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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:06,039 --> 00:00:23,355 [ LAUGHTER ] [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] >>> COME ON, COME ON! 2 00:00:23,357 --> 00:00:24,490 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] >>> COME ON, COME ON! HELLO, EVERYBODY. 3 00:00:24,492 --> 00:00:26,658 >>> COME ON, COME ON! HELLO, EVERYBODY. THANK YOU FOR THE PRESS TO JOIN 4 00:00:26,660 --> 00:00:28,360 HELLO, EVERYBODY. THANK YOU FOR THE PRESS TO JOIN US FOR DOCUMENTING THIS VERY 5 00:00:28,362 --> 00:00:29,395 THANK YOU FOR THE PRESS TO JOIN US FOR DOCUMENTING THIS VERY IMPORTANT PRESIDENTIAL 6 00:00:29,397 --> 00:00:30,295 US FOR DOCUMENTING THIS VERY IMPORTANT PRESIDENTIAL TRANSITION MEETING. 7 00:00:30,297 --> 00:00:31,663 IMPORTANT PRESIDENTIAL TRANSITION MEETING. I'M BEING SERIOUS RIGHT NOW. 8 00:00:31,665 --> 00:00:32,064 TRANSITION MEETING. I'M BEING SERIOUS RIGHT NOW. [ LAUGHTER ] 9 00:00:32,066 --> 00:00:34,633 I'M BEING SERIOUS RIGHT NOW. [ LAUGHTER ] EVEN THOUGH WE DISAGREE, I'M 10 00:00:34,635 --> 00:00:36,468 [ LAUGHTER ] EVEN THOUGH WE DISAGREE, I'M IGER TO SIT DOWN FOR RESPECTFUL 11 00:00:36,470 --> 00:00:36,902 EVEN THOUGH WE DISAGREE, I'M IGER TO SIT DOWN FOR RESPECTFUL CONVERSATION. 12 00:00:36,904 --> 00:00:38,270 IGER TO SIT DOWN FOR RESPECTFUL CONVERSATION. >> YEAH, GET A LOAD OF ME. 13 00:00:38,272 --> 00:00:39,438 CONVERSATION. >> YEAH, GET A LOAD OF ME. INSTEAD OF BEING RUDE AND CRAZY 14 00:00:39,440 --> 00:00:40,706 >> YEAH, GET A LOAD OF ME. INSTEAD OF BEING RUDE AND CRAZY LIKE USUAL, I'M DOING QUIET AND 15 00:00:40,708 --> 00:00:41,040 INSTEAD OF BEING RUDE AND CRAZY LIKE USUAL, I'M DOING QUIET AND SERENE. 16 00:00:41,042 --> 00:00:43,008 LIKE USUAL, I'M DOING QUIET AND SERENE. [ LAUGHTER ] 17 00:00:43,010 --> 00:00:46,845 SERENE. [ LAUGHTER ] WHICH IN MANY WAYS IS A LOT 18 00:00:46,847 --> 00:00:47,212 [ LAUGHTER ] WHICH IN MANY WAYS IS A LOT SCARIER. 19 00:00:47,214 --> 00:00:47,613 WHICH IN MANY WAYS IS A LOT SCARIER. [ LAUGHTER ] 20 00:00:47,615 --> 00:00:48,947 SCARIER. [ LAUGHTER ] >> I MEAN, I SIT HERE AND SMILE 21 00:00:48,949 --> 00:00:50,115 [ LAUGHTER ] >> I MEAN, I SIT HERE AND SMILE WHILE IGNORING THE GIANT FIRE 22 00:00:50,117 --> 00:00:50,582 >> I MEAN, I SIT HERE AND SMILE WHILE IGNORING THE GIANT FIRE RIGHT BEHIND ME. 23 00:00:50,584 --> 00:00:52,551 WHILE IGNORING THE GIANT FIRE RIGHT BEHIND ME. [ LAUGHTER ] 24 00:00:52,553 --> 00:00:53,719 RIGHT BEHIND ME. [ LAUGHTER ] JUST LIKE THAT MEME. 25 00:00:53,721 --> 00:00:55,587 [ LAUGHTER ] JUST LIKE THAT MEME. CAN WE PUT THAT UP SIDE BY SIDE? 26 00:00:55,589 --> 00:01:04,196 JUST LIKE THAT MEME. CAN WE PUT THAT UP SIDE BY SIDE? [ LAUGHTER ] 27 00:01:04,198 --> 00:01:05,230 CAN WE PUT THAT UP SIDE BY SIDE? [ LAUGHTER ] >> WE LOVE THIS, A FINE DOG. 28 00:01:05,232 --> 00:01:07,433 [ LAUGHTER ] >> WE LOVE THIS, A FINE DOG. >> ALL RIGHT. 29 00:01:07,435 --> 00:01:08,834 >> WE LOVE THIS, A FINE DOG. >> ALL RIGHT. WE'RE GOING TO ASK YOU REPORTERS 30 00:01:08,836 --> 00:01:10,502 >> ALL RIGHT. WE'RE GOING TO ASK YOU REPORTERS TO LEAVE SO WE CAN MEET ALONE, 31 00:01:10,504 --> 00:01:12,337 WE'RE GOING TO ASK YOU REPORTERS TO LEAVE SO WE CAN MEET ALONE, AND WE'RE GOING TO TALK DETAILS. 32 00:01:12,339 --> 00:01:13,238 TO LEAVE SO WE CAN MEET ALONE, AND WE'RE GOING TO TALK DETAILS. THAT'S RIGHT. 33 00:01:13,240 --> 00:01:15,774 AND WE'RE GOING TO TALK DETAILS. THAT'S RIGHT. WE'RE GOING TO HAVE JUST TWO 34 00:01:15,776 --> 00:01:16,642 THAT'S RIGHT. WE'RE GOING TO HAVE JUST TWO BOOMERS HERE TALKING ABOUT 35 00:01:16,644 --> 00:01:16,942 WE'RE GOING TO HAVE JUST TWO BOOMERS HERE TALKING ABOUT NUKES. 36 00:01:16,944 --> 00:01:17,776 BOOMERS HERE TALKING ABOUT NUKES. WE LOST SOME. 37 00:01:17,778 --> 00:01:18,477 NUKES. WE LOST SOME. WE DON'T KNOW WHERE THEY ARE. 38 00:01:18,479 --> 00:01:19,778 WE LOST SOME. WE DON'T KNOW WHERE THEY ARE. [ LAUGHTER ] 39 00:01:19,780 --> 00:01:22,748 WE DON'T KNOW WHERE THEY ARE. [ LAUGHTER ] ANYWAY, HAVE A GOOD DAY. 40 00:01:22,750 --> 00:01:24,083 [ LAUGHTER ] ANYWAY, HAVE A GOOD DAY. >> THANK YOU, EVERYONE. 41 00:01:24,085 --> 00:01:25,384 ANYWAY, HAVE A GOOD DAY. >> THANK YOU, EVERYONE. YOU CAN SCREAM YOUR QUESTIONS ON 42 00:01:25,386 --> 00:01:26,151 >> THANK YOU, EVERYONE. YOU CAN SCREAM YOUR QUESTIONS ON THE WAY OUT. 43 00:01:26,153 --> 00:01:28,187 YOU CAN SCREAM YOUR QUESTIONS ON THE WAY OUT. >> WHAT'S GOING TO HAPPEN? 44 00:01:28,189 --> 00:01:28,854 THE WAY OUT. >> WHAT'S GOING TO HAPPEN? >> SHOULD I MOVE TO CANADA? 45 00:01:28,856 --> 00:01:30,722 >> WHAT'S GOING TO HAPPEN? >> SHOULD I MOVE TO CANADA? [ LAUGHTER ] 46 00:01:30,724 --> 00:01:32,124 >> SHOULD I MOVE TO CANADA? [ LAUGHTER ] >> ALL RIGHT, NOW THAT WE'RE 47 00:01:32,126 --> 00:01:33,292 [ LAUGHTER ] >> ALL RIGHT, NOW THAT WE'RE ALONE, LET'S GET TO WORK. 48 00:01:33,294 --> 00:01:35,861 >> ALL RIGHT, NOW THAT WE'RE ALONE, LET'S GET TO WORK. WE'RE GOING TO GO OVER THAT LAST 49 00:01:35,863 --> 00:01:37,162 ALONE, LET'S GET TO WORK. WE'RE GOING TO GO OVER THAT LAST FEW MONTHS OF THE NATO 50 00:01:37,164 --> 00:01:38,197 WE'RE GOING TO GO OVER THAT LAST FEW MONTHS OF THE NATO BRIEFINGS. 51 00:01:38,199 --> 00:01:39,631 FEW MONTHS OF THE NATO BRIEFINGS. HOW DOES THAT SOUND? 52 00:01:39,633 --> 00:01:40,499 BRIEFINGS. HOW DOES THAT SOUND? >> UGH. 53 00:01:40,501 --> 00:01:42,968 HOW DOES THAT SOUND? >> UGH. I FORGOT HOW BORING PRESIDENT 54 00:01:42,970 --> 00:01:43,335 >> UGH. I FORGOT HOW BORING PRESIDENT IS. 55 00:01:43,337 --> 00:01:43,735 I FORGOT HOW BORING PRESIDENT IS. [ LAUGHTER ] 56 00:01:43,737 --> 00:01:48,740 IS. [ LAUGHTER ] LOVE RUNNING, HATE BEING. 57 00:01:48,742 --> 00:01:49,141 [ LAUGHTER ] LOVE RUNNING, HATE BEING. [ LAUGHTER ] 58 00:01:49,143 --> 00:01:49,741 LOVE RUNNING, HATE BEING. [ LAUGHTER ] I HATE THE WHITE HOUSE. 59 00:01:49,743 --> 00:01:51,176 [ LAUGHTER ] I HATE THE WHITE HOUSE. SO OLD, SO DATED, SO MANY OF THE 60 00:01:51,178 --> 00:01:53,045 I HATE THE WHITE HOUSE. SO OLD, SO DATED, SO MANY OF THE CARPETS ARE STINKY AND STICKY AT 61 00:01:53,047 --> 00:01:53,512 SO OLD, SO DATED, SO MANY OF THE CARPETS ARE STINKY AND STICKY AT THE SAME TIME. 62 00:01:53,514 --> 00:01:55,881 CARPETS ARE STINKY AND STICKY AT THE SAME TIME. SORT OF LIKE BEING AT A REGAL 63 00:01:55,883 --> 00:01:56,215 THE SAME TIME. SORT OF LIKE BEING AT A REGAL CINEMAS. 64 00:01:56,217 --> 00:01:56,615 SORT OF LIKE BEING AT A REGAL CINEMAS. [ LAUGHTER ] 65 00:01:56,617 --> 00:01:58,550 CINEMAS. [ LAUGHTER ] NOW I HAVE TO LIVE HERE FOR THE 66 00:01:58,552 --> 00:01:59,184 [ LAUGHTER ] NOW I HAVE TO LIVE HERE FOR THE NEXT FOUR YEARS, POSSIBLY 67 00:01:59,186 --> 00:02:02,354 NOW I HAVE TO LIVE HERE FOR THE NEXT FOUR YEARS, POSSIBLY LONGER. 68 00:02:02,356 --> 00:02:02,754 NEXT FOUR YEARS, POSSIBLY LONGER. [ LAUGHTER ] 69 00:02:02,756 --> 00:02:04,156 LONGER. [ LAUGHTER ] >> COME ON, LET'S BE REAL, MAN. 70 00:02:04,158 --> 00:02:05,357 [ LAUGHTER ] >> COME ON, LET'S BE REAL, MAN. THIS PLACE IS GREAT. 71 00:02:05,359 --> 00:02:06,758 >> COME ON, LET'S BE REAL, MAN. THIS PLACE IS GREAT. I HAVE SO MANY WONDERFUL 72 00:02:06,760 --> 00:02:08,460 THIS PLACE IS GREAT. I HAVE SO MANY WONDERFUL MEMORIES HERE. 73 00:02:08,462 --> 00:02:11,096 I HAVE SO MANY WONDERFUL MEMORIES HERE. DR. JILL, ALSO FOREIGN LEADERS, 74 00:02:11,098 --> 00:02:13,065 MEMORIES HERE. DR. JILL, ALSO FOREIGN LEADERS, MY DOG ATTACKING EVERY SINGLE 75 00:02:13,067 --> 00:02:13,565 DR. JILL, ALSO FOREIGN LEADERS, MY DOG ATTACKING EVERY SINGLE ONE. 76 00:02:13,567 --> 00:02:13,966 MY DOG ATTACKING EVERY SINGLE ONE. [ LAUGHTER ] 77 00:02:13,968 --> 00:02:15,267 ONE. [ LAUGHTER ] I BROUGHT MY PARTY TOGETHER, SO 78 00:02:15,269 --> 00:02:16,001 [ LAUGHTER ] I BROUGHT MY PARTY TOGETHER, SO MUCH THEY TEAMED UP AND KICKED 79 00:02:16,003 --> 00:02:16,335 I BROUGHT MY PARTY TOGETHER, SO MUCH THEY TEAMED UP AND KICKED ME OUT. 80 00:02:16,337 --> 00:02:17,102 MUCH THEY TEAMED UP AND KICKED ME OUT. [ LAUGHTER ] 81 00:02:17,104 --> 00:02:19,571 ME OUT. [ LAUGHTER ] WAIT A MINUTE. 82 00:02:19,573 --> 00:02:20,205 [ LAUGHTER ] WAIT A MINUTE. MAYBE I HATE IT HERE TOO. 83 00:02:20,207 --> 00:02:22,841 WAIT A MINUTE. MAYBE I HATE IT HERE TOO. NO JOKE. 84 00:02:22,843 --> 00:02:24,843 MAYBE I HATE IT HERE TOO. NO JOKE. >> I KNOW, IT'S AWFUL. 85 00:02:24,845 --> 00:02:26,778 NO JOKE. >> I KNOW, IT'S AWFUL. BUT I CAN'T GO BACK TO 86 00:02:26,780 --> 00:02:29,248 >> I KNOW, IT'S AWFUL. BUT I CAN'T GO BACK TO MAR-A-LAGO, JOE, BECAUSE ELON IS 87 00:02:29,250 --> 00:02:29,948 BUT I CAN'T GO BACK TO MAR-A-LAGO, JOE, BECAUSE ELON IS THERE, AND HE WILL NOT LEAVE. 88 00:02:29,950 --> 00:02:32,251 MAR-A-LAGO, JOE, BECAUSE ELON IS THERE, AND HE WILL NOT LEAVE. [ LAUGHTER ] 89 00:02:32,253 --> 00:02:33,652 THERE, AND HE WILL NOT LEAVE. [ LAUGHTER ] LIKE "WHAT ABOUT BOB?" 90 00:02:33,654 --> 00:02:35,420 [ LAUGHTER ] LIKE "WHAT ABOUT BOB?" WALKING AROUND IN HIS BATHING 91 00:02:35,422 --> 00:02:36,889 LIKE "WHAT ABOUT BOB?" WALKING AROUND IN HIS BATHING SUIT, SHOWING ME VIDEOS OF 92 00:02:36,891 --> 00:02:38,223 WALKING AROUND IN HIS BATHING SUIT, SHOWING ME VIDEOS OF ROCKETS AND MONKEYS WITH 93 00:02:38,225 --> 00:02:40,926 SUIT, SHOWING ME VIDEOS OF ROCKETS AND MONKEYS WITH COMPUTERS IN THEIR HEADS. 94 00:02:40,928 --> 00:02:43,061 ROCKETS AND MONKEYS WITH COMPUTERS IN THEIR HEADS. THE GUY'S CRINGE AF. 95 00:02:43,063 --> 00:02:43,462 COMPUTERS IN THEIR HEADS. THE GUY'S CRINGE AF. [ LAUGHTER ] 96 00:02:43,464 --> 00:02:45,130 THE GUY'S CRINGE AF. [ LAUGHTER ] >> DONALD, YOU'RE THE PRESIDENT 97 00:02:45,132 --> 00:02:45,397 [ LAUGHTER ] >> DONALD, YOU'RE THE PRESIDENT NOW. 98 00:02:45,399 --> 00:02:46,565 >> DONALD, YOU'RE THE PRESIDENT NOW. YOU CAN'T JUST SAY ANYTHING YOU 99 00:02:46,567 --> 00:02:47,366 NOW. YOU CAN'T JUST SAY ANYTHING YOU WANT TO SAY. 100 00:02:47,368 --> 00:02:50,002 YOU CAN'T JUST SAY ANYTHING YOU WANT TO SAY. YOU'VE GOT TO WATCH HOW YOU 101 00:02:50,004 --> 00:02:50,335 WANT TO SAY. YOU'VE GOT TO WATCH HOW YOU TALK. 102 00:02:50,337 --> 00:02:52,204 YOU'VE GOT TO WATCH HOW YOU TALK. YOU'VE GOT A LOT OF 103 00:02:52,206 --> 00:02:54,940 TALK. YOU'VE GOT A LOT OF SUPERPOWER -- POWER -- PUFF 104 00:02:54,942 --> 00:02:58,243 YOU'VE GOT A LOT OF SUPERPOWER -- POWER -- PUFF DADDY, RIDING ON A PONY, CALL IT 105 00:02:58,245 --> 00:02:58,610 SUPERPOWER -- POWER -- PUFF DADDY, RIDING ON A PONY, CALL IT MACARONI. 106 00:02:58,612 --> 00:02:59,011 DADDY, RIDING ON A PONY, CALL IT MACARONI. [ LAUGHTER ] 107 00:02:59,013 --> 00:03:01,280 MACARONI. [ LAUGHTER ] >> WOW, WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT? 108 00:03:01,282 --> 00:03:02,814 [ LAUGHTER ] >> WOW, WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT? DID YOU JUST DO THE WEAVE? 109 00:03:02,816 --> 00:03:03,448 >> WOW, WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT? DID YOU JUST DO THE WEAVE? >> NO. 110 00:03:03,450 --> 00:03:05,050 DID YOU JUST DO THE WEAVE? >> NO. OH, COME ON, MAN. 111 00:03:05,052 --> 00:03:06,285 >> NO. OH, COME ON, MAN. MY OWN VERSION OF THE WEAVE. 112 00:03:06,287 --> 00:03:09,388 OH, COME ON, MAN. MY OWN VERSION OF THE WEAVE. I CALL IT THE WANDER. 113 00:03:09,390 --> 00:03:11,390 MY OWN VERSION OF THE WEAVE. I CALL IT THE WANDER. I GO HERE OR I GO THERE OR I 114 00:03:11,392 --> 00:03:11,757 I CALL IT THE WANDER. I GO HERE OR I GO THERE OR I COME BACK. 115 00:03:11,759 --> 00:03:12,157 I GO HERE OR I GO THERE OR I COME BACK. GUESS WHAT? 116 00:03:12,159 --> 00:03:12,858 COME BACK. GUESS WHAT? NO. 117 00:03:12,860 --> 00:03:15,160 GUESS WHAT? NO. [ LAUGHTER ] 118 00:03:15,162 --> 00:03:16,428 NO. [ LAUGHTER ] >> ALL RIGHT, WELL THANKS FOR 119 00:03:16,430 --> 00:03:17,796 [ LAUGHTER ] >> ALL RIGHT, WELL THANKS FOR YOUR ADVICE, BUT I ALREADY KNOW 120 00:03:17,798 --> 00:03:19,031 >> ALL RIGHT, WELL THANKS FOR YOUR ADVICE, BUT I ALREADY KNOW HOW TO DO PRESIDENT. 121 00:03:19,033 --> 00:03:19,932 YOUR ADVICE, BUT I ALREADY KNOW HOW TO DO PRESIDENT. I'D ALL ABOUT SURROUNDING 122 00:03:19,934 --> 00:03:22,334 HOW TO DO PRESIDENT. I'D ALL ABOUT SURROUNDING YOURSELF WITH THE BEST TEAM, AND 123 00:03:22,336 --> 00:03:24,102 I'D ALL ABOUT SURROUNDING YOURSELF WITH THE BEST TEAM, AND I AM VERY FASTLY PICKING THE 124 00:03:24,104 --> 00:03:27,206 YOURSELF WITH THE BEST TEAM, AND I AM VERY FASTLY PICKING THE MOST EPIC CABINET OF ALL TIME. 125 00:03:27,208 --> 00:03:29,208 I AM VERY FASTLY PICKING THE MOST EPIC CABINET OF ALL TIME. THERE'S SOME OF THE MOST DYNAMIC 126 00:03:29,210 --> 00:03:31,043 MOST EPIC CABINET OF ALL TIME. THERE'S SOME OF THE MOST DYNAMIC FREE-THINKING, ANIMAL-KILLING, 127 00:03:31,045 --> 00:03:32,444 THERE'S SOME OF THE MOST DYNAMIC FREE-THINKING, ANIMAL-KILLING, SEXUALLY CRIMINAL, MEDICALLY 128 00:03:32,446 --> 00:03:34,179 FREE-THINKING, ANIMAL-KILLING, SEXUALLY CRIMINAL, MEDICALLY CRAZY PEOPLE IN THE COUNTRY. 129 00:03:34,181 --> 00:03:35,414 SEXUALLY CRIMINAL, MEDICALLY CRAZY PEOPLE IN THE COUNTRY. >> WHO ARE YOU THINKING ABOUT? 130 00:03:35,416 --> 00:03:37,649 CRAZY PEOPLE IN THE COUNTRY. >> WHO ARE YOU THINKING ABOUT? >> WELL, WE'VE GOT ELON AND MATT 131 00:03:37,651 --> 00:03:37,950 >> WHO ARE YOU THINKING ABOUT? >> WELL, WE'VE GOT ELON AND MATT GAETZ. 132 00:03:37,952 --> 00:03:38,717 >> WELL, WE'VE GOT ELON AND MATT GAETZ. THAT'S AN ALIEN VERSUS PREDATOR. 133 00:03:38,719 --> 00:03:40,619 GAETZ. THAT'S AN ALIEN VERSUS PREDATOR. [ LAUGHTER ] 134 00:03:40,621 --> 00:03:48,760 THAT'S AN ALIEN VERSUS PREDATOR. [ LAUGHTER ] [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 135 00:03:48,762 --> 00:03:50,395 [ LAUGHTER ] [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] KRISTI NOEM AND RFK JR. 136 00:03:50,397 --> 00:03:51,597 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] KRISTI NOEM AND RFK JR. THEY'RE KILLING THE DOGS, 137 00:03:51,599 --> 00:03:53,165 KRISTI NOEM AND RFK JR. THEY'RE KILLING THE DOGS, THEY'RE KILLING THE BEARS. 138 00:03:53,167 --> 00:03:54,399 THEY'RE KILLING THE DOGS, THEY'RE KILLING THE BEARS. [ LAUGHTER ] 139 00:03:54,401 --> 00:03:55,801 THEY'RE KILLING THE BEARS. [ LAUGHTER ] MELANIA WILL BE WORKING REMOTELY 140 00:03:55,803 --> 00:03:56,268 [ LAUGHTER ] MELANIA WILL BE WORKING REMOTELY FROM DIVORCE. 141 00:03:56,270 --> 00:03:57,869 MELANIA WILL BE WORKING REMOTELY FROM DIVORCE. >> I SEE WHAT YOU'RE DOING WITH 142 00:03:57,871 --> 00:03:58,770 FROM DIVORCE. >> I SEE WHAT YOU'RE DOING WITH THESE NOMINATIONS. 143 00:03:58,772 --> 00:04:03,141 >> I SEE WHAT YOU'RE DOING WITH THESE NOMINATIONS. YOU'RE PICKING A BUNCH OF BACKO. 144 00:04:03,143 --> 00:04:04,376 THESE NOMINATIONS. YOU'RE PICKING A BUNCH OF BACKO. JACKOSs TO TEST OUT YOUR 145 00:04:04,378 --> 00:04:04,743 YOU'RE PICKING A BUNCH OF BACKO. JACKOSs TO TEST OUT YOUR POLICIES. 146 00:04:04,745 --> 00:04:06,011 JACKOSs TO TEST OUT YOUR POLICIES. >> YEP, THAT'S WHAT I'M DOING. 147 00:04:06,013 --> 00:04:07,512 POLICIES. >> YEP, THAT'S WHAT I'M DOING. ALL PART OF A VERY SMART PLAN 148 00:04:07,514 --> 00:04:08,513 >> YEP, THAT'S WHAT I'M DOING. ALL PART OF A VERY SMART PLAN THAT I DEFINITELY THOUGHT OF 149 00:04:08,515 --> 00:04:09,848 ALL PART OF A VERY SMART PLAN THAT I DEFINITELY THOUGHT OF BEFORE YOU JUST SAID THAT. 150 00:04:09,850 --> 00:04:10,249 THAT I DEFINITELY THOUGHT OF BEFORE YOU JUST SAID THAT. [ LAUGHTER ] 151 00:04:10,251 --> 00:04:12,084 BEFORE YOU JUST SAID THAT. [ LAUGHTER ] >> MR. PRESIDENT, IT'S NOT ON 152 00:04:12,086 --> 00:04:13,252 [ LAUGHTER ] >> MR. PRESIDENT, IT'S NOT ON YOUR AGENDA BUT MATT GAETZ IS 153 00:04:13,254 --> 00:04:13,852 >> MR. PRESIDENT, IT'S NOT ON YOUR AGENDA BUT MATT GAETZ IS HERE TO SEE MR. TRUMP. 154 00:04:13,854 --> 00:04:17,189 YOUR AGENDA BUT MATT GAETZ IS HERE TO SEE MR. TRUMP. >> ALL RIGHT. 155 00:04:17,191 --> 00:04:21,693 HERE TO SEE MR. TRUMP. >> ALL RIGHT. [ LAUGHTER ] 156 00:04:21,695 --> 00:04:24,429 >> ALL RIGHT. [ LAUGHTER ] [ APPLAUSE ] 157 00:04:24,431 --> 00:04:25,130 [ LAUGHTER ] [ APPLAUSE ] >> HELLO, MR. TRUMP. 158 00:04:25,132 --> 00:04:27,499 [ APPLAUSE ] >> HELLO, MR. TRUMP. THANK YOU FOR HAVING ME. 159 00:04:27,501 --> 00:04:29,601 >> HELLO, MR. TRUMP. THANK YOU FOR HAVING ME. AND YEAH, THANK YOU FOR SEEING 160 00:04:29,603 --> 00:04:29,868 THANK YOU FOR HAVING ME. AND YEAH, THANK YOU FOR SEEING ME. 161 00:04:29,870 --> 00:04:32,471 AND YEAH, THANK YOU FOR SEEING ME. AND MIGHT I SAY, GIGGITY 162 00:04:32,473 --> 00:04:32,804 ME. AND MIGHT I SAY, GIGGITY GIGGITY. 163 00:04:32,806 --> 00:04:33,205 AND MIGHT I SAY, GIGGITY GIGGITY. [ LAUGHTER ] 164 00:04:33,207 --> 00:04:35,140 GIGGITY. [ LAUGHTER ] >> GIGGITY TO YOU AS WELL, MATT. 165 00:04:35,142 --> 00:04:36,675 [ LAUGHTER ] >> GIGGITY TO YOU AS WELL, MATT. >> I DON'T WANT TO BOTHER YOU, I 166 00:04:36,677 --> 00:04:38,877 >> GIGGITY TO YOU AS WELL, MATT. >> I DON'T WANT TO BOTHER YOU, I JUST WANTED TO THANK YOU FOR 167 00:04:38,879 --> 00:04:40,379 >> I DON'T WANT TO BOTHER YOU, I JUST WANTED TO THANK YOU FOR NOMINATING ME FOR ATTORNEY 168 00:04:40,381 --> 00:04:40,712 JUST WANTED TO THANK YOU FOR NOMINATING ME FOR ATTORNEY GENERAL. 169 00:04:40,714 --> 00:04:42,447 NOMINATING ME FOR ATTORNEY GENERAL. I'M GOING TO DO A GREAT JOB. 170 00:04:42,449 --> 00:04:44,283 GENERAL. I'M GOING TO DO A GREAT JOB. IF ANYONE TRIES TO BREAK THE 171 00:04:44,285 --> 00:04:45,717 I'M GOING TO DO A GREAT JOB. IF ANYONE TRIES TO BREAK THE LAW, I'LL TELL THEM WHAT I TOLD 172 00:04:45,719 --> 00:04:46,218 IF ANYONE TRIES TO BREAK THE LAW, I'LL TELL THEM WHAT I TOLD MY EYEBROWS. 173 00:04:46,220 --> 00:04:46,551 LAW, I'LL TELL THEM WHAT I TOLD MY EYEBROWS. FREEZE. 174 00:04:46,553 --> 00:04:49,454 MY EYEBROWS. FREEZE. [ LAUGHTER ] 175 00:04:49,456 --> 00:04:51,390 FREEZE. [ LAUGHTER ] >> COME ON, ARE YOU SERIOUS WITH 176 00:04:51,392 --> 00:04:52,057 [ LAUGHTER ] >> COME ON, ARE YOU SERIOUS WITH THIS GUY? 177 00:04:52,059 --> 00:04:53,725 >> COME ON, ARE YOU SERIOUS WITH THIS GUY? THIS GUY'S GIVING ME THE ICK. 178 00:04:53,727 --> 00:04:54,993 THIS GUY? THIS GUY'S GIVING ME THE ICK. >> I KNOW, ME TOO. 179 00:04:54,995 --> 00:04:56,762 THIS GUY'S GIVING ME THE ICK. >> I KNOW, ME TOO. BUT I THINK HE'S GOING TO BE 180 00:04:56,764 --> 00:04:57,129 >> I KNOW, ME TOO. BUT I THINK HE'S GOING TO BE TERRIFIC. 181 00:04:57,131 --> 00:04:58,230 BUT I THINK HE'S GOING TO BE TERRIFIC. >> OF COURSE, I HAD TO RESIGN 182 00:04:58,232 --> 00:04:59,031 TERRIFIC. >> OF COURSE, I HAD TO RESIGN FROM CONGRESS. 183 00:04:59,033 --> 00:05:00,599 >> OF COURSE, I HAD TO RESIGN FROM CONGRESS. BECAUSE THE CONFIRMATION PROCESS 184 00:05:00,601 --> 00:05:02,234 FROM CONGRESS. BECAUSE THE CONFIRMATION PROCESS COMES AT THE BUSIEST TIME OF 185 00:05:02,236 --> 00:05:02,668 BECAUSE THE CONFIRMATION PROCESS COMES AT THE BUSIEST TIME OF YEAR FOR ME. 186 00:05:02,670 --> 00:05:03,969 COMES AT THE BUSIEST TIME OF YEAR FOR ME. >> THE HOLIDAYS? 187 00:05:03,971 --> 00:05:07,939 YEAR FOR ME. >> THE HOLIDAYS? >> GIRLS VOLLEYBALL SEASON. 188 00:05:07,941 --> 00:05:09,441 >> THE HOLIDAYS? >> GIRLS VOLLEYBALL SEASON. [ LAUGHTER AND MOANS ] 189 00:05:09,443 --> 00:05:11,343 >> GIRLS VOLLEYBALL SEASON. [ LAUGHTER AND MOANS ] I'LL LEAVE YOU BE. 190 00:05:11,345 --> 00:05:12,311 [ LAUGHTER AND MOANS ] I'LL LEAVE YOU BE. YOU'VE GOT ANOTHER JACK KING 191 00:05:12,313 --> 00:05:13,111 I'LL LEAVE YOU BE. YOU'VE GOT ANOTHER JACK KING HERE TO SEE YOU, RFK JR. 192 00:05:13,113 --> 00:05:14,613 YOU'VE GOT ANOTHER JACK KING HERE TO SEE YOU, RFK JR. >> BOBBY! 193 00:05:14,615 --> 00:05:27,492 HERE TO SEE YOU, RFK JR. >> BOBBY! [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 194 00:05:27,494 --> 00:05:28,126 >> BOBBY! [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] >> HEY, I DON'T MEAN TO 195 00:05:28,128 --> 00:05:28,560 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] >> HEY, I DON'T MEAN TO INTERRUPT YOU. 196 00:05:28,562 --> 00:05:30,996 >> HEY, I DON'T MEAN TO INTERRUPT YOU. [ LAUGHTER ] 197 00:05:30,998 --> 00:05:32,864 INTERRUPT YOU. [ LAUGHTER ] I JUST WANTED TO TELL YOU AGAIN, 198 00:05:32,866 --> 00:05:36,501 [ LAUGHTER ] I JUST WANTED TO TELL YOU AGAIN, I'M SO HONORED TO BE THE HEAD OF 199 00:05:36,503 --> 00:05:42,040 I JUST WANTED TO TELL YOU AGAIN, I'M SO HONORED TO BE THE HEAD OF THE HEALTH AND HUMAN SERVICES. 200 00:05:42,042 --> 00:05:43,141 I'M SO HONORED TO BE THE HEAD OF THE HEALTH AND HUMAN SERVICES. AMERICANS NEED SOMEONE TO TEACH 201 00:05:43,143 --> 00:05:44,543 THE HEALTH AND HUMAN SERVICES. AMERICANS NEED SOMEONE TO TEACH THEM HOW TO BE HEALTHY. 202 00:05:44,545 --> 00:05:46,845 AMERICANS NEED SOMEONE TO TEACH THEM HOW TO BE HEALTHY. SOMEONE LIKE ME, A 70-YEAR-OLD 203 00:05:46,847 --> 00:05:47,612 THEM HOW TO BE HEALTHY. SOMEONE LIKE ME, A 70-YEAR-OLD MAN WITH MOVIE STAR LOOKS AND A 204 00:05:47,614 --> 00:05:48,113 SOMEONE LIKE ME, A 70-YEAR-OLD MAN WITH MOVIE STAR LOOKS AND A WORM IN HIS BRAIN. 205 00:05:48,115 --> 00:05:52,417 MAN WITH MOVIE STAR LOOKS AND A WORM IN HIS BRAIN. [ LAUGHTER ] 206 00:05:52,419 --> 00:05:54,186 WORM IN HIS BRAIN. [ LAUGHTER ] >> CAN'T WAIT TO SEE WHAT YOU DO 207 00:05:54,188 --> 00:05:55,687 [ LAUGHTER ] >> CAN'T WAIT TO SEE WHAT YOU DO WITH THIS COUNTRY IN TERMS OF 208 00:05:55,689 --> 00:05:59,891 >> CAN'T WAIT TO SEE WHAT YOU DO WITH THIS COUNTRY IN TERMS OF HEALTH AND WITH REGARD TO 209 00:05:59,893 --> 00:06:01,360 WITH THIS COUNTRY IN TERMS OF HEALTH AND WITH REGARD TO MEASLES OUTBREAK. 210 00:06:01,362 --> 00:06:02,094 HEALTH AND WITH REGARD TO MEASLES OUTBREAK. >> I CARE DEEPLY ABOUT A WOMAN'S 211 00:06:02,096 --> 00:06:02,594 MEASLES OUTBREAK. >> I CARE DEEPLY ABOUT A WOMAN'S RIGHT TO CHOOSE. 212 00:06:02,596 --> 00:06:04,930 >> I CARE DEEPLY ABOUT A WOMAN'S RIGHT TO CHOOSE. TO CHOOSE TO GIVE HER CHILD 213 00:06:04,932 --> 00:06:05,464 RIGHT TO CHOOSE. TO CHOOSE TO GIVE HER CHILD POLIO. 214 00:06:05,466 --> 00:06:05,864 TO CHOOSE TO GIVE HER CHILD POLIO. [ LAUGHTER ] 215 00:06:05,866 --> 00:06:08,133 POLIO. [ LAUGHTER ] I JUST WISH PEOPLE WOULD TAKE MY 216 00:06:08,135 --> 00:06:09,000 [ LAUGHTER ] I JUST WISH PEOPLE WOULD TAKE MY APPOINTMENT SERIOUSLY. 217 00:06:09,002 --> 00:06:10,335 I JUST WISH PEOPLE WOULD TAKE MY APPOINTMENT SERIOUSLY. I'VE GOT TO GO. 218 00:06:10,337 --> 00:06:11,036 APPOINTMENT SERIOUSLY. I'VE GOT TO GO. I'VE GOT A DEAD DOLPHIN IN MY 219 00:06:11,038 --> 00:06:19,277 I'VE GOT TO GO. I'VE GOT A DEAD DOLPHIN IN MY CAR. 220 00:06:19,279 --> 00:06:22,047 I'VE GOT A DEAD DOLPHIN IN MY CAR. I THINK I'LL DUMP ARE DUMP IT IN 221 00:06:22,049 --> 00:06:23,882 CAR. I THINK I'LL DUMP ARE DUMP IT IN CENTRAL PARK, WE'LL SEE HOW IT 222 00:06:23,884 --> 00:06:24,383 I THINK I'LL DUMP ARE DUMP IT IN CENTRAL PARK, WE'LL SEE HOW IT GOES. 223 00:06:24,385 --> 00:06:27,285 CENTRAL PARK, WE'LL SEE HOW IT GOES. THANKS FOR THE JOB. 224 00:06:27,287 --> 00:06:27,652 GOES. THANKS FOR THE JOB. >> BOBBY! 225 00:06:27,654 --> 00:06:28,253 THANKS FOR THE JOB. >> BOBBY! [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 226 00:06:28,255 --> 00:06:29,354 >> BOBBY! [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] >> COME ON, DONALD, LET'S GET 227 00:06:29,356 --> 00:06:30,322 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] >> COME ON, DONALD, LET'S GET SERIOUS FOR A SECOND. 228 00:06:30,324 --> 00:06:31,690 >> COME ON, DONALD, LET'S GET SERIOUS FOR A SECOND. I'VE GOT TO TELL YOU SOMETHING. 229 00:06:31,692 --> 00:06:33,859 SERIOUS FOR A SECOND. I'VE GOT TO TELL YOU SOMETHING. I KNOW THE CAMPAIGN WAS ALL 230 00:06:33,861 --> 00:06:34,926 I'VE GOT TO TELL YOU SOMETHING. I KNOW THE CAMPAIGN WAS ALL ABOUT RETRIBUTION. 231 00:06:34,928 --> 00:06:35,694 I KNOW THE CAMPAIGN WAS ALL ABOUT RETRIBUTION. THINK ABOUT THE OPPORTUNITY YOU 232 00:06:35,696 --> 00:06:37,129 ABOUT RETRIBUTION. THINK ABOUT THE OPPORTUNITY YOU HAVE TO RISE ABOVE AND REACH 233 00:06:37,131 --> 00:06:38,663 THINK ABOUT THE OPPORTUNITY YOU HAVE TO RISE ABOVE AND REACH ACROSS THE AISLE AND USE YOUR 234 00:06:38,665 --> 00:06:41,466 HAVE TO RISE ABOVE AND REACH ACROSS THE AISLE AND USE YOUR ENORMOUS FORCE OF PERSONALITY. 235 00:06:41,468 --> 00:06:42,868 ACROSS THE AISLE AND USE YOUR ENORMOUS FORCE OF PERSONALITY. TO BETTER THE LIVES OF ALL 236 00:06:42,870 --> 00:06:43,268 ENORMOUS FORCE OF PERSONALITY. TO BETTER THE LIVES OF ALL AMERICANS. 237 00:06:43,270 --> 00:06:45,137 TO BETTER THE LIVES OF ALL AMERICANS. >> I THINK WE'LL BE DOING 238 00:06:45,139 --> 00:06:46,271 AMERICANS. >> I THINK WE'LL BE DOING RETRIBUTION, BUT THAT'S VERY 239 00:06:46,273 --> 00:06:46,671 >> I THINK WE'LL BE DOING RETRIBUTION, BUT THAT'S VERY INTERESTING. 240 00:06:46,673 --> 00:06:47,072 RETRIBUTION, BUT THAT'S VERY INTERESTING. [ LAUGHTER ] 241 00:06:47,074 --> 00:06:49,141 INTERESTING. [ LAUGHTER ] >> YOU GOT TO REMEMBER THIS. 242 00:06:49,143 --> 00:06:49,975 [ LAUGHTER ] >> YOU GOT TO REMEMBER THIS. YOU GOT OFF EASY. 243 00:06:49,977 --> 00:06:50,976 >> YOU GOT TO REMEMBER THIS. YOU GOT OFF EASY. I THINK WE BOTH KNOW IF I WAS IN 244 00:06:50,978 --> 00:06:54,045 YOU GOT OFF EASY. I THINK WE BOTH KNOW IF I WAS IN THE RACE, I WOULD HAVE PETTY YOU 245 00:06:54,047 --> 00:06:54,479 I THINK WE BOTH KNOW IF I WAS IN THE RACE, I WOULD HAVE PETTY YOU LIKE A DRUM. 246 00:06:54,481 --> 00:06:55,180 THE RACE, I WOULD HAVE PETTY YOU LIKE A DRUM. >> JOE, THAT'S ONE OF THE 247 00:06:55,182 --> 00:06:57,015 LIKE A DRUM. >> JOE, THAT'S ONE OF THE CRAZIEST THINGS I'VE EVER ANYONE 248 00:06:57,017 --> 00:06:57,282 >> JOE, THAT'S ONE OF THE CRAZIEST THINGS I'VE EVER ANYONE SAY. 249 00:06:57,284 --> 00:06:59,217 CRAZIEST THINGS I'VE EVER ANYONE SAY. FOR THAT REASON, I'D LIKE TO 250 00:06:59,219 --> 00:07:01,086 SAY. FOR THAT REASON, I'D LIKE TO OFFER YOU A POSITION IN MY 251 00:07:01,088 --> 00:07:01,420 FOR THAT REASON, I'D LIKE TO OFFER YOU A POSITION IN MY CABINET. 252 00:07:01,422 --> 00:07:02,687 OFFER YOU A POSITION IN MY CABINET. [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE ] 253 00:07:02,689 --> 00:07:04,055 CABINET. [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE ] >> NO CAN DO, JACK. 254 00:07:04,057 --> 00:07:06,725 [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE ] >> NO CAN DO, JACK. NEED TO MAKE -- TAKE A LITTLE 255 00:07:06,727 --> 00:07:07,592 >> NO CAN DO, JACK. NEED TO MAKE -- TAKE A LITTLE TIME OFF FROM THIS PLACE. 256 00:07:07,594 --> 00:07:08,994 NEED TO MAKE -- TAKE A LITTLE TIME OFF FROM THIS PLACE. >> WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'LL DO 257 00:07:08,996 --> 00:07:09,494 TIME OFF FROM THIS PLACE. >> WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'LL DO NEXT, JOE? 258 00:07:09,496 --> 00:07:10,429 >> WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'LL DO NEXT, JOE? WILL YOU RETIRE? 259 00:07:10,431 --> 00:07:13,565 NEXT, JOE? WILL YOU RETIRE? >> I'LL DO WHAT EVERY WORN-DOWN 260 00:07:13,567 --> 00:07:15,634 WILL YOU RETIRE? >> I'LL DO WHAT EVERY WORN-DOWN OLD GUY DOES, I'M GOING TO FIGHT 261 00:07:15,636 --> 00:07:17,769 >> I'LL DO WHAT EVERY WORN-DOWN OLD GUY DOES, I'M GOING TO FIGHT JAKE PAUL. 262 00:07:17,771 --> 00:07:18,170 OLD GUY DOES, I'M GOING TO FIGHT JAKE PAUL. [ LAUGHTER ] 263 00:07:18,172 --> 00:07:18,904 JAKE PAUL. [ LAUGHTER ] >> AND LIVE FROM NEW YORK, IT'S 264 00:07:18,906 --> 00:07:22,441 [ LAUGHTER ] >> AND LIVE FROM NEW YORK, IT'S SATURDAY NIGHT! 265 00:07:22,443 --> 00:07:25,110 >> AND LIVE FROM NEW YORK, IT'S SATURDAY NIGHT! ¶¶ 266 00:07:25,112 --> 00:07:25,811 SATURDAY NIGHT! ¶¶ >> Announcer: IT'S "SATURDAY 267 00:07:25,813 --> 00:07:26,711 ¶¶ >> Announcer: IT'S "SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE." 268 00:07:26,713 --> 00:07:36,054 >> Announcer: IT'S "SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE." WITH -- 269 00:09:32,138 --> 00:09:37,275 MOST AND MUSICAL GUEST CHARLI XCX. LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, CHARLI 270 00:09:37,277 --> 00:09:43,548 XCX. LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, CHARLI XCX! 271 00:09:43,550 --> 00:09:59,764 LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, CHARLI XCX! [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 272 00:09:59,766 --> 00:10:04,336 XCX! [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 273 00:10:04,338 --> 00:10:05,437 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] >> THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK 274 00:10:05,439 --> 00:10:06,671 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] >> THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU VERY MUCH. 275 00:10:06,673 --> 00:10:07,439 >> THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU VERY MUCH. MY NAME IS CHARLI XCX. 276 00:10:07,441 --> 00:10:13,578 YOU VERY MUCH. MY NAME IS CHARLI XCX. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 277 00:10:13,580 --> 00:10:15,280 MY NAME IS CHARLI XCX. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] IF YOU RECOGNIZE ME, YOU MIGHT 278 00:10:15,282 --> 00:10:17,282 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] IF YOU RECOGNIZE ME, YOU MIGHT KNOW ME FROM MY ALBUM "BRAT." 279 00:10:17,284 --> 00:10:19,417 IF YOU RECOGNIZE ME, YOU MIGHT KNOW ME FROM MY ALBUM "BRAT." BUT DON'T WORRY IF YOU DON'T, 280 00:10:19,419 --> 00:10:20,085 KNOW ME FROM MY ALBUM "BRAT." BUT DON'T WORRY IF YOU DON'T, THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH 281 00:10:20,087 --> 00:10:20,552 BUT DON'T WORRY IF YOU DON'T, THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH BEING STRAIGHT. 282 00:10:20,554 --> 00:10:22,287 THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH BEING STRAIGHT. [ LAUGHTER ] 283 00:10:22,289 --> 00:10:22,587 BEING STRAIGHT. [ LAUGHTER ] OKAY. 284 00:10:22,589 --> 00:10:24,389 [ LAUGHTER ] OKAY. SO A LITTLE ABOUT ME. 285 00:10:24,391 --> 00:10:25,957 OKAY. SO A LITTLE ABOUT ME. I ACTUALLY STARTED PERFORMING 286 00:10:25,959 --> 00:10:27,225 SO A LITTLE ABOUT ME. I ACTUALLY STARTED PERFORMING WHEN I WAS REALLY YOUNG, AND I 287 00:10:27,227 --> 00:10:28,393 I ACTUALLY STARTED PERFORMING WHEN I WAS REALLY YOUNG, AND I PLAYED AT MY FIRST RAVE WHEN I 288 00:10:28,395 --> 00:10:30,028 WHEN I WAS REALLY YOUNG, AND I PLAYED AT MY FIRST RAVE WHEN I WAS 15 YEARS OLD. 289 00:10:30,030 --> 00:10:32,564 PLAYED AT MY FIRST RAVE WHEN I WAS 15 YEARS OLD. MY PARENTS ACTUALLY DROVE ME 290 00:10:32,566 --> 00:10:32,864 WAS 15 YEARS OLD. MY PARENTS ACTUALLY DROVE ME THERE. 291 00:10:32,866 --> 00:10:34,532 MY PARENTS ACTUALLY DROVE ME THERE. AND IF YOU'RE WONDERING, HOW DID 292 00:10:34,534 --> 00:10:35,967 THERE. AND IF YOU'RE WONDERING, HOW DID I GET MY PARENTS TO DRIVE ME TO 293 00:10:35,969 --> 00:10:36,768 AND IF YOU'RE WONDERING, HOW DID I GET MY PARENTS TO DRIVE ME TO A RAVE? 294 00:10:36,770 --> 00:10:39,437 I GET MY PARENTS TO DRIVE ME TO A RAVE? WELL, I JUST TOLD THEM, "GUYS, 295 00:10:39,439 --> 00:10:41,406 A RAVE? WELL, I JUST TOLD THEM, "GUYS, I'VE GOT SWIM PRACTICE." 296 00:10:41,408 --> 00:10:42,040 WELL, I JUST TOLD THEM, "GUYS, I'VE GOT SWIM PRACTICE." [ LAUGHTER ] 297 00:10:42,042 --> 00:10:43,842 I'VE GOT SWIM PRACTICE." [ LAUGHTER ] "AT 2:00 A.M." 298 00:10:43,844 --> 00:10:44,242 [ LAUGHTER ] "AT 2:00 A.M." [ LAUGHTER ] 299 00:10:44,244 --> 00:10:45,777 "AT 2:00 A.M." [ LAUGHTER ] "IN A WAREHOUSE FULL OF GAYS." 300 00:10:45,779 --> 00:10:48,380 [ LAUGHTER ] "IN A WAREHOUSE FULL OF GAYS." [ LAUGHTER ] 301 00:10:48,382 --> 00:10:50,348 "IN A WAREHOUSE FULL OF GAYS." [ LAUGHTER ] NO, SERIOUSLY, I'VE COME A LONG 302 00:10:50,350 --> 00:10:50,615 [ LAUGHTER ] NO, SERIOUSLY, I'VE COME A LONG WAY. 303 00:10:50,617 --> 00:10:51,483 NO, SERIOUSLY, I'VE COME A LONG WAY. AND TODAY I CONSIDER MYSELF TO 304 00:10:51,485 --> 00:10:54,953 WAY. AND TODAY I CONSIDER MYSELF TO BE A TRIPLE THREAT. 305 00:10:54,955 --> 00:10:56,321 AND TODAY I CONSIDER MYSELF TO BE A TRIPLE THREAT. [ CHEERS ] 306 00:10:56,323 --> 00:10:57,656 BE A TRIPLE THREAT. [ CHEERS ] WHICH IN ENGLAND MEANS I SING, I 307 00:10:57,658 --> 00:10:58,189 [ CHEERS ] WHICH IN ENGLAND MEANS I SING, I DRINK, AND I SMOKE. 308 00:10:58,191 --> 00:11:00,325 WHICH IN ENGLAND MEANS I SING, I DRINK, AND I SMOKE. [ LAUGHTER ] 309 00:11:00,327 --> 00:11:02,160 DRINK, AND I SMOKE. [ LAUGHTER ] SPEAKING OF SINGING, I WANT TO 310 00:11:02,162 --> 00:11:03,762 [ LAUGHTER ] SPEAKING OF SINGING, I WANT TO TAKE A MOMENT TO THANK SOMEONE 311 00:11:03,764 --> 00:11:06,364 SPEAKING OF SINGING, I WANT TO TAKE A MOMENT TO THANK SOMEONE WHO'S BEEN THERE FOR ME MY 312 00:11:06,366 --> 00:11:09,267 TAKE A MOMENT TO THANK SOMEONE WHO'S BEEN THERE FOR ME MY ENTIRE CAREER, AUTO TUNE. 313 00:11:09,269 --> 00:11:10,502 WHO'S BEEN THERE FOR ME MY ENTIRE CAREER, AUTO TUNE. [ CHEERS ] 314 00:11:10,504 --> 00:11:12,771 ENTIRE CAREER, AUTO TUNE. [ CHEERS ] AUTO TUNE MAKES EVERYTHING SOUND 315 00:11:12,773 --> 00:11:13,304 [ CHEERS ] AUTO TUNE MAKES EVERYTHING SOUND BETTER. 316 00:11:13,306 --> 00:11:14,039 AUTO TUNE MAKES EVERYTHING SOUND BETTER. EVEN REALLY BAD NEWS LIKE THIS. 317 00:11:14,041 --> 00:11:18,777 BETTER. EVEN REALLY BAD NEWS LIKE THIS. WATCH. 318 00:11:18,779 --> 00:11:19,544 EVEN REALLY BAD NEWS LIKE THIS. WATCH. ¶ I'M BREAKING UP WITH YOU ¶ 319 00:11:19,546 --> 00:11:20,311 WATCH. ¶ I'M BREAKING UP WITH YOU ¶ ¶ 'CAUSE I'M TRYING TO HOOK UP 320 00:11:20,313 --> 00:11:24,716 ¶ I'M BREAKING UP WITH YOU ¶ ¶ 'CAUSE I'M TRYING TO HOOK UP WITH YOUR DAD ¶ 321 00:11:24,718 --> 00:11:25,984 ¶ 'CAUSE I'M TRYING TO HOOK UP WITH YOUR DAD ¶ [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE ] 322 00:11:25,986 --> 00:11:28,920 WITH YOUR DAD ¶ [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE ] >> SEE? 323 00:11:28,922 --> 00:11:31,289 [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE ] >> SEE? I HAVE TO SAY, BRAT SUMMER HAS 324 00:11:31,291 --> 00:11:32,357 >> SEE? I HAVE TO SAY, BRAT SUMMER HAS BEEN A CRAZY EXPERIENCE. 325 00:11:32,359 --> 00:11:33,158 I HAVE TO SAY, BRAT SUMMER HAS BEEN A CRAZY EXPERIENCE. SO MANY PEOPLE HAVE ASKED ME, 326 00:11:33,160 --> 00:11:34,359 BEEN A CRAZY EXPERIENCE. SO MANY PEOPLE HAVE ASKED ME, WHAT IS BRAT? 327 00:11:34,361 --> 00:11:35,760 SO MANY PEOPLE HAVE ASKED ME, WHAT IS BRAT? HONESTLY, IT'S JUST LIKE AN 328 00:11:35,762 --> 00:11:36,127 WHAT IS BRAT? HONESTLY, IT'S JUST LIKE AN ATTITUDE. 329 00:11:36,129 --> 00:11:37,829 HONESTLY, IT'S JUST LIKE AN ATTITUDE. IT'S A VIBE. 330 00:11:37,831 --> 00:11:39,230 ATTITUDE. IT'S A VIBE. FOR EXAMPLE, THE NEW MARTHA 331 00:11:39,232 --> 00:11:41,366 IT'S A VIBE. FOR EXAMPLE, THE NEW MARTHA STEWART DOCUMENTARY. 332 00:11:41,368 --> 00:11:43,468 FOR EXAMPLE, THE NEW MARTHA STEWART DOCUMENTARY. WHEN MARTHA GETS MAD ABOUT AN 333 00:11:43,470 --> 00:11:45,136 STEWART DOCUMENTARY. WHEN MARTHA GETS MAD ABOUT AN OLD MAGAZINE ARTICLE AND SHE 334 00:11:45,138 --> 00:11:50,041 WHEN MARTHA GETS MAD ABOUT AN OLD MAGAZINE ARTICLE AND SHE SAYS THAT SHE'S GLAD THE ONE WHO 335 00:11:50,043 --> 00:11:51,609 OLD MAGAZINE ARTICLE AND SHE SAYS THAT SHE'S GLAD THE ONE WHO WROTE IT IS DEAD, THAT IS BRAT. 336 00:11:51,611 --> 00:11:53,578 SAYS THAT SHE'S GLAD THE ONE WHO WROTE IT IS DEAD, THAT IS BRAT. LAST FRIDAY WHEN THAT EXACT 337 00:11:53,580 --> 00:11:54,646 WROTE IT IS DEAD, THAT IS BRAT. LAST FRIDAY WHEN THAT EXACT JOURNALIST RESPONDED AND SAID, 338 00:11:54,648 --> 00:11:56,748 LAST FRIDAY WHEN THAT EXACT JOURNALIST RESPONDED AND SAID, HEY, I'M ALIVE, BITCH! 339 00:11:56,750 --> 00:11:57,348 JOURNALIST RESPONDED AND SAID, HEY, I'M ALIVE, BITCH! THAT IS EXTREMELY BRAT. 340 00:11:57,350 --> 00:11:58,683 HEY, I'M ALIVE, BITCH! THAT IS EXTREMELY BRAT. [ LAUGHTER ] 341 00:11:58,685 --> 00:12:00,685 THAT IS EXTREMELY BRAT. [ LAUGHTER ] HONESTLY, THOUGH -- ANYONE CAN 342 00:12:00,687 --> 00:12:02,353 [ LAUGHTER ] HONESTLY, THOUGH -- ANYONE CAN BE BRAT. 343 00:12:02,355 --> 00:12:02,721 HONESTLY, THOUGH -- ANYONE CAN BE BRAT. >> REALLY? 344 00:12:02,723 --> 00:12:08,860 BE BRAT. >> REALLY? [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 345 00:12:08,862 --> 00:12:10,395 >> REALLY? [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] >> OH, KYLE MOONEY. 346 00:12:10,397 --> 00:12:16,201 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] >> OH, KYLE MOONEY. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 347 00:12:16,203 --> 00:12:18,002 >> OH, KYLE MOONEY. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] KYLE, WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE KIND 348 00:12:18,004 --> 00:12:18,503 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] KYLE, WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE KIND OF CLUB? 349 00:12:18,505 --> 00:12:19,237 KYLE, WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE KIND OF CLUB? >> PROBABLY TURKEY. 350 00:12:19,239 --> 00:12:19,804 OF CLUB? >> PROBABLY TURKEY. >> OKAY. 351 00:12:19,806 --> 00:12:21,039 >> PROBABLY TURKEY. >> OKAY. WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE KIND OF 352 00:12:21,041 --> 00:12:21,372 >> OKAY. WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE KIND OF DRUG? 353 00:12:21,374 --> 00:12:23,274 WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE KIND OF DRUG? >> I TAKE CLARITIN. 354 00:12:23,276 --> 00:12:23,675 DRUG? >> I TAKE CLARITIN. [ LAUGHTER ] 355 00:12:23,677 --> 00:12:26,377 >> I TAKE CLARITIN. [ LAUGHTER ] >> OVER THE COUNTER, HARDCORE. 356 00:12:26,379 --> 00:12:28,847 [ LAUGHTER ] >> OVER THE COUNTER, HARDCORE. AND IF SOMEONE SPILLED A DRINK 357 00:12:28,849 --> 00:12:29,581 >> OVER THE COUNTER, HARDCORE. AND IF SOMEONE SPILLED A DRINK WHEN YOU WERE AT THE CLUB, WOULD 358 00:12:29,583 --> 00:12:33,151 AND IF SOMEONE SPILLED A DRINK WHEN YOU WERE AT THE CLUB, WOULD WHY YOU SAY? 359 00:12:33,153 --> 00:12:34,385 WHEN YOU WERE AT THE CLUB, WOULD WHY YOU SAY? >> "NO WORRIES, CARRY ON, 360 00:12:34,387 --> 00:12:39,124 WHY YOU SAY? >> "NO WORRIES, CARRY ON, MILADY." 361 00:12:39,126 --> 00:12:42,160 >> "NO WORRIES, CARRY ON, MILADY." >> SO WHAT DO YOU SAY, AM I 362 00:12:42,162 --> 00:12:42,460 MILADY." >> SO WHAT DO YOU SAY, AM I BRAT? 363 00:12:42,462 --> 00:12:42,794 >> SO WHAT DO YOU SAY, AM I BRAT? >> NO. 364 00:12:42,796 --> 00:12:43,194 BRAT? >> NO. >> ALL GOOD. 365 00:12:43,196 --> 00:12:45,096 >> NO. >> ALL GOOD. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 366 00:12:45,098 --> 00:12:46,831 >> ALL GOOD. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] >> KEEPING IT REAL IS VERY BRAT. 367 00:12:46,833 --> 00:12:48,566 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] >> KEEPING IT REAL IS VERY BRAT. BRAT IS ALL ABOUT BEING 368 00:12:48,568 --> 00:12:48,967 >> KEEPING IT REAL IS VERY BRAT. BRAT IS ALL ABOUT BEING VULNERABLE. 369 00:12:48,969 --> 00:12:51,136 BRAT IS ALL ABOUT BEING VULNERABLE. SO TRULY, THIS IS A DREAM COME 370 00:12:51,138 --> 00:12:51,436 VULNERABLE. SO TRULY, THIS IS A DREAM COME TRUE. 371 00:12:51,438 --> 00:12:53,605 SO TRULY, THIS IS A DREAM COME TRUE. I AM SO EXCITED TO BE HERE. 372 00:12:53,607 --> 00:12:55,507 TRUE. I AM SO EXCITED TO BE HERE. AND I'M NOT USED TO BEING OUT 373 00:12:55,509 --> 00:12:56,241 I AM SO EXCITED TO BE HERE. AND I'M NOT USED TO BEING OUT THIS EARLY ON A SATURDAY NIGHT. 374 00:12:56,243 --> 00:12:58,009 AND I'M NOT USED TO BEING OUT THIS EARLY ON A SATURDAY NIGHT. [ LAUGHTER ] 375 00:12:58,011 --> 00:13:00,111 THIS EARLY ON A SATURDAY NIGHT. [ LAUGHTER ] BUT FOR YOU GUYS, IT'S WORTH IT. 376 00:13:00,113 --> 00:13:02,647 [ LAUGHTER ] BUT FOR YOU GUYS, IT'S WORTH IT. BECAUSE WE'VE GOT A GREAT SEW 377 00:13:02,649 --> 00:13:03,214 BUT FOR YOU GUYS, IT'S WORTH IT. BECAUSE WE'VE GOT A GREAT SEW 378 00:13:03,216 --> 00:13:03,781 BECAUSE WE'VE GOT A GREAT SEW SHOW FOR YOU TONIGHT! 379 00:13:03,783 --> 00:13:18,830 SHOW FOR YOU TONIGHT! [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 380 00:13:18,832 --> 00:13:21,399 SHOW FOR YOU TONIGHT! [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] >>> OKAY, AND THE FINAL ANSWER 381 00:13:21,401 --> 00:13:25,170 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] >>> OKAY, AND THE FINAL ANSWER IN "GUESS THAT BABY FOOD" IS -- 382 00:13:25,172 --> 00:13:30,375 >>> OKAY, AND THE FINAL ANSWER IN "GUESS THAT BABY FOOD" IS -- GERBER PUREED BEEF AND HAM! 383 00:13:30,377 --> 00:13:32,577 IN "GUESS THAT BABY FOOD" IS -- GERBER PUREED BEEF AND HAM! >> OKAY, ME ACTUALLY LIKING IT. 384 00:13:32,579 --> 00:13:32,977 GERBER PUREED BEEF AND HAM! >> OKAY, ME ACTUALLY LIKING IT. [ LAUGHTER ] 385 00:13:32,979 --> 00:13:34,646 >> OKAY, ME ACTUALLY LIKING IT. [ LAUGHTER ] >> OH, THAT WAS SO FUN. 386 00:13:34,648 --> 00:13:38,149 [ LAUGHTER ] >> OH, THAT WAS SO FUN. OKAY, SWITCHING GEARS. 387 00:13:38,151 --> 00:13:39,817 >> OH, THAT WAS SO FUN. OKAY, SWITCHING GEARS. LET'S GIVE A ROUND OF APPLAUSE 388 00:13:39,819 --> 00:13:41,619 OKAY, SWITCHING GEARS. LET'S GIVE A ROUND OF APPLAUSE TO THE MILF OF THE HOUR, MY 389 00:13:41,621 --> 00:13:42,754 LET'S GIVE A ROUND OF APPLAUSE TO THE MILF OF THE HOUR, MY COUSIN KELSEY! 390 00:13:42,756 --> 00:13:46,724 TO THE MILF OF THE HOUR, MY COUSIN KELSEY! [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 391 00:13:46,726 --> 00:13:48,560 COUSIN KELSEY! [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] >> AWW! 392 00:13:48,562 --> 00:13:48,927 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] >> AWW! LOVE YOU! 393 00:13:48,929 --> 00:13:50,962 >> AWW! LOVE YOU! YOU KILLED REHAB! 394 00:13:50,964 --> 00:13:52,430 LOVE YOU! YOU KILLED REHAB! WELCOME BACK. 395 00:13:52,432 --> 00:13:54,432 YOU KILLED REHAB! WELCOME BACK. >> LET'S NOT FORGET ABOUT THE 396 00:13:54,434 --> 00:13:55,466 WELCOME BACK. >> LET'S NOT FORGET ABOUT THE PAPA TO BE. 397 00:13:55,468 --> 00:13:55,800 >> LET'S NOT FORGET ABOUT THE PAPA TO BE. KIDDING. 398 00:13:55,802 --> 00:13:57,202 PAPA TO BE. KIDDING. JUST FOUR WEEKS TILL WE MEET OUR 399 00:13:57,204 --> 00:13:57,635 KIDDING. JUST FOUR WEEKS TILL WE MEET OUR LITTLE ONE. 400 00:13:57,637 --> 00:14:00,471 JUST FOUR WEEKS TILL WE MEET OUR LITTLE ONE. >> I WOULD NOW LIKE TO INVITE UP 401 00:14:00,473 --> 00:14:05,109 LITTLE ONE. >> I WOULD NOW LIKE TO INVITE UP KELSEY'S BESTIES, AKA KEL-SQUAD! 402 00:14:05,111 --> 00:14:07,345 >> I WOULD NOW LIKE TO INVITE UP KELSEY'S BESTIES, AKA KEL-SQUAD! >> WHAT UP? 403 00:14:07,347 --> 00:14:08,513 KELSEY'S BESTIES, AKA KEL-SQUAD! >> WHAT UP? INSTEAD OF A GIFT, WE'RE GOING 404 00:14:08,515 --> 00:14:09,981 >> WHAT UP? INSTEAD OF A GIFT, WE'RE GOING TO DO SOMETHING DIFFERENT FOR 405 00:14:09,983 --> 00:14:11,316 INSTEAD OF A GIFT, WE'RE GOING TO DO SOMETHING DIFFERENT FOR Y'ALL BECAUSE WE'RE A LITTLE BIT 406 00:14:11,318 --> 00:14:11,950 TO DO SOMETHING DIFFERENT FOR Y'ALL BECAUSE WE'RE A LITTLE BIT ARTISTIC AND A LITTLE BIT 407 00:14:11,952 --> 00:14:15,553 Y'ALL BECAUSE WE'RE A LITTLE BIT ARTISTIC AND A LITTLE BIT RANDOM. 408 00:14:15,555 --> 00:14:19,958 ARTISTIC AND A LITTLE BIT RANDOM. >> LAST MONTH, WE TOOK KELSEY ON 409 00:14:19,960 --> 00:14:22,060 RANDOM. >> LAST MONTH, WE TOOK KELSEY ON ONE LAST GIRL'S TRIP, A BESTIES 410 00:14:22,062 --> 00:14:23,561 >> LAST MONTH, WE TOOK KELSEY ON ONE LAST GIRL'S TRIP, A BESTIES BABYMOON. 411 00:14:23,563 --> 00:14:24,229 ONE LAST GIRL'S TRIP, A BESTIES BABYMOON. >> I THINK THE BABYMOON IS 412 00:14:24,231 --> 00:14:24,896 BABYMOON. >> I THINK THE BABYMOON IS NORMALLY FOR THE COUPLE BUT 413 00:14:24,898 --> 00:14:25,863 >> I THINK THE BABYMOON IS NORMALLY FOR THE COUPLE BUT QUEENS GOTTA BE QUEENS. 414 00:14:25,865 --> 00:14:29,534 NORMALLY FOR THE COUPLE BUT QUEENS GOTTA BE QUEENS. [ LAUGHTER ] 415 00:14:29,536 --> 00:14:31,035 QUEENS GOTTA BE QUEENS. [ LAUGHTER ] >> LET'S JUST SAY KELSEY WAS HOT 416 00:14:31,037 --> 00:14:32,570 [ LAUGHTER ] >> LET'S JUST SAY KELSEY WAS HOT TO GO ON OUR VACAY, SO WE WROTE 417 00:14:32,572 --> 00:14:38,309 >> LET'S JUST SAY KELSEY WAS HOT TO GO ON OUR VACAY, SO WE WROTE A SPECIAL SONG ABOUT IT. 418 00:14:38,311 --> 00:14:39,544 TO GO ON OUR VACAY, SO WE WROTE A SPECIAL SONG ABOUT IT. THEY SAY EVERYTHING'S BIGGER IN 419 00:14:39,546 --> 00:14:42,413 A SPECIAL SONG ABOUT IT. THEY SAY EVERYTHING'S BIGGER IN TEXAS. 420 00:14:42,415 --> 00:14:44,048 THEY SAY EVERYTHING'S BIGGER IN TEXAS. >> BUT KELSEY'S ALREADY EFFING 421 00:14:44,050 --> 00:14:45,550 TEXAS. >> BUT KELSEY'S ALREADY EFFING HUGE, SO WE WENT TO MIAMI! 422 00:14:45,552 --> 00:14:46,284 >> BUT KELSEY'S ALREADY EFFING HUGE, SO WE WENT TO MIAMI! >> FIVE, SIX, FIVE, SIX, SEVEN, 423 00:14:46,286 --> 00:14:47,285 HUGE, SO WE WENT TO MIAMI! >> FIVE, SIX, FIVE, SIX, SEVEN, EIGHT! 424 00:14:47,287 --> 00:14:48,586 >> FIVE, SIX, FIVE, SIX, SEVEN, EIGHT! ¶ KELSEY IS OUR BESTIE GOT TO BE 425 00:14:48,588 --> 00:14:51,055 EIGHT! ¶ KELSEY IS OUR BESTIE GOT TO BE A MAMA ¶ 426 00:14:51,057 --> 00:14:52,657 ¶ KELSEY IS OUR BESTIE GOT TO BE A MAMA ¶ ¶ SO WE TOOK A TRIP IN MY 427 00:14:52,659 --> 00:14:55,560 A MAMA ¶ ¶ SO WE TOOK A TRIP IN MY HYUNDAI SONATA ¶ 428 00:14:55,562 --> 00:14:57,729 ¶ SO WE TOOK A TRIP IN MY HYUNDAI SONATA ¶ ¶ JUST 'CAUSE YOU'RE PREGNANT 429 00:14:57,731 --> 00:15:01,766 HYUNDAI SONATA ¶ ¶ JUST 'CAUSE YOU'RE PREGNANT DON'T MEAN YOU'RE A BEGANMY ¶ 430 00:15:01,768 --> 00:15:02,500 ¶ JUST 'CAUSE YOU'RE PREGNANT DON'T MEAN YOU'RE A BEGANMY ¶ ¶ KELSEY COULDN'T FLY SO WE 431 00:15:02,502 --> 00:15:03,801 DON'T MEAN YOU'RE A BEGANMY ¶ ¶ KELSEY COULDN'T FLY SO WE DROVE TO MIAMI ¶ 432 00:15:03,803 --> 00:15:06,537 ¶ KELSEY COULDN'T FLY SO WE DROVE TO MIAMI ¶ ¶ WE WENT TO THE SPA BUT KELSEY 433 00:15:06,539 --> 00:15:07,772 DROVE TO MIAMI ¶ ¶ WE WENT TO THE SPA BUT KELSEY GOT TO TOP IT ALL ¶ 434 00:15:07,774 --> 00:15:12,143 ¶ WE WENT TO THE SPA BUT KELSEY GOT TO TOP IT ALL ¶ ¶ WE SAY KELSEY GET OFF YOUR 435 00:15:12,145 --> 00:15:13,678 GOT TO TOP IT ALL ¶ ¶ WE SAY KELSEY GET OFF YOUR PHONE ¶ 436 00:15:13,680 --> 00:15:14,412 ¶ WE SAY KELSEY GET OFF YOUR PHONE ¶ ¶ BECAUSE WE KNOW WHO SHE'S 437 00:15:14,414 --> 00:15:22,186 PHONE ¶ ¶ BECAUSE WE KNOW WHO SHE'S TEXTING KNOW WHO SHE'S TEXTING ¶ 438 00:15:22,188 --> 00:15:28,559 ¶ BECAUSE WE KNOW WHO SHE'S TEXTING KNOW WHO SHE'S TEXTING ¶ ¶ D-O-M-I-N-G-O ¶ 439 00:15:28,561 --> 00:15:29,360 TEXTING KNOW WHO SHE'S TEXTING ¶ ¶ D-O-M-I-N-G-O ¶ ¶ SHE'S SENDING HIM HER PREGNANT 440 00:15:29,362 --> 00:15:31,195 ¶ D-O-M-I-N-G-O ¶ ¶ SHE'S SENDING HIM HER PREGNANT NEWS ¶ 441 00:15:31,197 --> 00:15:32,297 ¶ SHE'S SENDING HIM HER PREGNANT NEWS ¶ >> WAIT, WHAT HAPPENED? 442 00:15:32,299 --> 00:15:34,198 NEWS ¶ >> WAIT, WHAT HAPPENED? >> OH, MY GOD, BABE, JUST LISTEN 443 00:15:34,200 --> 00:15:35,166 >> WAIT, WHAT HAPPENED? >> OH, MY GOD, BABE, JUST LISTEN TO THE WHOLE SONG BEFORE YOU 444 00:15:35,168 --> 00:15:35,833 >> OH, MY GOD, BABE, JUST LISTEN TO THE WHOLE SONG BEFORE YOU MAKE, LIKE, A SNAP JUDGMENT. 445 00:15:35,835 --> 00:15:37,302 TO THE WHOLE SONG BEFORE YOU MAKE, LIKE, A SNAP JUDGMENT. [ LAUGHTER ] 446 00:15:37,304 --> 00:15:39,604 MAKE, LIKE, A SNAP JUDGMENT. [ LAUGHTER ] >> OKAY, WELL THE SONG JUST 447 00:15:39,606 --> 00:15:40,305 [ LAUGHTER ] >> OKAY, WELL THE SONG JUST STARTED AND WE'RE ALREADY AT 448 00:15:40,307 --> 00:15:44,442 >> OKAY, WELL THE SONG JUST STARTED AND WE'RE ALREADY AT PREGNANT NEWS. 449 00:15:44,444 --> 00:15:47,979 STARTED AND WE'RE ALREADY AT PREGNANT NEWS. ¶ DANCING AT THE CLUB KELSEY'S 450 00:15:47,981 --> 00:15:48,746 PREGNANT NEWS. ¶ DANCING AT THE CLUB KELSEY'S HAD IT ¶ 451 00:15:48,748 --> 00:15:49,547 ¶ DANCING AT THE CLUB KELSEY'S HAD IT ¶ ¶ TAKE HER TO THE BATHROOM AND 452 00:15:49,549 --> 00:15:52,050 HAD IT ¶ ¶ TAKE HER TO THE BATHROOM AND SHE JUST STARTS SHOUTING ¶ 453 00:15:52,052 --> 00:15:53,284 ¶ TAKE HER TO THE BATHROOM AND SHE JUST STARTS SHOUTING ¶ ¶ SHE SAYS EIGHT MONTHS AGO IS A 454 00:15:53,286 --> 00:15:57,121 SHE JUST STARTS SHOUTING ¶ ¶ SHE SAYS EIGHT MONTHS AGO IS A LITTLE BIT HAZY ¶ 455 00:15:57,123 --> 00:15:58,122 ¶ SHE SAYS EIGHT MONTHS AGO IS A LITTLE BIT HAZY ¶ ¶ I'M 90% SURE IT'S NOT 456 00:15:58,124 --> 00:15:59,524 LITTLE BIT HAZY ¶ ¶ I'M 90% SURE IT'S NOT DOMINGO'S BABY ¶ 457 00:15:59,526 --> 00:16:00,058 ¶ I'M 90% SURE IT'S NOT DOMINGO'S BABY ¶ >> WAIT, WHAT? 458 00:16:00,060 --> 00:16:00,792 DOMINGO'S BABY ¶ >> WAIT, WHAT? THERE'S A CHANCE IT ISN'T EVEN 459 00:16:00,794 --> 00:16:01,292 >> WAIT, WHAT? THERE'S A CHANCE IT ISN'T EVEN MY KID? 460 00:16:01,294 --> 00:16:02,293 THERE'S A CHANCE IT ISN'T EVEN MY KID? >> HEY, BABE, ARE YOU LISTENING? 461 00:16:02,295 --> 00:16:04,662 MY KID? >> HEY, BABE, ARE YOU LISTENING? I SAID 90% NOT HIS BABY. 462 00:16:04,664 --> 00:16:05,129 >> HEY, BABE, ARE YOU LISTENING? I SAID 90% NOT HIS BABY. TRUST THE MATH. 463 00:16:05,131 --> 00:16:08,666 I SAID 90% NOT HIS BABY. TRUST THE MATH. [ LAUGHTER ] 464 00:16:08,668 --> 00:16:11,202 TRUST THE MATH. [ LAUGHTER ] ¶ NOW WE CAN FINALLY SEE WHY 465 00:16:11,204 --> 00:16:15,106 [ LAUGHTER ] ¶ NOW WE CAN FINALLY SEE WHY KELSEY BROUGHT US TO MIAMI ¶ 466 00:16:15,108 --> 00:16:17,508 ¶ NOW WE CAN FINALLY SEE WHY KELSEY BROUGHT US TO MIAMI ¶ ¶ SHE HAS THE ADDRESS OF HIS 467 00:16:17,510 --> 00:16:18,609 KELSEY BROUGHT US TO MIAMI ¶ ¶ SHE HAS THE ADDRESS OF HIS CHILDHOOD HOME ¶ 468 00:16:18,611 --> 00:16:21,446 ¶ SHE HAS THE ADDRESS OF HIS CHILDHOOD HOME ¶ ¶ SHE NEEDS TO TELL FAMILY THEY 469 00:16:21,448 --> 00:16:22,914 CHILDHOOD HOME ¶ ¶ SHE NEEDS TO TELL FAMILY THEY COMPLETELY EMBRACE HER ¶ 470 00:16:22,916 --> 00:16:23,614 ¶ SHE NEEDS TO TELL FAMILY THEY COMPLETELY EMBRACE HER ¶ >> IS THE POINT OF THIS SONG 471 00:16:23,616 --> 00:16:27,051 COMPLETELY EMBRACE HER ¶ >> IS THE POINT OF THIS SONG THAT YOU SAW DOMINGO IN MIAMI? 472 00:16:27,053 --> 00:16:28,086 >> IS THE POINT OF THIS SONG THAT YOU SAW DOMINGO IN MIAMI? >> NO, THE POINT IS IT IS HOT TO 473 00:16:28,088 --> 00:16:29,454 THAT YOU SAW DOMINGO IN MIAMI? >> NO, THE POINT IS IT IS HOT TO GO. 474 00:16:29,456 --> 00:16:30,922 >> NO, THE POINT IS IT IS HOT TO GO. [ LAUGHTER ] 475 00:16:30,924 --> 00:16:34,425 GO. [ LAUGHTER ] ¶ D-O-M-I-N-G-O ¶ 476 00:16:34,427 --> 00:16:38,162 [ LAUGHTER ] ¶ D-O-M-I-N-G-O ¶ ¶ KELSEY'S LEARNING ESPANOL ¶ 477 00:16:38,164 --> 00:16:45,803 ¶ D-O-M-I-N-G-O ¶ ¶ KELSEY'S LEARNING ESPANOL ¶ ¶ D-O-M-I-N-G-O ¶ 478 00:16:45,805 --> 00:16:48,806 ¶ KELSEY'S LEARNING ESPANOL ¶ ¶ D-O-M-I-N-G-O ¶ ¶ GET ON YOUR DUOLINGO ¶ 479 00:16:48,808 --> 00:16:50,875 ¶ D-O-M-I-N-G-O ¶ ¶ GET ON YOUR DUOLINGO ¶ >> I KNEW I HEARD YOU SPEAKING 480 00:16:50,877 --> 00:16:53,277 ¶ GET ON YOUR DUOLINGO ¶ >> I KNEW I HEARD YOU SPEAKING SPANISH THE BATHROOM. 481 00:16:53,279 --> 00:16:54,078 >> I KNEW I HEARD YOU SPEAKING SPANISH THE BATHROOM. ¶ WE DON'T KNOW WHERE KELSEY'S 482 00:16:54,080 --> 00:16:54,812 SPANISH THE BATHROOM. ¶ WE DON'T KNOW WHERE KELSEY'S BEEN ¶ 483 00:16:54,814 --> 00:16:55,546 ¶ WE DON'T KNOW WHERE KELSEY'S BEEN ¶ ¶ LOOK HER UP ON FIND MY 484 00:16:55,548 --> 00:16:56,547 BEEN ¶ ¶ LOOK HER UP ON FIND MY FRIENDS ¶ 485 00:16:56,549 --> 00:16:58,049 ¶ LOOK HER UP ON FIND MY FRIENDS ¶ ¶ SHE'S STANDING IN THE OCEAN 486 00:16:58,051 --> 00:17:01,753 FRIENDS ¶ ¶ SHE'S STANDING IN THE OCEAN LIKE SHE DON'T GIVE A DAMN ¶ 487 00:17:01,755 --> 00:17:02,453 ¶ SHE'S STANDING IN THE OCEAN LIKE SHE DON'T GIVE A DAMN ¶ ¶ THEN SHE PULLS OUT THE 488 00:17:02,455 --> 00:17:04,422 LIKE SHE DON'T GIVE A DAMN ¶ ¶ THEN SHE PULLS OUT THE SONOGRAM ¶ 489 00:17:04,424 --> 00:17:06,157 ¶ THEN SHE PULLS OUT THE SONOGRAM ¶ ¶ SHE SAYS WE CAME TO MIAMI 490 00:17:06,159 --> 00:17:07,658 SONOGRAM ¶ ¶ SHE SAYS WE CAME TO MIAMI 'CAUSE SHE FOUND OUT THE 491 00:17:07,660 --> 00:17:11,429 ¶ SHE SAYS WE CAME TO MIAMI 'CAUSE SHE FOUND OUT THE PATERNITY ¶ 492 00:17:11,431 --> 00:17:13,664 'CAUSE SHE FOUND OUT THE PATERNITY ¶ ¶ THE DOCTOR SAYS IT IS TWINS 493 00:17:13,666 --> 00:17:14,932 PATERNITY ¶ ¶ THE DOCTOR SAYS IT IS TWINS AND ONE IS MATTHEW'S AND ONE IS 494 00:17:14,934 --> 00:17:17,135 ¶ THE DOCTOR SAYS IT IS TWINS AND ONE IS MATTHEW'S AND ONE IS DOMINGO'S ¶ 495 00:17:17,137 --> 00:17:17,769 AND ONE IS MATTHEW'S AND ONE IS DOMINGO'S ¶ [ LAUGHTER ] 496 00:17:17,771 --> 00:17:18,569 DOMINGO'S ¶ [ LAUGHTER ] >> THAT IS BIOLOGICALLY 497 00:17:18,571 --> 00:17:21,506 [ LAUGHTER ] >> THAT IS BIOLOGICALLY IMPOSSIBLE. 498 00:17:21,508 --> 00:17:24,142 >> THAT IS BIOLOGICALLY IMPOSSIBLE. >> OKAY, MIRACLES HAPPEN EVERY 499 00:17:24,144 --> 00:17:24,409 IMPOSSIBLE. >> OKAY, MIRACLES HAPPEN EVERY DAY. 500 00:17:24,411 --> 00:17:25,910 >> OKAY, MIRACLES HAPPEN EVERY DAY. >> I'M GOING TO ASK YOU A 501 00:17:25,912 --> 00:17:27,178 DAY. >> I'M GOING TO ASK YOU A QUESTION, AND I WANT YOU TO BE 502 00:17:27,180 --> 00:17:28,379 >> I'M GOING TO ASK YOU A QUESTION, AND I WANT YOU TO BE HONEST WITH ME. 503 00:17:28,381 --> 00:17:29,113 QUESTION, AND I WANT YOU TO BE HONEST WITH ME. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU SAW 504 00:17:29,115 --> 00:17:30,681 HONEST WITH ME. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU SAW DOMINGO? 505 00:17:30,683 --> 00:17:31,682 WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU SAW DOMINGO? >> IT IS TODAY! 506 00:17:31,684 --> 00:17:35,920 DOMINGO? >> IT IS TODAY! [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 507 00:17:35,922 --> 00:17:36,921 >> IT IS TODAY! [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] ¶ HEY MY BROTHER AREN'T YOU 508 00:17:36,923 --> 00:17:38,423 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] ¶ HEY MY BROTHER AREN'T YOU HAPPY ¶ 509 00:17:38,425 --> 00:17:39,924 ¶ HEY MY BROTHER AREN'T YOU HAPPY ¶ ¶ HEARING FROM DOMINGO WE BOTH 510 00:17:39,926 --> 00:17:41,659 HAPPY ¶ ¶ HEARING FROM DOMINGO WE BOTH ARE DADDIES ¶ 511 00:17:41,661 --> 00:17:42,894 ¶ HEARING FROM DOMINGO WE BOTH ARE DADDIES ¶ ¶ DOMINGO GONNA BE IN YOUR LIFE 512 00:17:42,896 --> 00:17:44,429 ARE DADDIES ¶ ¶ DOMINGO GONNA BE IN YOUR LIFE FOREVER ¶ 513 00:17:44,431 --> 00:17:45,930 ¶ DOMINGO GONNA BE IN YOUR LIFE FOREVER ¶ ¶ WE'LL RAISE OUR BABIES IN 514 00:17:45,932 --> 00:17:49,400 FOREVER ¶ ¶ WE'LL RAISE OUR BABIES IN MIAMI TOGETHER ¶ 515 00:17:49,402 --> 00:17:51,436 ¶ WE'LL RAISE OUR BABIES IN MIAMI TOGETHER ¶ >> WAIT, WE'RE MOVING TO MIAMI? 516 00:17:51,438 --> 00:17:55,106 MIAMI TOGETHER ¶ >> WAIT, WE'RE MOVING TO MIAMI? >> YEAH. 517 00:17:55,108 --> 00:17:58,609 >> WAIT, WE'RE MOVING TO MIAMI? >> YEAH. IF YOU WANT TO COPARENT. 518 00:17:58,611 --> 00:17:59,343 >> YEAH. IF YOU WANT TO COPARENT. >> CAN WE HAVE A WATER BIRTH? 519 00:17:59,345 --> 00:18:01,879 IF YOU WANT TO COPARENT. >> CAN WE HAVE A WATER BIRTH? I HAVE A HOT TUB! 520 00:18:01,881 --> 00:18:02,280 >> CAN WE HAVE A WATER BIRTH? I HAVE A HOT TUB! [ LAUGHTER ] 521 00:18:02,282 --> 00:18:03,781 I HAVE A HOT TUB! [ LAUGHTER ] >> FIVE, SIX, SEVEN, EIGHT! 522 00:18:03,783 --> 00:18:05,383 [ LAUGHTER ] >> FIVE, SIX, SEVEN, EIGHT! ¶ D-O-M-I-N-G-O ¶ 523 00:18:05,385 --> 00:18:13,024 >> FIVE, SIX, SEVEN, EIGHT! ¶ D-O-M-I-N-G-O ¶ [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 524 00:18:13,026 --> 00:18:14,559 ¶ D-O-M-I-N-G-O ¶ [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] >>> AUDIENCES CANNOT WAIT TO SEE 525 00:18:14,561 --> 00:18:17,094 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] >>> AUDIENCES CANNOT WAIT TO SEE THE STAR-STUDDED CAST OF 526 00:18:17,096 --> 00:18:21,899 >>> AUDIENCES CANNOT WAIT TO SEE THE STAR-STUDDED CAST OF "WICKED." 527 00:18:21,901 --> 00:18:22,667 THE STAR-STUDDED CAST OF "WICKED." ACTORS ACROSS HOLLYWOOD 528 00:18:22,669 --> 00:18:23,367 "WICKED." ACTORS ACROSS HOLLYWOOD AUDITIONED TO STEP FOOT IN OZ. 529 00:18:23,369 --> 00:18:24,101 ACTORS ACROSS HOLLYWOOD AUDITIONED TO STEP FOOT IN OZ. HERE ARE THEIR NEVER-BEFORE-SEEN 530 00:18:24,103 --> 00:18:27,672 AUDITIONED TO STEP FOOT IN OZ. HERE ARE THEIR NEVER-BEFORE-SEEN SCREEN TESTS. 531 00:18:27,674 --> 00:18:30,942 HERE ARE THEIR NEVER-BEFORE-SEEN SCREEN TESTS. >> READING FOR BELINDA. 532 00:18:30,944 --> 00:18:31,776 SCREEN TESTS. >> READING FOR BELINDA. ¶ POPULAR YOU GOTTA BE POPULAR ¶ 533 00:18:31,778 --> 00:18:35,580 >> READING FOR BELINDA. ¶ POPULAR YOU GOTTA BE POPULAR ¶ ¶ I'M STILL A BAD GIRL ¶ 534 00:18:35,582 --> 00:18:38,749 ¶ POPULAR YOU GOTTA BE POPULAR ¶ ¶ I'M STILL A BAD GIRL ¶ >> OKAY, TESTING FOR ELPHABA, 535 00:18:38,751 --> 00:18:39,083 ¶ I'M STILL A BAD GIRL ¶ >> OKAY, TESTING FOR ELPHABA, ADELE. 536 00:18:39,085 --> 00:18:40,751 >> OKAY, TESTING FOR ELPHABA, ADELE. >> HELLO, CAN I TAKE MY SHOES 537 00:18:40,753 --> 00:18:41,018 ADELE. >> HELLO, CAN I TAKE MY SHOES OFF? 538 00:18:41,020 --> 00:18:41,953 >> HELLO, CAN I TAKE MY SHOES OFF? >> OKAY, ADELE. 539 00:18:41,955 --> 00:18:43,588 OFF? >> OKAY, ADELE. >> OKAY, WICKED. 540 00:18:43,590 --> 00:18:45,122 >> OKAY, ADELE. >> OKAY, WICKED. OH, MY GOD, I SAID THE NAME OF 541 00:18:45,124 --> 00:18:46,357 >> OKAY, WICKED. OH, MY GOD, I SAID THE NAME OF THE BLOODY MOVIE! 542 00:18:46,359 --> 00:18:47,758 OH, MY GOD, I SAID THE NAME OF THE BLOODY MOVIE! SHUT UP, THAT'S [ BLEEP ] FUNNY. 543 00:18:47,760 --> 00:18:50,228 THE BLOODY MOVIE! SHUT UP, THAT'S [ BLEEP ] FUNNY. >> NEXT, SHANNON SHARPE. 544 00:18:50,230 --> 00:18:51,863 SHUT UP, THAT'S [ BLEEP ] FUNNY. >> NEXT, SHANNON SHARPE. >> WHAT'S UP, THE GREENWICH IS 545 00:18:51,865 --> 00:18:53,598 >> NEXT, SHANNON SHARPE. >> WHAT'S UP, THE GREENWICH IS THE GOOD ONE, THE GOOD WITCH, 546 00:18:53,600 --> 00:18:55,099 >> WHAT'S UP, THE GREENWICH IS THE GOOD ONE, THE GOOD WITCH, THE BAD WITCH? 547 00:18:55,101 --> 00:18:57,268 THE GOOD ONE, THE GOOD WITCH, THE BAD WITCH? OH, ELPHABA, YOU TELLING ME YOU 548 00:18:57,270 --> 00:18:58,436 THE BAD WITCH? OH, ELPHABA, YOU TELLING ME YOU MADE MONKEYS FLY? 549 00:18:58,438 --> 00:19:00,505 OH, ELPHABA, YOU TELLING ME YOU MADE MONKEYS FLY? COME ON, ELPHABA. 550 00:19:00,507 --> 00:19:01,572 MADE MONKEYS FLY? COME ON, ELPHABA. >> FRAN LEBOWITZ. 551 00:19:01,574 --> 00:19:04,075 COME ON, ELPHABA. >> FRAN LEBOWITZ. >> PRETEND IT'S AN EMERALD CITY. 552 00:19:04,077 --> 00:19:07,745 >> FRAN LEBOWITZ. >> PRETEND IT'S AN EMERALD CITY. IT'S AN EMERALD CITY BUT IT'S A 553 00:19:07,747 --> 00:19:08,246 >> PRETEND IT'S AN EMERALD CITY. IT'S AN EMERALD CITY BUT IT'S A YELLOW BRICK ROAD. 554 00:19:08,248 --> 00:19:09,647 IT'S AN EMERALD CITY BUT IT'S A YELLOW BRICK ROAD. SAY, DING DONG THE WITCH IS 555 00:19:09,649 --> 00:19:09,947 YELLOW BRICK ROAD. SAY, DING DONG THE WITCH IS DEAD. 556 00:19:09,949 --> 00:19:12,049 SAY, DING DONG THE WITCH IS DEAD. WHAT ARE YOU, A DOORBELL? 557 00:19:12,051 --> 00:19:13,885 DEAD. WHAT ARE YOU, A DOORBELL? >> SYDNEY SWEENEY. 558 00:19:13,887 --> 00:19:17,321 WHAT ARE YOU, A DOORBELL? >> SYDNEY SWEENEY. >> HI, ARE YOU LIKE A WIZARD OR 559 00:19:17,323 --> 00:19:17,688 >> SYDNEY SWEENEY. >> HI, ARE YOU LIKE A WIZARD OR WHATEVER? 560 00:19:17,690 --> 00:19:18,022 >> HI, ARE YOU LIKE A WIZARD OR WHATEVER? RANDOM. 561 00:19:18,024 --> 00:19:19,323 WHATEVER? RANDOM. >> BERNIE SANDERS FOR THE MAYOR 562 00:19:19,325 --> 00:19:20,658 RANDOM. >> BERNIE SANDERS FOR THE MAYOR OF MUNCHKINLAND. 563 00:19:20,660 --> 00:19:24,128 >> BERNIE SANDERS FOR THE MAYOR OF MUNCHKINLAND. >> WE ARE SENDING MILLIONS AND 564 00:19:24,130 --> 00:19:26,764 OF MUNCHKINLAND. >> WE ARE SENDING MILLIONS AND BILLIONS TO THE WIZARD, 565 00:19:26,766 --> 00:19:29,333 >> WE ARE SENDING MILLIONS AND BILLIONS TO THE WIZARD, MEANWHILE, THE MUNCHKINS ARE 566 00:19:29,335 --> 00:19:33,971 BILLIONS TO THE WIZARD, MEANWHILE, THE MUNCHKINS ARE LIVING PAYCHECK TO PAYCHECK. 567 00:19:33,973 --> 00:19:36,574 MEANWHILE, THE MUNCHKINS ARE LIVING PAYCHECK TO PAYCHECK. >> SEBASTIAN MANISCALO. 568 00:19:36,576 --> 00:19:38,509 LIVING PAYCHECK TO PAYCHECK. >> SEBASTIAN MANISCALO. >> I TAKE MY FIRST LITTLE STEP 569 00:19:38,511 --> 00:19:39,911 >> SEBASTIAN MANISCALO. >> I TAKE MY FIRST LITTLE STEP INTO DIVERSITY, YOU HEARD OF 570 00:19:39,913 --> 00:19:40,211 >> I TAKE MY FIRST LITTLE STEP INTO DIVERSITY, YOU HEARD OF THIS? 571 00:19:40,213 --> 00:19:40,945 INTO DIVERSITY, YOU HEARD OF THIS? THEY GOT A GOAT FOR A TEACHER? 572 00:19:40,947 --> 00:19:44,348 THIS? THEY GOT A GOAT FOR A TEACHER? GET OUT OF HERE! 573 00:19:44,350 --> 00:19:44,949 THEY GOT A GOAT FOR A TEACHER? GET OUT OF HERE! TAKE IT SOMEWHERE ELSE. 574 00:19:44,951 --> 00:19:48,085 GET OUT OF HERE! TAKE IT SOMEWHERE ELSE. WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT? 575 00:19:48,087 --> 00:19:48,619 TAKE IT SOMEWHERE ELSE. WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT? >> MARTHA STEWART. 576 00:19:48,621 --> 00:19:53,257 WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT? >> MARTHA STEWART. >> SOME PEOPLE ARE BORN WICKED, 577 00:19:53,259 --> 00:19:54,892 >> MARTHA STEWART. >> SOME PEOPLE ARE BORN WICKED, WHILE OTHERS HAVE WICKEDNESS 578 00:19:54,894 --> 00:19:55,993 >> SOME PEOPLE ARE BORN WICKED, WHILE OTHERS HAVE WICKEDNESS THRUST UPON THEM. 579 00:19:55,995 --> 00:19:58,596 WHILE OTHERS HAVE WICKEDNESS THRUST UPON THEM. SOMEONE THRUST UPON ME ONCE. 580 00:19:58,598 --> 00:19:59,897 THRUST UPON THEM. SOMEONE THRUST UPON ME ONCE. WONDERFUL IRISHMAN. 581 00:19:59,899 --> 00:20:02,767 SOMEONE THRUST UPON ME ONCE. WONDERFUL IRISHMAN. >> READING FOR GLINDA AND 582 00:20:02,769 --> 00:20:07,638 WONDERFUL IRISHMAN. >> READING FOR GLINDA AND ELPHABA, CHARLI XCX AND TROY 583 00:20:07,640 --> 00:20:07,972 >> READING FOR GLINDA AND ELPHABA, CHARLI XCX AND TROY SABAN. 584 00:20:07,974 --> 00:20:09,674 ELPHABA, CHARLI XCX AND TROY SABAN. >> CAN I CALL YOU ELSIE? 585 00:20:09,676 --> 00:20:10,041 SABAN. >> CAN I CALL YOU ELSIE? >> NO. 586 00:20:10,043 --> 00:20:12,677 >> CAN I CALL YOU ELSIE? >> NO. >> I'M A BITCH AND YOU'RE A 587 00:20:12,679 --> 00:20:12,977 >> NO. >> I'M A BITCH AND YOU'RE A WITCH. 588 00:20:12,979 --> 00:20:13,444 >> I'M A BITCH AND YOU'RE A WITCH. I'M CONFUSED. 589 00:20:13,446 --> 00:20:16,847 WITCH. I'M CONFUSED. >> I'M NOT A WITCH, I'M A TOP. 590 00:20:16,849 --> 00:20:17,248 I'M CONFUSED. >> I'M NOT A WITCH, I'M A TOP. [ LAUGHTER ] 591 00:20:17,250 --> 00:20:18,616 >> I'M NOT A WITCH, I'M A TOP. [ LAUGHTER ] NEXT IS AL PACINO. 592 00:20:18,618 --> 00:20:21,485 [ LAUGHTER ] NEXT IS AL PACINO. >> OH, THERE'S MUNCHKINS IN 593 00:20:21,487 --> 00:20:22,520 NEXT IS AL PACINO. >> OH, THERE'S MUNCHKINS IN THIS, RIGHT? 594 00:20:22,522 --> 00:20:23,921 >> OH, THERE'S MUNCHKINS IN THIS, RIGHT? MAYBE I COULD SAY SOMETHING 595 00:20:23,923 --> 00:20:24,822 THIS, RIGHT? MAYBE I COULD SAY SOMETHING LIKE, "SAY HELLO TO MY LITTLE 596 00:20:24,824 --> 00:20:27,458 MAYBE I COULD SAY SOMETHING LIKE, "SAY HELLO TO MY LITTLE FRIEND." 597 00:20:27,460 --> 00:20:28,659 LIKE, "SAY HELLO TO MY LITTLE FRIEND." YOU KNOW, I DIED ONCE. 598 00:20:28,661 --> 00:20:29,594 FRIEND." YOU KNOW, I DIED ONCE. AND THERE WAS NOTHING. 599 00:20:29,596 --> 00:20:33,130 YOU KNOW, I DIED ONCE. AND THERE WAS NOTHING. >> NEXT UP, LESLIE MANN. 600 00:20:33,132 --> 00:20:35,366 AND THERE WAS NOTHING. >> NEXT UP, LESLIE MANN. >> EWW, WHY ARE YOU GREEN? 601 00:20:35,368 --> 00:20:38,336 >> NEXT UP, LESLIE MANN. >> EWW, WHY ARE YOU GREEN? I WOULD LOVE TO BE GREEN. 602 00:20:38,338 --> 00:20:40,438 >> EWW, WHY ARE YOU GREEN? I WOULD LOVE TO BE GREEN. UM, I'M, LIKE, A MOM. 603 00:20:40,440 --> 00:20:41,906 I WOULD LOVE TO BE GREEN. UM, I'M, LIKE, A MOM. >> JANET JACKSON READING FOR 604 00:20:41,908 --> 00:20:42,273 UM, I'M, LIKE, A MOM. >> JANET JACKSON READING FOR ELPHABA. 605 00:20:42,275 --> 00:20:43,374 >> JANET JACKSON READING FOR ELPHABA. >> WHAT MOVIE IS THIS FOR? 606 00:20:43,376 --> 00:20:44,742 ELPHABA. >> WHAT MOVIE IS THIS FOR? >> IT'S FOR "WICKED." 607 00:20:44,744 --> 00:20:46,577 >> WHAT MOVIE IS THIS FOR? >> IT'S FOR "WICKED." >> I DON'T WANT TO BE IN THIS. 608 00:20:46,579 --> 00:20:50,114 >> IT'S FOR "WICKED." >> I DON'T WANT TO BE IN THIS. >> MIKEY MADISON FROM "ANORA." 609 00:20:50,116 --> 00:20:52,149 >> I DON'T WANT TO BE IN THIS. >> MIKEY MADISON FROM "ANORA." >> HEY, BABY, YOU WANT TO GO TO 610 00:20:52,151 --> 00:20:54,218 >> MIKEY MADISON FROM "ANORA." >> HEY, BABY, YOU WANT TO GO TO A PRIVATE ROOM AND MEET THE 611 00:20:54,220 --> 00:20:56,020 >> HEY, BABY, YOU WANT TO GO TO A PRIVATE ROOM AND MEET THE WIZARD? 612 00:20:56,022 --> 00:20:56,621 A PRIVATE ROOM AND MEET THE WIZARD? YOU DON'T HAVE ANY CASH? 613 00:20:56,623 --> 00:20:58,289 WIZARD? YOU DON'T HAVE ANY CASH? LET'S GO TO AN ATM IN OZ. 614 00:20:58,291 --> 00:21:01,392 YOU DON'T HAVE ANY CASH? LET'S GO TO AN ATM IN OZ. >> BAD BUNNY SCREEN TESTING FOR 615 00:21:01,394 --> 00:21:01,692 LET'S GO TO AN ATM IN OZ. >> BAD BUNNY SCREEN TESTING FOR FIERO. 616 00:21:01,694 --> 00:21:07,264 >> BAD BUNNY SCREEN TESTING FOR FIERO. ¶¶ 617 00:21:07,266 --> 00:21:08,232 FIERO. ¶¶ >> THAT'S GREAT. 618 00:21:08,234 --> 00:21:09,333 ¶¶ >> THAT'S GREAT. ANY CHANCE WE COULD GET IT AGAIN 619 00:21:09,335 --> 00:21:09,734 >> THAT'S GREAT. ANY CHANCE WE COULD GET IT AGAIN IN ENGLISH? 620 00:21:09,736 --> 00:21:13,404 ANY CHANCE WE COULD GET IT AGAIN IN ENGLISH? >> NO. 621 00:21:13,406 --> 00:21:18,809 IN ENGLISH? >> NO. ¶ AAHHH ¶ 622 00:21:18,811 --> 00:21:19,410 >> NO. ¶ AAHHH ¶ ¶ AAHHH ¶ 623 00:21:19,412 --> 00:21:36,694 ¶ AAHHH ¶ ¶ AAHHH ¶ [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 624 00:21:36,696 --> 00:21:37,328 ¶ AAHHH ¶ [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] >>> WE NOW RETURN TO THE 625 00:21:37,330 --> 00:21:37,862 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] >>> WE NOW RETURN TO THE THANKSGIVING BAKING 626 00:21:37,864 --> 00:21:40,531 >>> WE NOW RETURN TO THE THANKSGIVING BAKING CHAMPIONSHIP. 627 00:21:40,533 --> 00:21:42,099 THANKSGIVING BAKING CHAMPIONSHIP. >> OKAY, BAKERS. 628 00:21:42,101 --> 00:21:43,801 CHAMPIONSHIP. >> OKAY, BAKERS. TIME IS UP. 629 00:21:43,803 --> 00:21:45,369 >> OKAY, BAKERS. TIME IS UP. TODAY'S THEME WAS THANKSGIVING 630 00:21:45,371 --> 00:21:47,171 TIME IS UP. TODAY'S THEME WAS THANKSGIVING BOUNTY, AND YOU HAD TWO HOURS TO 631 00:21:47,173 --> 00:21:48,806 TODAY'S THEME WAS THANKSGIVING BOUNTY, AND YOU HAD TWO HOURS TO CREATE CAKES WORTH GIVING THANKS 632 00:21:48,808 --> 00:21:49,073 BOUNTY, AND YOU HAD TWO HOURS TO CREATE CAKES WORTH GIVING THANKS FOR. 633 00:21:49,075 --> 00:21:50,408 CREATE CAKES WORTH GIVING THANKS FOR. AND AS AN EXTRA CHALLENGE, YOU 634 00:21:50,410 --> 00:21:51,776 FOR. AND AS AN EXTRA CHALLENGE, YOU HAD TO INCLUDE A MECHANICAL 635 00:21:51,778 --> 00:21:52,476 AND AS AN EXTRA CHALLENGE, YOU HAD TO INCLUDE A MECHANICAL ELEMENT TO BRING YOUR CAKE TO 636 00:21:52,478 --> 00:21:54,311 HAD TO INCLUDE A MECHANICAL ELEMENT TO BRING YOUR CAKE TO LIFE. 637 00:21:54,313 --> 00:21:55,780 ELEMENT TO BRING YOUR CAKE TO LIFE. FIRST UP IS HOME BAKER LEO. 638 00:21:55,782 --> 00:21:58,082 LIFE. FIRST UP IS HOME BAKER LEO. >> HI, JUDGES. 639 00:21:58,084 --> 00:21:58,749 FIRST UP IS HOME BAKER LEO. >> HI, JUDGES. I LOVE THANKSGIVING, AND I 640 00:21:58,751 --> 00:22:00,084 >> HI, JUDGES. I LOVE THANKSGIVING, AND I CORNA-HOPE-IA YOU LOVE MY CAKE. 641 00:22:00,086 --> 00:22:02,953 I LOVE THANKSGIVING, AND I CORNA-HOPE-IA YOU LOVE MY CAKE. [ LAUGHTER ] 642 00:22:02,955 --> 00:22:04,188 CORNA-HOPE-IA YOU LOVE MY CAKE. [ LAUGHTER ] >> YOU'RE ADORABLE. 643 00:22:04,190 --> 00:22:05,056 [ LAUGHTER ] >> YOU'RE ADORABLE. TELL US WHAT YOU'VE MADE. 644 00:22:05,058 --> 00:22:07,391 >> YOU'RE ADORABLE. TELL US WHAT YOU'VE MADE. >> WELL, MY CAKE HONORS THE MAN 645 00:22:07,393 --> 00:22:08,592 TELL US WHAT YOU'VE MADE. >> WELL, MY CAKE HONORS THE MAN WHO ORGANIZED THE FIRST 646 00:22:08,594 --> 00:22:09,026 >> WELL, MY CAKE HONORS THE MAN WHO ORGANIZED THE FIRST THANKSGIVING. 647 00:22:09,028 --> 00:22:10,528 WHO ORGANIZED THE FIRST THANKSGIVING. THE GOVERNOR OF PLYMOUTH, MR. 648 00:22:10,530 --> 00:22:11,395 THANKSGIVING. THE GOVERNOR OF PLYMOUTH, MR. WILLIAM BRADFORD. 649 00:22:11,397 --> 00:22:13,497 THE GOVERNOR OF PLYMOUTH, MR. WILLIAM BRADFORD. HE MAY BE A PURITAN, BUT THIS 650 00:22:13,499 --> 00:22:16,200 WILLIAM BRADFORD. HE MAY BE A PURITAN, BUT THIS CAKE IS PURE DELICIOUS. 651 00:22:16,202 --> 00:22:19,637 HE MAY BE A PURITAN, BUT THIS CAKE IS PURE DELICIOUS. THE TEMPERED CHOCOLATE HAT, 652 00:22:19,639 --> 00:22:23,140 CAKE IS PURE DELICIOUS. THE TEMPERED CHOCOLATE HAT, MARSHMALLOW BEARD, AND SWEETENED 653 00:22:23,142 --> 00:22:24,875 THE TEMPERED CHOCOLATE HAT, MARSHMALLOW BEARD, AND SWEETENED CORNMEAL OR SHOULD I SAY MAIZE 654 00:22:24,877 --> 00:22:25,176 MARSHMALLOW BEARD, AND SWEETENED CORNMEAL OR SHOULD I SAY MAIZE MEAL. 655 00:22:25,178 --> 00:22:26,677 CORNMEAL OR SHOULD I SAY MAIZE MEAL. >> WOW, ALL THAT IN TWO HOURS? 656 00:22:26,679 --> 00:22:27,878 MEAL. >> WOW, ALL THAT IN TWO HOURS? >> YES, SIR. 657 00:22:27,880 --> 00:22:28,345 >> WOW, ALL THAT IN TWO HOURS? >> YES, SIR. SOMEHOW, I DID. 658 00:22:28,347 --> 00:22:29,280 >> YES, SIR. SOMEHOW, I DID. >> ALL RIGHT, LET'S SEE IT. 659 00:22:29,282 --> 00:22:34,118 SOMEHOW, I DID. >> ALL RIGHT, LET'S SEE IT. >> OKAY. 660 00:22:34,120 --> 00:22:37,054 >> ALL RIGHT, LET'S SEE IT. >> OKAY. [ LAUGHTER ] 661 00:22:37,056 --> 00:22:39,857 >> OKAY. [ LAUGHTER ] I MESSED UP. 662 00:22:39,859 --> 00:22:42,159 [ LAUGHTER ] I MESSED UP. >> LEO, SWEETIE, WHAT HAPPENED? 663 00:22:42,161 --> 00:22:44,528 I MESSED UP. >> LEO, SWEETIE, WHAT HAPPENED? >> UM -- I THINK TIME GOT AWAY 664 00:22:44,530 --> 00:22:45,896 >> LEO, SWEETIE, WHAT HAPPENED? >> UM -- I THINK TIME GOT AWAY FROM ME, AND ALSO, I THINK I 665 00:22:45,898 --> 00:22:46,363 >> UM -- I THINK TIME GOT AWAY FROM ME, AND ALSO, I THINK I MIGHT BE STUPID. 666 00:22:46,365 --> 00:22:49,800 FROM ME, AND ALSO, I THINK I MIGHT BE STUPID. [ LAUGHTER ] 667 00:22:49,802 --> 00:22:51,435 MIGHT BE STUPID. [ LAUGHTER ] >> I GET THAT, YEAH. 668 00:22:51,437 --> 00:22:53,104 [ LAUGHTER ] >> I GET THAT, YEAH. IS THE POPCORN ON ITS HEAD 669 00:22:53,106 --> 00:22:54,438 >> I GET THAT, YEAH. IS THE POPCORN ON ITS HEAD SUPPOSED TO BE THE MAIZE? 670 00:22:54,440 --> 00:22:54,939 IS THE POPCORN ON ITS HEAD SUPPOSED TO BE THE MAIZE? >> I DON'T KNOW. 671 00:22:54,941 --> 00:22:55,606 SUPPOSED TO BE THE MAIZE? >> I DON'T KNOW. I DON'T KNOW WHAT MAIZE IS. 672 00:22:55,608 --> 00:22:57,842 >> I DON'T KNOW. I DON'T KNOW WHAT MAIZE IS. [ LAUGHTER ] 673 00:22:57,844 --> 00:22:59,243 I DON'T KNOW WHAT MAIZE IS. [ LAUGHTER ] >> OKAY, WHAT ABOUT YOUR 674 00:22:59,245 --> 00:22:59,810 [ LAUGHTER ] >> OKAY, WHAT ABOUT YOUR MECHANICAL ELEMENT? 675 00:22:59,812 --> 00:23:01,378 >> OKAY, WHAT ABOUT YOUR MECHANICAL ELEMENT? >> OH, OH, RIGHT, YEAH. 676 00:23:01,380 --> 00:23:02,113 MECHANICAL ELEMENT? >> OH, OH, RIGHT, YEAH. YOU GUYS, JUST LET ME TURN IT 677 00:23:02,115 --> 00:23:04,148 >> OH, OH, RIGHT, YEAH. YOU GUYS, JUST LET ME TURN IT ON. 678 00:23:04,150 --> 00:23:08,953 YOU GUYS, JUST LET ME TURN IT ON. [ LAUGHTER ] 679 00:23:08,955 --> 00:23:10,554 ON. [ LAUGHTER ] >> NOW, IS THAT WHAT YOU MEANT 680 00:23:10,556 --> 00:23:11,055 [ LAUGHTER ] >> NOW, IS THAT WHAT YOU MEANT TO HAPPEN? 681 00:23:11,057 --> 00:23:14,625 >> NOW, IS THAT WHAT YOU MEANT TO HAPPEN? >> I DON'T KNOW WHAT I MEANT. 682 00:23:14,627 --> 00:23:17,128 TO HAPPEN? >> I DON'T KNOW WHAT I MEANT. I'VE EMBARRASSED MYSELF AND MY 683 00:23:17,130 --> 00:23:17,628 >> I DON'T KNOW WHAT I MEANT. I'VE EMBARRASSED MYSELF AND MY WHOLE BRAND. 684 00:23:17,630 --> 00:23:18,195 I'VE EMBARRASSED MYSELF AND MY WHOLE BRAND. >> WHERE ARE YOU FROM? 685 00:23:18,197 --> 00:23:18,696 WHOLE BRAND. >> WHERE ARE YOU FROM? >> I'M FROM HERE. 686 00:23:18,698 --> 00:23:19,063 >> WHERE ARE YOU FROM? >> I'M FROM HERE. GOOD-BYE. 687 00:23:19,065 --> 00:23:20,998 >> I'M FROM HERE. GOOD-BYE. [ LAUGHTER ] 688 00:23:21,000 --> 00:23:22,700 GOOD-BYE. [ LAUGHTER ] >> OKAY, WELL, THAT'S TOO BAD. 689 00:23:22,702 --> 00:23:24,335 [ LAUGHTER ] >> OKAY, WELL, THAT'S TOO BAD. NEXT UP, FROM ACROSS THE POND, 690 00:23:24,337 --> 00:23:25,002 >> OKAY, WELL, THAT'S TOO BAD. NEXT UP, FROM ACROSS THE POND, LET'S SAY HI TO JULIANNA. 691 00:23:25,004 --> 00:23:28,305 NEXT UP, FROM ACROSS THE POND, LET'S SAY HI TO JULIANNA. >> HELLO. 692 00:23:28,307 --> 00:23:30,541 LET'S SAY HI TO JULIANNA. >> HELLO. FIRST OF ALL, PUMPED TO BE HERE. 693 00:23:30,543 --> 00:23:32,977 >> HELLO. FIRST OF ALL, PUMPED TO BE HERE. AND SECONDLY, WE BRITS, WE DON'T 694 00:23:32,979 --> 00:23:33,644 FIRST OF ALL, PUMPED TO BE HERE. AND SECONDLY, WE BRITS, WE DON'T HAVE THANKSGIVING. 695 00:23:33,646 --> 00:23:36,046 AND SECONDLY, WE BRITS, WE DON'T HAVE THANKSGIVING. SO THIS MAY GET A BIT HAIRY. 696 00:23:36,048 --> 00:23:37,681 HAVE THANKSGIVING. SO THIS MAY GET A BIT HAIRY. >> WELL, WHY DON'T YOU TELL US 697 00:23:37,683 --> 00:23:38,916 SO THIS MAY GET A BIT HAIRY. >> WELL, WHY DON'T YOU TELL US WHAT YOU MADE? 698 00:23:38,918 --> 00:23:40,818 >> WELL, WHY DON'T YOU TELL US WHAT YOU MADE? >> WITH PLEASURE. 699 00:23:40,820 --> 00:23:41,886 WHAT YOU MADE? >> WITH PLEASURE. BASICALLY, MADE THE FIRST THING 700 00:23:41,888 --> 00:23:48,859 >> WITH PLEASURE. BASICALLY, MADE THE FIRST THING I THOUGHT OF, WHICH IS TURKEY. 701 00:23:48,861 --> 00:23:50,060 BASICALLY, MADE THE FIRST THING I THOUGHT OF, WHICH IS TURKEY. SO THIS HANDSOME BOY, THE 702 00:23:50,062 --> 00:23:54,799 I THOUGHT OF, WHICH IS TURKEY. SO THIS HANDSOME BOY, THE HAZELNUT FONDANT DRESSED WITH 703 00:23:54,801 --> 00:23:58,903 SO THIS HANDSOME BOY, THE HAZELNUT FONDANT DRESSED WITH IRIDESCENT ICING, HIS WATTLE 704 00:23:58,905 --> 00:23:59,837 HAZELNUT FONDANT DRESSED WITH IRIDESCENT ICING, HIS WATTLE MADE FROM STICKY COFFEE. 705 00:23:59,839 --> 00:24:00,504 IRIDESCENT ICING, HIS WATTLE MADE FROM STICKY COFFEE. GOBBLE, GOBBLE, AM I RIGHT? 706 00:24:00,506 --> 00:24:00,838 MADE FROM STICKY COFFEE. GOBBLE, GOBBLE, AM I RIGHT? >> WOW. 707 00:24:00,840 --> 00:24:01,405 GOBBLE, GOBBLE, AM I RIGHT? >> WOW. THAT SOUNDS AMAZING. 708 00:24:01,407 --> 00:24:02,072 >> WOW. THAT SOUNDS AMAZING. >> IT DOES SOUND LIKE THAT, 709 00:24:02,074 --> 00:24:02,673 THAT SOUNDS AMAZING. >> IT DOES SOUND LIKE THAT, DOESN'T IT? 710 00:24:02,675 --> 00:24:03,073 >> IT DOES SOUND LIKE THAT, DOESN'T IT? [ LAUGHTER ] 711 00:24:03,075 --> 00:24:03,674 DOESN'T IT? [ LAUGHTER ] >> WELL, LET'S SEE IT. 712 00:24:03,676 --> 00:24:05,943 [ LAUGHTER ] >> WELL, LET'S SEE IT. >> ALL RIGHT. 713 00:24:05,945 --> 00:24:09,180 >> WELL, LET'S SEE IT. >> ALL RIGHT. TA-DA! 714 00:24:09,182 --> 00:24:14,318 >> ALL RIGHT. TA-DA! [ LAUGHTER AND MOANS ] 715 00:24:14,320 --> 00:24:14,885 TA-DA! [ LAUGHTER AND MOANS ] >> WOW. 716 00:24:14,887 --> 00:24:16,687 [ LAUGHTER AND MOANS ] >> WOW. THAT'S NOT WHAT YOU DESCRIBED AT 717 00:24:16,689 --> 00:24:16,954 >> WOW. THAT'S NOT WHAT YOU DESCRIBED AT ALL. 718 00:24:16,956 --> 00:24:20,691 THAT'S NOT WHAT YOU DESCRIBED AT ALL. >> YEAH, IT'S BAD. 719 00:24:20,693 --> 00:24:23,427 ALL. >> YEAH, IT'S BAD. >> CAN WE SEE YOUR ANIMATED 720 00:24:23,429 --> 00:24:23,761 >> YEAH, IT'S BAD. >> CAN WE SEE YOUR ANIMATED ELEMENT? 721 00:24:23,763 --> 00:24:25,429 >> CAN WE SEE YOUR ANIMATED ELEMENT? >> MM, NOT SURE YOU WANT TO SEE. 722 00:24:25,431 --> 00:24:30,534 ELEMENT? >> MM, NOT SURE YOU WANT TO SEE. [ LAUGHTER ] 723 00:24:30,536 --> 00:24:32,636 >> MM, NOT SURE YOU WANT TO SEE. [ LAUGHTER ] >> OH -- OH MY -- CAN WE SW 724 00:24:32,638 --> 00:24:34,505 [ LAUGHTER ] >> OH -- OH MY -- CAN WE SW THIS ON TV? 725 00:24:34,507 --> 00:24:38,008 >> OH -- OH MY -- CAN WE SW THIS ON TV? >> DON'T ASK ME, I'M JUST THE 726 00:24:38,010 --> 00:24:38,409 THIS ON TV? >> DON'T ASK ME, I'M JUST THE CAKE MAKER. 727 00:24:38,411 --> 00:24:39,143 >> DON'T ASK ME, I'M JUST THE CAKE MAKER. >> OKAY, WELL LET'S GO AHEAD AND 728 00:24:39,145 --> 00:24:42,079 CAKE MAKER. >> OKAY, WELL LET'S GO AHEAD AND TASTE YOUR CAKE. 729 00:24:42,081 --> 00:24:45,583 >> OKAY, WELL LET'S GO AHEAD AND TASTE YOUR CAKE. >> OH, OH, OH, IS THAT ACTUAL 730 00:24:45,585 --> 00:24:46,250 TASTE YOUR CAKE. >> OH, OH, OH, IS THAT ACTUAL TURKEY MEAT? 731 00:24:46,252 --> 00:24:47,017 >> OH, OH, OH, IS THAT ACTUAL TURKEY MEAT? >> IT MIGHT BE YES, SORRY ABOUT 732 00:24:47,019 --> 00:24:47,318 TURKEY MEAT? >> IT MIGHT BE YES, SORRY ABOUT THAT. 733 00:24:47,320 --> 00:24:50,454 >> IT MIGHT BE YES, SORRY ABOUT THAT. [ LAUGHTER ] 734 00:24:50,456 --> 00:24:52,189 THAT. [ LAUGHTER ] >> OH, MY GOD, WHAT IS YOUR CAKE 735 00:24:52,191 --> 00:24:53,424 [ LAUGHTER ] >> OH, MY GOD, WHAT IS YOUR CAKE DOING NOW? 736 00:24:53,426 --> 00:24:56,427 >> OH, MY GOD, WHAT IS YOUR CAKE DOING NOW? >> OH, THAT'S THE STUFFING. 737 00:24:56,429 --> 00:24:56,827 DOING NOW? >> OH, THAT'S THE STUFFING. [ LAUGHTER ] 738 00:24:56,829 --> 00:24:57,528 >> OH, THAT'S THE STUFFING. [ LAUGHTER ] I THINK ITS BODY IS REJECTING 739 00:24:57,530 --> 00:25:02,099 [ LAUGHTER ] I THINK ITS BODY IS REJECTING IT. 740 00:25:02,101 --> 00:25:02,499 I THINK ITS BODY IS REJECTING IT. [ LAUGHTER ] 741 00:25:02,501 --> 00:25:07,972 IT. [ LAUGHTER ] >> DEAR GOD. 742 00:25:07,974 --> 00:25:09,006 [ LAUGHTER ] >> DEAR GOD. LET'S GO TO SANDY. 743 00:25:09,008 --> 00:25:10,207 >> DEAR GOD. LET'S GO TO SANDY. >> HELLO, JUDGES. 744 00:25:10,209 --> 00:25:12,276 LET'S GO TO SANDY. >> HELLO, JUDGES. I HATE TO TOOT MY OWN CAKE, BUT 745 00:25:12,278 --> 00:25:13,010 >> HELLO, JUDGES. I HATE TO TOOT MY OWN CAKE, BUT I THINK WHAT I DID TODAY IS A 746 00:25:13,012 --> 00:25:23,520 I HATE TO TOOT MY OWN CAKE, BUT I THINK WHAT I DID TODAY IS A THANKSGIVING FEAST FOR THE EYES. 747 00:25:23,522 --> 00:25:24,455 I THINK WHAT I DID TODAY IS A THANKSGIVING FEAST FOR THE EYES. >> OKAY. 748 00:25:24,457 --> 00:25:24,989 THANKSGIVING FEAST FOR THE EYES. >> OKAY. >> NEXT UP IS RALPH. 749 00:25:24,991 --> 00:25:26,857 >> OKAY. >> NEXT UP IS RALPH. [ LAUGHTER ] 750 00:25:26,859 --> 00:25:27,191 >> NEXT UP IS RALPH. [ LAUGHTER ] >> WHAT? 751 00:25:27,193 --> 00:25:27,558 [ LAUGHTER ] >> WHAT? THAT'S IT? 752 00:25:27,560 --> 00:25:29,326 >> WHAT? THAT'S IT? WHY? 753 00:25:29,328 --> 00:25:29,994 THAT'S IT? WHY? >> YOU JUST WANT IT TOO BAD. 754 00:25:29,996 --> 00:25:32,129 WHY? >> YOU JUST WANT IT TOO BAD. [ LAUGHTER ] 755 00:25:32,131 --> 00:25:33,564 >> YOU JUST WANT IT TOO BAD. [ LAUGHTER ] >> WELL, IT'S A LOT BETTER THAN 756 00:25:33,566 --> 00:25:34,231 [ LAUGHTER ] >> WELL, IT'S A LOT BETTER THAN HER CAKE, WHICH IS RUINING 757 00:25:34,233 --> 00:25:34,899 >> WELL, IT'S A LOT BETTER THAN HER CAKE, WHICH IS RUINING THANKSGIVING. 758 00:25:34,901 --> 00:25:41,672 HER CAKE, WHICH IS RUINING THANKSGIVING. OKAY? 759 00:25:41,674 --> 00:25:42,406 THANKSGIVING. OKAY? OH, MY GOD, IT JUST RETCHED AT 760 00:25:42,408 --> 00:25:44,441 OKAY? OH, MY GOD, IT JUST RETCHED AT ME. 761 00:25:44,443 --> 00:25:46,410 OH, MY GOD, IT JUST RETCHED AT ME. >> SANDY, THAT'S ON YOU. 762 00:25:46,412 --> 00:25:50,014 ME. >> SANDY, THAT'S ON YOU. FINALLY, WE GO TO RALPH. 763 00:25:50,016 --> 00:25:51,682 >> SANDY, THAT'S ON YOU. FINALLY, WE GO TO RALPH. >> WE'VE HAD A LOT OF FUN HERE 764 00:25:51,684 --> 00:25:52,716 FINALLY, WE GO TO RALPH. >> WE'VE HAD A LOT OF FUN HERE TODAY, AND THANKSGIVING IS FUN. 765 00:25:52,718 --> 00:25:53,951 >> WE'VE HAD A LOT OF FUN HERE TODAY, AND THANKSGIVING IS FUN. IT'S ALSO A TIME FOR CONNECTION 766 00:25:53,953 --> 00:25:54,652 TODAY, AND THANKSGIVING IS FUN. IT'S ALSO A TIME FOR CONNECTION WITH FAMILY. 767 00:25:54,654 --> 00:25:56,654 IT'S ALSO A TIME FOR CONNECTION WITH FAMILY. A FAMILY THAT MIGHT NOT ALWAYS 768 00:25:56,656 --> 00:25:58,088 WITH FAMILY. A FAMILY THAT MIGHT NOT ALWAYS SEE EYE TO EYE. 769 00:25:58,090 --> 00:25:59,990 A FAMILY THAT MIGHT NOT ALWAYS SEE EYE TO EYE. WITH A LITTLE LUCK AND PATIENCE, 770 00:25:59,992 --> 00:26:02,493 SEE EYE TO EYE. WITH A LITTLE LUCK AND PATIENCE, WE MIGHT JUST BE ABLE TO SEE 771 00:26:02,495 --> 00:26:02,960 WITH A LITTLE LUCK AND PATIENCE, WE MIGHT JUST BE ABLE TO SEE HEART TO HEART. 772 00:26:02,962 --> 00:26:03,560 WE MIGHT JUST BE ABLE TO SEE HEART TO HEART. THAT'S WHY I MADE THIS. 773 00:26:03,562 --> 00:26:09,199 HEART TO HEART. THAT'S WHY I MADE THIS. [ LAUGHTER ] 774 00:26:09,201 --> 00:26:09,967 THAT'S WHY I MADE THIS. [ LAUGHTER ] >> AND YOU USED DARK CHOCOLATE? 775 00:26:09,969 --> 00:26:13,437 [ LAUGHTER ] >> AND YOU USED DARK CHOCOLATE? >> YES, MA'AM. 776 00:26:13,439 --> 00:26:16,206 >> AND YOU USED DARK CHOCOLATE? >> YES, MA'AM. AND THE TURKEY IS A NINE-INCH 777 00:26:16,208 --> 00:26:16,573 >> YES, MA'AM. AND THE TURKEY IS A NINE-INCH DILDO. 778 00:26:16,575 --> 00:26:16,974 AND THE TURKEY IS A NINE-INCH DILDO. [ LAUGHTER ] 779 00:26:16,976 --> 00:26:17,441 DILDO. [ LAUGHTER ] >> WOW. 780 00:26:17,443 --> 00:26:19,510 [ LAUGHTER ] >> WOW. WE HAVE A TOUGH DECISION TO 781 00:26:19,512 --> 00:26:19,910 >> WOW. WE HAVE A TOUGH DECISION TO MAKE, YEAH? 782 00:26:19,912 --> 00:26:20,244 WE HAVE A TOUGH DECISION TO MAKE, YEAH? >> HOW? 783 00:26:20,246 --> 00:26:25,849 MAKE, YEAH? >> HOW? [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 784 00:26:34,059 --> 00:26:37,194 ¶ THERE IS SOMETHING ON MY MIND FOR A LONG TIME ¶ ¶ A SPECIAL PASSION OF MINE I DO 785 00:26:37,196 --> 00:26:39,196 FOR A LONG TIME ¶ ¶ A SPECIAL PASSION OF MINE I DO IT EVERY CHANCE THAT I FIND ¶ 786 00:26:39,198 --> 00:26:40,931 ¶ A SPECIAL PASSION OF MINE I DO IT EVERY CHANCE THAT I FIND ¶ ¶ SO NEXT TIME YOU WALK PAST AND 787 00:26:40,933 --> 00:26:42,733 IT EVERY CHANCE THAT I FIND ¶ ¶ SO NEXT TIME YOU WALK PAST AND THROW AWAY YOUR TRASH ¶ 788 00:26:42,735 --> 00:26:44,969 ¶ SO NEXT TIME YOU WALK PAST AND THROW AWAY YOUR TRASH ¶ ¶ I'LL PICK UP THE PHONE AND 789 00:26:44,971 --> 00:26:50,708 THROW AWAY YOUR TRASH ¶ ¶ I'LL PICK UP THE PHONE AND THEN DO WHAT I DO BEST ¶ 790 00:26:50,710 --> 00:26:51,942 ¶ I'LL PICK UP THE PHONE AND THEN DO WHAT I DO BEST ¶ ¶ NOW HERE I GO I'MA REPORT YOU 791 00:26:51,944 --> 00:26:59,984 THEN DO WHAT I DO BEST ¶ ¶ NOW HERE I GO I'MA REPORT YOU TO THE COPS ¶ 792 00:26:59,986 --> 00:27:00,451 ¶ NOW HERE I GO I'MA REPORT YOU TO THE COPS ¶ ¶ HERE I GO 793 00:27:00,453 --> 00:27:03,187 TO THE COPS ¶ ¶ HERE I GO I'MA REPORT YOU TO THE COPS ¶ 794 00:27:03,189 --> 00:27:03,988 ¶ HERE I GO I'MA REPORT YOU TO THE COPS ¶ ¶ AND ALL MY NEIGHBORS THINK I'M 795 00:27:03,990 --> 00:27:05,956 I'MA REPORT YOU TO THE COPS ¶ ¶ AND ALL MY NEIGHBORS THINK I'M RIGHT ¶ 796 00:27:05,958 --> 00:27:07,458 ¶ AND ALL MY NEIGHBORS THINK I'M RIGHT ¶ ¶ I'VE BEEN ITCHING TO DO SOME 797 00:27:07,460 --> 00:27:11,929 RIGHT ¶ ¶ I'VE BEEN ITCHING TO DO SOME SNITCHING ¶ 798 00:27:11,931 --> 00:27:14,631 ¶ I'VE BEEN ITCHING TO DO SOME SNITCHING ¶ ¶ IN MY KITCHEN IT'S MY 799 00:27:14,633 --> 00:27:15,065 SNITCHING ¶ ¶ IN MY KITCHEN IT'S MY CONDITION ¶ 800 00:27:15,067 --> 00:27:16,066 ¶ IN MY KITCHEN IT'S MY CONDITION ¶ ¶ PICKING UP THAT PHONE ¶ 801 00:27:16,068 --> 00:27:18,068 CONDITION ¶ ¶ PICKING UP THAT PHONE ¶ ¶ AND I KNOW YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED 802 00:27:18,070 --> 00:27:20,804 ¶ PICKING UP THAT PHONE ¶ ¶ AND I KNOW YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO DO THIS ANYMORE ¶ 803 00:27:20,806 --> 00:27:23,340 ¶ AND I KNOW YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO DO THIS ANYMORE ¶ ¶ BUT DOES IT HELP TO KNOW THAT 804 00:27:23,342 --> 00:27:26,310 TO DO THIS ANYMORE ¶ ¶ BUT DOES IT HELP TO KNOW THAT WHO I SNITCHED ON WAS WHITE ¶ 805 00:27:26,312 --> 00:27:28,078 ¶ BUT DOES IT HELP TO KNOW THAT WHO I SNITCHED ON WAS WHITE ¶ ¶ WE CAN ALL RELAX AND ENJOY 806 00:27:28,080 --> 00:27:34,151 WHO I SNITCHED ON WAS WHITE ¶ ¶ WE CAN ALL RELAX AND ENJOY THIS INCREDIBLE SONG ¶ 807 00:27:34,153 --> 00:27:35,085 ¶ WE CAN ALL RELAX AND ENJOY THIS INCREDIBLE SONG ¶ ¶ ABOUT CAUSING THE PIGS TO 808 00:27:35,087 --> 00:27:36,220 THIS INCREDIBLE SONG ¶ ¶ ABOUT CAUSING THE PIGS TO [ BLEEP ] ¶ 809 00:27:36,222 --> 00:27:37,021 ¶ ABOUT CAUSING THE PIGS TO [ BLEEP ] ¶ ¶ HAVING THE CAKE AND EATING IT 810 00:27:37,023 --> 00:27:37,354 [ BLEEP ] ¶ ¶ HAVING THE CAKE AND EATING IT TOO ¶ 811 00:27:37,356 --> 00:27:38,122 ¶ HAVING THE CAKE AND EATING IT TOO ¶ ¶ I BAKED THE CAKE AND ATE THE 812 00:27:38,124 --> 00:27:39,690 TOO ¶ ¶ I BAKED THE CAKE AND ATE THE CAKE ¶ 813 00:27:39,692 --> 00:27:41,191 ¶ I BAKED THE CAKE AND ATE THE CAKE ¶ ¶ HELL, YEAH HELL, YEAH HELL, 814 00:27:41,193 --> 00:27:46,163 CAKE ¶ ¶ HELL, YEAH HELL, YEAH HELL, YEAH HELL, YEAH ¶ 815 00:27:46,165 --> 00:27:47,698 ¶ HELL, YEAH HELL, YEAH HELL, YEAH HELL, YEAH ¶ ¶ NOW HERE I GO 816 00:27:47,700 --> 00:27:50,467 YEAH HELL, YEAH ¶ ¶ NOW HERE I GO I'MA REPORT YOU TO THE COPS ¶ 817 00:27:50,469 --> 00:27:54,204 ¶ NOW HERE I GO I'MA REPORT YOU TO THE COPS ¶ ¶ THEY'RE ALL WHITE ¶ 818 00:27:54,206 --> 00:27:55,472 I'MA REPORT YOU TO THE COPS ¶ ¶ THEY'RE ALL WHITE ¶ ¶ HERE I GO 819 00:27:55,474 --> 00:27:58,442 ¶ THEY'RE ALL WHITE ¶ ¶ HERE I GO I'MA REPORT YOU TO THE COPS ¶ 820 00:27:58,444 --> 00:27:59,176 ¶ HERE I GO I'MA REPORT YOU TO THE COPS ¶ ¶ GONNA SLEEP LIKE A BABY 821 00:27:59,178 --> 00:27:59,943 I'MA REPORT YOU TO THE COPS ¶ ¶ GONNA SLEEP LIKE A BABY TONIGHT NOW MAKE WAY FOR MY 822 00:27:59,945 --> 00:28:01,445 ¶ GONNA SLEEP LIKE A BABY TONIGHT NOW MAKE WAY FOR MY WIFE ¶ 823 00:28:01,447 --> 00:28:05,482 TONIGHT NOW MAKE WAY FOR MY WIFE ¶ ¶ NOW HOLD UP WAIT A MINUTE 824 00:28:05,484 --> 00:28:06,216 WIFE ¶ ¶ NOW HOLD UP WAIT A MINUTE 'CAUSE I'M GONNA CALL ¶ 825 00:28:06,218 --> 00:28:07,184 ¶ NOW HOLD UP WAIT A MINUTE 'CAUSE I'M GONNA CALL ¶ ¶ THEY'RE GONNA ROLL UP ANY 826 00:28:07,186 --> 00:28:10,387 'CAUSE I'M GONNA CALL ¶ ¶ THEY'RE GONNA ROLL UP ANY MINUTE ¶ 827 00:28:10,389 --> 00:28:13,824 ¶ THEY'RE GONNA ROLL UP ANY MINUTE ¶ ¶ I PAY MY [ BLEEP ] TAXES ¶ 828 00:28:13,826 --> 00:28:15,059 MINUTE ¶ ¶ I PAY MY [ BLEEP ] TAXES ¶ ¶ THEY CAN ONLY MAKE ME FEEL 829 00:28:15,061 --> 00:28:18,595 ¶ I PAY MY [ BLEEP ] TAXES ¶ ¶ THEY CAN ONLY MAKE ME FEEL GIDDY ¶ 830 00:28:18,597 --> 00:28:21,265 ¶ THEY CAN ONLY MAKE ME FEEL GIDDY ¶ ¶ PULL UP WITHIN TWO CENTIMETERS 831 00:28:21,267 --> 00:28:25,903 GIDDY ¶ ¶ PULL UP WITHIN TWO CENTIMETERS OF MY DRIVEWAY BITCH ¶ 832 00:28:25,905 --> 00:28:27,137 ¶ PULL UP WITHIN TWO CENTIMETERS OF MY DRIVEWAY BITCH ¶ ¶ WE HAVE NO ONE LIKE YOU TO 833 00:28:27,139 --> 00:28:30,541 OF MY DRIVEWAY BITCH ¶ ¶ WE HAVE NO ONE LIKE YOU TO SHOW UP THE WAY WE DO ¶ 834 00:28:30,543 --> 00:28:33,544 ¶ WE HAVE NO ONE LIKE YOU TO SHOW UP THE WAY WE DO ¶ ¶ WHEN I GET MY BINOCULARS ON 835 00:28:33,546 --> 00:28:35,079 SHOW UP THE WAY WE DO ¶ ¶ WHEN I GET MY BINOCULARS ON THE FRONT LAWN I SAW YOU 836 00:28:35,081 --> 00:28:36,547 ¶ WHEN I GET MY BINOCULARS ON THE FRONT LAWN I SAW YOU LOOKING ¶ 837 00:28:36,549 --> 00:28:41,085 THE FRONT LAWN I SAW YOU LOOKING ¶ ¶ HAVE FUN AT CENTRAL BOOKING ¶ 838 00:28:41,087 --> 00:28:41,819 LOOKING ¶ ¶ HAVE FUN AT CENTRAL BOOKING ¶ ¶ NOW HERE I GO 839 00:28:41,821 --> 00:28:43,087 ¶ HAVE FUN AT CENTRAL BOOKING ¶ ¶ NOW HERE I GO I'M REPORTING YOU TO THE COPS ¶ 840 00:28:43,089 --> 00:28:43,821 ¶ NOW HERE I GO I'M REPORTING YOU TO THE COPS ¶ ¶ THE COP YEAH THE COP THE 841 00:28:43,823 --> 00:28:48,459 I'M REPORTING YOU TO THE COPS ¶ ¶ THE COP YEAH THE COP THE COPITY COP ¶ 842 00:28:48,461 --> 00:28:49,059 ¶ THE COP YEAH THE COP THE COPITY COP ¶ ¶ THE COPITY COP ¶ 843 00:28:49,061 --> 00:28:50,327 COPITY COP ¶ ¶ THE COPITY COP ¶ ¶ THEN I WALK OUTSIDE LIKE 844 00:28:50,329 --> 00:28:53,697 ¶ THE COPITY COP ¶ ¶ THEN I WALK OUTSIDE LIKE WHAT'S GOING ON ¶ 845 00:28:53,699 --> 00:28:54,498 ¶ THEN I WALK OUTSIDE LIKE WHAT'S GOING ON ¶ ¶ EVERYONE'S GONNA KNOW IT WAS 846 00:28:54,500 --> 00:28:55,699 WHAT'S GOING ON ¶ ¶ EVERYONE'S GONNA KNOW IT WAS ME ¶ 847 00:28:55,701 --> 00:28:56,700 ¶ EVERYONE'S GONNA KNOW IT WAS ME ¶ ¶ BUT THEY CAN'T SAY [ BLEEP ] 848 00:28:56,702 --> 00:28:57,434 ME ¶ ¶ BUT THEY CAN'T SAY [ BLEEP ] BECAUSE I REPORTED IT 849 00:28:57,436 --> 00:29:00,204 ¶ BUT THEY CAN'T SAY [ BLEEP ] BECAUSE I REPORTED IT ANONYMOUSLY ¶ 850 00:29:00,206 --> 00:29:00,938 BECAUSE I REPORTED IT ANONYMOUSLY ¶ ¶ HERE I GO 851 00:29:00,940 --> 00:29:02,172 ANONYMOUSLY ¶ ¶ HERE I GO I'M REPORTING YOU TO THE COPS ¶ 852 00:29:02,174 --> 00:29:02,940 ¶ HERE I GO I'M REPORTING YOU TO THE COPS ¶ ¶ BUT YOU BETTER BELIEVE I'LL 853 00:29:02,942 --> 00:29:03,941 I'M REPORTING YOU TO THE COPS ¶ ¶ BUT YOU BETTER BELIEVE I'LL SHOW UP FOR THAT COURT DATE 854 00:29:03,943 --> 00:29:06,710 ¶ BUT YOU BETTER BELIEVE I'LL SHOW UP FOR THAT COURT DATE YEAH ¶ 855 00:29:06,712 --> 00:29:13,183 SHOW UP FOR THAT COURT DATE YEAH ¶ ¶ HERE I GO ¶ 856 00:29:13,185 --> 00:29:15,786 YEAH ¶ ¶ HERE I GO ¶ ¶ HELL YA ¶ 857 00:29:15,788 --> 00:29:25,562 ¶ HERE I GO ¶ ¶ HELL YA ¶ [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 858 00:29:25,564 --> 00:29:26,330 ¶ HELL YA ¶ [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] >>> RACKED READY RIZZED, IT'S 859 00:29:26,332 --> 00:29:28,999 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] >>> RACKED READY RIZZED, IT'S BANGER BOYZ. 860 00:29:29,001 --> 00:29:30,400 >>> RACKED READY RIZZED, IT'S BANGER BOYZ. >> WHAT IS UP, EVERYBODY? 861 00:29:30,402 --> 00:29:32,769 BANGER BOYZ. >> WHAT IS UP, EVERYBODY? WELCOME TO BANGER BOYZ, THE 862 00:29:32,771 --> 00:29:33,470 >> WHAT IS UP, EVERYBODY? WELCOME TO BANGER BOYZ, THE PODCAST THAT GOES HARD EVERY 863 00:29:33,472 --> 00:29:34,071 WELCOME TO BANGER BOYZ, THE PODCAST THAT GOES HARD EVERY SINGLE WEEK. 864 00:29:34,073 --> 00:29:34,571 PODCAST THAT GOES HARD EVERY SINGLE WEEK. I'M MARK. 865 00:29:34,573 --> 00:29:35,839 SINGLE WEEK. I'M MARK. THAT'S DUGIN AND P.J. 866 00:29:35,841 --> 00:29:38,809 I'M MARK. THAT'S DUGIN AND P.J. HEY, GUYS. 867 00:29:38,811 --> 00:29:40,811 THAT'S DUGIN AND P.J. HEY, GUYS. PLUS OVER HERE OUR PRODUCER 868 00:29:40,813 --> 00:29:41,111 HEY, GUYS. PLUS OVER HERE OUR PRODUCER CARA. 869 00:29:41,113 --> 00:29:41,445 PLUS OVER HERE OUR PRODUCER CARA. >> HEY. 870 00:29:41,447 --> 00:29:43,213 CARA. >> HEY. >> SO GUYS, WE GOT A LOT TO 871 00:29:43,215 --> 00:29:44,214 >> HEY. >> SO GUYS, WE GOT A LOT TO COVER TODAY. 872 00:29:44,216 --> 00:29:45,749 >> SO GUYS, WE GOT A LOT TO COVER TODAY. DUGIN'S GOT A HILARIOUS STORY 873 00:29:45,751 --> 00:29:47,851 COVER TODAY. DUGIN'S GOT A HILARIOUS STORY ABOUT GETTING HIS SAC PUNCHED BY 874 00:29:47,853 --> 00:29:50,787 DUGIN'S GOT A HILARIOUS STORY ABOUT GETTING HIS SAC PUNCHED BY AN INSTA BADDIE. 875 00:29:50,789 --> 00:29:51,822 ABOUT GETTING HIS SAC PUNCHED BY AN INSTA BADDIE. >> YEAH! 876 00:29:51,824 --> 00:29:53,157 AN INSTA BADDIE. >> YEAH! >> THEN WE'LL DISCUSS HOW THEY 877 00:29:53,159 --> 00:29:54,658 >> YEAH! >> THEN WE'LL DISCUSS HOW THEY BUILT THE PYRAMIDS. 878 00:29:54,660 --> 00:29:55,459 >> THEN WE'LL DISCUSS HOW THEY BUILT THE PYRAMIDS. [ LAUGHTER ] 879 00:29:55,461 --> 00:29:56,927 BUILT THE PYRAMIDS. [ LAUGHTER ] FIRST, HOW ABOUT OUR MAN TRUMP, 880 00:29:56,929 --> 00:29:57,194 [ LAUGHTER ] FIRST, HOW ABOUT OUR MAN TRUMP, HUH? 881 00:29:57,196 --> 00:29:58,962 FIRST, HOW ABOUT OUR MAN TRUMP, HUH? >> OH, DUDE, HE'S AWESOME. 882 00:29:58,964 --> 00:30:00,631 HUH? >> OH, DUDE, HE'S AWESOME. >> I CAN'T BELIEVE HE WAS ON OUR 883 00:30:00,633 --> 00:30:03,066 >> OH, DUDE, HE'S AWESOME. >> I CAN'T BELIEVE HE WAS ON OUR PAD CAST LIKE TWO WEEKS AGO. 884 00:30:03,068 --> 00:30:04,935 >> I CAN'T BELIEVE HE WAS ON OUR PAD CAST LIKE TWO WEEKS AGO. >> I DON'T WANT TO JINX IT BUT I 885 00:30:04,937 --> 00:30:06,203 PAD CAST LIKE TWO WEEKS AGO. >> I DON'T WANT TO JINX IT BUT I FEEL TRUMP COULD ACTUALLY WIN 886 00:30:06,205 --> 00:30:06,637 >> I DON'T WANT TO JINX IT BUT I FEEL TRUMP COULD ACTUALLY WIN THIS THING. 887 00:30:06,639 --> 00:30:07,371 FEEL TRUMP COULD ACTUALLY WIN THIS THING. >> DUGIN. 888 00:30:07,373 --> 00:30:07,771 THIS THING. >> DUGIN. HE DID WIN. 889 00:30:07,773 --> 00:30:09,873 >> DUGIN. HE DID WIN. [ LAUGHTER ] 890 00:30:09,875 --> 00:30:10,974 HE DID WIN. [ LAUGHTER ] ELECTION WAS LAST TUESDAY, BUD. 891 00:30:10,976 --> 00:30:12,409 [ LAUGHTER ] ELECTION WAS LAST TUESDAY, BUD. >> HE WON? 892 00:30:12,411 --> 00:30:14,478 ELECTION WAS LAST TUESDAY, BUD. >> HE WON? OH, BRO, THAT'S SO SICK, DUDE! 893 00:30:14,480 --> 00:30:16,146 >> HE WON? OH, BRO, THAT'S SO SICK, DUDE! >> YEAH, IT IS, DUDE. 894 00:30:16,148 --> 00:30:18,182 OH, BRO, THAT'S SO SICK, DUDE! >> YEAH, IT IS, DUDE. BEFORE WE GET INTO ALL THAT, 895 00:30:18,184 --> 00:30:18,982 >> YEAH, IT IS, DUDE. BEFORE WE GET INTO ALL THAT, LET'S HEAR FROM THE SPONSORS, 896 00:30:18,984 --> 00:30:22,085 BEFORE WE GET INTO ALL THAT, LET'S HEAR FROM THE SPONSORS, CARA. 897 00:30:22,087 --> 00:30:22,819 LET'S HEAR FROM THE SPONSORS, CARA. >> BANGER BOYZ IS BROUGHT TO YOU 898 00:30:22,821 --> 00:30:23,587 CARA. >> BANGER BOYZ IS BROUGHT TO YOU BY CARGO CONDOMS, THE ONLY 899 00:30:23,589 --> 00:30:24,288 >> BANGER BOYZ IS BROUGHT TO YOU BY CARGO CONDOMS, THE ONLY CARGOS WITH POCKETS. 900 00:30:24,290 --> 00:30:32,329 BY CARGO CONDOMS, THE ONLY CARGOS WITH POCKETS. CARGO CONDOMS. 901 00:30:32,331 --> 00:30:33,330 CARGOS WITH POCKETS. CARGO CONDOMS. AND ZYN JUNIOR, NICOTINE PATCHES 902 00:30:33,332 --> 00:30:34,031 CARGO CONDOMS. AND ZYN JUNIOR, NICOTINE PATCHES FOR KIDS, CHERRY FLAVORS, ZYN 903 00:30:34,033 --> 00:30:35,566 AND ZYN JUNIOR, NICOTINE PATCHES FOR KIDS, CHERRY FLAVORS, ZYN JUNIOR. 904 00:30:35,568 --> 00:30:38,669 FOR KIDS, CHERRY FLAVORS, ZYN JUNIOR. >> SICK. 905 00:30:38,671 --> 00:30:40,437 JUNIOR. >> SICK. SO YEAH, TRUMP'S PRESIDENT NOW, 906 00:30:40,439 --> 00:30:42,206 >> SICK. SO YEAH, TRUMP'S PRESIDENT NOW, AND HE LIKE SAID BEING ON 907 00:30:42,208 --> 00:30:44,408 SO YEAH, TRUMP'S PRESIDENT NOW, AND HE LIKE SAID BEING ON "BANGER BOYZ" HELPED HIM WITH 908 00:30:44,410 --> 00:30:45,142 AND HE LIKE SAID BEING ON "BANGER BOYZ" HELPED HIM WITH YOUNG VOTERS. 909 00:30:45,144 --> 00:30:47,244 "BANGER BOYZ" HELPED HIM WITH YOUNG VOTERS. >> THAT IS SO SICK, DUDE. 910 00:30:47,246 --> 00:30:48,145 YOUNG VOTERS. >> THAT IS SO SICK, DUDE. >> WE GOT TO HANG WITH HIM, THAT 911 00:30:48,147 --> 00:30:48,512 >> THAT IS SO SICK, DUDE. >> WE GOT TO HANG WITH HIM, THAT WAS WILD. 912 00:30:48,514 --> 00:30:49,580 >> WE GOT TO HANG WITH HIM, THAT WAS WILD. >> I KNOW, RIGHT? 913 00:30:49,582 --> 00:30:51,081 WAS WILD. >> I KNOW, RIGHT? WE DID THE PODCAST ON HIS PLANE, 914 00:30:51,083 --> 00:30:51,648 >> I KNOW, RIGHT? WE DID THE PODCAST ON HIS PLANE, SO BALLER. 915 00:30:51,650 --> 00:30:53,383 WE DID THE PODCAST ON HIS PLANE, SO BALLER. >> YEAH, IT WAS AWESOME, DUDE. 916 00:30:53,385 --> 00:30:55,285 SO BALLER. >> YEAH, IT WAS AWESOME, DUDE. THEY ASKED US TO MEET AT THE 917 00:30:55,287 --> 00:31:00,958 >> YEAH, IT WAS AWESOME, DUDE. THEY ASKED US TO MEET AT THE SECRET AIRPORT, AND IT'S CALLED 918 00:31:00,960 --> 00:31:01,358 THEY ASKED US TO MEET AT THE SECRET AIRPORT, AND IT'S CALLED TITTYBABY. 919 00:31:01,360 --> 00:31:03,293 SECRET AIRPORT, AND IT'S CALLED TITTYBABY. >> DUGIN, IT'S CALLED TETERBORO. 920 00:31:03,295 --> 00:31:03,694 TITTYBABY. >> DUGIN, IT'S CALLED TETERBORO. [ LAUGHTER ] 921 00:31:03,696 --> 00:31:05,696 >> DUGIN, IT'S CALLED TETERBORO. [ LAUGHTER ] >> RIGHT, BUT WE WERE ON HIS 922 00:31:05,698 --> 00:31:07,231 [ LAUGHTER ] >> RIGHT, BUT WE WERE ON HIS PLANE AND WE TALKED TO TRUMP FOR 923 00:31:07,233 --> 00:31:07,831 >> RIGHT, BUT WE WERE ON HIS PLANE AND WE TALKED TO TRUMP FOR TWO HOURS. 924 00:31:07,833 --> 00:31:09,333 PLANE AND WE TALKED TO TRUMP FOR TWO HOURS. WHEN IT WAS OVER, HE KICKED US 925 00:31:09,335 --> 00:31:11,134 TWO HOURS. WHEN IT WAS OVER, HE KICKED US OFF THE PLANE IN GRAND RAPIDS, 926 00:31:11,136 --> 00:31:12,703 WHEN IT WAS OVER, HE KICKED US OFF THE PLANE IN GRAND RAPIDS, MICHIGAN, AND WE HAD TO, LIKE, 927 00:31:12,705 --> 00:31:14,905 OFF THE PLANE IN GRAND RAPIDS, MICHIGAN, AND WE HAD TO, LIKE, FIND OUR OWN WAY BACK, IT WAS SO 928 00:31:14,907 --> 00:31:15,205 MICHIGAN, AND WE HAD TO, LIKE, FIND OUR OWN WAY BACK, IT WAS SO SICK. 929 00:31:15,207 --> 00:31:16,139 FIND OUR OWN WAY BACK, IT WAS SO SICK. >> YEAH. 930 00:31:16,141 --> 00:31:16,807 SICK. >> YEAH. THAT GREYHOUND BUS SMELLED 931 00:31:16,809 --> 00:31:18,108 >> YEAH. THAT GREYHOUND BUS SMELLED CRAZY. 932 00:31:18,110 --> 00:31:21,311 THAT GREYHOUND BUS SMELLED CRAZY. >> TOTAL ROAD TRIP. 933 00:31:21,313 --> 00:31:24,781 CRAZY. >> TOTAL ROAD TRIP. GUYS, WE GOT TO TALK MIKE TYSON, 934 00:31:24,783 --> 00:31:29,987 >> TOTAL ROAD TRIP. GUYS, WE GOT TO TALK MIKE TYSON, BUT FIRST SOME SPONSORS. 935 00:31:29,989 --> 00:31:30,821 GUYS, WE GOT TO TALK MIKE TYSON, BUT FIRST SOME SPONSORS. >> "BANGER BOYZ" IS SPONSORED BY 936 00:31:30,823 --> 00:31:31,588 BUT FIRST SOME SPONSORS. >> "BANGER BOYZ" IS SPONSORED BY TOPGOLF. 937 00:31:31,590 --> 00:31:32,322 >> "BANGER BOYZ" IS SPONSORED BY TOPGOLF. FIND OUT WHICH OF YOUR 938 00:31:32,324 --> 00:31:33,090 TOPGOLF. FIND OUT WHICH OF YOUR CO-WORKERS IS AN ALCOHOLIC BY 939 00:31:33,092 --> 00:31:35,659 FIND OUT WHICH OF YOUR CO-WORKERS IS AN ALCOHOLIC BY TOPGOLF. 940 00:31:35,661 --> 00:31:36,827 CO-WORKERS IS AN ALCOHOLIC BY TOPGOLF. AND BY MALE CHIMP. 941 00:31:36,829 --> 00:31:37,561 TOPGOLF. AND BY MALE CHIMP. DO YOU HAVE A FEMALE CHIMP AND 942 00:31:37,563 --> 00:31:40,430 AND BY MALE CHIMP. DO YOU HAVE A FEMALE CHIMP AND NEED A MALE ONE? 943 00:31:40,432 --> 00:31:41,164 DO YOU HAVE A FEMALE CHIMP AND NEED A MALE ONE? WELL, THIS GUY NAMED DOUG HAS A 944 00:31:41,166 --> 00:31:41,698 NEED A MALE ONE? WELL, THIS GUY NAMED DOUG HAS A MALE CHIMP. 945 00:31:41,700 --> 00:31:45,435 WELL, THIS GUY NAMED DOUG HAS A MALE CHIMP. [ LAUGHTER ] 946 00:31:45,437 --> 00:31:47,137 MALE CHIMP. [ LAUGHTER ] >> WAIT, DUGIN, IS THAT YOUR 947 00:31:47,139 --> 00:31:47,437 [ LAUGHTER ] >> WAIT, DUGIN, IS THAT YOUR PHONE? 948 00:31:47,439 --> 00:31:49,706 >> WAIT, DUGIN, IS THAT YOUR PHONE? >> WHOA, SORRY, BRO, YEAH. 949 00:31:49,708 --> 00:31:50,607 PHONE? >> WHOA, SORRY, BRO, YEAH. IT SAYS IT'S FROM MAR-A-LAGO. 950 00:31:50,609 --> 00:31:52,175 >> WHOA, SORRY, BRO, YEAH. IT SAYS IT'S FROM MAR-A-LAGO. >> WHOA, ANSWER IT, BRO. 951 00:31:52,177 --> 00:31:53,910 IT SAYS IT'S FROM MAR-A-LAGO. >> WHOA, ANSWER IT, BRO. >> ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT, ALL 952 00:31:53,912 --> 00:31:54,611 >> WHOA, ANSWER IT, BRO. >> ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT. 953 00:31:54,613 --> 00:31:55,612 >> ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT. HELLO? 954 00:31:55,614 --> 00:31:55,979 RIGHT. HELLO? HI, SIR. 955 00:31:55,981 --> 00:31:56,280 HELLO? HI, SIR. YEAH. 956 00:31:56,282 --> 00:31:58,749 HI, SIR. YEAH. OH, OKAY, COOL. 957 00:31:58,751 --> 00:31:59,016 YEAH. OH, OKAY, COOL. OH! 958 00:31:59,018 --> 00:32:00,317 OH, OKAY, COOL. OH! >> WHAT WAS THAT ABOUT? 959 00:32:00,319 --> 00:32:01,518 OH! >> WHAT WAS THAT ABOUT? >> OH, DUDE. 960 00:32:01,520 --> 00:32:02,452 >> WHAT WAS THAT ABOUT? >> OH, DUDE. THAT WAS TRUMP. 961 00:32:02,454 --> 00:32:05,389 >> OH, DUDE. THAT WAS TRUMP. HE SAID THAT HE'S MAKING ME THE 962 00:32:05,391 --> 00:32:06,590 THAT WAS TRUMP. HE SAID THAT HE'S MAKING ME THE SECRETARY OF THE CONVERSE. 963 00:32:06,592 --> 00:32:07,691 HE SAID THAT HE'S MAKING ME THE SECRETARY OF THE CONVERSE. >> WHOA! 964 00:32:07,693 --> 00:32:08,659 SECRETARY OF THE CONVERSE. >> WHOA! >> MAN, WHOA. 965 00:32:08,661 --> 00:32:09,626 >> WHOA! >> MAN, WHOA. >> WAIT. 966 00:32:09,628 --> 00:32:11,295 >> MAN, WHOA. >> WAIT. SECRETARY OF COMMERCE? 967 00:32:11,297 --> 00:32:12,129 >> WAIT. SECRETARY OF COMMERCE? WHAT IS THAT? 968 00:32:12,131 --> 00:32:13,397 SECRETARY OF COMMERCE? WHAT IS THAT? >> I THINK IT MEANS HE'S IN 969 00:32:13,399 --> 00:32:14,631 WHAT IS THAT? >> I THINK IT MEANS HE'S IN CHARGE OF ALL THE COMMERCIALS. 970 00:32:14,633 --> 00:32:14,965 >> I THINK IT MEANS HE'S IN CHARGE OF ALL THE COMMERCIALS. >> WHOA! 971 00:32:14,967 --> 00:32:16,600 CHARGE OF ALL THE COMMERCIALS. >> WHOA! ALL OF THEM? 972 00:32:16,602 --> 00:32:18,869 >> WHOA! ALL OF THEM? >> I THINK SO, YEAH. 973 00:32:18,871 --> 00:32:21,004 ALL OF THEM? >> I THINK SO, YEAH. >> YEAH, BRO, FIRST THING I'M 974 00:32:21,006 --> 00:32:22,939 >> I THINK SO, YEAH. >> YEAH, BRO, FIRST THING I'M GOING TO DO IN OFFICE, I'M GOING 975 00:32:22,941 --> 00:32:26,209 >> YEAH, BRO, FIRST THING I'M GOING TO DO IN OFFICE, I'M GOING TO FIRE THAT LITTLE GEICO SNAKE. 976 00:32:26,211 --> 00:32:26,943 GOING TO DO IN OFFICE, I'M GOING TO FIRE THAT LITTLE GEICO SNAKE. >> SNAKE? 977 00:32:26,945 --> 00:32:28,445 TO FIRE THAT LITTLE GEICO SNAKE. >> SNAKE? IT'S A GECKO. 978 00:32:28,447 --> 00:32:29,446 >> SNAKE? IT'S A GECKO. >> IT'S A SNAKE, BRO, A SNAKE 979 00:32:29,448 --> 00:32:30,480 IT'S A GECKO. >> IT'S A SNAKE, BRO, A SNAKE WITH LITTLE LEGS. 980 00:32:30,482 --> 00:32:31,915 >> IT'S A SNAKE, BRO, A SNAKE WITH LITTLE LEGS. >> SNAKES DON'T HAVE LEGS. 981 00:32:31,917 --> 00:32:32,716 WITH LITTLE LEGS. >> SNAKES DON'T HAVE LEGS. REMEMBER? 982 00:32:32,718 --> 00:32:33,784 >> SNAKES DON'T HAVE LEGS. REMEMBER? THAT'S WHAT MAKES THEM SNAKES. 983 00:32:33,786 --> 00:32:34,551 REMEMBER? THAT'S WHAT MAKES THEM SNAKES. [ LAUGHTER ] 984 00:32:34,553 --> 00:32:36,586 THAT'S WHAT MAKES THEM SNAKES. [ LAUGHTER ] >> I'LL AGREE TO DISAGREE, MY 985 00:32:36,588 --> 00:32:39,056 [ LAUGHTER ] >> I'LL AGREE TO DISAGREE, MY BROTHER. 986 00:32:39,058 --> 00:32:40,123 >> I'LL AGREE TO DISAGREE, MY BROTHER. >> HEY, GUYS. 987 00:32:40,125 --> 00:32:42,626 BROTHER. >> HEY, GUYS. YOU KNOW, I'M NOT SURE THAT'S 988 00:32:42,628 --> 00:32:43,727 >> HEY, GUYS. YOU KNOW, I'M NOT SURE THAT'S WHAT SECRETARY OF COMMERCE IS 989 00:32:43,729 --> 00:32:44,027 YOU KNOW, I'M NOT SURE THAT'S WHAT SECRETARY OF COMMERCE IS ABOUT. 990 00:32:44,029 --> 00:32:44,661 WHAT SECRETARY OF COMMERCE IS ABOUT. I THINK IT'S ABOUT, LIKE, 991 00:32:44,663 --> 00:32:46,697 ABOUT. I THINK IT'S ABOUT, LIKE, INTERNATIONAL TRADE. 992 00:32:46,699 --> 00:32:47,030 I THINK IT'S ABOUT, LIKE, INTERNATIONAL TRADE. >> WHAT? 993 00:32:47,032 --> 00:32:48,265 INTERNATIONAL TRADE. >> WHAT? >> RELAX. 994 00:32:48,267 --> 00:32:48,565 >> WHAT? >> RELAX. RELAX. 995 00:32:48,567 --> 00:32:53,770 >> RELAX. RELAX. I DON'T THINK THAT'S RIGHT. 996 00:32:53,772 --> 00:32:55,772 RELAX. I DON'T THINK THAT'S RIGHT. LET'S TALK ABOUT FRIDAY'S FIGHT. 997 00:32:55,774 --> 00:32:57,240 I DON'T THINK THAT'S RIGHT. LET'S TALK ABOUT FRIDAY'S FIGHT. JAKE PAUL IS OBVIOUSLY A FRIEND 998 00:32:57,242 --> 00:32:59,309 LET'S TALK ABOUT FRIDAY'S FIGHT. JAKE PAUL IS OBVIOUSLY A FRIEND OF THE POD, AND HIS BEARD RULES. 999 00:32:59,311 --> 00:33:00,877 JAKE PAUL IS OBVIOUSLY A FRIEND OF THE POD, AND HIS BEARD RULES. IS IT WEIRD HE FOUGHT MIKE 1000 00:33:00,879 --> 00:33:01,211 OF THE POD, AND HIS BEARD RULES. IS IT WEIRD HE FOUGHT MIKE TYSON? 1001 00:33:01,213 --> 00:33:02,479 IS IT WEIRD HE FOUGHT MIKE TYSON? THE GUY'S 58 YEARS OLD. 1002 00:33:02,481 --> 00:33:03,814 TYSON? THE GUY'S 58 YEARS OLD. >> WHAT'S WRONG WITH THAT? 1003 00:33:03,816 --> 00:33:06,249 THE GUY'S 58 YEARS OLD. >> WHAT'S WRONG WITH THAT? MY DAD'S 64 AND STILL KICKS MY 1004 00:33:06,251 --> 00:33:06,983 >> WHAT'S WRONG WITH THAT? MY DAD'S 64 AND STILL KICKS MY ASS EVERY WEEK. 1005 00:33:06,985 --> 00:33:08,452 MY DAD'S 64 AND STILL KICKS MY ASS EVERY WEEK. >> DUGGEN, FOR REAL? 1006 00:33:08,454 --> 00:33:10,153 ASS EVERY WEEK. >> DUGGEN, FOR REAL? >> YEAH, LIKE ON WEDNESDAY I 1007 00:33:10,155 --> 00:33:14,191 >> DUGGEN, FOR REAL? >> YEAH, LIKE ON WEDNESDAY I CALLED HIM WUSS AND HE THREW 1008 00:33:14,193 --> 00:33:15,158 >> YEAH, LIKE ON WEDNESDAY I CALLED HIM WUSS AND HE THREW THEY OFF OUR DECK. 1009 00:33:15,160 --> 00:33:15,592 CALLED HIM WUSS AND HE THREW THEY OFF OUR DECK. YEAH. 1010 00:33:15,594 --> 00:33:17,894 THEY OFF OUR DECK. YEAH. I HIT MY HEAD SO HARD, I DON'T 1011 00:33:17,896 --> 00:33:18,729 YEAH. I HIT MY HEAD SO HARD, I DON'T TASTE ANYMORE. 1012 00:33:18,731 --> 00:33:20,030 I HIT MY HEAD SO HARD, I DON'T TASTE ANYMORE. MY DAD'S HILARIOUS. 1013 00:33:20,032 --> 00:33:23,900 TASTE ANYMORE. MY DAD'S HILARIOUS. >> SO CRAZY. 1014 00:33:23,902 --> 00:33:27,804 MY DAD'S HILARIOUS. >> SO CRAZY. ANOTHER SPONSOR, CARA? 1015 00:33:27,806 --> 00:33:28,805 >> SO CRAZY. ANOTHER SPONSOR, CARA? >> "BANGER BOYZ" IS SPONSORED BY 1016 00:33:28,807 --> 00:33:32,609 ANOTHER SPONSOR, CARA? >> "BANGER BOYZ" IS SPONSORED BY WARM SPONGES. 1017 00:33:32,611 --> 00:33:33,810 >> "BANGER BOYZ" IS SPONSORED BY WARM SPONGES. COLD PLUNGES JUST GOT A HELL OF 1018 00:33:33,812 --> 00:33:34,544 WARM SPONGES. COLD PLUNGES JUST GOT A HELL OF A LOT MORE COMFORTABLE WITH WARM 1019 00:33:34,546 --> 00:33:35,078 COLD PLUNGES JUST GOT A HELL OF A LOT MORE COMFORTABLE WITH WARM PLUNGES. 1020 00:33:35,080 --> 00:33:35,812 A LOT MORE COMFORTABLE WITH WARM PLUNGES. AND BY PUBE WHACKER. 1021 00:33:35,814 --> 00:33:36,580 PLUNGES. AND BY PUBE WHACKER. BE VERY CAREFUL WITH PUBE 1022 00:33:36,582 --> 00:33:37,647 AND BY PUBE WHACKER. BE VERY CAREFUL WITH PUBE WHACKER. 1023 00:33:37,649 --> 00:33:39,383 BE VERY CAREFUL WITH PUBE WHACKER. [ LAUGHTER ] 1024 00:33:39,385 --> 00:33:40,784 WHACKER. [ LAUGHTER ] >> HOLD UP. 1025 00:33:40,786 --> 00:33:42,619 [ LAUGHTER ] >> HOLD UP. THAT'S MY PHONE. 1026 00:33:42,621 --> 00:33:44,221 >> HOLD UP. THAT'S MY PHONE. HELLO? 1027 00:33:44,223 --> 00:33:46,556 THAT'S MY PHONE. HELLO? YES, SIR. 1028 00:33:46,558 --> 00:33:47,557 HELLO? YES, SIR. UM -- YEAH, I GUESS SO. 1029 00:33:47,559 --> 00:33:49,092 YES, SIR. UM -- YEAH, I GUESS SO. OKAY. 1030 00:33:49,094 --> 00:33:52,162 UM -- YEAH, I GUESS SO. OKAY. YOU TOO, SIR. 1031 00:33:52,164 --> 00:33:52,462 OKAY. YOU TOO, SIR. >> SO? 1032 00:33:52,464 --> 00:33:54,398 YOU TOO, SIR. >> SO? >> THAT WAS TRUMP. 1033 00:33:54,400 --> 00:33:56,099 >> SO? >> THAT WAS TRUMP. I'M THE NEW AMBASSADOR TO IRAN. 1034 00:33:56,101 --> 00:33:59,536 >> THAT WAS TRUMP. I'M THE NEW AMBASSADOR TO IRAN. >> WHOA! 1035 00:33:59,538 --> 00:34:01,772 I'M THE NEW AMBASSADOR TO IRAN. >> WHOA! >> P.J., YOU ARE GOING TO BODY 1036 00:34:01,774 --> 00:34:02,239 >> WHOA! >> P.J., YOU ARE GOING TO BODY THAT JOB, DUDE! 1037 00:34:02,241 --> 00:34:04,474 >> P.J., YOU ARE GOING TO BODY THAT JOB, DUDE! >> SO COOL, RIGHT? 1038 00:34:04,476 --> 00:34:05,175 THAT JOB, DUDE! >> SO COOL, RIGHT? I DON'T KNOW IF I WANT TO DO 1039 00:34:05,177 --> 00:34:05,475 >> SO COOL, RIGHT? I DON'T KNOW IF I WANT TO DO THAT. 1040 00:34:05,477 --> 00:34:08,578 I DON'T KNOW IF I WANT TO DO THAT. [ LAUGHTER ] 1041 00:34:08,580 --> 00:34:10,614 THAT. [ LAUGHTER ] YOU THINK I HAVE TO, LIKE, LIVE 1042 00:34:10,616 --> 00:34:10,914 [ LAUGHTER ] YOU THINK I HAVE TO, LIKE, LIVE THERE? 1043 00:34:10,916 --> 00:34:13,150 YOU THINK I HAVE TO, LIKE, LIVE THERE? >> NO, MAYBE YOU CAN DO IT ON 1044 00:34:13,152 --> 00:34:13,583 THERE? >> NO, MAYBE YOU CAN DO IT ON ZOOM. 1045 00:34:13,585 --> 00:34:13,984 >> NO, MAYBE YOU CAN DO IT ON ZOOM. [ LAUGHTER ] 1046 00:34:13,986 --> 00:34:17,454 ZOOM. [ LAUGHTER ] >> OKAY, LET'S PAUSE AND LET 1047 00:34:17,456 --> 00:34:18,021 [ LAUGHTER ] >> OKAY, LET'S PAUSE AND LET P.J. FIGURE THIS OUT. 1048 00:34:18,023 --> 00:34:20,524 >> OKAY, LET'S PAUSE AND LET P.J. FIGURE THIS OUT. THEN DUGIN AND I ARE GOING TO 1049 00:34:20,526 --> 00:34:22,993 P.J. FIGURE THIS OUT. THEN DUGIN AND I ARE GOING TO TALK ABOUT HOW THE PYRAMIDS WERE 1050 00:34:22,995 --> 00:34:23,360 THEN DUGIN AND I ARE GOING TO TALK ABOUT HOW THE PYRAMIDS WERE CREATED. 1051 00:34:23,362 --> 00:34:23,894 TALK ABOUT HOW THE PYRAMIDS WERE CREATED. >> ALIENS. 1052 00:34:23,896 --> 00:34:24,661 CREATED. >> ALIENS. >> NO, IT'S A PULLEY SYSTEM. 1053 00:34:24,663 --> 00:34:25,629 >> ALIENS. >> NO, IT'S A PULLEY SYSTEM. IT'S LIKE ROPES. 1054 00:34:25,631 --> 00:34:44,147 >> NO, IT'S A PULLEY SYSTEM. IT'S LIKE ROPES. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 1055 00:34:44,149 --> 00:34:47,684 IT'S LIKE ROPES. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] >>> LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, IT'S 1056 00:34:47,686 --> 00:34:51,555 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] >>> LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, IT'S CHARLI XCX! 1057 00:34:51,557 --> 00:34:52,155 >>> LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, IT'S CHARLI XCX! [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 1058 00:34:52,157 --> 00:34:57,260 CHARLI XCX! [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] ¶¶ 1059 00:34:57,262 --> 00:34:57,994 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] ¶¶ ¶ I WENT MY OWN WAY 1060 00:34:57,996 --> 00:34:58,495 ¶¶ ¶ I WENT MY OWN WAY AND I MADE IT 1061 00:34:58,497 --> 00:34:59,262 ¶ I WENT MY OWN WAY AND I MADE IT I'M YOUR FAVORITE REFERENCE 1062 00:34:59,264 --> 00:34:59,996 AND I MADE IT I'M YOUR FAVORITE REFERENCE BABY ¶ 1063 00:34:59,998 --> 00:35:00,730 I'M YOUR FAVORITE REFERENCE BABY ¶ ¶ CALL ME GABBRIETTE 1064 00:35:00,732 --> 00:35:01,731 BABY ¶ ¶ CALL ME GABBRIETTE YOU'RE SO INSPIRED 1065 00:35:01,733 --> 00:35:02,466 ¶ CALL ME GABBRIETTE YOU'RE SO INSPIRED AHH AHH ¶ 1066 00:35:02,468 --> 00:35:03,500 YOU'RE SO INSPIRED AHH AHH ¶ ¶ I'M TECTONIC 1067 00:35:03,502 --> 00:35:04,501 AHH AHH ¶ ¶ I'M TECTONIC MOVES I MAKE 'EM 1068 00:35:04,503 --> 00:35:05,469 ¶ I'M TECTONIC MOVES I MAKE 'EM SHOCK YOU LIKE 1069 00:35:05,471 --> 00:35:07,204 MOVES I MAKE 'EM SHOCK YOU LIKE DEFIBRILLATORS ¶ 1070 00:35:07,206 --> 00:35:08,738 SHOCK YOU LIKE DEFIBRILLATORS ¶ ¶ NO STYLE I CAN'T RELATE 1071 00:35:08,740 --> 00:35:09,973 DEFIBRILLATORS ¶ ¶ NO STYLE I CAN'T RELATE I'LL ALWAYS BE THE ONE 1072 00:35:09,975 --> 00:35:11,975 ¶ NO STYLE I CAN'T RELATE I'LL ALWAYS BE THE ONE AHH ¶ 1073 00:35:11,977 --> 00:35:13,977 I'LL ALWAYS BE THE ONE AHH ¶ ¶ DROP DOWN YEAH 1074 00:35:13,979 --> 00:35:15,479 AHH ¶ ¶ DROP DOWN YEAH PUT THE CAMERA FLASH ON 1075 00:35:15,481 --> 00:35:17,481 ¶ DROP DOWN YEAH PUT THE CAMERA FLASH ON SO STYLISH 1076 00:35:17,483 --> 00:35:19,483 PUT THE CAMERA FLASH ON SO STYLISH BABY TEE IS ALL GONE ¶ 1077 00:35:19,485 --> 00:35:21,485 SO STYLISH BABY TEE IS ALL GONE ¶ ¶ DROP DOWN YEAH 1078 00:35:21,487 --> 00:35:23,487 BABY TEE IS ALL GONE ¶ ¶ DROP DOWN YEAH LOOKIN' LIKE AN ICON 1079 00:35:23,489 --> 00:35:26,223 ¶ DROP DOWN YEAH LOOKIN' LIKE AN ICON WORK ANGLES ¶ 1080 00:35:26,225 --> 00:35:27,224 LOOKIN' LIKE AN ICON WORK ANGLES ¶ ¶ YEAH 360 1081 00:35:27,226 --> 00:35:28,492 WORK ANGLES ¶ ¶ YEAH 360 WHEN YOU'RE IN THE MIRROR 1082 00:35:28,494 --> 00:35:29,226 ¶ YEAH 360 WHEN YOU'RE IN THE MIRROR DO YOU LIKE WHAT YOU SEE? ¶ 1083 00:35:29,228 --> 00:35:30,227 WHEN YOU'RE IN THE MIRROR DO YOU LIKE WHAT YOU SEE? ¶ ¶ WHEN YOU'RE IN THE MIRROR 1084 00:35:30,229 --> 00:35:30,994 DO YOU LIKE WHAT YOU SEE? ¶ ¶ WHEN YOU'RE IN THE MIRROR YOU'RE JUST LOOKING AT ¶ 1085 00:35:30,996 --> 00:35:32,496 ¶ WHEN YOU'RE IN THE MIRROR YOU'RE JUST LOOKING AT ¶ ¶ I'M EVERYWHERE 1086 00:35:32,498 --> 00:35:34,231 YOU'RE JUST LOOKING AT ¶ ¶ I'M EVERYWHERE I'M SO JULIA 1087 00:35:34,233 --> 00:35:35,232 ¶ I'M EVERYWHERE I'M SO JULIA AH-AH AHH ¶ 1088 00:35:35,234 --> 00:35:36,500 I'M SO JULIA AH-AH AHH ¶ ¶ WHEN YOU'RE IN THE PARTY 1089 00:35:36,502 --> 00:35:37,734 AH-AH AHH ¶ ¶ WHEN YOU'RE IN THE PARTY B-B-BUMPIN' THAT BEAT 1090 00:35:37,736 --> 00:35:38,969 ¶ WHEN YOU'RE IN THE PARTY B-B-BUMPIN' THAT BEAT 666 WITH A PRINCESS STREAK ¶ 1091 00:35:38,971 --> 00:35:40,470 B-B-BUMPIN' THAT BEAT 666 WITH A PRINCESS STREAK ¶ ¶ I'M EVERYWHERE 1092 00:35:40,472 --> 00:35:41,471 666 WITH A PRINCESS STREAK ¶ ¶ I'M EVERYWHERE I'M SO JULIA HEY 1093 00:35:41,473 --> 00:35:45,008 ¶ I'M EVERYWHERE I'M SO JULIA HEY AH-AH AHH ¶ 1094 00:35:45,010 --> 00:35:45,742 I'M SO JULIA HEY AH-AH AHH ¶ ¶¶ 1095 00:35:45,744 --> 00:35:47,711 AH-AH AHH ¶ ¶¶ ¶ BUMPIN' THAT 1096 00:35:47,713 --> 00:35:48,478 ¶¶ ¶ BUMPIN' THAT BUMPIN' THAT 1097 00:35:48,480 --> 00:35:50,480 ¶ BUMPIN' THAT BUMPIN' THAT BUMPIN' THAT ¶ 1098 00:35:50,482 --> 00:35:51,715 BUMPIN' THAT BUMPIN' THAT ¶ ¶ THAT CITY 1099 00:35:51,717 --> 00:35:52,983 BUMPIN' THAT ¶ ¶ THAT CITY SEWER SLUT'S THE VIBE 1100 00:35:52,985 --> 00:35:54,484 ¶ THAT CITY SEWER SLUT'S THE VIBE INTERNATIONALLY RECOGNIZED ¶ 1101 00:35:54,486 --> 00:35:55,485 SEWER SLUT'S THE VIBE INTERNATIONALLY RECOGNIZED ¶ ¶ I SET THE TONE 1102 00:35:55,487 --> 00:35:56,486 INTERNATIONALLY RECOGNIZED ¶ ¶ I SET THE TONE IT'S MY DESIGN 1103 00:35:56,488 --> 00:35:59,222 ¶ I SET THE TONE IT'S MY DESIGN AND HEY HEY ¶ 1104 00:35:59,224 --> 00:36:01,725 IT'S MY DESIGN AND HEY HEY ¶ ¶ LEGACY IS UNDEBATED 1105 00:36:01,727 --> 00:36:04,494 AND HEY HEY ¶ ¶ LEGACY IS UNDEBATED YOU GON' JUMP 1106 00:36:04,496 --> 00:36:05,228 ¶ LEGACY IS UNDEBATED YOU GON' JUMP IF A.G. MADE IT ¶ 1107 00:36:05,230 --> 00:36:05,962 YOU GON' JUMP IF A.G. MADE IT ¶ ¶ IF YOU LOVE IT 1108 00:36:05,964 --> 00:36:06,463 IF A.G. MADE IT ¶ ¶ IF YOU LOVE IT IF YOU HATE IT 1109 00:36:06,465 --> 00:36:07,230 ¶ IF YOU LOVE IT IF YOU HATE IT I DON'T I DON'T CARE 1110 00:36:07,232 --> 00:36:07,964 IF YOU HATE IT I DON'T I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU THINK ¶ 1111 00:36:07,966 --> 00:36:09,232 I DON'T I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU THINK ¶ ¶ DROP DOWN YEAH 1112 00:36:09,234 --> 00:36:10,767 WHAT YOU THINK ¶ ¶ DROP DOWN YEAH PUT THE CAMERA FLASH ON 1113 00:36:10,769 --> 00:36:13,236 ¶ DROP DOWN YEAH PUT THE CAMERA FLASH ON SO STYLISH 1114 00:36:13,238 --> 00:36:15,739 PUT THE CAMERA FLASH ON SO STYLISH BABY TEE IS ALL GONE ¶ 1115 00:36:15,741 --> 00:36:17,474 SO STYLISH BABY TEE IS ALL GONE ¶ ¶ DROP DOWN YEAH 1116 00:36:17,476 --> 00:36:19,476 BABY TEE IS ALL GONE ¶ ¶ DROP DOWN YEAH LOOKIN' LIKE AN ICON 1117 00:36:19,478 --> 00:36:21,978 ¶ DROP DOWN YEAH LOOKIN' LIKE AN ICON WORK ANGLES ¶ 1118 00:36:21,980 --> 00:36:22,979 LOOKIN' LIKE AN ICON WORK ANGLES ¶ ¶ YEAH 360 1119 00:36:22,981 --> 00:36:24,447 WORK ANGLES ¶ ¶ YEAH 360 WHEN YOU 'RE IN THE MIRROR 1120 00:36:24,449 --> 00:36:25,248 ¶ YEAH 360 WHEN YOU 'RE IN THE MIRROR DO YOU LIKE WHAT YOU SEE? ¶ 1121 00:36:25,250 --> 00:36:26,249 WHEN YOU 'RE IN THE MIRROR DO YOU LIKE WHAT YOU SEE? ¶ ¶ WHEN YOU'RE IN THE MIRROR 1122 00:36:26,251 --> 00:36:26,950 DO YOU LIKE WHAT YOU SEE? ¶ ¶ WHEN YOU'RE IN THE MIRROR YOU'RE JUST LOOKING AT ¶ 1123 00:36:26,952 --> 00:36:27,984 ¶ WHEN YOU'RE IN THE MIRROR YOU'RE JUST LOOKING AT ¶ ¶ I'M EVERYWHERE 1124 00:36:27,986 --> 00:36:28,985 YOU'RE JUST LOOKING AT ¶ ¶ I'M EVERYWHERE I'M SO JULIA 1125 00:36:28,987 --> 00:36:30,720 ¶ I'M EVERYWHERE I'M SO JULIA AH-AH AHH ¶ 1126 00:36:30,722 --> 00:36:31,955 I'M SO JULIA AH-AH AHH ¶ ¶ WHEN YOU'RE IN THE PARTY 1127 00:36:31,957 --> 00:36:33,456 AH-AH AHH ¶ ¶ WHEN YOU'RE IN THE PARTY B-B-BUMPIN' THAT BEAT 1128 00:36:33,458 --> 00:36:34,958 ¶ WHEN YOU'RE IN THE PARTY B-B-BUMPIN' THAT BEAT 666 WITH A PRINCESS STREAK ¶ 1129 00:36:34,960 --> 00:36:38,194 B-B-BUMPIN' THAT BEAT 666 WITH A PRINCESS STREAK ¶ ¶ I'M EVERYWHERE 1130 00:36:38,196 --> 00:36:39,496 666 WITH A PRINCESS STREAK ¶ ¶ I'M EVERYWHERE YEAH 1131 00:36:39,498 --> 00:36:40,730 ¶ I'M EVERYWHERE YEAH AH-AH AHH ¶ 1132 00:36:40,732 --> 00:36:41,464 YEAH AH-AH AHH ¶ ¶¶ 1133 00:36:41,466 --> 00:36:42,632 AH-AH AHH ¶ ¶¶ ¶ BUMPIN' THAT 1134 00:36:42,634 --> 00:36:44,334 ¶¶ ¶ BUMPIN' THAT THAT'S RIGHT 1135 00:36:44,336 --> 00:36:46,069 ¶ BUMPIN' THAT THAT'S RIGHT BUMPIN' THAT 1136 00:36:46,071 --> 00:36:48,838 THAT'S RIGHT BUMPIN' THAT AH-AH AHH ¶ 1137 00:36:48,840 --> 00:36:50,340 BUMPIN' THAT AH-AH AHH ¶ ¶ BUMPIN' THAT 1138 00:36:50,342 --> 00:36:52,609 AH-AH AHH ¶ ¶ BUMPIN' THAT BUMPIN' THAT 1139 00:36:52,611 --> 00:36:53,376 ¶ BUMPIN' THAT BUMPIN' THAT BUMPIN' THAT 1140 00:36:53,378 --> 00:36:55,612 BUMPIN' THAT BUMPIN' THAT AH-AH AHH ¶ 1141 00:36:55,614 --> 00:37:13,630 BUMPIN' THAT AH-AH AHH ¶ [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 1142 00:37:13,632 --> 00:37:13,964 AH-AH AHH ¶ [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] ¶¶ 1143 00:37:13,966 --> 00:37:15,632 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] ¶¶ >>> IT'S "WEEKEND UPDATE" WITH 1144 00:37:15,634 --> 00:37:24,975 ¶¶ >>> IT'S "WEEKEND UPDATE" WITH COLIN JOST AND MICHAEL CHE. 1145 00:37:24,977 --> 00:37:27,110 >>> IT'S "WEEKEND UPDATE" WITH COLIN JOST AND MICHAEL CHE. >> GOOD EVENING, EVERYONE. 1146 00:37:27,112 --> 00:37:27,911 COLIN JOST AND MICHAEL CHE. >> GOOD EVENING, EVERYONE. >> I'M MICHAEL CHE. 1147 00:37:27,913 --> 00:37:28,411 >> GOOD EVENING, EVERYONE. >> I'M MICHAEL CHE. >> I'M COLIN JOST. 1148 00:37:28,413 --> 00:37:31,815 >> I'M MICHAEL CHE. >> I'M COLIN JOST. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 1149 00:37:31,817 --> 00:37:33,783 >> I'M COLIN JOST. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] >>> THIS WEEK, DONALD TRUMP 1150 00:37:33,785 --> 00:37:34,851 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] >>> THIS WEEK, DONALD TRUMP CONTINUED TO ANNOUNCE EVERYONE 1151 00:37:34,853 --> 00:37:35,518 >>> THIS WEEK, DONALD TRUMP CONTINUED TO ANNOUNCE EVERYONE HE'S GOING TO FIRE IN SIX 1152 00:37:35,520 --> 00:37:35,852 CONTINUED TO ANNOUNCE EVERYONE HE'S GOING TO FIRE IN SIX MONTHS. 1153 00:37:35,854 --> 00:37:37,721 HE'S GOING TO FIRE IN SIX MONTHS. [ LAUGHTER ] 1154 00:37:37,723 --> 00:37:39,522 MONTHS. [ LAUGHTER ] TRUMP NOMINATED KRISTI NOEM TO 1155 00:37:39,524 --> 00:37:42,459 [ LAUGHTER ] TRUMP NOMINATED KRISTI NOEM TO LEAD THE DEPARTMENT OF HOMELAND 1156 00:37:42,461 --> 00:37:44,494 TRUMP NOMINATED KRISTI NOEM TO LEAD THE DEPARTMENT OF HOMELAND SECURITY, LEE ZELDIN TO HEAD THE 1157 00:37:44,496 --> 00:37:46,796 LEAD THE DEPARTMENT OF HOMELAND SECURITY, LEE ZELDIN TO HEAD THE EPA, AND ELISE STEFANIK AS 1158 00:37:46,798 --> 00:37:48,365 SECURITY, LEE ZELDIN TO HEAD THE EPA, AND ELISE STEFANIK AS AMBASSADOR TO THE U.N. 1159 00:37:48,367 --> 00:37:49,566 EPA, AND ELISE STEFANIK AS AMBASSADOR TO THE U.N. THEN SOMEONE YELLS," NOW DO A 1160 00:37:49,568 --> 00:37:49,966 AMBASSADOR TO THE U.N. THEN SOMEONE YELLS," NOW DO A SILLY ONE." 1161 00:37:49,968 --> 00:37:53,470 THEN SOMEONE YELLS," NOW DO A SILLY ONE." [ LAUGHTER ] 1162 00:37:53,472 --> 00:37:56,006 SILLY ONE." [ LAUGHTER ] ON WEDNESDAY, TRUMP NOMINATED 1163 00:37:56,008 --> 00:37:56,973 [ LAUGHTER ] ON WEDNESDAY, TRUMP NOMINATED MATT GAETZ FOR ATTORNEY GENERAL 1164 00:37:56,975 --> 00:37:59,943 ON WEDNESDAY, TRUMP NOMINATED MATT GAETZ FOR ATTORNEY GENERAL AND GAETZ SAID THE SAME THING HE 1165 00:37:59,945 --> 00:38:00,910 MATT GAETZ FOR ATTORNEY GENERAL AND GAETZ SAID THE SAME THING HE DOES WHEN HE SEES A TEENAGE 1166 00:38:00,912 --> 00:38:01,211 AND GAETZ SAID THE SAME THING HE DOES WHEN HE SEES A TEENAGE GIRL. 1167 00:38:01,213 --> 00:38:05,782 DOES WHEN HE SEES A TEENAGE GIRL. "I'LL DO IT." 1168 00:38:05,784 --> 00:38:10,153 GIRL. "I'LL DO IT." [ MOANS AND LAUGHTER ] 1169 00:38:10,155 --> 00:38:11,788 "I'LL DO IT." [ MOANS AND LAUGHTER ] GAETZ, WHO WAS CREATED WHEN 1170 00:38:11,790 --> 00:38:14,691 [ MOANS AND LAUGHTER ] GAETZ, WHO WAS CREATED WHEN FRANKENSTEIN RAPED DRACULA -- 1171 00:38:14,693 --> 00:38:18,795 GAETZ, WHO WAS CREATED WHEN FRANKENSTEIN RAPED DRACULA -- [ MOANS AND LAUGHTER ] 1172 00:38:18,797 --> 00:38:20,230 FRANKENSTEIN RAPED DRACULA -- [ MOANS AND LAUGHTER ] -- WAS CHOSEN FOR ATTORNEY 1173 00:38:20,232 --> 00:38:21,464 [ MOANS AND LAUGHTER ] -- WAS CHOSEN FOR ATTORNEY GENERAL AFTER TRUMP REMEMBERED 1174 00:38:21,466 --> 00:38:22,999 -- WAS CHOSEN FOR ATTORNEY GENERAL AFTER TRUMP REMEMBERED THAT HIS ORIGINAL PICK WAS FOUND 1175 00:38:23,001 --> 00:38:25,101 GENERAL AFTER TRUMP REMEMBERED THAT HIS ORIGINAL PICK WAS FOUND DEAD IN A JAIL CELL. 1176 00:38:25,103 --> 00:38:29,806 THAT HIS ORIGINAL PICK WAS FOUND DEAD IN A JAIL CELL. [ MOANS ] 1177 00:38:29,808 --> 00:38:31,007 DEAD IN A JAIL CELL. [ MOANS ] >>> ELON MUSK IS REPORTEDLY 1178 00:38:31,009 --> 00:38:32,942 [ MOANS ] >>> ELON MUSK IS REPORTEDLY SPENDING NEARLY EVERY DAY WITH 1179 00:38:32,944 --> 00:38:33,977 >>> ELON MUSK IS REPORTEDLY SPENDING NEARLY EVERY DAY WITH DONALD TRUMP AT MAR-A-LAGO, BUT 1180 00:38:33,979 --> 00:38:35,812 SPENDING NEARLY EVERY DAY WITH DONALD TRUMP AT MAR-A-LAGO, BUT DON'T WORRY, ELON WILL LEAVE AS 1181 00:38:35,814 --> 00:38:37,981 DONALD TRUMP AT MAR-A-LAGO, BUT DON'T WORRY, ELON WILL LEAVE AS SOON AS HE FINISHES LISTING ALL 1182 00:38:37,983 --> 00:38:40,750 DON'T WORRY, ELON WILL LEAVE AS SOON AS HE FINISHES LISTING ALL THE DINOSAURS IN ALPHABETICAL 1183 00:38:40,752 --> 00:38:41,184 SOON AS HE FINISHES LISTING ALL THE DINOSAURS IN ALPHABETICAL ORDER. 1184 00:38:41,186 --> 00:38:41,584 THE DINOSAURS IN ALPHABETICAL ORDER. [ LAUGHTER ] 1185 00:38:41,586 --> 00:38:43,353 ORDER. [ LAUGHTER ] ELON MUSK'S NEW DEPARTMENT OF 1186 00:38:43,355 --> 00:38:44,454 [ LAUGHTER ] ELON MUSK'S NEW DEPARTMENT OF GOVERNMENT EFFICIENCY POSTED A 1187 00:38:44,456 --> 00:38:45,855 ELON MUSK'S NEW DEPARTMENT OF GOVERNMENT EFFICIENCY POSTED A JOB LISTING SAYING THEY ARE 1188 00:38:45,857 --> 00:38:47,290 GOVERNMENT EFFICIENCY POSTED A JOB LISTING SAYING THEY ARE LOOKING FOR PEOPLE WILLING TO 1189 00:38:47,292 --> 00:38:50,427 JOB LISTING SAYING THEY ARE LOOKING FOR PEOPLE WILLING TO WORK 80-PLUS HOURS A WEEK FOR NO 1190 00:38:50,429 --> 00:38:50,727 LOOKING FOR PEOPLE WILLING TO WORK 80-PLUS HOURS A WEEK FOR NO MONEY. 1191 00:38:50,729 --> 00:38:52,062 WORK 80-PLUS HOURS A WEEK FOR NO MONEY. BUT YOU CAN'T BE SURPRISED THE 1192 00:38:52,064 --> 00:38:53,029 MONEY. BUT YOU CAN'T BE SURPRISED THE WHITE AFRICAN GUY'S FIRST IDEA 1193 00:38:53,031 --> 00:38:53,430 BUT YOU CAN'T BE SURPRISED THE WHITE AFRICAN GUY'S FIRST IDEA IS SLAVERY. 1194 00:38:53,432 --> 00:38:58,868 WHITE AFRICAN GUY'S FIRST IDEA IS SLAVERY. [ LAUGHTER ] 1195 00:38:58,870 --> 00:39:00,770 IS SLAVERY. [ LAUGHTER ] >>> CONGRATULATIONS TO ROBERT F. 1196 00:39:00,772 --> 00:39:02,605 [ LAUGHTER ] >>> CONGRATULATIONS TO ROBERT F. KENNEDY JR., WHO BECAME THE 1197 00:39:02,607 --> 00:39:05,542 >>> CONGRATULATIONS TO ROBERT F. KENNEDY JR., WHO BECAME THE FIRST BRAIN WORM SURVIVOR 1198 00:39:05,544 --> 00:39:07,811 KENNEDY JR., WHO BECAME THE FIRST BRAIN WORM SURVIVOR NOMINATED TO A CABINET-LEVEL 1199 00:39:07,813 --> 00:39:08,445 FIRST BRAIN WORM SURVIVOR NOMINATED TO A CABINET-LEVEL POSITION. 1200 00:39:08,447 --> 00:39:10,380 NOMINATED TO A CABINET-LEVEL POSITION. KENNEDY, WHOSE SKIN IS ALWAYS 1201 00:39:10,382 --> 00:39:13,016 POSITION. KENNEDY, WHOSE SKIN IS ALWAYS COOKED TO A PERFECT MEDIUM RARE, 1202 00:39:13,018 --> 00:39:14,451 KENNEDY, WHOSE SKIN IS ALWAYS COOKED TO A PERFECT MEDIUM RARE, WILL LEAD THE DEPARTMENT OF 1203 00:39:14,453 --> 00:39:15,552 COOKED TO A PERFECT MEDIUM RARE, WILL LEAD THE DEPARTMENT OF HEALTH AND HUMAN SERVICES. 1204 00:39:15,554 --> 00:39:17,187 WILL LEAD THE DEPARTMENT OF HEALTH AND HUMAN SERVICES. AND I KNOW HE DOESN'T HAVE A LOT 1205 00:39:17,189 --> 00:39:18,455 HEALTH AND HUMAN SERVICES. AND I KNOW HE DOESN'T HAVE A LOT OF EXPERIENCE, BUT I SAY WE GIVE 1206 00:39:18,457 --> 00:39:18,855 AND I KNOW HE DOESN'T HAVE A LOT OF EXPERIENCE, BUT I SAY WE GIVE HIM A SHOT. 1207 00:39:18,857 --> 00:39:20,290 OF EXPERIENCE, BUT I SAY WE GIVE HIM A SHOT. [ LAUGHTER ] 1208 00:39:20,292 --> 00:39:25,729 HIM A SHOT. [ LAUGHTER ] [ APPLAUSE ] 1209 00:39:25,731 --> 00:39:27,363 [ LAUGHTER ] [ APPLAUSE ] >>> DONALD TRUMP HAS SELECTED 1210 00:39:27,365 --> 00:39:29,332 [ APPLAUSE ] >>> DONALD TRUMP HAS SELECTED PETE HEGSETH TO BE HIS SECRETARY 1211 00:39:29,334 --> 00:39:30,433 >>> DONALD TRUMP HAS SELECTED PETE HEGSETH TO BE HIS SECRETARY OF DEFENSE. 1212 00:39:30,435 --> 00:39:32,168 PETE HEGSETH TO BE HIS SECRETARY OF DEFENSE. HEGSETH IS COHOST OF "FOX & 1213 00:39:32,170 --> 00:39:33,970 OF DEFENSE. HEGSETH IS COHOST OF "FOX & FRIENDS WEEKENDS," WHICH IS 1214 00:39:33,972 --> 00:39:34,704 HEGSETH IS COHOST OF "FOX & FRIENDS WEEKENDS," WHICH IS BROADCAST EXCLUSIVELY ON CPAP 1215 00:39:34,706 --> 00:39:35,338 FRIENDS WEEKENDS," WHICH IS BROADCAST EXCLUSIVELY ON CPAP MACHINES. 1216 00:39:35,340 --> 00:39:41,478 BROADCAST EXCLUSIVELY ON CPAP MACHINES. [ LAUGHTER ] 1217 00:39:41,480 --> 00:39:43,446 MACHINES. [ LAUGHTER ] >>> PRESIDENT BIDEN AND DONALD 1218 00:39:43,448 --> 00:39:44,581 [ LAUGHTER ] >>> PRESIDENT BIDEN AND DONALD TRUMP, SEEN HERE BURNING THE 1219 00:39:44,583 --> 00:39:45,215 >>> PRESIDENT BIDEN AND DONALD TRUMP, SEEN HERE BURNING THE LAST OF THEIR CLASSIFIED 1220 00:39:45,217 --> 00:39:45,648 TRUMP, SEEN HERE BURNING THE LAST OF THEIR CLASSIFIED DOCUMENTS -- 1221 00:39:45,650 --> 00:39:47,884 LAST OF THEIR CLASSIFIED DOCUMENTS -- [ LAUGHTER ] 1222 00:39:47,886 --> 00:39:50,120 DOCUMENTS -- [ LAUGHTER ] -- MET AT THE WHITE HOUSE FOR 1223 00:39:50,122 --> 00:39:50,887 [ LAUGHTER ] -- MET AT THE WHITE HOUSE FOR ALMOST TWO HOURS. 1224 00:39:50,889 --> 00:39:53,456 -- MET AT THE WHITE HOUSE FOR ALMOST TWO HOURS. BUT KEEP IN MIND, 90 MINUTES OF 1225 00:39:53,458 --> 00:39:54,224 ALMOST TWO HOURS. BUT KEEP IN MIND, 90 MINUTES OF THAT WAS JUST THEM STRUGGLING TO 1226 00:39:54,226 --> 00:39:54,591 BUT KEEP IN MIND, 90 MINUTES OF THAT WAS JUST THEM STRUGGLING TO STAND UP. 1227 00:39:54,593 --> 00:39:57,761 THAT WAS JUST THEM STRUGGLING TO STAND UP. [ LAUGHTER ] 1228 00:39:57,763 --> 00:40:00,964 STAND UP. [ LAUGHTER ] >>> RUDY GIULIANI, WHO OWES $150 1229 00:40:00,966 --> 00:40:02,165 [ LAUGHTER ] >>> RUDY GIULIANI, WHO OWES $150 MILLION TO GEORGIA ELECTION 1230 00:40:02,167 --> 00:40:05,702 >>> RUDY GIULIANI, WHO OWES $150 MILLION TO GEORGIA ELECTION WORKERS, HAS TURNED OVER HIS 1231 00:40:05,704 --> 00:40:07,637 MILLION TO GEORGIA ELECTION WORKERS, HAS TURNED OVER HIS 1980 MERCEDES-BENZ, HIS WATCH 1232 00:40:07,639 --> 00:40:08,671 WORKERS, HAS TURNED OVER HIS 1980 MERCEDES-BENZ, HIS WATCH COLLECTION, AND DIAMOND RING. 1233 00:40:08,673 --> 00:40:09,372 1980 MERCEDES-BENZ, HIS WATCH COLLECTION, AND DIAMOND RING. SO NOW HE OWES $150 MILLION. 1234 00:40:09,374 --> 00:40:14,778 COLLECTION, AND DIAMOND RING. SO NOW HE OWES $150 MILLION. [ LAUGHTER ] 1235 00:40:14,780 --> 00:40:16,446 SO NOW HE OWES $150 MILLION. [ LAUGHTER ] >>> IT WAS REPORTED THAT SOME 1236 00:40:16,448 --> 00:40:17,814 [ LAUGHTER ] >>> IT WAS REPORTED THAT SOME CRITICS OF DONALD TRUMP ARE 1237 00:40:17,816 --> 00:40:19,215 >>> IT WAS REPORTED THAT SOME CRITICS OF DONALD TRUMP ARE PREPARING GO BAGS IN CASE THEY 1238 00:40:19,217 --> 00:40:19,883 CRITICS OF DONALD TRUMP ARE PREPARING GO BAGS IN CASE THEY HAVE TO SUDDENLY FLEE THE 1239 00:40:19,885 --> 00:40:23,686 PREPARING GO BAGS IN CASE THEY HAVE TO SUDDENLY FLEE THE COUNTRY. 1240 00:40:23,688 --> 00:40:24,454 HAVE TO SUDDENLY FLEE THE COUNTRY. WHICH I THINK IS STUPID, BUT 1241 00:40:24,456 --> 00:40:29,692 COUNTRY. WHICH I THINK IS STUPID, BUT COLINO JUSTINI -- 1242 00:40:29,694 --> 00:40:30,093 WHICH I THINK IS STUPID, BUT COLINO JUSTINI -- [ LAUGHTER ] 1243 00:40:30,095 --> 00:40:31,261 COLINO JUSTINI -- [ LAUGHTER ] THINKS THAT IT IS -- 1244 00:40:31,263 --> 00:40:32,729 [ LAUGHTER ] THINKS THAT IT IS -- [ SPEAKING ITALIAN ] 1245 00:40:32,731 --> 00:40:34,531 THINKS THAT IT IS -- [ SPEAKING ITALIAN ] >>> THE WINNER OF A DONE CONTEST 1246 00:40:34,533 --> 00:40:35,932 [ SPEAKING ITALIAN ] >>> THE WINNER OF A DONE CONTEST TO CREATE A NEW NATIONAL ANTHEM 1247 00:40:35,934 --> 00:40:38,268 >>> THE WINNER OF A DONE CONTEST TO CREATE A NEW NATIONAL ANTHEM IS A SONG CALLED "LET THEM FLY," 1248 00:40:38,270 --> 00:40:40,503 TO CREATE A NEW NATIONAL ANTHEM IS A SONG CALLED "LET THEM FLY," WHICH IS A ROUSING INSPIRATIONAL 1249 00:40:40,505 --> 00:40:41,104 IS A SONG CALLED "LET THEM FLY," WHICH IS A ROUSING INSPIRATIONAL SONG ABOUT AN IMMIGRANT 1250 00:40:41,106 --> 00:40:41,504 WHICH IS A ROUSING INSPIRATIONAL SONG ABOUT AN IMMIGRANT CATAPULT. 1251 00:40:41,506 --> 00:40:46,743 SONG ABOUT AN IMMIGRANT CATAPULT. [ LAUGHTER ] 1252 00:40:46,745 --> 00:40:48,211 CATAPULT. [ LAUGHTER ] >>> NEW JERSEY GOVERNOR PHIL 1253 00:40:48,213 --> 00:40:50,013 [ LAUGHTER ] >>> NEW JERSEY GOVERNOR PHIL MURPHY HAS DECLARED A DROUGHT 1254 00:40:50,015 --> 00:40:51,481 >>> NEW JERSEY GOVERNOR PHIL MURPHY HAS DECLARED A DROUGHT WARNING AND HAS URGED RESIDENTS 1255 00:40:51,483 --> 00:40:52,882 MURPHY HAS DECLARED A DROUGHT WARNING AND HAS URGED RESIDENTS TO REDUCE WATER CONSUMPTION, 1256 00:40:52,884 --> 00:40:54,350 WARNING AND HAS URGED RESIDENTS TO REDUCE WATER CONSUMPTION, WHICH ISN'T A BIG DEAL SINCE NEW 1257 00:40:54,352 --> 00:40:57,387 TO REDUCE WATER CONSUMPTION, WHICH ISN'T A BIG DEAL SINCE NEW JERSEY RESIDENTS ONLY BATHE IN 1258 00:40:57,389 --> 00:40:57,787 WHICH ISN'T A BIG DEAL SINCE NEW JERSEY RESIDENTS ONLY BATHE IN CVS COLOGNE. 1259 00:40:57,789 --> 00:41:00,223 JERSEY RESIDENTS ONLY BATHE IN CVS COLOGNE. [ LAUGHTER ] 1260 00:41:00,225 --> 00:41:02,258 CVS COLOGNE. [ LAUGHTER ] THAT'S MY UNDERSTANDING, COLIN. 1261 00:41:02,260 --> 00:41:04,327 [ LAUGHTER ] THAT'S MY UNDERSTANDING, COLIN. >>> LAST NIGHT, JAKE PAUL AND 1262 00:41:04,329 --> 00:41:06,162 THAT'S MY UNDERSTANDING, COLIN. >>> LAST NIGHT, JAKE PAUL AND MIKE TYSON TEAMED UP TO DEFEAT 1263 00:41:06,164 --> 00:41:06,663 >>> LAST NIGHT, JAKE PAUL AND MIKE TYSON TEAMED UP TO DEFEAT EVERYONE WATCHING. 1264 00:41:06,665 --> 00:41:13,369 MIKE TYSON TEAMED UP TO DEFEAT EVERYONE WATCHING. [ LAUGHTER ] 1265 00:41:13,371 --> 00:41:15,038 EVERYONE WATCHING. [ LAUGHTER ] >>> JOE EXOTIC, AKA THE TIGER 1266 00:41:15,040 --> 00:41:16,239 [ LAUGHTER ] >>> JOE EXOTIC, AKA THE TIGER KING, PENNED A LETTER TO DONALD 1267 00:41:16,241 --> 00:41:17,707 >>> JOE EXOTIC, AKA THE TIGER KING, PENNED A LETTER TO DONALD TRUMP ASKING, ONCE AGAIN, TO BE 1268 00:41:17,709 --> 00:41:19,309 KING, PENNED A LETTER TO DONALD TRUMP ASKING, ONCE AGAIN, TO BE PARDONED AND RELEASED FROM 1269 00:41:19,311 --> 00:41:19,642 TRUMP ASKING, ONCE AGAIN, TO BE PARDONED AND RELEASED FROM PRISON. 1270 00:41:19,644 --> 00:41:20,343 PARDONED AND RELEASED FROM PRISON. HERE TO COMMENT IS JOE EXOTIC! 1271 00:41:20,345 --> 00:41:28,318 PRISON. HERE TO COMMENT IS JOE EXOTIC! [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 1272 00:41:28,320 --> 00:41:29,085 HERE TO COMMENT IS JOE EXOTIC! [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] >> HEY! 1273 00:41:29,087 --> 00:41:29,552 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] >> HEY! I'M BACK. 1274 00:41:29,554 --> 00:41:31,054 >> HEY! I'M BACK. OH, IT'S NICE TO BE OUT OF MY 1275 00:41:31,056 --> 00:41:32,055 I'M BACK. OH, IT'S NICE TO BE OUT OF MY CAGE. 1276 00:41:32,057 --> 00:41:32,755 OH, IT'S NICE TO BE OUT OF MY CAGE. >> YES, IT'S NICE TO SEE YOU 1277 00:41:32,757 --> 00:41:33,323 CAGE. >> YES, IT'S NICE TO SEE YOU AFTER SO LONG. 1278 00:41:33,325 --> 00:41:34,557 >> YES, IT'S NICE TO SEE YOU AFTER SO LONG. HOW'S JAIL? 1279 00:41:34,559 --> 00:41:35,592 AFTER SO LONG. HOW'S JAIL? >> I'M NOT SUPPOSED TO BE THERE, 1280 00:41:35,594 --> 00:41:41,497 HOW'S JAIL? >> I'M NOT SUPPOSED TO BE THERE, CHE. 1281 00:41:41,499 --> 00:41:44,334 >> I'M NOT SUPPOSED TO BE THERE, CHE. ALL I DID WAS TAKE FOR MY CATS, 1282 00:41:44,336 --> 00:41:46,102 CHE. ALL I DID WAS TAKE FOR MY CATS, MAKE LOVE TO MY TWO STRAIGHT 1283 00:41:46,104 --> 00:41:46,870 ALL I DID WAS TAKE FOR MY CATS, MAKE LOVE TO MY TWO STRAIGHT HUSBANDS, AND TRY TO KILL CAROLE 1284 00:41:46,872 --> 00:41:49,706 MAKE LOVE TO MY TWO STRAIGHT HUSBANDS, AND TRY TO KILL CAROLE BASKIN MULTIPLE TIMES. 1285 00:41:49,708 --> 00:41:50,673 HUSBANDS, AND TRY TO KILL CAROLE BASKIN MULTIPLE TIMES. I'VE GOTTEN TO KNOW PETER VERY 1286 00:41:50,675 --> 00:41:53,910 BASKIN MULTIPLE TIMES. I'VE GOTTEN TO KNOW PETER VERY WELL THE PAST FEW YEARS. 1287 00:41:53,912 --> 00:41:58,982 I'VE GOTTEN TO KNOW PETER VERY WELL THE PAST FEW YEARS. I GUESS YOU COULD SAY I'M A 1288 00:41:58,984 --> 00:41:59,382 WELL THE PAST FEW YEARS. I GUESS YOU COULD SAY I'M A PETER-PHILE. 1289 00:41:59,384 --> 00:41:59,949 I GUESS YOU COULD SAY I'M A PETER-PHILE. YOU CAN PRINT THAT. 1290 00:41:59,951 --> 00:42:00,683 PETER-PHILE. YOU CAN PRINT THAT. >> I DON'T THINK YOU WANT TO US 1291 00:42:00,685 --> 00:42:02,218 YOU CAN PRINT THAT. >> I DON'T THINK YOU WANT TO US PRINT THAT, MAN. 1292 00:42:02,220 --> 00:42:05,021 >> I DON'T THINK YOU WANT TO US PRINT THAT, MAN. >> ALL I EVER WANTED TO DO WAS 1293 00:42:05,023 --> 00:42:05,722 PRINT THAT, MAN. >> ALL I EVER WANTED TO DO WAS TO LIVE IN PEACE AND HARMONY 1294 00:42:05,724 --> 00:42:07,423 >> ALL I EVER WANTED TO DO WAS TO LIVE IN PEACE AND HARMONY WITH THE ANIMALS. 1295 00:42:07,425 --> 00:42:07,924 TO LIVE IN PEACE AND HARMONY WITH THE ANIMALS. OH, NO! 1296 00:42:07,926 --> 00:42:08,424 WITH THE ANIMALS. OH, NO! ETHAN, DOWN! 1297 00:42:08,426 --> 00:42:08,925 OH, NO! ETHAN, DOWN! ETHAN, DOWN! 1298 00:42:08,927 --> 00:42:09,459 ETHAN, DOWN! ETHAN, DOWN! >> IS THAT A TIGER? 1299 00:42:09,461 --> 00:42:10,660 ETHAN, DOWN! >> IS THAT A TIGER? >> SHOOT IT, CHE! 1300 00:42:10,662 --> 00:42:11,060 >> IS THAT A TIGER? >> SHOOT IT, CHE! SHOOT IT! 1301 00:42:11,062 --> 00:42:15,765 >> SHOOT IT, CHE! SHOOT IT! >> I DON'T HAVE A GUN. 1302 00:42:15,767 --> 00:42:17,133 SHOOT IT! >> I DON'T HAVE A GUN. >> YOU CAN'T GET A GUN TO WORK, 1303 00:42:17,135 --> 00:42:17,800 >> I DON'T HAVE A GUN. >> YOU CAN'T GET A GUN TO WORK, THIS IS AMERICA OR EUROPE, 1304 00:42:17,802 --> 00:42:20,503 >> YOU CAN'T GET A GUN TO WORK, THIS IS AMERICA OR EUROPE, FRANCE? 1305 00:42:20,505 --> 00:42:21,204 THIS IS AMERICA OR EUROPE, FRANCE? >> DID YOU SERIOUSLY BRING A 1306 00:42:21,206 --> 00:42:22,705 FRANCE? >> DID YOU SERIOUSLY BRING A TIGER WITH YOU? 1307 00:42:22,707 --> 00:42:23,940 >> DID YOU SERIOUSLY BRING A TIGER WITH YOU? >> HE FOLLOWED ME. 1308 00:42:23,942 --> 00:42:26,943 TIGER WITH YOU? >> HE FOLLOWED ME. EVERYBODY KNOWS THAT JOE EXOTIC 1309 00:42:26,945 --> 00:42:28,411 >> HE FOLLOWED ME. EVERYBODY KNOWS THAT JOE EXOTIC ATTRACTS BIG CATS AND POOR GUYS 1310 00:42:28,413 --> 00:42:29,145 EVERYBODY KNOWS THAT JOE EXOTIC ATTRACTS BIG CATS AND POOR GUYS WHO WANT TO BE GAY FOR THE FIRST 1311 00:42:29,147 --> 00:42:29,445 ATTRACTS BIG CATS AND POOR GUYS WHO WANT TO BE GAY FOR THE FIRST TIME. 1312 00:42:29,447 --> 00:42:30,213 WHO WANT TO BE GAY FOR THE FIRST TIME. [ LAUGHTER ] 1313 00:42:30,215 --> 00:42:30,947 TIME. [ LAUGHTER ] >> I AM CURIOUS, BUT I'M NOT 1314 00:42:30,949 --> 00:42:35,251 [ LAUGHTER ] >> I AM CURIOUS, BUT I'M NOT POOR. 1315 00:42:35,253 --> 00:42:36,252 >> I AM CURIOUS, BUT I'M NOT POOR. WHAT, WHAT? 1316 00:42:36,254 --> 00:42:36,686 POOR. WHAT, WHAT? FORGET THAT. 1317 00:42:36,688 --> 00:42:37,086 WHAT, WHAT? FORGET THAT. [ LAUGHTER ] 1318 00:42:37,088 --> 00:42:39,222 FORGET THAT. [ LAUGHTER ] >> I CAN WORK WITH THAT. 1319 00:42:39,224 --> 00:42:39,856 [ LAUGHTER ] >> I CAN WORK WITH THAT. >> CALM DOWN. 1320 00:42:39,858 --> 00:42:41,691 >> I CAN WORK WITH THAT. >> CALM DOWN. IN YOUR LETTER THIS WEEK, YOU 1321 00:42:41,693 --> 00:42:43,326 >> CALM DOWN. IN YOUR LETTER THIS WEEK, YOU ALSO ASKED TO BE A MEMBER OF 1322 00:42:43,328 --> 00:42:44,327 IN YOUR LETTER THIS WEEK, YOU ALSO ASKED TO BE A MEMBER OF TRUMP'S CABINET? 1323 00:42:44,329 --> 00:42:44,794 ALSO ASKED TO BE A MEMBER OF TRUMP'S CABINET? >> THAT'S RIGHT. 1324 00:42:44,796 --> 00:42:46,029 TRUMP'S CABINET? >> THAT'S RIGHT. I HAVE THE PERFECT EXPERIENCE TO 1325 00:42:46,031 --> 00:42:46,696 >> THAT'S RIGHT. I HAVE THE PERFECT EXPERIENCE TO BE THE DIRECTOR OF FISH AND 1326 00:42:46,698 --> 00:42:49,933 I HAVE THE PERFECT EXPERIENCE TO BE THE DIRECTOR OF FISH AND WILDLIFE. 1327 00:42:49,935 --> 00:42:51,968 BE THE DIRECTOR OF FISH AND WILDLIFE. CHE, YOU EVER BEEN IN A "LIFE OF 1328 00:42:51,970 --> 00:42:52,402 WILDLIFE. CHE, YOU EVER BEEN IN A "LIFE OF PI" SITUATION? 1329 00:42:52,404 --> 00:42:53,603 CHE, YOU EVER BEEN IN A "LIFE OF PI" SITUATION? >> NO, WHAT'S THAT? 1330 00:42:53,605 --> 00:42:55,939 PI" SITUATION? >> NO, WHAT'S THAT? >> WHEN YOU'RE STUCK ON A BOAT 1331 00:42:55,941 --> 00:42:57,573 >> NO, WHAT'S THAT? >> WHEN YOU'RE STUCK ON A BOAT WITH A TIGER AND YOUR INDIAN 1332 00:42:57,575 --> 00:42:58,708 >> WHEN YOU'RE STUCK ON A BOAT WITH A TIGER AND YOUR INDIAN BOYFRIEND. 1333 00:42:58,710 --> 00:42:59,108 WITH A TIGER AND YOUR INDIAN BOYFRIEND. [ LAUGHTER ] 1334 00:42:59,110 --> 00:43:00,643 BOYFRIEND. [ LAUGHTER ] >> YOU'RE APPEALING TO TRUMP FOR 1335 00:43:00,645 --> 00:43:01,544 [ LAUGHTER ] >> YOU'RE APPEALING TO TRUMP FOR YOUR PARDON. 1336 00:43:01,546 --> 00:43:02,979 >> YOU'RE APPEALING TO TRUMP FOR YOUR PARDON. DIDN'T YOU RUN FOR PRESIDENT 1337 00:43:02,981 --> 00:43:04,047 YOUR PARDON. DIDN'T YOU RUN FOR PRESIDENT FROM JAIL AS A DEMOCRAT? 1338 00:43:04,049 --> 00:43:06,716 DIDN'T YOU RUN FOR PRESIDENT FROM JAIL AS A DEMOCRAT? >> I DID, BUT LIKE MY MULLET, MY 1339 00:43:06,718 --> 00:43:07,450 FROM JAIL AS A DEMOCRAT? >> I DID, BUT LIKE MY MULLET, MY POLITICS ARE COUNTRY OVER PARTY. 1340 00:43:07,452 --> 00:43:13,623 >> I DID, BUT LIKE MY MULLET, MY POLITICS ARE COUNTRY OVER PARTY. [ LAUGHTER ] 1341 00:43:13,625 --> 00:43:14,357 POLITICS ARE COUNTRY OVER PARTY. [ LAUGHTER ] NO, ETHAN, DOWN! 1342 00:43:14,359 --> 00:43:17,093 [ LAUGHTER ] NO, ETHAN, DOWN! SHOOT IT WITH YOUR PENCIL! 1343 00:43:17,095 --> 00:43:19,529 NO, ETHAN, DOWN! SHOOT IT WITH YOUR PENCIL! OH, I'M DEAD! 1344 00:43:19,531 --> 00:43:21,831 SHOOT IT WITH YOUR PENCIL! OH, I'M DEAD! >> YOUR LION SEEMS REALLY 1345 00:43:21,833 --> 00:43:22,332 OH, I'M DEAD! >> YOUR LION SEEMS REALLY DANGEROUS, MAN. 1346 00:43:22,334 --> 00:43:24,334 >> YOUR LION SEEMS REALLY DANGEROUS, MAN. >> WHY, BECAUSE I LIVE WITH 1347 00:43:24,336 --> 00:43:25,535 DANGEROUS, MAN. >> WHY, BECAUSE I LIVE WITH TIGERS ON XANAX, AND BECAUSE I 1348 00:43:25,537 --> 00:43:27,570 >> WHY, BECAUSE I LIVE WITH TIGERS ON XANAX, AND BECAUSE I TAKE A BUNCH OF XANAX, SO THE 1349 00:43:27,572 --> 00:43:28,771 TIGERS ON XANAX, AND BECAUSE I TAKE A BUNCH OF XANAX, SO THE TIGERS ARE INSANE AND MY 1350 00:43:28,773 --> 00:43:31,641 TAKE A BUNCH OF XANAX, SO THE TIGERS ARE INSANE AND MY REACTION TIME IS INCREDIBLY 1351 00:43:31,643 --> 00:43:31,941 TIGERS ARE INSANE AND MY REACTION TIME IS INCREDIBLY SLOW? 1352 00:43:31,943 --> 00:43:32,342 REACTION TIME IS INCREDIBLY SLOW? [ LAUGHTER ] 1353 00:43:32,344 --> 00:43:33,242 SLOW? [ LAUGHTER ] >> YEAH, THAT'S EXACTLY WHY. 1354 00:43:33,244 --> 00:43:34,911 [ LAUGHTER ] >> YEAH, THAT'S EXACTLY WHY. I WISH YOU THE BEST OF LUCK ON 1355 00:43:34,913 --> 00:43:35,645 >> YEAH, THAT'S EXACTLY WHY. I WISH YOU THE BEST OF LUCK ON YOUR PARDON. 1356 00:43:35,647 --> 00:43:36,713 I WISH YOU THE BEST OF LUCK ON YOUR PARDON. IS THERE ANYTHING ELSE YOU'D 1357 00:43:36,715 --> 00:43:39,382 YOUR PARDON. IS THERE ANYTHING ELSE YOU'D LIKE TO SAY? 1358 00:43:39,384 --> 00:43:40,116 IS THERE ANYTHING ELSE YOU'D LIKE TO SAY? >> THERE IS. 1359 00:43:40,118 --> 00:43:40,450 LIKE TO SAY? >> THERE IS. ¶¶ 1360 00:43:40,452 --> 00:43:40,750 >> THERE IS. ¶¶ LOOK. 1361 00:43:40,752 --> 00:43:44,787 ¶¶ LOOK. I'M NOT A PERFECT PERSON. 1362 00:43:44,789 --> 00:43:47,090 LOOK. I'M NOT A PERFECT PERSON. [ LAUGHTER ] 1363 00:43:47,092 --> 00:43:48,057 I'M NOT A PERFECT PERSON. [ LAUGHTER ] >> IS THAT IT? 1364 00:43:48,059 --> 00:43:49,158 [ LAUGHTER ] >> IS THAT IT? >> NO, THERE'S MORE. 1365 00:43:49,160 --> 00:43:52,996 >> IS THAT IT? >> NO, THERE'S MORE. ¶¶ 1366 00:43:52,998 --> 00:43:55,064 >> NO, THERE'S MORE. ¶¶ I MADE A LOT OF MISTAKES. 1367 00:43:55,066 --> 00:43:58,034 ¶¶ I MADE A LOT OF MISTAKES. BUT CHE, THIS IS AMERICA. 1368 00:43:58,036 --> 00:43:59,869 I MADE A LOT OF MISTAKES. BUT CHE, THIS IS AMERICA. AND WHAT IS AMERICA BUT AN 1369 00:43:59,871 --> 00:44:02,672 BUT CHE, THIS IS AMERICA. AND WHAT IS AMERICA BUT AN ILLEGAL ZOO RUN BY A MESSED-UP 1370 00:44:02,674 --> 00:44:03,006 AND WHAT IS AMERICA BUT AN ILLEGAL ZOO RUN BY A MESSED-UP POLYCUE? 1371 00:44:03,008 --> 00:44:04,474 ILLEGAL ZOO RUN BY A MESSED-UP POLYCUE? AND THIS ISN'T RELATED TO 1372 00:44:04,476 --> 00:44:05,575 POLYCUE? AND THIS ISN'T RELATED TO ANYTHING, BUT HOW HOT ARE THE 1373 00:44:05,577 --> 00:44:08,311 AND THIS ISN'T RELATED TO ANYTHING, BUT HOW HOT ARE THE GUYS THAT I POLL? 1374 00:44:08,313 --> 00:44:08,911 ANYTHING, BUT HOW HOT ARE THE GUYS THAT I POLL? LOOK IT UP, IT'S CRAZY. 1375 00:44:08,913 --> 00:44:09,812 GUYS THAT I POLL? LOOK IT UP, IT'S CRAZY. AND THAT'S WHAT AMERICA IS ALL 1376 00:44:09,814 --> 00:44:10,346 LOOK IT UP, IT'S CRAZY. AND THAT'S WHAT AMERICA IS ALL ABOUT. 1377 00:44:10,348 --> 00:44:11,180 AND THAT'S WHAT AMERICA IS ALL ABOUT. >> JOE EXOTIC, EVERYBODY. 1378 00:44:11,182 --> 00:44:14,684 ABOUT. >> JOE EXOTIC, EVERYBODY. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 1379 00:44:14,686 --> 00:44:18,154 >> JOE EXOTIC, EVERYBODY. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] >> CHE, SHOOT IT! 1380 00:44:18,156 --> 00:44:18,888 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] >> CHE, SHOOT IT! >> I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO. 1381 00:44:18,890 --> 00:44:23,893 >> CHE, SHOOT IT! >> I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO. >> SHOOT IT. 1382 00:44:23,895 --> 00:44:25,595 >> I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO. >> SHOOT IT. >>> A SPIRIT AIRLINES FLIGHT WAS 1383 00:44:25,597 --> 00:44:27,030 >> SHOOT IT. >>> A SPIRIT AIRLINES FLIGHT WAS FORCED TO DIVERT AFTER IT WAS 1384 00:44:27,032 --> 00:44:28,898 >>> A SPIRIT AIRLINES FLIGHT WAS FORCED TO DIVERT AFTER IT WAS STRUCK BY GUNFIRE FROM GANGS 1385 00:44:28,900 --> 00:44:31,501 FORCED TO DIVERT AFTER IT WAS STRUCK BY GUNFIRE FROM GANGS WHILE TRYING TO LAND IN HAITI. 1386 00:44:31,503 --> 00:44:33,336 STRUCK BY GUNFIRE FROM GANGS WHILE TRYING TO LAND IN HAITI. A RARE SETBACK FOR PEOPLE WHO 1387 00:44:33,338 --> 00:44:33,870 WHILE TRYING TO LAND IN HAITI. A RARE SETBACK FOR PEOPLE WHO FLY SPIRIT TO HAITI. 1388 00:44:33,872 --> 00:44:39,809 A RARE SETBACK FOR PEOPLE WHO FLY SPIRIT TO HAITI. [ LAUGHTER ] 1389 00:44:39,811 --> 00:44:41,044 FLY SPIRIT TO HAITI. [ LAUGHTER ] >>> SCIENTISTS ARE CONCERNED 1390 00:44:41,046 --> 00:44:43,246 [ LAUGHTER ] >>> SCIENTISTS ARE CONCERNED THAT OVER THE COURSE OF 180 1391 00:44:43,248 --> 00:44:45,648 >>> SCIENTISTS ARE CONCERNED THAT OVER THE COURSE OF 180 MILLION YEARS, THE Y CHROMOSOME 1392 00:44:45,650 --> 00:44:47,250 THAT OVER THE COURSE OF 180 MILLION YEARS, THE Y CHROMOSOME HAS DECLINED AND THAT MEN COULD 1393 00:44:47,252 --> 00:44:49,752 MILLION YEARS, THE Y CHROMOSOME HAS DECLINED AND THAT MEN COULD GO EXTINCT IN 6 MILLION YEARS. 1394 00:44:49,754 --> 00:44:51,220 HAS DECLINED AND THAT MEN COULD GO EXTINCT IN 6 MILLION YEARS. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 1395 00:44:51,222 --> 00:44:53,923 GO EXTINCT IN 6 MILLION YEARS. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] YEAH. 1396 00:44:53,925 --> 00:44:55,224 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] YEAH. SO LADIES, HANG IN THERE, YOU'LL 1397 00:44:55,226 --> 00:44:58,494 YEAH. SO LADIES, HANG IN THERE, YOU'LL GET YOUR LITTLE PRESIDENT. 1398 00:44:58,496 --> 00:45:08,037 SO LADIES, HANG IN THERE, YOU'LL GET YOUR LITTLE PRESIDENT. [ LAUGHTER AND MOANS ] 1399 00:45:08,039 --> 00:45:09,605 GET YOUR LITTLE PRESIDENT. [ LAUGHTER AND MOANS ] >> A CHEER, A CHEER. 1400 00:45:09,607 --> 00:45:10,807 [ LAUGHTER AND MOANS ] >> A CHEER, A CHEER. >>> A GROWING NUMBER OF VISITORS 1401 00:45:10,809 --> 00:45:15,778 >> A CHEER, A CHEER. >>> A GROWING NUMBER OF VISITORS TO DISNEY WORLD ARE COMPLAINING 1402 00:45:15,780 --> 00:45:17,280 >>> A GROWING NUMBER OF VISITORS TO DISNEY WORLD ARE COMPLAINING THE WATER RIDE BAYOU ADVENTURE 1403 00:45:17,282 --> 00:45:19,482 TO DISNEY WORLD ARE COMPLAINING THE WATER RIDE BAYOU ADVENTURE IS LEAVING THEM TOO WET. 1404 00:45:19,484 --> 00:45:21,150 THE WATER RIDE BAYOU ADVENTURE IS LEAVING THEM TOO WET. WHICH IS A COMPLAINT USUALLY 1405 00:45:21,152 --> 00:45:22,885 IS LEAVING THEM TOO WET. WHICH IS A COMPLAINT USUALLY RESERVED FOR GASTON. 1406 00:45:22,887 --> 00:45:23,352 WHICH IS A COMPLAINT USUALLY RESERVED FOR GASTON. [ LAUGHTER ] 1407 00:45:23,354 --> 00:45:26,189 RESERVED FOR GASTON. [ LAUGHTER ] >>> THE ARCHBISHOP OF CANTERBURY 1408 00:45:26,191 --> 00:45:27,457 [ LAUGHTER ] >>> THE ARCHBISHOP OF CANTERBURY ANNOUNCED THAT HE IS RESIGNING 1409 00:45:27,459 --> 00:45:29,025 >>> THE ARCHBISHOP OF CANTERBURY ANNOUNCED THAT HE IS RESIGNING AFTER HE FAILED TO REPORT SEXUAL 1410 00:45:29,027 --> 00:45:30,893 ANNOUNCED THAT HE IS RESIGNING AFTER HE FAILED TO REPORT SEXUAL ABUSE CASES AT A CHRISTIAN 1411 00:45:30,895 --> 00:45:32,728 AFTER HE FAILED TO REPORT SEXUAL ABUSE CASES AT A CHRISTIAN SUMMER CAMP, SO FROM NOW ON THEY 1412 00:45:32,730 --> 00:45:36,032 ABUSE CASES AT A CHRISTIAN SUMMER CAMP, SO FROM NOW ON THEY WILL LIST IT IN THE OFFICIAL 1413 00:45:36,034 --> 00:45:36,399 SUMMER CAMP, SO FROM NOW ON THEY WILL LIST IT IN THE OFFICIAL ITINERARY. 1414 00:45:36,401 --> 00:45:46,209 WILL LIST IT IN THE OFFICIAL ITINERARY. [ LAUGHTER AND MOANS ] 1415 00:45:46,211 --> 00:45:49,912 ITINERARY. [ LAUGHTER AND MOANS ] >>> McHALE HAS APOLOGIZED AFTER 1416 00:45:49,914 --> 00:45:51,314 [ LAUGHTER AND MOANS ] >>> McHALE HAS APOLOGIZED AFTER MISTAKENLY PRINTING THE WEB 1417 00:45:51,316 --> 00:45:52,849 >>> McHALE HAS APOLOGIZED AFTER MISTAKENLY PRINTING THE WEB ADDRESS OF A PORN SITE ON THE 1418 00:45:52,851 --> 00:45:54,951 MISTAKENLY PRINTING THE WEB ADDRESS OF A PORN SITE ON THE PACKAGE OF NEW "WICKED" DOLLS. 1419 00:45:54,953 --> 00:45:56,219 ADDRESS OF A PORN SITE ON THE PACKAGE OF NEW "WICKED" DOLLS. A SIMPLE MISTAKE. 1420 00:45:56,221 --> 00:46:03,426 PACKAGE OF NEW "WICKED" DOLLS. A SIMPLE MISTAKE. THE BOX WAS SUPPOSED TO READ 1421 00:46:03,428 --> 00:46:03,960 A SIMPLE MISTAKE. THE BOX WAS SUPPOSED TO READ "WICKEDMOVIE.COM." 1422 00:46:03,962 --> 00:46:04,694 THE BOX WAS SUPPOSED TO READ "WICKEDMOVIE.COM." INSTEAD THEY PRINTED 1423 00:46:04,696 --> 00:46:05,595 "WICKEDMOVIE.COM." INSTEAD THEY PRINTED "CHOKEMEJEFFGOLDBLUM.COM!" 1424 00:46:05,597 --> 00:46:08,498 INSTEAD THEY PRINTED "CHOKEMEJEFFGOLDBLUM.COM!" [ LAUGHTER ] 1425 00:46:08,500 --> 00:46:10,099 "CHOKEMEJEFFGOLDBLUM.COM!" [ LAUGHTER ] >>> EXPERTS ARE SAYING THE BEST 1426 00:46:10,101 --> 00:46:11,901 [ LAUGHTER ] >>> EXPERTS ARE SAYING THE BEST WAY TO GET A GOOD NIGHT'S SLEEP 1427 00:46:11,903 --> 00:46:13,336 >>> EXPERTS ARE SAYING THE BEST WAY TO GET A GOOD NIGHT'S SLEEP IS CUT OUT CAFFEINE TEN HOURS 1428 00:46:13,338 --> 00:46:15,505 WAY TO GET A GOOD NIGHT'S SLEEP IS CUT OUT CAFFEINE TEN HOURS BEFORE BED, ALCOHOL THREE HOURS 1429 00:46:15,507 --> 00:46:16,873 IS CUT OUT CAFFEINE TEN HOURS BEFORE BED, ALCOHOL THREE HOURS BEFORE, WORK TWO HOURS BEFORE, 1430 00:46:16,875 --> 00:46:19,041 BEFORE BED, ALCOHOL THREE HOURS BEFORE, WORK TWO HOURS BEFORE, AND AVOID DEVICES ONE HOUR 1431 00:46:19,043 --> 00:46:19,375 BEFORE, WORK TWO HOURS BEFORE, AND AVOID DEVICES ONE HOUR BEFORE. 1432 00:46:19,377 --> 00:46:20,810 AND AVOID DEVICES ONE HOUR BEFORE. OR YOU CAN JUST RUB ONE OUT LIKE 1433 00:46:20,812 --> 00:46:22,945 BEFORE. OR YOU CAN JUST RUB ONE OUT LIKE AN ADULT. 1434 00:46:22,947 --> 00:46:24,614 OR YOU CAN JUST RUB ONE OUT LIKE AN ADULT. [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE ] 1435 00:46:24,616 --> 00:46:26,883 AN ADULT. [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE ] THAT'S WHAT EXPERTS ARE SAYING, 1436 00:46:26,885 --> 00:46:27,183 [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE ] THAT'S WHAT EXPERTS ARE SAYING, COLIN. 1437 00:46:27,185 --> 00:46:29,118 THAT'S WHAT EXPERTS ARE SAYING, COLIN. >> LISTEN TO THAT GUY APPLAUD. 1438 00:46:29,120 --> 00:46:32,021 COLIN. >> LISTEN TO THAT GUY APPLAUD. >>> NEW YORK'S BELOVED SQUIRREL 1439 00:46:32,023 --> 00:46:33,456 >> LISTEN TO THAT GUY APPLAUD. >>> NEW YORK'S BELOVED SQUIRREL PEANUT, WHO BECAME FAMOUS ON 1440 00:46:33,458 --> 00:46:35,091 >>> NEW YORK'S BELOVED SQUIRREL PEANUT, WHO BECAME FAMOUS ON INSTAGRAM FOR HIS CUTE LITTLE 1441 00:46:35,093 --> 00:46:36,692 PEANUT, WHO BECAME FAMOUS ON INSTAGRAM FOR HIS CUTE LITTLE OUTFITS, THEN WAS CAPTURED BY 1442 00:46:36,694 --> 00:46:38,895 INSTAGRAM FOR HIS CUTE LITTLE OUTFITS, THEN WAS CAPTURED BY WILDLIFE OFFICIALS AND 1443 00:46:38,897 --> 00:46:41,397 OUTFITS, THEN WAS CAPTURED BY WILDLIFE OFFICIALS AND EUTHANIZED, BUT HE CONTINUES TO 1444 00:46:41,399 --> 00:46:42,565 WILDLIFE OFFICIALS AND EUTHANIZED, BUT HE CONTINUES TO FUEL DEBATE SURROUNDING 1445 00:46:42,567 --> 00:46:44,367 EUTHANIZED, BUT HE CONTINUES TO FUEL DEBATE SURROUNDING OWNERSHIP OF WILD ANIMALS. 1446 00:46:44,369 --> 00:46:45,935 FUEL DEBATE SURROUNDING OWNERSHIP OF WILD ANIMALS. HERE WITH HER THOUGHTS ON THE 1447 00:46:45,937 --> 00:46:49,672 OWNERSHIP OF WILD ANIMALS. HERE WITH HER THOUGHTS ON THE MATTER IS PEANUT A'S WIDOW. 1448 00:46:49,674 --> 00:46:50,439 HERE WITH HER THOUGHTS ON THE MATTER IS PEANUT A'S WIDOW. >> HI, COLIN. 1449 00:46:50,441 --> 00:46:51,140 MATTER IS PEANUT A'S WIDOW. >> HI, COLIN. >> HI, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR 1450 00:46:51,142 --> 00:46:51,707 >> HI, COLIN. >> HI, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR BEING HERE, MRS. NUT. 1451 00:46:51,709 --> 00:46:53,609 >> HI, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR BEING HERE, MRS. NUT. >> PLEASE, CALL ME HAZEL. 1452 00:46:53,611 --> 00:46:56,512 BEING HERE, MRS. NUT. >> PLEASE, CALL ME HAZEL. [ LAUGHTER ] 1453 00:46:56,514 --> 00:46:57,513 >> PLEASE, CALL ME HAZEL. [ LAUGHTER ] >> OKAY, HAZEL. 1454 00:46:57,515 --> 00:46:58,147 [ LAUGHTER ] >> OKAY, HAZEL. HOW ARE YOU HANDLING YOUR 1455 00:46:58,149 --> 00:47:00,516 >> OKAY, HAZEL. HOW ARE YOU HANDLING YOUR HUSBAND'S DEATH? 1456 00:47:00,518 --> 00:47:02,418 HOW ARE YOU HANDLING YOUR HUSBAND'S DEATH? >> OH, JUST SO HARD TO BE THRUST 1457 00:47:02,420 --> 00:47:04,587 HUSBAND'S DEATH? >> OH, JUST SO HARD TO BE THRUST IN THE MEDIA SPOTLIGHT, COLIN. 1458 00:47:04,589 --> 00:47:06,055 >> OH, JUST SO HARD TO BE THRUST IN THE MEDIA SPOTLIGHT, COLIN. I'M USED TO DO REGULAR SQUIRREL 1459 00:47:06,057 --> 00:47:08,457 IN THE MEDIA SPOTLIGHT, COLIN. I'M USED TO DO REGULAR SQUIRREL STUFF, LIKE CHASING MY OWN TAIL 1460 00:47:08,459 --> 00:47:10,293 I'M USED TO DO REGULAR SQUIRREL STUFF, LIKE CHASING MY OWN TAIL OR RUNNING INTO THE MIDDLE OF A 1461 00:47:10,295 --> 00:47:11,127 STUFF, LIKE CHASING MY OWN TAIL OR RUNNING INTO THE MIDDLE OF A STREET, SEEING A CAR, THEN -- 1462 00:47:11,129 --> 00:47:15,731 OR RUNNING INTO THE MIDDLE OF A STREET, SEEING A CAR, THEN -- [ LAUGHTER ] 1463 00:47:15,733 --> 00:47:21,637 STREET, SEEING A CAR, THEN -- [ LAUGHTER ] >> HAZEL, HAZEL. 1464 00:47:21,639 --> 00:47:22,572 [ LAUGHTER ] >> HAZEL, HAZEL. >> I'M BACK. 1465 00:47:22,574 --> 00:47:23,339 >> HAZEL, HAZEL. >> I'M BACK. >> WELCOME BACK. 1466 00:47:23,341 --> 00:47:24,006 >> I'M BACK. >> WELCOME BACK. TELL ME A LITTLE BIT ABOUT 1467 00:47:24,008 --> 00:47:25,074 >> WELCOME BACK. TELL ME A LITTLE BIT ABOUT PEANUT. 1468 00:47:25,076 --> 00:47:25,841 TELL ME A LITTLE BIT ABOUT PEANUT. >> ACTUALLY, PEANUT WAS HIS 1469 00:47:25,843 --> 00:47:26,576 PEANUT. >> ACTUALLY, PEANUT WAS HIS HUMAN NAME. 1470 00:47:26,578 --> 00:47:27,843 >> ACTUALLY, PEANUT WAS HIS HUMAN NAME. HIS LEGAL SQUIRREL NAME WAS -- 1471 00:47:27,845 --> 00:47:32,682 HUMAN NAME. HIS LEGAL SQUIRREL NAME WAS -- [ CHATTERING ] 1472 00:47:32,684 --> 00:47:34,183 HIS LEGAL SQUIRREL NAME WAS -- [ CHATTERING ] [ LAUGHTER ] 1473 00:47:34,185 --> 00:47:37,453 [ CHATTERING ] [ LAUGHTER ] AND HE WAS A SOCIAL MEDIA STAR. 1474 00:47:37,455 --> 00:47:38,454 [ LAUGHTER ] AND HE WAS A SOCIAL MEDIA STAR. HE WORE LITTLE COWBOY HATS ON 1475 00:47:38,456 --> 00:47:39,188 AND HE WAS A SOCIAL MEDIA STAR. HE WORE LITTLE COWBOY HATS ON INSTAGRAM. 1476 00:47:39,190 --> 00:47:40,690 HE WORE LITTLE COWBOY HATS ON INSTAGRAM. HE STUFFED HIS CHEEKS ON 1477 00:47:40,692 --> 00:47:45,261 INSTAGRAM. HE STUFFED HIS CHEEKS ON ONLYFANS. 1478 00:47:45,263 --> 00:47:46,963 HE STUFFED HIS CHEEKS ON ONLYFANS. BOTH SETS. 1479 00:47:46,965 --> 00:47:47,363 ONLYFANS. BOTH SETS. [ LAUGHTER ] 1480 00:47:47,365 --> 00:47:47,730 BOTH SETS. [ LAUGHTER ] >> OKAY. 1481 00:47:47,732 --> 00:47:49,398 [ LAUGHTER ] >> OKAY. >> AND HE WAS THE LOVE OF MY 1482 00:47:49,400 --> 00:47:50,233 >> OKAY. >> AND HE WAS THE LOVE OF MY LIFE, COLIN. 1483 00:47:50,235 --> 00:47:51,434 >> AND HE WAS THE LOVE OF MY LIFE, COLIN. I KEEP THINKING ABOUT THE DAY WE 1484 00:47:51,436 --> 00:47:51,701 LIFE, COLIN. I KEEP THINKING ABOUT THE DAY WE MET. 1485 00:47:51,703 --> 00:47:55,104 I KEEP THINKING ABOUT THE DAY WE MET. I WAS MINDING MY OWN BUSINESS BY 1486 00:47:55,106 --> 00:47:57,473 MET. I WAS MINDING MY OWN BUSINESS BY A TREE, SQUIRKING. 1487 00:47:57,475 --> 00:47:58,174 I WAS MINDING MY OWN BUSINESS BY A TREE, SQUIRKING. >> SQUIRKING? 1488 00:47:58,176 --> 00:47:58,908 A TREE, SQUIRKING. >> SQUIRKING? >> WHEN A SQUIRREL SHAKES THEIR 1489 00:47:58,910 --> 00:47:59,642 >> SQUIRKING? >> WHEN A SQUIRREL SHAKES THEIR ENTIRE BODY TO ATTRACT A MATE, 1490 00:47:59,644 --> 00:48:01,911 >> WHEN A SQUIRREL SHAKES THEIR ENTIRE BODY TO ATTRACT A MATE, LIKE THIS. 1491 00:48:01,913 --> 00:48:06,616 ENTIRE BODY TO ATTRACT A MATE, LIKE THIS. [ LAUGHTER ] 1492 00:48:06,618 --> 00:48:08,417 LIKE THIS. [ LAUGHTER ] >> OKAY, YEAH, YOU LOOK A LITTLE 1493 00:48:08,419 --> 00:48:08,718 [ LAUGHTER ] >> OKAY, YEAH, YOU LOOK A LITTLE NUTS. 1494 00:48:08,720 --> 00:48:09,051 >> OKAY, YEAH, YOU LOOK A LITTLE NUTS. >> NUTS? 1495 00:48:09,053 --> 00:48:09,352 NUTS. >> NUTS? WHERE? 1496 00:48:09,354 --> 00:48:10,486 >> NUTS? WHERE? [ LAUGHTER ] 1497 00:48:10,488 --> 00:48:12,455 WHERE? [ LAUGHTER ] >> THERE AREN'T ANY NUTS HERE. 1498 00:48:12,457 --> 00:48:13,189 [ LAUGHTER ] >> THERE AREN'T ANY NUTS HERE. >> SAID THE DOCTOR AT YOUR 1499 00:48:13,191 --> 00:48:14,790 >> THERE AREN'T ANY NUTS HERE. >> SAID THE DOCTOR AT YOUR PHYSICAL. 1500 00:48:14,792 --> 00:48:20,730 >> SAID THE DOCTOR AT YOUR PHYSICAL. [ LAUGHTER ] 1501 00:48:20,732 --> 00:48:23,332 PHYSICAL. [ LAUGHTER ] >> GET YOUR TAIL AWAY FROM ME. 1502 00:48:23,334 --> 00:48:24,333 [ LAUGHTER ] >> GET YOUR TAIL AWAY FROM ME. >> OH, COME ON. 1503 00:48:24,335 --> 00:48:25,701 >> GET YOUR TAIL AWAY FROM ME. >> OH, COME ON. I'M IN MOURNING, COLIN. 1504 00:48:25,703 --> 00:48:29,872 >> OH, COME ON. I'M IN MOURNING, COLIN. I NEED TOUCH. 1505 00:48:29,874 --> 00:48:31,140 I'M IN MOURNING, COLIN. I NEED TOUCH. >> WHAT EXACTLY HAPPENED TO YOUR 1506 00:48:31,142 --> 00:48:32,208 I NEED TOUCH. >> WHAT EXACTLY HAPPENED TO YOUR LATE HUSBAND, PEANUT? 1507 00:48:32,210 --> 00:48:34,243 >> WHAT EXACTLY HAPPENED TO YOUR LATE HUSBAND, PEANUT? >> WELL, THE COPS RAIDED OUR 1508 00:48:34,245 --> 00:48:36,512 LATE HUSBAND, PEANUT? >> WELL, THE COPS RAIDED OUR HOUSE, AND THEN PEANUT BIT ONE. 1509 00:48:36,514 --> 00:48:38,080 >> WELL, THE COPS RAIDED OUR HOUSE, AND THEN PEANUT BIT ONE. LIKE A DAMN HERO. 1510 00:48:38,082 --> 00:48:39,682 HOUSE, AND THEN PEANUT BIT ONE. LIKE A DAMN HERO. HAVE YOU EVER BIT A COP, COLIN? 1511 00:48:39,684 --> 00:48:41,350 LIKE A DAMN HERO. HAVE YOU EVER BIT A COP, COLIN? >> WHY WOULD I BITE THE HAND 1512 00:48:41,352 --> 00:48:46,522 HAVE YOU EVER BIT A COP, COLIN? >> WHY WOULD I BITE THE HAND THAT FEEDS ME PINK COCAINE? 1513 00:48:46,524 --> 00:48:46,922 >> WHY WOULD I BITE THE HAND THAT FEEDS ME PINK COCAINE? [ LAUGHTER ] 1514 00:48:46,924 --> 00:48:47,790 THAT FEEDS ME PINK COCAINE? [ LAUGHTER ] >> RELAX. 1515 00:48:47,792 --> 00:48:52,295 [ LAUGHTER ] >> RELAX. ANYWAYS. 1516 00:48:52,297 --> 00:48:54,030 >> RELAX. ANYWAYS. THEY ABDUCTED PEANUT AND CHOPPED 1517 00:48:54,032 --> 00:48:56,098 ANYWAYS. THEY ABDUCTED PEANUT AND CHOPPED HIS HEAD OFF IN A RABIES TEST. 1518 00:48:56,100 --> 00:48:58,100 THEY ABDUCTED PEANUT AND CHOPPED HIS HEAD OFF IN A RABIES TEST. THAT'S HOW THEY TEST FOR RABIES, 1519 00:48:58,102 --> 00:48:58,401 HIS HEAD OFF IN A RABIES TEST. THAT'S HOW THEY TEST FOR RABIES, COLIN. 1520 00:48:58,403 --> 00:48:59,935 THAT'S HOW THEY TEST FOR RABIES, COLIN. CAN YOU IMAGINE THAT? 1521 00:48:59,937 --> 00:49:02,505 COLIN. CAN YOU IMAGINE THAT? IF THEY CHOPPED OFF YOUR PENIS 1522 00:49:02,507 --> 00:49:04,206 CAN YOU IMAGINE THAT? IF THEY CHOPPED OFF YOUR PENIS EVERY TIME YOU TESTED POSITIVE 1523 00:49:04,208 --> 00:49:05,541 IF THEY CHOPPED OFF YOUR PENIS EVERY TIME YOU TESTED POSITIVE FOR CHLAMYDIA? 1524 00:49:05,543 --> 00:49:05,975 EVERY TIME YOU TESTED POSITIVE FOR CHLAMYDIA? [ LAUGHTER ] 1525 00:49:05,977 --> 00:49:07,443 FOR CHLAMYDIA? [ LAUGHTER ] >> I'VE NEVER TESTED POSITIVE 1526 00:49:07,445 --> 00:49:08,511 [ LAUGHTER ] >> I'VE NEVER TESTED POSITIVE FOR CHLAMYDIA. 1527 00:49:08,513 --> 00:49:10,980 >> I'VE NEVER TESTED POSITIVE FOR CHLAMYDIA. >> IGNORANCE IS BLISS. 1528 00:49:10,982 --> 00:49:13,215 FOR CHLAMYDIA. >> IGNORANCE IS BLISS. KEEP SLINGING THAT STEAK, AM I 1529 00:49:13,217 --> 00:49:14,116 >> IGNORANCE IS BLISS. KEEP SLINGING THAT STEAK, AM I RIGHT, BROTHER? 1530 00:49:14,118 --> 00:49:14,917 KEEP SLINGING THAT STEAK, AM I RIGHT, BROTHER? [ LAUGHTER ] 1531 00:49:14,919 --> 00:49:15,618 RIGHT, BROTHER? [ LAUGHTER ] >> KEEP YOUR TAIL OUT OF MY 1532 00:49:15,620 --> 00:49:15,918 [ LAUGHTER ] >> KEEP YOUR TAIL OUT OF MY FACE. 1533 00:49:15,920 --> 00:49:17,553 >> KEEP YOUR TAIL OUT OF MY FACE. >> FINE, OKAY. 1534 00:49:17,555 --> 00:49:18,821 FACE. >> FINE, OKAY. OH! 1535 00:49:18,823 --> 00:49:24,160 >> FINE, OKAY. OH! [ LAUGHTER ] 1536 00:49:24,162 --> 00:49:24,760 OH! [ LAUGHTER ] FOUND A COUPLE ACORNS. 1537 00:49:24,762 --> 00:49:25,094 [ LAUGHTER ] FOUND A COUPLE ACORNS. >> OKAY. 1538 00:49:25,096 --> 00:49:28,431 FOUND A COUPLE ACORNS. >> OKAY. [ LAUGHTER ] 1539 00:49:28,433 --> 00:49:31,400 >> OKAY. [ LAUGHTER ] HAZEL, I HOPE YOU CAN FIND SOME 1540 00:49:31,402 --> 00:49:32,134 [ LAUGHTER ] HAZEL, I HOPE YOU CAN FIND SOME CLOSURE AND FINALLY MOVE ON WITH 1541 00:49:32,136 --> 00:49:32,635 HAZEL, I HOPE YOU CAN FIND SOME CLOSURE AND FINALLY MOVE ON WITH YOUR LIFE. 1542 00:49:32,637 --> 00:49:33,769 CLOSURE AND FINALLY MOVE ON WITH YOUR LIFE. >> OH, WHAT LIFE? 1543 00:49:33,771 --> 00:49:34,403 YOUR LIFE. >> OH, WHAT LIFE? I'M A WIDOW AT 4, COLIN. 1544 00:49:34,405 --> 00:49:37,106 >> OH, WHAT LIFE? I'M A WIDOW AT 4, COLIN. [ LAUGHTER ] 1545 00:49:37,108 --> 00:49:38,307 I'M A WIDOW AT 4, COLIN. [ LAUGHTER ] THAT'S SO OLD THAT THE ONLY 1546 00:49:38,309 --> 00:49:41,844 [ LAUGHTER ] THAT'S SO OLD THAT THE ONLY PERSON WHO WANTS TO HIT IT IS 1547 00:49:41,846 --> 00:49:42,845 THAT'S SO OLD THAT THE ONLY PERSON WHO WANTS TO HIT IT IS JAKE PAUL. 1548 00:49:42,847 --> 00:49:45,147 PERSON WHO WANTS TO HIT IT IS JAKE PAUL. [ LAUGHTER AND MOANS ] 1549 00:49:45,149 --> 00:49:46,382 JAKE PAUL. [ LAUGHTER AND MOANS ] I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE, I'M 1550 00:49:46,384 --> 00:49:46,782 [ LAUGHTER AND MOANS ] I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE, I'M GOING NUTS. 1551 00:49:46,784 --> 00:49:47,083 I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE, I'M GOING NUTS. NUTS? 1552 00:49:47,085 --> 00:49:47,383 GOING NUTS. NUTS? WHERE? 1553 00:49:47,385 --> 00:49:50,186 NUTS? WHERE? [ LAUGHTER ] 1554 00:49:50,188 --> 00:49:52,154 WHERE? [ LAUGHTER ] >> YOU'RE THE ONE WHO JUST SAID 1555 00:49:52,156 --> 00:49:52,588 [ LAUGHTER ] >> YOU'RE THE ONE WHO JUST SAID NUTS. 1556 00:49:52,590 --> 00:49:54,490 >> YOU'RE THE ONE WHO JUST SAID NUTS. >> I'M SO ALONE. 1557 00:49:54,492 --> 00:49:58,894 NUTS. >> I'M SO ALONE. TOUCH ME, COLIN. 1558 00:49:58,896 --> 00:50:00,129 >> I'M SO ALONE. TOUCH ME, COLIN. >> IT'S IN MY MOUTH. 1559 00:50:00,131 --> 00:50:02,898 TOUCH ME, COLIN. >> IT'S IN MY MOUTH. >> OH, COME ON. 1560 00:50:02,900 --> 00:50:03,666 >> IT'S IN MY MOUTH. >> OH, COME ON. YOUR HINGE PROFILE SAID YOU LOVE 1561 00:50:03,668 --> 00:50:06,302 >> OH, COME ON. YOUR HINGE PROFILE SAID YOU LOVE BUSH. 1562 00:50:06,304 --> 00:50:07,870 YOUR HINGE PROFILE SAID YOU LOVE BUSH. [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE ] 1563 00:50:07,872 --> 00:50:09,839 BUSH. [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE ] >> I MEANT PRESIDENT BIDEN. 1564 00:50:09,841 --> 00:50:10,306 [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE ] >> I MEANT PRESIDENT BIDEN. PEANUT'S WIDOW! 1565 00:50:10,308 --> 00:50:27,022 >> I MEANT PRESIDENT BIDEN. PEANUT'S WIDOW! [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 1566 00:50:27,024 --> 00:50:28,958 PEANUT'S WIDOW! [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] >>> THANKS FOR INVITING ME TO 1567 00:50:28,960 --> 00:50:30,893 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] >>> THANKS FOR INVITING ME TO THIS ACTING CLASS, I'VE NEVER 1568 00:50:30,895 --> 00:50:31,794 >>> THANKS FOR INVITING ME TO THIS ACTING CLASS, I'VE NEVER DONE ONE SPECIFICALLY ABOUT 1569 00:50:31,796 --> 00:50:32,495 THIS ACTING CLASS, I'VE NEVER DONE ONE SPECIFICALLY ABOUT AUDITIONING FOR COMMERCIALS. 1570 00:50:32,497 --> 00:50:34,964 DONE ONE SPECIFICALLY ABOUT AUDITIONING FOR COMMERCIALS. >> HEY, NO PROBLEM. 1571 00:50:34,966 --> 00:50:37,333 AUDITIONING FOR COMMERCIALS. >> HEY, NO PROBLEM. I HEAR THIS TEACHER THEODORE IS 1572 00:50:37,335 --> 00:50:37,767 >> HEY, NO PROBLEM. I HEAR THIS TEACHER THEODORE IS REALLY GOOD. 1573 00:50:37,769 --> 00:50:39,468 I HEAR THIS TEACHER THEODORE IS REALLY GOOD. >> REALLY GOOD? 1574 00:50:39,470 --> 00:50:40,169 REALLY GOOD. >> REALLY GOOD? TRY VERY GOOD. 1575 00:50:40,171 --> 00:50:42,705 >> REALLY GOOD? TRY VERY GOOD. THANKS TO HIM, I ALMOST BECAME 1576 00:50:42,707 --> 00:50:44,740 TRY VERY GOOD. THANKS TO HIM, I ALMOST BECAME THE FACE OF MUCINEX. 1577 00:50:44,742 --> 00:50:46,809 THANKS TO HIM, I ALMOST BECAME THE FACE OF MUCINEX. >> HELLO, SORRY I'M LATE, I 1578 00:50:46,811 --> 00:50:47,977 THE FACE OF MUCINEX. >> HELLO, SORRY I'M LATE, I PARKED IN A CRAZY WAY. 1579 00:50:47,979 --> 00:50:48,944 >> HELLO, SORRY I'M LATE, I PARKED IN A CRAZY WAY. WELCOME TO COMMERCIAL ACTING 1580 00:50:48,946 --> 00:50:50,980 PARKED IN A CRAZY WAY. WELCOME TO COMMERCIAL ACTING WHERE THE NUMBER ONE RULE IS, 1581 00:50:50,982 --> 00:50:52,681 WELCOME TO COMMERCIAL ACTING WHERE THE NUMBER ONE RULE IS, YOU'RE NOT SELLING A PRODUCT, 1582 00:50:52,683 --> 00:50:54,150 WHERE THE NUMBER ONE RULE IS, YOU'RE NOT SELLING A PRODUCT, YOU'RE TELLING A STORY. 1583 00:50:54,152 --> 00:50:54,717 YOU'RE NOT SELLING A PRODUCT, YOU'RE TELLING A STORY. SHOW ME SOMETHING. 1584 00:50:54,719 --> 00:50:57,119 YOU'RE TELLING A STORY. SHOW ME SOMETHING. >> ME AND LACI HAVE BEEN WORKING 1585 00:50:57,121 --> 00:50:59,822 SHOW ME SOMETHING. >> ME AND LACI HAVE BEEN WORKING ON A SCENE FROM A SKYRIZI 1586 00:50:59,824 --> 00:51:00,222 >> ME AND LACI HAVE BEEN WORKING ON A SCENE FROM A SKYRIZI COMMERCIAL. 1587 00:51:00,224 --> 00:51:01,223 ON A SCENE FROM A SKYRIZI COMMERCIAL. >> I DON'T WANT TO GO OUT 1588 00:51:01,225 --> 00:51:03,292 COMMERCIAL. >> I DON'T WANT TO GO OUT TONIGHT BECAUSE OF MY PLAQUE 1589 00:51:03,294 --> 00:51:03,692 >> I DON'T WANT TO GO OUT TONIGHT BECAUSE OF MY PLAQUE PSORIASIS. 1590 00:51:03,694 --> 00:51:05,861 TONIGHT BECAUSE OF MY PLAQUE PSORIASIS. >> FOR ME, I DON'T HAVE TO HIDE 1591 00:51:05,863 --> 00:51:07,296 PSORIASIS. >> FOR ME, I DON'T HAVE TO HIDE BECAUSE I USE SKYRIZI. 1592 00:51:07,298 --> 00:51:07,930 >> FOR ME, I DON'T HAVE TO HIDE BECAUSE I USE SKYRIZI. >> CUT! 1593 00:51:07,932 --> 00:51:08,264 BECAUSE I USE SKYRIZI. >> CUT! WRONG. 1594 00:51:08,266 --> 00:51:08,597 >> CUT! WRONG. >> OH. 1595 00:51:08,599 --> 00:51:16,539 WRONG. >> OH. >> GET AWAY FROM ME! 1596 00:51:16,541 --> 00:51:17,907 >> OH. >> GET AWAY FROM ME! >> FAVORITE STUDENT, DO A LINE 1597 00:51:17,909 --> 00:51:18,674 >> GET AWAY FROM ME! >> FAVORITE STUDENT, DO A LINE FROM THE AUDITION. 1598 00:51:18,676 --> 00:51:21,210 >> FAVORITE STUDENT, DO A LINE FROM THE AUDITION. >> MUCINEX IS THE BEST PRODUCT 1599 00:51:21,212 --> 00:51:21,544 FROM THE AUDITION. >> MUCINEX IS THE BEST PRODUCT AROUND. 1600 00:51:21,546 --> 00:51:23,612 >> MUCINEX IS THE BEST PRODUCT AROUND. >> HIT PRODUCT, PRODUCT IS THE 1601 00:51:23,614 --> 00:51:23,913 AROUND. >> HIT PRODUCT, PRODUCT IS THE WORD. 1602 00:51:23,915 --> 00:51:25,748 >> HIT PRODUCT, PRODUCT IS THE WORD. >> MUCINEX IS THE BEST PRODUCT 1603 00:51:25,750 --> 00:51:26,081 WORD. >> MUCINEX IS THE BEST PRODUCT AROUND. 1604 00:51:26,083 --> 00:51:27,783 >> MUCINEX IS THE BEST PRODUCT AROUND. >> GIVE ME MUCINEX, PRODUCT, 1605 00:51:27,785 --> 00:51:30,085 AROUND. >> GIVE ME MUCINEX, PRODUCT, FOUR SECONDS, AROUND. 1606 00:51:30,087 --> 00:51:32,288 >> GIVE ME MUCINEX, PRODUCT, FOUR SECONDS, AROUND. >> FIVE, SIX, SEVEN, EIGHT -- 1607 00:51:32,290 --> 00:51:32,988 FOUR SECONDS, AROUND. >> FIVE, SIX, SEVEN, EIGHT -- >> AROUND! 1608 00:51:32,990 --> 00:51:34,924 >> FIVE, SIX, SEVEN, EIGHT -- >> AROUND! >> THAT'S WHY SHE ALMOST GOT THE 1609 00:51:34,926 --> 00:51:35,191 >> AROUND! >> THAT'S WHY SHE ALMOST GOT THE JOB. 1610 00:51:35,193 --> 00:51:36,959 >> THAT'S WHY SHE ALMOST GOT THE JOB. >> OKAY, HOW IS IT GOOD IF SHE 1611 00:51:36,961 --> 00:51:37,993 JOB. >> OKAY, HOW IS IT GOOD IF SHE DIDN'T EVEN GET THE JOB? 1612 00:51:37,995 --> 00:51:40,496 >> OKAY, HOW IS IT GOOD IF SHE DIDN'T EVEN GET THE JOB? >> OH, I'M SORRY, CAN YOU RUN 1613 00:51:40,498 --> 00:51:41,831 DIDN'T EVEN GET THE JOB? >> OH, I'M SORRY, CAN YOU RUN THROUGH YOUR CREDITS REAL QUICK? 1614 00:51:41,833 --> 00:51:43,299 >> OH, I'M SORRY, CAN YOU RUN THROUGH YOUR CREDITS REAL QUICK? THAT'S RIGHT, YOU DON'T HAVE 1615 00:51:43,301 --> 00:51:43,666 THROUGH YOUR CREDITS REAL QUICK? THAT'S RIGHT, YOU DON'T HAVE ANY. 1616 00:51:43,668 --> 00:51:45,668 THAT'S RIGHT, YOU DON'T HAVE ANY. ME, ON THE OTHER HAND, I HAVE 1617 00:51:45,670 --> 00:51:46,435 ANY. ME, ON THE OTHER HAND, I HAVE THREE. 1618 00:51:46,437 --> 00:51:47,670 ME, ON THE OTHER HAND, I HAVE THREE. ONE, "FEAR FACTOR." 1619 00:51:47,672 --> 00:51:49,538 THREE. ONE, "FEAR FACTOR." ATE A BUNCH OF WORMS AND STILL 1620 00:51:49,540 --> 00:51:49,839 ONE, "FEAR FACTOR." ATE A BUNCH OF WORMS AND STILL LOST. 1621 00:51:49,841 --> 00:51:52,174 ATE A BUNCH OF WORMS AND STILL LOST. TWO, "MILKMAN NOR." 1622 00:51:52,176 --> 00:51:53,843 LOST. TWO, "MILKMAN NOR." ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH MY 1623 00:51:53,845 --> 00:51:55,544 TWO, "MILKMAN NOR." ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH MY OWN MOM. 1624 00:51:55,546 --> 00:51:57,012 ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH MY OWN MOM. AND THREE -- I GUESS I ONLY HAVE 1625 00:51:57,014 --> 00:51:57,279 OWN MOM. AND THREE -- I GUESS I ONLY HAVE TWO. 1626 00:51:57,281 --> 00:51:58,647 AND THREE -- I GUESS I ONLY HAVE TWO. THANK YOU, AND YOU'RE WELCOME. 1627 00:51:58,649 --> 00:51:59,982 TWO. THANK YOU, AND YOU'RE WELCOME. >> GEEZ, SORRY. 1628 00:51:59,984 --> 00:52:01,283 THANK YOU, AND YOU'RE WELCOME. >> GEEZ, SORRY. >> ALL RIGHT, GUYS. 1629 00:52:01,285 --> 00:52:02,618 >> GEEZ, SORRY. >> ALL RIGHT, GUYS. NOW LET'S GO DEEP. 1630 00:52:02,620 --> 00:52:02,918 >> ALL RIGHT, GUYS. NOW LET'S GO DEEP. OKAY? 1631 00:52:02,920 --> 00:52:04,887 NOW LET'S GO DEEP. OKAY? THE KEY TO ACTING IS ACCESSING 1632 00:52:04,889 --> 00:52:05,221 OKAY? THE KEY TO ACTING IS ACCESSING TRAUMA. 1633 00:52:05,223 --> 00:52:06,755 THE KEY TO ACTING IS ACCESSING TRAUMA. WHAT IS THE WORST THING THAT 1634 00:52:06,757 --> 00:52:08,023 TRAUMA. WHAT IS THE WORST THING THAT HAPPENED TO YOU? 1635 00:52:08,025 --> 00:52:08,290 WHAT IS THE WORST THING THAT HAPPENED TO YOU? YOU? 1636 00:52:08,292 --> 00:52:09,792 HAPPENED TO YOU? YOU? >> OH, ME? 1637 00:52:09,794 --> 00:52:11,660 YOU? >> OH, ME? UM -- WELL, I'VE NEVER SHARED 1638 00:52:11,662 --> 00:52:13,229 >> OH, ME? UM -- WELL, I'VE NEVER SHARED THIS WITH ANYONE BEFORE, BUT ONE 1639 00:52:13,231 --> 00:52:14,730 UM -- WELL, I'VE NEVER SHARED THIS WITH ANYONE BEFORE, BUT ONE DAY WHEN I WAS LITTLE, I WENT 1640 00:52:14,732 --> 00:52:16,198 THIS WITH ANYONE BEFORE, BUT ONE DAY WHEN I WAS LITTLE, I WENT FISHING WITH DAD AND A WAVE 1641 00:52:16,200 --> 00:52:17,566 DAY WHEN I WAS LITTLE, I WENT FISHING WITH DAD AND A WAVE HIT US, AND HE FELL OFF THE 1642 00:52:17,568 --> 00:52:19,969 FISHING WITH DAD AND A WAVE HIT US, AND HE FELL OFF THE BOAT, AND I NEVER SAW HIM AGAIN. 1643 00:52:19,971 --> 00:52:22,438 HIT US, AND HE FELL OFF THE BOAT, AND I NEVER SAW HIM AGAIN. [ LAUGHTER ] 1644 00:52:22,440 --> 00:52:23,506 BOAT, AND I NEVER SAW HIM AGAIN. [ LAUGHTER ] >> OH, SORRY. 1645 00:52:23,508 --> 00:52:25,140 [ LAUGHTER ] >> OH, SORRY. I JUST GOT A CRAZY TEXT. 1646 00:52:25,142 --> 00:52:25,908 >> OH, SORRY. I JUST GOT A CRAZY TEXT. BUT THE GOOD NEWS IS, I AM NOT 1647 00:52:25,910 --> 00:52:26,308 I JUST GOT A CRAZY TEXT. BUT THE GOOD NEWS IS, I AM NOT THE FATHER. 1648 00:52:26,310 --> 00:52:30,112 BUT THE GOOD NEWS IS, I AM NOT THE FATHER. [ LAUGHTER ] 1649 00:52:30,114 --> 00:52:32,181 THE FATHER. [ LAUGHTER ] READ ME SOME COPY FROM TARGET. 1650 00:52:32,183 --> 00:52:33,849 [ LAUGHTER ] READ ME SOME COPY FROM TARGET. >> WHEN I NEED GROCERIES, 1651 00:52:33,851 --> 00:52:35,851 READ ME SOME COPY FROM TARGET. >> WHEN I NEED GROCERIES, CLOTHES, OR TOWELS, I GO TO 1652 00:52:35,853 --> 00:52:36,185 >> WHEN I NEED GROCERIES, CLOTHES, OR TOWELS, I GO TO TARGET. 1653 00:52:36,187 --> 00:52:37,286 CLOTHES, OR TOWELS, I GO TO TARGET. >> GOOD, NOT GREAT. 1654 00:52:37,288 --> 00:52:39,655 TARGET. >> GOOD, NOT GREAT. EMPHASIS ON CLOTHES, TOWELS AND 1655 00:52:39,657 --> 00:52:39,955 >> GOOD, NOT GREAT. EMPHASIS ON CLOTHES, TOWELS AND TWO. 1656 00:52:39,957 --> 00:52:43,559 EMPHASIS ON CLOTHES, TOWELS AND TWO. >> WHEN I NEED GROCERIES, 1657 00:52:43,561 --> 00:52:46,095 TWO. >> WHEN I NEED GROCERIES, CLOTHES OR TOWELS, I GO TO 1658 00:52:46,097 --> 00:52:46,428 >> WHEN I NEED GROCERIES, CLOTHES OR TOWELS, I GO TO TARGET. 1659 00:52:46,430 --> 00:52:48,063 CLOTHES OR TOWELS, I GO TO TARGET. >> YOU TWO, GET UP AND BEGIN A 1660 00:52:48,065 --> 00:52:48,764 TARGET. >> YOU TWO, GET UP AND BEGIN A SCENE, PLEASE. 1661 00:52:48,766 --> 00:52:50,132 >> YOU TWO, GET UP AND BEGIN A SCENE, PLEASE. GO, GO, GO, GO, GO. 1662 00:52:50,134 --> 00:52:52,701 SCENE, PLEASE. GO, GO, GO, GO, GO. >> WOULD YOU GRAB ME A CUP OF 1663 00:52:52,703 --> 00:52:54,203 GO, GO, GO, GO, GO. >> WOULD YOU GRAB ME A CUP OF THE FINEST BREW IN TOWN? 1664 00:52:54,205 --> 00:52:56,705 >> WOULD YOU GRAB ME A CUP OF THE FINEST BREW IN TOWN? >> ONEBLUE BOTTLE COFFEE COMING 1665 00:52:56,707 --> 00:52:56,972 THE FINEST BREW IN TOWN? >> ONEBLUE BOTTLE COFFEE COMING UP. 1666 00:52:56,974 --> 00:52:59,742 >> ONEBLUE BOTTLE COFFEE COMING UP. >> WRONG, WRONG, BAD, CUT, AWAY, 1667 00:52:59,744 --> 00:53:00,042 UP. >> WRONG, WRONG, BAD, CUT, AWAY, AWAY. 1668 00:53:00,044 --> 00:53:01,877 >> WRONG, WRONG, BAD, CUT, AWAY, AWAY. NEVER TURN AWAY FROM THE CAMERA. 1669 00:53:01,879 --> 00:53:04,146 AWAY. NEVER TURN AWAY FROM THE CAMERA. WHEN YOU'RE IN A SCENE, YOU WANT 1670 00:53:04,148 --> 00:53:05,281 NEVER TURN AWAY FROM THE CAMERA. WHEN YOU'RE IN A SCENE, YOU WANT THE AUDIENCE TO SEE YOU. 1671 00:53:05,283 --> 00:53:06,448 WHEN YOU'RE IN A SCENE, YOU WANT THE AUDIENCE TO SEE YOU. KEEP IT NATURAL. 1672 00:53:06,450 --> 00:53:06,782 THE AUDIENCE TO SEE YOU. KEEP IT NATURAL. WATCH. 1673 00:53:06,784 --> 00:53:08,551 KEEP IT NATURAL. WATCH. OH, YOU WANT A COFFEE? 1674 00:53:08,553 --> 00:53:09,018 WATCH. OH, YOU WANT A COFFEE? I'LL GO GET IT. 1675 00:53:09,020 --> 00:53:09,618 OH, YOU WANT A COFFEE? I'LL GO GET IT. THEN YOU WALK LIKE THIS. 1676 00:53:09,620 --> 00:53:11,820 I'LL GO GET IT. THEN YOU WALK LIKE THIS. [ LAUGHTER ] 1677 00:53:11,822 --> 00:53:13,088 THEN YOU WALK LIKE THIS. [ LAUGHTER ] GRAB THE COFFEE. 1678 00:53:13,090 --> 00:53:13,489 [ LAUGHTER ] GRAB THE COFFEE. COME BACK. 1679 00:53:13,491 --> 00:53:14,123 GRAB THE COFFEE. COME BACK. NOW WE'RE HAVING A COFFEE 1680 00:53:14,125 --> 00:53:16,458 COME BACK. NOW WE'RE HAVING A COFFEE TOGETHER. 1681 00:53:16,460 --> 00:53:18,527 NOW WE'RE HAVING A COFFEE TOGETHER. >> THAT DOESN'T LOOK NATURAL AT 1682 00:53:18,529 --> 00:53:18,827 TOGETHER. >> THAT DOESN'T LOOK NATURAL AT ALL. 1683 00:53:18,829 --> 00:53:19,662 >> THAT DOESN'T LOOK NATURAL AT ALL. >> DAVID, LET ME SHOW YOU 1684 00:53:19,664 --> 00:53:20,029 ALL. >> DAVID, LET ME SHOW YOU SOMETHING. 1685 00:53:20,031 --> 00:53:20,963 >> DAVID, LET ME SHOW YOU SOMETHING. THIS IS WHAT IT'S LIKE TO BE IN 1686 00:53:20,965 --> 00:53:22,598 SOMETHING. THIS IS WHAT IT'S LIKE TO BE IN A SCENE WITH YOU, OKAY? 1687 00:53:22,600 --> 00:53:23,132 THIS IS WHAT IT'S LIKE TO BE IN A SCENE WITH YOU, OKAY? SAY SOMETHING. 1688 00:53:23,134 --> 00:53:28,103 A SCENE WITH YOU, OKAY? SAY SOMETHING. >> UH -- OKAY, HEY -- 1689 00:53:28,105 --> 00:53:30,172 SAY SOMETHING. >> UH -- OKAY, HEY -- >> NO, NO! 1690 00:53:30,174 --> 00:53:31,273 >> UH -- OKAY, HEY -- >> NO, NO! >> HI, HOW -- 1691 00:53:31,275 --> 00:53:33,776 >> NO, NO! >> HI, HOW -- >> STOP TALKING TO ME, TALK TO 1692 00:53:33,778 --> 00:53:34,109 >> HI, HOW -- >> STOP TALKING TO ME, TALK TO ALYSSA. 1693 00:53:34,111 --> 00:53:36,445 >> STOP TALKING TO ME, TALK TO ALYSSA. >> CAN I JUST -- OH, MY GOD! 1694 00:53:36,447 --> 00:53:39,448 ALYSSA. >> CAN I JUST -- OH, MY GOD! WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO BE 1695 00:53:39,450 --> 00:53:41,951 >> CAN I JUST -- OH, MY GOD! WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO BE LEARNING FROM THIS? 1696 00:53:41,953 --> 00:53:42,351 WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO BE LEARNING FROM THIS? >> EXACTLY. 1697 00:53:42,353 --> 00:53:43,419 LEARNING FROM THIS? >> EXACTLY. ALYSSA AND I GOING TO DO AN 1698 00:53:43,421 --> 00:53:43,786 >> EXACTLY. ALYSSA AND I GOING TO DO AN EXERCISE. 1699 00:53:43,788 --> 00:53:45,020 ALYSSA AND I GOING TO DO AN EXERCISE. YELL OUT A COMPANY, WE WILL GIVE 1700 00:53:45,022 --> 00:53:45,688 EXERCISE. YELL OUT A COMPANY, WE WILL GIVE A PERFECT AD READ OF THEIR 1701 00:53:45,690 --> 00:53:47,556 YELL OUT A COMPANY, WE WILL GIVE A PERFECT AD READ OF THEIR SLOGAN. 1702 00:53:47,558 --> 00:53:48,257 A PERFECT AD READ OF THEIR SLOGAN. >> I DON'T KNOW, CAPITAL ONE? 1703 00:53:48,259 --> 00:53:50,893 SLOGAN. >> I DON'T KNOW, CAPITAL ONE? >> OKAY. 1704 00:53:50,895 --> 00:53:52,661 >> I DON'T KNOW, CAPITAL ONE? >> OKAY. >> HERE, USE MY CREDIT CARD. 1705 00:53:52,663 --> 00:53:53,696 >> OKAY. >> HERE, USE MY CREDIT CARD. >> WHAT'S IN YOUR WALLET! 1706 00:53:53,698 --> 00:54:00,269 >> HERE, USE MY CREDIT CARD. >> WHAT'S IN YOUR WALLET! [ LAUGHTER ] 1707 00:54:00,271 --> 00:54:01,971 >> WHAT'S IN YOUR WALLET! [ LAUGHTER ] CHILLS, I GAVE MYSELF CHILLS. 1708 00:54:01,973 --> 00:54:03,672 [ LAUGHTER ] CHILLS, I GAVE MYSELF CHILLS. GIVE US ANOTHER ONE, PLEASE. 1709 00:54:03,674 --> 00:54:05,441 CHILLS, I GAVE MYSELF CHILLS. GIVE US ANOTHER ONE, PLEASE. >> O'REILLY'S AUTO PARTS. 1710 00:54:05,443 --> 00:54:06,709 GIVE US ANOTHER ONE, PLEASE. >> O'REILLY'S AUTO PARTS. >> PERFECT. 1711 00:54:06,711 --> 00:54:07,242 >> O'REILLY'S AUTO PARTS. >> PERFECT. ALYSSA, GO AHEAD. 1712 00:54:07,244 --> 00:54:10,613 >> PERFECT. ALYSSA, GO AHEAD. >> OH, OH, OH-OH RILEY! 1713 00:54:10,615 --> 00:54:13,182 ALYSSA, GO AHEAD. >> OH, OH, OH-OH RILEY! >> AUTO PARTS. 1714 00:54:13,184 --> 00:54:15,250 >> OH, OH, OH-OH RILEY! >> AUTO PARTS. OKAY, NOW LET'S GO BURGER KING. 1715 00:54:15,252 --> 00:54:16,085 >> AUTO PARTS. OKAY, NOW LET'S GO BURGER KING. YOU START. 1716 00:54:16,087 --> 00:54:17,753 OKAY, NOW LET'S GO BURGER KING. YOU START. >> I'M HUNGRY, WHAT SHOULD I 1717 00:54:17,755 --> 00:54:18,020 YOU START. >> I'M HUNGRY, WHAT SHOULD I EAT? 1718 00:54:18,022 --> 00:54:18,887 >> I'M HUNGRY, WHAT SHOULD I EAT? >> I WANT SUSHI. 1719 00:54:18,889 --> 00:54:19,655 EAT? >> I WANT SUSHI. >> I WANT A BURGER. 1720 00:54:19,657 --> 00:54:21,991 >> I WANT SUSHI. >> I WANT A BURGER. >> FINE, HAVE IT YOUR WAY! 1721 00:54:21,993 --> 00:54:22,391 >> I WANT A BURGER. >> FINE, HAVE IT YOUR WAY! [ LAUGHTER ] 1722 00:54:22,393 --> 00:54:26,362 >> FINE, HAVE IT YOUR WAY! [ LAUGHTER ] [ APPLAUSE ] 1723 00:54:26,364 --> 00:54:28,731 [ LAUGHTER ] [ APPLAUSE ] NOW ALYSSA AND I ARE GOING TO 1724 00:54:28,733 --> 00:54:29,498 [ APPLAUSE ] NOW ALYSSA AND I ARE GOING TO IMPROVISE AN ENTIRE COMMERCIAL. 1725 00:54:29,500 --> 00:54:31,834 NOW ALYSSA AND I ARE GOING TO IMPROVISE AN ENTIRE COMMERCIAL. GIVE US A PRODUCT, ANY PRODUCT. 1726 00:54:31,836 --> 00:54:32,735 IMPROVISE AN ENTIRE COMMERCIAL. GIVE US A PRODUCT, ANY PRODUCT. >> PAPER TOWELS. 1727 00:54:32,737 --> 00:54:33,769 GIVE US A PRODUCT, ANY PRODUCT. >> PAPER TOWELS. >> PERFECT. 1728 00:54:33,771 --> 00:54:34,136 >> PAPER TOWELS. >> PERFECT. GO AHEAD. 1729 00:54:34,138 --> 00:54:36,071 >> PERFECT. GO AHEAD. >> MY HOUSE IS A MESS! 1730 00:54:36,073 --> 00:54:37,106 GO AHEAD. >> MY HOUSE IS A MESS! >> USE THESE! 1731 00:54:37,108 --> 00:54:38,040 >> MY HOUSE IS A MESS! >> USE THESE! >> BUT WHY? 1732 00:54:38,042 --> 00:54:38,774 >> USE THESE! >> BUT WHY? >> THEY'RE THE BEST. 1733 00:54:38,776 --> 00:54:39,775 >> BUT WHY? >> THEY'RE THE BEST. >> ARE THEY GOOD? 1734 00:54:39,777 --> 00:54:40,409 >> THEY'RE THE BEST. >> ARE THEY GOOD? >> NO. 1735 00:54:40,411 --> 00:54:41,276 >> ARE THEY GOOD? >> NO. >> ARE YOU HUNGRY? 1736 00:54:41,278 --> 00:54:42,011 >> NO. >> ARE YOU HUNGRY? >> I'M STARVING. 1737 00:54:42,013 --> 00:54:42,411 >> ARE YOU HUNGRY? >> I'M STARVING. >> OKAY. 1738 00:54:42,413 --> 00:54:43,879 >> I'M STARVING. >> OKAY. >> LET'S GO TO SLEEP. 1739 00:54:43,881 --> 00:54:44,780 >> OKAY. >> LET'S GO TO SLEEP. AND SCENE! 1740 00:54:44,782 --> 00:54:46,281 >> LET'S GO TO SLEEP. AND SCENE! OH, MY GOD, YES, I LOVE YOU! 1741 00:54:46,283 --> 00:54:48,517 AND SCENE! OH, MY GOD, YES, I LOVE YOU! >> OH, MY GOD, I LOVE YOU, MY 1742 00:54:48,519 --> 00:54:49,018 OH, MY GOD, YES, I LOVE YOU! >> OH, MY GOD, I LOVE YOU, MY BEAUTIFUL HUSBAND! 1743 00:54:49,020 --> 00:54:51,220 >> OH, MY GOD, I LOVE YOU, MY BEAUTIFUL HUSBAND! >> WAIT, THEY'RE MARRIED? 1744 00:54:51,222 --> 00:54:52,421 BEAUTIFUL HUSBAND! >> WAIT, THEY'RE MARRIED? >> OF COURSE WE ARE. 1745 00:54:52,423 --> 00:54:53,389 >> WAIT, THEY'RE MARRIED? >> OF COURSE WE ARE. THAT'S OUR CLASS FOR TODAY. 1746 00:54:53,391 --> 00:54:54,556 >> OF COURSE WE ARE. THAT'S OUR CLASS FOR TODAY. WE WILL BE LEAVING. 1747 00:54:54,558 --> 00:55:15,611 THAT'S OUR CLASS FOR TODAY. WE WILL BE LEAVING. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 1748 00:55:15,613 --> 00:55:16,478 WE WILL BE LEAVING. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] >>> ONCE AGAIN, CHARLI XCX. 1749 00:55:16,480 --> 00:55:21,517 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] >>> ONCE AGAIN, CHARLI XCX. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 1750 00:55:21,519 --> 00:55:22,751 >>> ONCE AGAIN, CHARLI XCX. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] ¶¶ 1751 00:55:22,753 --> 00:55:24,253 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] ¶¶ ¶ I DON'T WANNA 1752 00:55:24,255 --> 00:55:25,754 ¶¶ ¶ I DON'T WANNA SHARE THE SPACE 1753 00:55:25,756 --> 00:55:27,256 ¶ I DON'T WANNA SHARE THE SPACE I DON'T WANNA 1754 00:55:27,258 --> 00:55:28,757 SHARE THE SPACE I DON'T WANNA FORCE A SMILE ¶ 1755 00:55:28,759 --> 00:55:30,759 I DON'T WANNA FORCE A SMILE ¶ ¶ THIS ONE GIRL 1756 00:55:30,761 --> 00:55:32,261 FORCE A SMILE ¶ ¶ THIS ONE GIRL TAPS MY INSECURITIES 1757 00:55:32,263 --> 00:55:34,530 ¶ THIS ONE GIRL TAPS MY INSECURITIES DON'T KNOW IF IT'S REAL 1758 00:55:34,532 --> 00:55:35,998 TAPS MY INSECURITIES DON'T KNOW IF IT'S REAL OR IF I'M SPIRALING ¶ 1759 00:55:36,000 --> 00:55:37,499 DON'T KNOW IF IT'S REAL OR IF I'M SPIRALING ¶ ¶ ONE VOICE 1760 00:55:37,501 --> 00:55:39,001 OR IF I'M SPIRALING ¶ ¶ ONE VOICE TELLS ME THAT THEY LAUGH ¶ 1761 00:55:39,003 --> 00:55:41,003 ¶ ONE VOICE TELLS ME THAT THEY LAUGH ¶ ¶ GEORGE SAYS 1762 00:55:41,005 --> 00:55:43,505 TELLS ME THAT THEY LAUGH ¶ ¶ GEORGE SAYS I'M JUST PARANOID 1763 00:55:43,507 --> 00:55:45,040 ¶ GEORGE SAYS I'M JUST PARANOID SAYS HE JUST DON'T SEE IT 1764 00:55:45,042 --> 00:55:47,009 I'M JUST PARANOID SAYS HE JUST DON'T SEE IT HE'S SO NAIVE ¶ 1765 00:55:47,011 --> 00:55:49,244 SAYS HE JUST DON'T SEE IT HE'S SO NAIVE ¶ ¶ I'M EMBARRASSED TO HAVE IT 1766 00:55:49,246 --> 00:55:51,280 HE'S SO NAIVE ¶ ¶ I'M EMBARRASSED TO HAVE IT BUT NEED THE SYMPATHY ¶ 1767 00:55:51,282 --> 00:55:52,514 ¶ I'M EMBARRASSED TO HAVE IT BUT NEED THE SYMPATHY ¶ ¶ 'CAUSE I 1768 00:55:52,516 --> 00:55:53,749 BUT NEED THE SYMPATHY ¶ ¶ 'CAUSE I COULDN'T EVEN BE HER 1769 00:55:53,751 --> 00:55:55,751 ¶ 'CAUSE I COULDN'T EVEN BE HER IF I TRIED ¶ 1770 00:55:55,753 --> 00:55:57,019 COULDN'T EVEN BE HER IF I TRIED ¶ ¶ I'M OPPOSITE 1771 00:55:57,021 --> 00:55:59,254 IF I TRIED ¶ ¶ I'M OPPOSITE I'M ON THE OTHER SIDE 1772 00:55:59,256 --> 00:56:00,489 ¶ I'M OPPOSITE I'M ON THE OTHER SIDE I FEEL ALL THESE FEELINGS 1773 00:56:00,491 --> 00:56:03,258 I'M ON THE OTHER SIDE I FEEL ALL THESE FEELINGS I CAN'T CONTROL ¶ 1774 00:56:03,260 --> 00:56:05,027 I FEEL ALL THESE FEELINGS I CAN'T CONTROL ¶ ¶ OH NO DON'T KNOW 1775 00:56:05,029 --> 00:56:06,228 I CAN'T CONTROL ¶ ¶ OH NO DON'T KNOW WHY 1776 00:56:06,230 --> 00:56:07,963 ¶ OH NO DON'T KNOW WHY ALL THIS SYMPATHY 1777 00:56:07,965 --> 00:56:10,032 WHY ALL THIS SYMPATHY IS JUST A KNIFE ¶ 1778 00:56:10,034 --> 00:56:11,767 ALL THIS SYMPATHY IS JUST A KNIFE ¶ ¶ WHY I CAN'T EVEN 1779 00:56:11,769 --> 00:56:13,769 IS JUST A KNIFE ¶ ¶ WHY I CAN'T EVEN GRIT MY TEETH AND LIE 1780 00:56:13,771 --> 00:56:15,270 ¶ WHY I CAN'T EVEN GRIT MY TEETH AND LIE I FEEL ALL THESE FEELINGS 1781 00:56:15,272 --> 00:56:17,506 GRIT MY TEETH AND LIE I FEEL ALL THESE FEELINGS I CAN'T CONTROL ¶ 1782 00:56:17,508 --> 00:56:21,009 I FEEL ALL THESE FEELINGS I CAN'T CONTROL ¶ ¶ OH NO DON'T KNOW 1783 00:56:21,011 --> 00:56:24,246 I CAN'T CONTROL ¶ ¶ OH NO DON'T KNOW WHY I WANNA BUY A GUN 1784 00:56:24,248 --> 00:56:27,249 ¶ OH NO DON'T KNOW WHY I WANNA BUY A GUN WHY I WANNA SHOOT MYSELF ¶ 1785 00:56:27,251 --> 00:56:28,984 WHY I WANNA BUY A GUN WHY I WANNA SHOOT MYSELF ¶ ¶ VOLATILE 1786 00:56:28,986 --> 00:56:31,253 WHY I WANNA SHOOT MYSELF ¶ ¶ VOLATILE AT WAR WITH MY DIALOGUE 1787 00:56:31,255 --> 00:56:32,788 ¶ VOLATILE AT WAR WITH MY DIALOGUE I'D SAY THAT THERE WAS A GOD 1788 00:56:32,790 --> 00:56:34,256 AT WAR WITH MY DIALOGUE I'D SAY THAT THERE WAS A GOD IF THEY COULD STOP THIS ¶ 1789 00:56:34,258 --> 00:56:36,258 I'D SAY THAT THERE WAS A GOD IF THEY COULD STOP THIS ¶ ¶ WILD VOICE 1790 00:56:36,260 --> 00:56:38,994 IF THEY COULD STOP THIS ¶ ¶ WILD VOICE TEARING ME APART 1791 00:56:38,996 --> 00:56:41,497 ¶ WILD VOICE TEARING ME APART I'M SO APPREHENSIVE NOW ¶ 1792 00:56:41,499 --> 00:56:42,765 TEARING ME APART I'M SO APPREHENSIVE NOW ¶ ¶ DON'T WANNA SEE HER 1793 00:56:42,767 --> 00:56:43,732 I'M SO APPREHENSIVE NOW ¶ ¶ DON'T WANNA SEE HER BACKSTAGE 1794 00:56:43,734 --> 00:56:44,733 ¶ DON'T WANNA SEE HER BACKSTAGE AT MY BOYFRIEND'S SHOW ¶ 1795 00:56:44,735 --> 00:56:45,734 BACKSTAGE AT MY BOYFRIEND'S SHOW ¶ ¶ FINGERS CROSSED 1796 00:56:45,736 --> 00:56:47,002 AT MY BOYFRIEND'S SHOW ¶ ¶ FINGERS CROSSED BEHIND MY BACK 1797 00:56:47,004 --> 00:56:49,738 ¶ FINGERS CROSSED BEHIND MY BACK I HOPE THEY BREAK UP QUICK ¶ 1798 00:56:49,740 --> 00:56:51,006 BEHIND MY BACK I HOPE THEY BREAK UP QUICK ¶ ¶ 'CAUSE I 1799 00:56:51,008 --> 00:56:52,508 I HOPE THEY BREAK UP QUICK ¶ ¶ 'CAUSE I COULDN'T EVEN BE HER 1800 00:56:52,510 --> 00:56:53,976 ¶ 'CAUSE I COULDN'T EVEN BE HER IF I TRIED ¶ 1801 00:56:53,978 --> 00:56:55,778 COULDN'T EVEN BE HER IF I TRIED ¶ ¶ I'M OPPOSITE 1802 00:56:55,780 --> 00:56:57,246 IF I TRIED ¶ ¶ I'M OPPOSITE I'M ON THE OTHER SIDE 1803 00:56:57,248 --> 00:56:58,514 ¶ I'M OPPOSITE I'M ON THE OTHER SIDE I FEEL ALL THESE FEELINGS 1804 00:56:58,516 --> 00:57:00,749 I'M ON THE OTHER SIDE I FEEL ALL THESE FEELINGS I CAN'T CONTROL ¶ 1805 00:57:00,751 --> 00:57:03,018 I FEEL ALL THESE FEELINGS I CAN'T CONTROL ¶ ¶ OH NO DON'T KNOW 1806 00:57:03,020 --> 00:57:04,486 I CAN'T CONTROL ¶ ¶ OH NO DON'T KNOW WHY 1807 00:57:04,488 --> 00:57:06,255 ¶ OH NO DON'T KNOW WHY ALL THIS SYMPATHY 1808 00:57:06,257 --> 00:57:08,757 WHY ALL THIS SYMPATHY IS JUST A KNIFE ¶ 1809 00:57:08,759 --> 00:57:10,025 ALL THIS SYMPATHY IS JUST A KNIFE ¶ ¶ WHY I CAN'T EVEN 1810 00:57:10,027 --> 00:57:11,760 IS JUST A KNIFE ¶ ¶ WHY I CAN'T EVEN GRIT MY TEETH AND LIE 1811 00:57:11,762 --> 00:57:13,228 ¶ WHY I CAN'T EVEN GRIT MY TEETH AND LIE I FEEL ALL THESE FEELINGS 1812 00:57:13,230 --> 00:57:15,764 GRIT MY TEETH AND LIE I FEEL ALL THESE FEELINGS I CAN'T CONTROL ¶ 1813 00:57:15,766 --> 00:57:16,999 I FEEL ALL THESE FEELINGS I CAN'T CONTROL ¶ ¶ OH NO 1814 00:57:17,001 --> 00:57:18,000 I CAN'T CONTROL ¶ ¶ OH NO ALL THIS SYMPATHY 1815 00:57:18,002 --> 00:57:19,501 ¶ OH NO ALL THIS SYMPATHY IS JUST A KNIFE ¶ 1816 00:57:19,503 --> 00:57:21,003 ALL THIS SYMPATHY IS JUST A KNIFE ¶ ¶ ALL THIS SYMPATHY 1817 00:57:21,005 --> 00:57:22,504 IS JUST A KNIFE ¶ ¶ ALL THIS SYMPATHY IS JUST A KNIFE 1818 00:57:22,506 --> 00:57:25,240 ¶ ALL THIS SYMPATHY IS JUST A KNIFE ALL THIS SYMPATHY 1819 00:57:25,242 --> 00:57:26,775 IS JUST A KNIFE ALL THIS SYMPATHY IS JUST A KNIFE ¶ 1820 00:57:26,777 --> 00:57:28,243 ALL THIS SYMPATHY IS JUST A KNIFE ¶ ¶ YEAH ALL THIS SYMPATHY 1821 00:57:28,245 --> 00:57:30,245 IS JUST A KNIFE ¶ ¶ YEAH ALL THIS SYMPATHY IS JUST A KNIFE 1822 00:57:30,247 --> 00:57:33,015 ¶ YEAH ALL THIS SYMPATHY IS JUST A KNIFE OH NO OH ¶ 1823 00:57:33,017 --> 00:57:35,017 IS JUST A KNIFE OH NO OH ¶ ¶ WHY 1824 00:57:35,019 --> 00:57:36,985 OH NO OH ¶ ¶ WHY IS ALL THIS SYMPATHY 1825 00:57:36,987 --> 00:57:38,253 ¶ WHY IS ALL THIS SYMPATHY A -- KNIFE? ¶ 1826 00:57:38,255 --> 00:57:39,488 IS ALL THIS SYMPATHY A -- KNIFE? ¶ ¶ YEAH ALL THIS SYMPATHY 1827 00:57:39,490 --> 00:57:40,789 A -- KNIFE? ¶ ¶ YEAH ALL THIS SYMPATHY IS JUST A KNIFE 1828 00:57:40,791 --> 00:57:42,758 ¶ YEAH ALL THIS SYMPATHY IS JUST A KNIFE COULDN'T EVEN BE HER 1829 00:57:42,760 --> 00:57:44,259 IS JUST A KNIFE COULDN'T EVEN BE HER IF I TRIED ¶ 1830 00:57:44,261 --> 00:57:47,229 COULDN'T EVEN BE HER IF I TRIED ¶ ¶ OH NO NO ¶ 1831 00:57:47,231 --> 00:58:08,517 IF I TRIED ¶ ¶ OH NO NO ¶ [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 1832 00:58:08,519 --> 00:58:09,017 ¶ OH NO NO ¶ [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] >>> THANKSGIVING. 1833 00:58:09,019 --> 00:58:10,552 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] >>> THANKSGIVING. A HOLIDAY AS OLD AS AMERICA 1834 00:58:10,554 --> 00:58:10,886 >>> THANKSGIVING. A HOLIDAY AS OLD AS AMERICA ITSELF. 1835 00:58:10,888 --> 00:58:13,188 A HOLIDAY AS OLD AS AMERICA ITSELF. THE PILGRIMS AND NATIVE 1836 00:58:13,190 --> 00:58:14,323 ITSELF. THE PILGRIMS AND NATIVE AMERICANS PROVED THEY'RE MORE 1837 00:58:14,325 --> 00:58:15,757 THE PILGRIMS AND NATIVE AMERICANS PROVED THEY'RE MORE ALIKE THAN DIFFERENT AS THEY 1838 00:58:15,759 --> 00:58:16,625 AMERICANS PROVED THEY'RE MORE ALIKE THAN DIFFERENT AS THEY LAUGHED, DRANK -- 1839 00:58:16,627 --> 00:58:22,531 ALIKE THAN DIFFERENT AS THEY LAUGHED, DRANK -- >> AND ATE, MAMA. 1840 00:58:22,533 --> 00:58:23,999 LAUGHED, DRANK -- >> AND ATE, MAMA. IT'S THE MILK THANKSGIVING 1841 00:58:24,001 --> 00:58:24,833 >> AND ATE, MAMA. IT'S THE MILK THANKSGIVING SPECIAL COMING TO YOU LIVE, I'M 1842 00:58:24,835 --> 00:58:30,038 IT'S THE MILK THANKSGIVING SPECIAL COMING TO YOU LIVE, I'M MARK JACOB. 1843 00:58:30,040 --> 00:58:32,040 SPECIAL COMING TO YOU LIVE, I'M MARK JACOB. >> AND I'M JULIA FOX. 1844 00:58:32,042 --> 00:58:36,245 MARK JACOB. >> AND I'M JULIA FOX. IT'S GIVING THANK YOU. 1845 00:58:36,247 --> 00:58:39,214 >> AND I'M JULIA FOX. IT'S GIVING THANK YOU. TONIGHT THIS TABLE IS STACKED 1846 00:58:39,216 --> 00:58:42,451 IT'S GIVING THANK YOU. TONIGHT THIS TABLE IS STACKED WITH CELEBRITIES PAST AND 1847 00:58:42,453 --> 00:58:43,151 TONIGHT THIS TABLE IS STACKED WITH CELEBRITIES PAST AND PRESENT LIKE SUPERMODEL NAOMI 1848 00:58:43,153 --> 00:58:44,886 WITH CELEBRITIES PAST AND PRESENT LIKE SUPERMODEL NAOMI CAMPBELL. 1849 00:58:44,888 --> 00:58:46,822 PRESENT LIKE SUPERMODEL NAOMI CAMPBELL. >> I'M GRATEFUL FOR MY FAMILY, 1850 00:58:46,824 --> 00:58:49,625 CAMPBELL. >> I'M GRATEFUL FOR MY FAMILY, I BROUGHT THE SUBSTANCE. 1851 00:58:49,627 --> 00:58:51,994 >> I'M GRATEFUL FOR MY FAMILY, I BROUGHT THE SUBSTANCE. >> NEXT IS POSH SPICE HERSELF, 1852 00:58:51,996 --> 00:58:52,794 I BROUGHT THE SUBSTANCE. >> NEXT IS POSH SPICE HERSELF, VICTORIA BECKHAM. 1853 00:58:52,796 --> 00:58:58,233 >> NEXT IS POSH SPICE HERSELF, VICTORIA BECKHAM. >> PILGRIM AND INDIGENOUS, ONE 1854 00:58:58,235 --> 00:58:59,001 VICTORIA BECKHAM. >> PILGRIM AND INDIGENOUS, ONE OF THE MOST ICONIC COLLABS SINCE 1855 00:58:59,003 --> 00:59:01,303 >> PILGRIM AND INDIGENOUS, ONE OF THE MOST ICONIC COLLABS SINCE ME AND DAVID. 1856 00:59:01,305 --> 00:59:02,504 OF THE MOST ICONIC COLLABS SINCE ME AND DAVID. I BROUGHT CREAM SPINACH. 1857 00:59:02,506 --> 00:59:04,906 ME AND DAVID. I BROUGHT CREAM SPINACH. >> SWEETIE, THAT'S FACE CREAM. 1858 00:59:04,908 --> 00:59:07,142 I BROUGHT CREAM SPINACH. >> SWEETIE, THAT'S FACE CREAM. >> UM -- YOU'RE RIGHT. 1859 00:59:07,144 --> 00:59:08,644 >> SWEETIE, THAT'S FACE CREAM. >> UM -- YOU'RE RIGHT. >> NEXT, SHE PUT THE BODY YADA 1860 00:59:08,646 --> 00:59:11,413 >> UM -- YOU'RE RIGHT. >> NEXT, SHE PUT THE BODY YADA YADA IN BODIES BODIES BODIES. 1861 00:59:11,415 --> 00:59:14,049 >> NEXT, SHE PUT THE BODY YADA YADA IN BODIES BODIES BODIES. WELCOME IT GIRL RACHEL SENNOT. 1862 00:59:14,051 --> 00:59:17,085 YADA IN BODIES BODIES BODIES. WELCOME IT GIRL RACHEL SENNOT. [ LAUGHTER ] 1863 00:59:17,087 --> 00:59:22,190 WELCOME IT GIRL RACHEL SENNOT. [ LAUGHTER ] >> PUMPKIN PIE IS VIBES. 1864 00:59:22,192 --> 00:59:25,227 [ LAUGHTER ] >> PUMPKIN PIE IS VIBES. I BROUGHT MY TWO BIG GOURDS. 1865 00:59:25,229 --> 00:59:27,062 >> PUMPKIN PIE IS VIBES. I BROUGHT MY TWO BIG GOURDS. >> IT GIRLS WERE IT BABIES 1866 00:59:27,064 --> 00:59:29,731 I BROUGHT MY TWO BIG GOURDS. >> IT GIRLS WERE IT BABIES ACTING CIRCLES AROUND UNCLE 1867 00:59:29,733 --> 00:59:34,303 >> IT GIRLS WERE IT BABIES ACTING CIRCLES AROUND UNCLE JESSE, IT'S THE OLSEN TWINS. 1868 00:59:34,305 --> 00:59:35,037 ACTING CIRCLES AROUND UNCLE JESSE, IT'S THE OLSEN TWINS. >> THIS IS FROM THE ROSE BLACK 1869 00:59:35,039 --> 00:59:39,107 JESSE, IT'S THE OLSEN TWINS. >> THIS IS FROM THE ROSE BLACK FRIDAY SALE. 1870 00:59:39,109 --> 00:59:40,642 >> THIS IS FROM THE ROSE BLACK FRIDAY SALE. >> WHERE EVERYTHING IS 20% ON. 1871 00:59:40,644 --> 00:59:41,410 FRIDAY SALE. >> WHERE EVERYTHING IS 20% ON. >> I BROUGHT A CIGARETTE 1872 00:59:41,412 --> 00:59:41,910 >> WHERE EVERYTHING IS 20% ON. >> I BROUGHT A CIGARETTE CASSEROLE. 1873 00:59:41,912 --> 00:59:42,644 >> I BROUGHT A CIGARETTE CASSEROLE. >> AND I BROUGHT LOADED MAC AND 1874 00:59:42,646 --> 00:59:43,178 CASSEROLE. >> AND I BROUGHT LOADED MAC AND CHEESE. 1875 00:59:43,180 --> 00:59:43,879 >> AND I BROUGHT LOADED MAC AND CHEESE. I DON'T THINK I GOT WHAT THIS 1876 00:59:43,881 --> 00:59:47,149 CHEESE. I DON'T THINK I GOT WHAT THIS WAS GOING TO BE. 1877 00:59:47,151 --> 00:59:48,383 I DON'T THINK I GOT WHAT THIS WAS GOING TO BE. >> AND WE KNOW WHAT YOU'RE 1878 00:59:48,385 --> 00:59:51,386 WAS GOING TO BE. >> AND WE KNOW WHAT YOU'RE THINKING. 1879 00:59:51,388 --> 00:59:52,154 >> AND WE KNOW WHAT YOU'RE THINKING. WHO THE "F" IS MAKING THE 1880 00:59:52,156 --> 00:59:54,022 THINKING. WHO THE "F" IS MAKING THE TURKEY? 1881 00:59:54,024 --> 00:59:54,790 WHO THE "F" IS MAKING THE TURKEY? >> OBVIOUSLY IT'S CHER. 1882 00:59:54,792 --> 00:59:55,524 TURKEY? >> OBVIOUSLY IT'S CHER. HOW'S IT COMING ALONG? 1883 00:59:55,526 --> 00:59:58,026 >> OBVIOUSLY IT'S CHER. HOW'S IT COMING ALONG? ¶ WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO ¶ 1884 00:59:58,028 --> 01:00:00,495 HOW'S IT COMING ALONG? ¶ WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO ¶ >> CHER, ARE YOU SCARED, CHER? 1885 01:00:00,497 --> 01:00:03,198 ¶ WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO ¶ >> CHER, ARE YOU SCARED, CHER? ¶ I DON'T KNOW WHY I DID THE 1886 01:00:03,200 --> 01:00:04,399 >> CHER, ARE YOU SCARED, CHER? ¶ I DON'T KNOW WHY I DID THE THINGS I DID ¶ 1887 01:00:04,401 --> 01:00:05,200 ¶ I DON'T KNOW WHY I DID THE THINGS I DID ¶ ¶ I DON'T KNOW WHY I PUT SPRITE 1888 01:00:05,202 --> 01:00:09,438 THINGS I DID ¶ ¶ I DON'T KNOW WHY I PUT SPRITE IN THE GRAVY ¶ 1889 01:00:09,440 --> 01:00:11,473 ¶ I DON'T KNOW WHY I PUT SPRITE IN THE GRAVY ¶ >> AND NOW IT GIRLS WOULD LIKE 1890 01:00:11,475 --> 01:00:12,074 IN THE GRAVY ¶ >> AND NOW IT GIRLS WOULD LIKE TO PERFORM THE STORY OF 1891 01:00:12,076 --> 01:00:13,775 >> AND NOW IT GIRLS WOULD LIKE TO PERFORM THE STORY OF THANKSGIVING. 1892 01:00:13,777 --> 01:00:14,810 TO PERFORM THE STORY OF THANKSGIVING. >> WHEN THE PILGRIMS ARRIVED IN 1893 01:00:14,812 --> 01:00:17,679 THANKSGIVING. >> WHEN THE PILGRIMS ARRIVED IN THE NEW WORLD, THEY WERE 1894 01:00:17,681 --> 01:00:18,313 >> WHEN THE PILGRIMS ARRIVED IN THE NEW WORLD, THEY WERE STARVED, ALONE, THEY KNEW 1895 01:00:18,315 --> 01:00:19,648 THE NEW WORLD, THEY WERE STARVED, ALONE, THEY KNEW NOTHING. 1896 01:00:19,650 --> 01:00:24,886 STARVED, ALONE, THEY KNEW NOTHING. AKA ME AT ZERO DOLL ON TUESDAY. 1897 01:00:24,888 --> 01:00:25,921 NOTHING. AKA ME AT ZERO DOLL ON TUESDAY. >> THE FATES OF AMERICANS WERE 1898 01:00:25,923 --> 01:00:27,422 AKA ME AT ZERO DOLL ON TUESDAY. >> THE FATES OF AMERICANS WERE FEASTING ON TURKEY. 1899 01:00:27,424 --> 01:00:29,391 >> THE FATES OF AMERICANS WERE FEASTING ON TURKEY. BUT THEN THE PARTY GOT SO LIT 1900 01:00:29,393 --> 01:00:33,161 FEASTING ON TURKEY. BUT THEN THE PARTY GOT SO LIT THAT THEY LET EVERYONE IN. 1901 01:00:33,163 --> 01:00:34,663 BUT THEN THE PARTY GOT SO LIT THAT THEY LET EVERYONE IN. EVEN THE YOUTUBERS AND ZACH 1902 01:00:34,665 --> 01:00:37,165 THAT THEY LET EVERYONE IN. EVEN THE YOUTUBERS AND ZACH BRAFF. 1903 01:00:37,167 --> 01:00:38,033 EVEN THE YOUTUBERS AND ZACH BRAFF. >> HM. 1904 01:00:38,035 --> 01:00:41,570 BRAFF. >> HM. WOW. 1905 01:00:41,572 --> 01:00:43,472 >> HM. WOW. WHAT A CLASSIC THANKSGIVING 1906 01:00:43,474 --> 01:00:43,872 WOW. WHAT A CLASSIC THANKSGIVING TALE. 1907 01:00:43,874 --> 01:00:45,974 WHAT A CLASSIC THANKSGIVING TALE. CHER, HOW'S THE TURKEY COMING 1908 01:00:45,976 --> 01:00:46,274 TALE. CHER, HOW'S THE TURKEY COMING ALONG? 1909 01:00:46,276 --> 01:00:51,012 CHER, HOW'S THE TURKEY COMING ALONG? ¶ IF I COULD TURN ON THE STOVE ¶ 1910 01:00:51,014 --> 01:00:53,982 ALONG? ¶ IF I COULD TURN ON THE STOVE ¶ EVEN MORE BAD NEWS, THIS YEAR'S 1911 01:00:53,984 --> 01:00:56,518 ¶ IF I COULD TURN ON THE STOVE ¶ EVEN MORE BAD NEWS, THIS YEAR'S TURKEY WAS ON OZEMPIC. 1912 01:00:56,520 --> 01:00:58,253 EVEN MORE BAD NEWS, THIS YEAR'S TURKEY WAS ON OZEMPIC. ¶ I DON'T THINK IT'S BAKING OH 1913 01:00:58,255 --> 01:00:58,653 TURKEY WAS ON OZEMPIC. ¶ I DON'T THINK IT'S BAKING OH NO ¶ 1914 01:00:58,655 --> 01:00:59,721 ¶ I DON'T THINK IT'S BAKING OH NO ¶ >> DON'T SWEAT IT, CHER. 1915 01:00:59,723 --> 01:01:02,023 NO ¶ >> DON'T SWEAT IT, CHER. WAIT, WHERE ARE THE OLSEN TWINS? 1916 01:01:02,025 --> 01:01:04,626 >> DON'T SWEAT IT, CHER. WAIT, WHERE ARE THE OLSEN TWINS? >> WE FELL IN. 1917 01:01:04,628 --> 01:01:05,026 WAIT, WHERE ARE THE OLSEN TWINS? >> WE FELL IN. [ LAUGHTER ] 1918 01:01:05,028 --> 01:01:05,560 >> WE FELL IN. [ LAUGHTER ] I CAN'T FIND ASHLEY. 1919 01:01:05,562 --> 01:01:05,927 [ LAUGHTER ] I CAN'T FIND ASHLEY. >> OH, NO. 1920 01:01:05,929 --> 01:01:08,397 I CAN'T FIND ASHLEY. >> OH, NO. THE OLSEN TWINS GOT LOST IN 1921 01:01:08,399 --> 01:01:09,164 >> OH, NO. THE OLSEN TWINS GOT LOST IN THEIR BIG-ASS COAT AGAIN, AND 1922 01:01:09,166 --> 01:01:09,898 THE OLSEN TWINS GOT LOST IN THEIR BIG-ASS COAT AGAIN, AND THEY DON'T GET CELL SERVICE IN 1923 01:01:09,900 --> 01:01:11,166 THEIR BIG-ASS COAT AGAIN, AND THEY DON'T GET CELL SERVICE IN THERE. 1924 01:01:11,168 --> 01:01:11,900 THEY DON'T GET CELL SERVICE IN THERE. >> OH, NO. 1925 01:01:11,902 --> 01:01:12,768 THERE. >> OH, NO. >> DON'T DESPAIR. 1926 01:01:12,770 --> 01:01:15,103 >> OH, NO. >> DON'T DESPAIR. [ LAUGHTER ] 1927 01:01:15,105 --> 01:01:18,974 >> DON'T DESPAIR. [ LAUGHTER ] [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 1928 01:01:18,976 --> 01:01:21,042 [ LAUGHTER ] [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] LaROCHE IS HERE. 1929 01:01:21,044 --> 01:01:21,777 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] LaROCHE IS HERE. THE BASICS DO A TURKEY TROT, BUT 1930 01:01:21,779 --> 01:01:25,781 LaROCHE IS HERE. THE BASICS DO A TURKEY TROT, BUT IT GIRLS DO A TURKEY STRUT. 1931 01:01:25,783 --> 01:01:26,982 THE BASICS DO A TURKEY TROT, BUT IT GIRLS DO A TURKEY STRUT. ¶ TURKEY TURKEY GOBBLE THIS 1932 01:01:26,984 --> 01:01:32,187 IT GIRLS DO A TURKEY STRUT. ¶ TURKEY TURKEY GOBBLE THIS TURKEY ¶ 1933 01:01:32,189 --> 01:01:32,954 ¶ TURKEY TURKEY GOBBLE THIS TURKEY ¶ ¶ SHE'S SAVING HERSELF FOR THE 1934 01:01:32,956 --> 01:01:37,926 TURKEY ¶ ¶ SHE'S SAVING HERSELF FOR THE MAIN COURSE ¶ 1935 01:01:37,928 --> 01:01:38,693 ¶ SHE'S SAVING HERSELF FOR THE MAIN COURSE ¶ ¶ WE ARE GIVING GIVING GIVING 1936 01:01:38,695 --> 01:01:42,831 MAIN COURSE ¶ ¶ WE ARE GIVING GIVING GIVING AND GLAMOR ¶ 1937 01:01:42,833 --> 01:01:43,999 ¶ WE ARE GIVING GIVING GIVING AND GLAMOR ¶ HEY, LEFT NO CRUMBS. 1938 01:01:44,001 --> 01:01:50,505 AND GLAMOR ¶ HEY, LEFT NO CRUMBS. TURKEY! 1939 01:01:50,507 --> 01:01:53,642 HEY, LEFT NO CRUMBS. TURKEY! >> THANK YOU, LAW. 1940 01:01:53,644 --> 01:01:55,577 TURKEY! >> THANK YOU, LAW. WE TURNED THAT TURKEY OUT, BUT 1941 01:01:55,579 --> 01:01:56,278 >> THANK YOU, LAW. WE TURNED THAT TURKEY OUT, BUT THE FOOD'S ALL OVER THE FLOOR 1942 01:01:56,280 --> 01:01:57,512 WE TURNED THAT TURKEY OUT, BUT THE FOOD'S ALL OVER THE FLOOR NOW. 1943 01:01:57,514 --> 01:01:58,246 THE FOOD'S ALL OVER THE FLOOR NOW. >> OMG, WE'LL JUST HAVE TO DO AS 1944 01:01:58,248 --> 01:02:02,150 NOW. >> OMG, WE'LL JUST HAVE TO DO AS THE PILGRIMS DID. 1945 01:02:02,152 --> 01:02:03,385 >> OMG, WE'LL JUST HAVE TO DO AS THE PILGRIMS DID. A GIRLS DINNER. 1946 01:02:03,387 --> 01:02:05,887 THE PILGRIMS DID. A GIRLS DINNER. >> AND STRUT IT OUT. 1947 01:02:05,889 --> 01:02:06,655 A GIRLS DINNER. >> AND STRUT IT OUT. ¶ DO YOU BELIEVE IN LIFE AFTER 1948 01:02:06,657 --> 01:02:08,023 >> AND STRUT IT OUT. ¶ DO YOU BELIEVE IN LIFE AFTER FOOD ¶ 1949 01:02:08,025 --> 01:02:27,542 ¶ DO YOU BELIEVE IN LIFE AFTER FOOD ¶ [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 1950 01:02:27,544 --> 01:02:28,276 FOOD ¶ [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] >>> GOD, THAT WAS AN INCREDIBLE 1951 01:02:28,278 --> 01:02:28,710 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] >>> GOD, THAT WAS AN INCREDIBLE SHOW. 1952 01:02:28,712 --> 01:02:29,978 >>> GOD, THAT WAS AN INCREDIBLE SHOW. THE SETS, THE SONGS, THE DONKEY. 1953 01:02:29,980 --> 01:02:31,947 SHOW. THE SETS, THE SONGS, THE DONKEY. NEED I GO ON? 1954 01:02:31,949 --> 01:02:33,181 THE SETS, THE SONGS, THE DONKEY. NEED I GO ON? >> YEAH, I CAN'T BELIEVE I'VE 1955 01:02:33,183 --> 01:02:34,182 NEED I GO ON? >> YEAH, I CAN'T BELIEVE I'VE NEVER SEEN "SHREK THE MUSICAL." 1956 01:02:34,184 --> 01:02:38,253 >> YEAH, I CAN'T BELIEVE I'VE NEVER SEEN "SHREK THE MUSICAL." >> YOU JUST DID. 1957 01:02:38,255 --> 01:02:38,687 NEVER SEEN "SHREK THE MUSICAL." >> YOU JUST DID. [ LAUGHTER ] 1958 01:02:38,689 --> 01:02:42,190 >> YOU JUST DID. [ LAUGHTER ] >> I MEANT BEFORE TONIGHT. 1959 01:02:42,192 --> 01:02:45,060 [ LAUGHTER ] >> I MEANT BEFORE TONIGHT. >> WAIT. 1960 01:02:45,062 --> 01:02:46,328 >> I MEANT BEFORE TONIGHT. >> WAIT. GUYS, WHERE'S LEILANI? 1961 01:02:46,330 --> 01:02:47,062 >> WAIT. GUYS, WHERE'S LEILANI? SHE'S BEEN IN THE BATHROOM FOR 1962 01:02:47,064 --> 01:02:47,462 GUYS, WHERE'S LEILANI? SHE'S BEEN IN THE BATHROOM FOR 15 MINUTES. 1963 01:02:47,464 --> 01:02:48,163 SHE'S BEEN IN THE BATHROOM FOR 15 MINUTES. >> ANY LONGER, WE'LL MISS OUR 1964 01:02:48,165 --> 01:02:48,797 15 MINUTES. >> ANY LONGER, WE'LL MISS OUR RESERVATION AT DOMINO'S. 1965 01:02:48,799 --> 01:02:49,798 >> ANY LONGER, WE'LL MISS OUR RESERVATION AT DOMINO'S. >> THEY TAKE RESERVATIONS? 1966 01:02:49,800 --> 01:02:51,099 RESERVATION AT DOMINO'S. >> THEY TAKE RESERVATIONS? >> IF YOU WANT A TABLE, THEY DO. 1967 01:02:51,101 --> 01:02:52,067 >> THEY TAKE RESERVATIONS? >> IF YOU WANT A TABLE, THEY DO. OH! 1968 01:02:52,069 --> 01:02:52,801 >> IF YOU WANT A TABLE, THEY DO. OH! IT FEELS WE'RE ALWAYS READY FOR 1969 01:02:52,803 --> 01:02:54,069 OH! IT FEELS WE'RE ALWAYS READY FOR LEILANI. 1970 01:02:54,071 --> 01:02:56,438 IT FEELS WE'RE ALWAYS READY FOR LEILANI. >> OKAY, BABES. 1971 01:02:56,440 --> 01:02:56,872 LEILANI. >> OKAY, BABES. ARE WE READY? 1972 01:02:56,874 --> 01:02:57,272 >> OKAY, BABES. ARE WE READY? [ LAUGHTER ] 1973 01:02:57,274 --> 01:03:02,677 ARE WE READY? [ LAUGHTER ] >> OH, MY GOD. 1974 01:03:02,679 --> 01:03:06,014 [ LAUGHTER ] >> OH, MY GOD. >> LEILANI, DID YOU JUST MAKE 1975 01:03:06,016 --> 01:03:06,414 >> OH, MY GOD. >> LEILANI, DID YOU JUST MAKE OUT WITH -- 1976 01:03:06,416 --> 01:03:06,815 >> LEILANI, DID YOU JUST MAKE OUT WITH -- >> NO! 1977 01:03:06,817 --> 01:03:09,050 OUT WITH -- >> NO! WHAT, NO! 1978 01:03:09,052 --> 01:03:09,818 >> NO! WHAT, NO! >> WHY IS YOUR MOUTH ALL GREEN, 1979 01:03:09,820 --> 01:03:10,552 WHAT, NO! >> WHY IS YOUR MOUTH ALL GREEN, GIRL? 1980 01:03:10,554 --> 01:03:11,319 >> WHY IS YOUR MOUTH ALL GREEN, GIRL? >> OH. 1981 01:03:11,321 --> 01:03:12,821 GIRL? >> OH. I WAS JUST DRINKING A SLUSHY. 1982 01:03:12,823 --> 01:03:15,323 >> OH. I WAS JUST DRINKING A SLUSHY. I MIX ALL THE FLAVORS TOGETHER 1983 01:03:15,325 --> 01:03:17,192 I WAS JUST DRINKING A SLUSHY. I MIX ALL THE FLAVORS TOGETHER TO MAKE A SUICIDE. 1984 01:03:17,194 --> 01:03:17,692 I MIX ALL THE FLAVORS TOGETHER TO MAKE A SUICIDE. SORRY, AN UNALIVE. 1985 01:03:17,694 --> 01:03:19,194 TO MAKE A SUICIDE. SORRY, AN UNALIVE. [ LAUGHTER ] 1986 01:03:19,196 --> 01:03:19,928 SORRY, AN UNALIVE. [ LAUGHTER ] THE COLOR WAS GREEN. 1987 01:03:19,930 --> 01:03:20,662 [ LAUGHTER ] THE COLOR WAS GREEN. AND THAT'S WHY IT'S ALL MY MOUTH 1988 01:03:20,664 --> 01:03:21,429 THE COLOR WAS GREEN. AND THAT'S WHY IT'S ALL MY MOUTH AND HANDS. 1989 01:03:21,431 --> 01:03:22,230 AND THAT'S WHY IT'S ALL MY MOUTH AND HANDS. >> YOU CLEARLY MADE OUT WITH 1990 01:03:22,232 --> 01:03:27,068 AND HANDS. >> YOU CLEARLY MADE OUT WITH SHREK. 1991 01:03:27,070 --> 01:03:28,303 >> YOU CLEARLY MADE OUT WITH SHREK. >> GET IT, GET REAL. 1992 01:03:28,305 --> 01:03:29,037 SHREK. >> GET IT, GET REAL. YOU GUYS ALWAYS DO THIS. 1993 01:03:29,039 --> 01:03:29,771 >> GET IT, GET REAL. YOU GUYS ALWAYS DO THIS. YOU ALWAYS ACCUSE ME OF HOOKING 1994 01:03:29,773 --> 01:03:32,707 YOU GUYS ALWAYS DO THIS. YOU ALWAYS ACCUSE ME OF HOOKING UP WITH CELEBRITIES. 1995 01:03:32,709 --> 01:03:34,543 YOU ALWAYS ACCUSE ME OF HOOKING UP WITH CELEBRITIES. >> YOU DO, LEILANI. 1996 01:03:34,545 --> 01:03:35,277 UP WITH CELEBRITIES. >> YOU DO, LEILANI. THE TIME WE WENT TO "DESPICABLE 1997 01:03:35,279 --> 01:03:37,479 >> YOU DO, LEILANI. THE TIME WE WENT TO "DESPICABLE ME ON ICE." 1998 01:03:37,481 --> 01:03:39,114 THE TIME WE WENT TO "DESPICABLE ME ON ICE." >> YOU WENT TO THE BATHROOM FOR 1999 01:03:39,116 --> 01:03:39,848 ME ON ICE." >> YOU WENT TO THE BATHROOM FOR 38 MINUTES AND CAME OUT WITH A 2000 01:03:39,850 --> 01:03:40,282 >> YOU WENT TO THE BATHROOM FOR 38 MINUTES AND CAME OUT WITH A YELLOW MOUTH. 2001 01:03:40,284 --> 01:03:42,384 38 MINUTES AND CAME OUT WITH A YELLOW MOUTH. [ LAUGHTER ] 2002 01:03:42,386 --> 01:03:42,884 YELLOW MOUTH. [ LAUGHTER ] >> YOU KNOW WHAT? 2003 01:03:42,886 --> 01:03:44,819 [ LAUGHTER ] >> YOU KNOW WHAT? THIS IS TOTALLY INAPPROPRIATE. 2004 01:03:44,821 --> 01:03:45,554 >> YOU KNOW WHAT? THIS IS TOTALLY INAPPROPRIATE. I'M GOING TO FIND THE DIRECTOR 2005 01:03:45,556 --> 01:03:46,321 THIS IS TOTALLY INAPPROPRIATE. I'M GOING TO FIND THE DIRECTOR AND TELL HIM, YES HIM, DIRECTORS 2006 01:03:46,323 --> 01:03:47,656 I'M GOING TO FIND THE DIRECTOR AND TELL HIM, YES HIM, DIRECTORS CAN BE MEN TOO. 2007 01:03:47,658 --> 01:03:50,292 AND TELL HIM, YES HIM, DIRECTORS CAN BE MEN TOO. [ LAUGHTER ] 2008 01:03:50,294 --> 01:03:51,893 CAN BE MEN TOO. [ LAUGHTER ] I'M GOING TO TELL HIM THAT HIS 2009 01:03:51,895 --> 01:03:53,562 [ LAUGHTER ] I'M GOING TO TELL HIM THAT HIS LEADING OGRE WAS SMASHMOUTHING 2010 01:03:53,564 --> 01:03:53,929 I'M GOING TO TELL HIM THAT HIS LEADING OGRE WAS SMASHMOUTHING MY FRIEND. 2011 01:03:53,931 --> 01:03:59,768 LEADING OGRE WAS SMASHMOUTHING MY FRIEND. EXCUSE ME. 2012 01:03:59,770 --> 01:04:01,903 MY FRIEND. EXCUSE ME. >> SO -- WHAT TOPPINGS ARE YOU 2013 01:04:01,905 --> 01:04:04,973 EXCUSE ME. >> SO -- WHAT TOPPINGS ARE YOU GUYS GOING TO GET ON YOUR PIZZA? 2014 01:04:04,975 --> 01:04:06,675 >> SO -- WHAT TOPPINGS ARE YOU GUYS GOING TO GET ON YOUR PIZZA? >> PABLO CHIMING IN FINALLY. 2015 01:04:06,677 --> 01:04:08,743 GUYS GOING TO GET ON YOUR PIZZA? >> PABLO CHIMING IN FINALLY. >> OH, SORRY. 2016 01:04:08,745 --> 01:04:11,246 >> PABLO CHIMING IN FINALLY. >> OH, SORRY. >> THREE CHATTY LADIES ON 2017 01:04:11,248 --> 01:04:12,581 >> OH, SORRY. >> THREE CHATTY LADIES ON ADDERALL AND THE GAY GUY, HARD 2018 01:04:12,583 --> 01:04:13,848 >> THREE CHATTY LADIES ON ADDERALL AND THE GAY GUY, HARD TO GET A WORD IN. 2019 01:04:13,850 --> 01:04:14,649 ADDERALL AND THE GAY GUY, HARD TO GET A WORD IN. >> HEY! 2020 01:04:14,651 --> 01:04:15,317 TO GET A WORD IN. >> HEY! I'M ON ADDERALL TOO! 2021 01:04:15,319 --> 01:04:16,952 >> HEY! I'M ON ADDERALL TOO! LAUGH PARAGRAPH 2022 01:04:16,954 --> 01:04:20,622 I'M ON ADDERALL TOO! LAUGH PARAGRAPH [ LAUGHTER ] 2023 01:04:20,624 --> 01:04:21,222 LAUGH PARAGRAPH [ LAUGHTER ] >> COULDN'T FIND ANYONE. 2024 01:04:21,224 --> 01:04:24,359 [ LAUGHTER ] >> COULDN'T FIND ANYONE. [ LAUGHTER ] 2025 01:04:24,361 --> 01:04:25,827 >> COULDN'T FIND ANYONE. [ LAUGHTER ] THEATER'S BASICALLY EMPTY. 2026 01:04:25,829 --> 01:04:26,561 [ LAUGHTER ] THEATER'S BASICALLY EMPTY. >> JANIECE, ARE YOU THE FOUR, 2027 01:04:26,563 --> 01:04:27,562 THEATER'S BASICALLY EMPTY. >> JANIECE, ARE YOU THE FOUR, FIVE, SIX LINE? 2028 01:04:27,564 --> 01:04:28,563 >> JANIECE, ARE YOU THE FOUR, FIVE, SIX LINE? YOU LOOK LIKE YOU DONE HAD A 2029 01:04:28,565 --> 01:04:29,331 FIVE, SIX LINE? YOU LOOK LIKE YOU DONE HAD A GREEN TRAIN RUN ON YOUR ASS. 2030 01:04:29,333 --> 01:04:33,368 YOU LOOK LIKE YOU DONE HAD A GREEN TRAIN RUN ON YOUR ASS. [ LAUGHTER ] 2031 01:04:33,370 --> 01:04:35,804 GREEN TRAIN RUN ON YOUR ASS. [ LAUGHTER ] [ APPLAUSE ] 2032 01:04:35,806 --> 01:04:36,705 [ LAUGHTER ] [ APPLAUSE ] >> YOU KNOW WHAT? 2033 01:04:36,707 --> 01:04:40,542 [ APPLAUSE ] >> YOU KNOW WHAT? I DID NOT HOOK UP WITH SHREK, 2034 01:04:40,544 --> 01:04:40,842 >> YOU KNOW WHAT? I DID NOT HOOK UP WITH SHREK, OKAY? 2035 01:04:40,844 --> 01:04:42,677 I DID NOT HOOK UP WITH SHREK, OKAY? A GREEN SHARPIE, WHICH IS VERY 2036 01:04:42,679 --> 01:04:43,445 OKAY? A GREEN SHARPIE, WHICH IS VERY RARE BY THE WAY, EXPLODED IN MY 2037 01:04:43,447 --> 01:04:44,679 A GREEN SHARPIE, WHICH IS VERY RARE BY THE WAY, EXPLODED IN MY BAG. 2038 01:04:44,681 --> 01:04:45,447 RARE BY THE WAY, EXPLODED IN MY BAG. WHERE ELSE DO I WIPE IT BUT ALL 2039 01:04:45,449 --> 01:04:45,981 BAG. WHERE ELSE DO I WIPE IT BUT ALL MY EROGENOUS ZONES. 2040 01:04:45,983 --> 01:04:46,581 WHERE ELSE DO I WIPE IT BUT ALL MY EROGENOUS ZONES. >> PERFECTLY REASONABLE 2041 01:04:46,583 --> 01:04:48,717 MY EROGENOUS ZONES. >> PERFECTLY REASONABLE EXPLANATION. 2042 01:04:48,719 --> 01:04:50,352 >> PERFECTLY REASONABLE EXPLANATION. YOU GUYS ARE ACTING SO CRAZY 2043 01:04:50,354 --> 01:04:51,152 EXPLANATION. YOU GUYS ARE ACTING SO CRAZY RIGHT NOW PIER. 2044 01:04:51,154 --> 01:04:53,054 YOU GUYS ARE ACTING SO CRAZY RIGHT NOW PIER. >> JANIECE, THIS IS LIKE THE 2045 01:04:53,056 --> 01:04:53,788 RIGHT NOW PIER. >> JANIECE, THIS IS LIKE THE TIME WE WENT TO THE AVATAR 2046 01:04:53,790 --> 01:04:57,826 >> JANIECE, THIS IS LIKE THE TIME WE WENT TO THE AVATAR HAUNTED HOUSE. 2047 01:04:57,828 --> 01:05:01,196 TIME WE WENT TO THE AVATAR HAUNTED HOUSE. WE HAD AN 11:00 RESERVATION. 2048 01:05:01,198 --> 01:05:05,233 HAUNTED HOUSE. WE HAD AN 11:00 RESERVATION. YOU CAME OUT WITH BLUE PAINT, 2049 01:05:05,235 --> 01:05:07,602 WE HAD AN 11:00 RESERVATION. YOU CAME OUT WITH BLUE PAINT, HOLDING A ROCK OF INOBTAINIUM, 2050 01:05:07,604 --> 01:05:09,204 YOU CAME OUT WITH BLUE PAINT, HOLDING A ROCK OF INOBTAINIUM, WHICH TURNED OUT TO BE CRACK, BY 2051 01:05:09,206 --> 01:05:09,537 HOLDING A ROCK OF INOBTAINIUM, WHICH TURNED OUT TO BE CRACK, BY THE WAY. 2052 01:05:09,539 --> 01:05:11,172 WHICH TURNED OUT TO BE CRACK, BY THE WAY. I CAN'T EVEN LOOK AT Y'ALL. 2053 01:05:11,174 --> 01:05:11,706 THE WAY. I CAN'T EVEN LOOK AT Y'ALL. >> OH! 2054 01:05:11,708 --> 01:05:12,440 I CAN'T EVEN LOOK AT Y'ALL. >> OH! YOU HAVE HAND AND FACE PRINTS ON 2055 01:05:12,442 --> 01:05:13,541 >> OH! YOU HAVE HAND AND FACE PRINTS ON YOUR ASS. 2056 01:05:13,543 --> 01:05:14,075 YOU HAVE HAND AND FACE PRINTS ON YOUR ASS. [ LAUGHTER ] 2057 01:05:14,077 --> 01:05:16,011 YOUR ASS. [ LAUGHTER ] >> FINE. 2058 01:05:16,013 --> 01:05:18,813 [ LAUGHTER ] >> FINE. I'LL ADMIT IT. 2059 01:05:18,815 --> 01:05:22,083 >> FINE. I'LL ADMIT IT. DURING, BEFORE THE SHOW, I 2060 01:05:22,085 --> 01:05:23,318 I'LL ADMIT IT. DURING, BEFORE THE SHOW, I RECEIVED AN OTBPTWNB. 2061 01:05:23,320 --> 01:05:24,052 DURING, BEFORE THE SHOW, I RECEIVED AN OTBPTWNB. >> AN OVER THE PANTS BELOW THE 2062 01:05:24,054 --> 01:05:25,887 RECEIVED AN OTBPTWNB. >> AN OVER THE PANTS BELOW THE WAIST MOTOR BOAT? 2063 01:05:25,889 --> 01:05:27,455 >> AN OVER THE PANTS BELOW THE WAIST MOTOR BOAT? [ LAUGHTER ] 2064 01:05:27,457 --> 01:05:30,025 WAIST MOTOR BOAT? [ LAUGHTER ] >> FROM SHREK? 2065 01:05:30,027 --> 01:05:32,694 [ LAUGHTER ] >> FROM SHREK? >> HOW DO YOU KNOW IT WASN'T 2066 01:05:32,696 --> 01:05:34,763 >> FROM SHREK? >> HOW DO YOU KNOW IT WASN'T FIONA POST-OGRE REVEAL? 2067 01:05:34,765 --> 01:05:37,065 >> HOW DO YOU KNOW IT WASN'T FIONA POST-OGRE REVEAL? YOU GUYS ARE SO BIPHOBIC. 2068 01:05:37,067 --> 01:05:37,565 FIONA POST-OGRE REVEAL? YOU GUYS ARE SO BIPHOBIC. >> ARE YOU BI? 2069 01:05:37,567 --> 01:05:40,568 YOU GUYS ARE SO BIPHOBIC. >> ARE YOU BI? >> EW, NO. 2070 01:05:40,570 --> 01:05:40,969 >> ARE YOU BI? >> EW, NO. [ LAUGHTER ] 2071 01:05:40,971 --> 01:05:44,172 >> EW, NO. [ LAUGHTER ] >> WELL, WELL, WELL. 2072 01:05:44,174 --> 01:05:45,740 [ LAUGHTER ] >> WELL, WELL, WELL. IF IT ISN'T THE THREE ONIONS I 2073 01:05:45,742 --> 01:05:46,241 >> WELL, WELL, WELL. IF IT ISN'T THE THREE ONIONS I JUST PEELED BACK. 2074 01:05:46,243 --> 01:05:49,010 IF IT ISN'T THE THREE ONIONS I JUST PEELED BACK. [ LAUGHTER ] 2075 01:05:49,012 --> 01:05:50,478 JUST PEELED BACK. [ LAUGHTER ] >> LOOK, SHREK, YOU'RE GOING TO 2076 01:05:50,480 --> 01:05:51,680 [ LAUGHTER ] >> LOOK, SHREK, YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO CHOOSE ONE OF US. 2077 01:05:51,682 --> 01:05:53,548 >> LOOK, SHREK, YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO CHOOSE ONE OF US. WHO'S IT GOING TO BE? 2078 01:05:53,550 --> 01:05:54,349 HAVE TO CHOOSE ONE OF US. WHO'S IT GOING TO BE? ME? 2079 01:05:54,351 --> 01:05:54,683 WHO'S IT GOING TO BE? ME? GADGET? 2080 01:05:54,685 --> 01:05:58,887 ME? GADGET? A 31-YEAR-OLD TEACHING ARTIST 2081 01:05:58,889 --> 01:06:00,655 GADGET? A 31-YEAR-OLD TEACHING ARTIST WITH A SHORT FUSE AND A BIG 2082 01:06:00,657 --> 01:06:00,955 A 31-YEAR-OLD TEACHING ARTIST WITH A SHORT FUSE AND A BIG HEART? 2083 01:06:00,957 --> 01:06:05,293 WITH A SHORT FUSE AND A BIG HEART? >> OR ME, DENISE, A 31-YEAR-OLD 2084 01:06:05,295 --> 01:06:07,729 HEART? >> OR ME, DENISE, A 31-YEAR-OLD BLEACH PATHOLOGIST DOING HER 2085 01:06:07,731 --> 01:06:12,701 >> OR ME, DENISE, A 31-YEAR-OLD BLEACH PATHOLOGIST DOING HER BEST TO MAKE A CHARACTER IN THE 2086 01:06:12,703 --> 01:06:13,435 BLEACH PATHOLOGIST DOING HER BEST TO MAKE A CHARACTER IN THE "SEX AND THE CITY" WE CALL NEW 2087 01:06:13,437 --> 01:06:15,203 BEST TO MAKE A CHARACTER IN THE "SEX AND THE CITY" WE CALL NEW YORK? 2088 01:06:15,205 --> 01:06:15,904 "SEX AND THE CITY" WE CALL NEW YORK? >> ME, LEILANI, A BARELY 2089 01:06:15,906 --> 01:06:16,638 YORK? >> ME, LEILANI, A BARELY 30-YEAR-OLD WHO TAKES TOO LONG 2090 01:06:16,640 --> 01:06:17,372 >> ME, LEILANI, A BARELY 30-YEAR-OLD WHO TAKES TOO LONG IN THE BATHROOM BECAUSE I'M NOT 2091 01:06:17,374 --> 01:06:18,073 30-YEAR-OLD WHO TAKES TOO LONG IN THE BATHROOM BECAUSE I'M NOT DOING A NUMBER ONE OR NUMBER 2092 01:06:18,075 --> 01:06:18,807 IN THE BATHROOM BECAUSE I'M NOT DOING A NUMBER ONE OR NUMBER TWO, I'M DOING A NUMBER THREE, 2093 01:06:18,809 --> 01:06:19,207 DOING A NUMBER ONE OR NUMBER TWO, I'M DOING A NUMBER THREE, HOOKING UP. 2094 01:06:19,209 --> 01:06:20,709 TWO, I'M DOING A NUMBER THREE, HOOKING UP. [ LAUGHTER ] 2095 01:06:20,711 --> 01:06:22,444 HOOKING UP. [ LAUGHTER ] >> OR ME, SUZANNE. 2096 01:06:22,446 --> 01:06:23,211 [ LAUGHTER ] >> OR ME, SUZANNE. A 19-YEAR-OLD -- DON'T SAY 2097 01:06:23,213 --> 01:06:24,212 >> OR ME, SUZANNE. A 19-YEAR-OLD -- DON'T SAY ANYTHING. 2098 01:06:24,214 --> 01:06:30,018 A 19-YEAR-OLD -- DON'T SAY ANYTHING. [ LAUGHTER ] 2099 01:06:30,020 --> 01:06:32,454 ANYTHING. [ LAUGHTER ] WHO'S A LORD FOURQUAT IN THE 2100 01:06:32,456 --> 01:06:33,321 [ LAUGHTER ] WHO'S A LORD FOURQUAT IN THE STREETS AND A PUSS IN THE BOOTS. 2101 01:06:33,323 --> 01:06:33,822 WHO'S A LORD FOURQUAT IN THE STREETS AND A PUSS IN THE BOOTS. [ LAUGHTER ] 2102 01:06:33,824 --> 01:06:34,556 STREETS AND A PUSS IN THE BOOTS. [ LAUGHTER ] >> OR ME, PABLO, A GUY WHO WANTS 2103 01:06:34,558 --> 01:06:35,290 [ LAUGHTER ] >> OR ME, PABLO, A GUY WHO WANTS TO GET TO DOMINO'S IN TIME FOR 2104 01:06:35,292 --> 01:06:35,857 >> OR ME, PABLO, A GUY WHO WANTS TO GET TO DOMINO'S IN TIME FOR HIS RESERVATION. 2105 01:06:35,859 --> 01:06:38,293 TO GET TO DOMINO'S IN TIME FOR HIS RESERVATION. [ LAUGHTER ] 2106 01:06:38,295 --> 01:06:39,027 HIS RESERVATION. [ LAUGHTER ] >> WELL, SHREK, WHO'S IT GOING 2107 01:06:39,029 --> 01:06:41,129 [ LAUGHTER ] >> WELL, SHREK, WHO'S IT GOING TO BE? 2108 01:06:41,131 --> 01:06:41,596 >> WELL, SHREK, WHO'S IT GOING TO BE? >> I WANT PABLO. 2109 01:06:41,598 --> 01:06:46,901 TO BE? >> I WANT PABLO. [ LAUGHTER ] 2110 01:06:46,903 --> 01:07:06,354 >> I WANT PABLO. [ LAUGHTER ] [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 2111 01:07:06,356 --> 01:07:10,759 [ LAUGHTER ] [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] >>> MY THANKS TO ALEC BALDWIN, 2112 01:07:10,761 --> 01:07:20,635 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] >>> MY THANKS TO ALEC BALDWIN, DANA CARVEY, THANK YOU! 2113 01:07:20,637 --> 01:07:21,236 >>> MY THANKS TO ALEC BALDWIN, DANA CARVEY, THANK YOU! [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] 2114 01:07:21,238 --> 01:07:21,569 DANA CARVEY, THANK YOU! [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] ¶¶ 2115 01:07:21,571 --> 01:07:46,293 [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] ¶¶ ¶¶ 225935