Original subtitles

It's time for Minare Koda's Wave, Listen to Me!

The current time is 3:30 AM.

People, what do you want this late at night?

Oh, hello. This is Minare Koda in charge of bringing you live noise from Sapporo.

There you go. That was the innocuous intro you all wanted.

But I must confess right now...

I'm... being glared at...

...by a brown bear.

No, I'm not at a zoo. I'm in the mountains!

By a stream!

By a stream that looks about 15 meters wide.

"About 15 meters"

By the way, I forgot to mention that we're presenting live from Mt. Sapporo tonight.

I'm...

...not too sure...

...if I will make it through tonight's broadcast alive!

"Wave, Listen to me!"

How strange. Despite my situation,

"Episode 1: I'll Never Forgive You"

I'm still receiving messages left and right for some reason.

Well... I'll just have to use my softest voice, so I won't attract attention from the bear.

I'll keep going as long as my life lasts.

"Good evening, Minare. I've been your listener since your very first chaotic episode.

Last week, I confessed my love to my senior at the office and was rejected big time.

I really wanted it to work out.

But now I wish I could hit the reset button.

But no. Hence why I'm a total mess right now.

Conversations have been awkward since then.

The National Tax Agency gets a million yen from me every year.

How do they operate without offering a reset function?!

Where am I supposed to go now? The Minister of Health, Labor and Welfare?!"

Well...

I'm in the middle of being glared at by a brown bear.

So let me be direct.

I suggest that you find healing from reading former sumo champion Master Naruto's blog.

"Good evening. My name is Busamen, and I'm a fashion student at vocational school.

The girl I'm dating right now is a wonder. She just smells so good.

Well, actually, her armpit and 'down there' attracts butterflies!

They lay eggs there every morning.

It freaks me out.

Is my girlfriend a goddess or something? Am I to start a religion now?"

Um...

Well...

So about that bear in front of me... Um...

I suggest you read Master Naruto's blog to find peace as well.

"Peer pressure from cooked pineapple-haters is driving me nuts."

Okay! Let me tell you all again!

I'm confronted by a bear right now

and I don't even know if I'm going to make it out alive tonight.

It's quite possible that I'll be torn into pieces in a minute.

I'm trying to offer counsel to you all despite this situation.

Oh... My silly life is about to end right now.

So I'm begging you people. Please, give me something serious

so I can feel a little fulfillment from giving profound advice!

"There's always a looming sense of doom when it comes to my future.

Miss Minare, are you familiar with that feeling?"

What is this fluff?

It's fluffier than that souffle omelet they offer at Hoshino Coffee!

You get weak-willed when you're out of shape!

Take up Kyokushin karate... Or even a smart balance wheel!

"Frustrated going cold turkey, I picked a fight with some kids.

I ended up getting beat up for two hours straight.

I'm a mess. Please help."

I prescribe you to read former sumo champion Master Naruto's blog!

Trust me, it works better than some crook therapist!

Damn it...

When I only have five more minutes to go!

It's coming for me!

Okay... The next message...!

"Good evening, Miss Minare.

I'm a married office worker living in Sapporo.

I'm 26 years old, just like you!

There's a man, Mr. B, who works on the same floor as me. He's a year older and married.

We hit it off because we were married for the same number of years.

We would chat about our marriage during our breaks.

As we spent more time together, we grew closer, until we had se--"

"We started to have an affair.

I was filled with deep satisfaction which I haven't felt with my husband for years.

I was terrified for enjoying this lapse of virtue.

Three days later, Mr. B invited me to a hotel again.

But I rejected him.

I was afraid of drowning in this pit any further."

Oh? There's the shift in air. It's about to get good.

Great, mixing this is going to be a pain.

"My husband is nice, and I don't want to leave him at all.

But I have better chemistry with Mr. B."

What was that shout for?

She's supposed to pant weakly until we fade out with the sound of the bear chewing.

So what's this about?

A terrible plot like always. Jeez.

No, I can see it.

Miss Minare...

She's fighting the bear!

"Should I spend the rest of my life with my faithful husband?

Or should I entrust my future to the temptations of lust?

Because I surrendered to my sexual desires and chose a dishonest man who's just a cute face..."

At this moment, I'm forced to fight a bear!

Honesty! There's no greater virtue in this world!

Wake up!

Next message!

Take that!

"I'm a 41-year-old office worker.

I've been really feeling the effects of aging in my body these days."

"Before going to bed, it's been my ritual

to take a walk around the neighborhood wearing a coat and nothing else.

But alas, I was caught red-handed and arrested the other day."

"I used to be able to outrun them in my 30's.

My wife silently handed me the divorce papers and my daughter told me to die."

"Setting aside the fact I'm the reason she's able to eat every day,

I still want to keep working and provide for her until she becomes an adult.

Do we have any sounds of injured bears?

We don't. We'll just have to process a dog's cry.

Miss Minare, I'd appreciate some encouragement to help with my anxiety."

Keep yourself alive!

Just be true to yourself! Age doesn't matter!

Settle the things you need to do, and you'd feel young at 60!

Even if you fall all the way to the bottom,

if you live your life earnestly, someone will help you no matter what.

I also... I really want to strive for that...

When I think about it...

...most everyone around me is like that...

But then, why... did I...

...choose to be with an asshole?!

That's because... people are...

...mirrors for each other...

It happens every time...

You project your own feelings to the listeners during the ad-lib portion.

Ah, well anyway, good job for now.

So why am I doing this again...?

Seriously! It's tough breaking up with a guy after 25!

Besides my parents' death,

I'm confident that I'm capable of getting over any tragedy in five days.

However, I'm always the biggest mess on the fifth day.

It indicates certain things, you know? Right, Mr. Mato?

Yeah... Sure, I get it.

This is Mr. Kanetsugu Mato. A total stranger I met just 40 minutes ago.

Mr. Mato, want me to guess your age?

You're 53!

Wrong, 49.

How did you come up with that number?

The shape of your eyebrows are identical to my father's, so I assumed you were the same age.

My, you're young!

Mitsuo was...

Oh, that's my ex.

He was a Fukuoka native.

Hey, just like me.

No! I just got this close to hating you, Mr. Mato.

Give me this chicken wing so I can restore faith in you.

I've never met a freeloader like this before.

You know how they say Fukuoka's known for beauties, right?

So the jerk dissed me saying,

"Comparing you to the girls from my hometown, your face is baseball's Ono-level."

Ono? Ah, he was in Nippon Ham.

And I'm like, "What are you trying to say?"

"Ono's won the Gold Glove Award... In your face!"

Even though he's with Chunichi now...

There are lots of beautiful women in Hokkaido, too.

Miwa Yoshida, YUKI, and Miho Yabe are all from Hokkaido, right?

Oh yeah, and Hikaru Utada's mother, too.

Your great idol knowledge is suspect!

I wouldn't call them idols... It's because of my job.

But anyway, you should know the celebrities from your town.

Mr. Mato...

Seriously, though... I hate it when people bring stereotypes into relationships.

That's where my memory stops.

But it's nothing new.

What's that...?

Blood...?

Oh... It's just lipstick...

Even if I drink until I black out...

I don't just crash at the front door. I even neatly place my shoes side-by-side.

Would he have loved me more if I was a little more of the self-destructive type?

Whoa...!

No... Give me a break. I'm almost fully recovered...

I just know I'll feel better after forcing out a good cry.

Ugh. Just die!

That's right! Now's the time.

My friend recommended it saying, "If you don't cry to this, you're not human."

The breakup happened before I got to watching it... It stars Demi Moore...

"Ghost Blood Shower"

I'm worried I won't be able to cry...

But right now... Any pure love story flick will pierce my heart.

Great! I cried! But that was a gory movie...

"Message To: Yuri Subject: I watched Ghost I finally watched it. It was great. When the man gets possessed by an evil spirit at the end, that was so traumatic! Anyway, where was Demi Moore?"

"Sending..."

"Sent"

All right! Now that I cried it out, it's back to the battlefield.

I told you I'll fire you if you're late three times this month.

You do realize this is the third strike, right?

How does it feel?

Please don't count it when I'm heartbroken.

No excuses! Cut the crap!

Just hurry up and write that blog post!

Was it brioche?

It's pletyonka and pão de queijo !

The current forecast for Sapporo is partly cloudy, but, well, it looks pretty sunny to me.

"(^_^;) Announcing VOYAGER's bread of the month!"

"It's Russian pletyonka and Brazilian pão de queijo !"

"It has a bread happiness level of five stars! Wow, that's quite high!"

Damn it! What the hell is "bread happiness level"?

Who cares about your happiness?!

I'm back. I just had the meeting about the summer festival.

Welcome back. How did it go?

We'll be at the same place as last year.

Ah... Miss Minare...

Sorry I couldn't go drinking with you last night.

Well, it all turned out okay.

I was escorted by a middle-aged man, far better than you!

What? What kind of guy was he?

He's got a charming mustache and works in media.

He was delightfully dubious, and plus... his charming mustache!

You can barely recall anything.

Oh, shut up. I remember exchanging cards...

Ah, he works in radio.

I thought he worked in television.

Anyway, he dealt with me, so I should message him thanks.

Wait, MRS...?

Hello, everyone. Thanks for tuning in to MRS,

Moiwayama Radio at 12 o'clock for Madoka Chishiro's September Blue Moon.

Oh, I've got some news for you today. It happened.

It's my eighth year driving and I made a cardinal mistake

that relinquished my "responsible driver" status.

Wow, this bread is delicious.

Excuse me, what is this bread called?

It's a classic Brazilian bread called pão de queijo .

Wow.

Is this your first time here?

Oh, yes.

There aren't many restaurants out there

that offer such variety of breads with the soup curry.

Sapporo's the battleground for curry.

At the end of the day, the manager was right.

Removing the Asian image of curry restaurants attracts more female customers.

His calculation really nailed it. Our reputation's great, too.

I told you not to mention things like "battleground" and "calculation"!

"Dreams." You say, "a dream space of bread and curry"!

Sorry! I just love behind-the-scenes talk, you know?

"Retribution of Female TV Announcers" was my show!

Moving on to our next segment...

Behind-the-scenes talk is the way to go.

Especially in this day and age where all ostentation gets roasted on the internet.

Plus, what makes it a "dream space" when you play FM radio all day?

Better off playing bossa nova covers of J-pop tunes.

You'd quit that kind of place in a heartbeat, Miss Minare.

It's sounding like a tacky segment,

True.

but let's give it a listen!

Seriously, though... I hate it when people bring stereotypes into relationships.

I know I'm talking to a man from Fukuoka, but, jeez, first-born sons from Kyushu are the worst!

This woman kinda sounds like you, Miss Minare.

They're the most selfish guys ever!

Doesn't it?

Huh?

They were obviously spoiled rotten growing up!

What...?!

I heard there are more women than men in Fukuoka.

That was obvious to me when I dated him. He's the "domineering husband" type!

Ah... Huh...?!

Huh?

I'm not saying everyone from Fukuoka is like that.

Look at you, Mr. Mato. You're a very generous person accompanying me while I vent.

Anyway, that behavior comes from the "I get to choose" stance mentality, you know?

Women are "to be chosen."

M-Miss Minare! Wait!

Where are you going, storming out of work like that?

Tell the manager I'm off to a meeting about the summer festival food stall.

That's what I just came back from!

Miss Minare!

One day, he tells me with his most serious face

that he has to go back home because his father fell ill.

His father is a president of a factory, and an employee ran with the money.

So he's telling me in tears that his checks would bounce.

And how he can't let this humiliate his father as the first-born son.

At the time, I was impressed.

Well, because that was the first time I appreciated how he was from Hakata.

That this was something I should admire.

I should've ended things right there.

But no! Silly me, I wanted to help him out and so I gave it to him!

Five hundred thousand yen!

Can you believe it?

I'm sure you already know where this is going.

And as you suspected, that story he fed me was 100% lies!

That jerk! He didn't even go back home. And he wasn't even short on cash!

Die!

Just die!

Just yesterday, my friend told me she saw him

acting friendly with another girl while we were dating.

Why didn't she tell me earlier?!

So what did he use my money for?

Who knows.

Excuse me...!

This guy! Let me talk to this guy on the card!

Do you have an appointment?

I don't, but I've got every right to see him!

Um... I'll notify him now. Please wait a moment.

According to the internet,

Oh? You're here.

one in three people want to become celebrities in Fukuoka.

What?

Who?

Mr. Mato... Who is this?

Oh, wait!

And they're dead serious.

You can say that they have big dreams.

Hey! Show me how to stop this thing!

But actually, they're just over-confident.

Hey, miss. I'm sure you know since this is common sense,

They're totally full of themselves!

but in radio, we have the three-second rule.

Three seconds of silence is a gaffe; eight seconds of silence will get me canned.

Guys like that with their head in the clouds believe they can

If you're going to stop it, make it worth your while.

change a girl's life from baseless reasoning.

What?

Chishiro, have her take over for a minute.

Even when they're already in a relationship!

Ah. Yes.

Director, come on! She's a total amateur!

It's sad but true... girls always fall for the assholes.

Whoa, chill out.

If someone calls in to complain about this, radio is dead.

I'm not saying I was one of those girls, but the girl he cheated with was.

Right, Kureko?

It's your show.

Do what you want.

They're the ones who enable these Hakata guys to dominate them!

It's the segment where we play amateurs' stories anyway.

There's not much time, so listen up.

I'm so fed up! I want to date a guy from Hokkaido next!

Forget shochu , it's all about local brews!

That box with the lever is called the cough box.

You see how it's turned off?

Genghis Khan over Japanese Black wagyu!

Salmon stew over meat hot pot! Yo Oizumi over Masaharu Fukuyama!

Pull that lever up, and your voice will go on air.

We'll cue you when to switch.

Fukuyama's from Nagasaki.

Look right in front of you.

No. There, on the side.

That thing that looks like almond jelly is the cue lamp.

When that lights up, pull the lever up within a second and start talking.

Mr. Mato, I'll handle the cough box.

Ah, that'd be great. Thanks.

Start talking when I tap your back, okay?

What...? Okay!

Listen, miss. The ex who left you and your future boyfriend

may be listening to this broadcast.

Slam those words down.

All right, go!

A-Ah! Hello!

Everyone! You just endured through my never-ending drunken blabber.

But this idiot made a huge mistake!

I didn't mean to disrespect the men of Fukuoka at all!

I believe there's nothing crueler than the act of categorizing people.

Kyushu guys are dominant, Hokkaido-borns are stubborn,

Tokyo-borns are cold, blood type B's are shit!

Those statements strip out any possibility of understanding an individual!

I dismissed my ex's behavior by surrendering to the man's society.

It was the easy way out!

By categorizing and giving up, I didn't have to deal with facing his flaws.

I'm pretty sure he treated me the same as well.

As a result, he left me by practically committing a crime!

Have you heard of a more tragic relationship?

I've decided! No matter where my next partner is from,

I will never let boring stereotypes prevent me from experiencing them as a unique individual!

The passion of youth...

And please let me say one last thing.

Mitsuo! I will kill you even If I have to chase you down to the end of the earth!

What did you think of the commendable first episode of Minare Koda's Wave, Listen to me?

"Next Episode"

"Preview"

What? Why's it the same name as the anime?

Oh, give me a break.

Today's last line was:

"Mitsuo! I will kill you even If I have to chase you down to the end of the earth!"

Oh, I have a bad feeling about the prospect of my future partners.

Like, I want all the episodes of my relationships with men

to be cut when I look back on my life from my deathbed.

But of course, all the worst parts are going to be edited together as highlights, right?

What is this, Cinema Paradiso ?!

Next, on Wave, Listen to Me! : "I Despise Them."

"See you next time!"

"Illustrated by Hiroaki Samura"