Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:05,700 --> 00:00:09,200
BLACKADDER - The Cavalier Years
2
00:00:10,200 --> 00:00:14,900
In 1648, king Charles was in flight
from the wrath of Cromwell & his Roundheads.
3
00:00:14,900 --> 00:00:15,000
Only two men remained faithful,
risking certain death by their fidelity to the crown.
In 1648, king Charles was in flight
from the wrath of Cromwell & his Roundheads.
4
00:00:15,000 --> 00:00:19,400
Only two men remained faithful,
risking certain death by their fidelity to the crown.
5
00:00:19,400 --> 00:00:19,700
One was the sole descendent of a
great historical english dynasty.
Only two men remained faithful,
risking certain death by their fidelity to the crown.
6
00:00:19,700 --> 00:00:22,900
One was the sole descendent of a
great historical english dynasty.
7
00:00:22,900 --> 00:00:24,200
his name, Sir Edmund Blackadder.
One was the sole descendent of a
great historical english dynasty.
8
00:00:24,200 --> 00:00:24,900
his name, Sir Edmund Blackadder.
9
00:00:24,900 --> 00:00:25,800
The other was the sole descendent of an unfortunate
meeting between a pig-farmer and a bearded lady.
his name, Sir Edmund Blackadder.
10
00:00:25,800 --> 00:00:29,600
The other was the sole descendent of an unfortunate
meeting between a pig-farmer and a bearded lady.
11
00:00:29,600 --> 00:00:30,900
History has, quite rightly, forgotten his name.
The other was the sole descendent of an unfortunate
meeting between a pig-farmer and a bearded lady.
12
00:00:30,900 --> 00:00:34,700
History has, quite rightly, forgotten his name.
13
00:00:37,200 --> 00:00:38,100
Yes, sir?
Baldrick!
14
00:00:38,100 --> 00:00:39,000
Yes, sir?
15
00:00:39,000 --> 00:00:39,500
Get me some mulled ale, will you? I'm freezing.
Yes, sir?
16
00:00:39,500 --> 00:00:41,100
Get me some mulled ale, will you? I'm freezing.
17
00:00:41,100 --> 00:00:42,400
How's the King, sir?
Get me some mulled ale, will you? I'm freezing.
18
00:00:42,400 --> 00:00:42,600
Erm, about as comfortable
as can be expected for a man
How's the King, sir?
Get me some mulled ale, will you? I'm freezing.
19
00:00:42,600 --> 00:00:44,400
How's the King, sir?
Erm, about as comfortable
as can be expected for a man
20
00:00:44,400 --> 00:00:45,500
Erm, about as comfortable
as can be expected for a man
21
00:00:45,500 --> 00:00:47,200
who's spending the winter
in a blackcurrant bush.
Erm, about as comfortable
as can be expected for a man
22
00:00:47,200 --> 00:00:50,300
who's spending the winter
in a blackcurrant bush.
23
00:00:50,800 --> 00:00:51,200
Do you think the Roundheads will find him?
24
00:00:51,200 --> 00:00:53,000
Certainly not.
Do you think the Roundheads will find him?
25
00:00:53,000 --> 00:00:53,500
I've assured him that he is as likely
to be caught as fox
Certainly not.
Do you think the Roundheads will find him?
26
00:00:53,500 --> 00:00:54,500
Certainly not.
I've assured him that he is as likely
to be caught as fox
27
00:00:54,500 --> 00:00:56,000
I've assured him that he is as likely
to be caught as fox
28
00:00:56,000 --> 00:00:57,800
being chased by a pack of
one-legged hunting tortoises.
I've assured him that he is as likely
to be caught as fox
29
00:00:57,800 --> 00:01:01,300
being chased by a pack of
one-legged hunting tortoises.
30
00:01:01,900 --> 00:01:04,900
Yes, of course it's true.
Have you ever known me to lie to the King?
Is that true?
31
00:01:04,900 --> 00:01:05,000
Yes, of course it's true.
Have you ever known me to lie to the King?
32
00:01:05,000 --> 00:01:07,400
Yes.
Yes, of course it's true.
Have you ever known me to lie to the King?
33
00:01:07,400 --> 00:01:07,500
Yes.
34
00:01:07,500 --> 00:01:09,900
No.
Yes.
35
00:01:09,900 --> 00:01:10,100
Exactly.
No.
Yes.
36
00:01:10,100 --> 00:01:10,200
He is absolutely safe as long as you keep
your fat mouth shut.
Exactly.
No.
Yes.
37
00:01:10,200 --> 00:01:10,800
No.
Exactly.
He is absolutely safe as long as you keep
your fat mouth shut.
38
00:01:10,800 --> 00:01:13,100
Exactly.
He is absolutely safe as long as you keep
your fat mouth shut.
39
00:01:13,100 --> 00:01:14,100
He is absolutely safe as long as you keep
your fat mouth shut.
40
00:01:14,100 --> 00:01:17,000
You can trust me, sir.
He is absolutely safe as long as you keep
your fat mouth shut.
41
00:01:17,000 --> 00:01:18,900
You can trust me, sir.
42
00:01:19,300 --> 00:01:20,500
Right, Baldrick;
I'm off to answer the call of nature.
43
00:01:20,500 --> 00:01:23,700
If, by any freak chance,
Oliver Cromwell drops in here for a cup of milk
Right, Baldrick;
I'm off to answer the call of nature.
44
00:01:23,700 --> 00:01:24,500
If, by any freak chance,
Oliver Cromwell drops in here for a cup of milk
45
00:01:24,500 --> 00:01:26,700
in the next ninety seconds,
remember:
If, by any freak chance,
Oliver Cromwell drops in here for a cup of milk
46
00:01:26,700 --> 00:01:28,000
The King is not hiding here.
in the next ninety seconds,
remember:
If, by any freak chance,
Oliver Cromwell drops in here for a cup of milk
47
00:01:28,000 --> 00:01:30,500
in the next ninety seconds,
remember:
The King is not hiding here.
48
00:01:30,500 --> 00:01:31,900
The King is not hiding here.
49
00:01:31,900 --> 00:01:33,800
Yes, sir
The King is not hiding here.
50
00:01:33,800 --> 00:01:35,200
Yes, sir
51
00:01:38,200 --> 00:01:40,000
I am Oliver Cromwell.
My men have surrounded your house,
52
00:01:40,000 --> 00:01:42,400
Good evening, citizen!
I am Oliver Cromwell.
My men have surrounded your house,
53
00:01:42,400 --> 00:01:42,700
I am Oliver Cromwell.
My men have surrounded your house,
54
00:01:42,700 --> 00:01:45,400
and I am looking for royalist scum.
I am Oliver Cromwell.
My men have surrounded your house,
55
00:01:45,400 --> 00:01:46,400
Is the King hiding here?
and I am looking for royalist scum.
I am Oliver Cromwell.
My men have surrounded your house,
56
00:01:46,400 --> 00:01:49,200
and I am looking for royalist scum.
Is the King hiding here?
57
00:01:49,200 --> 00:01:51,600
Is the King hiding here?
58
00:02:03,800 --> 00:02:04,500
No.
59
00:02:05,800 --> 00:02:05,900
On pain of death and damnation,
are you absolutely sure?
60
00:02:05,900 --> 00:02:10,300
Yes, I am.
On pain of death and damnation,
are you absolutely sure?
61
00:02:10,300 --> 00:02:11,200
Well then, my proud beauty,
Yes, I am.
On pain of death and damnation,
are you absolutely sure?
62
00:02:11,200 --> 00:02:12,200
Yes, I am.
Well then, my proud beauty,
63
00:02:12,200 --> 00:02:13,500
Well then, my proud beauty,
64
00:02:13,500 --> 00:02:15,600
I see.
Well then, my proud beauty,
65
00:02:15,600 --> 00:02:18,600
Well then, my proud beauty,
66
00:02:18,600 --> 00:02:19,300
Men! Come in from the cold, will you!
Well then, my proud beauty,
67
00:02:19,300 --> 00:02:19,800
Men! Come in from the cold, will you!
68
00:02:19,800 --> 00:02:24,300
you won't mind if my men come in
from the cold, will you...
Men! Come in from the cold, will you!
69
00:02:24,300 --> 00:02:25,100
Men! Come in from the cold, will you!
70
00:02:25,100 --> 00:02:27,100
All right, but don't touch the purple cup.
Men! Come in from the cold, will you!
71
00:02:27,100 --> 00:02:27,600
All right, but don't touch the purple cup.
72
00:02:27,600 --> 00:02:31,200
Now; we shall all have a cup of milk
by your fireside.
All right, but don't touch the purple cup.
73
00:02:31,200 --> 00:02:33,000
All right, but don't touch the purple cup.
74
00:02:33,000 --> 00:02:33,600
Why not?
All right, but don't touch the purple cup.
75
00:02:33,600 --> 00:02:34,600
Why not?
76
00:02:34,600 --> 00:02:34,700
That's the King's.
Why not?
77
00:02:34,700 --> 00:02:36,100
That's the King's.
78
00:02:38,390 --> 00:02:40,820
Two Weeks Later.
The Tower of London.
79
00:02:43,910 --> 00:02:47,310
Thank you, citizen.
You may leave me alone with King Charles.
80
00:02:47,580 --> 00:02:50,780
Ah, Mr Cromwell!
How delightful to see you again.
81
00:02:51,200 --> 00:02:54,710
Um, don't get up.
Tell me: Er, have you come far?
82
00:02:54,790 --> 00:02:59,800
I have, sir! from country squire
to Lord Protector of England!
83
00:02:59,800 --> 00:03:02,590
Fascinating! Absolutely fascinating.
84
00:03:02,590 --> 00:03:03,600
Erm, tell me: Er, what exactly
does a Lord Protector do, as it were?
Fascinating! Absolutely fascinating.
85
00:03:03,600 --> 00:03:07,600
Erm, tell me: Er, what exactly
does a Lord Protector do, as it were?
86
00:03:07,720 --> 00:03:09,830
He spells your doom, sir!
87
00:03:09,850 --> 00:03:13,140
He spells my doom?
Wonderful! Well, that's particularly exciting,
88
00:03:13,140 --> 00:03:13,350
because so many people these days
can't spell at all! er,
He spells my doom?
Wonderful! Well, that's particularly exciting,
89
00:03:13,350 --> 00:03:16,940
because so many people these days
can't spell at all! er,
90
00:03:16,940 --> 00:03:16,950
particularly, as you know, in the inner cities,
which is my area of interest.
because so many people these days
can't spell at all! er,
91
00:03:16,950 --> 00:03:20,020
particularly, as you know, in the inner cities,
which is my area of interest.
92
00:03:20,020 --> 00:03:20,340
Pretty speech, sir!
particularly, as you know, in the inner cities,
which is my area of interest.
93
00:03:20,340 --> 00:03:21,530
Pretty speech, sir!
94
00:03:21,650 --> 00:03:25,450
But all your fine words
won't save you from the scaffold!
95
00:03:25,450 --> 00:03:25,560
Jolly good!
Fascinating! Carry on.
But all your fine words
won't save you from the scaffold!
96
00:03:25,560 --> 00:03:27,850
Jolly good!
Fascinating! Carry on.
97
00:03:27,950 --> 00:03:32,950
A priest, sir, to help you make your peace
with God before you die!
98
00:03:34,160 --> 00:03:36,830
Ah, hello!
99
00:03:36,830 --> 00:03:36,870
Your Majesty,
Ah, hello!
100
00:03:36,870 --> 00:03:38,040
Your Majesty,
101
00:03:38,040 --> 00:03:41,050
I can arrange for certain monies to be paid,
to allow you to escape.
102
00:03:41,050 --> 00:03:41,350
Blackadder! You're dressed as a priest!
I can arrange for certain monies to be paid,
to allow you to escape.
103
00:03:41,350 --> 00:03:43,510
Blackadder! You're dressed as a priest!
104
00:03:43,510 --> 00:03:43,850
How dangerous and stupid and perverted!
It's just like school!
Blackadder! You're dressed as a priest!
105
00:03:43,850 --> 00:03:48,410
How dangerous and stupid and perverted!
It's just like school!
106
00:03:48,760 --> 00:03:51,510
Sire, this is a matter of life and death.
107
00:03:51,510 --> 00:03:51,530
Nonsense, Blackadder
Sire, this is a matter of life and death.
108
00:03:51,530 --> 00:03:52,850
Nonsense, Blackadder
109
00:03:52,850 --> 00:03:53,080
I don't think there's a jury in England
that would bring in a verdict of guilty against me.
Nonsense, Blackadder
110
00:03:53,080 --> 00:03:57,450
I don't think there's a jury in England
that would bring in a verdict of guilty against me.
111
00:03:57,520 --> 00:03:59,630
Your Majesty -- the verdict of the jury.
112
00:04:00,190 --> 00:04:03,700
So, what does it say? Er, ?
Guilty?, or ?Not Guilty??
113
00:04:04,030 --> 00:04:07,070
I'll give you two guesses.
114
00:04:07,070 --> 00:04:07,430
Er, ?Not Guilty?.
I'll give you two guesses.
115
00:04:07,430 --> 00:04:08,580
Er, ?Not Guilty?.
116
00:04:08,950 --> 00:04:10,850
One more guess.
117
00:04:15,000 --> 00:04:17,370
Oh, damn
118
00:04:17,370 --> 00:04:18,300
one measly civil war
in the entire history of England,
Oh, damn
119
00:04:18,300 --> 00:04:21,340
one measly civil war
in the entire history of England,
120
00:04:21,500 --> 00:04:24,410
and I'm on the wrong bloody side!
121
00:04:25,420 --> 00:04:26,880
Something wrong, sir?
122
00:04:26,880 --> 00:04:27,130
Yes, Baldrick, yes, there is.
Something wrong, sir?
123
00:04:27,130 --> 00:04:28,430
Yes, Baldrick, yes, there is.
124
00:04:28,430 --> 00:04:28,690
Don't you realise that, if the King dies,
we royalists are doomed?
Yes, Baldrick, yes, there is.
125
00:04:28,690 --> 00:04:31,830
Don't you realise that, if the King dies,
we royalists are doomed?
126
00:04:31,970 --> 00:04:34,470
We will enter a hideous age
of puritanism
127
00:04:34,470 --> 00:04:34,580
they'll close all the theatres;
lace handkerchiefs for men will be illegal
We will enter a hideous age
of puritanism
128
00:04:34,580 --> 00:04:39,480
they'll close all the theatres;
lace handkerchiefs for men will be illegal
129
00:04:40,020 --> 00:04:45,030
and I won't be able to find a friendly face
to sit on this side of Boulogne.
130
00:04:46,150 --> 00:04:51,160
If they so much as suspect our loyalties,
our property will be forfeit and we'll be for the chop.
131
00:04:51,820 --> 00:04:54,330
Ooh, I love chops...
132
00:04:55,040 --> 00:05:03,540
Baldrick, your brain is like the four-headed
man-eating haddock fish-beast of Aberdeen.
133
00:05:04,630 --> 00:05:05,730
In what way?
134
00:05:05,800 --> 00:05:10,800
It doesn't exist.
Oh god, what are we going to do?
135
00:05:10,890 --> 00:05:12,990
Don't despair, sir; something will pop up.
136
00:05:13,050 --> 00:05:15,460
Not under puritanism, it won't.
137
00:05:16,810 --> 00:05:18,410
We must do something,
138
00:05:19,600 --> 00:05:23,190
We must do something, otherwise
the Blackadders are as doomed as that ant.
139
00:05:23,190 --> 00:05:25,210
What ant?
140
00:05:26,690 --> 00:05:28,650
That one.
141
00:05:28,860 --> 00:05:31,700
January 30th.
So this is the day of the execution of
142
00:05:31,780 --> 00:05:33,700
Charles the First...
143
00:05:33,700 --> 00:05:33,980
Absolutely not, Your Majesty!
Charles the First...
144
00:05:33,980 --> 00:05:36,290
Absolutely not, Your Majesty!
145
00:05:36,290 --> 00:05:36,410
Those Roundhead traitors have one final hurdle
that they will never straddle.
Absolutely not, Your Majesty!
146
00:05:36,410 --> 00:05:41,250
Those Roundhead traitors have one final hurdle
that they will never straddle.
147
00:05:41,250 --> 00:05:41,290
How fascinating!
Erm, what is that, exactly?
Those Roundhead traitors have one final hurdle
that they will never straddle.
148
00:05:41,290 --> 00:05:43,590
How fascinating!
Erm, what is that, exactly?
149
00:05:43,590 --> 00:05:43,810
They will never find a man to behead you.
How fascinating!
Erm, what is that, exactly?
150
00:05:43,810 --> 00:05:46,090
They will never find a man to behead you.
151
00:05:46,090 --> 00:05:46,290
They'd have hundreds of volunteers
to cut Cromwell's head off
They will never find a man to behead you.
152
00:05:46,290 --> 00:05:48,300
They'd have hundreds of volunteers
to cut Cromwell's head off
153
00:05:48,300 --> 00:05:48,590
he's such an ugly devil.
They'd have hundreds of volunteers
to cut Cromwell's head off
154
00:05:48,590 --> 00:05:49,700
he's such an ugly devil.
155
00:05:49,920 --> 00:05:52,800
He's got so many warts on his face
that it's only when he sneezes
156
00:05:52,800 --> 00:05:53,230
that you find out which one is his nose.
He's got so many warts on his face
that it's only when he sneezes
157
00:05:53,230 --> 00:05:55,710
that you find out which one is his nose.
158
00:05:57,350 --> 00:05:59,390
But they will never find
a man to execute you.
159
00:05:59,390 --> 00:05:59,450
Well, you see, I find that
absolutely tragic!
But they will never find
a man to execute you.
160
00:05:59,450 --> 00:06:02,100
Well, you see, I find that
absolutely tragic!
161
00:06:02,480 --> 00:06:06,690
You know, there are so many young people
who would leap at a chance like this.
162
00:06:06,690 --> 00:06:06,780
Oh, I don't know ...
You know, there are so many young people
who would leap at a chance like this.
163
00:06:06,780 --> 00:06:07,860
Oh, I don't know ...
164
00:06:07,860 --> 00:06:08,000
all they need is the initiative, somehow.
Oh, I don't know ...
165
00:06:08,000 --> 00:06:10,530
all they need is the initiative, somehow.
166
00:06:10,530 --> 00:06:10,560
I suppose, in a sense, that's what my
Wood Scheme is all about.
all they need is the initiative, somehow.
167
00:06:10,560 --> 00:06:14,820
I suppose, in a sense, that's what my
Wood Scheme is all about.
168
00:06:14,820 --> 00:06:14,890
Really...
- Yes.
I suppose, in a sense, that's what my
Wood Scheme is all about.
169
00:06:14,890 --> 00:06:15,930
Really...
- Yes.
170
00:06:15,990 --> 00:06:16,630
On the other hand, of course,
171
00:06:16,630 --> 00:06:16,660
I don't want my head cut off...
On the other hand, of course,
172
00:06:16,660 --> 00:06:18,730
I don't want my head cut off...
173
00:06:19,160 --> 00:06:20,750
Er, it's a question of balance, isn't it?
like with so many things.
174
00:06:20,750 --> 00:06:21,370
Shut up -
- with the greatest respect -
- Your Majesty.
Er, it's a question of balance, isn't it?
like with so many things.
175
00:06:21,370 --> 00:06:23,450
Shut up -
- with the greatest respect -
- Your Majesty.
176
00:06:23,750 --> 00:06:24,130
Thank you.
177
00:06:24,130 --> 00:06:24,610
They will never find an executioner,
Thank you.
178
00:06:24,610 --> 00:06:25,710
They will never find an executioner,
179
00:06:25,710 --> 00:06:26,190
and if they do, may my conjugal dipstick
turn into a tennis racket.
They will never find an executioner,
180
00:06:26,190 --> 00:06:30,320
and if they do, may my conjugal dipstick
turn into a tennis racket.
181
00:06:32,380 --> 00:06:37,390
A message for the King.
182
00:06:45,860 --> 00:06:48,760
"There's a tavern in the town
-- IN THE TOWN!"
183
00:06:48,860 --> 00:06:50,760
For God's sake, stop that, Baldrick!
184
00:06:52,070 --> 00:06:55,570
It's bad enough having one's life in utter ruins
without being serenaded by a moron
185
00:06:55,570 --> 00:06:56,580
with all the entertainment value
of a tap-dancing oyster.
It's bad enough having one's life in utter ruins
without being serenaded by a moron
186
00:06:56,580 --> 00:07:00,480
with all the entertainment value
of a tap-dancing oyster.
187
00:07:00,830 --> 00:07:05,430
I'm sorry, sir -- I can't help it.
See, I've just had a little windfall.
188
00:07:05,500 --> 00:07:08,810
Baldrick, I've told you before:
If you're going to do that, go into the garden.
189
00:07:10,470 --> 00:07:12,590
No -- I mean I've come into some money.
190
00:07:12,590 --> 00:07:12,680
Really... Family inheritance?
No -- I mean I've come into some money.
191
00:07:12,680 --> 00:07:14,590
Really... Family inheritance?
192
00:07:14,590 --> 00:07:15,200
No. I ate that ages ago.
Really... Family inheritance?
193
00:07:15,200 --> 00:07:17,100
No. I ate that ages ago.
194
00:07:17,800 --> 00:07:21,710
Oh yes, of course -- your thoughtful father
bequeathed you a turnip.
195
00:07:22,560 --> 00:07:25,190
No, it was fifty pounds, actually;
it was delicious.
196
00:07:25,190 --> 00:07:25,560
But this is just a little something
that fell in my lap.
No, it was fifty pounds, actually;
it was delicious.
197
00:07:25,560 --> 00:07:28,400
But this is just a little something
that fell in my lap.
198
00:07:28,650 --> 00:07:32,450
Not the first time that there's been a little
something in your lap, Baldrick.
199
00:07:32,490 --> 00:07:35,070
No... But this one is a job.
200
00:07:35,070 --> 00:07:35,390
Really...
No... But this one is a job.
201
00:07:35,390 --> 00:07:36,360
Really...
202
00:07:36,360 --> 00:07:36,880
I just don't understand it.
Really...
203
00:07:36,880 --> 00:07:37,620
I just don't understand it.
204
00:07:37,620 --> 00:07:37,970
Where on Earth did they find a man
so utterly without heart and soul,
I just don't understand it.
205
00:07:37,970 --> 00:07:41,580
Where on Earth did they find a man
so utterly without heart and soul,
206
00:07:41,580 --> 00:07:41,680
so low and degraded as to accept the job
of beheading the King of England?
Where on Earth did they find a man
so utterly without heart and soul,
207
00:07:41,680 --> 00:07:48,090
so low and degraded as to accept the job
of beheading the King of England?
208
00:07:53,300 --> 00:07:54,130
Baldrick...
209
00:07:55,160 --> 00:07:55,970
Yeah?
210
00:07:56,630 --> 00:07:59,840
That little job that fell into your lap...
- Yes?
211
00:07:59,850 --> 00:08:02,970
It wasn't, by any chance, something to do
with an axe, a basket,
212
00:08:02,970 --> 00:08:03,350
a little black mask,
and the King of England...?
It wasn't, by any chance, something to do
with an axe, a basket,
213
00:08:03,350 --> 00:08:05,480
a little black mask,
and the King of England...?
214
00:08:05,480 --> 00:08:05,580
Nah...
a little black mask,
and the King of England...?
215
00:08:05,580 --> 00:08:06,810
Nah...
216
00:08:06,810 --> 00:08:06,980
Go on.
Nah...
217
00:08:06,980 --> 00:08:07,560
Go on.
218
00:08:07,560 --> 00:08:07,920
I couldn't find a basket.
Go on.
219
00:08:07,920 --> 00:08:09,570
I couldn't find a basket.
220
00:08:09,810 --> 00:08:12,920
You very small total bastard!
221
00:08:13,030 --> 00:08:17,320
Oh, please, sir! Don't kill me!
I have a cunning plan to save the King!
222
00:08:17,320 --> 00:08:17,330
Well, you'll forgive me if I don't do
a cartwheel of joy;
Oh, please, sir! Don't kill me!
I have a cunning plan to save the King!
223
00:08:17,330 --> 00:08:19,570
Well, you'll forgive me if I don't do
a cartwheel of joy;
224
00:08:19,570 --> 00:08:19,730
your family's record in the department of
cunning planning is about as impressive
Well, you'll forgive me if I don't do
a cartwheel of joy;
225
00:08:19,730 --> 00:08:23,940
your family's record in the department of
cunning planning is about as impressive
226
00:08:23,950 --> 00:08:29,660
as Stumpy O'Leg McNoleg's personal best
in the Market Harborough Marathon.
227
00:08:31,840 --> 00:08:34,050
All right... What's the plan?
228
00:08:36,890 --> 00:08:40,130
A pumpkin is going to save the King...
229
00:08:40,350 --> 00:08:45,850
Aah! But, over here,
I have one that I prepared earlier.
230
00:08:48,940 --> 00:08:51,940
I will balance it on the
King's head, like this.
231
00:08:51,940 --> 00:08:52,240
Then, I will cover his real head with a cloak,
and then, when I execute him,
I will balance it on the
King's head, like this.
232
00:08:52,240 --> 00:08:57,550
Then, I will cover his real head with a cloak,
and then, when I execute him,
233
00:08:57,650 --> 00:09:03,860
instead of cutting off his real head,
I will cut off the pumpkin, and the King survives!
234
00:09:04,990 --> 00:09:07,370
I'm not sure it's going to work, Balders.
235
00:09:07,370 --> 00:09:08,200
Why not?
I'm not sure it's going to work, Balders.
236
00:09:08,200 --> 00:09:08,960
Why not?
237
00:09:08,960 --> 00:09:09,380
Because, once you cut it off, you have to hold it up
in front of the crowd and say,
Why not?
238
00:09:09,380 --> 00:09:12,360
Because, once you cut it off, you have to hold it up
in front of the crowd and say,
239
00:09:12,420 --> 00:09:15,960
"This is the head of a traitor,"
at which point, they will shout back,
240
00:09:15,960 --> 00:09:16,020
"No it's not; it's large pumpkin with a
pathetic moustache drawn on it.
"This is the head of a traitor,"
at which point, they will shout back,
241
00:09:16,020 --> 00:09:20,970
"No it's not; it's large pumpkin with a
pathetic moustache drawn on it.
242
00:09:21,180 --> 00:09:23,560
I suppose it's not one
hundred percent convincing.
243
00:09:23,560 --> 00:09:23,680
It's not one percent convincing, Baldrick.
I suppose it's not one
hundred percent convincing.
244
00:09:23,680 --> 00:09:26,640
It's not one percent convincing, Baldrick.
245
00:09:26,640 --> 00:09:26,960
However, I'm a busy man, and I can't
be bothered to punch you at the moment.
It's not one percent convincing, Baldrick.
246
00:09:26,960 --> 00:09:30,100
However, I'm a busy man, and I can't
be bothered to punch you at the moment.
247
00:09:30,770 --> 00:09:34,180
Here is my fist.
Kindly run towards it as fast as you can.
248
00:09:34,230 --> 00:09:35,060
Yes, sir.
249
00:09:38,690 --> 00:09:42,490
I just don't understand it!
What possessed you to take the job?
250
00:09:42,570 --> 00:09:46,830
Oh, I'm sorry, sir -
- it was just a wild, silly, foolish plan.
251
00:09:46,830 --> 00:09:47,080
I thought, with the money I got
from executing the King, I could sneak out and
Oh, I'm sorry, sir -
- it was just a wild, silly, foolish plan.
252
00:09:47,080 --> 00:09:51,330
I thought, with the money I got
from executing the King, I could sneak out and
253
00:09:51,330 --> 00:09:51,830
buy a brand-new king when
no-one was looking,
I thought, with the money I got
from executing the King, I could sneak out and
254
00:09:51,830 --> 00:09:54,090
buy a brand-new king when
no-one was looking,
255
00:09:54,090 --> 00:09:54,440
and pop him back on the throne
without anyone noticing.
buy a brand-new king when
no-one was looking,
256
00:09:54,440 --> 00:09:57,210
and pop him back on the throne
without anyone noticing.
257
00:09:57,210 --> 00:09:57,390
Your head is as empty as
a eunuch's underpants.
and pop him back on the throne
without anyone noticing.
258
00:09:57,390 --> 00:10:00,920
Your head is as empty as
a eunuch's underpants.
259
00:10:02,180 --> 00:10:05,430
You'd do anything for thirty pieces
of silver, wouldn't you...
260
00:10:05,430 --> 00:10:05,480
It was a thousand pounds,
actually, sir -- plus tip!
You'd do anything for thirty pieces
of silver, wouldn't you...
261
00:10:05,480 --> 00:10:08,890
It was a thousand pounds,
actually, sir -- plus tip!
262
00:10:11,140 --> 00:10:13,350
Well, I suppose somebody's got
to do it, hadn't they!
263
00:10:13,770 --> 00:10:18,580
And if it's going to be done, it's got to be done in a single
stroke by someone who actually owns an axe.
264
00:10:18,610 --> 00:10:22,220
We don't want you hacking away at it all afternoon
with that cheap pen-knife of yours.
265
00:10:22,700 --> 00:10:25,700
It would be so embarrassing to have King Charles
staggering around Hampton Court tomorrow morning
266
00:10:25,700 --> 00:10:26,800
with his neck flapping like a fish's gills.
It would be so embarrassing to have King Charles
staggering around Hampton Court tomorrow morning
267
00:10:26,800 --> 00:10:30,110
with his neck flapping like a fish's gills.
268
00:10:30,120 --> 00:10:31,360
Sir, you don't mean...?
269
00:10:31,360 --> 00:10:31,480
Yep -- I'm doing it.
Lend me your costume,
Sir, you don't mean...?
270
00:10:31,480 --> 00:10:34,070
Yep -- I'm doing it.
Lend me your costume,
271
00:10:34,080 --> 00:10:39,490
then go immediately to the King and inform him
that Sir Edmund Blackadder cannot be with him tomorrow.
272
00:10:39,920 --> 00:10:44,230
And make sure you think up
a bloody good excuse.
273
00:10:44,720 --> 00:10:47,680
...so that's why he can't be here.
Sorry.
274
00:10:47,680 --> 00:10:47,820
I see. Well, I quite understand, yes...
...so that's why he can't be here.
Sorry.
275
00:10:47,820 --> 00:10:51,290
I see. Well, I quite understand, yes...
276
00:10:52,730 --> 00:10:56,690
Sir, the moment has arrived!
Are you ready to meet your maker?
277
00:10:56,690 --> 00:10:56,930
Well, I'm always absolutely fascinated
to meet people from all walks of life,
Sir, the moment has arrived!
Are you ready to meet your maker?
278
00:10:56,930 --> 00:11:01,690
Well, I'm always absolutely fascinated
to meet people from all walks of life,
279
00:11:01,740 --> 00:11:04,910
but, er, yes, particularly
manufacturing industries.
280
00:11:04,910 --> 00:11:05,040
Well then, have a quick walk and talk
with your executioner, and let's get on with it.
but, er, yes, particularly
manufacturing industries.
281
00:11:05,040 --> 00:11:09,910
Well then, have a quick walk and talk
with your executioner, and let's get on with it.
282
00:11:10,090 --> 00:11:10,700
Right.
283
00:11:14,710 --> 00:11:17,710
Well, I'm sorry, my friend,
I'm alone here today
284
00:11:18,040 --> 00:11:23,850
I had hoped that my good, loyal chum,
Sir Edmund Blackadder, would be here with me, but,
285
00:11:23,880 --> 00:11:28,590
unfortunately, his wife's sister's puppy
fell into the strawberry patch,
286
00:11:29,890 --> 00:11:32,440
so, naturally, he can't be with us.
287
00:11:32,760 --> 00:11:33,980
Uh huh...
288
00:11:34,520 --> 00:11:37,620
All I can do is bid you do your duty well.
289
00:11:37,690 --> 00:11:43,690
Well, thank you, Your Majesty.
And may I say how much I mourn for your lot,
290
00:11:43,740 --> 00:11:47,570
and bid you remember others before you
who have died unjustly.
291
00:11:47,570 --> 00:11:47,940
Thank you.
I take great solace from that.
and bid you remember others before you
who have died unjustly.
292
00:11:47,940 --> 00:11:49,490
Thank you.
I take great solace from that.
293
00:11:49,490 --> 00:11:49,680
Sir Thomas More, for instance:
A great, generous man to the last.
Thank you.
I take great solace from that.
294
00:11:49,680 --> 00:11:52,500
Sir Thomas More, for instance:
A great, generous man to the last.
295
00:11:52,500 --> 00:11:52,700
He apparently tipped his
executioner handsomely...
Sir Thomas More, for instance:
A great, generous man to the last.
296
00:11:52,700 --> 00:11:56,500
He apparently tipped his
executioner handsomely...
297
00:11:56,780 --> 00:12:00,780
Oh, I'm so sorry;
I thought service was included.
I beg your pardon.
298
00:12:01,210 --> 00:12:02,680
Um, here you are.
299
00:12:04,670 --> 00:12:06,380
Hmm. And then there was the Earle of Essex...
300
00:12:06,470 --> 00:12:07,670
Was there...
301
00:12:07,760 --> 00:12:13,220
A truly great man -- they still sing his famous ballad
down the Chepstow Arms.
302
00:12:13,220 --> 00:12:13,270
What ballad is that?
A truly great man -- they still sing his famous ballad
down the Chepstow Arms.
303
00:12:13,270 --> 00:12:14,680
What ballad is that?
304
00:12:14,680 --> 00:12:14,730
"The Earle he had a thousand sovereigns,
hey nonny no!
What ballad is that?
305
00:12:14,730 --> 00:12:19,190
"The Earle he had a thousand sovereigns,
hey nonny no!
306
00:12:19,230 --> 00:12:24,040
He gave them all away to the man
with the axe ... oh!"
307
00:12:24,610 --> 00:12:26,070
A thousand sovereigns?
308
00:12:26,070 --> 00:12:26,320
Well, you can't take it with you,
Your Majesty...
A thousand sovereigns?
309
00:12:26,320 --> 00:12:28,490
Well, you can't take it with you,
Your Majesty...
310
00:12:28,490 --> 00:12:28,880
Very true. Well, there you are.
Well, you can't take it with you,
Your Majesty...
311
00:12:28,880 --> 00:12:30,370
Very true. Well, there you are.
312
00:12:30,370 --> 00:12:30,600
Do keep the change.
Very true. Well, there you are.
313
00:12:30,600 --> 00:12:31,700
Do keep the change.
314
00:12:31,700 --> 00:12:31,770
Thank you, Your Majesty.
Do keep the change.
315
00:12:31,770 --> 00:12:33,380
Thank you, Your Majesty.
316
00:12:33,380 --> 00:12:33,410
Right; should we go?
Thank you, Your Majesty.
317
00:12:33,410 --> 00:12:33,870
Right; should we go?
318
00:12:33,870 --> 00:12:34,380
Just a moment!
Right; should we go?
319
00:12:34,380 --> 00:12:35,750
Just a moment!
320
00:12:35,750 --> 00:12:35,880
That voice has a strangely familiar ring ...
and so does that finger!
Just a moment!
321
00:12:35,880 --> 00:12:40,750
That voice has a strangely familiar ring ...
and so does that finger!
322
00:12:42,390 --> 00:12:43,790
Blackadder!
323
00:12:44,670 --> 00:12:46,980
Hello, Your Majesty!
324
00:12:47,070 --> 00:12:49,100
You cunning swine!
325
00:12:49,850 --> 00:12:51,180
Er, yes, well, er, er, er...
326
00:12:51,220 --> 00:12:52,510
Marvelous! Splendid!
327
00:12:52,510 --> 00:12:52,830
You duped Cromwell and
you've concocted a cunning plan
Marvelous! Splendid!
328
00:12:52,830 --> 00:12:57,030
You duped Cromwell and
you've concocted a cunning plan
329
00:12:57,030 --> 00:12:57,120
to help me and my infant son
escape to France!
You duped Cromwell and
you've concocted a cunning plan
330
00:12:57,120 --> 00:12:59,930
to help me and my infant son
escape to France!
331
00:13:00,270 --> 00:13:02,900
Ah yes! That's right, yes...
332
00:13:02,900 --> 00:13:03,180
So, let's put your cunning plan
into operation straight away!
Ah yes! That's right, yes...
333
00:13:03,180 --> 00:13:06,800
So, let's put your cunning plan
into operation straight away!
334
00:13:07,070 --> 00:13:12,880
Yes, let's... Er... Well...
You start the ball rolling.
335
00:13:13,030 --> 00:13:14,940
No, no -- after you.
336
00:13:15,040 --> 00:13:17,040
Er, yeah, right, yes...
337
00:13:17,750 --> 00:13:21,630
Er, oh yes! Yes, right!
and it's a very good plan!
338
00:13:21,630 --> 00:13:21,850
It's a staggering,
bowel-shatteringly good plan!
Er, oh yes! Yes, right!
and it's a very good plan!
339
00:13:21,850 --> 00:13:25,170
It's a staggering,
bowel-shatteringly good plan!
340
00:13:25,630 --> 00:13:28,130
Ten Minutes Later
Is the King ready?
341
00:13:28,130 --> 00:13:28,200
He is.Come, Your Majesty!
Ten Minutes Later
Is the King ready?
342
00:13:28,200 --> 00:13:31,640
He is.Come, Your Majesty!
343
00:13:48,110 --> 00:13:50,780
This is the head of a traitor!
344
00:13:50,780 --> 00:13:50,820
No it's not; it's a huge pumpkin
with a pathetic moustache drawn on it!
This is the head of a traitor!
345
00:13:50,820 --> 00:13:58,390
No it's not; it's a huge pumpkin
with a pathetic moustache drawn on it!
346
00:13:58,830 --> 00:14:02,790
Oh yes -- so it is!
Sorry! I'll try again.
347
00:14:10,840 --> 00:14:13,720
Well, sir, they can't say you didn't try.
348
00:14:13,720 --> 00:14:13,850
Now the future of the British monarchy
lies fast asleep in your arms,
Well, sir, they can't say you didn't try.
349
00:14:13,850 --> 00:14:18,140
Now the future of the British monarchy
lies fast asleep in your arms,
350
00:14:18,140 --> 00:14:18,330
in the person of this infant prince.
Now the future of the British monarchy
lies fast asleep in your arms,
351
00:14:18,330 --> 00:14:20,390
in the person of this infant prince.
352
00:14:20,390 --> 00:14:20,550
And, with the money you've earned,
you and he can escape to France.
in the person of this infant prince.
353
00:14:20,550 --> 00:14:23,960
And, with the money you've earned,
you and he can escape to France.
354
00:14:23,960 --> 00:14:24,080
Well, quite.
And, with the money you've earned,
you and he can escape to France.
355
00:14:24,080 --> 00:14:25,610
Well, quite.
356
00:14:25,930 --> 00:14:29,900
On the other hand, you can stay here,
and, as a known loyalist,
357
00:14:29,900 --> 00:14:30,240
the Roundheads will come
and cut your head off.
On the other hand, you can stay here,
and, as a known loyalist,
358
00:14:30,240 --> 00:14:31,820
the Roundheads will come
and cut your head off.
359
00:14:31,820 --> 00:14:32,110
Exactly, Baldrick!
the Roundheads will come
and cut your head off.
360
00:14:32,110 --> 00:14:33,330
Exactly, Baldrick!
361
00:14:34,280 --> 00:14:34,980
Oh my god!
362
00:14:34,980 --> 00:14:35,090
Do you want the house burned?
Oh my god!
363
00:14:35,090 --> 00:14:36,580
Do you want the house burned?
364
00:14:36,580 --> 00:14:36,590
Oh no! We're surrounded!
What'll we do?
Do you want the house burned?
365
00:14:36,590 --> 00:14:39,410
Oh no! We're surrounded!
What'll we do?
366
00:14:39,410 --> 00:14:39,480
Well, at times like this, Baldrick,
there is no choice for a man of honour.
Oh no! We're surrounded!
What'll we do?
367
00:14:39,480 --> 00:14:43,000
Well, at times like this, Baldrick,
there is no choice for a man of honour.
368
00:14:43,000 --> 00:14:43,220
He must stand and fight,
and die in defence of his...
Well, at times like this, Baldrick,
there is no choice for a man of honour.
369
00:14:43,220 --> 00:14:46,220
He must stand and fight,
and die in defence of his...
370
00:14:46,220 --> 00:14:46,300
future sovereign.
He must stand and fight,
and die in defence of his...
371
00:14:46,300 --> 00:14:47,520
future sovereign.
372
00:14:49,220 --> 00:14:51,330
Fortunately, I'm not a man of honour.
373
00:14:56,250 --> 00:15:00,250
Thank God you've come!
Seize the royalist scum!!!
374
00:15:02,690 --> 00:15:10,110
subtitles by Rollo
35966
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof