Original subtitles

♪ If you're lookin' for me ♪

♪ You'd better check Under the sea ♪

♪ 'Cause that is where You'll find me ♪

♪ Underneath the sealab ♪

♪ Underneath the water ♪

♪ Sealab At the bottom of the sea ♪♪

CAPTAIN: Bored, bored, bored, bored,

bored, bored, bored, bored, bored, bored, bored.

Hello, captain.

Marco.

Hey, buddy, you want to...

I don't know, hang out, or play a game?

I'm a little busy here, sir,

trying to keep a trillion-dollar

research station running smoothly.

Ooh, fun. I'll be the mommy.

Beep-beep!

What's that?

You need the captain right away?

What was that?

Emergency in the Tank Room.

Better get down there, sir.

I didn't hear anything.

No time, sir.

Hurry! Run!

Away!

Madre Mia. What an idiot.

CAPTAIN: I'm here. I'm here.

What's the emergency?

Uh, looks like Marco got you again, sir.

Oh, jeez. That mailbox head.

Well, um, can I play with you guys?

Not now, sir.

We're about to go out on patrol.

Neat-o! Hey, I'll make a boxed lunch.

Yeah, you do that.

Uh... Oh.

I get it.

Ditched.

CHILD: Life's a ditch.

Oh, hi, orphans. Wanna play or, uh...

Shag off! [BELCHES]

Hmm.

[TO THE TUNE OF BEETHOVEN'S 5th] ♪ Buh-buh-buh-bored ♪

♪ Buh-buh-buh-bored ♪

♪ Buh-buh-buh-bored Buh-buh-buh-bored ♪

♪ Buh-buh-buh-bored ♪

Bored, bored, bored, bored, bored, bored, bored, bored...

Bored!

Hey, do you mind?

I'm listening to the radio.

But I'm bored.

Why aren't you listening to me?

Because...

I am listening... to the radio.

[GASPS]

The radio.

You, hey.

[WHISTLES] Drone.

Uh, yeah.

My name is, uh, Ted, from accounting.

Well, then you should know how to launch

the 10-gigawatt emergency radio beacon.

Uh, no, not really, sir.

I'm Ted. From accounting?

And I've heard great things, Kevin.

Now, less lip and more launch.

All right. Okay.

You're the boss.

The beacon

is on the surface, sir.

Are we cool here?

Full power.

Juice that baby all the way up, Cedric.

Well, it's in the red now, sir. It's, uh...

[LAUGHING] You know what I'm talking...

"It's in the red."

I'm from Accounting.

[LAUGHING]

[CHUCKLING]

Yeah...

Uh...

Uh, no.

No, I don't.

[BEACON PINGING]

Is this thing on?

[FEEDBACK WHINES]

All right, sea monkeys!

This is "Howlin' Mad" Murphy.

You can run, but you can't hide,

because I am live and worldwide

with 10-gigawatts of radio waves that won't behave,

and you can't ignore me anymore, people.

[WOLF HOWLING]

I... will... be... heard!

MALE ROCK SINGER: ♪ We're the Name And we're coming to your town ♪

♪ We ain't here But to mess around ♪

♪ I'm not there Till you look 'round ♪

[BEACON PINGING, LOUD ROCK MUSIC CONTINUES]

Captain Murphy, I...

Shh. Coming out.

All right, sea monkeys.

You're on the prowl with "Howlin' Mad" Murphy,

so get your fignuts on.

MALE VOICE: Fignuts...

Hey, jerk face.

You don't just barge into the booth

when I'm on the air.

Booth?

Wait a second.

Are you using the emergency beacon

to run a pirate radio station?

Aw, crap.

Listen, Fignuts.

The tour is either in the commissary by now,

or in the Howlin' Mad gift shop.

Right. Two things...

One, you're sucking up all the power.

And two, if the FCC finds out...

So, some shrivelly bureaucrats make me pay

a stupid fine.

Big deal.

I see you're not familiar with their new tactics,

which are unspeakably wicked.

[MARCO LAUGHING]

TECHNICIAN: Scanner's going off, captain.

We've picked up

a pirate radio signal.

Yo, lock in on it, son.

Here at the FCC,

it's our job

to eliminate illegal radio stations

and inappropriate language.

Yeah, well, uh... thanks a lot

for the [BEEP]ing backstory.

Well, you watch your [BEEP]ing mouth,

you [BEEP].

Ooh, how can I put this?

Uh... [BEEP] you. Sir.

[BEACON PINGING]

CAPTAIN: Okay, sea monkeys,

this is "Howlin' Mad" Murphy

and his zany sidekick, Spark Plug!

Say hey, Spark Plug!

You're supposed to say, "Hey, Spark Plug."

It's a bit.

Oh, yeah. Okay.

[PHONE RINGING]

You're not gonna do it, are you?

No, no, no, Skip. I am, really.

Uh, you ready?

Yeah.

[SILENCE]

[PHONE RINGING]

Okay.

[PHONE RINGING]

Go ahead, caller. You're on with the Zoo Patrol.

[ANIMAL NOISES PLAYING]

CALLER: Hey, this is Larry, from...

[HONK]

Where's Moe and Curly, Fignuts?

[MANIACAL LAUGHTER]

[HONK]

Anyway... Yeah?

I got a joke for you, Howlin' Mad.

Okay.

A priest... Yeah. Mm-hmm.

A nun... Sure.

And a rabbi are... Go to hell.

Hey, sea monkeys!

Time for a wacky prank phone call!

[TELEPHONE DIALING]

You seen the ratings, Spark Plug?

Number eight, baby, and climbing.

[RINGING]

MAN: Fire Tower Number Seven.

This is Ranger Roger.

How may I help you?

CAPTAIN: Hey, dummy!

There's a raging forest fire!

What?

All the animals are burning!

Oh, my God. The cute squirrels!

Ha.

Consider yourself zinged.

CHORUS: ♪ The zing of the day ♪

[ANIMAL NOISES PLAYING]

[LAUGHING] You got me!

"Howlin' Mad" Murphy, I love you.

You know, you're my whole morning.

Oh, stop it. I'm getting misty.

[BULLET ZINGING]

[WOLF HOWLING]

[ROCK MUSIC PLAYING]

♪ I'm a man with the plan I'm a man on the way ♪

♪ I'm a man with the plan ♪

♪ I'm a man with the plan I'm a man on the way ♪

♪ I'm a man with the plan ♪♪

[WOLF HOWLING]

We're closing in on the signal, sir.

And then we'll drop the hammer, right?

Huh?

Uh, yeah. Yeah.

Uh, yeah, we're gonna drop the hammer.

Hey, uh, does this make me look fat?

No.

But your ass does!

[LAUGHING]

Your ass...

[STOPS LAUGHING]

[CLEARS THROAT]

I'll go swab the deck.

[BEACON PINGING]

CAPTAIN: Fignuts...

Hey, congratulations. You're the fifth caller.

What's your name?

My name's Jack.

Great!

Because that's just what you're getting...

Jack!

I'm looking for the sixth caller, jackass.

[BULLET ZINGING]

[MANIACAL LAUGHTER]

"Howlin' Mad" Murphy, I love you.

You're a bigger suck-up than that stupid forest ranger.

He's talking about me!

Oh, oh... eep.

[PHONE RINGING ON THE AIR]

This is Howlin' Mad. Go ahead, caller.

[DOLPHIN YIPPING]

Oh, it's you again, huh, Dolphin Boy?

Well, cram it, fat stuff.

[BOINK]

[BOINK]

People, people, people.

Nothing makes Howlin' Mad more mad than fatties.

[PIGS SNORTING]

Captain Murphy, I...

Except maybe this guy.

Hey, sea monkeys, it's that jerk-face Marco.

[CROWD CHEERING]

What?

Spark Plug, quit messing up my carts.

[PEOPLE BOOING]

See? You ruined the timing.

As I was saying...

[MANIACAL LAUGHTER]

As I was say...

[ELEPHANT TRUMPETS]

As I was...

[MONKEY SCREECHES]

Before I was interrupted...

[PIGS SQUEALING]

[GRUNTS]

I'm pretty sure...

[CAT MEOWS]

[CAPTAIN LAUGHS] All right.

The FCC has closed in on your signal.

And you'd...

Shut up.

It's time for the "I Hate Marco Show."

CHORUS: ♪ I hate Marco Hate Marco ♪

♪ Hate Marco And his mailbox head ♪

[PHONE RINGS]

Go ahead, caller.

Tell me why you hate Marco.

Hi, Howlin' Mad. Yes, sir.

Longtime listener... Mm-hmm.

First-time... Yeah.

Caller. Mm-hmm.

The reason I hate Marco is...

Yeah?

He's a mailbox head?

[PEOPLE BOOING]

Oh, yeah, real original. Sit on it, Potsie.

[TOILET FLUSHING]

I can't believe I choked.

[QUINN AND SALLY LAUGHING]

Freak.

Dumb-ass.

[PHONE RINGING ON THE AIR]

Okay, caller, why do you hate Marco?

Attention,

pirate radio station. Yes, sir?

This is an FCC Search and Destroy vessel.

Yeah?

And you are violating FCC regulations.

Mm-hmm?

This is your last chance to end

your [BEEP]ing transmission.

CAPTAIN: Hey! Hey! Hey!

I don't know who you ladies are, but I run a clean show here.

Maybe this will clean

your dirty little mouth out, Fignuts...

[TOILET FLUSHING]

Oh... oh, that really [BEEP]ing tears it.

Drop the [BEEP]ing hammer.

[ROCK MUSIC PLAYING]

[BOMB TICKING]

Flush that, you bitch.

The hammer! I knew it!

Once again, your stupidity has killed us.

Yeah, I know. Zinged you.

[BULLET ZINGING]

CHORUS: ♪ The ultimate zing ♪♪

[WOLF HOWLING]

[BOMB TICKING]

CAPTAIN: Oh, shi...

Wait a second.

Where was I?

Uh, I think you were [BEEP]ing an orangutan.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, that's legal in Tijuana.

Anyway, then that broad, [BEEP]...

while I [BEEP]ed

with his only [BEEP].

And then we [BEEP]ed.

That's, uh, one messed up [BEEP].

You watch your [BEEP]ing mouth!

That's my wife you're talking about.

Wait! Mom was a [BEEP]?

Aye.

And I wouldn't trade her for a [BEEP],

or you either, my boy.

You may be the son of a [BEEP],

but by God, you're my own flesh and blood.

[BEEP]... [BEEP, BEEP]

[MAN CHUCKLING]

Fignuts.