All language subtitles for Columbo.Columbo.Likes.The.Nightlife.2003.720p.WEBRip.x264.AAC-[YTS.MX].en

[♪ POUNDING RAVE MUSIC]

- Very nice, it's very nice.
- Yeah?

Eight years I've had
this place in my head.

I could tell.

What's with the hole,
though?

Well, I didn't think we could have
a nightclub called The Bait without any fish.

- [CHUCKLES] So, it's a fish tank?
- Yeah.

I'm gonna drop 300 gallons
of water in there

and light it from underneath.
I think it'll look good.

When are you thinking
about opening up?

- That depends.
- That depends on what?

- The money.
- The money? You're waiting, right?

[SIGHS] Look,
I gotta tell you, Tone,

I've been
coming up short...

well, for the last
two months now.

I mean, half this place is
paid for on credit, and...

before I open those doors,
I really need to pay some bills.

Well, then, you'll be very happy
to know it's all been arranged.

- No joke?
- Oh, no joke.

You'll have the money
within 36 hours.

Ah, m--

Y-- You're not
kidding with me?

- I'm there.
- Ah, man, that's insane.

"Do business
with the best."

That's what
my father taught me.

You are not
gonna be disappointed.

Please don't.

Good. I gotta go.

Maybe I'll make that warehouse gig
you're promoting tonight.

Okay. Excellent.

Knock it out.
Fish!

- [KNOCKING]
- [SOFTLY] All right.

Hey, baby.

You don't look
so happy to see me.

What do you want, Tony?

I was in the neighborhood.
I figured I'd stop by

and, uh, see how you're
spending your alimony.

I bought this place with my money,
thank you very much.

Maybe so, but without my money,
you wouldn't be able to keep it,

'cause I read somewhere
about that sitcom of yours,

it got canceled, huh?
After only six episodes.

What a shame.

Tony, I want you to leave.

[SOFTLY]
Here's the pool.

I figured I'd come by...

you know,
catch up on some old times.

Look at you, huh?
How long has it been?

Gosh, it's been at least, what?
Yeah, six months, huh?

Stop it!

Ah, you're so sweet.
Look at you.

So beautiful.
Mm-mm-mmm!

What the hell is this?

What, does this...
come with the frame now?

Just give it back to me.

Don't tell me you're
sleeping with this kid.

That's none
of your business.

It has nothing to do with you,
Tony, okay?

This has nothing
to do with me?

This has nothing
to do with me?!

What, did you meet him
through a singles ad, is that it?

- Please, Tony, just leave, okay?
- You went after him, didn't you?

- You set your sights just to spite me.
- I didn't.

Eh, look.
Didn't you?

- Tell me right now, you little whore.
- I didn't.

Stop it!

- Did you?! Lookit!
- [SCREAMS]

- [YELLING]
- [SCREAMS]

- [LOUD THUD]
- [GLASS SHATTERING]

[PANTING]

Tony, get up.

Tony.

Tony?

Tony!

Tony!

[TOUCHTONE BUTTONS BEEPING]

It's me.

Something's happened.

No, you need to come
over here right now.

No, I'm telling you,
you have to come over here right now!

Ness?

Where's Tony?

Babe, what's wrong?

He...

Um...
[SNIFFLES]

he just saw
a picture of us,

and I told you how jealous
he could be.

And he just tripped and fell.
I pushed him away.

He was so angry,
I didn't know what he was gonna do.

[SNIFFLES]

[SOBS, SNIFFLES]

[GASPS]

[GASPS]

[EXHALES]

Have you called
the police?

No.

No, I-I can't.

You don't understand,
those people will kill me.

[VANESSA SNIFFLES]

It's all right.
Babe, it's okay.

We're not gonna call them.
Look at me, we're not gonna call them.

I don't want
to call them, either,

because, in 36 hours...

his investment money's gonna
hit my bank account, right?

Now, if this gets out,
I am finished.

Do you understand me?
I am finished.

So, for the next 36 hours,
this is what we're gonna do.

We're just gonna pretend.

We're just gonna make it look like
he's still kicking about town, that's all,

and nobody
has to know-- nobody.

But I will need you
100% on this.

What do we have to do?

[PHONE RINGS]

Hello?

Yes,
this is Justin Price.

Fantastic.

Ah, no, n--
that's excellent.

Yeah. Yeah.
Thank you very much.

Bye-bye.

[PHONE BEEPS]

[TOUCHTONE DIALING]

- [PHONE RINGING, BEEPS]
- Hello?

Babe, it's me.

- I got the money.
- Okay.

- It's time for Tony to check out.
- Okay, I'll meet you in an hour

outside the car rental lot.

Okay,
just don't be late.

- Bye.
- [PHONE BEEPS]

[PHONE BEEPS]

Uh, yeah,
this is Tony Galper in 803.

Yeah, I'd like to check out
this morning.

Yeah, I believe everything
is in order, so, um...

I'll just leave the key card
on the table.

All right.

- Thank you very much.
- [PHONE BEEPS]

[PHONE RINGING]

- [PHONE BEEPS]
- Hello?

- Hello?
- Did you really think

you were going
to get away with it?

I know what you did.

Where did you put
the body, Vanessa?

- [GASPS]
- [PHONE BEEPS]

[PHONE RINGING]

- [PHONE BEEPS]
- Hi.

Oh, my god, Justin,
somebody just called me.

- What? Hey-- Hey-- Hey, babe,
- Some guy just called me and said--

slow down,
slow down, slow down.

- Who called you?
- Some guy, I don't know.

D-- You didn't tell anybody,
did you?

'Course I didn't.
What did he say?

Somebody just said
that he knows what we did.

Justin...

I think he just
e-mailed me.

- What?
- I'll call you back.

- No, no!
- I'll call you back.

[COMPUTER BEEPS]

JUSTIN:
He's got pictures.

VANESSA: Pictures?
Oh, my god. How?

JUSTIN:
I don't know.

- Well, what are we gonna do?
- [JUSTIN EXHALES]

- JUSTIN: He wants money.
- How much?

JUSTIN: I'll meet him
tonight to find out.

Okay, so, we give him the money
and, well, we get the pictures, right?

[CASH REGISTER DINGS]

- Sweetie, isn't that the idea?
- Yeah, that's the idea...

in Fantasyland.

Babe, hey, hey, hey,
hey, think about it, okay?

Now...

whatever it is...

however much he wants...

what then?

What, he's just gonna walk away
and forget about it?

[SOFTLY] No.

We could give this guy
all the money in the world...

and we'd still be
on the hook with him.

Now, we've come
this far, okay?

Together.

And we obviously
can't turn back.

But we can't have this guy
walking around,

knowing what
we've done, can we?

Can we?

JUSTIN: No.

♪ Wow

♪ Sweet and cool

♪ Wow

♪ Sweet and cool

♪ When we get together,
it's a wild thing... ♪♪

JULIUS: It's gonna be
a big night tonight.

JUSTIN:
Shut up, Julius.

[CAR DOOR CREAKS OPEN]

[CAR DOOR CLOSES]

LINWOOD:
It's been a few months.

JUSTIN: I can't say
I've been counting.

LINWOOD:
Ah, you're upset.

LINWOOD: Look, I know.
I understand.

LINWOOD: I didn't mean to get you
mixed up in this mess.

LINWOOD: You just
happened to be there.

LINWOOD: Wrong place,
wrong time, you know?

LINWOOD: Hey, your, uh,
your girlfriend know

- that you and I go back--
- JUSTIN: Ah, look, let's just get through this.

JUSTIN: Show me what you got,
tell me how much you want.

LINWOOD:
Okay. Sure, yeah.

LINWOOD:
But it's strictly business.

LINWOOD:
No hard feelings, right?

LINWOOD: I bet, tables were turned,
you'd do the same thing.

JUSTIN: How much?

LINWOOD: 250.

That's a lot of money.

Yeah, pictures like these...

they're worth
a lot more than that.

You'll see.

How bad are you
into your bookie?

LINWOOD: I'm clearing some
off the top for myself.

I look at it like this is my lottery
ticket, my chance to get square.

I can't get 250.

Business is good, Justin.

Hey, what's cover
tonight, 20?

Thirty bucks a pop?

That's just a sample.

[LINWOOD EXHALES]

[SIREN IN DISTANCE]

I'll see what I can do.

Yeah, I don't leave you
much choice.

No, you don't.

I'll meet you in the office
in two hours.

LINWOOD: Hey!

Bring one of your girls
like you used to.

I'll show her
a good time.

[LAUGHING]

- [RINGING TONE]
- VANESSA: Hello?

Yeah, it's me.

VANESSA:
Did you see the pictures?

Yeah.

And?

Ness, this is
the only way.

[TRIMMER BUZZING]

[TRIMMER CLICKS OFF]

[SWISHING LIQUID]

[GARGLING]

[KNOCKING AT DOOR]

Prompt as always.

[SECURITY CHAIN RATTLING]

Nice shirt.

LINWOOD: Hey, thanks.

LINWOOD:
Where's the girl?

JUSTIN: What's the matter,
don't you trust me?

Ah, you know I do.
Justin, Justin...

JUSTIN:
She's downstairs.

I told her to wait in the car
until we've sorted this out.

[♪ POUNDING MUSIC FROM CAR]

- You want a drink?
- No, I want the negs.

Well, of course, of course.

[DRAWER OPENS]

[DRAWER CLOSES]

All there?

What's the matter,
you don't trust me?

JUSTIN:
Of course I do.

JUSTIN: You got
a nice place here.

- Hey, thanks.
- [ZIPPER RASPING]

I do what I can.

Hey, hey,
what the hell is this?

[JUSTIN EXCLAIMS]

[LINWOOD COUGHS]

[LINWOOD YELLING]

- [BLOW LANDS]
- [LINWOOD GRUNTING]

[LINWOOD GRUNTS, PANTS]

[LINWOOD GASPING]

[LINWOOD PANTS, EXHALES]

[JUSTIN BREATHING SHAKILY]

[PAGER BEEPING]

"EMERGENCY
FRONT DOOR"

[BODY DRAGGING]

[KEYS CLACKING]

[COMPUTER BEEPING]

[KEYS CLACKING]

[KEYS CLACKING]

[LINWOOD COUGHS]

[LINWOOD GROANING]

[LINWOOD SCREAMS]

[JUSTIN BREATHING HEAVILY]

[CREAKING, RATTLING]

[CREAKING,
RATTLING INTENSIFY]

- [CREAKING]
- [SNAP, CLATTER]

- [BODY THUDS]
- [METAL CLATTERS]

Let's go.

[SIREN APPROACHING]

JULIUS: Where were you?
I was paging you.

Yeah, I didn't get it.
My battery must be dead.

- EMT: You the organizer for this event?
- Uh, yeah, I'm--

I'm Justin Price.
Sorry it took so long.

EMT:
Kid had a seizure.

Probably just dehydrated.
He'll be fine.

JUSTIN: Oh, good.

That's good news.

EMT: Need you to sign
some forms...

- ...underage kid and all.
- Oh, sorry, yeah. Sure, sure, sure.

- Uh, busy night?
- EMT: Not so bad...

- ...not yet.
- Oh, that's good.

- Let's hope it stays that way, right?
- EMT: Mm-hmm.

- EMT: Have a good one.
- Thank you.

EMT: Let's hit it.

[CAR PUTTERING]

Where is he going?

[GEARS GRINDING]

[BRAKES SQUEAKING]

[MOTOR CLATTERS TO STOP]

[PARKING BRAKE RATCHETS]

- [DOOR SQUEAKING]

HARKINS:
'Morning, sir.

Any more of that
coffee around?

Harris, some coffee
for the lieutenant.

- Two sugars.
- Two sugars!

HARRIS: You got it.
So, there's a dead guy over here.

- Thanks!
- HARRIS: You see anything--

So, we get a call early
this morning about 2:30.

Lady reported hearing
a loud noise,

said it sounded like a car crash,
but she couldn't be sure.

Sent a unit around,
but they didn't find anything.

And maybe
four hours later,

the sun comes up and, uh,
this homeless guy over here--

- Here you are, Lieutenant.
- Oh.

Much appreciated.

Uh, this homeless guy,
he's the one

- who finally called it in.
- COLUMBO: Mmm!

He wakes up out of it
and finds the body

lying just a few feet
away from him.

- Says he never heard a thing.
- We got a suicide note?

Yes, sir,
upstairs in the office.

He tied this rope around the radiator
and jumped out the fourth story window.

Only thing is
this guy goes a good 250.

The force of the fall ripped
the damn thing right out of the floor.

We know
whose car this is?

- No, sir.
- See if you can find out.

Just curious.

Pete, run a check on these
plates for the lieutenant,

- see whose car it is.
- PETE: Yes, sir.

Yeah, looks like the fall
broke both of his legs,

and the radiator, well, this thing
must have fallen on him, poor guy,

'cause if you look
right there,

the whole left side
of his chest is

- crushed like a pancake.
- COLUMBO: Ah.

The good news for him, though,
is that he was probably dead

- [COLUMBO SNIFFING]
- before he hit the ground.

Yeah, I mean,
you look at those marks

- and bruises on his neck, they're...
- [SNIFFING]

- pretty severe.
- [SNIFFING]

Um... this all seems, you know,
consistent with this type of thing.

[SNIFFING]

- I'm sure that, uh...
- [SNIFFING]

...his heft...

[SNIFFING]
- ...you know, his neck just...

snapped.

You say that office is
up on the fourth floor?

- Yes, sir.
- Is there a john up there?

- Sir?
- A bathroom?

Yes. Yes, bathroom.
Uh, fourth floor, Suite 424.

- 424?
- Yes, sir.

[PANTING]

Lieutenant, the car-- it turns out
that it belonged to the victim.

HARKINS:
He's one, um...

Linwood Coben.

He's a freelance
reporter

for the, um... tabloids.

HARKINS: Uh...

So, we're putting together
some contact information...

...on his employers...

...so we can have
a-a place to start, sir.

[WATER SLOSHING]

- Excuse me.
- POLICEWOMAN: Sir?

The suicide note-- can you
tell me where it was found?

Over on the computer, sir.

The computer?

Harkins. Harkins!

The computer with the suicide note,
has that been dusted for prints?

Uh, no, sir.

Didn't seem necessary
on a suicide.

- Did you smell his breath?
- HARKINS: Whose breath, sir?

The victim's.

It smells of mouthwash.

COLUMBO: Go ahead.

Yes, sir.
Faintly minty, I suppose.

You see this?

- No, sir.
- It's a toenail.

And there's nine more of them
up here in the toilet.

He cut his toenails.

Okay.

So...

It just doesn't strike me
as the kind of thing you do

before you hang yourself
off the side of a building.

A swig of mouthwash
and, uh...

What do you call it?

A pedicure, right?

COLUMBO: More like getting ready
for a woman than a suicide.

So, I would like to have this
keyboard up here dusted for prints.

- Is the guy around?
- HARKINS: Yeah, I'll send him right up.

[COLUMBO SIGHS]

What's today's date?

- 25th.
- 25th.

What did he do,
change the calendar and then jump?

Oh, look at this.

Okay.

I thought
that only worked on TV.

You'd be surprised.

What have you got there?

- Take a look.
- Oh! My coffee.

The thing's just about covered
in prints, all the same,

most likely belonging
to the deceased.

You said "just about."

That's the funny thing.

Every key has the same
basic print pattern

except for the letters
"E" and "I."

And what sort of pattern
do they have?

They don't have anything.

- You mean they're blank?
- Yes, sir.

COLUMBO: There are
12 "E"s here, right?

- And 11 "I"s.
- Twelve "E"s,

11 "I"s, that's right.

There are more "E"s and "I"s
than any other letter.

- But where are the prints?
- "But where are the prints?" Exactly.

Let me ask you
something.

If someone were
to wear a pair

of gloves and they hit
those keys 11 or 12 times,

is it possible...

that this
repeated contact...

would be enough
to wipe away any prints...

otherwise left
by the deceased?

Yeah, I suppose
that's a possibility.

This ain't no suicide.

But there's some guy out there
that wants me to think it is.

And that's the dude
I'm gonna be looking for.

Wouldn't you know?

Cold.

[NO MUSIC OR DIALOGUE]

COLUMBO: 'Mornin'.

COLUMBO:
Don't mean to intrude.

[NO MUSIC OR DIALOGUE]

COLUMBO: Miss?

COLUMBO: Sorry.

May I take a look
at that?

DANCER: Sure. Enjoy.

May I?

- It's yours.
- Thank you.

[♪ MUSIC POUNDING INSIDE]

Take the bass down
on the right.

Better.

Actually,
turn the same on the left.

Take it down on the left.

Too much bass.

You must be Lieutenant Columbo.
I'm Justin Price.

People actually
dance to that music?

- Yeah. Not your scene?
- It's too loud! Can't think.

Ah, can't interfere
with a man's thinking.

- [MUSIC STOPS]
- You found it all right?

Yeah. I'm here now,
and I must tell you,

it's quite a place you got here.
Really very impressive.

Thank you. It's uh...

It's been a long time
in the works.

Must cost a lot of money
for something like this.

Yeah, but-- well, you know, as I said,
it's been a long time coming.

So, when you called
earlier with...

well, this awful news about Linwood,
you said you had some questions for me.

Oh, yeah, right.
Uh, on the phone,

did I mention that the victim,
he had a rope around his neck?

- You did.
- Good.

Because obviously,
this looks like a suicide, right?

- Yeah.
- One problem-- no eye witness.

Nobody actually saw
what happened, you understand?

- Yeah.
- So, to close up this case...

this, you know-- mark it suicide,
go onto something else--

my boss, he's gonna have to rely,
to a certain extent,

on what people who knew Mr. Coben
had to say about him.

- You understand?
- I do.

- Now, you knew him, correct?
- That's right.

So, tell me about him.

Did he, uh...

- Did he have problems?
- Phew!

Look, Lieutenant, I liked the man,
but, uh... yeah, he had problems.

- Like what?
- [JUSTIN SIGHS]

He gambled... a lot.

He drank-- He--
The man was desperate.

Desperate?

Lieutenant,
this wasn't the first time.

- You mean--
- He tried it before.

- Suicide?
- Last Christmas.

How do you know?

- Because he told me.
- Oh.

This is very valuable.

Okay.

So, this party that you had
last night, uh...

- What do you call them?
- A rave.

Oh, right.

So, this rave
you had last night,

any reason in particular
for Mr. Coben to be there?

Uh, well, yeah, as a matter of fact,
you see, um...

- Coben and I had an arrange--
- [PAGER BEEPING]

- [BEEPING CONTINUES]
- Excuse me.

- Um, we had s--
- [BEEPING STOPS]

an arrangement, um,
a business arrangement, if you like.

I'm sorry, sir.
I don't quite follow you.

Sorry. Okay, um...

[EXHALES]
I meet a lot of people

in my line of work--
a lot of famous people, you know.

They come to my parties, so...

Look, Lieutenant,
if I'm telling you this,

I'm telling you this
in confidence, right?

You need information and I'll
tell you what I know, but...

if what I'm about to tell you
were to get out,

- it would finish my business.
- [COLUMBO LAUGHS]

- It's not to worry.
- Thank you.

So, these celebrities would occasionally
do something maybe they shouldn't,

that's when
I'd call Linwood...

tell him who's who, what's what, he'd come down,
you know, get a few pictures, and then...

well, strike a deal
with the person's rep, you know?

Get the negatives
for a price.

So, then, that money,
he would split that money with you.

That's right.

Look, I know it's not the most
savory way to make a buck or two, but...

Aw, no, please!
No, I'm not here to judge.

- Well, I appreciate that.
- All right.

So, last night he came there
to give you your cut of the last deal.

That's right.
Um, you know, looking back...

he was probably putting
his accounts in order.

Uh-huh.
So, uh...

what time was that?

Uh...

- around midnight.
- Uh-huh.

Could you tell me who
the person was in these pictures...

who he made
the deal with?

I'm sorry, Lieutenant,
it's just that these...

- celebrities, they're a little bit sensitive.
- [COLUMBO LAUGHING]

That's all right, yeah.

I probably wouldn't know
who they are anyhow.

- [JUSTIN LAUGHING]
- But my wife, you know,

she keeps up on these things,
you know,

the who's who
and the what's what.

- [PAGER BEEPING]
- They always do. Ah, sorry.
- Right.

Oh, don't be sorry.

You already gave me plenty of time,
so, don't worry about it.

It's-- I'm sorry,
it's just, I'm-- I'm, uh...

I have another party
I'm organizing this evening,

- so, things are a little busy.
- Oh, is that right, huh?

- Another warehouse thing?
- Yeah. My last, thank God.

It's a sort of-- Well, it's
a pre-opening bash for this place, really.

Oh, well,
I had no idea.

So, I take it
that a place like this...

that's a step up
for you, then?

Well, I'd like to think that
it's more than a step up, yeah.

It-- It sets you apart somewhat,
you know, puts you in the big leagues.

Well, congratulations,

- I suppose. [LAUGHS]
- Thank you. Listen,

if there's anything else
I can help you with,

- just get in touch. No problem.
- I appreciate it.

[SPEED DIALS]

[PHONE RINGING]

- VANESSA: Hello?
- Babe, it's me.

Oh, my god,
I've been calling you.

- What's going on?
- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, babe, relax. Relax, okay?

I've just been talking to a detective
about the whole thing.

- What? How did--
- Ness, Ness, Ness, Ness.

- How did he just--
- It's fine, okay?

They're just wrapping things up.
This guy... Columbo,

he just thinks it's suicide.
We're sweet, okay? Everything's fine.

[SIGHS]
I don't like this.

- I'm scared.
- I know you are, babe, but look...

maybe it's best if
we don't have too much contact,

just for a little bit longer,
all right?

'Cause, as long as they can't
put the two of us together,

they got no way
of connecting you to this guy.

- Understand me?
- Yeah.

All right, babe, I gotta go.
I love you.

I love you.
Bye.

[PHONE BEEPS]

[PHONE RINGING]

- Thanks for waiting.
- No trouble at all.

I just wanted to do
some checking.

Linwood didn't have just one
lawsuit against him, he had two.

- Occupational hazard, huh?
- Mm, to an extent.

This kind of thing followed
Linwood around more than most.

Two of the other rags
stopped hiring him altogether.

Oh, why is that?

He was just getting too unreliable.
He drank too much.

Ah, that's a real shame.

Can you think of anything else,
anybody who had a score to settle?

Ah, that's just it, Lieutenant.
Linwood had a lot of enemies.

I-I'm sure there's more than a handful
of people in this town who'd want him dead.

Okay.
I'll go through these...

I'll have them back
in a week.

Uh, Lieutenant,
there's one more thing, and I hesitate

to even bring it up,
because it's gossip

more than anything else.

Apparently, he received some threats
about a story he was working on.

I don't know what it was about,
but rumor has it it touched a nerve.

- Whether it's true or not...
- COLUMBO: Check it out.

Well, that's my feeling.

- I appreciate your candor.
- Good luck, Lieutenant.

EMT: Boy was fine--
just dehydrated.

The kids at these parties,
they really push the envelope a bit.

So, you had the doorman
contact Mr. Price.

Yeah, he beeped him.
I guess that's the way they operate.

The only reason I remember is
'cause it didn't seem to work very well.

Took him 15 minutes
to finally get outside.

Oh, really?

At what time was that?

Aah, 2:20... 2:30.

2:20, 2:30.

Any idea why
it took him so long?

Didn't wait around
for an explanation.

Just had him sign the form
and then we were outta there.

Well, thank you.
Thanks for the time.

[♪ POUNDING RAVE MUSIC]

WOMAN:
Hey! Hey, you!

- COLUMBO: Hey.
- WOMAN: Hey, come on, dance with me.

- COLUMBO: What are you doing?
- WOMAN: Oh, come on, you look good!

- COLUMBO: I do?
- WOMAN: Yeah!

- COLUMBO: Well, if you say so.
- [WOMAN LAUGHS]

WOMAN [MOVING AWAY]:
Dance with me.

JUSTIN: Lieutenant!

What's this, a new look?

I guess it's a start.

- Is this a bad time?
- Couldn't be worse.

Two minutes.

Yeah, I'm sorry
to drop in on you like this,

but I hate loose ends.

- Oh, I know what you mean.
- No, I mean, the slightest thing,

I can't sleep.

- I'm the same. Look, take a seat.
- Ah, this is not gonna take long.

- So, what's bugging you?
- I was wondering...

these parties
that you throw,

is it customary for you
to remain present

- during the entire event?
- Yeah, it's usually a good idea, you know,

just in case
something happens.

And last night?

You never left
for any reason?

No.
S-Sorry, Lieutenant,

what does this have to do
with Linwood's suicide?

Oh, you know, I'm not so sure
it is a suicide, Mr. Price.

- What, do you think he was murdered?
- We're exploring the possibility.

Wow! That's amazing.

What, I'm now a suspect,
is that it?

Is that amusing to you?

Yeah, ever so slightly.
Look, Lieutenant,

Linwood had a ton of enemies,
but I certainly wasn't one of them.

Ours was a mutually beneficial
relationship.

You know,
you got a good point.

It doesn't make sense.

Okay.
Tell you what...

just to make
the boss happy,

let me get these questions
out of the way.

Yeah, sure, of course. You're just
doing your job. I understand.

COLUMBO: Uh, you were
saying about last night,

- you were there the entire night.
- That's correct.

Is there any way
for me to confirm that...

just so we can put
the whole issue to bed?

Yeah, sure. Um...

- Yes, you could speak to Julius.
- Julius?

JUSTIN: Sorry,
he's my doorman.

He'll tell you my car was
out front the entire night.

Julius.
Okay, fine. Julius.

Julius?

COLUMBO:
That raises a question,

and now I remember
why I couldn't sleep.

See, I spoke to the paramedics
that treated that young boy.

What I don't
understand is this--

If you were there
the whole night...

why did you take so long
to meet them out front?

I should have realized
that's what's bothering you.

So, you can see the reason
for my concern?

Oh, absolutely. Look, Lieutenant...
[SIGHS]

...usually,
anything like this happens,

the best way to get me
is my beeper.

I get a page,
I head to the front door.

Last night,

my batteries were dead,

I never got the alert.

Oh, and what was it
that alerted you to the problem?

Uh, word of mouth,
I think.

Yes. Yeah, someone on the floor
said they were looking for me.

I see.
Well, that explains it.

It was your batteries--
they didn't work.

And to think I could have
saved you a trip down here.

All right.
So, you get back to your party, sir.

- Sorry again for bothering you.
- Not at all.

COLUMBO:
Oh, actually, uh...

if you don't mind, sir,

just one more thing.
I'm curious.

What was your morning like?

What kind of morning?

Yeah, you got up,
you showered...

you had a Pop Tart.
What else?

I just went to the club,
directly. I had a...

I had a lot
of work to do.

- Oh, directly?
- Yeah.

I mean, you didn't stop
for coffee, nothing?

Not that I can remember.
Why?

Well, it was just that,
when I saw you this morning,

your beeper was
working fine.

So, I figured
that, uh...

maybe you replaced
the batteries at some point

before arriving
at the club.

That's very clever,
Lieutenant.

I like that.

I actually replaced them last night,
immediately after the incident.

I keep a spare pack in the car
for just such reasons.

Oh, well, that certainly
cleared it up.

And I must say...

that is smart thinking.

You can never be
too prepared, right?

Ah, no, sir, you can't.
You have a good night now.

Thank you, Lieutenant.
And you.

[PHONE RINGING]

[RINGING CONTINUES]

LINWOOD [ON ANSWERING MACHINE]:
This is Linwood. Leave your message.

- [MACHINE BEEPS]
- MAN [ON RECORDING]: Hey, you there?

Hey, pick up the phone,
damn it!

All right,
okay, okay, pal.

This is
Sean Jarvis, again.

Hey, pal, I don't appreciate
these little games you're playing.

I'm still here,
waiting for my money.

Hey, the number's
310-555-0152.

Sean Jarvis.
Call me, you hear?

[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

[DOOR LATCH CLICKS]

- Sean Jarvis?
- Yes, what is it?

I'm Lieutenant Columbo,
Homicide.

I was wondering if I could
ask you a few questions.

What's this about?

You're familiar with a man
named Linwood Coben, correct?

Yeah, that's right.

Uh, do you mind, sir,
if I asked you...

what your relationship is
to Mr. Coben?

Hey, I barely know the guy.
Why?

Well, he was found dead
yesterday morning.

Ah. Well, what's this
gotta do with me?

Ah, well, Mr. Jarvis,
earlier today,

I overheard the message
that you left for him

on his answering machine.

Now, you mentioned some money
that he owed you.

Yeah, he owed me
300 bucks.

What was the money for?

Well, this might sound
stupid to you,

but one day
he knocks on my door...

he says he'll give me 100 bucks
if he could see my back yard.

- He wanted to see your back yard?
- Yeah, that's right.

So, I took him back there,
he looks around for a minute,

then says he'll give me
another couple of hundred

if he can hang out back there
for a couple of hours.

For what purpose?

He liked my trees.

He liked your trees?

So, do you remember,
was there, uh...

one particular tree
that he was interested in?

Yeah, that one over there.
That one.

- That one?
- Yeah.

He climbed up
about eight, ten feet,

said he liked the view.

Hey, who am I
to argue, right?

- He liked the view?
- That's what he said.

Okay.

Do you happen to have
a ladder?

I never been a fan of heights,
but... [EXHALES]

...he said
he liked the view.

Oh, uh,
by the way, Mr. Jarvis...

do you happen
to remember,

when was the last
time you saw Mr. Coben?

Saturday, Saturday.
I think it was Saturday.

- This last Saturday?
- That's right.

That's four days ago.
What date was that?

Well, today's the 26th,
so, that must have been the 22nd.

22nd...

Okay.
[GRUNTS]

[GROANS SOFTLY]

[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

- [DOOR LATCH CLICKS]
- Uh, good afternoon, miss.

Oh, I--
I'm not interested.

[KNOCKING LOUDLY]

[KNOCKING LOUDER]

- I'm sorry, miss, uh,
- I'm really not--

Lieutenant Columbo. Sometimes
I'm a little slow with this thing.

Uh, I wonder if I could
ask you a few questions.

Um, about what?

Do you mind
if I come in?

No.

Sure.
[CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY]

Is there something
that you're looking for?

Would you mind my asking
what it is you do for a living?

I'm an actress.

Oh! Really?

Anything I might have seen?

No. Um...

I had a sitcom,
but it just got canceled.

Oh.
Sorry to hear that.

In your line
of work, miss,

have you ever heard of a man
named Linwood Coben?

Uh, yeah,
I've heard of him. Why?

So that you know...

he's a tabloid guy.

Goes around
taking pictures...

spying on people...

celebrities
like yourself, mostly.

I guess.
Yeah, sure.

And if he were,
in fact,

writing a story
about you...

would you be aware of it?

Most likely.
I mean,

my publicist usually
keeps me up on things like that.

And your publicist has not
made you aware of anything recently?

No.
No, I don't think so,

but I'd be surprised if he's ever
written anything about me.

Really?
Why do you say that?

Oh, well, guys like him
usually go after the bigger names.

- Why do you ask?
- Oh, I'm just following up on a case.

Mr. Coben recently passed away
a couple of nights ago. Uh...

I'm just nosing around.

I'm-I'm sorry I can't
help you any further.

No, that's all right.
Thank you for your time.

You know, I'm afraid
I never got your name.

Oh, it's, uh, Vanessa.
I'm V-- Vanessa Farrow.

Well, Miss Farrow,
very comfortable house you have here.

- It's nice taste, the decor...
- Thank you.

Done some
redecorating recently?

Um, no.

- Not recently.
- Oh, no?

Oh. That's strange.

What's that?

It's silly I know,
but I notice the strangest things.

I just assume,

from these indentations
in the carpet here,

it would appear as though
you recently had a bigger coffee table.

Oh, you know what? I forgot.
I did just buy a new one. [CHUCKLES]

Ah, it's very nice.
It really is very nice.

Me, I have no sense
for this kind of thing.

Anyway, thanks again.

- Thank you for the time.
- [CHUCKLES SOFTLY] My pleasure.

Ah, here we go.

6/3.

Uh-huh.

Eh, 6/10. Jogging.

6/14.

6/22.

6/22, it's empty.

But all the other ones...

Why are there
no pictures here?

Jarvis said
you were there,

you were in the tree.
You took pictures...

you even made a file.

I don't get it.

Lieutenant Columbo.

I was wondering when
you'd show up again.

- You happy to see me, sir?
- Ah, always, Lieutenant.

I appreciate that.

Gee, I had no idea--
fish!

Last time I was here,
I didn't even see the tanks.

- They're gonna look great, don't you think?
- Fabulous!

A lot of thought
went into all of this.

- I wanna hand it to you.
- So, what's up?

Oh, uh, just one
quick question, actually.

Yesterday...

you mentioned to me
that Mr. Coben met with you

on business
the night of his death.

That's right.

He'd recently taken
a picture of somebody.

He then sold back to this person
the negative for a price.

- Is that correct?
- Basically, yeah.

Uh, now, this person--

I understand you're uncomfortable
telling me point blank who it is,

but how about
we say this?

Say I give you a name,

one name...

then you tell me whether this is
the person in the picture or not?

Why not?

Vanessa Farrow.

[CLICKS TONGUE]
She's not the one.

No, huh? Ah.

Well, I just thought
I'd throw it out, you know.

'Cause all kinds of names come up
in this sort of investigation,

you never know
where one will lead.

No, of course, of course.
No harm in trying.

- Maybe next time.
- Maybe next time.

- When do you open?
- Tomorrow night.

I wanna wish you
a lot of luck.

- Thank you very much.
- Good day, sir.

JUSTIN:
Bye-bye, now.

VANESSA [SIGHING]:
I've been trying to call you.

Look, that guy Columbo,
the cop, he found me.

- How?
- [SIGHING] I don't know,

but that guy the other night,
was his name Linwood Coben?

Yeah.

- Oh, my god!
- What did you tell him?

I didn't tell him anything.
He doesn't know anything, but...

I really don't like this, Justin.
He's way too close, and I am

out in the cold
if I can't get ahold of you.

Okay, hey, that's all we gotta do is just,
for a little bit longer, is keep our distance,

all right? So long as he can't
put the two of us together,

we are sweet,
we're laughing.

But what if I have
to call you?

Then that's all you do is go to a pay phone,
page me, and I'll call you back.

If we have to meet up,
we'll arrange it then,

but we have covered our tracks,
all right?

We're safe. We just gotta keep
swimming a little bit longer.

I gotta go.

You got something for me?

Yeah. Those threats you heard about,
the ones against Linwood?

Some pretty interesting stuff.
You're not gonna believe it.

Excuse me
just a second.

- Excuse me!
- Huh?

The name
you just mentioned...

the missing person...

- what was that again?
- A guy named Tony Galper.

- Tony Galper.
- Yes, sir.

- HARKINS: Uh, sir--
- I'm sorry.

I need to check
something out.

We will meet
on this later.

- Uh, Lieutenant Columbo?
- Yeah, what is it?

A package
I need you to sign for.

"Lieutenant, give this a try.
Best, Justin."

Vanessa Galper.

Hmm.

Galper!

Oh, her ex.

Joey G?

Hmm.

6/13.

And a 6/20.

Ah.

6/22.

Empty.

Thanks for meeting me.

So, what were you saying
back at the office?

Well, those rumors you heard about,
they're legitimate.

Turns out that three of the rags
that were working with Linwood

received threats
on his behalf.

Now, they said, off the record,
that they were warned repeatedly

to stay away from the story
he was working on.

Did they say who it was
that was behind the threats?

No, sir.
They were tight-lipped.

But that's not all, though.

Recently, Linwood reported
that his car had been vandalized.

Apparently, somebody threw a brick
through the driver's side window.

Officer on the scene found
this note wrapped around the brick.

"Lose the story
if you know what's good."

Signed "G."

Oh, boy.

- You mind if I borrow this?
- No, sir.

This guy Linwood, he stumbled
onto something, didn't he?

It looks that way.
Made somebody pretty angry.

Angry enough
to kill him?

I don't know.

Miss Farrow!

Uh... hi, um...
Mister...

Columbo.
Lieutenant Columbo.

Right. I'm sorry.

Oh, don't be sorry.
It's not a problem.

Are you following me?

[CHUCKLING]
Ah, no.

No, I was hoping
I could find a different size.

These are all
extra large.

Can you believe that?

Like this one.

Now, I'm not what you would call
up-with-the-fashion these days,

but let me ask you something.

This is too big,
isn't it?

Uh... it's a look,
but for you, maybe a little smaller.

Yeah, I agree,
but they don't have any.

And my wife, she's always telling me
to brighten things up, and I'm sure

she would have enjoyed seeing me
in something like this.

That, it's a shame.

But you know,
come to think

about it,
it's actually a good thing,

my running into you.

You saved me a trip
up to that house of yours.

Those canyon roads,
they make me nervous.

You have more
questions for me?

Yes...

about your ex-husband.

About Tony?

COLUMBO: When's
the last time that you saw him?

Uh... a while back.
Is he okay?

As a matter of fact, miss,
and I'm sorry to tell you this,

recently, a member of his family
reported him missing.

Oh, no.

Miss Farrow, did you know that Tony's father
was a member of the New York Mob?

Actually, a boss--
Joe Gianelli?

How--

I'm the only one
that knows that.

Not the only one, miss.

- What do you mean?
- Well, for starters, I know.

COLUMBO:
A couple of weeks ago,

the cops found this note
in Linwood's car.

Look. See how
it's signed there with a "G"?

And I recently came across some notes
that Coben had on this subject,

and that "G"...

is Joey Gianelli...

Tony's father.

I-- I-I don't--
I don't understand.

Coben was following
your ex-husband.

He knew the truth
about Tony's father.

And Gianelli didn't want him
to go public with the story.

So, you think these are the people
responsible for Linwood's death?

I wish it were that easy.

But with Tony missing,
it doesn't add up.

And you say you haven't
seen him in a while?

Um, no. I'm sorry.

Well, if anything turns up,
I'll let you know.

Thank you.
I appreciate that.

COLUMBO: Oh, just
one more question, Miss Farrow.

Where were you
the night of Linwood's death?

I was home.

Anyone you know
who can verify that?

- I was home alone.
- Very good, Miss Farrow.

- Good day.
- Bye.

You learn anything yet
about Tony Galper's disappearance?

Yes, sir. We got his whereabouts
mapped out up until three days ago.

Then he just vanishes.
No trace.

COLUMBO: Really?
Three days ago, huh?

- What day was that, the 24th?
- Yes, sir.

Are you sure it was the 24th
and not the 22nd?

Yes, sir, the 24th.
Last Monday.

Checked out of his
hotel room at 10:15,

then he dropped off a rental car
at a lot nearby.

Here.
Got a, uh...

record of his hotel bill
and receipts of the rental car.

No signature.

Sorry, sir?

This car rental receipt...

What's the address
on this place?

[CAR PUTTERING]

- [PARKING BRAKE RATCHETS]
- Excuse me! Miss?

Miss?
I'm sorry to interrupt.

I'm curious
about something.

As a customer,
say, when I drop off a car,

isn't there some paperwork
that I have to sign?

No, not necessarily, sir.

You just drop off the car
and leave your key.

There's even a drop box right outside
the door here for your key.

Amazing.

COLUMBO:
Are you telling me

that a person can
check out of a hotel

without signing anything?

Right.
It happens all the time.

So, how does it work?
How do you check out without signing?

Well, you pick up the phone
and you say, "I'm checking out."

We charge the credit card on file
and send you a report of the bill.

So, then,
when you leave...

nobody sees you go.

- Nope.
- Very convenient.

Here's the maid.
Her name's Mikki.

- She'll answer any questions.
- Thank you very much.

- Mikki?
- Yeah.

- How's it going?
- Good.

- Uh, you cleaned Mr. Galper's room?
- Yeah.

Just you?
Nobody else?

Yeah. Just me.

Okay.
And the bedroom...

every morning...

the bed...

- messed?
- Messed, yeah.

- What about the bathroom?
- Messed.

Uh-huh.

And the shower?

Shower wet.

- And the sink?
- Yeah, he used the sink.

- Sink wet?
- Yeah, and dirty.

And you clean every day?

Yeah.

Uh... and Mr. Galper...

how long did he stay here?

Ah, well, he check out Monday,
so, he was week before and two days bef--

Nine days.

And you remember that?

- Yeah, I remember.
- You remember him that well?

I remember real well.
[SCOFFS]

COLUMBO: Why?

Uh--
He don't want me to say.

Come on,
he don't care.

Eh, I...
I don't want to say.

COLUMBO: Okay.

So, when you clean,
you start here?

Or do you start
in the bedroom?

No. No, bathroom.
Okay, I start back

at the sink, and then--
and then move out.

Was he ever here
when you were here?

Yeah. Oh-- Uh, one time.
[CHUCKLES SOFTLY]

[CHUCKLING]
So, what happened?

Come on, tell me.

- I make joke.
- So, what'd you say?

Okay.
I-- I say, uh,

"Mr. Galper, will you
please do me favor?"

And he like me,
I can tell.

so, he say,
"What? I do it."

So, I say, uh,
"When you use this...

"can you please stand
closer to the bowl?"

- [COLUMBO LAUGHING]
- And he laugh, he say, "Oh, do I miss?"

And I say, "Yeah,
every day, for six days."

[LAUGHING]
So, what happened?

Nothing.

He still miss,

every day.

- [COLUMBO LAUGHING]
- Oh, oh, except for last day.

Last day the only day
he hit water not bowl.

And that was Monday.

Yeah.

The day he checked out,
the 24th.

- Yeah.
- Did you see him on Monday?

No.
He check out early.

So, the last day...

that was
the only day...

BOTH: ...that he hit the water
and not the bowl.

You're terrific.

Thank you.

MAN: Excuse me.
Excuse me.

Hey.
I'm sorry to bother you.

I think I'm a little lost. What was it,
could you point me to Grant Street?

COLUMBO:
Oh, yeah, sure.

Uh...
you go on Ocean

and it looks like, yeah,

take a right
and you go one block,

you run right into it.
Right here.

MAN: Oh, yeah.
I see it now.

You know, I'm here
from New York on business...

it's already
the third time I'm lost.

- Name's Freddy.
- Ah. Lieutenant, uh--

Columbo, right?

Yeah.
[CHUCKLES]

You see,
this business of mine...

I'm sort of
a messenger.

And these people I work for,
they're very private.

They sent me out here
to check up on a few things.

I see.

Well, that sounds like
interesting work.

MESSENGER: Matter of fact,
your name came up--

one of the people
they wanted me to track down.

You know, it seems
they were a little concerned

about Tony Galper's
disappearance.

Now, that's the case you're
looking into, isn't that right?

- Yes, it is.
- Well, these people...

they want me
to keep tabs on things,

you know, make sure
things are progressing smoothly.

I understand, but I'm afraid
we don't have much right now.

MESSENGER:
What about the basics?

We suspect
there's foul play.

All right? You see that?
That's good.

'Cause these people,
they think so, also.

Yeah?
Why is that?

Apparently, Mr. Galper's

been juggling some big-money
investments around recently.

Made the people back home
a little nervous.

But things were going okay
until now.

- Oh, so, you think that Mister--
- Whoa!

I'm just a messenger,
remember?

- I don't think anything.
- Oh, pardon me.

These people...

they think that one
of Mr. Galper's investments,

that's what's behind
his disappearance?

- It's a concern.
- Any one in particular?

You remember a name?

I don't, I'm sorry.

There were fish, though.
I remember that.

Something about fish.

- The Bait?
- [FINGER SNAPS] That's the one.

See, after Mr. Galper's
disappearance,

they went through
his investments

and froze whatever deals
were still pending.

- And The Bait was one of those?
- No, actually.

And that's the thing.

Turns out,

that investment was
finalized on the day--

Hang on,
let me get this right.

On the morning of the day
Mr. Galper actually disappeared.

Now, ain't that
something?

You mean the 24th?

Yep.
The 24th. Exactly.

I appreciate the information.

And I'll look into it.

Listen, if there's anything
I can help you with...

please.

Well, I don't think
I'm gonna need this.

But, uh,
thanks anyhow.

We should double
this order.

I don't wanna run short
this evening, 'cause if we do...

Tonight's the big one,
right?

JUSTIN [SOFTLY]:
Run this.

You know, Lieutenant,
my day wouldn't be complete

without at least one
of your little visits.

Oh, I'm sorry
about Tony.

- [SIGHS] Tony?
- Mr. Galper, one of your investors.

You do know
he's missing?

Of course I know he's missing.
It's terrible.

Yeah, must be kind of sad
not to have him here to see all of this.

You have no idea.

This is as much his
as it is mine.

[COLUMBO CLEARS THROAT]

I'm sorry, I'm lost.
It's a picture of Tony.

I found it, and quite a few more
like it, in Linwood's files.

Why would Linwood
have pictures of Tony?

Linwood was following him
for a story.

A story about what?

Mr. Price,
Tony's last name was not Galper.

[SIGHS]
What?

It was Gianelli.

Linwood was following him
because his father is Joe Gianelli.

And Joe Gianelli is Mafia.

He's the head of one
of the five New York families.

- You're kidding me now, Lieutenant.
- I'm not kidding you.

COLUMBO: As a matter of fact,
I just had an interesting conversation

with a man
representing Tony's father.

He came
all the way out here

just to see how
my investigation was going.

And here was me thinking
you were investigating Linwood's case.

Well, I'm working
on both now.

Anyway,
you can imagine

that Tony's father is real
anxious to find those people

responsible
for his son's disappearance,

although, my guess is,
given the chance,

he'd probably like to take justice
into his own hands.

JUSTIN: Really?
I didn't know that.

Oh, uh, by the way,
I meant to ask you.

After Mr. Galper's investment
money was transferred,

and everything
was complete...

was there a call
you made to him,

maybe to say thanks,
congratulations?

Actually, yeah.

We arranged
to meet for a drink.

- And did you?
- Yes, we did...

later on that day.
You know,

you really are
something else, Lieutenant.

Why do you say that?

Tony was an enthusiastic
partner in this club.

Please tell me why
I would want to get rid of him.

I don't know.

No.

What are these fish called?

- Koi.
- Fantastic!

Oh, my gosh.

Fantastic!

COLUMBO: What a great idea.
Fish in the dance floor.

COLUMBO: Fantastic!

[CHUCKLES]
Yeah, fantastic!

Good luck tonight.

[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

[KNOCKING CONTINUES]

- Lieutenant?
- Sorry to bother you, miss.

- I hope you don't mind.
- You know, I'm in a bit of a rush today.

- I'm sorry.
- Oh, I'm afraid these things won't wait.

It'll just take a minute.

[SIGHS]
What is that?

Do you mind?

Um...

- I-- I really don't have much time.
- I understand.

I'll just get right to it.

VANESSA:
Thank you.

COLUMBO:
You're welcome.

Uh...

Uh...

- So...?
- Ah, yes, just getting my notes.

Okay.

My problem is...

the two cases
I'm working on--

the murder
of Linwood Coben,

and your husband's
disappearance.

- Ex-husband.
- Ex-husband. You're right.

When you're right,
you're right.

Anyhow,
the only way

these two cases
make any sense...

they gotta have
a common tie.

[SIGH OF EXASPERATION]
Where is this heading, Lieutenant?

It's-- It's just
this tie between them.

See, that's the thing
that had me stumped.

I have a suspect
in the Coben

murder that I'm
reasonably certain about.

But I'm having a devil of a time
tying that suspect

to the suspect that I'm circling
in your husband's--

Excuse me,
your ex-husband's disappearance.

And who is that?

Well, that's you,
Miss Farrow.

You see,
once it occurred to me...

that one suspect...

might know
the other suspect...

that opened the door.

I'm sorry.
Mr. Columbo, this makes--

I-- I don't know
anything about this.

I don't know what
you're talking about.

I think you do.

What is that?

These are phone records
that belong to Justin Price...

all the calls that he receives
on that pager of his.

Now, I've highlighted the calls
on your phone number,

and a number of them were made
the morning after Mr. Coben's death.

This doesn't
prove anything.

No, it doesn't,
but it helps.

I'm gonna run along.
I know you're in a rush.

You keep these.
You look at them at your leisure.

Oh, one more
question, ma'am.

COLUMBO: You made
a lot of calls to him.

Did you ever
ask yourself

why he didn't call you back
when you needed him?

You've no idea
what you're talking about.

Ah, you're right, ma'am.
Sorry.

[DOOR SLAMS]

Yeah, it's me.

I have to see you
right now.

- JUSTIN [On phone]: Where are you?
- I'm at a pay phone, like you said.

- What's wrong?
- I know he knows.

- What are you talking about?
- Columbo, he knows about us.

- I have to see you right now.
- No way, Ness.

I'm opening those doors
in two minutes.

Justin,
I have to see you now.

- Vanessa, go home.
- Let me in, Julius.

Go home. He'll call you,
all right? Not tonight.

[COLUMBO'S CAR PUTTERING]

[POUNDING RAVE MUSIC]

He got ahold of your
call history on your pager!

My number's all over it!

- What did I tell you?!
- I know,

but what am I
supposed to do?

Whenever he's on my back,

he's keeps getting
closer and closer,

- and I can't get ahold of you!
- All right, all right, calm-- Calm down!

We're talking about murder, Justin,
going to jail!

- Hey! Stop it, Ness!
- How am I supposed to be calm?

He doesn't have
a thing!

He doesn't even have a case
without Tony's body!

- Babe, all we have--
- [MUSIC WHIRS DOWN]

[PATRONS CHATTERING, DISTANT]

Rusty, what's going on?

COLUMBO:
I'm sorry, sir, I apologize.

This is unbel--

You knew this was
my opening night!

- You're right, sir, it's an intrusion.
- No! No, no, no, no, no!

Let me tell you
what I'm gonna do!

I'm gonna sue your ass!

You're not gonna sue because

- that's foolish. No, it's foolish.
- Kevin, get him out of my club.

- Get out of my club.
- I just have...

Gotta have his... Got it right here.
I got a warrant.

Here it is.

I'm sorry?

I have a warrant. Uh, take this
up to Mr. Price, would you?

It's an extra copy, sir.
You can keep it.

Uh, just so you folks understand,
we'll be here 10, 15 minutes.

COLUMBO: Working
on a missing person's.

If you want to stay, you're welcome,
but you gotta be quiet.

Uh, Mr. Price...

Oh... [CLICKS TONGUE]
...almost forgot.

This is a fabulous club.

And this man is
responsible for it.

This is all
his vision here.

This is his design.

And I think we all
owe him a big hand.

[CLAPPING]

Uh, Mr. Price...

I wonder if
Miss Farrow would join us.

I think she'll be
interested in this, too.

COLUMBO:
Ah, Miss Farrow.

Uh, you recall, sir,

I dropped by earlier today,
I had the photo of Tony Galper...

Yes. Yes.
I remember.

Okay. Uh, do you remember
when I was leaving?

You know, I got over here,
just about with the fish--

What are these fish
called again?

- Koi.
- Koi. Right.

Magnificent creatures.

The different shapes
and the different colors...

Now, look at that guy there.
Look at that orange.

Isn't that fantastic?

Anyway, they caught my eye,
and I noticed that there were 14 of them,

and now I was going
this way, and, uh...

I'm sorry.

And another color caught my eye,
but in this tank, sir,

I noticed there were
only nine fish--

each one more beautiful
than the other--

but only nine.

So, when I got over here,
I was struck...

because there's 14 here,
just like the--

Please! Please...

tell me this nonsense has something
to do with obtaining a warrant.

Oh, absolutely.
Let me tell you something.

I got a nephew.

He works in that zoo
down in San Diego,

the one
with the big whale.

And he tells me
there's a rule for fish tanks.

I don't know if you're
aware of this or not...

but he tells me that,
for every inch of fish in the tank...

you gotta have
one gallon of water.

So, if you have
two goldfish...

each of them
one inch,

that's a total
of two inches.

You gotta have
two gallons of water.

Don't ask me
who comes up with

this stuff. That, I don't know,
but that's what he told me.

And the judge, he had it
checked out, and it's true.

So, uh, Junior...

Can we get these
two things here?

It has to do, sir,
with waste and filtrations,

things that
I don't understand.

- But what this all means is...
- [RAPPING POLE ON FLOOR]

the more fish you got,

the more water you need.

[WATER SLOSHING]

Ah...
about four feet.

So, this tank has 14 fish
and it's about four feet deep.

This is ridiculous,
Columbo, even for you.

Yeah, but I'm not
finished.

You see,
with this formula--

and this is the part
that really got my attention--

it follows,
the less space you have...

the less fish
you can keep.

COLUMBO:
Now, in this tank here...

we only got nine fish.
[RAPS POLE ON GLASS]

[WATER SLOSHING]

Yeah,
about two feet.

This tank is
only two feet deep.

That's why
it's only got nine fish.

Less space, less fish.

Uh, Mister Copper,
am I holding you up?

All right,
come on, get started.

Work right here
on the nine-fish tank.

This is only gonna
take a minute.

You see, I'm not sure
what happened to Tony Galper,

but he is missing,
and I was just thinking,

hypothetically,
if something did happen to him...

and somehow, Miss Farrow,
you happened to be involved...

well, you knew the people
that Tony was associated with.

You had to assume,
if they found out,

they'd probably kill you.

Again, mind you,
just talking hypothetically.

And you, Mr. Price,

you had a lot riding on Tony's
investment in this club,

and this place meant
a great deal to you.

So, say something did
happen to him.

In order to ensure
the receipt of his money,

you would have needed
to help Miss Farrow cover it up.

- Got it, Lieutenant.
- COLUMBO: Okay, go!

That device is actually called--
What is it again?

Ground-penetrating
radar device, sir.

Right.

Amazing instrument.

So, you buried him
right here...

right under that tank.

And, appropriately enough...

with the fishes,
as they say.

This place really
could have been something.

Too bad.

Good evening,
Mr. Price, Miss Farrow.

MESSENGER:
Good work, Lieutenant.

People back east are
gonna be very pleased.

Listen, if there's anything
I could ever do, huh?

Oh! Well,
that's very nice of you.

I really appreciate that.

Yeah.
[CHUCKLING]