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What?

Just looking at you, standing there like a statue.

How are you, son? What's up with you?

I'm fine. Why wouldn't I be?

Fine. What's in the bag?

Drugs.

I thought maybe you brought me something nice.

-Stop pouring, I don't feel like it. -Just for the toast.

Good to see you son, good to see you dad, cheers and so on.

Cheers.

Cheers.

-What did you say you had in the bag? -What's the bag got to do with you?

I was just curious.

You've never come home with such a big bag before.

I've got dollars, dad. Euros and dollars. Want some?

Why do you keep asking when I'm leaving? I don't know when I'm leaving.

Today, tomorrow or the day after. I don't know.

-Has something happened? -No, nothing's happened.

-Nothing? -What's it to you?

What? I'm your father!

Lots of things must have happened since we last saw each other.

-Your phone's ringing. -Yes, I know it's ringing.

How's that Rodica of yours?

Fine. That Roxana of mine is fine.

You've been back home, what? Three, maybe four times.

And never stayed for more than two hours.

The only time you spent the night was when your mother died.

-So, what do you want from me? -Is there something I should know?

What? What do you need to know? Tell me.

-I'm your father, I need to know. -Fine. The police aren't after me.

I haven't killed anybody, since that's all you're interested in.

Don't worry, it takes guts to kill somebody.

So, that Roxana of yours, she doesn't know you're here?

If I had a choice, you think I'd be here?

Move away!

Watch it, you'll get the bag wet!

Done!

-You've got my bag wet. -The dollars too!

Yes, the dollars, too!

You don't know her like I do. She's divorced, no children.

-You told me already. -Right.

-She worked in retail. -You don't say!

Responsibilities, money, receipts.

-What was I supposed to do? -What?

Did I say anything? You're obviously doing great.

Meaning what? What do you mean by "doing great"?

I mean you're doing great, I can even say congratulations.

Robert, at our age, it's not like you think.

What do I think it's like at your age?

You can't make people come all the way from Bucharest for nothing,

because we're not young anymore.

If there's understanding, nothing else matters.

Do you know how hard I tried to get her to come?

She's from the city, it's a different world.

Even the air is different.

That's why I tried so hard,

that's why I fixed the stoves, to be warm in the winter.

I'm not a nobody, someone who gets people travelling for nothing.

I tried really hard.

-You fixed the stoves? -Yes I did!

You have no idea how hard it was.

-Coffee? I'll make you both a coffee. -No, thanks. I don't want any coffee.

-Why don't you ask him to sit? -Eh...

Please, Robert, take a seat. Please, sit down. Please.

Sit down, for God's sake!

I'll be right back and we'll talk, OK?

She leaves such a scent trail, it makes the garden bloom.

She has a different lotion for everything.

One for her face, one for her legs, another one for her hands.

She looks after herself. She really cares.

She goes to bed, she brushes her hair. She wakes up, she brushes her hair.

A different kind of upbringing. That's what it is.

But tell me. Does she ride the cock well?

What?

The cock. Does she ride it well?

Are you out of your mind? How dare you talk to me like that?

Aren't you? What are we talking about here?

What talk? You're answering back? Who do you take me for?

-What about mom? -You're twisting my words.

-Mom! What about mom? -What about her?

-What about mom? -It's been four years.

So what if it's been four years?

-Well, what? -What?

Life is for the living.

-Really? -Yes, really.

What was I supposed to do?

-There was nothing else you could do? -What was I supposed to do?

-You can't fight illness, smartass. -I don't want to talk anymore.

-What? -What do you mean, what?

The past is the past and it's never coming back.

-Fine. -You see me happy?

-You see me dancing around the yard? -Spare me lines like that!

-Well, what? -Just leave me alone!

How is Iulica to blame?

Iulica? Careful I don't drink Iulica's bottles of perfume.

Careful she catches you.

And when I drink them, careful what'll come out.

-What'll come out? -What'll come out? Nothing.

-Meaning what? -The Mighty Orinoco will come out.

-What? What's with The Mighty Orinoco? -Meaning you should watch your step!

-Are you threatening me? -I'm warning you.

You're threatening me in my own yard?

-Warning me about what? -About nothing.

-How so? -Leave me alone, I've got a headache.

Now you've got a headache. So?

So mom died three years ago, not four. Three years and eleven days ago, today.

It was like yesterday. Big man!

Lay off the wine! It's not water. Don't drink so much!

-Now you're saying I'm drunk? -I say what you are.

-Then what? -Then nothing.

Sit back down! The woman's making you something to eat, and you're leaving!

-We'll talk... -We'll talk? About what?

-About what? -Talk about what?

About... we'll find a subject.

We'll find a subject, we're not dumb animals!

-She cares about you, respects you. -Wonderful. Thank you. I'm going to bed.

Where are you going?

To my room?

What's that? What room? Your room is in my house.

So you'd better watch how you behave! And what you say! And what you do!

I didn't put any sugar in, because I don't know how you take it.

Come on, sit down.

Come on. How do you take it?

-I told you I'm not hungry. -How do you take your coffee?

-I've sliced some ham and cheese. -I'm not hungry, I told you.

Let's have a bite. Please. I got you some pancakes.

But they're cold. They're from the fridge.

With cherry jam filling. I'll get the bread and we'll chat.

So, have you finished that book?

Your father's always telling me you're writing a book.

-Yes, I finished it. -Pass me the coffee, please.

Nothing. I don't have any talent for writing.

But you knew that already.

You're still young. You've got all the time in the world.

He's young, but his moustache is showing.

Many writers got off to a bad start.

How many of them wrote bad books before their first good one?

Some never even got to write the good one.

My book isn't bad.

It happens,

the same as it happens when your first child doesn't turn out right.

You want to do something, but the result is something else entirely.

So you don't even try to have a second child. You give up.

-But I meant something else. -Me too.

You're wrong. Things are different when you're a creator.

Lots of writers had failures before they became famous.

That doesn't mean there are no great writers.

But sorry, I'm doing all the talking.

No, go on, I see you know what you're talking about.

-I don't want to bother you. -You're not bothering me at all.

I really need the opinion of people who know what they're talking about.

Where is it? Where's the salt?

So you're broke, is that right?

Robert, you know I saw your name in the newspaper?

But I can't remember which. Your father's stopped buying them.

They're all stupid! And the people who buy them, too.

Yes, right.

-It was from the book launch. -Really?

-I suppose so, I don't know. -But you were kind of small in the photo.

I mean, there were lots of people.

It wasn't like you were alone on the first page.

-Have you been in the newspaper? -It wasn't for me. Don't need it.

-I'm different. How about that? -Well...

Well, what?

So... what do you write about?

-What do I write? -I mean, what's it about?

I might like to read it myself.

-I write poetry. -Poetry. How lovely!

-Poems about what? -Poems about... anything at all.

If you asked me, I'd tell you that poetry is and it isn't.

Eminescu, Mihail Eminescu, was he a great poet?

-Dad, cut it out, will you? -Hang on!

Yes, no doubt, he was the greatest, as far as I know.

Well. So, Mihail Eminescu,

Mihail Sadoveanu, Ion Creanga...

Delavrancea, Goga...

See? You know more about them, I don't.

They were all great poets, but I lived very well until now

without reading even one poem by them.

Or by me.

I don't need it! Poetry's not like bread.

It's not like getting frostbite in winter because you don't have shoes.

So what do you suggest, I should become a tractor driver?

I don't know. Do what you want. Have you ever listened to my advice?

That means you're being taken for a ride.

Are you giving me advice now, or what? I don't get it.

I was just asking you.

No, I see you've got something to say, opinions.

What are you going to do now?

Up until now, you were writing that book. What are you going to do next?

I'll smoke this cigarette and go to bed.

Look...

-Sometimes it's better not to know. -Yes.

I look at him and he's full of air,

because other people have filled his head with praise.

And I look closer and see he's still wearing the same clothes.

Turn it off if you don't answer! Why do you let it ring like that?

-I don't want to, leave me alone! -But it keeps ringing!

-So, what if it's ringing? -Who keeps ringing you?

What's it to you? Look, that's who!

-So why don't you answer? -I don't feel like answering.

-Then turn it off. -I don't want to turn it off.

I'm going to bed.

-Here it is. I'm at the end. -Thank you.

He's been like this since he was little.

Petrica, have you seen him?

No.

Stupid fucking redneck.

Pall Mall, Viceroy, Vogue, Dunhill. Only what's on display.

Alright. Thanks.

You might find Kent at Marcel's, on the Main Street.

Maybe not Kent number 8,

but he's got more things, it's a bigger shop.

-This is just a boutique. -Thanks, bye.

-What'll it be? -A loaf of bread.

Hey man! You come home and don't even call me!

-Look, it's our Robby! -How are you, Petrica?

-What have you been up to? -I came to buy some cigarettes.

How about you?

Nothing much, having a beer with these idiots.

Hello.

-When did you get back? -This morning.

Holly shit, I had two kids since I haven't seen you around.

-Really? Good for you, man! -What can I do if I like making love.

Congratulations! What are you doing?

I fucking commute, what else can I do. Care for a beer?

Naturally.

I'll tie you to this fence, so that you can't leave until you have a beer with me.

Careful, you'll rumple it!

-You're so fucking precious! Come on! -If I said I will, I will!

The man himself!

Good day, gentlemen.

...ages ago, in one of the newspapers. What did you do, write a book?

-Wasn't that what it said? -I did, yes.

Didn't it give you a sore head?

-A thin book. -More like a magazine, eh?

Son of a bitch!

-I'm off. -Already?

-I'm off home. I'm hungry. -Me too, but I can hold out a bit longer.

Bye.

What's up?

-I've had my evening tea. I'm off! -Already?

Right.

Alright, fuck off then! Don't show your face until morning!

-Yes, Robby, yes. -What? Why are you laughing?

Remember her, with the gang-bang?

That slut? Of course I do.

How you jumped the fence with her father after you?

He was totally going to kill me!

-We were horny like dogs. But so was she. -She was indeed.

-She's married now. -Really? With who?

A guy from Agigea. You should see her now, all fucking lady-like.

Keep it down, they'll hear us!

Fuck 'em, I'll kick both their asses, her and her dumbass husband.

And her idiot father.

-Hey... -What?

You shut up! You used to have pussy for brains.

Still do!

Didn't you lose the appetite with all that writing?

With so many ideas in your head, you'll forget how to bang that ass.

No way!

So you fucked your way around those lady writers, you bastard.

I'm going to get some cigarettes. What are you drinking? Beer?

Whatever you're having.

-Beer? -I've sent one off already.

-Wine? How about wine? -No.

-Come on, say what you want! -Doesn't matter. Anything.

-Anything as long as it's vodka. -Vodka.

Move it!

-How are you? -Fine. I'm here for some cigarettes.

-What brand? -Kent no. 8.

Alright.

-How are you doing? -I'm fine.

-This your shop? -No, I just work here.

It's nice. I almost didn't recognize you. You've changed.

-I've changed a bit. -I mean, you're all grown up.

Well, obviously! You too.

-Kent no. 8 you said? -Yes.

-Are you married? Kids? -No.

But I've turned down a few good proposals.

-Really? -12 lei 50.

-And you? -No, me neither.

What does Petrica drink?

-Hasn't he left? -No, he's still here.

He'll drink anything.

Some vodka, then. But the better stuff.

-Is Sankt Petersburg ok? -Yes, is that the best?

-It's very good. -Really?

-21. -Unbelievable.

Here you are.

-Can I have a glass, please? -Of course.

Thanks.

-Then, we'll... -Yes.

-This alright? -I sent the right man.

-Did you see that stupid Paula? -Yes, I did.

-A real shame. Poor girl! -Why?

After you left, she was hitched with a guy for six months, a year.

He screwed her every which way.

He beat her, bled her dry. The whole deal.

Ended up in court and shit,

'cos he talked her into everything he wanted.

-Cheers! -Cheers!

She was lucky, her folks passed away and so she moved there.

-Who died, the mayor? -Yes, both of them.

No way, her mother, too?

Didn't her father build her that fancy house next to the station?

I didn't know that.

Her husband ripped her off, took everything.

Hell knows what was in her head.

Of course she's changed.

You expected her stay the same as when you were humping her?

Who? Me and Paula? Never.

Just the tip and then you got carried away and broke the ice, eh?

Are you crazy? I'm telling you I didn't! What the hell?

-We just took walks hand in hand. -Butt naked...

I loved her, you idiot.

-She wanted to get married, I didn't. -No way!

Fuck that, it was a long time ago.

-How are you? What are you up to? -What the hell can I say?

Got anyone in tow? Or you're a loner?

No, it's just me.

-You didn't get married, did you? -No.

A big slap just missed you.

If I heard you'd got married and didn't invite me to the wedding,

I'd bite your head off!

As if I wouldn't invite you!

Here to see your old man?

Couldn't you just call him?

-I'm really glad to see you, man! Cheers! -Me, too, idiot.

You're such an idiot.

I wanted to come to the funeral, but I had some work to do.

I don't remember.

Never mind.

-Was she ill from before? -No.

-So it struck suddenly, or how was it? -Yes, I don't know.

God rest her soul!

About me? Nothing to say about me. Better tell me about you.

-Still write for the papers? -Yes, I do.

That's what you said last time you were here.

I still write.

-Big shot! Write for just one? -No, for several.

So you're famous writer now, you lucky bastard!

-What kind of car you got? -Dacia Logan.

Don't be modest, tell me.

-Yeah I've got a Logan, no bullshit! -No way!

Even I was going to get myself an Opel. From 2000, 2009 or something.

I was about to buy it.

And you haven't got one?

I've got a Logan. What do you want me to say?

Alright.

Want some more?

Go on, pour it all.

-Cheers. -Cheers

-So you saved the last drop for yourself? -So that the girls will like me.

-I don't drink vodka. -What do you drink, Paula?

Beer.

Come on, put me down for a beer, it's on me.

-I'll pay for the drinks. -Even better.

Come on, look, we've got Robby here.

When will we see this big shot from the papers again?

Well, alright, but I'll pay for my own beer.

Come on, sit with us. It's Robby here.

-Alright, I'll sit. -When will we see him again?

Come on, Paula!

This idiot never comes to visit us.

-Fancy city girl. -Tell me about it.

Weird how life is.

Remember what a pompous bitch she was? The mayor's daughter.

Now she fetches my drinks. If I'm in the mood, I tip her.

And she takes the tip, she even thanks me.

First time we saw how a banana looked like was at her house.

Right.

-You see what I'm saying. -I do.

Where she is today and, for example, where you are.

-Cheers! -Cheers!

-What have you been up to? -This and that.

Why don't you ask me, too? Look, I've had a haircut.

-How do I look? -Yeah, sure, very nice.

-I did it for you. -I'm overjoyed. You shouldn't have.

-How are you, kids? -How are you, professor?

What a surprise!

I can't get away from this bum.

-A loaf of bread. Have you got bread? -Yes. How many should I get?

It's okay, I'll come inside to see what else you've got,

maybe I'll get some other things, too.

Maybe some booze.

-He's put on some weight alright. -The thrashings he used to give me...

-What? He was okay with me. -With you, maybe.

Whenever he caught me, he'd blast me. Petrica, you're blockhead, he used to say.

What did you expect him to call you?

Whatever happened, I got the blame for it.

Remember when you broke the staffroom window?

-How could I forget? -Who's got his ass kicked? Me or you?

Me! It was my fault!

Didn't I confess? But they wouldn't believe me.

I covered your back.

What did one more thrashing matter to me. You were the golden boy.

-Got your bread, sir? -Yes, I have.

-Watch out you don't spill it. -Petrica...

-What? -You're very observant.

-I like a drink every now and then. -Don't we all?

-Well, yes. Cheers! -Cheers!

-Here's to success! -Cheers.

So, Robert, is Bucharest still that far away?

Still that far, sir.

I look at you, and you haven't changed at all, sir.

Listen here, mister, save your compliments for the ladies, not for me.

I'm counting the days until my retirement, so that I can draw a line

and then start counting the days until I die.

Don't talk like that, sir, you're still young.

-Why talk like that, sir? -Because I don't feel all that well.

My back aches. All my bones have been aching for a while now.

I wanted to go for a serious check-up, but I put it off. I'm a little scared.

-So you've got health problems. -Minor ones.

But what about you? I've heard all sorts of things about you,

that you've done this, that, and the other.

They'll make you mayor here tomorrow, if you wanted.

You're our best and brightest.

You're exaggerating, sir.

It's not for everyone to achieve what you've achieved.

What have I achieved, sir?

Silence, silence or I'll get you grounded. You've achieved a lot!

Doina showed me a photo of you in the paper.

"Achieved" is a big word. Let's just say I'm on schedule.

I think I'll stay a little longer.

You should come to the school and see the old coins museum.

-Really? -Yes.

Can I come, too? Paula, why don't you come, too?

Look, I'm inviting you to see the museum.

-We'll be doing something cultural, eh? -Everyone is welcome.

She's the head mistress, yes. They made her head mistress.

-I ran, too, but she was elected. -Tough luck!

It's ok, I did just for show. To make it seem there's competition.

But it's much better for the school that she was elected.

She's always organizing stuff, doing stuff.

Much better for the school.

-Didn't she take you all to summer camp? -Yes.

Amara, one year, Slanic the next year.

I know Slanic like the back of my hand.

Well, that's how you've seen the rest of this country.

Other places, other customs.

Physics wasn't my...

Can I tell you something?

I liked it. A lot.

Not just physics, but maths, too.

And where has that got me? Tell me!

I'll be retiring here, from Dimwits Valley.

Does anybody know what's best?

What's the best thing to do?

Me, for one, I've no idea.

You work like a dog your whole life, just to get to the starting line,

and when you get there, the others are long gone.

Isn't that right, Petrica?

-Maybe he's been? -I haven't been abroad much.

-Don't be shy. Tell us. -I've been, but didn't stay long.

-What was it like? -Nice, how else? Nice.

Well, sure it was nice, that much we know. But have you been anywhere special?

-Have you been to Paris? -Yes, of course.

-So tell us! -What?

Come on, you want us to beg you?

Tell us about it! We're looking at you here like you're Santa Claus.

Yeah, man, I've been there.

Most of the times I've been abroad, I've been to Paris.

-Have you been to London? -Yes.

-What about America? -Just New York and San Francisco.

America is very big, you can't see it all.

-You went just to get an idea? -Yes.

-Where else have you been? -Japan, China, Taiwan, Mexico.

-He's been all over, hasn't he? -All over. Not all over.

On Mr. Teacher's scooter...

Well, if you're making me.

-What's it like? -It's nice.

But I can't say I've seen the whole country, I know the country.

Wham, bam, thank you mam. Beg your pardon, sir.

Not my pardon, Paula's.

Sorry, doll.

Did you go as a writer? Or was it on business?

What business, dear? As a writer, for research.

He went to a congress, a conference, who knows?

-Something like that. -Yes.

Very nice. Bravo!

-Happy for him, aren't you? -Yes, why wouldn't I be?

So to avoid the eventual complications, arguments, fights, quarrels,

where have you been all this time, etcetera, I'd better go.

Mister Robert, I'm very proud of you. Keep it up!

-I'm very glad to have seen you. -Me too.

Seeing you like this, I can say bravo! With my deepest respect.

If you have time, come to see the museum.

We will.

-Goodbye. Have a nice evening. -Goodbye.

-Bye, Petrica. -Bye!

-Shall we give you a push, sir! -No.

Poor guy.

Why didn't you come by car, sir?

'Cos I'm an idiot.

-Petrica! -Shut up, Robby.

You don't know what I'm talking about. It's very bad.

Can I tell you something?

Forgive me, Paula, but I don't feel like going home.

-Why should I forgive you? -You're the woman around here.

Some guy will marry you someday, so you can nag him.

I was joking!

I'm jealous, damn it... You don't know how jealous I am!

Jealous about what?

Why couldn't I become a writer?

-Look at me, just look at me. -I'm looking.

I get up at five in the morning, go to work, get back in the evening,

drink vodka here, then go home to bed.

Is that nice?

Don't be angry at me for telling you. Who else am I going to tell?

I'll be damned if I'm angry.

Paula, you nodding off? Stop yawning.

I didn't stay here to listen to you.

That's what I thought.

You see? You don't even have to do anything.

We sit and look at you even when you're silent.

-Come on, cut it out! -Hey!

You're an idiot. I swear you are. With all your writing.

But I'm proud of you. Look. Cheers!

Don't ever let them get you down, anywhere you're going!

You fuck'em all up, just the way they're fucking me.

You can start with Paula, look at her yawning.

Come on, we're only joking! Come on, don't be mad.

Is she upset?

Obviously. How can you be so fucking stupid?

-I was just joking. -Fuck those jokes of yours!

We're just having a laugh. To pass the time.

I'm drunk. I'm sorry.

Forget it. She's alright.

Are you alright?

Hey, get out of here!

-Don't stare at me! Get lost! -Leave him be!

Paula, forgive me.

Listen to me, forget that motherfucker. But what you said earlier wasn't ok.

Robby man, come on. What? Are we comparing ourselves?

-Me, I'm me. -You idiot.

-You, you're you and everybody else. -At a pinch, we could compare ourselves.

C'mon, Robby!

Paula, is that true? Tell me, is it?

-Enough. We're going to my place. -No way!

If I said it, I said it. What is this, a talk-show?

-Me, a hobo? I don't think so. -Come on, Petrica, you're drunk.

You've got a little kid at home.

Come on. You know that better than me?

Enough. We're going to my place.

-I'm not going. -I said it first.

I'm not bothering your wife, she's tired, has a baby to look after.

Who, Mia? You don't know her.

I'll shift her gears on the spot. I'll surprise her with a night shift.

She's tough. Never talks back.

-What the hell, man -No.

My wife is like a sister to me, don't worry about it.

-What do you mean? -I'll explain later.

Hear that? His wife is a sister to him.

Hey!

He's a fucking idiot.

Do it as a favor to me.

Come on! As a favor to me. Do me the honor.

You idiot.

You want me to kiss your hands, like you're the priest?

Or roll around on the ground? Is that all that I mean to you?

Come on.

Listen to me. I come if Paula comes, too.

We'll sit under the vine, drink a glass of last year's wine, not this shit...

Please...

I'm not coming. Can't you see you've drunk too much?

I'm not coming at this hour. I'm not angry, but I'm not coming.

Why are you pinching me?

-Paulista, please. -Paulista!

Stop it, stop pinching me!

Enough, you've had enough. Give me that bottle.

You're not taking it with you too, leave it here! C'mon, Petrica!

-I've got a loaf to take home. -I've got bread at my house.

It's for my house.

-Ready? -No, it's this fucking lock.

Let me...

-Let's go. -Let's go.

Look, the guard of the estate. My father-in-law.

Good evening!

Come on in, he won't bite.

Have a seat over here.

-We're sitting here? -Yes.

Come on, sit down.

-I'm so embarrassed. -Why are you embarrassed?

Miutza! I'm home.

Paula, who used to live over there?

-Popa. -No, over there.

The Popas, Robby.

No, past those lamps, behind the tiny fence.

Wasn't it the same yard?

So over there, Alina from our class used to stay, right?

-Yes. -And opposite?

The Popas.

-Come on, Robert, it's the same yard. -Over the little fence, Paula, there!

I've fixed the weather.

It's sunny, but windy.

Miutza, over here.

-Good evening! -Mia, Robert.

-Good evening, Mia. -Good evening, Mia!

-How do you do? -We're sorry for barging in like this.

Petrica insisted and you know how Petrica is.

We didn't want to come.

-You're very welcome. -Really?

Finally, I get to meet Robby.

I'll just check on...

Come on, sit down. Sit! Sit down!

Nice house you've built for yourself!

No, it's my father's-in-law. We only have this part, over here.

The rest, only when the old fart croaks. I'll get that wine, eh?

-What? -Stop, it tickles!

-Are you alright? -Yes.

-Are you here? -Yes.

-Are you cold? -No.

I like the air here. I was sick of that shitty Bucharest.

Yes, I like it, too.

Tell me about your life.

Come on, tell me!

Nothing new. Just rolling along.

Mia? Do I know her?

No, you can't know her, they came only a few years ago.

They moved here from Medgidia and bought this from that Popa.

I didn't add soda, not to ruin it.

-Are you hungry? -No.

Feed us and maybe we won't leave until morning.

Oh no, please!

So what? We've got wine to last for two weddings.

-I'm really not hungry. -I am.

I let him watch TV, because he was waking the little girl up.

I'll go check on him later.

Come and have a glass of wine with us, Miutza. Come on.

Wait, I'll get myself a glass.

Oh, I didn't get you one, I forgot. Sit down, lovebird, I'll go get it.

-We're intruding. I'm sorry. -Don't worry. You're welcome.

I am a bit tired because of the kids, but I'll be fine.

-You've got two children, right? -Yes. A boy and a girl.

-Like the fairy tale. -How lovely.

Here you go, lovebird.

-Cheers! -Cheers!

-Welcome to our place. -Nice to be here.

Miutza?

-What just popped in my head? -What?

We're a bit hungry.

I'll put something on the table.

-No. -No?

-No, we want something a bit special. -Meaning what?

You know what this idiot said?

If we feed him, he'll stay here until morning.

-And we've got a lot to talk about. -I didn't say such a thing...

-Slaughter what? -A hen, a cock, something.

-At this hour? -Don't go to any trouble, Mia.

Out of the question. She's tired, we're barging in out of the blue.

We're not about to eat the hens.

Since when you're talking over me in my own house?

Miutza, I'll catch one, off with it's head,

and you fry it up in the pan with some garlic, like you know best.

We also get some pickles out.

So that these idiots will feel right at home.

Not so loud, you'll wake up the kids.

I'll put the water to boil, then we'll pluck it, eh?

-Petrica, it's late at night! -Again? You're overruling me again?

-Say, who sings around this house? -The rooster, Petrica.

Right. I go Cluck! Cluck!

-Now you get it? -How the hell not?

It's his favorite joke. Nobody leaves without hearing it, you know.

Would the best girl in the world let me starve to death?

I've got a chicken in the fridge. I was going to cook it tomorrow,

but I'll fry it now.

-You peel the garlic, alright? -Bring it here.

-You come and get it. -Paula, why don't you go? You're closer.

No, I'll bring it.

-Should I come, give you a hand? -If you like.

Go on, then.

-What? -What?

-What? -I'm happy you're here.

Go on, flex it!

-A wall! Now can I give you a punch? -No, fuck you, you hit too hard.

Go and call your father-in-law, to have some wine with us.

Screw him.

Avoid having troubles with him afterwards.

Forget it, I've tried every which way.

They don't like me, and that's that.

You're doing that wrong, don't put that there. Just let me do what I want!

Someday I'll grab him and that bitch mother-in-law

and kick them both out.

-So, you're a father? -What was I supposed to do?

What about you and that girl?

Wham bam thank you ma'am.

So I gather you're back to spanking your monkey, huh?

Why not hook up with Paula? It's free.

Let's see how it goes.

You should, she's clearly drooling over you.

Think so?

You just make a move and it's down with her panties.

She's kind of oldish.

You bastard.

Back in the day you weren't all that picky.

When you don't like her any more, you switch from behind.

Let's go.

It's good. Go on inside. We'll eat inside.

-Want some more? -No.

-Everything alright, Paula? -Fine, why wouldn't it be?

-So, everything's alright? -That's what I said.

-It's good, man, it's still good. -What's good?

That we're healthy, Paula.

-That girl from group F, remember her? -Yes, Mariana from group F.

We used to call her Mari.

I called her Mari, too,

but remember she told us to call her Maria,

and it was Mariana in her ID card.

-Yes, I know. -You do?

-Anyway, that's what she does in Italy. -Really?

Didn't she come back? I've seen her around.

Maybe she was visiting.

I wonder how she deals with it, how does she introduce herself in Italy:

Mari or Mariana, or Maria.

Yeah, right, Ciobanu...

Don't you call her Mariana?

Double N Marianna, maybe.

-Or with a different accent. -Yeah, or with a different accent.

-No, I don't want any, Petrica. -Come on.

-Petrica talks very nice about you. -Really? He talks behind my back?

Only good things.

I boast about you, what else?

Your glass is dry, look.

Thank you. Everybody says nice things about Robert.

Marina.

Marina is Marina, Maria is Maria. It's a bit different.

-They were the best years of my life. -Thank you.

I meant up until I met you, lovebird.

You can't take it back now.

-Don't you want that garlic? -No, I've had enough.

-Why? -Because I'm full.

Eat up, you won't be kissing anybody at this hour.

I like it. I'm digging in.

For some people the night is still young.

Very good. And the meat is special.

If I'd known you were coming, I'd have made...

No, it's really good.

No, it's good. We've eaten, we're full. What you made, you made well.

-But it's very good! -Really?

Yes, I'm full...

So you live alone? Petrica said you live alone, I think.

-What else can I do? -Don't you get scared?

No. Why would I be scared?

Well, in the beginning I was, especially in winter.

But now, since I've been working at the shop,

after twelve hours on my feet, I don't even turn on the TV.

If there's something to eat in the hose, I eat, if not, I don't care.

I sleep like a log.

-A hard life. -I'm not complaining.

-Petrica says nice things about you, too. -Really?

-Yes. Are you surprised? -No. Why wouldn't he?

Robby, man...

Let's take out those achievements now.

-What book did you say you wrote? -A poetry book.

-You're shitting me. -Really.

So tell us a poem, so we won't die in ignorance.

What's the book called?

-It's called "At Home". -At Home?

-Really? -Yes, really.

I am not happy with the title, but, anyway. "At Home".

"My eyes closed, I tread the paths That lead to your heart

Not knowing that the gate To your heart is locked."

Very cool.

-Like it? -Yes.

-I wrote it for you. -Really?

-Yes, long time ago. -With all the things on his mind...

-You don't remember? -Not really.

-Didn't you write her a poem, too? -No.

Tell me, is that nice?

-Hey, cheers. Forget about it. -Cheers.

-Pour a glass of wine for me, too. -Are you sure?

Yes, go on. I want to feel good too.

If I wrote a book, you know what title it would have?

"How To Get Away From Home". Especially since the little one was born.

We'll write it together, Petrica.

That's cool.

The wine is so good.

So the girl wrote you a poem and you didn't write her anything?

Forget about it.

Say a few words at least.

Make something up, you're a poet.

-Are you still having that? -Oh, no.

-Are you sure? -No, thank you very much.

-So I can clear up, then. -Thank you. It was very good.

-Glad you liked it. -You're a big expert, Mia!

-At frying chicken. -Mine doesn't write poems. Yet.

And at raising children.

I'm glad you enjoyed it.

Please come again, maybe that way Petrica will spend some time with me.

-Meaning what? -Wipe your mouth, it's greasy.

-The poem is very nice. -Really? You like it?

For my mind, at least.

I like it, too. It's quite beautiful, you know?

Yes?

Yes, it's penetrating. It conveys.

That's important in a poem. To convey.

-What? Why are you laughing? -You liar!

No, listen, a genuine poem has to touch the soul.

-Really? -Yes. And your lines, they...

There?

Robby's got the big guns out, he got the tanks on her.

-So? -What?

You have a problem with that?

What's wrong? Now you're angry with me?

Let me enjoy my dinner.

Then allow me to tell you a poem too, shall I?

O, I'm scared!

Our baby girl has been having diarrhea for two days, and you don't have a clue.

Alin uses swear words. You dont have a clue, again.

And I can't take it any more, la, la, la, la.

Don't shout, I'm not deaf.

You'll wake the kids and I'll send you to get them back to sleep.

The kids or your old man?

You think I like living here? We'll move out tomorrow, if you want.

It'll take me half an hour to pack, hens included.

But where will we move to, Petrica? Tell me.

Where will we find a nicer place than this?

-I drank and my wife got drunk. -Stop it.

-We're leaving. -You're what?

-It's late and I have to get up early. -Paula can stay, can't she, Petrica?

Shut your mouth!

What are you looking at? Don't like my voice anymore?

-Don't you talk to me like that! -And don't you treat me like that!

Robby, stay a bit longer!

We're leaving now, good night, thank you for the meal.

Paula, come again anytime. The door will always be open for you.

And if I'm not at home, then so much the better.

We're off. Good night. We'll talk later.

What are you looking at?

Stop it, I'll clear up.

Big deal.

-Yeah, I know, I grew a belly, too. -So what?

If I look at you now, I get an idea of how I'll look.

-What? -I'm sorry.

-What for? -For that scene, with Mia...

Forget about it.

I wouldn't want to be in her shoes.

Rather than wait up for someone like him every night,

better not to wait up for anybody, ever.

Bye.

-I'm happy to have seen you. -Me too.

Bye.

You've changed the color of your house.

Yes, I thought I'd freshen it up a bit.

-So you like colors. -Yes, I do. Like it?

Yes, I like it.

Come inside a minute, I want to show you something.

-What? -I want to show you something.

-What are these? -What?

-These. -Little seashells.

I know what they are, but...

-What? -You like decorations?

-It's just a little arrangement. -Yes.

Look, more little seashells.

-Like them? -What?

-Like them? -Yes.

And these ones, on the post.

That's right, over there.

-Oh, no, Robby, please! -It's no trouble.

-What? -Look!

-The bathroom? -Yes.

-It's nice. -Really?

Remember how we always had problems with the water.

Yeah, of course I do.

I dug a deeper well around the back.

But I can still only take one shower a day.

I was sick of heating water on the stove all the time,

getting washed by the bucket. You know how it is...

Especially in the winter. Drives you mad.

Now I just plug in the boiler.

Yes, it's nice.

Glad you like it.

Yes, I really like it.

See, how it's like a chessboard?

Look here.

And the shower curtain.

Lends a splash of color.

-Like the color? -Yes.

It came out just the way I wanted it, down to the last detail.

True, I put a lot of effort in it.

I told myself that if I'm not even capable of doing a bathroom,

then I truly am the biggest idiot.

It took a while before I decided to do it.

I was going through a rough patch,

then I suddenly decided: "Enough, I have to do something!

I have to put my life in order, I can't go on living like this!"

So? Where to begin?

With what bothered me the most.

And what bothered me the most was that I couldn't wash.

And so I said to myself that's it, I'll do the bathroom.

I had money problems, too. It wasn't easy, but I found the money.

And look!

It was worth it!

Yes, it's nice.

The shower curtain matches.

-You don't like it? -Yes, I do.

You're not lying?

It's just a bathroom, though. Take it a bit easier!

I overreacted.

No you didn't. But what can I say? It's a bathroom.

You...

Really! You pee in it.

Yes, you're right.

The chessboard and the matching...

The color. The splash of color.

-But fuck it, it's just a bathroom. -Why are you so angry about it?

-Why are you angry? -I'm not angry.

I don't have anything else to tell you about.

You don't have to tell me anything.

-You've been with a lot of girls, right? -Not really.

I don't believe you. Wait a minute.

I'm sorry. I can't, not like this. Please, forgive me.

I don't know why, but I can't, not like this.

How are you?

What have you been doing? Tell me a story.

Boast about yourself.

Tell me about London.

Why don't you say something? Tell me a story.

I don't want to screw anymore.

Robby, I think it's best that you leave.

What's the point? You've got your life, I've got mine.

We're not kids any more, Robert.

I'm glad that you're well, that I hear good things about you,

that you go to London, Paris, Tokyo.

-I've never been to London in my life. -You're hurting me. What?

-I've never been to London in my life. -Didn't you say so? Did I hear wrong?

You heard right. I've never been to London in my life. I lied to you.

I lied.

I've never been anywhere except for Sofia and Bratislava.

The longest I was away was in Sofia, on a school trip, for ten days.

To the school Olympics.

-Earlier, you said you've been. -I haven't.

But I mustn't disappoint anybody, right? Neither you, nor Petrica, nor Mr. Teacher.

You didn't disappoint me.

No, because I'm the slick from Bucharest.

Didn't he say he'd make me mayor, if I wanted?

You know what the difference is between me and Petrica?

Petrica didn't do shit here, locally,

I didn't do shit a bit farther, in Bucharest.

-It's not like that -That's all. Yes, it is.

-You did a lot compared to other people. -What did I do?

In 14 years, I've written a few hundred articles

for some shitty supplements that nobody reads

except the people who write for them.

And I published a book with some colleagues from the Philology Department,

in a brief burst of energy. That's all.

Yes, you wrote a poetry book.

So what? Do you know any of my poems?

-If you put it that way... -No, go on, tell me one of my poems.

I don't know.

There you go.

Tell me just one line.

Remember that Saturday when my parents went away to a wedding?

And I told you no. It meant yes.

But what difference does it make now?

You've got your life, I've got mine.

Maybe there's still something there, a speck, something, but...

-Petrica, what are you doing here? -Kiss her, you writer!

Make out with her, don't you see she wants it?

What are doing here, man?

What are doing here?

-I came to punch you in the face. May I? -Petrica, go home!

I'm really not joking.

Stay a bit longer, we very much enjoy seeing you.

Why do you want to punch me in the face?

-'Cos I feel like it. -Please, go home, Petrica!

Shut it, bitch, or you're next.

I'm speaking quietly so as not to get you in trouble with the neighbors.

Me in trouble? Or you?

How about that mouth of yours!

Don't worry, I'm not going to cause trouble.

I've been drinking, but I'm not drunk.

Get off me!

Why are you looking at me like that?

What am I?

A plasterer, a piece of shit, in other words, eh?

I want to travel the world with you, Paula. On me.

-What's got into you? -Petrica's paying.

Leave me alone.

So go together. What do you want from me, anyway?

-What's this guy doing here? -Calm down. What do you mean?

He walked me home. Now I have to justify myself to you?

When I say shut up, you shut the fuck up!

Shut your fucking mouth.

I'm not talking to you. Right now I've got business with Paula.

Calm down! Leave him alone!

When you're not here, who do you think walks her home?

You don't know, do you?

She comes alone, smartass, in the dark, 'cos she's a brave girl.

If she were afraid of the dark,

I'd have bought her a torch, problem solved.

Right, princess, we'd have solved the problem, no?

What's got into you? I'll call the police! Petrica, stop, I'll call the police!

Shut up! Each time you open your mouth, I'll fucking hit you! Shut it!

Don't you see he's covered in blood? Rip your shirt and bandage his face!

See to him! Don't you hear, bitch?

Fuck you!

You just don't get it!

Shut up! Do me this pleasure. Shut it!

Oh, man.

Robby, aren't you my friend?

Aren't we brothers?

Didn't I take care of you?

How many punches did I take because of you?

Tell me!

That's right, isn't it? Could you ever get mad at me?

See how stupid you are?

I did it for you, you idiot. For you.

Because you loved him, and you still love him.

That's not true.

He couldn't give a shit about all you gave him.

If the man doesn't love you, what can you do?

It's not even his fault in the end, is it?

Fuck it all!

If I saw that this idiot didn't want me, I said screw it, what else could I do?

And this stupid girl of ours, what's she doing now?

Selling beer in a store and crying after you.

What a shitty fucking life.

Fuck both of you, I'm going home to cry with my family.

I'm a family man. I've got a wife and kids, understand?

Let me look.

Come inside, to wash. Come inside.

When I did the changes to the house, I had to get larger drains put in.

Some laborers came and I asked Petrica to install the shower.

He did the tiles as well.

He stayed overnight.

Why are you telling me that for?

After that he pursued for me a year, he asked me to marry him,

said he loved me since high school.

I never liked Petrica, I don't know what got into me.

Then I told him I was still in love with you.

I see.

-To get rid of him. -Very good.

And he got very angry and after that we never spoke again.

I don't know what got into him.

What happened to you?

None of your business. See about that room service.

Fine.

Give me a cigarette.

I haven't smoked for ages.

Listen, for 25 years, all I knew was washing and cooking.

Lay the table, clear the table.

Breakfast in the morning, soup for lunch, then the main course.

Soup was mandatory. He had stomach problems.

In the evening, supper before 7, otherwise he'd get a headache.

Until one Saturday when he told me: "I'm leaving on Monday."

And come Monday morning, he was gone.

Because I didn't have anything to say to you.

At home, at Dad's.

Yes, I know that home is at your house.

Our house, I mean.

Don't worry, my night was just as beautiful.

A slave, that's what I was.

All his life, he saved, and I saved along with him.

So what? What did that get me?

I've got a house in Bucharest that's empty and that I don't need any more.

I don't even want to see it anymore.

I've got no children...

and I came here to live.

I'm telling you all this so you won't be angry with me.

What business have I got with you?

How should I know? That's how it is, if you say so.

-What can I say? -Or maybe it's something worse?

What's it to you?

Fine. I won't ask you anything else.

She's pregnant. I found out yesterday. The day before yesterday.

She wants the child badly, I don't, we got into a fight, and...

So you came here.

You ran away.

-Sort of, yeah. -Nasty!

I know.

You'll be a father now.

Kind of, yes, looks that way.

How many rooms does it have?

Three, plus a hall, on the second floor.

We'll see.

Can I have another cigarette, please?

Maybe I'll start smoking again.