All language subtitles for The Nanny (1993) - S01E01 - Pilot (a.k.a. The Nanny) (1080p WEB-DL x265 Silence)

Oh, honey, are you gorgeous!

You look just like a virgin.

Here, I brought you some crackers
for your morning sickness.

So, when are you and
Danny gonna set a date already?

Oh, you know me.
Always a bridal consultant,
never a bride. Right, Danny?

What can I say?/Well, how 'bout,
"Here's a ring. Pick a pattern."

I'm serious. We've been
pre-engaged for three years already.

I'm sorry. I should have said this sooner.
I wanted to do it some place nice.

Oh, wow!

All right, here goes.

I've been thinking
we should start seeing other people.

What? Since when
you been thinking that?

Since I saw Heather Biblow.

I can't believe
you're telling me this.

What, were you stringing me along
'cause I'm your best salesgirl?

That's the other thing:

Heather needs a job.

You're firing me?

I can't believe
I just wasted three years

of an ever dwindling
youth on you and this dump.

You can't fire me,
Danny Imperiale,

I quit!...

No, you fired me... That way
I could collect unemployment.

Hello, I'm Fran Fine, your Shades
of the Orient Cosmetics representative.

Oy, what a loser!

Hello, I'm Fran Fine.
/Yes, come in. We've been expecting you.

Oh, you have?
/You are here for the nanny position?

I could be.

Wow! This place is nicer
than my Uncle Jack's condo in Boca.

And, you know, he bought the model.

May I present your resume
to Mister Sheffield?

Uh, resume? You know what,

why don't you go get this Mister Sheffield
and I'll do the resume presenting myself.

As you wish. This oughta be good.

We're never gonna find
an actress for this part.

Ann Miller part,
Gwen Verdon part,

Rube Keeler part.
Away I believe.

What's she doing on this list?
/Relax, darling.

You need a Chatzu...

Sorry to interrupt, sir.

I see you're working hard
as always, Miss Babcock.

The theater always
been a passion of mine.

Hmm... I can't wait to see
what you'll be mounting next.

Yes, Niles, what is it?

Sir, there is a new nanny
waiting to be interviewed.

What happened to the old one?
/Brighton staged another fake suicide.

Best one yet. Spread eagle
on the marble with a bit of
ketchup trickling from his ears.

We've got half the money people
in New York coming to our backer's party,

and I will not have
those children running loose.

Not that I don't love them
as if they were my very own.

Hm-hmm.
/I do.

Oh, oh...

Do you have a pen?

Forget it.

Brighton, you're
losing your touch.

I'm Maxwell Sheffield.

This is my son,
the late Brighton Sheffield.

Wait, I know you.

Esquire Magazine, New York's
ten most eligible widowers?

My condolences, by the way.

You read Esquire?

When they list the ten
most eligible widowers I do.

Hi, I'm Fran Fine.

Well, do come in.

Oh, boy, do you have
gorgeous chatchkas.

Uh, beg, beg your pardon?

Oh, you know, your bric-a-brac.
Dust collectors.

Oh, the Rodan.
Yes, well,

he was, he was well
known for his bronze chachkas.

May I see your resume, please?
/Oh yeah sure. Here.

Crayon?
/Lipstick.

Of course.
And what a lovely shade.

I hate her!

Now, Brighton,
let's not be hasty.

Yeah, I haven't even sung
"Climb Every Mountain" yet.

Miss Fine, you seem to have
listed the Queen Mother as a reference?

What? Let me see that.

Oh no, that's not
the Queen Mother.

That's my mother from Queens.

Hi, Daddy.
/Oh, hello, sweetheart.

Maggie.
/Hello, Father.

Oh boy, are you gorgeous.

And look at that hair.

You see, now you cannot get color
like that from out of a bottle. No way.

I'll, I'll be in
my room doing my homework.

Really lights up a room,
doesn't she?

You don't need personality
when you're an heiress.

So, sweetheart,
how was therapy today, hmm?

Any, any breakthroughs?

Doctor Vern and
I did some regression.

She took me back
to my childhood.

Must have been a quick trip.

Oh, you have no idea
how complicated I am.

Therapy, huh?

It was a lot easier
than talking to us directly.

All right, that's it,
Brighton. Go to your room.

All right. Come on, Gracie,

let's leave Father alone to hire
someone else to take care of
his problem children.

Oh, you're a bitter
little person, aren't you?

Oh, we're gonna get along fine.

I'm, I'm sorry you had to
see that. I'll show you out.

What did I do? One smart
ass remark from the kid,

and I don't get the job?
That's not fair.

As you can see,
I need help here.

More help than can be provided
by a door-to-door cosmetics girl.

Niles?

Oh, for god sakes,
I'll get it.

Sheffield Residence.

No, honey, it's Fran.

Give, give me... Give me that.

It's the nanny agency

Maxwell Sheffield here.

Thank you.

Oh, yeah, right.

No. No, Monday is
not acceptable.

Listen, I need
a nanny this weekend...

Do you have any experience
with children?

Are you kidding? I practically
raised my sister's two kids

when she was suing her chiropodist.

There has to be another agency.

Oh, please, I come from Flushing.

There is nothing
these kids can throw at me that
I haven't seen before,

except maybe their trust funds.

All right, you're hired.
But on a trial basis.

Oh, thank you,
Mister Sheffield.

Thank you so much.
You won't regret it.

Somehow, I'm rather sure I will.

Niles will show you
to your room.

Oh, the nanny gets to live here?
/Is that a problem?

Oh yeah, I'm sure I'm gonna miss
being twenty-nine and still
living at home with my parents.

But if it's best for the kids...

Twenty-nine.
/Don't start with me, Niles.

Good morning, everyone.

Oh, that Jacuzzi tub really knows
how to perk a girl up in the morning.

Do you people sleep like that?

No. In a rather
astounding coincident,

I sleep in a pair of pink fuzzy
slippers, just like yours.

A simple "we dress for breakfast"
would suffice.

You have to tell me these things,
Niles./I simply assumed.

Don't assume anything with me.
I'm from Flushing, for god sakes.

Oh, I just love a good buffet.

It's free, Miss Fine.
You're allowed to go back.

Oh...

Oh, where do I sit?

The previous nanny
sat in the kitchen.

Oh, how anti-social.

So, kids,
what shall we do today?

Shall we take a walk in the park
or maybe just kick back,
hang around the mansion?

We have to go somewhere.
Father has kicked us out again.

Now, Brighton, I didn't kick you out.

I merely asked that you not torment
the caterers while they're preparing
for this evening's soiree.

Oh, a soiree, huh?

Well, I got a sister
who's a caterer.

She does a pork au depurno,
that's French for pork and prune,

not only delicious,
but a natural digestive.

Thank you for sharing that, Miss Fine.

I could get you a deal.

No, that's all right.
C.C.'s made all the arrangements.

C.C.? What's a C.C.?

Father's lady friend.

Maggie dear,
she's a business associate.

Hm-hmm.

Well, I just hope
there's enough food.

You know, shikzas are notorious
for not ordering enough food.

Booze, yes, but food
they don't know from.

Shikza...
Is that a chatchka?

Yes, but they cost a lot more.

It's Miss Babcock for you, sir.
/Oh, thank you, Niles.

I'll take her
in the library.

Hmm... Miss Babcock loves
to be taken in the library.

I'll bet.

So, kids, we're having a party.
What are we gonna wear?

We're not invited.
/And neither are you.

Oh come on, your father's paying for it,
of course we're invited.

We'll eat, we'll drink,
you'll bring a date.

Maggie doesn't date.

Never?/Boys haven't noticed me yet.

Oh, they've noticed Maggie,
and that's why you don't date.

What is wrong with you, Brighton?

Middle child syndrome.
/ Thank you, Sybil!

Now knock it off!

Knock it off, all of you.
We're a family here.

Now we have a party tonight,
there's a lot we have to do.

We'll go shopping, get
our hair done, get a manicure.

You'll get a French tip.
It's a very clean look.

So I'll go get changed,
and then we'll go, we'll do.

I'll just take this.
I hate to waste.

Dad is gonna hate this.

C.C.'s going
to totally freak.

Sounds like a party to me.

So, well, what's
your favorite color?

I don't know.

Beige?

Oy.

So, Gracie,
how are you doing, honey?

I'm feeling empty and alone.

You want a tic-tac?/Okay.

All right.

So tell me about your new job already.
Who's the guy? Where's the house?

I brought pictures. Wait.

Here.
/Ahh...

That's my boss. Cute, huh?
A little repressed though.

But what a head of hair.
/And it's all his.

Oh, that's the butler, Niles.
/A butler?

Oh it's very classy.
/Val, it's like living at Ceasar's Palace.

And the kids. Yeah, well, you know,
they're gonna need the most work.

I mean, that one's
got no personality.

This one's got multiple
personality.

And Brighton... Brighton?
Where's Brighton?

Are these dummies
anatomically correct?

Why are you there? You're ten
years old; would you be normal?

All right.
Oh, cool, a cockroach!

Hey, you got any rats?

Wait till Danny gets back.
Where is he, anyway?

Getting his back waxed.

Oh good, so we got all day.

Okay, well, we gotta
make Maggie beautiful.

Yeah, like that's gonna happen.
/Shut-up, Brighton.

Hey, be nicer to your sister.
/Why? Because we're a family?

Yes, that's right. And someday,
your father's gonna be old and sick.

You're gonna want him to live with her.

It's so fancy.
Everyone'll look at me.

So? They'll think
you're a beautiful girl.

I, I don't know.
I'm not good at this like you are.

Honey, that's
what I'm here for.

What d' you think?
You turn fourteen and boom,

you've got the savoir-faire and
sophistication of a woman
of my years and experience?

Look, when I was fourteen...
Go try it on.

Who knew this job
would be so demanding?

Please, I'm exhausted.

Has anyone told you how
handsome you look this evening?

Maxwell, you're such a flirt.

It's going rather well,
don't you think?

Oh, it's perfect.
The food is exquisite.
The music divine.

And the guests
obscenely wealthy.

Doesn't Ivana look marvelous?

My surgeon, of course.

Miss Fine would like
a word with you, sir.

Oh, really?
Where is she?

I'm up here.

What's that?

That's the nanny.

Hey, hey, the lady in red.

The place is all crazy
for the lady in red.

Look at that dress.

Maxwell!

You look nice, too. I said that.

Handsome. You said handsome.

You like? I borrowed it from
my cousin, Miss Long Island
Nineteen-Eighty-nine.

A very good year.

Oh... I just wanted to tell
you the children are ready.

For what?/To come to the party.

Miss Fine, the children
are not invited to the party.

They're not?
Oh, is my face red?

Well, now it matches
the rest of you.

Oh, there's that rapier
wit we've come to count on.

Yes, well, now we've
all met each other,

why don't you go back upstairs and
inform the children they can't come.

Hi, Daddy.

Oh, Miss Fine, you play dirty.
Hello, sweetheart.

You like my party dress?
Lohemanns, seventy percent off.

She'll never shop retail again.

Hi, Dad. Surprised?
/No tricks, Brighton.

Best behavior.

All right.

Come on, Maggie.
Don't be shy, honey.

My God, I had no idea how much
she looked like her mother.

You like it?

Oh, you look so,

so grown-up.

So, Daddy,
can we come to the party?

Of course you can.

We'll discuss this later.

Friends, friends, can I have
your attention, please?

Before I tell you a little
about my latest production,

I'd like to introduce to you
the three greatest productions of my life

my dear children.

Oh, isn't that sweet?
Couldn't you just drop dead?

I don't know.
Could you?

Let me take a picture.

Miss Fine, I think you've
done enough. And if I...

Lovely family, Sheffield.

Smile, everyone.

Great!

You might want to...
keep a low profile.

You're a little out of
your element here.

Oh, don't worry about me.
I've been to my share of affairs.

My Uncle Jack threw a weekend
bar mitzvah with a Star Trek theme

that they're still talking about.

Goodnight, Ivana.

Don't worry, honey,
you'll find someone else, too.

Niles, more.

Well, do I count
four zeros on this check?

All right, I'll admit it.

Having the children here
this evening wasn't the complete
disaster it might have been.

Oh, Mister Sheffield, you gush.

All right, all right,
it went splendidly.

Here, let me put that,
thank you, with the others.

Well, congratulations,
Nanny Fine.

It seems you've pulled it off.

Well, what could possibly go wrong
when you put a father together
with his children?

****************

Maggie!/Daddy!

Mister Sheffield, I was just...
/You were just leaving.

Right.

Eddie, wait!
/Maggie!

Maggie, come back here!
/Eddie!

Maggie...

How could you embarrass
me like that?

Well, what's going on?

That, that boy was mauling
her on the balcony.

It was just a kiss.

He kissed you?...

Your first kiss;
that's so exciting.

Let me get the camera.

Miss Fine, it is not exciting.
It's appalling. She's just a child.

I am not.
/She's not, you know.

I think I'm starting
to feel better.

Dad, I'm fourteen years old.

You know, when I was fourteen...
Oh, maybe this isn't the right time.

Maggie, go to bed and,
and take that makeup off.

Oh...

You!/Me?

Yes, you. This wouldn't
have happened without you.

Yes, definitely feeling better.
/What the hell did I do?

What did you do? You took
an innocent school girl,

you dolled her up and turned
her into a.../A young woman.

She's just a little girl.

Get out of here. She's
a woman, I'm telling you.

And unless you're gonna dip her
in bronze and stick her on the shelf
with the rest of your collectibles,

she is going to grow up
and somebody's gotta help her.

Oh, you are way out of line.
She's not your child.

That's right, she's not. If she was,
she wouldn't be upstairs crying right now

on what should be a very
memorable and exciting evening.

Thank you for your candor
and concern.

You're welcome.

You're fired.

Fired?

After all that I've done for you,
this is the thanks that I get?

You can't fire me,
Maxwell Sheffield, I quit!...

No, you fired me. That way
I could collect unemployment.

I drove Miss Babcock home
and called Betty Ford.

They'll pick her up
in the morning.

Thank you, Niles.

I noticed you didn't get
a chance to eat, sir.
I thought you might be a bit peckish.

I over-reacted, didn't I?

Like Reagan in Grenada.

It's just that Maggie
looked so like her mother.

I've already lost Sarah, I...

I didn't want to lose
my little girl.

I quite understand, sir...

What is this?

I believe Miss Fine calls
it a light nosh.

It's delicious.
Miss Fine, eh?

Yes, sir.

Just what you needed.

Niles, you're not talking
about the sandwich, are you?

No, sir.

Not the sandwich.

Fran, you need a mallowmar?

Oh no, Ma. Food's not
the answer to everything.

Meanwhile, your father and I have
based our entire relationship around food.

Passion goes, sex goes.
Communication, we never had.

But food is forever.
/Okay.

Marty... You want another
mallowmar? Marty?

Ma, Daddy can't hear you.
He's watching the game.

Why can't I find a guy like him?
Deaf and on a pension.

You will.

I'll get it. I'll get it...

Oh god, Ma, it's Mister Sheffield.

I'm sorry to disturb you, Miss Fine.
I just wanted to drop off the rest of your things.

You could never disturb
anyone, darling.

I'm Fran's mother, Sylvia.

Maxwell Sheffield.

Come on in. I'll make
you some Ovaltine.

Oh, well, I'm sure I'd love some,
but I really can't stay.

There's a mob surrounding
the limousine.

Oh, I'll take care of that.
Wait a minute here.

Get away from that limo!
Nobody died! There's no vacancies!

Oh, it's, it's dog eat dog when
you got a two bedroom that's rent control.

Have a seat. Here, wait.

Put on some blush.

Ma, can we have a little privacy?

All right, I can take a hint.

Mister Sheffield, enchante.

You have plastic
on your furniture.

Yeah, they're preserving it for
the afterlife. How's Maggie?

Well, she isn't speaking to me,
but Brighton tells me she's fine.

Brighton?

Yes. He's been surprisingly
attentive to her.

Wouldn't tell me why.
Kept saying something about me
getting old and where I'd live.

Kids.

I'm sorry things didn't work out.

Oh, look, I mean, uh,

you and I, we come
from very different worlds.

I mean, if I were
you and I hired me,

I'd be thrilled.
Who's kidding who?

Yes, but you're not me.

As a matter of fact, you're not
like anyone else I've ever met.

Which is not altogether
a bad thing. Necessarily.

Perhaps if we tried to respect
each other's differences,

we could give it another go?

Are you asking me to come back?

So it seems.

So what you're really saying is
you feel terrible about
this whole damn thing,

and if you could,
you'd get down on your hands
and knees and apologize.

Miss Fine!
/Apology accepted.

Ma, pack my things!
He wants me back!

Smile.