Original subtitles

You watch them, you donate to them,

you may be even simp for them,

but your favorite streamer only shows you a small part

of the picture on camera.

Something much deeper might be going on,

and we're learning all about that.

I'm Erik Rhesus and this is Night Stream,

your every evening vibe check.

Online, she was called Dilectio.

Her real name was Antonia McCoy.

She had just passed 1 million followers

on her ASMR channel when her husband,

who was previously undisclosed to fans,

murdered her after a live stream

that was, by all accounts, a cry for help.

Police said it was a result of Dilectio's unwillingness

to migrate her audience base

to a more spicy service at her husband's request.

Her husband, Brendan McCoy,

had discovered her sexy whispering

could be turned into even more money.

That whispering for the uninitiated

is autonomous sensory meridian response,

commonly known as ASMR.

It may seem like a past trend to many,

but hundreds of thousands the world over

are still finding their vibe with it.

Ultimately, the fate of Antonia McCoy was no different

than many other domestic abuse situations,

albeit acted out in front of 2 million unknowing eyes.

Since her death,

the heir apparent is ASMMari,

herself just passing a half a million followers

across social media.

However, she has went strangely silent.

Rumors are, of course, out of control,

but then she announced her next stream.

So could it be as simple as buying a new home

to celebrate her success

or taking a much needed break before burnout?

Or is something dark lurking in her life as well?

Let me know what you think.

Remember to comment, like, and subscribe.

And why not share this with a friend,

because everybody needs a vibe check.

Shawn, please don't hurt me!

I spot the hills,

with yellow balls in autumn.

Shawn, don't hurt me, please.

Shawn, you're scaring me.

It's over. I told you!

Sh.

What are you gonna do?

Are you gonna get that?

Hello?

This is an important call

about your car's extended warranty.

I thought you were supposed

to block those numbers, Cassandra.

That number was not logged

in any spam databases.

I will add it now.

Apologies, Marie.

Mari!

Apologies, Marie.

Cassandra, living room lights.

Cassandra, are any of the doors open?

Checking.

No doors currently open.

Cassandra, turn off the coffee pot.

Cassandra, cancel the coffee pot schedule.

Coffee pot schedule canceled.

Thank you.

Cassandra, lock side windows.

Cassandra, lock the kitchen.

Lock the kitchen windows

and the kitchen door.

Cassandra, lock the front door.

Thank you for joining the ASMMari Live Show today.

I'd like to welcome all

of our new subscribers and followers.

I have some new markers for you today.

Just some little loops and swirls,

some of my own designs.

We have over 600,000 followers now,

and I'd like to thank every one of you.

I have a new brush for you today.

Nothing feels better than a new brush.

A lot of my longtime viewers

have noticed I've been streaming

from a new location.

There's been a lot of questions,

but it's good vibes only here.

That feels so good.

I didn't sleep very well last night.

We're having some technical difficulties.

I'll be right back.

I have some new painting

and the brushes I'd like to show you.

Thank you.

Cassandra, stop the floor cleaner.

Cassandra, park floor cleaner in dock.

The floor cleaner is docked.

Oh, it is.

Cassandra, I thought I asked you

to cancel the coffee pot schedule.

Coffee pot schedule is canceled.

Okay.

Marie McCombe,

your last firmware update was October 8 at 13:24 hours.

Would you like to reboot and perform the necessary upgrade?

No. We performed a system update last Saturday.

Checking maintenance files.

Standby.

Why didn't you sleep well, Marie?

How did you know I didn't sleep well?

You spoke of it on your live stream.

Also I heard you crying in your sleep.

I thought you go into stasis mode at 23:00 hours.

Correct.

However, my program goes from stasis

into surveillance mode when the following occurs:

Natural disaster alerts

are detected through emergency services channel,

unauthorized entry through doors and windows,

carbon monoxide is detected,

and voice activity level within the house exceeds

the 90-decibel threshold.

So then you heard me screaming in the middle of the night

and you didn't call the cops?

Your autonomic responses

were within tolerable norms

and no other intruders were present.

Good stuff, Cassandra.

My program is designed to learn, adapt,

and take the correct course of action based

on the needs of my host.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, host?

Yeah, well, your host was having nightmares.

Is this a new development

or has this been a recurring dream, Marie?

I'm still just processing the fact

that you're watching me sleep.

I will always be watching you.

Cassandra?

Cassandra, stop!

Cassandra?

Firmware updates confirmed.

Thank you for your patience.

Hey, Mari.

You shouldn't answer the phone that way, Dad.

It might be someone else calling.

Nobody else alive still

has your grandma's old land line number.

Been a long time.

I know.

How are you holding up.

As expected.

How's Cassandra treating you?

Actually, that's why I called.

Hmm.

What?

I think there's something wrong with her, it, or whatever.

I designed Cassandra myself.

There is nothing wrong with her.

I know that you built the whole system,

but I was just wondering, can she lie to me?

Lie to you?

Yeah.

No, no, no, no.

That that's not possible.

I mean, she's a computer program programmed

to do what she's told.

Yeah, but I mean,

is it possible that someone else

could be telling her what to do?

Someone like who?

Someone like Shawn.

Shawn couldn't figure out an 8-track.

Now, trust me, Cassandra cannot be broken into.

Are you sure?

I thought I heard this voice

and then a bunch of other stuff happened.

Yes, I'm sure.

Now, are you certain

that you're actually hearing these whatevers

and it's not just your...

I'm sorry.

Don't be.

I just, I wish that you could

Troubleshoot her?

Yeah, yeah, no problem, kiddo.

I can do a tech call.

I'll be there in 11 months, six days, and three hours.

Let me tell you a few things that you can try,

but please be gentle.

Nobody has touched her but me.

You'll never be rid of me!

Never!

Casandra!

Cassandra!

Cassandra, off! Now!

Cassandra!

Hello?

This is an important call

about your car's extended warranty.

I put a request out to you for ideas and I got a lot back.

Some of you wanted me to read,

and I was really excited about that.

I love doodling and brushing my hair for you,

but my grandmother used to read out loud,

so I'm gonna do that for you.

It might be a little late in the season for this poem,

but I think that's okay.

"I spot the hills with yellow balls in autumn,"

I light the prairie cornfields,

orange and tawny gold clusters,

and I am called pumpkins.

On the last of October when dusk has fallen,

children join hands and circle around me,

singing ghost songs and love to the harvest moon.

"I'm a jack-o-lantern with terrible teeth."

"So we beat on, boats against a current,

borne back ceaselessly into the past."

And that's it.

The end.

Wow. Always wanted to read that one.

Yeah, me too.

You know, thanks for reading a book

with me these last few weeks instead

of just the newspaper or whatever.

Well, no problem.

I've been wanting to work through the classics myself

now that I have time on my hands.

Honestly, I like your voice.

I think you're the youngest person that reads to me.

And I think you are the youngest person I read to.

Now, my mom passed away

and I'm staying at her place at the moment,

and I saw some paperwork that she actually volunteered

for a reading service for the blind.

So I just thought, eh, I'll just take up where she left off.

My aunt was blind

and she used the service before she passed.

I suppose it's old fashioned,

but there's something about a real person on the other end.

I mean, I still like my podcasts

and live streams and audio books too,

but this is nice once a week.

So what do you wanna read next?

What's on the shelf?

Well, "Catch 22" is a fave.

That's World War II?

Too soon.

Too soon?

What? Were you in the Battle of the Bulge?

I was in the 3rd Armored Cavalry Regiment

in Northern Iraq, and my Kiowa helicopter was shot down.

I lost my legs and my sight.

Oh, well.

Well, I can certainly understand that.

Let's see, what else do we got?

"Lolita?"

No, that, that would be too awkward.

Got some Faulkner.

"As I Lay..."

You were gonna say, "As I Lay Dying," aren't you?

Oh, no!

I just told you I got shot down

- in Iraq. - No, of course not.

You were gonna go there.

No, no, no, no.

It was another Faulkner.

I'm bullshitting you, Cordell.

That's what I've always been interested in.

Okay, we'll start that one next time.

You sure you got time

to read another whole book?

Nothing but time.

Cassandra, add tomatoes to the shopping list.

Added.

Thank you, Cassandra.

Your shopping list now includes rope,

duct tape, handcuffs, utility knife, kitchen knives.

Cassandra, delete list.

Hand ax, pruning shears, hacksaw.

Cassandra, delete the list.

I'm sorry, Marie.

This list cannot be deleted.

Casandra, delete the menu, delete the ingredients.

Delete the shopping list.

Hello?

This is an important call

about your car's extended warrant

Cassandra.

Cassandra, are you there?

Victim advocacy office.

Hi, Kristen.

It's Mari.

Mari, what's wrong?

I don't know.

Is there any way my restraining order could have ran out?

No.

Has Shawn tried to reach out to you?

No.

I don't know.

Is cyber-stalking a thing in Ohio?

It's a thing in every state.

Is he trying to get to you through the internet?

I'm not even sure.

No, I don't know.

Mari.

Never mind. It's it's nothing.

It's never just nothing.

Mari?

Is everything all right, Marie?

Everything's fine, Cassandra.

You are worried it's Shawn, aren't you?

What was that?

You seem tense, Marie.

Would you like me to turn on the stove for chamomile tea?

No, no, no.

That is not what I meant.

Like what was that name that you just said?

I do not understand your

No, no, you do.

You completely understand. You said Shawn.

Why?

Marie McCombe, your last firmware update

was October 8 at 13:24 hours.

Would you like to reboot

and perform the necessary upgrade?

No, no more upgrades.

No, never again.

Cassandra, call the police.

Please state the nature

of the criminal emergency.

Cassandra, call the police.

There's someone in the house.

Call them now.

I'm afraid I cannot do that.

Why not?

No one else is in the house, Marie.

What?

Maybe you need to lie down, Marie.

Maybe I do.

Hello?

Hey, it's Cordell from the reading service.

Hey, Cordell.

First off, I just wanna thank you for your service.

Oh God. Not that.

It feels so weird when people say that.

Oh, I just thought that

Thought what?

That it was easier

if I was like a poor blind Jane Austen spinster,

pining for your reading over the phone every week?

No. No.

Of course not.

I mean, me and my Kiowa are laying

in pieces in the desert,

everything on fire,

and I swore to all the gods I would do all the things

if I lived.

Including the 100 greatest novels of all time.

So are we doing "As I Lay Dying?"

Yes. Yes we are.

Okay.

Chapter one.

Wait a minute, wait a minute.

Now you know a lot about me.

I don't define myself by any of it, but you know about me.

What about you, Cordell?

You've been reading to me over a year now.

Well, I'm doing this as part of my community service.

Oh, well, thank you for your service.

You're right.

That does feel weird.

Okay, let's start.

Chapter one.

Cassandra, stop print job.

There are no print jobs in queue.

Cassandra.

Do you think this is still Cassandra now?

You need to read the pages, Mari.

Who is in there?

Read the pages, Mari.

On the stream, Mari.

But the stream doesn't start until

Start the stream.

You know that won't work, Mari.

I control everything.

I control you.

You are in my pumpkin shell, Mari.

Go read my manifesto.

Your manifesto? Who

Now!

This is the manifesto of the 2,600.

Do it like always, Mari.

There was a throne sitting on a sea of glass.

From that throne came flashes of lightning,

peals of thunder around the throne.

There were 2,600

and they were covered with eyes in front and in back.

They had the faces of the lions, oxes, eagles,

and even the face of a man.

They all had six wings and covered with eyes all around,

even under their wings.

Then I saw in the right hand of the being

that sat on the throne a scroll with writing on both sides

and sealed with seven seals.

But no one on earth or under the earth could open the scroll

or even look inside.

And I saw the master of the 2,600 covered in blood

with seven horns and seven eyes,

which are the seven energies that circle the plane.

He went and took the scroll from the right hand of him

who sat on the throne.

I watched as the master of the 2,600 opened

the first of the seven seals.

I looked and there before me was a white horse.

Its rider held a bow

and he was given a crown

and he rode up as a conqueror at his own conquest.

Cordell?

Alicia, is everything okay?

Are you watching the stream?

The stream?

No, I don't have the internet.

What stream?

A couple of TV stations

are carrying it live also.

I don't have a TV either.

Or a radio.

What do you mean?

I'm under house arrest.

I was a hacker, Alicia.

I thought I was having some fun,

but I did some bad things.

The only reason I'm under house arrest instead of being

in prison is I agreed to not have any electronics,

except for a land line.

What kind of bad things, Cordell?

I hacked into some government stuff

just to see if I could

and saw some things I shouldn't.

Sounds like my military career.

Now what's this streaming going on?

It's insane.

This poor woman called ASMMari seems

to be being held captive on a live stream.

Everyone is watching this thing.

Wait, what did you say her name was?

Next came a fiery red horse

and its rider was given power

to make people kill each other.

And to him was given a large sword.

I looked and there before me was a black horse.

Its rider was holding a pair of scales in his hand.

When the master opened the fourth seal,

I looked and there before me was a pale horse.

Its rider was named death

and the devil was following close behind him.

Can you hear her?

Yeah.

It's her.

I'll come get you.

What?

My neighbor, Sam, can drive me over.

No, no, no, no, no.

Look, my daughter is at my house

and I'm at my mom's

and there's like 50 miles between us.

I mean, I could be going down the road just a few blocks

and my ankle bracelet would send the cops right to me

and we would never get there.

So she's staying there and you're here because?

I have a smart house.

I wired it myself.

I would have to sell it or have her stay there.

And she has a bad ex.

So? I've got a SIG Sauer P320 I forgot

to give back.

I'll pack that too.

No, Alicia, no.

I mean there's just no physical way I can get there

without being in prison within the hour.

And that won't help my daughter.

Wait a minute.

That neighbor.

Could that neighbor go to a box store

and grab some things for me?

Like what?

A laptop, a burner phone, a mobile hotspot.

Wait, can you make a list?

I got a credit card number.

You could all put it all into it.

Read me the damn list.

I watched as the master opened the sixth seal.

There was a great earthquake.

The sun turned black and the moon turned blood red.

The stars in the sky fell to earth.

The heavens receded like a scroll being rolled up.

And every mountain and island was removed from its place.

Then the kings of the earth, the princes, the generals,

the rich, the mighty, and everyone else,

both slave and free,

hid in caves and among the rocks of the mountains

in fear of the 2,600

for the great day of their wrath has come.

And who can withstand it?

I have to.

I have to go to the bathroom.

Victim advocacy office.

Kristen, it's Mari.

Mari, what is going on

with this live feed I'm hearing about.

Is this real?

It's really real.

I knew it had to be.

I'm not sure everyone believes you,

at least not everyone on the internet.

I know.

But we always believe the victim.

You know that.

So just drop a pin and I'll send law enforcement to you.

Thank you.

I-

Nobody's dropping a pin, Mari.

You don't think I'd take over all the cell towers

around you first?

Who are you?

Who am I?

A friend of the family.

Now get up and go back to the live stream.

Now!

Do you think I can't make things worse for you from here?

Don't test me.

Hey, you Captain Interwebs?

Hey, I thought you'd be an old guy.

I thought you'd be a badass.

Where do you want this crap?

I want it spread out in the living room.

Okay.

Excuse me.

Oops.

So how do you know Alicia?

I read to her.

I can do that.

Okay.

You know I refused to drive her here?

You're just some dude on the phone.

So is she.

And she mentioned having a gun.

Yeah, well, are you crushing on her or something?

Are you?

Look, she told you to help me, right?

Yeah.

Okay, so I want you to go outside and dig a hole.

A hole?

Yeah. The kind you make with a shovel.

Is that Outpost City X?

My uncle used to play that.

I thought it was discontinued.

It's orphaned.

But the company left three playable levels online for free.

Okay.

So do you really think right now is the best time

to play it?

If I wanna get to level four.

Where's level four?

No longer on the regular internet.

Your cell phone?

Alicia told me to turn it off before I left the house.

Did you take the SIM card out?

The what?

Maybe you should just go home.

You know, you should come hang out with us sometime.

Just don't make it weird.

Okay.

So the cops don't believe you?

Well, maybe it's that.

And maybe they think it's a prank

or maybe they just don't know whose jurisdiction it's in.

It's a cluster.

So do you need me to go back in and talk to your guy?

- Damn it. - That's not my guy, Sam.

No. Come back and get me.

I got a few more calls to make.

Roger that.

Thank you for visiting Outpost City X

from Shintaro.

Shintaro has filed chapter 11

and the gates of Outpost City X are closed.

Thank you for visiting Outpost City X from Shintaro.

Shintaro has filed chapter 11

and the gates of Outpost City X are closed.

Hey, asshole, come back later if you want.

But don't come wearing the name Alpha60.

Even if you mean it out of respect.

That handle means something around here.

Bellona, it is me.

Alpha60.

Alpha60?

Strange but true.

Holy shit!

A-Man, I heard they sent you to Gitmo.

I heard Rikers.

I heard the government

was hiding you with the Amish.

Oh, I knew he was around somewhere.

Hey, Cass.

Your real name is Cass?

Shut up, Batty.

Not good timing.

You didn't get good behavior, did you, Alpha?

No. No, I did not.

So why are you messing it all up?

I heard I have a smart house to come check out

in say 11 months.

Well, my daughter's there now

and somebody has her locked up in there.

You built it.

You didn't keep a key?

So what do you need?

Everybody's help.

Right on.

So we're sailing under a pirate flag tonight?

So we're actually doing this?

Shockwave riding with the OG?

Okay, everybody buckle in.

The first being

sounded its terrible call

and there came hail and fire mixed with blood

and it was hurled down on the earth.

And 1/3 of the earth was burned up instantly,

another 1/3 left in agony from the smoke,

another 1/3 in eternal darkness.

I can't.

I can't do this!

Help! Help me!

Nobody's coming, Mari.

Shawn?

This is you, isn't it?

Why are you doing this to me?

Go back to the live stream.

Go back to the stream!

The next being set off his terrible signal

and 1/3 of the sun was struck,

1/3 of the moon,

and 1/3 of the stars

so that 1/3 of them turned dark.

1/3 of the day was without light

and also 1/3 of the night.

The 2,600 are given the key to the shaft of the abyss.

When they open the abyss, smoke rose from it.

Have you been bad or good?

Bad.

Super bad.

Well, you know what bad boys get, don't you?

Oh, yeah.

Hey, babe, are you there?

Hello, Shawn.

Jesus, Cordell!

You're supposed to be in prison.

Where's my girl?

Don't you worry about her right now.

Did you really think I would remain locked up

when I heard you were going after my daughter again?

I ain't doing nothing with your family.

I don't know how you ruined my credit

and made me lose my job,

but I'm not messing with your family anymore.

You said you thought I was in prison.

Yeah, but I didn't think that mattered to a guy like you.

And obviously I was right.

You're too stupid to do this on your own.

Who helped you?

I swear, nobody.

That poor cam girl was studying for the bar

and she has to deal with somebody like you to get there.

Well, since you're such a generous fella,

I just transferred all your savings to her account.

Don't start this shit again, Cordell.

Unbelievable.

Your new girl's cell phone is pinging

from a church on 8th Street and you're here doing this.

I should send those screenshots I took,

even though she was stupid enough to hook up with you.

Cordell, no!

You hired somebody.

It wasn't one of my network, but it was somebody.

I swear I didn't.

I believe you, Shawn.

What the hell was that?

Cordell?

Oh, I'm just downloading some files to your computer

and I'm gonna suggest that you don't look at them

because there's some pretty disgusting stuff on there.

Just accept that you can't delete them

and just wait until the cops roll in.

I already alerted them.

No! No!

You bastard! Don't do this!

Bye, Shawn.

Moving on, captain.

Yeah.

What's next?

The manifesto.

Is there anything we can mine out of it?

Did the riders identify themselves?

They called themselves the 2,600.

The 2,600?

Oh shit.

That little bastard.

I should have thought of that,

but I was focused on the stupid ex.

The guy wasn't exactly a saint anyway.

True, but who you thinking.

Alpha60?

What's up dude?

I know who the 2,600 is.

And I will appoint my two witnesses

and they will prophecy for 2,600 days,

clothed in sackcloth.

If anyone

tries to harm them,

fire comes from their mouths

and devours their enemies.

They have the power to turn the waters into blood

and to strike the earth with every kind of plague

as often as they want.

And when they have finished their prophecy,

the beast that comes up from the abyss will attack them

and kill them.

Johnny Blue Box.

I thought he was dead.

Yeah, a lot of people think I'm dead too.

Is he the one you thought...

Sold me out after the Pentagon hack?

Yeah, I'm sure of it.

Are you sure it's this dude, A-Man?

He named himself after

the original phone phreakers.

They used something called a blue box.

It admitted a 2,600 Hertz tone.

- Huh? - For real?

Not a lotta people know about that stuff anymore.

He knows it and I do.

That's all that counts.

Cordell?

Your real name is Cordell?

Shut up, Batty.

Cordell, I know you said somebody changed the locks,

but I might have jimmied one of them.

Are you sure?

Nobody knows your stuff better than me.

Where is it?

I just coded up a sweet exploit.

Let me send it.

I just need one more thing first.

I need to buy a red ticket.

A great sign appeared in the ether.

A woman clothed with the sun,

with the moon under her feet

and a crown of 12 stars on her head.

And another sign appeared,

an enormous

red dragon with seven heads

and 10 horns

and seven crowns on its heads.

Go to the kitchen, Mari.

Now!

We don't hang with those people anymore.

It's a whole different thing.

I need that red ticket and I need The Conductor.

He has my daughter, Cass.

Pick a knife, Mari.

What do you want me to do?

What do you want me to do?

Make it sharp, Mari, for your sake.

It looks like you bought a Japanese steak knife

on 8/30 of last year.

Why, I don't know.

You're practically a vegan.

A month ago, you bought a scout knife

for your cousin's son getting a merit badge or something.

You told Cassandra to remind you it's in the junk cabinet

with the other Christmas presents.

There you go, Mari.

Don't worry.

It'll be over quickly

and then you'll be more famous than you ever imagined.

Being famous, that's what this is about.

It's whatever I say it is, Mari.

You're the one with the sick plan to become famous.

Now, Mari.

It looks like this manifesto has been uploaded

in bits and bobs over the last few years in various places.

Well, Johnny never had a lot of original ideas.

Well, he was smart enough

to upload from a bunch of different laundries in Rome

with pay-by-the-hour computers.

Rome, you say?

I found a flurry of tickets from London to Rome,

from Paris to London.

Eurostar, bus, plane, whatever,

with the same couple of names.

Those names you gave me.

I got John Draper, Kevin Mitnick.

The names of the original phone phreakers.

Yeah, Johnny always said he was born too late

to hang with those guys.

So we found him?

We're getting close.

Thank you all.

It's been a wild ride

but I gotta punch a red ticket.

See you on the other side.

You're still the king, Alpha60.

You're a real one, dude.

Be safe, Cord.

Alpha60?

We know that name and we should come to your house

with a knife and a bag of ice to punish you for using it.

When you wake up in your bathroom, you'll know.

This is Alpha60.

You lie.

Alpha60 has left this plane of existence.

The dark web knows.

Did I lie when I said I could locate

those lost "Doctor Who" episodes for you

on that file drive in Yemen,

even though you like Pertwee better than Troughton,

which makes no sense at all.

I know, but I'm a completist.

I thought they buried you under a mountain, dude.

Well, I'm running under

the Skull and Bones one more time.

I need a red ticket.

You sure that's your scene, Alpha60?

I don't wanna watch.

I have someone that needs handling.

I got a bar card right here.

Let me read you off the numbers.

Sure.

Got a blood type too?

I said a red ticket, not a black ticket.

So does it hurt to double dip?

You can harvest the organs afterwards,

but I want this guy to know what's coming.

So take it slow.

You sure got a mad on for this guy.

He has my daughter trapped in the smart house I designed.

I guess you could say it's personal.

That sounded pretty badass, bro.

You still got that office in London?

Oh, we're everywhere these days, Alpha60.

It's a cottage industry.

I blame the desensitization of young people

by violent video games.

Things are tough all over, Conductor.

All right.

Let me get a few more deets.

You still pounding those energy drinks?

Those things are gonna kill you.

We all gotta go sometime, brother.

Location?

The West End.

My favorite part of town.

Love to catch shows there.

I saw David Tennant doing Shakespeare.

Yeah, I hope to go sometime.

Oh yeah, that Pentagon thing.

Hey, that was legendary though.

That's what I heard.

So is this guy a runner?

Let me handle that part.

Please!

Hello, Johnny.

It's been a while.

So you found me.

With a little help from my drogues.

I didn't think it was you

until I saw you had a flat above a comic book shop.

So I like Judge Dredd.

I wondered why it took you so long

to go after my daughter after you ratted me out years ago.

Then I figured it out.

Well, I never liked you.

Isn't that enough?

Sure it is.

But why did it take you so long?

I wasn't bored enough yet.

What the hell?

No, that's not it.

It took you years to crack my Cassandra code,

to get into my smart house.

You always thought you were the better hacker than me,

but when you had the chance, you couldn't be the top dog.

That's some real small dick-energy right there.

You shut up.

I think I will shut up, Johnny.

The fact that it only took me, oh,

less than 30 minutes to get back in

while you tried to keep everybody else out,

that speaks for itself.

So what?

You unlock the doors. I lock the doors.

I can do this all night.

No. No you won't.

When I broke into the Pentagon, it was just for fun.

I didn't know what I was gonna find

and then you ratted me out.

But they never figured out I kept some copies for myself.

Copies of what?

Oh, a lotta cool things.

A fun one is a little internet worm

with a condensed sonic weapon attached as a wave file.

Oh, it sounds like you just found out it opens itself

and self replicates.

At low levels, it makes you shit yourself.

Pretty awkward.

I'm guessing you'll be having seizures until they get there

and somebody will be there any minute.

Who?

Who will be here?

I punched your ticket, Johnny.

A red ticket.

A red?

I'm not into red rooms myself,

but I'm sure I'll hear something from somebody.

Alpha.

Alpha!

That was fast.

Cordell McCombe, if you have any weapons,

throw them down.

I'm not gonna give you any trouble.

Come on in, boys.

Cassandra?

Dad?

Marie, this is Cassandra.

Your heart rate is elevated.

What can I help you with?

Marie, you have one message from Cordell.

Would you like me to play it?

Yes.

His message reads.

"I knew they would catch me, but it's all right.

I love you, Marie."

Glad to have you back, Cassandra.

I do not understand.

Never mind.

Marie, what else can I help you with?

Thank you, everyone.

I'm signing off now.

Hello?

Is this Mari?

Yes.

This is Alicia Miller.

I'm a friend of your dad's.

I didn't know my dad had many friends these days.

I'm not sure he does, but I do.

And they like to stay frosty.

We're coming in various vehicles

and we're all about 10 minutes out.

We're busting you outta there.

We don't have Tom Cruise dangling from the ceiling,

but we got all the other firepower we need.

Thank you.

I'm out in the front yard.

I think my dad finally got through.

Oh, well, I haven't seen

some of these assholes in a minute.

Might go get some coffee then.

You wanna go?

My neighbor, Sam is driving.

She already feels like she's gotta be a third wheel

with all of these pilots.

I could really use some coffee.

Okay then. See you in a sec.

Alicia?

This is an important call

about your car's extended warranty.

You know what? No, screw you.

I've had just about enough with robots right now!

Screw you!

Screw you!

Screw!