Original subtitles

Sun cream, check.

Seasickness tablets, check.

Wedding shoes, check.

Backup wedding shoes in case of rain and/or soft lawn, check.

Map, check.

Van keys, check.

Ferry ticket, check.

Despite this,

there are no two people better suited

than Cherry and Krish.

That's if you don't count me and Krish, that is.

Now, I'm not saying Krish is a prude,

but when I asked him...

... but when I asked him if he'd popped Cherry's...

Eyelash curler!

Come on!

Come on! Come on!

-Addie. -Yeah.

What are you doing?

-Packing. -It's 6:30 in the morning.

And you didn't think we'd be on the road before 9:00.

-I've got your dry cleaning. -Oh,

Maya, you're a lifesaver.

Your speech, printed out like you wanted,

double-spaced six by four with the dirty joke

and without the dirty joke.

That's great, thank you.

What did you think?

Oh, um...

I don't really get millennial humour.

Right, right. Yeah.

Do you think it's a mistake?

I'm just saying we don't have to go

if you're not ready to see him.

I meant the dress.

Oh, then yes.

-Mmm. -Mmm.

I can't let down Cherry,

not now she's paid for the ferry tickets.

Besides, what about all that breast milk

you've got in the freezer?

Oh, I'll sell it to some perverts.

Be selfish for once.

You don't have to be a good person

all the time.

I got ahold of the seating plan

for the reception dinner, like you asked.

Anyone in particular you want to know about?

No, no.

It's going to be fine.

Cherry showed me the seating plan.

He's on the top table.

We're right at the back.

We don't have to talk to each other.

Probably won't even come over and say hi.

Well, not if you wear that.

Well, hurry up.

We're gonna miss the flight.

Does your dad know you borrowed his car?

I don't know, I'm not psychic.

Ah! Did you get the plane tickets?

Er, yeah.

I guess business is just for the best man.

She's put you in economy.

She did bloody not.

You fucker.

You fucker. Get in.

You've got to talk to her.

You know it's nothing personal,

but now we need the space.

I mean, the breakup was what?

Two years ago?

Can't be heartbreak hotel forever.

Oh, that's nice.

Yeah...

I'll talk to her in the van.

I feel bad.

She was so happy,

and then one day it was just over.

You know, she still won't even tell me what actually happened.

I'm sorry Ila couldn't come too.

Hey, I'm sorry you couldn't find

a better plus-one than your sister.

This trip's gonna be brilliant though.

Feel like we haven't hung out just the two of us in ages.

Oh...

What?

I forgot to tell you.

What?

Who even is he?

- Rodney. - Rodney who?

Rodney from Cherry's work.

He posted on the Facebook wedding group asking for a lift.

What was I supposed to do?

Delete Facebook.

If Cherry likes him enough to invite to the wedding,

he must be cool.

Do the back windows open?

Because I can get quite bad travel sickness.

Um, yeah, I think so.

It's fine if not.

I've got a plastic bag.

He's got a plastic bag.

Oh.

Take it you had a quiet one last night.

Blame the bottle girl.

You should pace yourself.

Maybe make the rehearsal dinner tomorrow night

-a dry run for the wedding? -It'll be fine.

Check-in closes in half an hour.

Do you know who you sound like?

Honestly, I think Cherry's a psychopath for inviting her.

Don't worry, mate. She won't show up.

She won't have the nerve.

So, Rodney, how do you know Cherry?

Work.

Malt loaf, anyone?

Er, no. Thanks though.

What is it that Cherry does again?

Works in A&E.

Oh, right.

You must have a lot of stories from working there, Rodney.

Oh, yes.

The things I see in reception...

All bound by patient confidentiality.

Er... Oh, that was the turn-in.

Was it? Oh, okay.

It's alright.

There's no one behind us, you can reverse.

Just...

Sorry.

One sec...

Rodney, do you mind just...

Well, this is fucking ridiculous.

They do open.

Make it hot

I'm gonna be clear

can stop me!

I'm gonna be clear

Can't stop me!

Careful! The tyres.

Watch them.

It's a Porsche, man.

Really?

The flight's gone and Maya says there's nothing else.

We need to clear the road.

Can you move your van, please?

Hey!

Hey!

Hey, hey!

What are you doing?

You can't just leave us here.

-Look what you've done. -Look what I've done?

Marcus, you were driving like a lunatic.

I'm sorry, was it me who was driving backwards?

Oh, this is typical of people like you.

People like me?

You were driving that stupid dildo 100 miles an hour.

I thought you were supposed to like dildos.

No need to simulate a dick when you're around.

You could've killed someone.

What if a postman was emptying that letter box?

-What? -Oh, of course

he doesn't care about killing a postman.

No, I don't care about killing random people you just made up.

While you're at it, why not invent

a school of children I could have run over, too?

Marcus, there's a school right there.

Well, they're behind a fence.

Okay, okay. Why don't you just exchange insurance details,

or whatever it is you need to do,

and let Addie and Deb and, er...

Rodney.

-Hi. -Hi.

Let them get on their way.

What are you talking about?

They made us miss our flight.

They can't just leave us here.

We're not taking you with us.

Yeah, don't worry. He's not serious.

No, no, no. I'm deadly serious.

What time are your flights?

You should give us your tickets. You're not essential guests.

You're basically wedding video extras.

Oh, we're not getting a flight. We're getting the ferry.

Ugh, gross. Why?

Because we have to offset the carbon footprint

of people like you.

Wait.

Mate, that can work.

If they give us a lift to the ferry,

we hire a car on the other side.

If we drive non-stop,

we can still make the wedding rehearsal dinner.

-Yes. -Oh, you're a ridiculous man.

Look, I know there's a lot of history here,

but you're gonna have to be together at the wedding anyway.

-Marcus-- -So just look,

Addie, you will take us with you, won't you?

-No. -I also vote no.

I need to be able to sleep horizontal across the seats.

Come on.

I guess we'll see you at the wedding, then,

if we make it.

You okay?

Yeah.

What happened between you two?

I know it was messy, but...

He ended it.

Okay.

Hey, hey!

Hey, hey!

The bride.

Cherry!

Oh, my God.

Marcus just told me what happened.

Are you... are you guys okay?

Yeah, no, we're fine. We're just a little bit shaken.

Okay. Thank God.

Marcus said his car is like totally fucked.

Listen, I wouldn't do this if it wasn't an emergency.

Cherry, no.

I'm desperate.

Krish keeps saying he's fine, but he's doing this

swim, jog, shower, repeat thing.

He really needs Dylan's listening ear and Marcus'...

Valium. You'd only have

to put up with him for a couple of hours, just to the ferry.

Well, they don't have tickets.

Well, I paid for one vehicle.

You can add extra passengers.

You don't have to do this.

Consider it a wedding present?

So why do you all hate each other?

You have arrived at your destination.

Ah, hi!

Hola!Um, I'm Addie.

I'm the housekeeper for the summer.

My Spanish is really bad.

Ah.

-Um... -Shhhhh...

Ah, happy!

I think so.

Really hope so.

Gracias.

So tell me, how was the trip?

-Yeah, yeah, it was really good. -And how's the place?

Look, it is massive!

Nice for the guests. Lots for you to clean.

Sorry, where... where are you?

Who is that?

I told you I had that date.

Yeah, that was like three days ago.

Mmm. What can I say? It's going very well.

Do you wanna see outside

This is the pool!

Ads, you're giving me motion sickness.

I mean, check out this view.

-Oh, my God. -It's amazing!

Yeah, yeah, that is lush.

Right?

And my room is gorgeous.

Okay.

Look...

Okay, this is cute.

In a "cupboard under the stairs" kind of way.

Oh, this will make you laugh.

"Danger, asbestos."

Hilarious.

Yeah, but what it actually is...

Wait. Is that...

Whoa, nice minibar.

Mmm-hmm. Yeah, right?

If I want a bill for my entire salary.

How much are they paying you again?

Er, an amount that is fair,

if you factor in the free accommodation.

-Ads... -It's not that bad,

and I only have to do the turnaround

between guests, and the rest of the week

it is hot girl summer, baby!

on the same line

from the same town

when it break down

'bout the same crime

when it rains now

where did it

Mmm... Uh, langosta...

or langosta.

You are not vegetarian, are you?

Er, I try to be, yeah.

But, um... it's cool. I'm cool.

I'm flexible.

Great!

Would you like to choose?

Oh.

Ooh... er... have you got one that's going to die soon anyway?

Like a... like a sick one or one that's really old?

Mmm...

Is something wrong?

Sorry.

Sorry. I guess I just find, er, excruciating death

a bit of a turn-off.

You know,

the French call the orgasm

"le petit mort",

the little death.

Well, that is what my orgasm sounds like, to be fair.

Suddenly, excruciating death doesn't seem so bad.

Is something funny?

I was just leaving.

This is a private conversation.

Buena suerte, wanker.

Addie?

Deb, I think someone's in the villa,

and, um, it's supposed to be empty till Monday.

What?

Addie?

I'm going up the stairs.

Why are you-- Are you sure that's a good idea?

Is someone there?

What's going on?

I don't know, okay?

Alright.

What can you see?

Hang on.

Ads?

Addie? Talk to me.

I'll call you back.

Hello?

You...

You, you, you, you were at the restaurant!

Did you follow me up here?

What? No! You drove right past me.

Thanks for the lift, by the way.

Thanks for laughing at me.

I was laughing at your joke.

It was funny.

Well, you... you ruined the whole date.

Oh, yeah, yeah, you guys were really clicking

before I got involved.

Look, do you mind if I get out?

I'm... I'm a bit exposed here.

No, not until you tell me what you're doing here.

Me? What are you doing here?

I'm the housekeeper.

You're the housekeeper?

Yes.

The last time I was here, it was this old Spanish woman.

I had a glow-up.

Right.

Fair warning, I'm... I'm gonna get out.

I don't want to force you

to see something you don't want to see.

Thank you.

I get enough of that on the apps.

If you do rob the place right now,

I'm gonna look really stupid.

Okay, this is a message from my friend Grace.

Her family own this place. See?

Read it for yourself.

"Of course you know where the key is."

You know, I was meant to have this place to myself this week.

I'll try and stay out of your way.

You won't even know I'm here.

Works for me.

I'm Dylan, by the way.

Addie.

I said, "Why do you all hate each other?"

We don't all hate each other.

I like Deb and I'm indifferent to you.

Addie and Dylan are exes.

Oh!

I would've guessed the opposite.

What, that they're together? That's depressing.

Oh.

That is how my parents behaved when they were together,

so yeah. Yeah, fair play.

Deb, have you got a paracetamol? I'm starting to get a headache.

No, I mean, I would've guessed

that you two were the exes.

No.

No, despite our obvious chemistry,

Deb and I never dated.

For one thing, Deb is gay.

Ooh, bi, actually, and I only date people with souls.

Interesting.

I would've guessed Addie was gay.

Okay, Rodney, we've established

you're not good at the guessing stuff.

Here.

Suit yourself.

Anyone for a car game?

Rodney, can we just get them to the ferry, please?

On Facebook, you said there'd be games.

Addie doesn't have Facebook.

Ah, right.

Chin up, mate. I'm blocked, too.

Yeah, don't worry, you're not missing much.

Mostly baby pictures.

-Baby pictures? -Hmm.

Oh, um...

Um, Addie's an aunt now, Dylan.

Oh, wow.

That's amazing, Deb.

Addie, I thought you'd tell me about something that massive.

Why would you think that?

We both agreed no contact.

I don't remember an actual discussion.

I know a game, Rodney.

How about two truths and a lie?

Addie, you'll be good at this.

-Marcus, don't. -What? I'm just saying.

I'm just saying Addie's a great liar.

-It's a compliment. -Pull over, Ads.

You'll fucking walk from here.

What, on the motorway?

What's he on about?

I think Dylan is the liar.

What? When have I ever lied?

When we first met.

Our whole relationship began with a lie.

Er, this is a bit cheeky,

but could I get a lift to the shops?

It's not really in my job description,

being a private chauffeur to guests.

Yeah, right. Sorry.

I'll walk.

But, er, lucky for you,

we've run out of coffee, and that is an emergency, so...

It didn't work out with that lobster guy, eh?

Nope.

Threw him back.

But it's OK. I'm actually having a hot girl summer.

-Oh, yeah? -Yeah, because it's my last

summer before I become a teacher.

And then after that, I have to be all like "shh!"

I don't know, that looks pretty hot to me.

What about you?

Have you got a girlfriend?

Er...

It's not a riddle.

No, I don't have a girlfriend.

I just walked the El Camino de Santiago solo.

No, it's...

I just needed some time alone to...

you know, work on myself.

So we both have summer jobs.

Yeah,

except mine doesn't pay.

So, no, I'm just bumming around

trying to figure out my life's meaning until I...

Max out your overdraft?

Yeah, I've been there.

I'd love to be a musician, but that doesn't pay either.

Really?

I'm going to teach music.

-No way! -Yeah.

I mean, you could always do that. You know what they say.

Those who can't afford to do...

teach.

Yeah.

Hey, so, I'm gonna pay for this,

and I'll just wait for you outside?

Oh, let me get those.

What? Why?

You paid for petrol.

Yeah, but, like, like,

I'm here working and you're broke,

and I just... I feel bad.

Right.

Sorry.

Sorry, I didn't mean to... Er, um...

Okay, how about you can pay for one item?

Lucky dip.

-Okay. -Yeah?

Yeah.

-Mmm. -Erm...

"Copa menstrual".

Amazing!

Oh, sorry!

No, no. That's the most expensive thing in there.

Don't back up now.

Ka-ching!

Thank you.

Oh.

You want to drive back by the river?

Is it a shortcut?

No, it's a tiny bit longer, but a lot more beautiful.

I mean, only if you want, we can...

We can be quick if you need to.

No, no. I'm not doing anything.

You did not fancy your music teacher!

No one played recorder like Mrs Samson.

Even now, when I hear Three Blind Mice,

I go weak at the knees.

But I blew it.

I gave her nits.

Oh! Yeah, we do famously hate that.

Er, anyway, I'd better go

because I'm not supposed to fraternise with the guests.

Well, technically, I'm not a guest.

Do you fancy a drink?

Yeah.

-Oh. -Depends on what we're drinking.

Er...

Well, I only know how to make three things.

- Three? - Yeah.

We're in Spain.

How can you not have any ham?

Addie, this is my friend Marcus.

Hi.

Hey.

I thought you lot weren't arriving for another three days.

Well, I took a cab.

Oh!

Can't be arsed with hiking and camping.

It's hot, it's boring,

and do you know what I've decided? It's pretentious.

We're a bunch of rich kids

depriving ourselves on purpose just to feel something.

You know, the other day there were Spanish people

actually working by the side of the road

while Cherry was crooning about

"Oh, fresh air nourishes the soul. Oh."

Or something like that. I don't know.

People's opinions tend to wash over me. Pistachio?

Er, Marcus is my friend from, well...

Er, he's...

Pretty much since birth.

Marcus, this is Addie.

Addie.

Encantado.

Now, has Dylan slept with you yet?

Only we operate on a first-come-first-serve--

-Fuck you! -I'm joking! Joking!

No, sorry. I like to find the elephant in the room,

and...

...dispatch it, right away.

I find it much better for everyone in the long run.

Now, who wants wine?

Er, you... You went into my room.

Well, I had to, to get to the wine cellar.

It's not like I went through your underwear drawer.

Well, your bra was on the bed so it wasn't necessary.

Er, if wine goes missing from the cellar,

who do you think they're gonna blame?

-Wait, are you the housekeeper? -Yeah.

Oh, mate.

It's like a bad porno.

Yeah.

To think it was almost a good one.

And then you showed up.

Well, I'm gonna make a start on the Rioja.

No, you're not.

It's fine.

We're friends with Grace. It's not like you taking it.

But they will take it out of my salary.

Calm down.

It's only 300 quid or whatever.

Dylan will cover it. He's loaded.

Oh, mate.

You haven't been doing the penniless artist routine again,

have you?

See, Dylan likes women to think he's actually cool.

I bet he didn't mention the six-figure job

at his dad's firm waiting for him when he gets home.

You have a job?

I thought you said you were just figuring things out.

No, I mean, yes, but...

I'm not going to take it. I'm just...

Oops.

Addie, hang on.

What?

all that I hear about you

begin to unlock

right under the blue

"I'm really sorry I misrepresented myself.

"That said, it can be a handy talent.

"Half the bottles in that cellar

"are pretending to be something they're not.

"Cheers."

around you

Hey, I just wanted to...

Oh, er...

This is Addie, the, er...

Housekeeper.

Right.

Addie, this is Grace, my...

Girlfriend.

We made it.

Thank fuck for that.

Please remain in your vehicles

until departure.

Oh, we have to stay here?

So, how's teaching going, Addie?

Right. No contact. Sorry.

Fuck. It's my dad calling. He never calls.

He must've found out about the... car.

And repress.

What do you teach, Addie?

I don't. I quit.

Oh.

You quit teaching?

-Why? You were so good at it. -It doesn't matter.

This is fucking pathetic.

What?

Dylan's been a complete simp this whole journey,

and she's still being horrible to him.

Just leave it, Marcus.

Why are you sticking up for her?

She ruined your fucking life.

Oh! She ruined his life.

That is twisted. It's the other way around.

You might buy the victim act, Deb,

but I don't.

Right. That is it!

I can't be around you for one more second.

I spent all day with you,

and the highlight was a car crash.

Oh, you think this is funny? You entitled prick!

Addie?

-We're meant to stay in the van. -Addie!

You're not seriously going after her?

Addie, we need to talk.

Don't defend him. I can't deal with another one

of your speeches about how he's really not that bad.

I wasn't going to! Jesus, Addie,

not all of us can just write people off like you can.

What does that mean?

You know exactly what it means.

The second we broke up,

you blocked me on everything.

Like I was nothing.

You know, I was actually looking forward

to seeing you at this wedding.

I thought things might have changed.

I thought you might actually want to talk

about how things ended between us.

But no, you're just the same old Addie.

Not the same old Addie.

What do you mean?

Nothing. Nothing.

Why did Deb say I ruined your life?

Because that's not how I remember it.

In fact, I remember the complete fucking opposite.

Goodbye, Dylan.

Right, that's it then, is it? Bon voyage.

See you on the other fucking side.

What do you want me to stay for, Dylan?

I still care...

I still care about you, Addie.

Even after everything that happened,

I still care.

Okay, so what do you want to do then?

Pretend to be strangers?

Pretend like our whole relationship never happened?

Yes, Dylan, that is exactly what I am trying to do.

I want to forget everything. I want to forget I ever met you.

We will shortly be arriving in Santander.

Foot passengers, please prepare to disembark first.

See you.

Driving licence?

My dad left a voice mail.

Sir, this licence has been flagged

by our insurance partners.

Has the driver been involved in any traffic incidents

in the last 12 months?

Er, in the last 12 months?

I don't think so.

"What happened to the Porsche?" What about me?

I was in a car crash!

We won't be able to rent to you today.

Just find my wallet.

Definitely packed it.

In the dashboard before...

No, I do not need a lesson

in respecting the value of property!

Look, it's the lads!

Maybe something's wrong.

We can't just drive past them.

Dylan's the best man.

It's up to you, Addie.

Fine.

What's going on.

They won't give us a car.

Why?

Because, Deb, they are... fascists!

If you leave us here, we'll die.

We could call Grace.

She's driving down from Marseilles.

-Okay, You do that. -No, no, no, wait!

That's a massive diverge.

We'll all miss the rehearsal dinner.

We could just leave him here.

I never thought I'd say this,

but great to see you again, Rodney.

-Hungry? -No.

Who's Grace?

Is she the reason why you left Addie?

-Why I left Addie? -Yeah.

Without so much as a goodbye.

You know it was me who had to pick up the pieces,

so excuse me if I'm a little protective.

Addie broke up with me.

What?

Buckle up, everyone.

like a tingling

Green on my feet

like a trampoline

Shoes off my feet

in black and white