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[BAND PLAYING GRAND MARCH]
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MAN [OVER P.A.]:
Ladies and gentlemen,
today caps the last day
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00:00:07,641 --> 00:00:08,976
of a full week of festivities
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00:00:09,176 --> 00:00:12,112
in honor of the victorious
Apollo 15 astronauts.
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[ELEGANT MUSIC PLAYING]
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After a ticker tape parade
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through New York’s
financial district,
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00:00:31,231 --> 00:00:33,400
Major Nelson, Major Healey
and Captain Larkin,
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00:00:33,600 --> 00:00:35,502
will be honored
at a White House luncheon.
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00:00:38,672 --> 00:00:43,510
And finally, one last press
conference at Cocoa Beach.
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00:00:43,710 --> 00:00:46,980
Major Nelson, do you feel you
may be in line for a promotion?
12
00:00:47,180 --> 00:00:48,582
Uh, well,
| couldn’t comment on that.
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00:00:48,782 --> 00:00:50,217
Major Healey,
do you have any idea--?
14
00:00:50,417 --> 00:00:51,218
Major Healey--
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One at a time, please.
16
00:00:52,653 --> 00:00:54,821
Did you anticipate
any problems in the recovery?
17
00:00:55,22 --> 00:00:57,991
| think | can speak for
Captain Larkin and Major Nelson
18
00:00:58,191 --> 00:00:59,927
when | say we had complete
faith in the carrier.
19
00:01:00,127 --> 00:01:01,828
Uh, Major Nelson,
we ve heard quite a bit
20
00:01:02,29 --> 00:01:04,197
about Major Healey
and Captain Larkin’s home life,
21
00:01:04,398 --> 00:01:05,933
but not a word about yours.
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00:01:06,133 --> 00:01:07,801
How about it, major,
is there a girl?
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00:01:08,01 --> 00:01:11,38
Uh, I’m sorry,
but as the Air Force would say,
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00:01:11,238 --> 00:01:12,806
my private life
comes under the category
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00:01:13,06 --> 00:01:15,309
of restricted information.
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Restricted to me. Next.
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You know, the guy
that gets an exclusive
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00:01:19,880 --> 00:01:21,81
on Nelson’s private life
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00:01:21,281 --> 00:01:23,150
is a cinch
for the Pulitzer Prize.
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[BELL RINGS]
31
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[Pal]
32
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Hello.
Acme Plumbing Company.
33
00:01:33,60 --> 00:01:35,329
I’m here to
inspect your pipes.
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[LAUGHS]
Oh.
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00:01:36,697 --> 00:01:38,365
Well, there is nothing
wrong with my pipes.
36
00:01:38,565 --> 00:01:40,334
Well, you see,
there is a new city ordinance.
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Says, "Every house
more than 10 years old
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00:01:42,703 --> 00:01:44,938
has to have
the pipes inspected."
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00:01:45,138 --> 00:01:48,375
My master did not say anything
about an inspection.
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00:01:48,575 --> 00:01:50,711
Oh, your master didn’t.
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00:01:50,911 --> 00:01:52,846
Well, | wouldn't
worry about that.
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00:01:53,46 --> 00:01:54,448
| mean,
everything that | have to see,
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00:01:54,648 --> 00:01:56,316
| can see in 10 masters.
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00:01:56,516 --> 00:01:58,118
Uh, minutes. Excuse me.
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[Pal]
46
00:02:05,826 --> 00:02:07,427
[Pal]
47
00:02:54,141 --> 00:02:55,642
[Pal]
48
00:03:00,247 --> 00:03:01,682
[Pal]
49
00:03:31,445 --> 00:03:33,313
| did not know there were pipes
in the fireplace.
50
00:03:33,513 --> 00:03:36,750
Uh... Look, uh, lady. Y-you
take care of your business,
51
00:03:36,950 --> 00:03:39,453
and, uh, I'll take
care of mine.
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00:03:39,653 --> 00:03:40,787
Are you finished yet?
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00:03:40,987 --> 00:03:42,22
Uh, yes, actually.
54
00:03:42,222 --> 00:03:43,724
As a matter of fact, | am.
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00:03:43,924 --> 00:03:48,929
Your pipes are in good shape.
You have very good pipes.
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00:03:49,129 --> 00:03:50,497
As a matter of fact,
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00:03:50,697 --> 00:03:52,599
um, uh,
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00:03:52,799 --> 00:03:54,634
w-w-what is your business?
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00:03:54,835 --> 00:03:57,304
Well, | am a genie.
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00:03:57,504 --> 00:03:59,773
That’s very funny. Strike that.
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00:03:59,973 --> 00:04:04,377
Well, lady, so long.
| have to be going now, and, uh,
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00:04:04,578 --> 00:04:06,413
happy genie-ing.
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Strike that too.
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00:04:08,949 --> 00:04:09,750
[Pal]
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Well.
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00:04:11,218 --> 00:04:12,185
Dear.
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00:04:12,385 --> 00:04:14,54
He’s finally gone,
and | can prepare
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00:04:14,254 --> 00:04:16,556
for my master’s homecoming
in peace.
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00:04:16,757 --> 00:04:18,525
Now, let me see.
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00:04:21,762 --> 00:04:22,562
Ah!
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00:04:22,763 --> 00:04:23,563
[GIGGLES]
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00:04:23,764 --> 00:04:25,98
Oh, that is a nice touch.
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00:04:25,298 --> 00:04:27,367
| have always liked balloons.
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00:04:32,506 --> 00:04:34,975
Major Healey. Master.
Hi.
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00:04:35,175 --> 00:04:36,543
Welcome home.
Thanks.
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00:04:36,743 --> 00:04:39,913
[BUZZING]
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| planned a little party,
master.
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00:04:41,515 --> 00:04:42,315
Are you not pleased?
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00:04:42,516 --> 00:04:43,984
It’s just wonderful, yeah.
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00:04:44,184 --> 00:04:45,752
Tony, Tony, they’re here.
They’re here.
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00:04:45,952 --> 00:04:47,754
[REPORTERS CLAMORING]
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Doors! Doors!
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[REPORTERS CLAMORING]
84
00:04:54,27 --> 00:04:55,495
The curtains, the curtains!
85
00:04:57,531 --> 00:04:58,565
Master?
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00:04:58,765 --> 00:05:00,667
Do you not wish your friends
to come to your party?
87
00:05:00,867 --> 00:05:01,735
Oh...
What?
88
00:05:01,935 --> 00:05:05,138
Roger, would you get out? Roger.
89
00:05:05,338 --> 00:05:07,07
They’re here. They’re here.
Yeah, | know.
90
00:05:07,207 --> 00:05:08,708
Master,
friends make a party.
91
00:05:08,909 --> 00:05:10,377
Yeah, | know,
but those are reporters.
92
00:05:10,577 --> 00:05:12,78
They’re not friends.
They’re report--
93
00:05:12,279 --> 00:05:13,513
[BALLOON POPS]
94
00:05:13,713 --> 00:05:15,415
Would you get rid
of these balloons, please?
95
00:05:15,615 --> 00:05:16,783
Yes, master.
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00:05:18,652 --> 00:05:20,20
Listen, if we’re
gonna have a party,
97
00:05:20,220 --> 00:05:22,389
how about blinking in some
dancing girls and champagne?
98
00:05:22,589 --> 00:05:23,590
No, Roger, would you please?
99
00:05:23,790 --> 00:05:25,192
All right.
Forget the dancing girls,
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00:05:25,392 --> 00:05:27,460
they don’t have to dance,
and I'll get the champagne.
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00:05:27,661 --> 00:05:28,662
Party, yeah.
102
00:05:28,862 --> 00:05:30,463
See, Jeannie,
the problem is we’ve been--
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00:05:30,664 --> 00:05:32,632
We've been partied
and paraded and banqueted,
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00:05:32,833 --> 00:05:35,302
and we're just exhausted,
that’s all.
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00:05:35,502 --> 00:05:38,538
Oh, my poor master.
| am sorry, | did not realize.
106
00:05:38,738 --> 00:05:40,774
Yeah, and those reporters
have been pestering me
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00:05:40,974 --> 00:05:42,342
for details about
my personal life.
108
00:05:42,542 --> 00:05:43,443
[GASPS]
109
00:05:43,643 --> 00:05:45,445
Oh, master, | will take care
of them instantly.
110
00:05:45,645 --> 00:05:48,181
No. No, no.
Don't do anything like that.
111
00:05:48,381 --> 00:05:49,549
It would just make them curious,
112
00:05:49,749 --> 00:05:51,918
and we certainly wouldn't
want them curious, would we.
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00:05:52,118 --> 00:05:52,986
Oh, no, master.
114
00:05:53,186 --> 00:05:54,921
Because--
Because in your private life,
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00:05:55,121 --> 00:05:55,922
you have a genie.
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00:05:56,122 --> 00:05:57,90
Yeah.
Me.
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00:05:57,290 --> 00:05:59,826
And they simply
would not understand about that.
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00:06:00,26 --> 00:06:02,662
You're learning.
You are learning.
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00:06:02,863 --> 00:06:04,898
And besides,
I’ve really gotta get some rest.
120
00:06:05,98 --> 00:06:06,399
Major Nelson.
121
00:06:06,600 --> 00:06:09,236
Here, you open this. I'll--
I'll get the door.
122
00:06:09,436 --> 00:06:12,05
No. No, Ill get it.
MAN: Major Nelson. Come on out.
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00:06:12,205 --> 00:06:14,774
MAN 2:
Major Nelson,
just answer a question.
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00:06:14,975 --> 00:06:17,77
Major Nelson.
Major Nelson.
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00:06:17,277 --> 00:06:19,346
Do you mow your own lawn?
Fellas.
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00:06:19,546 --> 00:06:20,747
Fellas, please, please.
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00:06:20,947 --> 00:06:23,16
| have no further comments
about anything.
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00:06:23,950 --> 00:06:27,387
What is this thing? Hey.
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00:06:27,587 --> 00:06:30,657
Hey, talk about privacy.
This is really something.
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00:06:31,858 --> 00:06:33,693
Jeannie,
that is not what | meant.
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00:06:33,894 --> 00:06:36,496
What he means, Jeannie,
is aman’s home is his castle.
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00:06:36,696 --> 00:06:40,433
Yeah.
Oh! Now | understand.
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00:06:40,634 --> 00:06:41,635
[GIGGLES]
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00:06:42,836 --> 00:06:44,204
You know,
| guess he really means it.
135
00:06:44,404 --> 00:06:45,572
| guess he does.
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00:06:45,772 --> 00:06:47,240
Wally.
137
00:06:47,440 --> 00:06:48,675
Do you see what | see?
138
00:06:48,875 --> 00:06:50,277
[Pal]
139
00:06:51,544 --> 00:06:54,614
That depends on
what you see.
140
00:06:54,814 --> 00:06:55,949
Forget it.
141
00:06:56,149 --> 00:06:57,384
| don't really see anything.
142
00:06:57,584 --> 00:06:58,385
What did you just do?
143
00:06:58,585 --> 00:06:59,819
What did you do?
What did you blink?
144
00:07:00,20 --> 00:07:00,887
[LAUGHS]
145
00:07:01,87 --> 00:07:02,389
When did you
put in the moat?
146
00:07:04,357 --> 00:07:05,525
The moat?
147
00:07:06,760 --> 00:07:07,794
[DOORBELL DINGS]
148
00:07:09,896 --> 00:07:12,165
I’m sorry to bother you again,
but | left some tools
149
00:07:12,365 --> 00:07:13,600
Shh!
when | was here-- What?
150
00:07:13,800 --> 00:07:15,735
Please, my master is asleep.
Oh.
151
00:07:15,936 --> 00:07:18,305
I'll be very quiet.
| just wanna pick up my tools.
152
00:07:18,505 --> 00:07:20,307
Well, | have not seen any tools.
153
00:07:20,507 --> 00:07:22,175
Huh.
| am sure that | left them here.
154
00:07:22,375 --> 00:07:23,543
I'll tell you what.
Shh!
155
00:07:23,743 --> 00:07:25,979
[WHISPERING]
Why don't you go
look in the kitchen?
156
00:07:26,179 --> 00:07:28,782
Around the drainboard,
and places like that,
157
00:07:28,982 --> 00:07:31,351
and I'll just look
around in here.
Very well.
158
00:07:31,551 --> 00:07:34,321
You must not be a good plumber
if you keep losing your tools.
159
00:07:34,521 --> 00:07:37,924
Yeah, well, perhaps.
I’m not a very good plumber, no.
160
00:07:38,124 --> 00:07:40,894
But I’m a heck
of a good reporter.
161
00:07:41,94 --> 00:07:43,96
[Pal]
162
00:08:54,901 --> 00:08:55,869
Mm.
163
00:09:01,408 --> 00:09:03,243
Maybe...
164
00:09:03,443 --> 00:09:05,879
| can get a shot of the major
while he’s still asleep.
165
00:09:13,920 --> 00:09:15,321
No, do not go in there.
166
00:09:17,223 --> 00:09:19,359
Ow! Ow.
Shh!
167
00:09:19,559 --> 00:09:21,594
Please.
168
00:09:21,795 --> 00:09:23,296
I’m trying to sleep, please.
169
00:09:23,496 --> 00:09:24,964
[YAWNS]
170
00:09:25,165 --> 00:09:27,33
You see what you have done?
You've woke him up.
171
00:09:27,233 --> 00:09:28,34
"Woke him up"?
172
00:09:28,234 --> 00:09:31,04
| think | broke my toe!
173
00:09:31,204 --> 00:09:32,939
Jeannie.
174
00:09:37,510 --> 00:09:40,313
Oh!
Oh, master, are you all right?
175
00:09:40,513 --> 00:09:42,849
I’ve heard of houses
being burglar-proof,
176
00:09:43,49 --> 00:09:44,317
but this is ridiculous.
177
00:09:44,517 --> 00:09:46,553
Who is he?
Oh, he is just a plumber.
178
00:09:46,753 --> 00:09:48,121
He’s not a plumber,
he’s a reporter.
179
00:09:48,321 --> 00:09:50,190
Stop him. Stop him! Stop him!
[SCREAMS]
180
00:09:50,390 --> 00:09:53,526
Ow! Ow-w-w-w.
181
00:09:53,726 --> 00:09:56,796
A reporter.
You lied to me.
182
00:09:56,996 --> 00:09:58,998
| think
that we’re even.
183
00:09:59,199 --> 00:10:01,101
This is Farnum.
What's this all about anyhow?
184
00:10:01,301 --> 00:10:05,805
You. Who have a house
full of booby traps.
185
00:10:06,05 --> 00:10:09,442
You ask me
what this is all about?
186
00:10:09,642 --> 00:10:10,743
Shall I--?
No, no. no.
187
00:10:10,944 --> 00:10:12,512
You go out and make some coffee.
188
00:10:12,712 --> 00:10:14,347
With your hands.
189
00:10:15,682 --> 00:10:18,885
Major. You have got
some explaining to do.
190
00:10:19,85 --> 00:10:21,488
Mr. Farnum,
| believe at my press conference
191
00:10:21,688 --> 00:10:23,389
| told you all reporters
that my private life
192
00:10:23,590 --> 00:10:25,525
is my own personal business.
193
00:10:25,725 --> 00:10:29,395
Forget it, major.
You are public property.
194
00:10:29,596 --> 00:10:31,998
And when,
on top of being an astronaut,
195
00:10:32,198 --> 00:10:35,301
you have got a house
that is like Sing Sing South,
196
00:10:35,502 --> 00:10:37,871
and a girlfriend
who thinks she’s a genie,
197
00:10:38,71 --> 00:10:40,306
and goes around the house
calling you "master,"
198
00:10:40,507 --> 00:10:42,408
well, I'd say that was news.
199
00:10:42,609 --> 00:10:45,278
If you think it’s news,
you just go ahead and print it.
200
00:10:45,478 --> 00:10:47,280
Nobody in their right mind
is gonna believe it.
201
00:10:47,480 --> 00:10:49,182
On the other hand, now,
202
00:10:49,382 --> 00:10:51,718
if you want to be sensible
about this,
203
00:10:51,918 --> 00:10:54,454
maybe we can come
to some sort of an arrangement.
204
00:10:54,654 --> 00:10:55,588
Like what?
205
00:10:55,788 --> 00:10:57,390
Well, like you tell me
your whole story.
206
00:10:57,590 --> 00:10:59,792
Your hopes, your dreams,
your bank balance,
207
00:10:59,993 --> 00:11:02,562
about this genie lady,
I'll write the story,
208
00:11:02,762 --> 00:11:04,531
win the Pulitzer Prize,
sell it to the movies,
209
00:11:04,731 --> 00:11:05,732
and you'll be off the hook.
210
00:11:05,932 --> 00:11:07,800
Yeah, that’s what you think.
211
00:11:08,01 --> 00:11:09,636
No dice, Farnum.
Take your best shot.
212
00:11:09,836 --> 00:11:11,371
Hm. Well.
213
00:11:11,571 --> 00:11:13,39
| think that you're
gonna be surprised
214
00:11:13,239 --> 00:11:15,508
at how good my best shot is.
215
00:11:15,708 --> 00:11:18,611
Well. Your word against mine.
Yes, my word...
216
00:11:18,811 --> 00:11:19,646
[CHUCKLES]
217
00:11:19,846 --> 00:11:21,948
..and a roll of film
and a spool of tape.
218
00:11:22,148 --> 00:11:23,950
So long, major.
See you on the front page.
219
00:11:24,150 --> 00:11:25,652
Huh?
Coffee is ready, master.
220
00:11:25,852 --> 00:11:27,320
Now, wait a minute.
221
00:11:28,588 --> 00:11:29,923
Are you gonna take
these bars away,
222
00:11:30,123 --> 00:11:32,892
or do | have to add a section
on how you kidnap reporters too?
223
00:11:34,127 --> 00:11:35,595
Go ahead, Jeannie.
Take the bars away.
224
00:11:35,795 --> 00:11:37,197
| think he’s got us.
Yes, master.
225
00:11:40,567 --> 00:11:42,669
Where’d that go?
How'd they do that?
226
00:11:42,869 --> 00:11:44,671
How has he got us?
227
00:11:44,871 --> 00:11:46,573
Oh, he’s got a spool of tape
and a roll of film.
228
00:11:46,773 --> 00:11:50,143
JEANNIE:
Oh, that is what he was putting
in his tool chest.
229
00:11:50,343 --> 00:11:52,78
In his tool chest? Stop him.
230
00:11:52,278 --> 00:11:53,580
Stop him!
Yes, master.
231
00:11:55,281 --> 00:11:56,983
Now, look, Nelson.
232
00:11:57,817 --> 00:11:59,352
The tool chest.
233
00:11:59,552 --> 00:12:00,820
Come on, Jeannie.
The tool chest.
234
00:12:01,20 --> 00:12:01,921
Oh, yes, master.
235
00:12:03,156 --> 00:12:04,490
[GIGGLES]
236
00:12:04,691 --> 00:12:06,726
Yes. Hand it over, Farnum.
237
00:12:06,926 --> 00:12:08,661
Oh, no, you don't.
Oh, no, you don't.
238
00:12:08,861 --> 00:12:10,930
This is my personal property.
Okay, Jeannie.
239
00:12:11,130 --> 00:12:12,765
Oh, with pleasure, master.
240
00:12:17,537 --> 00:12:19,405
[GIGGLING]
241
00:12:25,11 --> 00:12:27,313
Okay.
I’ll get you for this, Nelson.
242
00:12:27,513 --> 00:12:30,416
Nobody ever gets the best
of Charlie Farnum.
243
00:12:32,51 --> 00:12:33,186
[Pal]
244
00:12:34,287 --> 00:12:35,355
Well, then.
245
00:12:35,555 --> 00:12:37,323
How does it feel to be
two of America’s heroes?
246
00:12:37,523 --> 00:12:39,192
Well, I’ve always been
loyal, brave, true,
247
00:12:39,392 --> 00:12:40,793
kind to small children
and animals--
248
00:12:40,994 --> 00:12:42,528
We were just doing
Our job, sir.
249
00:12:42,729 --> 00:12:44,97
WOMAN:
Tony!
250
00:12:44,297 --> 00:12:49,636
Darling, after all these years,
I’ve finally found you again.
251
00:12:49,836 --> 00:12:53,373
Yeah, hi. I’m sorry.
I’m sorry, ma’am.
252
00:12:53,573 --> 00:12:54,974
Who are you?
253
00:12:55,174 --> 00:12:57,810
Tony, don’t you recognize
your own wife and children?
254
00:12:58,11 --> 00:13:00,79
[Pal]
255
00:13:02,849 --> 00:13:04,717
Major Nelson,
what’s the meaning of this?
256
00:13:04,917 --> 00:13:06,386
| don’t know, sir.
l-I-| don’t know.
257
00:13:06,586 --> 00:13:08,988
I’ve never seen these people.
Would you let go, lady?
258
00:13:09,188 --> 00:13:11,491
| don’t blame you
for not recognizing the kids.
259
00:13:11,691 --> 00:13:14,127
They was only little tykes
when he ran out on us.
260
00:13:14,327 --> 00:13:15,995
But me, Tony,
your own wife.
261
00:13:16,195 --> 00:13:18,464
Have | changed
that much?
262
00:13:18,665 --> 00:13:20,133
[KIDS BABBLING]
263
00:13:20,333 --> 00:13:21,301
I-- I’m not your daddy, son.
264
00:13:21,501 --> 00:13:23,169
| mean, I’m not your daddy,
period.
265
00:13:23,369 --> 00:13:24,470
Madam. Madam.
266
00:13:24,671 --> 00:13:25,738
Oh, madam, please.
267
00:13:25,938 --> 00:13:27,607
I’m afraid you’ve made
a terrible mistake.
268
00:13:27,807 --> 00:13:30,510
You see, we have complete
records on Major Nelson,
269
00:13:30,710 --> 00:13:32,345
and he’s never been married.
270
00:13:32,545 --> 00:13:34,380
No, sir,
you wouldn't know about it.
271
00:13:34,580 --> 00:13:36,983
He kept it a secret
the whole time we was together.
272
00:13:37,183 --> 00:13:39,385
You see, his folks
was against it.
273
00:13:39,585 --> 00:13:41,321
Oh, but here’s
a marriage license.
274
00:13:41,521 --> 00:13:43,22
Marriage?
License?
275
00:13:43,222 --> 00:13:44,791
Let me see.
Yeah, right there.
276
00:13:44,991 --> 00:13:47,593
TONY: Hey, wait a minute!
WOMAN: His marriage license.
277
00:13:47,794 --> 00:13:49,862
Let’s all board
the astronaut engine.
278
00:13:50,63 --> 00:13:51,264
[GASPS]
279
00:13:51,464 --> 00:13:54,100
Would you--? Sir, that signature
is obviously a forgery.
280
00:13:54,300 --> 00:13:56,302
My signature is public record.
It’s a forgery.
281
00:13:56,502 --> 00:13:58,738
Obviously a forgery.
Well, then there's this:
282
00:13:58,938 --> 00:14:00,873
Taken 10 years ago.
283
00:14:01,74 --> 00:14:02,475
Before little Joey was born.
284
00:14:02,675 --> 00:14:04,644
Sir, my picture’s been
in all the papers for years.
285
00:14:04,844 --> 00:14:05,978
That’s been doctored.
286
00:14:06,179 --> 00:14:08,47
You certainly haven't
changed much in 10 years.
287
00:14:08,247 --> 00:14:11,17
[SHOUTS]
Would you mind explaining?
288
00:14:12,218 --> 00:14:14,120
[SOBBING]
289
00:14:14,320 --> 00:14:16,756
Tony, how can you
say things like that.
290
00:14:16,956 --> 00:14:18,991
When | treasured
this picture for 10 years
291
00:14:19,192 --> 00:14:21,961
not knowing where you were
or if you were alive.
292
00:14:22,161 --> 00:14:23,329
And then when | read
in the paper
293
00:14:23,529 --> 00:14:25,498
that you had become
an astronaut, well--
294
00:14:25,698 --> 00:14:26,866
[SOBBING]
295
00:14:27,66 --> 00:14:29,669
Oh, now, madam, please.
Please. Don't cry, please.
296
00:14:29,869 --> 00:14:32,739
All this is going to be
thoroughly straightened out.
297
00:14:32,939 --> 00:14:35,708
And | promise you a very fair--
Please, sir.
298
00:14:35,908 --> 00:14:37,210
A fair hearing.
299
00:14:37,410 --> 00:14:39,412
And until then,
you'll just have to wait.
300
00:14:39,612 --> 00:14:41,214
But we've waited so long.
301
00:14:41,414 --> 00:14:42,815
And besides,
we don't have any money.
302
00:14:43,15 --> 00:14:45,485
We spent it all on bus fare.
[CRASHING]
303
00:14:45,685 --> 00:14:46,486
Where will we stay?
304
00:14:46,686 --> 00:14:48,321
TONY:
Hey, wait a minute!
305
00:14:48,521 --> 00:14:51,457
What’ll become of the children?
306
00:14:51,657 --> 00:14:53,993
Why don’t we put them
at Tony’s house? He has room.
307
00:14:54,193 --> 00:14:56,295
Roger!
That would be a good solution.
308
00:14:56,496 --> 00:14:57,897
Nobody’s staying at my house.
309
00:14:58,97 --> 00:15:01,67
Children, did you hear that?
We're gonna live with Daddy.
310
00:15:01,267 --> 00:15:03,102
Hey, hey.
311
00:15:03,302 --> 00:15:05,605
Hey, hey, take it easy!
All right, major. Hold it.
312
00:15:07,540 --> 00:15:09,208
All right, the two kids
can sleep upstairs,
313
00:15:09,409 --> 00:15:10,643
and you can sleep in there,
Mrs.--
314
00:15:10,843 --> 00:15:13,12
WOMAN: "Nelson," naturally.
Naturally?
315
00:15:13,212 --> 00:15:14,480
[Pal]
316
00:15:14,680 --> 00:15:16,182
Hey, hey, hey.
317
00:15:18,584 --> 00:15:20,820
TONY:
Roger, would you
do something?
318
00:15:21,20 --> 00:15:22,622
Children.
| don't have it.
319
00:15:22,822 --> 00:15:24,424
Children.
320
00:15:26,726 --> 00:15:28,361
Throw it over here.
| got it, Tony.
321
00:15:28,561 --> 00:15:29,862
Oh, stop.
322
00:15:30,62 --> 00:15:31,631
All right, take it easy.
Down, down.
323
00:15:31,831 --> 00:15:32,632
Interesting bottle.
324
00:15:32,832 --> 00:15:35,34
Huh?
325
00:15:35,234 --> 00:15:36,235
Oh, shh!
326
00:15:39,272 --> 00:15:40,540
You all go up
and mind your mother.
327
00:15:40,740 --> 00:15:41,541
Go upstairs.
Go on.
328
00:15:41,741 --> 00:15:43,843
Come on, children.
Enjoyed the game.
329
00:15:44,43 --> 00:15:48,181
You remember.
| always was an obedient wife.
330
00:15:48,381 --> 00:15:50,750
Yeah. Upstairs, or--
All right.
331
00:15:50,950 --> 00:15:52,151
She is obedient.
332
00:15:54,20 --> 00:15:56,589
Jeannie, are you all right?
She looks a little dizzy to me.
333
00:15:56,789 --> 00:15:58,591
From being thrown around
in that bottle.
Yeah.
334
00:15:58,791 --> 00:16:01,627
You have a wife
and two children.
335
00:16:01,828 --> 00:16:04,96
You don’t believe that, do you?
336
00:16:04,297 --> 00:16:05,631
That’s a fraud.
337
00:16:05,832 --> 00:16:07,733
Farnum must be trying
to set me up or blackmail me.
338
00:16:07,934 --> 00:16:10,670
| mean, just because
she has a marriage license...
339
00:16:10,870 --> 00:16:12,872
Roger, that’s not necessary.
A marriage license.
340
00:16:13,72 --> 00:16:14,06
Look, Jeannie.
Ohl!
341
00:16:14,207 --> 00:16:16,08
It’s a put up job, really.
It's not--
342
00:16:16,209 --> 00:16:18,544
| need your help. | really do.
You've gotta help him.
343
00:16:18,744 --> 00:16:20,880
| mean, the family picture
with Tony and his kids, I--
344
00:16:21,80 --> 00:16:23,282
Oh, Major Healey. A picture?
345
00:16:23,483 --> 00:16:25,384
A picture?
Why don’t you just go home? Go.
346
00:16:25,585 --> 00:16:27,153
Oh, you want to be alone
with your wife.
347
00:16:27,353 --> 00:16:29,55
You haven’t seen her
in 10 years.
348
00:16:29,255 --> 00:16:30,356
[PHONE RINGS, DOORBELL DINGS]
349
00:16:30,556 --> 00:16:32,758
Roger, why don’t you--?
ll get it.
350
00:16:32,959 --> 00:16:34,93
Stay here and don’t move.
351
00:16:35,228 --> 00:16:36,262
Stay there.
352
00:16:36,462 --> 00:16:37,897
[DOORBELL DINGS]
353
00:16:41,667 --> 00:16:43,102
Extra, extra. Read all about it.
354
00:16:43,302 --> 00:16:44,770
Astronaut deserts
wife and children.
355
00:16:44,971 --> 00:16:46,239
Read all about it.
356
00:16:46,439 --> 00:16:47,840
|, uh-- | rather expected you.
357
00:16:48,40 --> 00:16:49,542
Don't try and get this picture,
major,
358
00:16:49,742 --> 00:16:51,878
because | have got the negatives
safely stashed away
359
00:16:52,78 --> 00:16:54,380
where you and your magician
of a girlfriend can’t get at it.
360
00:16:54,580 --> 00:16:56,782
You know, you really amaze me,
going to all this trouble.
361
00:16:56,983 --> 00:16:58,484
Setting me up with a wife
and two children
362
00:16:58,684 --> 00:17:00,553
just so you can get the story
of my private life.
363
00:17:00,753 --> 00:17:02,121
You know us newsmen, major.
364
00:17:02,321 --> 00:17:04,724
If we can’t get the real story,
we create one.
365
00:17:04,924 --> 00:17:06,125
Then you admit it.
Sure.
366
00:17:06,325 --> 00:17:07,460
The only question is,
367
00:17:07,660 --> 00:17:08,461
what do you do?
368
00:17:08,661 --> 00:17:10,29
Do | get the real story,
369
00:17:10,229 --> 00:17:12,265
or do | spread this one
all over the front pages?
370
00:17:12,465 --> 00:17:14,133
Does that convince you, Jeannie?
371
00:17:16,402 --> 00:17:17,770
Jeannie? Where’s Jeannie?
372
00:17:17,970 --> 00:17:19,171
Gone.
Gone?
373
00:17:19,372 --> 00:17:21,40
Yeah, she said she didn't
wanna stay around
374
00:17:21,240 --> 00:17:22,108
and be the other woman.
375
00:17:22,308 --> 00:17:23,409
[GROANS]
376
00:17:23,609 --> 00:17:24,877
Don't worry, Tony.
377
00:17:25,77 --> 00:17:26,78
This time | believe you.
378
00:17:29,949 --> 00:17:31,317
Oh, excuse me, major.
Hello, sir.
379
00:17:31,517 --> 00:17:32,818
Have you found out
anything yet?
380
00:17:33,19 --> 00:17:35,288
Well, now,
these things take time, major.
381
00:17:35,488 --> 00:17:37,757
We gotta check back 10 years
into her story as well as yours.
382
00:17:37,957 --> 00:17:40,359
How about those kids?
They’re monsters. You don’t--
383
00:17:40,560 --> 00:17:42,762
Hello, darling.
There they are.
384
00:17:42,962 --> 00:17:44,830
Good morning, Dr. Bellows.
Good morning.
385
00:17:45,31 --> 00:17:47,466
It'd be nice if you took
the children and me to lunch.
386
00:17:47,667 --> 00:17:48,668
Lunch?
Yes.
387
00:17:48,868 --> 00:17:50,636
Good morn--
Good morning, Dr. Bellows.
388
00:17:50,836 --> 00:17:51,637
Good morning.
389
00:17:51,837 --> 00:17:53,339
That sure is
a great-looking uniform.
390
00:17:53,539 --> 00:17:54,941
Well, thank you, son.
391
00:17:55,141 --> 00:17:56,642
Good morning, Uncle Alfred.
392
00:17:56,842 --> 00:17:58,344
You sure do look good
this morning.
393
00:17:58,544 --> 00:17:59,712
Well, thank you.
394
00:17:59,912 --> 00:18:01,914
Monsters?
Why, they’re charming.
395
00:18:02,114 --> 00:18:04,150
And this one’s
the spitting image of you.
396
00:18:04,350 --> 00:18:07,219
Now, boys. On the way out,
be sure you stop into my office.
397
00:18:07,420 --> 00:18:10,56
| have some bubblegum for you.
Hey, that’s great.
398
00:18:10,256 --> 00:18:12,158
Yeah, great.
No, Dr. Bellows, please.
399
00:18:12,358 --> 00:18:13,292
Don’t go, Dr. Bellows.
400
00:18:13,492 --> 00:18:15,328
[Pal]
401
00:18:15,528 --> 00:18:17,997
Hey, hey, hey. Take it easy.
402
00:18:18,197 --> 00:18:19,65
Wait a minute.
403
00:18:19,265 --> 00:18:21,267
Hey, kids, wait a minute,
will you?
404
00:18:21,467 --> 00:18:23,970
That’s my stuff. Hey.
405
00:18:25,104 --> 00:18:26,405
Easy, easy.
406
00:18:27,106 --> 00:18:28,641
[Pal]
407
00:18:42,455 --> 00:18:44,857
Oh, God.
408
00:18:48,94 --> 00:18:49,795
[WHISTLES]
409
00:18:49,996 --> 00:18:52,298
Hi, Ton.
410
00:18:52,498 --> 00:18:55,601
Say, | was wondering.
Could you lend me 10 dollars?
411
00:18:55,801 --> 00:18:57,870
Tony?
412
00:18:58,70 --> 00:18:59,939
What are you doing on the desk?
413
00:19:00,139 --> 00:19:01,641
I’m sleeping on my desk.
414
00:19:01,841 --> 00:19:03,409
Why are you sleeping
on your desk?
415
00:19:03,609 --> 00:19:05,344
Because somebody's
sleeping in my house.
416
00:19:05,544 --> 00:19:06,879
Oh, I’m sorry.
417
00:19:07,79 --> 00:19:10,316
What’s the matter with me,
you can come stay at my place.
418
00:19:10,516 --> 00:19:14,20
Could |?
Could you? What's a friend for?
419
00:19:14,220 --> 00:19:16,322
Thanks, Roge.
There’s only one thing.
420
00:19:16,522 --> 00:19:18,557
Make sure there’s
no porch light on.
421
00:19:18,758 --> 00:19:20,793
Okay. | can sleep up
in your bed in the den.
422
00:19:20,993 --> 00:19:24,430
And one other thing. Make sure
it’s after 2:00 in the morning.
423
00:19:24,630 --> 00:19:26,65
After 2:00 in the morning?
424
00:19:26,265 --> 00:19:27,767
Oh, and very important.
425
00:19:27,967 --> 00:19:29,235
If there’s no key
under the mat...
426
00:19:29,435 --> 00:19:31,437
TONY: Forget it.
...forget it.
427
00:19:35,675 --> 00:19:36,976
[CLEARS THROAT]
428
00:19:38,711 --> 00:19:40,780
Jeannie, where have you been?
429
00:19:40,980 --> 00:19:43,215
In Reno.
Reno, Nevada?
430
00:19:43,416 --> 00:19:46,619
No. Reno, Persia.
What?
431
00:19:46,819 --> 00:19:49,555
That is where genies go to get
divorced from their masters.
432
00:19:49,755 --> 00:19:51,557
Sign here.
What are you talking--?
433
00:19:51,757 --> 00:19:54,126
And here. And here, and here.
Wait a minute.
434
00:19:54,326 --> 00:19:56,762
| told you, this whole thing
was a put up job, Jeannie.
435
00:19:56,962 --> 00:19:58,164
When | accepted you
as my master,
436
00:19:58,364 --> 00:20:01,300
| had no idea you had
a wife and two children.
437
00:20:01,500 --> 00:20:03,302
That is grounds
for legal separation.
438
00:20:03,502 --> 00:20:04,770
Sign, please.
439
00:20:04,970 --> 00:20:06,839
And initial the writer.
The writer?
440
00:20:07,39 --> 00:20:09,909
FARNUM:
Extra, extra. Read all about it.
441
00:20:11,177 --> 00:20:12,545
Its Farnum. Get out, Jeannie.
442
00:20:12,745 --> 00:20:16,15
Get in here, get in here.
lam sorry, former master.
443
00:20:16,215 --> 00:20:18,250
Section four, paragraph B.
444
00:20:18,451 --> 00:20:19,952
Get in here, will you?
Just get in here.
445
00:20:20,152 --> 00:20:22,321
"When a genie
is formally separated
446
00:20:22,521 --> 00:20:24,123
"her former master no longer
has the right
447
00:20:24,323 --> 00:20:25,958
to give her orders."
448
00:20:26,158 --> 00:20:28,294
Until | sign that paper,
I’m still your master.
449
00:20:28,494 --> 00:20:31,97
Now, get in there,
and I’m not kidding you. Go on.
450
00:20:31,297 --> 00:20:34,500
All right.
But this is the last time.
451
00:20:34,700 --> 00:20:35,601
Oh, boy.
452
00:20:39,238 --> 00:20:41,107
All right,
that’s your last chance, major.
453
00:20:41,307 --> 00:20:43,08
The late edition
is going to bed in two hours.
454
00:20:43,209 --> 00:20:46,11
Now, it is up to you whether
it carries a front page story
455
00:20:46,212 --> 00:20:48,380
of Tony Nelson, wife-deserter,
or not.
456
00:20:48,581 --> 00:20:49,815
Okay, Farnum.
457
00:20:50,15 --> 00:20:51,317
| guess you got me.
458
00:20:51,517 --> 00:20:54,487
Well.
Finally you’re being sensible.
459
00:20:54,687 --> 00:20:55,888
| mean,
we can start right now.
460
00:20:56,88 --> 00:20:57,490
| want you to promise
that you'll tell
461
00:20:57,690 --> 00:20:58,724
Dr. Bellows that you
cooked up
462
00:20:58,924 --> 00:21:00,960
the whole idea about
the marriage.
Sure. Listen.
463
00:21:01,160 --> 00:21:03,763
all | wanna do
is get the real story.
464
00:21:03,963 --> 00:21:06,198
| was beginning to miss
the wife and kids anyway.
465
00:21:06,398 --> 00:21:08,367
You mean,
those are your wife and kids?
466
00:21:08,567 --> 00:21:11,504
| always say the family that
works together, stays together.
467
00:21:11,704 --> 00:21:12,972
[LAUGHS]
468
00:21:13,172 --> 00:21:14,273
[CHUCKLES]
469
00:21:14,473 --> 00:21:15,441
That's right.
470
00:21:15,641 --> 00:21:17,42
What the heck is that?
471
00:21:17,243 --> 00:21:19,779
That, my friend,
is my genie.
472
00:21:31,357 --> 00:21:32,691
[Pal]
473
00:21:34,160 --> 00:21:37,830
There's a little
tiny lady in there.
474
00:21:38,30 --> 00:21:39,465
Yeah. That's right.
475
00:21:40,466 --> 00:21:41,267
[SCREAMS]
476
00:21:41,467 --> 00:21:41,767
[SCREAMS]
477
00:21:41,801 --> 00:21:42,835
Yeah, yeah, okay.
478
00:21:43,35 --> 00:21:44,904
Oh, master, I’m so sorry
| did not believe you.
479
00:21:45,104 --> 00:21:47,72
How can you forgive me?
Okay. All right.
480
00:21:47,273 --> 00:21:48,240
Just do everything | say.
481
00:21:48,440 --> 00:21:51,10
But do you know
what you're doing?
482
00:21:51,210 --> 00:21:53,846
| know exactly what I’m doing.
Would you like a picture?
483
00:21:54,46 --> 00:21:55,381
What?
A picture.
484
00:21:55,581 --> 00:21:57,16
A picture. Yes, why not.
485
00:21:57,216 --> 00:21:59,185
| mean,
l’ll take a little shot there.
486
00:21:59,385 --> 00:22:01,887
You don't mind.
Why don’t you get close together
487
00:22:02,87 --> 00:22:04,89
and smile
and look right this way?
488
00:22:04,290 --> 00:22:07,26
Look at me.
That’s it, now hold-- Hold it.
489
00:22:07,226 --> 00:22:09,562
There.
Good, good. Now blink us home.
490
00:22:09,762 --> 00:22:11,463
Him too?
Yes, him too.
491
00:22:11,664 --> 00:22:13,32
All right.
492
00:22:15,568 --> 00:22:16,435
[SCREAMS]
493
00:22:16,635 --> 00:22:18,404
It’s okay. It’s okay.
494
00:22:18,604 --> 00:22:19,905
Jeannie’s been around
a long time.
495
00:22:20,105 --> 00:22:22,74
She does a little magic here,
a little magic there.
496
00:22:22,274 --> 00:22:25,144
Charlie. Charlie,
he’s handing you a line.
497
00:22:25,344 --> 00:22:27,12
Can’t you see it?
498
00:22:27,213 --> 00:22:28,714
Well, would you do one--?
499
00:22:28,914 --> 00:22:31,83
Get her to do one of, you know,
of those tricks.
500
00:22:31,283 --> 00:22:32,418
Yeah.
For my wife.
501
00:22:32,618 --> 00:22:33,519
Well, | don’t know.
502
00:22:33,719 --> 00:22:35,287
Jeannie, would you like
to do a trick?
503
00:22:35,487 --> 00:22:36,355
Well, what should | do?
504
00:22:36,555 --> 00:22:38,224
| don’t know,
think of something.
505
00:22:38,424 --> 00:22:41,227
| know. | know.
All right.
506
00:22:42,728 --> 00:22:43,596
[SCREAMING]
507
00:22:43,796 --> 00:22:45,264
Do something for the kids,
will you?
508
00:22:45,464 --> 00:22:46,565
Oh, yes, master.
509
00:22:48,801 --> 00:22:52,37
Balloons are always
such a nice touch.
510
00:22:53,239 --> 00:22:54,440
[ALL BABBLING]
511
00:22:54,640 --> 00:22:58,444
Wait, wait, wait. Will you wait?
Will you just wait, please?
512
00:22:58,644 --> 00:23:01,614
Now, you see, the wife
and the kids are mine, colonel.
513
00:23:01,814 --> 00:23:02,982
But | had to do that
514
00:23:03,182 --> 00:23:04,783
in order to get
Major Nelson’s real story,
515
00:23:04,984 --> 00:23:06,952
and it is a dilly.
516
00:23:07,152 --> 00:23:12,458
He has a girlfriend, who--
She can make herself this small.
517
00:23:12,658 --> 00:23:13,459
Really?
518
00:23:13,659 --> 00:23:15,928
[GIGGLING]
519
00:23:16,128 --> 00:23:18,697
Yeah, she hides in pencil boxes.
520
00:23:18,898 --> 00:23:21,300
And she can move people around,
521
00:23:21,500 --> 00:23:23,702
you see,
from one place to another.
522
00:23:23,903 --> 00:23:27,473
Give me the air police.
523
00:23:27,673 --> 00:23:30,276
| Knew you'd feel that way
when | told you the story,
524
00:23:30,476 --> 00:23:31,410
so | brought pictures.
525
00:23:31,610 --> 00:23:33,379
| mean, real-- Many pictures.
Pictures?
526
00:23:33,579 --> 00:23:34,647
Yeah.
Really?
527
00:23:34,847 --> 00:23:37,516
I'll call you right back.
528
00:23:37,716 --> 00:23:39,785
A little underdeveloped.
What happened?
529
00:23:39,985 --> 00:23:44,890
Hides in a pencil box? Really.
530
00:23:45,90 --> 00:23:46,392
[GIGGLING]
531
00:23:50,829 --> 00:23:52,665
[Pal]
35736
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