Original subtitles

[siren wails]

[yelling]

News anchor: And the city burns.

Behind me, brave firefighters Heroically fight the blaze

Started in a battle Between disastron,

The last surviving Member of the chaos council

And our very own...

Awesome-x. Awesome-x?

Awesome-x.

Ahem. What?

Rumor has it,

Now that you've defeated all the Supervillains,

That you and your mercenary Robots--the exticles--

Oh, hey, good!

Big shout-out to the exticles.

Arroo!

Couldn't have done it Without you guys.

Oh, that was nice.

God, I with we had tivo.

Oh, now you want tivo.

You'll finally be retiring.

Is that accurate? No.

Ever--ever vigilant.

I am a beacon of vigilance.

Ok.

Also a beacon of fighting.

And now that you're Retiring--

I'm not retiring.

I guess the thanks of a Grateful city are yours.

Oh, uh...

You're welcome, city.

For force 10 news, I'm-- Thank you.

I'm-- Thank you, city.

You're awesome.

For force 10 news, I'm grace ryan.

And I'm am awesome-x!

Yeah, who started a rumor Awesome-x is retiring?

I may have... Stan?

...On behalf of awesome-x, Issued a press release.

Yes. Bu--

What the hell did You do that for?

Because now that awesome-x

Has defeated all the Supervillains in the city--

Ka-kow!

It's time xander crews Got focused...

Lame.

...On running his huge Multinational conglomerate.

Now, all the super hero nonsense Was all well and good--

Nonsense?!

Stan, I was avenging the

Untimely deaths of My murdered parents...

Who were murdered.

Yes. But--

Stan, hang on.

[telephone rings]

Telephone.

I'm blowing up here.

Go. Go time.

[continues ringing] [sighs]

Go time.

Operator. Yeah.

[ringing] Go time.

Grace: Hi, baby. It's me.

Did you see my interview With awesome-x?

Yes, I did.

Grace: Well, what did you think?

Uh--

Grace: I thought it went great.

Can you hang on a second?

Grace: Ok.

Ok.

Click.

[dial tone] Ho ho ho ho.

Oh, my god, she's gonna Be mad I did that.

I don't even know why I did it.

Do you think I'm selfish?

[horn honks]

Are we still on for tonight?

Xander?

I guess the network's down.

Uh, I've got 6 bars.

Me, too. Yeah, me, too.

Are you people gonna load out

Or dick around with Your phones all day?

6 bars.

[snickering]

That will be all, watley.

If there's anything else I-- Get out!

Damn, dawg.

What's all this bidness?

That's exactly what it is-- Business.

P&ls, balance sheets, Earnings estimates.

And why is it on my desk?

Because it's time you learned How to run a business.

And the first thing you're going To do is fire the exticles.

[gasps]

The exticles are the backbone of The awesome-x fighting force.

They're also a $5 million

Annual drain on The company's bottom line.

[scoffs]

Annual drain on The company's bottom line.

Yes! Well...

Unless we all of a sudden Lose $5 million somehow,

I'm not Firing my dawgs.

Damn it--

And...

I have to go ride in my limo.

♪ all that jizz ♪

♪ hey, all that jizz ♪

♪ tell you how it is ♪

[cell phone rings]

Go time... Except if it's stan.

Hey, baby. It's me.

Hey. You know what I was thinking?

Uh-uh.

Now I won't be covering those Crazy battles between

Supervillains and Awesome-x all the time,

And now I can really Concentrate on us.

Huh?

I mean talk about...

[jackhammer drowns out voice]

Grace: ...Maybe finally unfreezing Some of your sperm.

You-- When did you freeze my sperm?!

Oh, I always do that. Ha ha.

What?!

Oh, I always do that. Ha ha.

See you at your place at 7:00.

[phone beeps]

♪ taco supreme ♪

♪ super head, tell bill maher ♪

♪ I'm coming for you, baby ♪

Yeah, baby. [grunting]

Oh, yeah! Yeah, baby.

Oh! This is so wrong.

Oh, god! Oh, my god!

Oh, yeah. I'm with a prostitute.

Yeah, come on, You big black son of a bitch!

Oh, yeah!

What?! Where did that come from?

What? Oh, no.

Don't stop. I like it.

Ok. [groaning]

Computerized voice: Granted access.

Whoa, whoa, whoa! Oh, don't stop!

Shut up, hooker.

Grace: Xander?

Baby, you up here?

You have got to move that Crazy suit of armor

Before it kills somebody Or--aagh!

What--what are you doing here?

Xan--uh, billy--

Xander crews said I could use His place for this...

He-- Hooker.

You know him? We went to college together.

No, we didn't. Get out of here!

He will be at your Place in one hour.

I just--I--

No time, woman. He despises tardiness.

You should know that. Go!

Get out!

Oh, sorry. Bye.

Oh, my god.

I did not mean for Her to see this.

Xander crews.

Oh, let's go back to the Black--big black guy thing.

You're awesome-x!

[gasps] Oh, boy.

$5 million?!

I had to pay her off! Damn it!

Well, I can't have some Blabbity-mouth hooker

Running around with my Secret identity.

That's the first thing They teach you.

Nobody cares about your Secret identity.

It's to protect My loved ones.

You don't have any loved ones!

[gasps]

Stan!

What, who?

That girlfriend you Treat like dirt?

Your murdered parents?

Xander: Oh.

And you can say good-bye To the exticles.

What--what?! What what?

You just spent their entire Salary for the year.

Oh, see, I knew you were Gonna trick me into doing this!

Me?!

You're the one who paid $5 million for a blowjob!

I... It was a half and half...

First of all.

Second of all, ok. I'm going.

[sighs]

The exticles: He's coming. Everybody in position.

[guns cocking]

Yo.

Where the hell are you guys? Let's do this!

Ambush!

[screaming]

[making laser sounds]

[screaming]

Go time, mother-humpers!

Awesome! Awesome!

Bring it, you cyborg Sons of bitches!

What are you doing?!

It's a surprise party.

[clears throat] Do what now?

'cause we love you.

[groans]

Awesome x: Well, why the hell were you Pointing those damn guns at me?!

We got them at the party store.

Hey, guys, hey! Check this out.

I will open communist China to the west.

Put that back.

Oh, I thought you wanted to kill me

'cause I came up here To fire you.

What?! What?!

What?!

But the crews company funds the Entire awesome-x operation.

So, you know, take it up with Xander crews.

Let's kill that Son of a bitch!

Yeah! Yeah!

No, you know, let's-- Let's don't--

Kill him!

No, you know, let's-- Let's don't--

We kill bad guys. Come on.

So, uh... It's in our charter.

What's up with our 401k? My retirement!

Yeah, what is up with that?

[groans] Oh, what the--

That's my nest egg!

We're still gonna have Health insurance, right?

Oh, my god! Health insurance, I need that!

Ahem. Mm-mmm.

Oh, my god! What?!

Are we at least Eligible for cobra?

What, the little... The g.I. Joe dolls?

No.

Not the g.I. Joe dolls.

Oh, that reminds me.

Give me the...

The--where it is?

Kevin made you this-- We all kind of helped--

Before you shot him in the face.

Oh! You guys!

[gasps]

Guys, this... I mean, this is--

Yeah, it's sculpy. It's awesome!

Well, We all kind of helped.

And I think I just found a Way to save our jobs.

Mmm... Except kevin.

And mike. Uh, both mikes.

Oh, fat mike, too?

[harrumphing]

Order, please, gentlemen.

Order! Now then.

First item on the agenda is--

[can jingles]

Mr. Crews! Hey!

No, no! Don't get up.

How's it going? How's every--

[harrumphing]

...Body doing? Weird.

So, mr. Crews, this is Certainly a surprise.

Yeah, I bet.

But I'm here.

Harrumph!

And also, um...

[opens briefcase]

From now on, we're doing this.

I'm sorry?

'cause I converted All our factories

Over to making these Little guys.

You what? [harrumphing]

Whoosh! Wha!

That's him flying.

What?! Doll factory?!

You said if I can make the Awesome-x brand

A profitable Part of this company,

I could keep on doing Whatever I want.

No, I didn't.

Well, you implied it. No!

Hey!

I did not! Tone of voice!

Look, I don't care what "Boys from brazil"

Thing you got going On in there,

But I'm still the boss in here.

And we're making Awesome-x dolls,

And they're gonna kick So much ass,

You'll probably go blind.

And if you still have A problem with that,

There's the big-ass door.

You're not gonna sell doll One without a villain,

You ninny--

A cobra to your g.I. Joe;

A stretch monster to your Stretch armstrong;

A decepticon to your autobot.

I'm one step ahead of you, Stan.

Check it.

Oh, sweet mother of god.

Hi, mister-- [coughing]

Stan: Watley?

Yeah! No, no.

This monster man is?

The dread lobster. The dread lobster.

Stan: What?

The dread lobster. The dread lobster.

Uh...

Drive the sales, stan.

Thoughts? He's an abomination!

What! It was his idea!

Which, looking back, I guess I really didn't think through.

Keep 'em up, buddy. Chicka-chicka!

Why is he so pale?

Oh, why are you so pale, Watley?

I think maybe my body Is rejecting the claws.

Xander: Well, cut it out.

[coughs]

Watley?

Watley?

Oh. Is he dead?

He's damn close.

Take his neck pulse. That's what I'm--

Don't go into the light, Watley!

You imbecile! Hey!

Hurtful. Sit down!

250 years this company Has been in your family.

And from slaves and small pox

Blankets to soft-core porn And semiconductors,

It's always made A profit.

But with one fell idiotic swoop, You've ruined it.

I'm just glad your murdered Parents aren't--

My murdered parents wanted me To be happy!

And this can make me happy, Stan.

[sniffles]

Fiscal sales of awesome-x dolls.

Nobody is going to buy A super hero doll

Without a Villain to fight!

Well, then I'm kind Of at a loss.

Unless...

Oh, what about this Guy for the villain?

What? My man?

When did this get here? Uh...

Apparently, it's been here the Whole time.