All language subtitles for 2_3

AND THIS IS THE FIRST
KNOWN SIGHTING

OF SUPER DANNY

AND HIS ADORABLE,
IF NOT SLIGHTLY HUSKY,

SIDEKICK-- RILEY GIRL.

THAT IS SO CUTE.

DID YOU GUYS ALWAYS GO OUT
TRICK-OR-TREATING TOGETHER?

SADLY THAT PICTURE'S
NOT FROM HALLOWEEN.

THEY JUST LIKED
TO DRESS UP.

WELL, I TELL
ALL OF MY PATIENTS

THAT FANTASY PLAY IS
VERY HEALTHY FOR CHILDREN.

THEY STILL DO IT.

OH.

THAT'S JUST CREEPY.

OKAY, IT'S NOT CREEPY;

IT'S REALLY SWEET.

WHEN I WAS NINE,
I BROKE MY LEG

AND I MISSED HALLOWEEN.

SO SIX MONTHS LATER,
DANNY SURPRISED ME

AND TOOK ME
TRICK-OR-TREATING,

JUST THE TWO OF US.

AND THAT'S HOW
HALF-O-WEEN WAS BORN.

AND NOW IT HAS TURNED
INTO

THIS CRAZY DRUNKEN
PUB CRAWL.

SO WAIT, DANNY ACTUALLY
DRESSES UP AS A SUPERHERO

AND RUNS AROUND THE CITY?

BECAUSE I'VE HAD
PEOPLE COMMITTED FOR DOING
THAT EXACT SAME THING.

OH. OH, WE DID
GET ARRESTED ONCE.

YEAH,
CUTEST MUG SHOTS EVER!

- OH, HERE THEY ARE.
- OHH.

HEY HEY HEY, NO!

NO LOOKING
AT PHOTO ALBUMS.

( laughing )

NOTHING ANYONE WANTS
TO SEE IN THERE.

WHY?

ARE YOU AFRAID
I'LL DISCOVER

YOUR SECRET IDENTITY,
SUPER DANNY?

SUPER DANNY.

WAS SHE SHOWING YOU
PICTURES OF SUPER DANNY?

- ( Amy giggles )
- THAT'S JUST A STUPID THING

WE USED TO DO AS KIDS.

WE'RE GOING OUT
THIS TUESDAY.

KNOCK KNOCK!
BONNIE'S BEAUTY BARN!

TRIM, CUT AND CURL,
YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE A GIRL.

WHO'S FIRST?
'CAUSE GUESS WHAT?

THERE'S A NEW HAIR-IFF
IN TOWN.

( blows )

WELL, AT LEAST WE KNOW

- YOU'RE NOT ADOPTED.
- ( both chuckle )

I THINK
YOU'VE SEEN ENOUGH.

BYE, MOM.

SO WHAT ABOUT YOU, RILEY?

YOU LOOK LIKE A GIRL
WHO LIKES A FREE HAIRCUT.

- HEY, MOM.
- OH, HEY, BENJI.

THANKS AGAIN FOR FINDING
A DAYCARE FOR EMMA

SO I CAN GO BACK
TO BEAUTY SCHOOL.

I'M SORRY--
DAY WHAT? BEAUTY WHERE?

BEN, I'VE BEEN TELLING YOU
EVERY DAY

YOU NEED TO FIND SOMEBODY
TO WATCH EMMA.

- AND WHAT DO I SAY?
- THAT YOU'RE ON IT.

- THEN I'M ON IT.
WHEN DO YOU START?
- TOMORROW.

WHY DON'T YOU TELL ME
THESE THINGS?

( theme music playing )

♪ IT'S AMAZING HOW
THE UNEXPECTED ♪

♪ CAN TAKE YOUR LIFE
AND CHANGE DIRECTION. ♪

( baby cooing )

WHOA!
( laughs )

WHAT DO YOU THINK,
EMMA?

YOU READY TO MAKE
SOME NEW BABY FRIENDS?

BUT REMEMBER,
NO SHARING

YOUR PACIFIER.

YOU'RE NOT THAT KIND
OF GIRL.

DUDE, I DON'T KNOW, MAN.

ARE WE SURE THAT
THIS PLACE IS LEGIT?

'CAUSE IT LOOKS FINE
TO ME. OKAY.

IF I MAY.

TUCKER DOBBS,
STROLLER WRANGLER.

( laughing )

SAVING THE WORLD
ONE MOMMY AT A TIME.

ACTUALLY,
I'M NOT A MOMMY.

I'M THE NANNY.
I'M KIND OF NEW HERE.

OH, WELL, LET ME
SHOW YOU AROUND.

( chuckles )

WELL, THIS...

IS LOCKED.

( laughing )

HI, I'M MEGAN.
WHAT CAN I DO FOR YOU?

PRETTY SURE
WHATEVER YOU WANT.

( chuckles )

HI, I'M BEN,
AND THIS IS EMMA.

( baby-talk )
HI, EMMA.

DON'T TURN AROUND,
BUT THERE'S A STRANGE MAN

FOLLOWING YOU.

OH-HO-HO.

SO I'M NOT REALLY SURE
HOW THIS WORKS.

DO I JUST HAND HER OVER

AND YOU GIVE ME A TICKET

OR ONE OF THOSE RESTAURANT
BUZZER THINGIES?

( normal voice )
OH, YOU WANNA DROP HER OFF.

I'M SORRY, BUT WE'RE
COMPLETELY FULL.

OH, OKAY.
WELL, I DON'T HAVE TO BE
AT WORK FOR ANOTHER HOUR,

- SO HOW LONG'S THE WAIT?
- THREE MONTHS.

THREE MONTHS?

SHE'LL BE ABLE TO DROP
HERSELF OFF BY THEN.

ARE YOU SURE?

HOW COULD YOU SAY NO
TO THIS FACE?

OR THIS ONE?

WOW, CUTE BABY
AND A FLIRTY DAD--

NEVER GET ANY
OF THOSE IN HERE.

I'M SORRY,
BUT THERE'S
NOTHING I CAN DO.

HEY, BABY LADY.
NICE CRIB.

TUCKER,
WHERE'D YOU GET THAT?

MM.
I TRADED IT

FOR MY INVISIBLE
DINOSAUR.

( laughs )

KIDS ARE SO STUPID.

( laughing )
OKAY.

OKAY, EMMA,
I GOTTA GET TO WORK.

I'LL SEE YOU AT HOME,
OKAY? ALL RIGHT.

SORRY ABOUT THAT.

SO ARE YOU SURE
THERE'S NOTHING YOU CAN DO?

ACTUALLY,
I THINK THERE IS.

I DIDN'T REALIZE
YOU WERE A COUPLE.

WHO? ME AND JUICE BOX?

YEAH.

I MEAN, A BI-RACIAL
GAY COUPLE?

THAT'S LIKE HITTING
THE JACKPOT

ON THE DIVERSITY FORM.
( scoffs )

REALLY?

YEAH, YOU ARE A COUPLE,
AREN'T YOU?

YES, WE ARE.

COUPLE OF GUYS
RAISING A BABY TOGETHER.

PERFECT.

JUST FILL OUT
THIS APPLICATION.

I SHOULD BE ABLE
TO LET YOU KNOW BY
THE END OF THE DAY.

OKAY.

YOU KNOW, EMMA, IF
YOU WERE HOLDING
A SCOTCH,

YOU'D LOOK JUST LIKE
MY AUNT EVELYN.

SO WHAT DO YOU THINK
ABOUT DANNY AND AMY?

I MEAN, THEY SEEM LIKE
SUCH OPPOSITES.

SHE'S SO SMART AND REFINED
AND HE'S SO...

( inhales sharply )
NOT THOSE THINGS.

I MEAN,

IT'S PROBABLY ONLY
A MATTER OF TIME

UNTIL DR. GIRLFRIEND
STARTS TRYING TO CHANGE HIM.

YEAH. WELL, SHE CAN TRY
ALL SHE WANTS,

BUT THAT BOY WON'T CHANGE
FOR ANYONE.

HEY, GUYS!

CHECK OUT MY NEW "JACKET-A."

( scoffs )
DANNY?

RILEY, CALL THE POLICE.
THERE'S A STRANGE MAN
IN THE LIVING ROOM.

AMY PICKED IT OUT FOR ME.

IT'S GOT ELBOW PATCHES,
WHICH IS WEIRD BECAUSE
IT'S BRAND-NEW.

I NEEDED SOMETHING
TO WEAR TO THE MET.

YOU WENT TO A MUSEUM?!

DANNY, THE LAST TIME
YOU WENT TO A MUSEUM

YOU GOT THROWN OUT
FOR SHOVING GUM IN
THE STATUE'S BUTT CRACK.

I WOULDN'T DO THAT NOW.

AMY WAS REALLY SPECIFIC.

IT WAS ACTUALLY KINDA COOL.

AS COOL AS... THIS?

I PRESENT YOU

YOUR NEW HALF-O-WEEN CAPE.

I WAS THINKING WE COULD
MEET HERE AT LIKE 7:00?

ABOUT THAT... UM.
I WAS GONNA SEE IF
WE COULD RESCHEDULE.

AMY'S PARENTS
ARE IN TOWN TONIGHT.

OH. UM--

YEAH, THAT'S OKAY.
NO BIGGIE.

WE'LL, UH--
WE'LL RESCHEDULE.

YOU KNOW WHAT? NO NO.
THIS IS OUR TRADITION.

I'LL HAVE A DRINK
WITH AMY'S PARENTS,

THEN I'LL MAKE UP
AN EXCUSE.

ARE YOU SURE?

SUPER SURE.

BUT LET'S NOT
MENTION IT TO AMY.

SHE CAN BE A LITTLE UPTIGHT.

YOUR WORDS, NOT MINE.

ALL RIGHT,
I'LL SEE YOU AT 9:00.

HELLO?
ANYONE HERE?

MEGAN?

BEN, IS THAT YOU?
I'M IN THE OFFICE.

JUST COME ON BACK.

HELLO? OH, SORRY!
I DIDN'T MEAN TO--

I THOUGHT YOU SAID
THAT YOU WERE--

IT'S OKAY. IT'S NOT
LIKE YOU CARE, RIGHT?

RIGHT.

( scoffs )
WHY WOULD I CARE?

TOTALLY DON'T CARE.

NICE BRA, BY THE WAY.

- LACY.
- IT'S CUTE, RIGHT?

- VERY.
- IT'S PROBABLY THE MOST
EXPENSIVE THING I OWN.

TOO BAD THE ONLY PEOPLE
WHO EVER SEE IT ARE ME,

MY DOG AND NOW YOU.

LUCKY DOG.
( chuckles )

SO, UH,

- YOU'RE SINGLE?
- ( scoffs ) YUP.

WE CAN'T ALL FIND TRUE LOVE.

I HEAR THAT.

OH, RIGHT.
ME AND TUCKER.

OH, I ALMOST FORGOT.
YOU'RE IN.

I TALKED TO MY MANAGER
AND EMMA CAN START
IN THE MORNING

RIGHT AFTER
PARENT ORIENTATION.

THAT'S FANTASTIC!

SHOULD WE HUG?

OH MY GOD.

IS IT REALLY YOU?

IS IT REALLY RILEY GIRL
HERE ON MY FIRE ESCAPE?

( sarcastically )
IN THE FLESH.

SO WHERE'S YOUR
TRUSTY SIDEKICK?

( sighs )

HE STOOD ME UP.

APPARENTLY HE HAS
A NEW PARTNER-IN-CRIME

AND HER NAME IS
DR. SNOOTY-NO-FUN.

HEY, WELL, DON'T GET
YOUR TIGHTS ALL IN A BUNCH.

I'LL STEP IN.

OOH, WHAT ABOUT A PIRATE?

LADIES LOVE TUCKER
IN AN EYE PATCH.

( chuckles )

HE ALWAYS GETS THE BOOTY.

( laughing )
OKAY.

IT'S, UH--

IT'S KIND OF
A SUPERHERO THING, SO...

OH, PERFECT.

BECAUSE THE LADIES
ALSO LOVE TUCKER

IN RAIN BOOTS
AND A TABLECLOTH.

( whooshes )

- ( clears throat )
- I REALLY APPRECIATE IT,

BUT, UH, I'M GOOD.

I JUST WISH HE WOULD HAVE
LET ME KNOW BEFORE I BOUGHT
A NEW UTILITY BELT.

I MEAN, IT HAS
A WEB SHOOTER.

THAT'S REALLY COOL.

- I KNOW.
- I DON'T--

HERE SHE IS.
ALL POLISHED AND READY
TO CONQUER HER FIRST DAY

OF NAPPING, DROOLING

AND IGNORING
THE BOY BABIES.

HEY. WHERE'S TUCKER?

NO IDEA.
( chuckles )

I AM ON MY OWN.

BUT WE REALLY NEED
BOTH PARENTS FOR ORIENTATION.

IF HE'S NOT HERE,
I CAN'T LET EMMA START TODAY.

WHEN I SAID "NO IDEA,"
I MEANT OUT OF TOWN.

- REALLY?
- MM-HMM.

I JUST SAW HIM WALK BY
THE WINDOW 20 MINUTES AGO.

HUH.

YOU DID?

BEN, WHAT'S GOING ON?

UM, OKAY, UH,
HERE'S THE THING.

- UH--
- OH, NO.

DID SOMETHING HAPPEN
WITH YOU AND TUCKER?

UH... YES.

SOMETHING--
SOMETHING DID HAPPEN.

TUCKER LEFT US.

OH, MY GOD.
YOU POOR THING!

OH, IF THERE'S ANYTHING
I CAN DO TO HELP--

OH, YOU'RE DOING JUST FINE.

HEY, MRS. WHEELER.
IS DANNY HERE?

YEAH, HE'S IN THE SHOWER.

20 MINUTES TILL MY CLASS,

AND I CAN'T FIND
MY LUCKY COMB.

I WON'T TELL YOU
WHAT I HAVE FOUND,

OTHERWISE YOU WILL NEVER
SIT HERE AGAIN.

WELL, IT'S OFFICIAL--
I DON'T GET MEN.

AND I GET A LOT OF THEM.
WHAT DO YOU NEED?

I WAS TALKING ABOUT DANNY.

HE'S TOTALLY LETTING
AMY CHANGE HIM,

WHICH IS WEIRD
BECAUSE HE'S THE ONE

THAT CALLED HER UPTIGHT
IN THE FIRST PLACE.

DANNY CALLED ME UPTIGHT?

OH, BY THE WAY,
AMY'S HERE.

YOU KNOW WHAT?
I'LL JUST BUY ANOTHER COMB.

BYE-BYE.

( door opens )

- DID HE REALLY
SAY THAT ABOUT ME?
- ( door closes )

NO NO NO NO NO NO.

YOU TOTALLY TOOK THAT
OUT OF CONTEXT.

UH, HE-- HE WAS
TALKING ABOUT YOUR HAIR.

WHICH IS SOMETIMES UP
AND-- AND TIGHT.

FOR YOUR INFORMATION,
I AM NOT UPTIGHT.

I MEAN, THERE IS NOBODY MORE
GO-WITH-THE-FLOW THAN I AM.

I MEAN,
( stammering ) I'VE...

STOLEN SOAP
FROM A HOTEL BEFORE.

YEAH.

AND SOMETIMES I EAT GRAPES
IN THE SUPERMARKET

AND I DON'T PAY FOR 'EM.

AND IT IS THAT KIND OF
CAREFREE QUALITY

THAT EXPLAINS
WHY DANNY LOVES

SPENDING SO MUCH
TIME WITH YOU.

OHH, SO THAT'S WHAT
THIS IS ABOUT.

YOU'RE JEALOUS.

OKAY, NOW IT ALL MAKES SENSE.

NO, I AM SO NOT JEALOUS.

AND THIS ISN'T ABOUT ME.

THIS IS ABOUT YOU.
I MEAN, YOU ARE

SO BUSY MAKING DANNY
DO EVERYTHING

THAT YOU WANNA DO,
YOU HAVEN'T EVEN BOTHERED

TO FIGURE OUT
WHAT HE LIKES TO DO.

I THINK I KNOW DANNY
PRETTY WELL.

OH. OH, REALLY?
DO YOU?

OKAY, WHAT'S HIS FAVORITE THING
TO EAT FOR DINNER?

- SUSHI.
- CHOCOLATE CEREAL.

WHAT'S HIS FAVORITE COLOR?

HE LOOKS GOOD IN GREEN.

HE HATES GREEN.
LOVES BLUE.

YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE HE LOVES?

HE LOVES BALL GAMES
AND BEER

AND TRIVIA NIGHT

AND TACO TUESDAYS.

HE LOVES RIDING SHOTGUN
AND PLAYING PRANKS.

BUT MORE THAN THAT,

HE IS THE GUY THAT CREATED

AN ENTIRE FAKE HOLIDAY

TO MAKE A LITTLE GIRL
FEEL BETTER ABOUT HERSELF.

SO NO, AMY,

I DON'T THINK
YOU KNOW HIM AT ALL.

( door opens )

OH, HEY!

HOW COOL IS THIS?

MY TWO FAVORITE LADIES
HANGING OUT TOGETHER.

Ben:
YOU KNOW, IN HINDSIGHT,

I THINK IT WAS THE BEST THING
THAT COULD HAVE EVER HAPPENED.

TUCKER AND I WERE NEVER
EVEN REALLY THAT SERIOUS.

YOU HAVE A CHILD TOGETHER.

ACTUALLY, I'M THE ONE
WHO HAD THE CHILD.

OH.

WITH A WOMAN.

( shakily )
WHO I HAD SEX
WITH TO MAKE IT.

I THINK THAT PART OF
THE PROBLEM IS THAT
TUCKER KNOWS THAT

I'M STILL ATTRACTED
TO WOMEN.

WELL, I GUESS THAT
EXPLAINS IT.

I TOTALLY THOUGHT MY GAYDAR
WAS BROKEN WHEN I MET YOU.

I THOUGHT I SENSED
A LITTLE ATTRACTION.

AND I GUESS MAYBE TUCKER
SENSED IT TOO.

HE CAN BE SO JEALOUS.

OH, MY GOD.
DON'T TURN AROUND.

HE'S HERE.

I'LL BE RIGHT BACK, OKAY?

( inaudible )

WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
WHY DO YOU KEEP WAVING
YOUR ARMS?

IT'S COMPLICATED.

BUT IT WOULD BE SUPER-HELPFUL
IF YOU POKED ME IN THE CHEST.

OH, HEY,
IS THAT DAYCARE CUTIE?

ASK HER IF CAN GET
THAT NANNY'S NUMBER.

DONE!

BUT ONLY IF YOU GO.

SERIOUSLY, DUDE?

DO YOU NEED
MEDICAL ATTENTION?

I'LL EXPLAIN LATER.
I PROMISE.

BUT IF YOU COULD THROW UP
YOUR HANDS AND STOMP OFF,

I'D REALLY APPRECIATE IT.

HEY.
JUST GOT YOUR TEXT.

IS EVERYTHING OKAY?

WHAT DID YOU SAY
TO AMY THIS MORNING?

WHAT? ME? NOTHING.
WHY DO YOU THINK
I SAID SOMETHING?

YOU TOLD HER
I CALLED HER UPTIGHT.

OH, YEAH.
THAT MIGHT HAVE COME UP.

RILEY, SHE BROKE UP
WITH ME.

OH MY GOD,
DANNY, I'M SORRY.

IT JUST--
IT JUST CAME OUT.

BUT HONESTLY,
YOU HAVEN'T BEEN ACTING
LIKE YOURSELF AROUND HER.

WHY? BECAUSE I WENT
TO A MUSEUM?

NO, BECAUSE YOU'RE DOING THINGS
THAT YOU DON'T EVEN LIKE TO DO.

IT'S BECAUSE I LIKE HER!

THAT'S WHAT YOU'RE SUPPOSED
TO DO WHEN YOU LIKE SOMEBODY.

THE RILEY I KNOW
WOULD UNDERSTAND THAT
AND BE SUPPORTIVE.

IF YOU KEEP TELLING EVERYONE
YOU'RE MY BEST FRIEND,

HOW ABOUT YOU ACT LIKE IT?

( cellphone ringing )

BONNIE'S BEAUTY BARN.

CONGRATULATIONS, YOU JUST GOT
ONE STEP CLOSER TO PRETTY.

OH! I WOULD LOVE TO.

NO NO NO NO,
THAT'S PERFECT.

I'LL SEE YOU IN A FEW.

- YOW!
- DON'T WANNA
TALK ABOUT IT ANYMORE.

OH, HEY, DANNY,
GUESS WHAT?

- I JUST GOT
MY VERY FIRST CLIENT.
- ( door slams )

DANNY, I'M SO SORRY.

HEY, RILES,
BIG NEWS!

- YOU'RE NEVER GONNA--
- ( door slams )

- HEY, MOM.
- ALL RIGHT, DON'T YOU MOVE

UNTIL I'M DONE
TALKING ABOUT MYSELF.

I JUST GOT MY FIRST CLIENT.

( squeals )
WHERE'S EMMA?

I THOUGHT YOU WERE
PICKING HER UP.

NO. NO, NOT ME.

WELL, IF YOU'RE NOT,
THEN WHO IS?

- TUCKER?
- OH. HEY, BABY LADY.

( Tucker chuckles )

OKAY, THIS IS
A LITTLE EMBARRASSING,

BUT I DON'T THINK I CAN
GIVE YOU EMMA RIGHT NOW.

OH!

IF SHE NEEDS TO BE CHANGED,
BY ALL MEANS, TAKE YOUR TIME.

( chuckles )

YOU KNOW, UH, YOU GOT
MY BOY PRETTY WORKED UP.

LISTEN, I SO DON'T WANT
TO GET IN THE MIDDLE
OF ANYTHING.

OH, NO, YOU'RE NOT.

LOOK, IF YOU JUST GIVE ME
THAT GIRL'S NUMBER,

I SWEAR SHE WILL NEVER
EVEN KNOW WHERE I GOT IT.

- WHOSE NUMBER?
- THAT NANNY'S.

- YOU'RE LOOKING FOR A NANNY?
- AT THE END OF THE DAY,

WHO ISN'T, RIGHT?

( laughing )

OH, GREAT.
YOU'RE ALL HERE.

LOOK AT US,
BEING CIVIL.

OKAY, UH, LET'S GRAB
EMMA AND GO.

OR BETTER YET,
I'LL GRAB EMMA

AND YOU GO.

COOL.
SEE YOU AT HOME THEN.

WAIT.

I THOUGHT YOU SAID
HE MOVED OUT.

WHAT?
WHY WOULD I MOVE OUT?

THAT'S LIFE IN THE BIG CITY.
EVERYONE'S ON THE MOVE.

AND SHOULDN'T YOU BE?

WHAT'S GOING ON?

BEN, YOU TOLD ME
YOU WERE A COUPLE.

- A COUPLE OF GUYS
RAISING A BABY.
- ( Tucker exhales )

YOU GOTTA BE CAREFUL
JUST TOSSING THAT AROUND, BEN.

PEOPLE WILL START
TO THINK WE'RE GAY.

OH MY GOD!
YOU LIED TO ME?!

I KNOW, I KNOW.
I'M SORRY.

BUT EMMA REALLY
NEEDED DAYCARE,

AND YOU WERE ALL
"HEY, LOOK AT MY BRA."

I SHOWED YOU MY BRA!

( exhales )
OH MY GOD,

WHY DIDN'T I GET
TO SEE HER BRA?

DUDE, COME ON.

PLEASE, IS THERE ANY
POSSIBLE WAY WE CAN

JUST DO THIS AGAIN
AND START OVER?

SURE.

WE'RE FULL.

GET YOUR BABY
AND GET OUT.

HEY, THAT NANNY DOESN'T
THINK I'M GAY, DOES SHE?

( knocks on door )

AMY, IT'S ME, RILEY.

I NEED TO TALK TO YOU.

I PROBABLY WOULDN'T OPEN
THE DOOR TO ME EITHER.

( mumbles )

I JUST CAME BY
TO APOLOGIZE.

I'M SORRY.

YOU'RE RIGHT,
I AM A LITTLE JEALOUS.

BUT I MISS MY FRIEND.

BUT MORE THAN THAT,
I'M REALLY PROTECTIVE.

I JUST WANT EVERYONE TO SEE
DANNY THE WAY THAT I SEE HIM,

WHICH...

IS PRETTY NEAR PERFECT.

SO HE REALLY IS MY HERO.

EXCUSE ME, MA'AM,
IS THERE A PROBLEM HERE?

OH MY GOD!
SUPER DANNY!

WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

I CAME TO WIN BACK AMY.

BUT YOU WERE RIGHT,
SHE NEEDS TO SEE
THE REAL ME.

I ACCEPTED WHO SHE WAS,

NOW SHE NEEDS TO ACCEPT
WHO I AM.

ARE YOU SURE
YOU WANNA HAVE THIS
CONVERSATION IN A UNITARD?

IT'S THE ONLY WAY.

AMY, IT'S ME.

WE NEED TO TALK.

( screams )

AMY!
STAND BACK!

OH, MY GOD.
DANNY.

MY DOOR!

I HEARD YOU SCREAM.
ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?

NO. LOOK AT ME.

I SAID SEXED UP,
NOT JACKED UP!

F.Y.I.,
IT'S CUSTOMARY TO TIP
AS BIG AS THE HAIR.

( mouthing )

( sighs deeply )
I--

I WAS JUST TRYING
TO LOOSEN UP A LITTLE.

BUT I LIKE YOU
JUST THE WAY YOU ARE.

YOU DO?

OH, BECAUSE I LIKE YOU
JUST THE WAY--

WHY ARE YOU DRESSED
LIKE THAT?

BECAUSE I WANTED YOU
TO SEE THE REAL ME.

WELL, NOT THE REAL REAL ME.

CAN'T REALLY FLY.
CAPE'S JUST FOR SHOW.

( giggles )

WELL, I LIKE
EVERYTHING I SEE.

BONNIE WHEELER...

CHANGING LIVES
ONE HEAD AT A TIME.

I DON'T JUST DO IT...

I HAIR-DO IT.

ALL RIGHT,
THERE YOU GO.

ARE YOU SURE YOU'RE OKAY
WITH OPENING UP

HALF-O-WEEN TO OUTSIDERS?

MAYBE CHANGE IS A GOOD THING.

- YOU READY?
- Amy: I THINK SO.

( door opens )

OKAY!

I TAKE BACK
WHAT I SAID BEFORE.

I THINK I MIGHT ACTUALLY
LIKE THIS LOOK BETTER.

MOM, JUST LET IT GO.

HONESTLY, WHO GETS
THROWN OUT OF A DAYCARE?

I MEAN,
SHE'S NOT EVEN ONE,

AND SHE ALREADY HAS
A RECORD.

I'LL SWITCH MY SHIFTS
IF I HAVE TO.

I'LL MAKE IT WORK.
I PROMISE.

YEAH?

WHAT DO YOU THINK?

OKAY.
( chuckles )

A MUMMY--
I LIKE IT.

OH, I WAS GOING FOR
"CRAZY TOILET PAPER GUY."

BUT MUMMY'S BETTER.

( knocks on door )

MEGAN?

UM, SO NOT EXPECTING
FOR YOU TO

OPEN THE DOOR
DRESSED AS--

WHAT ARE YOU EXACTLY?

A KITCHEN ROBOT.

AND OF COURSE YOU KNOW
MY TRUSTY SIDEKICK BABY BOT.

( robotic voice )
HELLO, MEGAN.

( chuckles weakly )

( normal voice )
WE'RE GOING TO A COSTUME THING.

I GOT THAT.

YOU FORGOT
EMMA'S DIAPER BAG.

UH, YOU WANNA JUST
PUT IT ON THE TABLE?

THANKS.

All:
HEY.

( door closes )

AGAIN, I'M SORRY FOR LYING.

PRETTY GIRLS MAKE ME DO
STUPID THINGS--

YOU AND EMMA.

WELL, I GUESS

I CAN'T BE TOO MAD AT A GUY
WHO PRETENDS TO BE GAY

JUST TO GET HIS LITTLE GIRL
INTO DAYCARE, SO--

SO MAYBE WE CAN START
OVER OVER?

HI, I'M BEN WHEELER

AND THIS IS EMMA.

CRAZY, SCHEME-Y,
WITH A SMILE I DON'T TRUST

AND SPATULAS FOR HANDS.

( robotic voice )
I AM IN.

( chuckles )

COULD I INTEREST YOU
IN A COSTUME?

I'VE GOT MORE TINFOIL.

( chuckling )
OKAY.

MMM!

TO ANOTHER SUCCESSFUL
ADVENTURE.

YOU REALLY ARE MY HERO,
WHEELER.

DO YOU THINK
WE'RE GETTING
TOO OLD FOR THIS?

YOU'RE NEVER TOO OLD
TO BE YOURSELF, RIGHT?

SO NOW THAT WE'VE
OPENED IT UP...

YOU THINK HALF-O-WEEN
MIGHT CATCH ON?

NOT A CHANCE.

AND DO WE CARE?

NOT A BIT.

( both in deep voice )
HAPPY HALF-O-WEEN, NEW YORK!