Original subtitles

[music playing]

, [music playing]

[music playing]

and we're matching

[Music]

[Laughter]

I love that we're matching

I love it, I love it, I love it

We're gonna have so much fun tonight

[Music]

Promise will help us tonight

Thank you brother, thanks for having us

[Laughter]

She's here!

[Music]

Sorry, my mom made me

She said I had to bring my brother

Okay, you have something to explain

I know, you do too

[Music]

Since you know my parents are going uptown

and they made me bring him

you don't have any control over anything

He's such a merry-go-round woman

How are we?

Oh my gosh, okay

It's fine

[Music]

You swim over there

Yeah, no, no, boy

No

The couch is so small

No, no boys are allowed on the beds

You heard them

House rules

Fine, whatever

You could still be a part of it

Oh no, it's fine

I'll just be spooning with little Wonderhoof, I guess

[Sighs]

Right

He just, he is

He is

She's so cute

Thank you

I'm gonna start

I love all the sessions

Oh my gosh, guys, I love all of our outfits

I know you guys look so cute, you're matching

Yeah, me and my sister, we loved Matt

He's really cute

We do

Oh, and even the coordinated thuds, we loved that

Yes

So what's the plan for tonight?

I think we should watch a movie

Okay

Yeah, I mean, first, definitely

Slide into the sleepover with a little movie

Maybe we can paint

Yes

Yes

Yes, I love that

Oh my gosh, this would be so cute

We need to like give ourselves little like massages

and everything

Yeah

It's so scary tonight

Yeah, my shoulders are pretty tense

Yeah

Maybe

Nicky can help us a little bit with that

Maybe

[Sighs]

Let's paint

Yes

Maybe

What do you want?

Come down to our easels

The fuck's the easel?

Those things over there

Right next to

With these things?

Mm-hmm

Yeah

Oh, of course, yes, yes

How could I forget just your easels, Your Majesty

Of course

Of your easels

You go your eyes

There

We need to paint as well

Duh

Paint?

Yeah

Yeah, how are we supposed to paint?

The acrylic?

Well, can you use your periods or something?

Oh

All right, give me your paint, all right, here

That's why you stay on the couch

Exactly why you're on the couch

Sorry, you're showing away

Anyways, aren't these cute?

Oh, I'm so ready

Let's do this

So, what are we going to be drawing, guys?

I think I'm going to draw a straw baby

That's so cute

Yeah

That's cute

What are you guys writing?

I think we need a bunny

You guys have such good ideas

I really don't know what I'm going to draw

I might just start just scribbling on it

Who knows?

Can you draw a freestyle?

Just let it come to you

Oh

A stronger body

That's such a good thing

I think I see our hater, but

Yeah, like, right here, Haiti

Well, they're not even at the party

So, oh, I don't know why they're hating

I didn't even know what paint it was

I don't know why he's not

Can he paint?

Oh, my gosh, did you hear about how John

was caught in the stairwell with his pants down?

Are you serious?

When?

Like, two days ago

That's why he hasn't been in class

That would make so much sense

Can you know what else I heard about John?

He cheated on his girlfriend

Yes, you guys can't tell nobody

Okay

Guess who is

the new science teacher?

I know, I know, it's crazy

And I know

Guess how I found out too?

Yeah

I literally seen them in her classroom

during lunch break

They were in there and I was like

I was looking and I was like

Details! What were they doing in there?

And they were

She was in there

Oh!

Yes

I knew she was a slut

Just the way she dresses

I was like, you're a slut, why aren't you even here?

That's insane

The stuff that I hear in the teacher lounge

because you know, a little teacher's pet

Oh my gosh

They are dirty in there

And they're so dirty

Because John got caught in the stairwell

Getting head from guess who?

Rebecca

Rebecca and the teacher?

Rebecca is the head cheerleader, isn't she?

Yeah, and she's a slut

Wait, we doubled back, I didn't know she was a slut

My gosh, can you mind your business?

You're not even going to be here

All of them cross conversations

I know, this is an ABC conversation

Right

So what are we going to be doing for prom night?

I don't know

Does anybody have a date?

I'm waiting for Justin to ask me out

Yeah

I'm waiting for Jerome to ask me out

Guys, we were supposed to go all together

I mean, we can, you know

But I still want to go with a guy

because I might give it up that night

No

Yeah, I mean, we've been talking for a while

Really?

When do you think he's going to ask?

I think he's going to ask before the weekend

Because if he doesn't, then I'm just going to force him

Force him?

Yes, girl

That's how you get what you want?

Exactly

Are we going to go to the football game?

When is it again?

I think they said it was the 25th

I think I'm going to test the next day

Yeah, I've got to turn to my homework

Girl, just skip the test

Girl, you know what?

Bob, if you give him five bucks

he'll do it for you

Yeah?

Yeah, I'm probably going to give him five bucks

You might not work

Oh my gosh, I need more people like that

Yeah

That's pretty cheap

And then if you don't have any money

honestly, if you just give him one of your shoes

and let him sniff it

he'll do it for free

Oh, he's a shoe sniffer?

Yeah, he's a big shoe sniffer

You know, I've always thought about that

of him

He seems like that little weirdo

Oh yeah, he is

Big time

and don't even get me started on like socks

He goes crazy to here

Okay, guys

I have to tell you something

Guess what teacher?

Tessie

Who?

Mr.

What was his name?

The new teacher?

Mr. Andrews

Yes, yes

He's like 25

Oh my gosh

I can't believe it

And he's kind of hot

But I haven't texted him back yet

I don't know what to say

He asked me if I was going to the homecoming

Honestly, John's kind of a slut

Kind of

He's the slut of the school

He's more than just a slut

I know about three to four different girls

And they said

They're all tiny

Yes

I've seen a lot of Dicks

Yes, yes

It's because he's cute

Yeah, I mean I guess

But like kind of cute

So I've all been great

Eww

You know who I've been wanting

To give us for so long

Who?

Josh

Josh?

Yes

Oh my gosh

The blonde hair guy

Yeah

He is so cute

And you've been texting recently

He's so hot

Are you guys on out?

Are you doing anything?

Well

We only like

You know

Like, I give him a head

Yeah

Oh my gosh

And let me tell you

One of Josh's friends has been asking me about you too

Me?

What does he ask?

Well, they made me just want to go like

Out with ya'll

I think they just want to try

Like to see which one they like

You know

I don't want to try

I think they just want to run a train

Cause that's what's like trending right now

And it's just like dude

I have class

Okay, I'm a classy girl

So many of the guys are horned on families

Yeah, like all I think about is like sex and shit

And just like throw like

Let's go to the movie

That's why I like Josh

He like

He takes me out

We do things together

Like he's not just those typical

Little boys

You know

He just wants to like

Pull out his pants and like bug

And it's just like bro, go on

Exactly, exactly

But yeah like come on

I have class like

Take me out to dinner parties

He's like weird

Come on, it's not that hard

And they always like complain and just

I know

So like bro

Just pull my hand and like

Kiss me on the cheek or something

That's so sweet

I know like

If only

If only you know those guys are

Hard to come by nowadays

You are, you know like

Especially for some reason in our school

They're like

It could be just because

I talked to a lot of the athletes

But the athletes in school

They are

All they ask me for

Is tippings

Yes, all they do

Like I don't even get a

Good morning beautiful deal

It's a good morning and without your tips

I know this is insane

I don't give up guys, my number

I just have to learn the hard thing

It's okay

Life is a learning lesson, you know

Yeah, she's crazy

You know what I think we should do?

We should, one of these days

We should go

Egg

Some people helps us out

Like, well mainly the boys

Because we don't like

We have to do this

Because you know what

They need to learn that

Exactly

Have some class, you know

Have some decor

It's not very demure

Very precious

You know, like

They need to learn that they need to take us out

We can't just keep doing everything for them

Right, like just want to

Be my ally

I literally forgot

Oh my gosh

When I was on the bus the other day

Guess who I see

The two people I see

Who?

On the bus?

Yes

Amber

And guess who the guy is

Oh my gosh

Matt

Matt?

Yes

Matt has a girlfriend

On the bus?

Yes

Oh no

They were literally under a blanket

And I was like

No way

I could never

Like, never

I took a little video of it

Like

Oh, what?

What horse?

What ace?

What?

So that's what I'm saying

And then I feel like I should tell his girlfriend

Oh yeah

Yeah, snitch

Totally

She doesn't like me, remember?

Oh

Oh

That's true

Oh

So it's like, if I go up to her and I tell her

She's not gonna believe me

Nah

Don't tell her

She's gonna think you're dating

Yeah

Exactly, she probably still thinks I'm on

Ew

What type of movie do we get so much?

Um

I've always done for a scary movie

I can't do scary movies

Yeah

Not at all

There's a new movie called

"Jew Your Shot"

You should watch

Yeah

I don't know

You're the male towns kind of a sort of actor

No one asked you

Whatever

I heard that actor sucks

Stop talking to me

Anyways, so we shouldn't watch

That's definitely not the best that one

Totally

Wee

Let me see your paintings

This one

Oh my god

Oh yours are so cute

Oh my god

I think she won

I think she won too

I think she won

Yeah, you won

You totally won

You totally won

whatever

Your strawberry is really cute

It's alright

But your bunny is adorable

Thanks

You guys did amazing

I just

I don't know what I was doing

You did your best

I did my best

And that's all about it

A for effort

Did we have fun?

We did

Amazing

So what's the movie called again?

"Jew Your Shot"

Yeah

"Jew Your Shot"

"Burns"

It's really good

You know

Yeah, you guys are gonna love it

Oh so you're the only one that's watched this so far?

Um, no

I've heard good things about it

Okay

And I've been wanting to watch it

So I'm glad that you guys were here

so we can watch it today

Yes

Let's do everything together

Oh alright

That's a lot of the type of thing that I know

No idea

Okay

Okay, I think I've had it

Yes

Yeah, that's it

It's that one right?

Okay

The graphics are like so dope

Yeah, it's already starting up

It's insane

Oh I love the actor

Oh yeah

He's so out of mood

Yes

Yeah

Have you seen that girl before?

She's in a one movie

But I've never seen her before

Have you seen her?

Yep

Yeah, I've never seen her before

Yeah, it's my first time too

But the actor, he is so beautiful

That guy

I don't know

He's kinda weird looking

No one asked you

Turn up the volume a little louder

Is that the actor?

Yes

Wait, can you turn it up and hear?

Yeah, you're right

The graphics are amazing

If it's going to be filled with action the entire time

This movie is great

Obviously, whoever made this movie did a great job

Call me my man

My man

That's crazy

Oh my gosh

That's why

See, this is what movies need to start doing a lot more often

Totally

And they had great actresses and actors

You know, she's doing a lot of amazing

I love her

And you said you've seen her before in another movie?

I don't know

I feel like I've seen her

But she's so pretty, I just think

She is so pretty

Mmm

See

No, that's gonna make me upset

Yeah, he really just left her

Insane

Insane

I'm sure he had his dreams in this movie

It's just the worst

Okay

I don't know why you have a reason to be talking right now

Right

Why are you asking that?

What do you mean?

State the place

That was funny

See, the reason why I love this movie

It's full of action

It's full of romance

It's full of love romance

It's suspense like, oh my gosh

What's gonna happen next?

Because if the dad comes out to be a killer

Oh my gosh, do you think?

Are we watching the same movie?

Oh my gosh

It was crazy

Can't believe the dad was the killer all along

They kinda knew it, like he looks dumb

It's so dumb

Even though he's hard

Yeah, the dad though

No matter if he was the killer or not

He's moving crazy

Insane

We need to have a number two come out

I think they do actually

Once we finish this, we have to watch the next one

With the same actors?

I'm not sure, I don't remember

What if in the next one the son is the killer?

That would be insane

That would be wild

Seriously, are we watching the same movie?

Yeah, why is he still talking like, bro?

Anyways

My gosh, I love your dress

Yeah, I think so

I have a pair just like that

You have to show me to this

What shoes?

Yeah, I feel like...

I would wear purple shoes

Or white

Oh yeah, white and bluish

That's it

It's kind of artificial

I hope she doesn't die

What if she does die?

What if that's a ghost outfit?

Plot twist

Oh my gosh

I hope that doesn't happen

The suspense is killing me

I think I love the suspense

That's the best part about the movie

Yeah, but like it's just like action, suspense

Like romance

You're not going on right now

I just can't believe that he cheated on his mom

Esprit is like...

Why?

Like that's not sweet

Why is everybody so just blood in his mood?

I don't even know

They're blood, this is blood

The theme of today is people are blood

Slytherin

There's too much

Slytherin?

So what's the next with babyBetaLunch?

That's question number two

Yeah, let's see if we can call it sequel

Yeah, perfect

Oh, I think I found it

Yeah, this one

I'm so happy we're doing this

Yeah, I love gross night

This is so fun

Yeah, it's hilarious

Did they change the actors?

They changed them

No

They should have kept the same actors

Do you think he's cuter or not?

No

I think the mustache was a choice

Yeah

The mustache was just kinda green all the time

A little bit, but maybe it'll work

Yeah, yeah, let's see

Maybe you'll die

Maybe after we get a new haircut

Yeah, something good happened

But they mainly kept everybody else stuffed

Yeah

The girls are pretty still

We really couldn't afford him this next time over

He's in that new movie

He got popular

I think that happens

I know, they just wanna finish the sequel

Exactly

I like, don't be popular yet

Like, wait

Then you can leave

Calm down

I'm so sick of the Juniors actors

I know

I feel it

I'm kind of enraged in the movie

Yeah, this one's in the drama series

Oh, it's not

The mustache is a running off

You wanna play?

Would you rather?

Yeah

Let's do that instead

Yeah, 'cause I'm getting a little bit bored

Yeah, me too

Okay, let's do that

I haven't played would you rather in Pages

No one asked you

Literally, no cares

Okay, so girls

Would you rather be unable to pee

without looking into someone else's eyes

or go on a family vacation to a nudist resort

Definitely not on the nudist resort

Yeah, that's fair

Yeah, I agree

I don't think I could look someone in the eyes while I piss

or while I piss

No, it's while I piss, I'm sorry

Wouldn't be able to do that

No

My turn

Be involved in a drive-by shooting

or have your STD test results become public records

You know

I think they would have to do a drive-by shooting

Really?

Yeah, yeah

Me personally

You know drive-by shootings

Drive-by shootings, instead?

Yeah

I don't know how I feel about that

No one asked you

Okay

Isn't it your turn to leave after this turn?

Well, yeah, it's my turn

Go

Okay

Would you rather have a highly skilled hitman

hired to kill you for the next 24 hours

or have your hands feel like they're covered in looph at all times

That's a shame

That's such a hard question

What do you think you'd say?

Definitely the lube

Yeah

Yeah, I think the lube

Yeah

The hand lube

The lotion

This is so fun

Yeah

Okay

So would you rather eat a popsicle made from the judges' urine

or

always let out a loud fart two minutes into sex?

Okay, wait, what was the first one?

Okay

So you eat a popsicle made from the judges' urine

I guess we'll find a judge

and make some P popsicles

or

always let out a loud fart two minutes into sex

A loud fart two minutes into sex

Party sex or PPP popsicles

Party sex

That's good

For sure

For sure

No, you wouldn't be anything out of the ordinary for me

Are you always farting?

Ew

Put on the beans

I think it's your turn

Ooh, have a bird poop in your mouth every time you yawn

Ew

Or develop a massive cold sore in your mouth every Monday

Oh, gosh

That is terrible

Hey, well, you know I do have that shitty eating grin

I would definitely

have to do a bird poop in your mouth every time you yawn

Yeah, I don't know, I'm not a good cold sore

Ah, me

I'm gonna just burp

Maybe a bird poop doesn't taste bad

That's what I'm talking about

Time for a tea

Probably

You would know

I'm just guessing

Your turn

Okay

Would you rather find a field of puppies with a steamroller

or have a naked picture of you published on the front page of New York Times

The naked picture

Yeah

I would feel like famous badass

if that was me

Some sexy baddie, not a cruel dog killer

Exactly

Okay

So would you rather watch a sexy of your significant other and their most recent acts

or take two shots of bleach

So would you rather watch a sexy of your current partner and her ex

I honestly, I would watch a sexy

I would watch a sexy

No, I wanna see how they held you this way

Oh exactly

Are they treating you the same way you were treated

Exactly

Exactly

Exactly

See, I love that

We all be glad

Okay

Okay

Get water-boarded at Guantanamo Bay?

Guantanamo Bay

Guantanamo Bay

Oh my gosh

So get water-boarded at Guantanamo Bay

Or get robbed at gunpoint 5% of the time when you leave your house after dark

Ooh

I mean, 5% of the time isn't bad

Exactly, and how long are you being water-boarded for

Facts

So, I mean you could also just not go after dark, it does say that

Exactly

No

That's simple fix

Yeah

Your turn

Can you pass me that?

Yeah

In here

I'm gonna pick in on it

Okay

Would you rather find your significant other on an escort site

Or open your laptop in a meeting only to discover that porn is playing at full volume

First one

She knows what she's doing, right?

I mean

They're both terrible

They're both bad

They're both bad

The part one can't be bad, that

I'm just kidding

Yeah

Are you supposed to close it right after?

Exactly

I pulled the volume

What do you mean?

The biggest one

I'm gonna have to pick the first one

I'll be watching some questionables

This is so much fun

So, would you rather have a spider crawling your ear and lay its eggs while you're asleep

Oh my gosh

Or cut off your nipples with a butter knife

Oh

Oh, there's no way

Oh my gosh

Infested ears or no nipples

Oh

Wow, you know

You're out of the ears

No one passed you

Oh my gosh

I can't even like, I can't even choose

I can't choose no nipples

No nipples either

Because I was terrified of spiders

Yeah, I was scared

And I love my nipples

I love my nipples too

I love my nipples too

This is really much

You have great nipples

Thanks

Okay, I guess we'll do another one

Yeah, let's do another one

I'll do another one

Same ones

Oh my gosh

I had to better drop a shuffle in

Okay, have every dog you meet

Immediately start helping your leg

Or scrape the plaque off every

Or I'm sorry, off each player's tongue

And use it as a salad dressing

Ew

This is disgusting

I guess I'm getting hooked by a dog

Yeah

You don't need some love at all

Yours

Okay

So, would you rather

I'm doing the webcast streaming from your bathroom

Or perform surgery on the loved one

Without professional assistance

I'm doing the webcast

I'm doing the webcast

I'm doing the webcast

I'm doing the webcast

I'm doing the webcast

What are y'all doing back there?

Blow the whistle

We're already on some nice cars

There you go

I think we all heard it

Okay

Three feets

Hello

You're so annoying

Eat a human heart

Or make dinosaur sounds when you come

I don't know

I feel like the dinosaur sounds would be kinda cute

Maybe a little pterodactyl

Yeah

Hi

Yeah, I guess it depends on the dinosaur

Yeah, I'm gonna be a cute dinosaur

I think you'd be a cute dinosaur

Okay

Now it's your turn

Okay

Oh wait, no, it's not your turn

So, would you rather discover your significant other

Has been sending your nudes to their friends or group chat

Or be forced to say yes

Whenever I want to ask you to do something

You've already switched, which one?

I think you're probably...

That's a difficult one

Probably be forced to say yes

Or nudes to your boyfriend's friends

That is so hard

I know I'm hot, so it's like, might as well

Might as well

But nudes, it's not that bad, I guess

All we're gonna see is that you're super hot

Exactly

Your boyfriend probably loved it

They probably asked for it anyway

For girlie

Oh

Would you rather work on the receiving end of a glory hole

Or please, spin the bottle with everyone in your immediate family

Ew

I would probably be on the receiving end of the glory hole

Oh, yeah

At least, I don't know the glory in that hole

100%

Okay

See you next

Okay

Toast your own hand in the toaster

Or exclusively date people

Opposite your normal gender preference

I don't know

Dating a girl would be kinda hot

That's what I'm saying

I don't think it's too bad

Yeah, so I think I have to go with that

Yeah, rather than burning your hand

Exactly

Posting your hand

I'll just burn my hand

Well, you're special, so

Of course you would

You're a 10

Okay

Let's see

Would you rather get caught with terrorist training websites in your browsing history?

Oh my gosh

Let out a smelly fart every time you orgasm

Every time?

Yeah

So you're a terrorist

Or you have some nasty ass farts

I'd have to be a terrorist

Respectfully a terrorist

Just like promenator

But it all will be terrorist

Yes

Well, I'm a dad or a Italian terrorist, so

Shut up

Why is he always so humble?

Why are you so mean?

I don't know

Anywhere

Okay

Would you rather scam your parents out of their retirement money

Or lab uncontrollably every time you see someone naked for the first time

I'm gonna get that breath

Easy

I have to lab

Really?

Yeah, I could not scam my parents

Oh, I'm scamming

Yeah

I'm totally scamming

Oh, you guys are crazy

They're gonna give me the money anyway for college so like

I mean, it's true like

That's crazy

You have a good heart

I do, I do, I try to

Rely on the moment of your birth each year

On your birthday

Or never be able to have sex with the same person twice

That sounds great

Yeah, I bet you'd say that

It keeps things interesting mixing it up, you know

I just don't ever have sex with you twice

Right

It's your daily life

Anyways

I probably would like to relive the moment of your birth each year

But you would have them all like

Literally the whole thing

But that's just like, that's so cute and sentimental

Not grownly, that's embarrassing

Give me this, you're dead

You're dead actually

Okay

Now

So would you rather have porn audio as your ringtone

Or pee out a small worm

Ew

Yeah

Okay, porn audio

I'm gonna have to do it

I'm gonna be exposed but it's fine

You know, that'll just make it look freaky

What about you?

What about you?

Well, it's a question

Oh my gosh

You're gonna be the biggest tension

Okay, have porn audio as your ringtone

Or pee out a small worm

Porn audio, absolutely

Oh my gosh

I guess it's my turn

Would you rather be unable to get drunk

Or go down on someone with uncontrollable gas

Rather not be able to drink

I'd rather not be able to drink

Singles for me

Okay

We're all in the same page

I think it's your turn, maybe

Oh, yeah

I'm gonna lay down

You girls aren't gonna be able to do so in this bed anyway

We need you guys

Just stop talking

God

I'm not a spot

Yeah, see

Why are you even here?

Jeez, watch your legs

So, get vanity plates for your car that says douche

Or wake up naked next to your best friend's significant

That's so easy

Just be a douche

Yeah

I think it's my turn

Okay

So, would you rather

No, I rather this one

Okay

We're next

Two

Okay

Would you rather find your significant other

On an escort site or open your laptop in a meeting

Only to discover that porn is playing a full ball

- I feel like we've done this one - Yeah

I feel like we did this one

We did

These are crazy

I need to try this one

Wait, you're gonna see this

No, this one again

Oh my God

The same box

Okay

Okay, so would you rather be forced to remove your pants before sitting down

Or only sleep with people twice your age

Whoa, only sleep with people twice my age

Say anything

I'll write my granddaddy dick

Nice, baby

Would you rather have sex with the first person you see after leaving the room

Or be forced to announce when you have to poop to everyone in your room

Why are you doing that?

Okay

I didn't know what you were saying

Okay, because you know what I was saying

Alright

Would you rather have everyone in the room discover your darkest secrets

Or

I want to do the slugging thing

I'm gonna do the slugging thing

Okay

Or

Only be able to eat things you find in a public trash can

Oh

What's the first crack you have everyone in the room discover your darkest secrets

Or only be

Or only be able to eat things you find in a public trash can

I'll be the last

Honestly, you could find some pretty good food in the trash can

Oh my God

It could be at the very top, not touching anything

Exactly

I'm gonna be shameless

It's still a trash

I don't know

That's gross

I think

I think my darkest secrets gonna have to come out

That's

What?

Oh, she can skip it

It's okay

I can't have that one

That one's like crazy

Okay

You eat a puppy

No, I know it's terrible

Or only be able to orgasm when you're alone

I'm pretty used to that anyway

Of course, right

Eating puppies, I mean

I would probably have to choose the

Only be able to orgasm when you're alone

Puppies are too cute

They are too cute

Okay, you're puppy

Okay

So would you rather instinctively know when everyone you know is going to die

but be unable to do anything about it

or shower for two minutes with boiling hot water

Oh my gosh

Boiling hot water

Boiling hot water

That's so stressful

How do you take showers like that?

Me too

It's musting

Okay

Let's see

Hmm

Would you rather drink a cup of your...

I can't do this one

I can't do it

Oh my God, I can't do this one either

Alright

Would you rather have your significant other leave you for your best friend

or eat a Twinkie filled with Steven

Ew

That is gross

That's disgusting

That is gross

I don't know

I don't know if I could do that one

I think I...

I couldn't eat the Twinkie

It's good

There's no way

There's no way

I think I could do the Twinkie

I think you all could do the Twinkie

Yeah

You should do the Twinkie

I ain't doing the Twinkie

He would totally do the Twinkie

My turn

Okay

Have a fat bald man appear out of nowhere

and hit you and hit on you every time you sneeze

or stare and sound a...

That sounds really disturbing

You're really disturbing

Oh wow

That was about safe

I'm uncontrollably every time you smell farts

I can't pick

What the fuck

There's no way

You got a new heart?

Yeah

Yeah, that would scare me

Okay

Try some new ones

Thank you

Oh

Dialone

Or have a corkscrew

twisted into your belly button

I have to dial it

You have to dial it

There's no way

Yeah

Who's writing this?

This is sensitive

You're a good guy

I'll take you

Okay

So would you rather pretend you're a cat

and give someone in the room a tongue bath

or have sex with a dead person

That is crazy

I'm gonna have to be a cat

I don't want to call one

I'm gonna have to be a...

per

Literally per

Anyway

Okay

Would you rather have triplets with someone

you only met glints

or wear a ball gag for the next 72 hours

The ball gag

The ball gag

The ball gag

Triplets is 18 years middle

Yeah

Absolutely

That's a lot

You said 18 years middle

Yeah

Okay

So become a prostitute for a year

or lose your sex organs

Prostitute it is

That was an easy one

Real simple and right to the point

It's a show

Okay

So would you rather be unable to wear clothes

or have everyone in the room die except for you

- Noodle.

- Noodle?

- Noodle.

- Or duck.

- Noodle.

- Noodle.

- Yeah.

- First shirt.

- Naked.

- Okay, which one would you guys pick?

The five shots of tequila every morning,

or participating in a nursing home?

- Tequila.

- Tequila.

- Tequila, too.

- As much as I hated.

- Okay.

- Your turn.

- Thanks.

- Alright, would you rather randomly find a dead body

in your closet, or swallow a used condom

you found on the sidewalk?

- The sidewalk.

- The worst one you've been in.

- I would have said that it's just a normal day for you.

- Right.

- I would have not to pick.

- You have to pick something.

- I would randomly find a dead body.

- Oh!

- Yeah?

- 'Cause you don't know who used that condom, you know?

- You know, you're right.

- So it's like.

- And it's harmless, you know, it's just sitting in your closet.

- I guess so.

- Okay, be hungover for the rest of your life,

or lose a week of life every time you have sex.

(gasps)

Oh, that is terrible.

(laughs)

- I don't know which one I would pick.

(humming)

- That would be crazy.

- Yeah, that would be crazy.

- It's too hard.

- I can't even get one.

- Okay.

- Okay, so would you rather train daily with the judge?

Who is the judge?

Who is the judge?

Unless you can put your whole fist in the.

- Maybe I'm the judge.

- You're the judge.

- All Teehee.

(laughs)

- I think.

Okay, so train daily with the judge,

until you can put your whole fist in their anus,

or get mulled by a pack of sturdy pimples.

- I have to get mulled.

- You have to get mulled?

- Yes.

- I'm fisting.

- You're fisting me?

Maybe later.

(laughs)

- Okay.

(panting)

- Give pedicures to an entire nursing home.

(laughs)

Or,

Google publishes your search history.

I'd have to be in nursing homes.

- I'm getting exposed.

- What?

- I'm jumping in pedicures.

- I don't think so.

I don't think so.

- Really?

- That's crazy.

- Terrible.

(sniffs)

- All right.

- Would you rather get three tattoos of your mother's face

surrounding your genitals?

- Oh, wait a minute.

- That is crazy.

- Or, eat all that hair from a stranger's shower's drain trap?

- Oh, no.

- Neither.

- Neither?

(laughs)

- 'Cause that just sounds--

- That's disgusting.

- That is a both bad.

- I'm really terrible.

- I'm just gonna have to ask you.

(laughs)

- No comment.

- No comment.

(sniffs)

- Tone a sumo wrestler's ass?

(laughs)

- Four words.

(sniffs)

- Poop 100 gallons of Heinz ketchup.

- Okay.

- Thank you.

- Anybody got a burp?

(laughs)

- He's literally the worst.

- He is.

- I was making comments.

- Wow.

- He's saying-- - I wanna feed him stuff.

- He's good at little.

- You're only here 'cause mom made me.

- Yeah, well, I mean, I have to be here.

- I mean, they're all listening to you.

- But, would you wrap there?

Have a condom fall out of your pocket

immediately after anyone compliments you?

Or remove one of your eyeballs with a spoon.

- The first one. - First one.

- Cool. - Yeah.

- Absolutely.

No question about it.

(laughs)

- Get there.

(sniffs)

- Would you rather amputate a friend's leg

without paying killers?

Or die in 2035?

- Die in 2035.

- Oh, yeah, you're such a good friend.

- I knew that.

- My friend's not gonna have a leg.

- Oh, my-- - Yeah.

(laughs)

Respect.

- I hope we're not friends in the scenarios.

- No, it would be you.

It would be somebody else.

(laughs)

- My friend.

Okay, all we be arrested, or I'm sorry,

all we be attracted to people who think you're ugly,

that's sad.

- That's sad.

- Or be required to squeeze the ass of every person you hug.

- I got it, these are-- - Me too.

(laughs)

- You all-- (laughs)

(sniffs)

- Okay.

(sniffs)

- All right, would you rather--

cut one of your ears with a pair of children's safety scissors,

or have everyone be convinced that you've had sex with--

(sniffs)

I don't like this one.

(laughs)

Respect. - Let's switch it up.

- Yeah, I don't know.

(sniffs)

Okay.

(sniffs)

Okay, cut off one of your ears with a pair of children's

safety scissors, or have someone snip your Achilles tendon

with garden shears.

- Oh my gosh. (laughs)

- That's bad.

(laughs)

- It's either your ear, or your Achilles tendons.

- So you can't walk.

- Yeah.

- Or your, a famous painter.

(sniffs)

- That's one way of looking at it.

(sniffs)

- I think your ear.

(sniffs)

- What do you think?

What do you think?

- I don't know, what's the next one?

- No, you pick, I'll let you pick one,

since you've just been not doing anything

this whole round like-- - Here.

- Here.

- You read it.

- Okay.

- You do not, there it goes. - You need to read it yourself.

You've been just laying there, doing nothing.

- All right, all right, all right, just hand card.

- No, get up.

(sighs)

- Right now.

- You need to do what she says.

(sniffs)

- I know, I'll be a lazy bones.

- Okay, okay. - Here.

- All right.

Would you rather watch your step bro come

and your best friend's mouth, or sit on a cactus?

(sighs)

- Or either sit on a cactus.

- Yeah, same. - Yeah, I'm saying I'm--

- I have a choice.

- I know, that's a crazy question.

- I know.

- We're gonna try the one that doesn't have a cactus.

- No, I don't like cactus.

- Yes.

(sighs)

- Oh, wow.

(laughs)

- Well, mine is well gone too.

- Wow. - Come here.

- You know, I think I might have a cactus in my throat.

- I was just saying.

- Yeah, I'd rather do the cactus.

- You know?

- Wow.

- That game was really fun.

- It kinda made me a little bit hungry.

- Yeah, I'm hungry.

- We want pizza?

- Yeah.

- I would love a pizza.

- Good, go get some.

- Can I deliver?

Can I order it?

- Whatever, just go get the pizza.

- Just go grab it.

- Yeah.

- Don't forget the card with this one.

- Yeah, I think I'm getting some.

- So fun.

- I love that he's so fun.

- You know what's funny, while we wait?

- Yeah.

(laughs)

- Oh my gosh.

- Oh gosh.

(laughing)

(upbeat music)

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