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1
00:00:11,592 --> 00:00:14,576
If you ask me, any room
with Patty and Selma in it
2
00:00:14,578 --> 00:00:16,078
is an escape room.
3
00:00:16,080 --> 00:00:18,597
I know you don't like
Patty, Selma,
4
00:00:18,673 --> 00:00:20,024
puzzles, or parties,
5
00:00:20,026 --> 00:00:24,236
but try to enjoy Patty
and Selma's puzzle party.
6
00:00:26,757 --> 00:00:30,942
Comrades, as your damaged
Soviet submarine sinks,
7
00:00:31,095 --> 00:00:34,596
you must solve
a series of puzzles to escape.
8
00:00:34,615 --> 00:00:35,706
Should you need help,
9
00:00:35,783 --> 00:00:38,691
you can request
up to five hints.
10
00:00:40,454 --> 00:00:42,621
We've escaped
from every fake dungeon,
11
00:00:42,697 --> 00:00:43,881
zombie space station,
12
00:00:44,032 --> 00:00:46,124
and unlicensed Hogwarts
in this county
13
00:00:46,201 --> 00:00:47,793
with no hints.
14
00:00:47,945 --> 00:00:50,387
Good luck and do svidaniya.
15
00:00:50,497 --> 00:00:51,797
I escaped!
16
00:00:51,949 --> 00:00:53,039
See you later.
17
00:00:54,952 --> 00:00:56,894
Lisa, search
the captain's locker.
18
00:00:57,045 --> 00:00:59,563
Marge, torpedo bay!
19
00:01:01,716 --> 00:01:02,791
Hint!
20
00:01:02,793 --> 00:01:03,400
No!
21
00:01:03,477 --> 00:01:04,884
No hints!
22
00:01:04,904 --> 00:01:06,962
That door is painted on, sir.
23
00:01:06,964 --> 00:01:08,630
You've used one hint.
24
00:01:08,632 --> 00:01:11,408
You ruined our perfect
hint-free streak,
25
00:01:11,485 --> 00:01:14,745
you Crisco-chugging
pistachio brain!
26
00:01:14,747 --> 00:01:16,580
Yeah? Well, you're a...
27
00:01:16,657 --> 00:01:18,565
a, a... Hint!
28
00:01:18,642 --> 00:01:20,992
I don't know.
Something about her hair, maybe?
29
00:01:21,069 --> 00:01:22,920
That doesn't count as a hint!
30
00:01:23,071 --> 00:01:24,146
Yes, it does!
31
00:01:26,241 --> 00:01:28,717
Separate.
32
00:01:32,990 --> 00:01:34,414
Homer, away.
33
00:01:34,491 --> 00:01:35,766
Patty, tss, tss!
34
00:01:35,917 --> 00:01:38,009
Selma, corner. Corner!
35
00:01:42,108 --> 00:01:45,925
Why was I in another awards show
"in memoriam" package?
36
00:01:46,003 --> 00:01:47,277
Okay, then.
37
00:01:47,279 --> 00:01:49,446
Then why did they boo me?
38
00:01:49,523 --> 00:01:50,872
Okay, then.
39
00:01:50,874 --> 00:01:53,008
Herschella!
40
00:01:53,026 --> 00:01:55,677
If you're wearing a robe,
cinch it.
41
00:01:55,679 --> 00:01:57,028
Aunt Sadie!
42
00:01:57,105 --> 00:01:59,848
My favorite aunt
who still talks to me!
43
00:01:59,850 --> 00:02:02,534
To what do I owe
this barging-in?
44
00:02:02,611 --> 00:02:05,963
Sideshow Mel asked me
to be a guest on your podcast.
45
00:02:06,039 --> 00:02:07,873
I have a podcast?
46
00:02:07,949 --> 00:02:09,524
Talking Krusty!
47
00:02:09,543 --> 00:02:12,118
It's that thing where people
who worked on a TV show
48
00:02:12,138 --> 00:02:13,786
talk about old episodes.
49
00:02:13,864 --> 00:02:14,863
What do you call it?
50
00:02:14,882 --> 00:02:17,199
A-a rewatch podcast.
51
00:02:17,201 --> 00:02:20,293
Why has this been hidden
from me?!
52
00:02:24,466 --> 00:02:26,984
So, right in the middle
of the Game of Thrones sketch
53
00:02:27,060 --> 00:02:28,894
where the thrones were toilets,
54
00:02:28,970 --> 00:02:30,879
the cue cards went missing.
55
00:02:30,898 --> 00:02:32,063
What a story!
56
00:02:32,065 --> 00:02:33,640
Only in showbiz.
57
00:02:33,659 --> 00:02:37,068
Why the hell didn't you tell me
about this show about my show?!
58
00:02:37,221 --> 00:02:39,312
We begged you many times
to come on.
59
00:02:39,390 --> 00:02:41,406
Shut up,
you backstabbing traitor!
60
00:02:41,483 --> 00:02:43,225
Who the hell are you, Mustache?!
61
00:02:43,227 --> 00:02:45,002
And who's the skirt
in the pants?
62
00:02:45,078 --> 00:02:47,487
That's Wayne the Grip
and Jodie from Props.
63
00:02:47,564 --> 00:02:49,840
They've been with the show
since day one.
64
00:02:49,917 --> 00:02:51,842
What? You don't recognize
the people
65
00:02:51,919 --> 00:02:53,493
who work on your own show?
66
00:02:53,570 --> 00:02:54,845
Um...
67
00:03:00,835 --> 00:03:03,520
You're crying because they're
doing a podcast without you.
68
00:03:03,672 --> 00:03:05,096
Now here's your chance!
69
00:03:05,249 --> 00:03:06,748
So sit your butt in the chair
70
00:03:06,750 --> 00:03:09,193
and make with the reminiscing
with your friends from work.
71
00:03:09,269 --> 00:03:11,844
Yeah, my friends from work. I...
72
00:03:11,864 --> 00:03:14,031
Yeah.
73
00:03:23,267 --> 00:03:24,599
We've solved every puzzle.
74
00:03:24,601 --> 00:03:27,026
Why can't we find
the key to open the door?
75
00:03:27,104 --> 00:03:28,712
We've never failed
an escape room,
76
00:03:28,789 --> 00:03:30,605
and we're not starting now.
77
00:03:30,624 --> 00:03:32,382
Forgive me, Selma.
78
00:03:32,534 --> 00:03:34,109
Hint!
79
00:03:34,202 --> 00:03:37,128
The bald man who hates you found
the exit key 20 minutes ago
80
00:03:37,205 --> 00:03:40,206
and has been using it to scratch
his butt out of spite.
81
00:03:40,208 --> 00:03:42,226
Spite.
82
00:03:42,228 --> 00:03:44,619
Your mission has failed.
83
00:03:44,621 --> 00:03:47,622
The frozen sea
has claimed your bodies,
84
00:03:47,624 --> 00:03:51,551
and your grieving children
will be sent to the gulag.
85
00:03:51,553 --> 00:03:53,052
Happy birthday.
86
00:03:53,130 --> 00:03:54,479
We're dead?
87
00:03:54,556 --> 00:03:56,147
I'll kill you!
88
00:03:56,224 --> 00:03:59,201
Separate! Separate!
89
00:04:04,899 --> 00:04:06,141
We did it, boys.
90
00:04:06,143 --> 00:04:07,584
We prayed our way out.
91
00:04:07,661 --> 00:04:09,478
Yay!
92
00:04:09,496 --> 00:04:11,630
Birthday ruined!
93
00:04:16,853 --> 00:04:18,119
Okay, so there we are,
94
00:04:18,171 --> 00:04:20,079
in the finals of the kids' show
softball league.
95
00:04:20,099 --> 00:04:22,599
It is 110 degrees...
96
00:04:22,676 --> 00:04:25,343
and we're playing those
psycho cheaters from Bluey.
97
00:04:25,496 --> 00:04:29,331
They slide spikes up,
that's for sure.
98
00:04:31,110 --> 00:04:33,110
And this is another activity
you missed out on
99
00:04:33,186 --> 00:04:34,552
with your work family?
100
00:04:34,554 --> 00:04:35,762
I wasn't invited.
101
00:04:35,839 --> 00:04:36,838
That's on them.
102
00:04:36,857 --> 00:04:38,340
Well, in our defense,
103
00:04:38,358 --> 00:04:41,026
you don't seem like you want
to do things with the crew.
104
00:04:41,102 --> 00:04:42,953
You don't look anyone
in the eye,
105
00:04:43,030 --> 00:04:44,955
you address people
by their shirt color...
106
00:04:45,032 --> 00:04:46,957
That's not true, Green Shirt!
107
00:04:47,108 --> 00:04:48,350
Herschella Krustofsky,
108
00:04:48,352 --> 00:04:51,110
you self-absorbed,
degenerate freak!
109
00:04:51,188 --> 00:04:53,946
You're a lonely, sad narcissist
110
00:04:53,948 --> 00:04:56,449
who has no connection
to his fellow man.
111
00:04:56,527 --> 00:04:58,969
You're an empty
Hollywood elitist clown
112
00:04:59,087 --> 00:05:01,046
who's gonna die alone
on a toilet
113
00:05:01,048 --> 00:05:03,048
kissing your own headshot!
114
00:05:03,142 --> 00:05:05,142
I don't know
how to connect with nobodies.
115
00:05:05,144 --> 00:05:06,643
It's not my fault.
116
00:05:06,795 --> 00:05:08,979
Listen up and listen good.
117
00:05:09,056 --> 00:05:11,982
The problem is you!
118
00:05:13,377 --> 00:05:16,394
My God, you're right!
119
00:05:16,547 --> 00:05:17,654
I'm the problem!
120
00:05:17,731 --> 00:05:20,473
I worked with these good people
for 30 years,
121
00:05:20,551 --> 00:05:22,734
and I haven't made
a single friend!
122
00:05:24,813 --> 00:05:26,738
If I can't change,
123
00:05:26,815 --> 00:05:28,740
I'll never be happy!
124
00:05:31,411 --> 00:05:34,504
And we'll be back after
this word from 3 Day Clams,
125
00:05:34,581 --> 00:05:36,840
fresh clams from the sea
to your door
126
00:05:36,917 --> 00:05:39,092
in three business days.
127
00:05:40,420 --> 00:05:43,013
Listen up and listen good.
128
00:05:43,090 --> 00:05:45,740
The problem is you!
129
00:05:45,759 --> 00:05:47,926
Brake!
130
00:05:47,928 --> 00:05:49,836
"The problem is you."
131
00:05:49,855 --> 00:05:51,413
What a catchphrase!
132
00:05:51,431 --> 00:05:54,249
We could build an entire TV show
out of that.
133
00:05:54,267 --> 00:05:57,861
Krusty's brash, no-nonsense,
"tell it like it is" Aunt Sadie
134
00:05:57,938 --> 00:06:00,438
fixes broken relationships
in 30 minutes?
135
00:06:00,440 --> 00:06:03,942
Exactly. Like Judge Judy
but we get the money.
136
00:06:04,018 --> 00:06:07,353
All we have to do is choose the
heaviest metallic sound effect
137
00:06:07,355 --> 00:06:09,373
for when the title slams in.
138
00:06:11,268 --> 00:06:13,118
Coming up on The Problem Is You,
139
00:06:13,270 --> 00:06:16,605
Aunt Sadie faces
her toughest challenge yet.
140
00:06:16,623 --> 00:06:18,698
And I'm there, too!
141
00:06:18,775 --> 00:06:22,034
What's hiding
behind those chuckles?
142
00:06:22,054 --> 00:06:26,281
Another glass of rosé
will not fix this.
143
00:06:26,283 --> 00:06:29,709
And you won't believe
where the final finger points.
144
00:06:29,728 --> 00:06:32,979
The problem is you!
145
00:06:36,309 --> 00:06:40,219
Old Maid looks 20 years younger!
146
00:06:40,221 --> 00:06:42,981
Dad, I thought
you hated family game night.
147
00:06:43,057 --> 00:06:43,982
No.
148
00:06:44,134 --> 00:06:47,135
I hated
extended family game night
149
00:06:47,154 --> 00:06:49,154
with your evil, terrible aunts.
150
00:06:49,230 --> 00:06:50,989
Can you please make up
with them?
151
00:06:51,065 --> 00:06:53,232
We really need six people
to play
152
00:06:53,252 --> 00:06:56,144
The Three Duos
of Half-Dozen Mountain.
153
00:06:56,163 --> 00:06:58,070
Honey, if I could wave
a magic wand
154
00:06:58,148 --> 00:07:00,573
and make Patty and Selma
not suck, I would.
155
00:07:00,651 --> 00:07:04,094
But it's probably best we get
used to never seeing them again.
156
00:07:05,672 --> 00:07:07,097
Them!
157
00:07:07,174 --> 00:07:08,765
Where's Marge? Is she okay?
158
00:07:08,842 --> 00:07:11,751
She texted us she fell off
the roof cleaning the gutters.
159
00:07:11,753 --> 00:07:15,087
I lied about that
to get you all here together.
160
00:07:15,107 --> 00:07:16,998
I did clean the gutters, though.
161
00:07:17,017 --> 00:07:18,850
And I did fall off the roof.
162
00:07:18,927 --> 00:07:20,351
After all these years,
163
00:07:20,428 --> 00:07:24,022
it's obvious I can't get the
three of you to stop fighting.
164
00:07:25,509 --> 00:07:28,076
But I think
I found someone who can.
165
00:07:28,937 --> 00:07:31,771
Homer, Patty, Selma,
166
00:07:31,848 --> 00:07:33,348
by the time I'm done with you,
167
00:07:33,350 --> 00:07:35,867
you'll be as close
as a family can be.
168
00:07:41,616 --> 00:07:43,708
Marge, dear,
what's the who, why and how
169
00:07:43,785 --> 00:07:45,043
of this family row?
170
00:07:45,045 --> 00:07:47,137
Well, it's complicated.
171
00:07:47,255 --> 00:07:49,547
I hate jerks,
and they hate cool guys.
172
00:07:49,624 --> 00:07:50,715
End of story.
173
00:07:50,792 --> 00:07:52,717
We didn't like each other
from the start.
174
00:07:52,794 --> 00:07:57,463
But things got really ugly
at that fateful baby shower.
175
00:07:57,541 --> 00:08:00,633
We wanted that day to be perfect
for our sister.
176
00:08:00,635 --> 00:08:03,061
- And it was.
- Until this idiot
177
00:08:03,137 --> 00:08:05,897
botched the one and only job
we'd given him.
178
00:08:05,974 --> 00:08:06,990
I got the cake!
179
00:08:08,719 --> 00:08:10,385
We said a carrot cake!
180
00:08:10,387 --> 00:08:12,996
I know. But chocolate is
me and Marge's favorite.
181
00:08:14,224 --> 00:08:16,666
Luckily I brought
a backup carrot cake
182
00:08:16,743 --> 00:08:19,503
because I knew
the Impreginator here
183
00:08:19,505 --> 00:08:20,820
would screw it up.
184
00:08:21,898 --> 00:08:23,489
You undermining land hags!
185
00:08:23,567 --> 00:08:24,657
What's the matter?
186
00:08:24,735 --> 00:08:25,917
You tell these traitors
187
00:08:25,994 --> 00:08:28,011
that your favorite cake
is chocolate
188
00:08:28,013 --> 00:08:30,238
and that you despise carrot cake
189
00:08:30,240 --> 00:08:32,924
because it's a garden salad
with frosting!
190
00:08:33,076 --> 00:08:34,759
It's fine. It's fine.
191
00:08:34,836 --> 00:08:35,927
Please don't fight.
192
00:08:37,764 --> 00:08:39,247
See? See?
193
00:08:39,249 --> 00:08:40,915
I like both cakes.
194
00:08:40,917 --> 00:08:41,933
No, she doesn't!
195
00:08:42,085 --> 00:08:43,768
Eat wrong cake!
196
00:08:47,199 --> 00:08:49,090
It was at that moment I realized
197
00:08:49,092 --> 00:08:53,778
the only solution was to keep
my husband and sisters separated
198
00:08:53,780 --> 00:08:55,597
from then on.
199
00:08:55,615 --> 00:08:56,981
So, Marge, who was right?
200
00:08:57,059 --> 00:08:59,501
What is
your favorite cake flavor?
201
00:09:00,862 --> 00:09:02,653
It's neither! I like vanilla!
202
00:09:02,731 --> 00:09:03,788
Only vanilla!
203
00:09:03,865 --> 00:09:06,107
The less flavor, the better.
204
00:09:06,109 --> 00:09:08,385
Vanilla is the opposite
of chocolate!
205
00:09:08,461 --> 00:09:10,053
Carrot is the opposite of cake!
206
00:09:10,130 --> 00:09:12,781
Marge ruined her life
when she met you!
207
00:09:12,783 --> 00:09:15,892
Shut up! I've heard enough
of your bip-da-bip-da-bip!
208
00:09:15,894 --> 00:09:17,302
You three disgust me.
209
00:09:17,420 --> 00:09:19,954
May you walk
under a falling air conditioner.
210
00:09:19,956 --> 00:09:22,457
That said, the problem...
211
00:09:22,459 --> 00:09:23,641
is you!
212
00:09:24,644 --> 00:09:25,643
Me?
213
00:09:25,645 --> 00:09:27,128
How can I be the problem?
214
00:09:27,130 --> 00:09:28,963
I'm the Marge of this!
215
00:09:28,965 --> 00:09:30,465
Please.
216
00:09:30,467 --> 00:09:32,558
If you actually wanted peace,
217
00:09:32,636 --> 00:09:34,319
you'd stop interfering.
218
00:09:34,471 --> 00:09:37,155
Let these three lunatics
work out their mishegoss
219
00:09:37,231 --> 00:09:38,748
among themselves.
220
00:09:38,750 --> 00:09:41,659
Why on earth
would I want them to fight?
221
00:09:41,736 --> 00:09:43,328
So you could be the martyr.
222
00:09:43,330 --> 00:09:46,572
You keep them separated
so they won't stop fighting.
223
00:09:46,574 --> 00:09:49,259
God forbid they should ever bury
the hatchet and, who knows...
224
00:09:49,336 --> 00:09:50,835
become friends.
225
00:09:50,912 --> 00:09:54,823
Because then St. Marge
doesn't get to run the show.
226
00:09:54,825 --> 00:09:56,248
Aah!
227
00:09:56,268 --> 00:09:57,267
Hey!
228
00:09:57,269 --> 00:09:58,602
Lamp.
229
00:09:58,604 --> 00:10:01,420
That's the craziest thing
I ever heard!
230
00:10:01,422 --> 00:10:02,513
I'm the nicest!
231
00:10:02,590 --> 00:10:03,923
I love everyone!
232
00:10:04,000 --> 00:10:06,109
Out! Out! Out, out! Get out!
233
00:10:06,186 --> 00:10:08,612
I un-sign all the waivers!
234
00:10:08,688 --> 00:10:10,505
Shh, shoo, shoo, shoo!
235
00:10:10,507 --> 00:10:14,525
This is what showbiz is
all about, Wayne the Grip?
236
00:10:14,602 --> 00:10:15,510
The camaraderie.
237
00:10:15,512 --> 00:10:16,602
Why do you know my name?
238
00:10:16,680 --> 00:10:18,179
Please don't fire me.
239
00:10:18,181 --> 00:10:21,199
I need to support my stepson's
illegal street racing habit.
240
00:10:21,201 --> 00:10:23,627
Relax, my fruit-vaping friend.
241
00:10:23,629 --> 00:10:24,961
I'm just like you...
242
00:10:25,038 --> 00:10:27,372
a member of the crew family.
243
00:10:27,448 --> 00:10:29,466
Really? You always seemed
like you couldn't stand
244
00:10:29,542 --> 00:10:30,950
us below-the-line guys.
245
00:10:30,952 --> 00:10:32,618
What I can't stand
246
00:10:32,696 --> 00:10:35,046
is that old-fashioned
Hollywood expression.
247
00:10:35,123 --> 00:10:38,049
Why should there be
some imaginary line separating
248
00:10:38,051 --> 00:10:39,384
the so-called "talent"
249
00:10:39,536 --> 00:10:41,627
from the hardworking riffraff
like you?
250
00:10:41,647 --> 00:10:46,149
If I could, I'd make it
so the line never existed.
251
00:10:46,151 --> 00:10:48,134
That's pretty cool of you, man.
252
00:10:48,136 --> 00:10:51,546
You know, I'm hosting a crawfish
boil this weekend for the crew.
253
00:10:51,548 --> 00:10:52,714
You should come.
254
00:10:52,716 --> 00:10:54,716
You're inviting me
255
00:10:54,718 --> 00:10:56,642
to your that?
256
00:10:56,644 --> 00:10:58,161
Just watch out
for my friend Jimmy.
257
00:10:58,163 --> 00:11:00,813
He will flick you in the nuts
if you're not looking.
258
00:11:00,891 --> 00:11:03,391
I look forward to it.
259
00:11:03,393 --> 00:11:06,394
Where does that judgmental
old clown-aunt
260
00:11:06,396 --> 00:11:08,338
get off saying I'm the problem?
261
00:11:08,415 --> 00:11:11,082
How can I be the reason
you three don't get along?
262
00:11:11,234 --> 00:11:12,917
That lady's off her rocker.
263
00:11:12,994 --> 00:11:14,326
Thank you, sweetie.
264
00:11:14,404 --> 00:11:16,921
You always know
how to agree with me.
265
00:11:16,998 --> 00:11:19,265
Yes, I do.
266
00:11:20,577 --> 00:11:22,427
As if there were a world
267
00:11:22,503 --> 00:11:25,504
where I'd be friends
with my worst enemies.
268
00:11:25,506 --> 00:11:30,360
Friends with Patty and Selma.
269
00:11:45,602 --> 00:11:47,693
What are you doing here, Homer?
270
00:11:47,771 --> 00:11:48,786
This isn't you.
271
00:11:48,880 --> 00:11:51,172
You're not this person.
272
00:11:51,942 --> 00:11:53,775
So, here we all are.
273
00:11:53,777 --> 00:11:56,611
If I could have stayed away,
I would have.
274
00:11:56,629 --> 00:11:58,112
Part of me wants to run.
275
00:11:58,114 --> 00:12:00,206
Part of me knows
I'm through running.
276
00:12:01,375 --> 00:12:04,469
Do you think there's any truth
to what the mean lady said,
277
00:12:04,621 --> 00:12:08,306
that we would be friends
if not for Marge?
278
00:12:08,308 --> 00:12:10,308
I know I don't want
to believe it.
279
00:12:10,384 --> 00:12:12,627
We need to figure out
if this is real.
280
00:12:12,629 --> 00:12:15,554
I know a place where
we can explore these feelings
281
00:12:15,632 --> 00:12:17,982
discreetly.
282
00:12:18,059 --> 00:12:21,202
Patty and Selma,
welcome to Moe's.
283
00:12:22,414 --> 00:12:25,156
Weird how the sunlight stops
at the doorway,
284
00:12:25,233 --> 00:12:26,975
like it's afraid to come in.
285
00:12:26,977 --> 00:12:29,753
Yeah, a scientist tried
to explain it one time
286
00:12:29,755 --> 00:12:31,212
and went crazy.
287
00:12:32,148 --> 00:12:33,498
Homer. Psst. Homer.
288
00:12:33,574 --> 00:12:36,167
Hey, I said "Psst."
289
00:12:36,244 --> 00:12:38,762
Who are these two goddesses?
290
00:12:38,838 --> 00:12:40,079
They're Marge's sisters.
291
00:12:40,156 --> 00:12:43,082
Midge has two hotter sisters?
292
00:12:43,159 --> 00:12:44,993
Patty and Selma.
293
00:12:44,995 --> 00:12:46,102
Pidge and Sidge?
294
00:12:46,179 --> 00:12:48,087
Well, yeah, they're twins.
295
00:12:48,164 --> 00:12:49,998
My God. Twins?
296
00:12:50,000 --> 00:12:51,757
I always dreamed of hooking up
with twins.
297
00:12:51,835 --> 00:12:55,594
Ever since I saw that old
commercial for the movie Twins.
298
00:12:55,672 --> 00:12:57,280
Patty's a lesbian,
so I don't think...
299
00:12:57,357 --> 00:13:00,099
And one of 'em has
zero interest in men?
300
00:13:00,118 --> 00:13:02,101
I think I'm in love over here.
301
00:13:02,103 --> 00:13:03,528
How could you keep this from me?
302
00:13:03,604 --> 00:13:04,746
How could you do it?
303
00:13:12,372 --> 00:13:15,873
All these years we treated
each other like garbage.
304
00:13:15,950 --> 00:13:17,616
But it was Marge's fault.
305
00:13:17,694 --> 00:13:21,137
I hope we can find it
in ourselves to forgive her.
306
00:13:21,214 --> 00:13:23,956
Seeing as we're such great
people, we probably will.
307
00:13:24,034 --> 00:13:27,268
To the three... amigos?
308
00:13:28,371 --> 00:13:32,798
Four. You're so fat,
you count twice.
309
00:13:32,876 --> 00:13:34,058
Zing!
310
00:13:34,135 --> 00:13:35,877
Twice.
311
00:13:35,879 --> 00:13:39,230
Said the spinster with
a toilet brush for a head.
312
00:13:39,307 --> 00:13:40,824
Zing!
313
00:13:42,068 --> 00:13:43,384
- Good one.
- Now that we're buddies,
314
00:13:43,386 --> 00:13:47,080
our horrible insults
are just delightful zings.
315
00:13:48,649 --> 00:13:50,725
Look, Homer, it's your head.
316
00:13:50,743 --> 00:13:52,727
It's even got your IQ.
317
00:13:52,729 --> 00:13:53,819
Zing!
318
00:13:55,899 --> 00:14:00,826
It's like I'm being crushed
by two sacks of wet mail.
319
00:14:00,828 --> 00:14:02,762
Zing!
320
00:14:05,016 --> 00:14:06,924
Did you have to audition
for this part
321
00:14:06,926 --> 00:14:08,926
or did your agent
just get a call?
322
00:14:08,928 --> 00:14:10,478
Zing.
323
00:14:11,748 --> 00:14:14,599
38 minutes. No hints.
324
00:14:14,675 --> 00:14:16,675
I stayed out of the way.
325
00:14:16,753 --> 00:14:18,010
Homer?
326
00:14:18,088 --> 00:14:19,437
Marge!
327
00:14:19,439 --> 00:14:23,257
Dad, are you hanging
out with Patty and Selma?
328
00:14:23,259 --> 00:14:25,517
No, the thing is...
329
00:14:25,519 --> 00:14:27,353
It seems like you guys
are friends.
330
00:14:27,430 --> 00:14:29,539
Wh-Why would I...
331
00:14:29,616 --> 00:14:33,525
If you guys are getting along
without me,
332
00:14:33,603 --> 00:14:35,786
the problem is me.
333
00:14:43,054 --> 00:14:44,795
Open. Open.
334
00:14:44,872 --> 00:14:45,889
Friends.
335
00:14:45,891 --> 00:14:47,206
Unlikely friends.
336
00:14:47,208 --> 00:14:49,058
Remember, no splashing.
337
00:14:49,135 --> 00:14:50,894
No.
338
00:14:51,045 --> 00:14:53,638
Mom, you should go down
and join them.
339
00:14:53,640 --> 00:14:55,123
No, I'd only cause trouble
340
00:14:55,141 --> 00:14:56,882
because I'm the problem.
341
00:14:57,810 --> 00:15:00,128
Of course you're not.
342
00:15:00,130 --> 00:15:01,887
No, I am. It's fine, though.
343
00:15:01,965 --> 00:15:04,223
Your father and my sisters
getting along was my dream
344
00:15:04,300 --> 00:15:05,967
and it happened
and now my life is perfect.
345
00:15:05,969 --> 00:15:07,468
Hooray for TV therapy.
346
00:15:07,487 --> 00:15:08,769
Hooray, hooray, hooray.
347
00:15:08,805 --> 00:15:10,729
So perfect that you're up here
watching them
348
00:15:10,807 --> 00:15:13,975
while you refold laundry
that's already been folded.
349
00:15:13,977 --> 00:15:16,661
Maybe I don't do things right
the first time.
350
00:15:16,737 --> 00:15:18,755
Or any time.
351
00:15:19,983 --> 00:15:22,258
Bart! Mom has candy!
352
00:15:22,335 --> 00:15:24,243
Candy, candy, candy,
candy, candy.
353
00:15:27,507 --> 00:15:30,508
I ruined everything.
354
00:15:30,584 --> 00:15:33,394
Candy?
355
00:15:41,688 --> 00:15:43,929
Krusty, you made it.
356
00:15:43,931 --> 00:15:46,115
Like I'm not gonna
drive three hours
357
00:15:46,117 --> 00:15:48,509
to be with my crew family.
358
00:15:48,511 --> 00:15:51,529
You got a little water prison
for the kids. Nice.
359
00:15:51,531 --> 00:15:52,847
It's a pool.
360
00:15:52,849 --> 00:15:55,850
No, pools go in the ground.
361
00:15:55,852 --> 00:15:57,201
You got to meet my neighbors.
362
00:15:57,203 --> 00:15:58,853
That's Phil. He's a cop.
363
00:15:58,855 --> 00:15:59,945
Joe, cop.
364
00:16:00,023 --> 00:16:01,856
Cop, cop, cop.
365
00:16:01,858 --> 00:16:04,375
I love law enforcement.
366
00:16:04,377 --> 00:16:05,969
And laws.
367
00:16:07,121 --> 00:16:09,046
Hey! Little help, K-dawg?
368
00:16:09,123 --> 00:16:10,715
I can do this.
369
00:16:10,791 --> 00:16:12,867
I bet on this sport.
370
00:16:21,878 --> 00:16:24,237
Walk it off, Jayden.
Walk it off.
371
00:16:27,325 --> 00:16:31,052
The dunes
are calling your name, bro!
372
00:16:35,058 --> 00:16:36,499
My stepson's stepson,
373
00:16:36,576 --> 00:16:38,668
he built this baby out
of boat parts!
374
00:16:38,745 --> 00:16:42,338
So, no brakes or safety features
to weigh you down.
375
00:16:42,415 --> 00:16:44,232
Smart.
376
00:16:44,234 --> 00:16:45,324
Is there a helmet?
377
00:16:45,401 --> 00:16:48,069
Statistically,
you're safer without one.
378
00:16:48,071 --> 00:16:49,828
Got to do your own research.
379
00:16:49,848 --> 00:16:51,922
Okay, I can do this.
380
00:16:51,924 --> 00:16:54,517
Just take it slow and steady.
381
00:16:58,765 --> 00:17:00,915
Hey, the CPR worked!
382
00:17:00,917 --> 00:17:03,675
And when your heart stopped,
which heaven did you see?
383
00:17:03,753 --> 00:17:07,196
Jet Ski paintball next weekend
at Concrete Lake, K-dawg!
384
00:17:07,273 --> 00:17:08,089
You in?
385
00:17:08,091 --> 00:17:10,366
Wouldn't miss it.
386
00:17:12,428 --> 00:17:13,778
It's The Problem Is You
387
00:17:13,854 --> 00:17:16,781
Season Finale Reunion Special!
388
00:17:19,769 --> 00:17:21,102
Welcome!
389
00:17:21,104 --> 00:17:24,696
On our first hit season,
we solved a lot of problems.
390
00:17:24,716 --> 00:17:26,031
And here they are now!
391
00:17:27,368 --> 00:17:29,627
So, how's everybody doing?
392
00:17:30,630 --> 00:17:32,963
Yes, well, when you find out
that you're the problem,
393
00:17:33,040 --> 00:17:34,206
even though
you could have sworn...
394
00:17:34,284 --> 00:17:36,542
and I mean with every fiber
of your being...
395
00:17:36,619 --> 00:17:39,211
that it was the other guy,
it's very, well,
396
00:17:39,289 --> 00:17:41,380
I don't know, freeing?
I don't know.
397
00:17:41,399 --> 00:17:43,399
I was so controlling
of Percival.
398
00:17:43,401 --> 00:17:46,402
But now I just let him
roam free.
399
00:17:46,479 --> 00:17:49,388
Aunt Sadie,
you changed all our lives.
400
00:17:49,390 --> 00:17:53,150
Once you helped Marge step back
from decades of sabotaging us,
401
00:17:53,152 --> 00:17:54,969
it's been so good for her.
402
00:17:54,971 --> 00:17:56,746
- Right, honey?
- That's right.
403
00:17:56,748 --> 00:17:58,155
I'm gonna be honest.
404
00:17:58,232 --> 00:17:59,749
There was a time when I thought
405
00:17:59,900 --> 00:18:02,067
maybe we were doing
something wrong.
406
00:18:02,145 --> 00:18:04,870
But we were
completely blameless.
407
00:18:04,981 --> 00:18:06,272
Not me. I'm to blame.
408
00:18:06,349 --> 00:18:07,757
The problem is Marge.
409
00:18:07,834 --> 00:18:11,076
All those things that used to
bother me about Marge's sisters,
410
00:18:11,154 --> 00:18:12,670
they just don't anymore.
411
00:18:12,672 --> 00:18:14,263
I can remember, for example,
412
00:18:14,265 --> 00:18:15,990
when I wouldn't be able to stand
413
00:18:15,992 --> 00:18:18,083
the way he's breathing
right now.
414
00:18:18,161 --> 00:18:20,511
W-Was I breathing loud?
415
00:18:20,588 --> 00:18:21,345
I'm sorry.
416
00:18:21,422 --> 00:18:22,663
Doesn't bother me either.
417
00:18:22,665 --> 00:18:25,850
Good, because the cigarette ash
in your eyebrows
418
00:18:25,926 --> 00:18:26,925
doesn't bother me.
419
00:18:27,003 --> 00:18:28,277
I'm not sitting here, thinking,
420
00:18:28,354 --> 00:18:30,613
"How could there be
so much of it?"
421
00:18:31,691 --> 00:18:33,190
Kumiko, tell me,
422
00:18:33,267 --> 00:18:36,026
is your husband still skipping
the episode "previously on"s
423
00:18:36,103 --> 00:18:37,769
even though you find them
helpful?
424
00:18:37,771 --> 00:18:40,514
You want to know something else
that doesn't bother me?
425
00:18:40,516 --> 00:18:43,701
That he only cuts his
fingernails on his left hand.
426
00:18:43,777 --> 00:18:47,296
I'm a righty, so I can't use
the clippers with my left!
427
00:18:47,298 --> 00:18:51,041
Again, it doesn't bother us.
428
00:18:52,695 --> 00:18:54,953
Marge, you want to step in here?
429
00:18:55,031 --> 00:18:56,472
You mean separate you?
430
00:18:56,549 --> 00:18:58,090
No. No, not me.
431
00:18:58,201 --> 00:19:00,601
I don't do that anymore.
432
00:19:06,133 --> 00:19:07,799
You disgust me!
433
00:19:07,877 --> 00:19:09,152
- Groom yourself!
- You first!
434
00:19:09,303 --> 00:19:12,213
You don't yell at
a reunion show, you sick morons!
435
00:19:12,215 --> 00:19:14,824
Look at these losers I cured.
436
00:19:14,901 --> 00:19:16,808
Cheapskate... fixed!
437
00:19:16,810 --> 00:19:18,903
Daddy issues... fixed!
438
00:19:18,979 --> 00:19:19,996
Impotent...
439
00:19:20,072 --> 00:19:21,722
came to terms with.
440
00:19:23,226 --> 00:19:24,650
You fixed nothing!
441
00:19:24,669 --> 00:19:28,153
You plaster over real problems
with an easy catchphrase.
442
00:19:28,231 --> 00:19:31,248
These three have hated each
other since the moment they met,
443
00:19:31,250 --> 00:19:32,917
and all you did
was give them a reason
444
00:19:32,993 --> 00:19:34,960
to not feel guilty about it.
445
00:19:35,071 --> 00:19:37,571
Don't talk to me about guilt.
446
00:19:37,573 --> 00:19:39,015
I invented guilt!
447
00:19:39,091 --> 00:19:41,667
No! It's my turn to yell!
448
00:19:41,744 --> 00:19:43,744
And point and point and point!
449
00:19:43,746 --> 00:19:46,338
You can't solve relationships
in 30 minutes.
450
00:19:46,416 --> 00:19:49,525
It requires years
of constant hard work
451
00:19:49,602 --> 00:19:53,029
and deep self-reflection
from all parties!
452
00:19:53,105 --> 00:19:56,424
I didn't sign up
for self-reflection.
453
00:19:56,426 --> 00:19:58,776
Now you want me
to work at my marriage?
454
00:19:58,852 --> 00:20:00,018
I'm leaving you.
455
00:20:00,096 --> 00:20:01,946
And I'm taking the pugs!
456
00:20:04,709 --> 00:20:06,267
I'm Marge Simpson,
457
00:20:06,285 --> 00:20:09,045
and the problem is not me.
458
00:20:09,196 --> 00:20:10,362
I see it now.
459
00:20:10,440 --> 00:20:12,122
The problem's not me either.
460
00:20:12,275 --> 00:20:15,051
I was wrong to try
to form human connections
461
00:20:15,202 --> 00:20:17,053
with the people
that work for me!
462
00:20:17,204 --> 00:20:19,463
Well, I don't think
that's the lesson.
463
00:20:19,465 --> 00:20:22,708
Why should I spend time
with anyone below the line?!
464
00:20:22,727 --> 00:20:24,876
The line is there for a reason.
465
00:20:24,896 --> 00:20:26,804
The line is an absolute good!
466
00:20:26,956 --> 00:20:29,214
The line is life!
467
00:20:29,292 --> 00:20:31,400
I always knew
that guy was a phony.
468
00:20:31,477 --> 00:20:34,904
Hey, let's go rub our butts
on his sushi.
469
00:20:35,055 --> 00:20:36,239
Don't you leave me!
470
00:20:36,315 --> 00:20:39,967
I've got an hour to fill
with you mental cases!
471
00:20:43,806 --> 00:20:47,083
You need my yelling!
472
00:20:50,404 --> 00:20:53,013
I'm so sorry
for your loss, Krusty.
473
00:20:53,015 --> 00:20:55,407
Who said you could talk to me?
474
00:20:55,485 --> 00:20:57,260
Here we go.
475
00:20:57,262 --> 00:20:58,744
That's Jimmy!
476
00:21:11,592 --> 00:21:14,351
If you're like me
and you love shellfish
477
00:21:14,428 --> 00:21:15,853
and you're not in a hurry,
did you know that 94% of clams
478
00:21:15,855 --> 00:21:19,189
are perfectly safe to eat
after three business days?
479
00:21:19,191 --> 00:21:21,450
So the next time it's Wednesday
480
00:21:21,527 --> 00:21:24,787
and you feel like having clams
on the following Monday,
481
00:21:24,789 --> 00:21:27,290
visit 3DayClams.com.
482
00:21:27,292 --> 00:21:29,274
Order a dozen littlenecks
483
00:21:29,352 --> 00:21:30,960
and get a shucker for free.
484
00:21:31,037 --> 00:21:33,020
Though with three-day-old clams,
485
00:21:33,022 --> 00:21:35,856
they practically open
themselves.
486
00:21:35,858 --> 00:21:38,192
One taste and you'll say, "Wow,
487
00:21:38,194 --> 00:21:41,378
these clams are fresh enough."
488
00:21:41,455 --> 00:21:44,623
Consult your physician
before ordering 3 Day Clams.
489
00:21:44,700 --> 00:21:47,034
See terms and restrictions
at 3DayClams.com.
490
00:21:47,036 --> 00:21:50,980
Delivery and/or food poisoning
concerns? Call 1-555-CLAM-HELP.
491
00:21:51,057 --> 00:21:53,057
- Shh!
- 3 Day Clams is notan endorsement
492
00:21:53,133 --> 00:21:55,067
of eating three-day-old clams.
493
00:21:55,147 --> 00:21:57,147
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