Original subtitles

Come on, Steggy...

Come on, Steggy.

Now--now look here, Steggy, be nice now.

Steggy, Steggy, Steg, be nice.

Now, look here, Steggy, this is Mom's boarding house, see?

This is where I live.

That's if you call it living.

Now, Steggy, come here, come here, Steggy.

Uh, Steg come here now!

Come here, Steg!

Oh, you gotta do that--oh, Steg, don't do--Mom will put us out!

Oh, Steggy, come on down from there!

Oh, Steggy! Oh my! Better get off from that!

Get on off of that chandelier!

Get down from there!

I heard what you said about "if you call this living."

Listen, let me tell you something, if you don't like it,

all you got to do is pay me your rent and leave.

You understand that? "Cause I'm not gonna--ahh!

What's that thing? Get it out of here!

Don't get scared, Mom.

Come here, Steggy, come here, Steggy.

Come here, stop acting like that.

Mom, now don't be scared, this is Steggy.

This is part of my animal act.

That's the part that's going out of here, Dusty.

Oh, but Mom, you don't understand.

These are--look at that, ain't that nice?

-What is this? -This is Steggy.

He's an animal of distinction.

I don't care if he's an animal of extinction.

Dusty, you've got enough animals in your room now.

Well, you've got a whole zoo up there.

What is he, anyhow?

Uh, Mom, this is Steggy.

And absolutely harmless.

Just look at that, ain't he cute?

Oh, you little rascal, you!

Mom, and he's smart, too.

Yes, he is. Got two brains.

He's got one in his head and he's got one in his tail.

There you go, tryin' to charm me again.

Boy, you oughta be ashamed of yourself.

Who ever heard tell of any animal having brains in his tail?

If he's got one brain anywhere, he's got one

more than you've got, I can tell you that.

Come on, Steggy, come on now, come on upstairs.

I'm going to show you where we're going to sleep at.

I'm gonna fix your-- come on, Steggy, stop acting so simple.

Come on here.

I'm going to fix you a nice big-- come on, Steggy!

I'm going to knock you out, I see that right now.

-Come on, Steg. -I'm gonna kick him out, I tell ya.

Come on there, Steggy, get on up those steps.

I'll fix you a nice place to sleep.

Hey Dusty, who's going to take him out at night?

I'm tired of cleaning around here.

You better get somebody to take care of that old thing.

Oh, Steggy--ah, ah, don't put your hand there.

That's nice, that's nice.

Come on in, now, come on in.

This--this--oh, look at him, ain't he cute?

Oh yes, you're so glad to have a nice place to sleep.

Oh, look at that.

Oh, I'm going to make a lot of money on you, yes I am.

Oh, you little rascal, you.

Now--now look here.

Come here, Steggy.

Now--now--now here's where we will sleep at over there.

But before we take another nap, I'm going to take a ride--

Uh-uh, come on, don't do that, boy.

I'm going to take--now listen, I don't want me and you to fall out

'cause you is my pork chops.

Oh, stop now, stop, Steggy.

Come on and go around and meet the other members of the act.

Steggy, you're getting worse.

You're going to make me lose my temper.

Come on here.

Come on now and go and meet the other members of the act.

Now get--oh, stop, Steggy!

Oh Steggy, all right, no more now.

Come on back here.

You stepped right on my bunion, don't never do that no more.

Now, come over here and meet Fuzzy.

Come on, come on.

Now, Fuzzy, this is Steggy.

Steggy, that's Fuzzy.

Look at that, he's so glad to see him too.

Oh, merciful.

Ah, ah, ah, ah!

You could get me put out.

Don't jump up in Mom's chair.

Stop putting all that hair on the floor.

Now here, I tell ya what you do.

Come on now, I'm going to introduce you to the other members.

Get out of the chair, Steg!

Come on and meet the other members of the act.

Come on, Steg--oh, Steggy, stop, oh, get away.

All right now.

I wish I had my--I went on home and left my--if I had somebody--

Hey, you come out here and meet them other members of the act.

Come over here.

Now, come on over here and meet--and meet the rest of the members of the act.

Now-now-now-now, that's nice.

Now, Brother, this Steggy.

Steggy, that's Brother.

See Brother like that? Look, look!

What's the matter? Uh, what's the matter?

Oh, don't be scared of him, Steggy.

He ain't gonna hurt you. Look at that.

Stop, Steggy, you're gonna get me scared of him in a minute.

Now--now look what you done done. You done scared Steggy.

Now listen, Brother, if you don't stop scaring everybody,

I'm going to have to put you back in the cage,

I don't want to put you in the cage, but I will.

Now, you just remember that.

Come on here, Steggy.

Me and you gotta get some sleep, 'cause, hey, we've gotta get up today

and put on a good show, do you know that?

That's what we've got to do. Now--now look here.

See, now I'm going to let you sleep right here.

I'm going to sleep in the bed.

See now--uh, uh, uh, uh, come on, no.

It ain't like that, sonny boy, it ain't like that.

See, you sleep down here. I'll sleep in the bed.

Oh yes, you will too, see?

This ain't no tree, this is a bed.

Yeah, but you'll--you'll never park your hips up here.

Now ['ll show you what you do now.

You come right here and lay down right here.

You understand what I mean, Steggy?

I'll show you what I'm talking about.

You lay right down here just like this here, and you lay like this here.

See, you can get some good sleep right there.

I've slept in the park many days like this.

You sleep like--and then when you feel like you want to turn over,

then you just turn over just like this here.

Boy, this is--this is...

Hey, Steggy.

Hey, Steggy!

Just a shame--Hey, Steg--

Well now, ain't that a shame?

Well, they always said be kind to dumb animals.

Then maybe he ain't dumb.

Well...

Watch that pot on the stove for me a minute, Franny.

Oh, come in.

Thank you.

-Uh, you're in show business? -Yes, I sing.

Oh, you do?

Oh, would you mind?

Oh, you wouldn't mind.

Run the scale for Mom, I love singing.

Is that all right?

Why, honey, that was beautiful.

What is your name?

My name's Lila Foster.

And I was wondering if you could show me a room.

Well, yes, I can show you one.

But the trouble of it is, they're all filled up.

Well, thanks anyway.

Oh wait a minute, let Mom think.

There must be some way I can figure this out.

Oh yeah, I'll put Dusty in the room with Moofty.

No, if I did that, Moofty would eat up the rest of Dusty's act.

Oh, I'll put Boo Boo--no.

I can't move Boo Boo.

He never would find his room, honey.

You know, he's always D-R-U-N-K.

No!

Yes.

I know how I can get a drink.

My friend Dusty will give me a drink and I'm going in and see him.

Yes sir, my old friend Dusty always looks out for me.

I get the--Hey, Dust!

Come on, get up and give me a drink.

I want a drink, Dust.

Oh, he's sleeping!

Keeps it right in that drawer there so I'll go ahead and help myself.

You won't have any.

There it is.

Yes, sir, there it is.

Looks like gin.

Ah, tastes like gin.

It is gin!

Oh my goodness!

That was Boo Boo.

I don't think we'll ever see him again, honey,

and now Mom's got a room for you.

Goodie. But he seemed so frightened!

Frightened? He was scared to death.

You know what I think happened?

I think he must've took one look at Steggy.

-Is Steggy a boarder here? -No, a roomer.

I don't feed prehysterical animals.

I just can't be the hysterical one.

So come on upstairs and Mom will show you where your room's at, come on, honey.

This way, darling.

You see? This was Boo Boo's room but you can have it now.

You know, you're a pretty girl.

I think you look better with your hat off.

Moofty! Oh no you don't!

You're not going out of here until you pay me every nickel of your rent.

Get back in that room.

Can you imagine, as nice as I've been to him?

Get in there.

Oh my goodness! Did you hurt yourself?

No, I hope not. I hope I didn't hurt myself.

-Oh uh, howdy-do? -Howdy-do?

Uh, look like I've seen you someplace before.

Maybe you have. You see, I get around.

-Yeah, and your name is, uh? -Vivienne.

-And your last name? -Harris.

Oh, I had a hard time guessing that too.

-And who are you? -I'm Spider Bruce, you know.

-Oh, Spider Bruce. -Yeah, are you going to the dance tonight?

-Well, I was thinking about it. -Well, that's nice.

-Are you married? -No, I'm not.

-Well, where do you live? -Upstairs.

Oh, you're cooking up there now, huh?

I should say not, I'm an actress and I live up there.

Oh, I see. Well, how about you and I getting together tonight

going to the dance together?

-Well, I don't care if I do. -What time can I meet you?

How about the corner drugstore about nine o'clock?

That's fine, nine o'clock. I'll see you, hear?

Oh me, me, me.

-Don't forget! -Nine o'clock.

I'm going to the tailor shop and get my clothes right now, ha ha!

If I bet they do, they don't. If I bet they will, they won't.

I guess the landlady will just have to wait for her rent this week.

Yeah, I ain't stood by what you talking about--

-Why, hello, Spider. -Why, hello there.

-What's all the argument down there? -Oh, don't never go down to Joe's place.

Why, he leaves his wife there in charge, and the minute you go after your things,

-she overcharge you there. -Yeah, well how much she charge ya?

-Charging me 35 cents there. -35 cents?

-That's right! -Well, I spend a dollar

to a dollar and a half to have my clothes pressed.

Yeah that's the reason you got on that leap year suit there now.

Say, are you going to the dance tonight?

-Not like this. -Well, it's a wonder you got this far

looking like that, how about-- now listen.

I remember the first time I saw you, you know, you did me a very nice favor.

-Oh, I wasn't going to bring that up. -Well, one good turn deserves another.

And if my clothes will fit ya, here they is right now.

-Try on them pants there. -Yeah, but what are you going--

Don't worry, I've got clothes I ain't never seen before.

Well, all right, thank you very much.

I'll go over here and try them on.

Ah, don't do that!

Don't never bend up the pants like that.

It's 35 cents invested there.

-All right, I'll be right back. -Yeah, now try them on right there.

All righty, he's a good old boy.

Just plays horses all the time, you know?

Yeah I'll never forget what he did, though.

Uh, get your heels out the pocket.

You act like you ain't never had on no pants before.

Oh, they fit him too. I sure is glad of that.

Now he can go to the dance.

Yes sir, him and I are going to that dance tonight.

Here he comes back. There they are.

-How do they look? -All set there, you know.

-Yeah, it's a fit too. -Say here, I want you to take my coat.

-Your coat too? -Yes sir, the coat goes with it.

-You know, you're really all right. -Sure, well I know.

Now wait a minute, don't throw it in my face like that.

-Well, what's the matter? -You're liable to have some friends

-on this baby. -Oh, no friends on there.

Well, you won't need that no more.

Boy, this is really all right, I'll never forget this.

I know that.

-Wait a minute here. -What?

Let me get your feet up off of Seventh Avenue, boy.

Well, all right. The shoes too?

The shoes go too.

-Would you stand there and help me out? - I will.

What are these here you got here?

-Oh, those shoes there? -Yes, sir.

Why, those are Edmund C. Claps.

You're right they don't last alright.

You won't need them anymore either.

-Hot dog, look at that. -Yes, now wait a minute.

Put the cane on, put the hat on, take the handkerchief off your neck,

and you're all dressed up, you know.

-Mercy, look at that. -You're all right.

-Ain't that sharp? -Yes, sir.

-I'm really in there. -Uh-uh, don't do that.

-Don't do what? -Don't never turn that fast in my clothes.

-Listen, if I want to turn, I'll turn. -No, you won't turn in that clothes.

If I get the urge to turn, I'll turn!

You don't have the urge to turn in my clothes!

I said when I turn, I'll turn.

Oh, look who ain't going to the dance tonight here.

-I was just kidding. -Oh, I see you was.

-Uh, say, Spider? -What's the matter?

You know, I expected an advance from my agent today.

-Yeah? -And didn't receive it, so, uh,

will you lend me two till next week?

Oh yes, I promised to let you go to the dance and you're going, you know.

-Yes, you did. -Here you are.

Now, whatever you do, get yourself a girlfriend.

-Oh, I'm going to get one. - I will, I'll tell you, I'll see you there.

Oh my, you look so nice.

-Listen here. -What?

Another thing, you know, you easily get mad.

In case anybody do anything to start an argument with you at the dance tonight,

in case you get mad at all, if they want to fight,

pull off my clothes, if you feel like they want to cut you.

-I'll see ya, hear? -I'll take care of everything.

So long, Spider.

-Why, hello, Vivienne. -Why, hello, Charlie. How have you been?

-Oh, I've been around. -I haven't seen you lately.

Well, naturally you wouldn't, honey. I'm, uh, following the horses nowadays.

Oh, I see, you're a street cleaner now, huh?

No street cleaner, honey.

I just made $15,000 today, and I thought I'd walk around

and see what the girls and boys at the boarding house are doing.

-$15,0007? -Yes, I did.

Why, you're really something, ain't ya?

Yes am I. Are you going to the fair tonight?

Well, I was thinking about it.

-Who's the wolf? -I haven't picked one yet.

All right, Joyce, all right. I didn't mean it.

-Hello, Spider. -Why, hello.

- I was looking for you. -Yeah?

I got me a fine chick, old man.

-Oh, you have? -Yeah, she's really in it.

Oh Spider, you better let me have two more dollars, you know what I mean?

You didn't have nothing but a notion to go in, did you?

-Well, I just had it. -I'll see you at the dance.

Thank you very much, I'll see you.

Say hey, uh, Charlie, come here.

You got the wrong girl.

-The wrong girl? -Yeah, that's me there.

-Miss Harris, do you know him? -Him?

I never knew anything that looked like him in all the days of my life.

I say right now, I've got to get you all told, I'll tell yah.

Now, partner, you're just like all the rest of the common men.

You don't know when you've really got a friend.

I loan you my clothes, my money.

You turn around and take my gal.

You just can't stand prosperity, that's all.

Why, the lady says, my boy, that she don't know you.

-She's wrong. -Well, I believe she's true.

-Is that so? -Well, that ought to do.

-Oh yeah? -You see, guys like you

are out of style nowadays.

So, Mr. Common Trash, be on your merry way.

Oh partner, give me.

I said give me.

Now, since you've been so deceiving,

so as you're standing so pat,

I think you better let me have my old high silk hat.

Man, give me.

I said give me my hat.

Now, what this man is talking about, I really can't see.

Why, lady, I'm only getting back just what this bum borrowed from me, that's all.

That's all right, darling, I'll make an excuse for you, honey.

I'll say you were riding to the ball and your hat flew out the window.

You see? She wants me to go with her anyways.

She's gonna make an excuse for me.

-Come on, honey. -Oh, partner?

Give me.

I said give me.

Now, since you've been so deceiving staying out in front of all these folks,

I think you better let me have my old full red coat.

Oh, I said give me, man.

You don't understand, I said give me my coat back.

Now, what this man is talking about, I still can't see.

Lady, you stay out of this mess,

I'm only getting back just what he borrowed from me, that's all.

That's all right, darling.

I'll make another excuse for you, sweetheart.

I'll say it was too warm for you to wear a coat.

You see, she's going to make another excuse for me.

It's too warm to wear a coat.

You haven't been out lately, have you?

-Oh come on, honey. -Oh, partner? Give me.

I said give me.

Now, since you've been so deceiving and trying to act so brand new,

I think you better let me have them old patent leather shoes.

-Oh no. -Oh no, nothing. Give me, man.

-Oh man, give me the shoes. -Here they are.

Looky there, you done turned them over already there.

So you're trying to keep me from going to the dance.

I ain't trying to stop you, I'm just stopping my clothes, that's all.

-Well, I bet you I'm going. -You'll bet what?

-I'll bet you four dollars. -Where's it at?

-Here is it. -This is my four, now where is your four?

-Why, I oughta... -Oh fool him, devil, fool him.

-Oh come on, honey. -Oh no, brother.

I really can't use you now.

Can't nobody use him now.

Bad enough that he's just as barefoot as a yard dog.

Done gone and brought a new style to Harlem there.

A new look with a walking cane.

Now, there you stand barefoot and everybody can see,

and if you make it with that gal barefoot, it's all right with me.

Them pants is mine!

Hello, who are you?

Moofty!

He got away, but one thing, I got his clothes.

Oh, my best silver!

Why, you dirty little...

These children gonna make me say something yet.

Hey Steggy! Steggy.

Oh mercy, what is Mom going to say?

Steggy, stop eating them feathers like that.

Don't you know there ain't no chicken on the end of them?

If it was, I would've done eat it myself.

Now listen, we just have to go out and hustle some breakfast somewhere.

We ain't got nothing to eat, Steggy.

We ain't got nothin' to eat.

Mom done told...Mom done told...

Oh, I see what you mean.

You know, I always know that I'd wind up eating up mine.

Well, it's got to be done, and I'm hungry too.

I sure hate to do this, but it's got to be done.

Now, ain't no use to act like that, ain't no use.

I'll write home and tell the folks that you died for a mighty good cause.

Yes, I will.

Uh, brother, I hate to do this to you.

But it's got to be done.

You see, Steggy, he's a big attraction

and we've got to keep him alive.

Besides, he's too tough.

Who ever heard talk of a Steggy stew?

Well, it's got to be done.

Look here, I'll tell you what you do, brother, be a man.

Walk into in. Walk into it.

Come on, walk into-- So you won't talk, huh?

I know what I'll do.

I'll shut my eyes and I knoweth not what I doeth.

Ow! Boy, you like to make me break my leg,

and you broke my knife, too.

That ain't no way to kill no rabbit.

-Well, I don't know how you kill him. -Give him here, I'll do it.

Ain't this a shame?

Uh, say, Mom, uh, loan me a quarter, will you please?

-Loan you a quarter? -Yes, ma'am.

What's the name of that man in the olden times who slid down the tree

and knocked all the bark off of it?

Now, let me see.

-That was Ezekiel. -Ezekiel.

When Ezekiel slides back up the tree and sticks all of that bark on,

then maybe I'll lend you a quarter. Hold still, rabbit.

I'll wait on that.

Say, look here, Mom.

When you get through, call me, hear?

Yeah, I'll call you when dinner's through.

Now, ain't that a shame, Dusty done broke my best knife.

Wait a minute, now wait a minute, honey.

Now, now, now, did Mom give you nice supper?

Now you must be still, Mom give you a whole lot of supper.

See, Mom ain't gonna hurt you.

Just gonna cut your head off, 'cause if I don't, you see,

Mom's children ain't gonna have nothing to eat tonight.

Now, who's that ringing that doorbell?

Now you stay right there, be nice, baby.

Mom coming right back.

Get that rabbit fixed in a whirl.

-Hello, come in good morning. -P-p-put--put that knife aw--away!

Oh, this is not for you.

You--you see, I'm from S--Sloan's Loans and your payment is due on your p-p-piano.

Well, maybe this is for you.

Uh, say, what's up, Mom?

He's from Sloan's Loan and he came to see about a piano.

-Oh, piano. -Yeah, p-p-piano.

Just a minute, I'll see about it for you right away.

T-t-thank you.

Three whistles! The guy for the piano.

Come over here.

Now look, I've checked all over.

There's no piano in this house.

But there m-m-must be a piano,

because...what are you doing to me?

Now, I told you there's no piano in this house.

If you want to look, you can look.

Look in some of the other rooms if you want to.

Th-th-that's what I'm going to do, 'cause th-they want here someplace.

Ah-ah-ah-ah, don't disturb the paying boarders.

Mom slap.

All--alright, I'll loo-loo-look in there then.

Oh, go ahead, look in the coal bin.

I--I'd like to find the piano.

Now, this is the kitchen, have a good look.

Oh, Mr. Stanley, why don't you forget all about it

and come on and stay for dinner?

Now, we're going to have some nice rabbit stew.

You like rabbit stew?

Y-y-yeah but I've--I've got to go.

I-I-I told a man I-I...thanks, I will.

Children, I want you to meet Mr.--

Uh--S-S-S-Stanley's my name.

Mr. Stanley from the Sloan's Loan Company.

I'm--I'm--I'm glad to meet you.

Sit down, Mr. Stanley.

Oh, am I late?

Well, just a little bit, Lila.

Now children, I want you to meet Mom's new boarder.

This is Lila.

-How do you do? -How do you do?

Won't you please have my seat?

Please, come over and sit over on this side of the table.

No, please come over and take my seat, my seat.

Thank you.

-Now, now. -Boy, don't you ever throw a plate at me!

He didn't have to push me off.

Did you hear what I said? Sit down now, Franny.

Let me go get them cakes. I'm tired of your children's foolishness.

Excuse me.

Let me have your fork.

What on earth do you want my fork for?

-You'll see. -Do you always use two forks?

Only when I have a young lady, a beautiful young lady, at my side.

Don't take them all.

See what I mean?

Shame on you children.

Why, you've eaten them all up from Mr. Stanley.

Mr. Stanley, Mom will get you some more.

Th-thank you so much.

I sure do I-like potato p-pancakes.

I'm g-glad you do.

You ain't fast around here, you'll sure starve all right.

I guess you will.

See what I mean?

Well, I declare.

Y-y-yeah, I s-s-see w-w-what you mean.

Just for that, you're not gonna get nothing to eat at all.

See what I mean?

Th-th-that's t-t-too b-b-bad.

Oh, you-you-you-you-you you-you-you sh-sh-sh-shut up!

Before I c-c-c-cut your th-th-th-th-throat!

Tell me, how do you like it here?

Oh, it's grand!

But if I don't get a job by the end of the week,

I'm gonna have to leave.

I only have enough for one week's board.

One week's board, that's all I ever paid, and I've been here six months.

But how does Mom manage?

Well, to tell you the truth, I never asked her.

I guess she's got insurance money.

You mean Mom had insurance money.

It's all gone now.

I got something to tell you children after you're done, a little bad news.

Oh, I won't spoil your dinner.

Go ahead and eat, Mom'll tell you after you're done.

All right? Okay.

Well, pass the dirty dishes to me, children, will you?

I hope you enjoyed the rabbit stew.

Yeah, w-w-well, th-th-thanks for the dinner,

a-a-and if you see a p-p-piano, I--let me know.

I'll send around, Mr. Stanley, and you'll be hearing from us very soon.

For a loan.

Get these dishes washed up.

Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah!

Don't disturb the pa yin' boarders!

Oh, n-n-no, 's-s-s-souse me, but if you s-s-s-see a p-p-p-piano,

I-I-l-let me know, yeah?

-Bye. -Bye.

Well, children, this is it.

Everything is going out, nothing coming in,

and to tell you the truth, Mom's broke.

And if I don't have $50 by 12 o'clock tonight,

the landlord said he's gonna throw everybody out of here.

Your stinkin' uncle and all, Dust.

Well, you see, I been sleeping in the park so long till it don't worry me.

Maybe we could all pool our money.

I still have $2.60.

You won't have it if I know where it is.

Listen, well, if we pool all of our money together with your $2.60,

we wouldn't have $3, honey.

Won't the rent collector take something on account?

On account of what?

Uh, on account of we ain't got but $2.60.

Oh, he ain't gonna stand for that.

Oh, don't worry, Mom.

Something'll turn up.

Where's your $2 at, honey?

Oh, mind your own business, Dusty.

-You're always ready-- -I'm gonna pay her back!

When?

Oh, I'll pay it back to her.

When I get it.

Ain't that something.

I got a gig!

Got a gig where?

It ain't come up yet, but it's promised to me.

Yeah, you let me know when it comes up and I'll have one with you.

Thank you.

Mom, ain't none of them hotcakes left?

No.

Simon.

That man would never take nothing on account.

Why, children, that man is so mean!

Don't you know he's liable to walk in here at one minute after 12

and open the door and throw us all out the window?

I wish I could cook him just one meal.

That's all, brother.

Well, kids, might as well brace up and pack up, too.

I think this is the bad news.

So get ready for it.

Come on in, Drag.

You got the 50 bucks?

No, I ain't.

Then out you go, all of you.

Ah, something new has been added!

Well, you see, babe, today is the last day of the month.

In exactly three minutes, everyone gets thrown out.

Of course, now, if you were my wife and they were friends of yours,

I might reconsider.

I need time to think it over.

You have plenty of time.

Exactly two minutes.

Oh, I need more time.

I'll give you 24 hours to make up your mind.

I'll be back tomorrow night at midnight.

If it's no, out you all go.

Oh, Lila, darling, gee, you were wonderful.

Mom didn't know you could jive like that!

You jived, all right!

Moms' gonna adopt you!

Thank you!

You are a nice child!

You mean you were only stalling him, you're not considering?

What do you take me for, anyway? Of all the nerve!

Wait, wait, Lila, I didn't understand!

I'm Lila Foster.

Say, I'd know you anywhere.

Your dad and I'd shoot together for years.

-How is Joe? -He's fine!

This is Jerry Louis, a friend of mine.

Glad to know ya, Jerry.

Any friend of Joe's daughter is a friend of mine.

It's a pleasure.

Jerry and I are singers and we were wondering

if you would let us try out in your next show.

Oh, I'm sorry, Lila, but if you've been reading the papers,

you know that there won't be another.

I had another flop.

Does that mean you're quitting?

Oh, no, a fortune teller told me to quit!

A who? A fortune teller?

Yeah, what's wrong with that?

Well, nothing.

Say, I know a wonderful fortune teller, why not let her tell your fortune?

I just told ya, I just had my fortune told!

But Mr. Norman, when a doctor tells a patient

he has something seriously wrong with him,

doesn't the patient go to another doctor for another opinion?

Well, if doctors can be wrong!

I see what you mean.

Where is this wonderful fortune teller?

Uh, at the Tropical Tea Room.

Well, come on, let's go right now!

No, no, she don't begin until four o'clock.

All right, I'll see you there at that time.

It's a date.

Thank you, Mr. Norman, goodbye!

-Oh, goodbye. -See you a little later.

Joe Foster's daughter.

What do ya know?

You know, in all my experience in show business,

I ain't never been a fortune teller before!

Well, Mom, you know what to say and what to do.

Oh, yes, this tells the tale!

Don't worry about Mom, I ain't never missed a cue in my life.

Jerry, I still think it's a mean trick to play on Mr. Norman.

Lila, all's fair in love and show business.

And besides, we're helping him.

Well, I hope so.

Here he comes now.

Well, here I am!

Hello, Mr. Norman, I'll take your hat.

Okay.

Madame Altura, this is Mr. Norman.

Mr. Norman, this is the wonderful fortune teller I was telling you about.

It is a pleasure to meet you!

Sit down, no?

Well, I'm glad to meet ya.

I tell your fortune, I tell you everything!

This crystal ball tell everything.

Know all.

I'll start?

Ah, I can see talent!

A house full of talent that will make your next show the big hit.

Is that not right?

-Show him! -Shut up, Boo Boo, I'll do the talking.

Where is all of this fine talent?

In Mom's boarding house.

Never heard of it.

I heard of them.

So have!

We could round them up for you.

I know Mom personally.

Well, there's enough talent in this house for the whole show?

Ah, what Mom's house not got, her friend next door, Beulah, got.

See, Beulah house got what Mom house lack.

What's that? Two bathrooms?

Well, you kids round up that talent

and have them in my theater in the morning at 10 sharp.

I'll audition them then.

And Altura, thank you.

A hundred dollar bill?

Thank you!

-So long, kids. -Bye, Mr. Norman!

-So long, Mr. Norman. -Hold me, Jerry, I'm gonna faint.

Hey, wait for me!

Well, what's the answer?

Will she marry me?

Here's your answer, brother.

Today is the last day of the month and I don't have to accept it.

Listen, you extended that one day and I've got witnesses to prove it.

All right, but I'll get even.

Yeah? Well, right now, brother, get lost!

Mr. Norman, if you'll sit down in that seat,

I'll introduce the acts that we'd like to have you put in your show.

And I'll introduce them as they appear for you.

All right, go ahead, I'm ready and anxious to see them!

Bring 'em on!

Say, Mom, are you gonna be in the show?

Well, the children kinda was talking about they'd like for Mom to do a little dance,

so I can't turn 'em down, I guess so.

Yeah, once an actor, always an actor.

You're telling me!

How about you, Dusty, you gonna work?

-Beg pardon? -I say, are you in the show?

-Am I in the show? -That's what I said.

Ain't this a shame.

Is I in the show?

-Why, I am the star of the show! -You don't say!

Out of my way, hams!

Ham! Ham!

Whatcha doing now, Dusty?

Ham, why do you appear without eggs?

Oh, get up, Dusty.

They're great acts, though, every one of 'em.

And now, Mr. Norman, we're going to give you the talent,

the talent that we hope you're going to produce in your next show.

And the young man that I'm going to introduce to you

is a gentleman that should be a sensation.

In fact, I know he'll be a sensation, and he should be an inspiration to us all.

Introducing at this time, Crip Heard.

Take it away, Crip.

Introducing to you at this time the Berry Brothers.

Believe me, they're exponents of the dance,

and when you see 'em, I'll bet you will say they're definitely the Berrys.

you never know if an apple is ripe until you bite it,

you bite it

Whoa, you never know if fire's going to burn

until you light it

You light it, you strike a little match and you light it

Hey!

You never know what it means to be blue until you've lost an old friend,

ya-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta

You'll never know just how long is the road

until you have reached...

the...

until a-you a-reached the end!

You never, never know that you got a friend!

You never know how good a book is till you read it

Say, read it through and through, yeah!

You never know what a kind word can do till you said it

and you said it, and then you say it, yeah!

You and I could find romance,

but honey, till you take that chance,

you never, ever, ever, never know, you never, ever, never know,

you never, never, never, never know

A young lady that carries a name walking by the river,

that's our girl, Una Mae Carlisle.

Though my style is breezy and my smile is teasy,

if you think I'm easy, throw it out your mind

Should your heart start hurtin' wonderin' if I'm flirtin'

and your head's uncertain, throw it out your mind

Why, anyone can plainly see, unless they are blind,

that I'm yours exclusively, I'm the one-track kind

When you're out without me, never worry 'bout me

Any time you doubt me, throw it out your mind

Anyone can plainly see, unless they are blind,

that I'm yours exclusively, I'm the one-track kind

When you're out without me, never worry 'bout me

Any time you doubt me, throw it out your mind

Throw it, throw it outta your mind!

Mr. Norman, Una Mae Carlisle's going to do one of her own tunes.

I'm quite sure you'll like it.

There's a crazy expression in Chicago now

It's a funny thing but it's caught on somehow

No, it ain't like that, what you bet

It ain't like that, what you bet, I said

Yes, I said that

So if you're hep, watch your step

to save your rep, it ain't like that, I said

Yes, I said that

Now tell me, honey, does two make three?

When in reality, seein' is believin' and hearin' is deceivin'

No, it ain't like that, ABC

You follow me, it ain't like that, I said

Yes, I said that

Tell me, honey, does two make three?

When in reality, seein' is believin' and hearin' is deceivin'

No, it ain't like that, ABC

You follow me, it ain't like that, I said

No, it ain't like that

Well, too bad, it ain't like that

We bring you at this time Stump and Stumpy, a very fine team, a little different,

because one's about here and one's about here,

but you put them both together, you've really got something.

Here they are.

If your rhythm's been too romping

and you like it nice and jumping,

-how'd you do? I'm Stump -I'm Stumpy

And we've got swing for sale

And you like your rhythm jarring,

still admit you might be sorry, we've got swing for sale

Why, rhythm is really what you need, for years and years, we've said it

-If you vibe from A to Z... -Tell 'em

-We've got swing -But not for credit

There ain't no telling what can happen

You've gotta let me sing that!

I've got swing!

No, don't say it like that.

I've gotta let him say it now.

We've got swing for sale

Don't you know rhythm is really what you need?

Well, isn't that neat, we sell it.

And if you buy from me, it's C.O.D.

-We can start-- -You didn't hear that bebop, did you?

When you start your finger snapping,

we've got swing for sale

We've got swing for sale

Mr. Norman, I'm going to introduce a lady that's terrific.

A lady in your eyesight, and when you look and see her,

you're going to feel just exactly as we do.

We all call her Moms because she's just that dear to us.

Professionally, she's known as Jackie "Moms" Mabely.

But we all call her Moms, so what do you say, Moms?

Take it away.

That's enough, Luther, that's enough.

I'm so tired.

I feel like I have the hardest luck in the world.

Now I done lost my job again, working for the mayor, too.

Well, it ain't my fault.

I was doing very well until the Duke and Duchess of Somewhere came over here.

And soon as they came over here, of course, they eta yin' with the mayor.

The madame comes, stops me down and she says, "Moms," says,

"Don't say 'yes, ma'am' and 'no, ma'am' to the duchess."

Say, "You must say, 'Your Royal this, come on in the excellent dining room.

Eat Your Majesty grapefruit,' and all that stuff."

Well, one day, anyhow, the mayor went out for a ride on the train.

Comes back in, said to me, said, "Mom, where's the duchess?"

I said, "She's in the royal bathroom

in the royal bathtub with the royal soap

and her excellent washrag scrubbing Her Royal Highness."

I didn't know it was wrong.

They fired me.

Of course, when they fired me, when I lose my job, I lose my man.

That is since I got, well, kinda old, you know.

Now, don't get me wrong, it ain't no disgrace to be old,

but darned if it ain't inconvenient, I can tell you that much about it.

Sure, I like Cab Calloway, everybody's talking about it, I know it.

Say Cab treats me like a dog, he does.

Treats me like a dog, he called me a dog.

Yes, he did, one day he called me an old dog.

Sometimes I wished I was a dog and he was a tree.

I'd get even, I'm telling you that much.

Well, Luther, look like it's about time for Mom to get away from there.

It's been a long time since I spiked these boards.

So I want you to play it real pretty for the people

and see if Moms can't do a little rebop for 'em.

Take it away, Luther.

Wait, wait a minute, Luther.

Don't play it like that, Lu.

Play it like you're playing for one of them big people, you know.

Make it pretty and one of them symphonic stuff, all that stuff.

Hey, honey, make me look like Lena Horne if you possibly can up there, Mr. Light Man.

That's better, thank you.

Come on, Luther.

Knock me out, Luther.

Hey, hey.

I love to dance, at least I used to love to dance.

I'm getting to old for this, man.

Made it, made it, made it, made it, ha-ha!

That's it.

Dusty, where are your animals at?

Where's your animals?

Uh, they don't get up this time in the morning.

-No? -No!

-I'm going on without 'em. -Oh, I see.

-Yeah. -Yeah.

Very funny, I'm telling you, very funny.

I suppose you're wondering who I'm speaking of being very funny.

Well, I'm talking of a marvelous comedy team, Lewis and White.

And now I'd like to do a little tune that I had the pleasure of doing in the show--

Well, here I am!

Hello there, how are you?

Say, say, can't you see I'm out here trying to entertain?

Trying, are you kidding?

Why, he--don't you have guests here?

-This is no place to try nothing! -Furthermore, there's a show going on!

What time does it start?

Why, the show is on now!

Yeah? How long is the show?

Fifty-five minutes!

-How long are you on? -Ten minutes.

-Be back in 11 minutes. -Say, wait a minute, where you going?

I'm going out and joining the WACs.

Joining the WACs? Why, the WACs are for women!

Ha-ha-ha! I'm for women, too!

Look, just sit down while I run over four or five bars of Sonny Boy.

From where I'm standing, sonny, you should run over four or five bars of Lifebuoy!

You tell him, Wells Fargo, I can't express myself.

Are you gonna let me sing this number or not?

You a singer? Are you kidding?

Why, you are ugly!

And you're drunk!

-Yeah, and you're ugly! -And you're still drunk!

Yeah, but tomorrow, I'll be sober!

Yeah, well, I've got the kind of face you have to look at twice!

Yeah, you know, you don't believe it the first time.

-Oh, you're one of those wise guys, huh? -No, I'm not wise!

Well, in order to be in show business nowadays,

you have to have political background.

What you mean?

Oh, everybody in my family is interested in politics!

-Is that right? -I'm a Democrat, my wife's a Republican,

my baby's wet, my cow is dry, and my cat is on the fence!

Why, it's a good thing you don't have a dog!

-I got a dog, but he don't vote. -No?

No, he just hangs around the polls all day.

All right, you're so smart, spell "skunk."

Skunk? Uh, S-K-N-K, skunk.

S-K-N-K?

Yeah, I left U out!

All right, you had it with me, what can you do?

-Who me? -Yes, you.

-Well, I make with the poetry! -You mean you're a poet.

Jack, I'm a poet, know it, believe me, I can go it, and I ain't scared to show it.

Well, let me hear you recite some poetry.

-Oh, you wanna hear me recite? -That's right.

-Well, it's dramatic. -Dramatic?

-Yeah. -Go right ahead.

Don't get scared now.

Don't run away. Drama.

Mary had a little lamb.

Its fleece was white as snow.

And with the price of meat the way that it is...

-What about it? -...that lamb has got to go!

-Say, why, is that the best you can do? -Oh, no, I have another.

-Better than that first one? -Well, it's short.

-Quickie? Right to the point? -Yeah! Uh-huh.

-Go right ahead. -Well, you see, once there was two fellas,

one named Frontside and one named Wrongside.

Well, Frontside lived on east side, and Wrongside lived on the west side.

Frontside decided he'd move to the north side,

and Wrongside decided he'd move to the south side.

So Frontside decides he'll go down on the south side

to visit Mr. Wrongside on that side.

So, he goes down the streets on the wrong side,

crosses the street to the right side to the house on that side,

walked up on the porch on the outside, rang the doorbell on the inside.

And a lady came to the outside, and he asked for Mr. Wrongside.

-He did? -The lady sighed and cried,

and cried and sighed, said Wrongside died, committed suicide.

-Say, why you're pretty good! -You like that?

How about you comin' out here with me?

-Be all right? -Well, come right on out!

Okay, say, what do you do anyway?

-Oh, I'm a dancer. Yeah! -You dance?

-I used to be a musician. -Ya did?

-Yeah, but been studying art lately. -Oh, is that right?

-I was at the museum this morning. -You were?

-Heard two skeletons talking. -What were they saying?

One said to the other, "You know, if we had any guts, we'd get outta here."

Say, listen, oh, what took you so long getting out here?

Had to stop by the racetrack and doctor on the horse I got runnin' tomorrow.

-Yeah? -Put cocaine in his front legs,

Novocain in his hind legs, Benzedrine in his mouth,

and stuffed some marijuana in his nose.

So you think he'll come in first?

He might not come in first, Jim, but he'll be the happiest horse in there!

So, now that you're out here, how 'bout doing a little something?

Oh, you wanna see me do something?

Well, let's see, I do imitations, I do dramatics,

- I do characters-- -Characters?

-Yeah! -Let's see a couple of characters!

-All right, now, remember the cowboy days? -Yeah.

No, I've got a better deal than that.

-I can imitate different types of people. -Yeah?

Yeah, now, say for instance now, a cab driver.

-A cab driver? -Yeah!

Now, I can imitate a cab driver,

should a gangster ask him to drive him some place to rob a bank or something...

-Yeah. Me? -...but I need your help.

Yeah, you see, I'm gonna be the cabbie, want you to be the gangster.

-You can play the part, can't ya? -Yeah.

Well, then, see, you come along, I don't see you.

I'm leanin' on my cab, and outta the clear blue sky, you ask--

Gee, somebody stole my cab already.

-Say, well, you know what to do. -All right, here we go.

Okay.

-Taxi! Taxi! -Hey!

Hey, stinky!

-Stinky? Who, me? -Yes, you!

-What do you want? -Come on over here!

-Who are you? -My name is Cactus,

but all my friends calls me Tex.

-Where you hail from, Tex? -Cincinnati.

Oh, say.

Stinky? You called me stinky a couple of eggs back, and I don't like it.

Reach for that there shootin' iron,

and if'n I don't beat you to the draw and blow your head off,

my name is Eddie Rochester Anderson.

What a ham.

Look-a here, partner,

I told you that if'n I didn't beat you to the draw and blow your head off,

-my name was Rochester! -Now what have you got to say?

Hello, Mr. Benny.

And now, Mr. Norman, we're gonna close up the curtains

because we have something sensational that we're going to give you.

This gentleman don't need no terrific build-up

because you're going to recognize his name,

and the music that's going to follow his name

is gonna keep your toes tappin', and set your soul reeling,

and make it happy have ya.

Introducing at this time, that man with a band,

a dynamic personality, Lucky Millinder.

And now, the band with Paul Breckenridge.

Sweet slumber till dawn,

till the last star is gone

I will hold you in my arms again tonight

Sweet slumber brings dreams

while the moon softly beams

Every moment brings a thrill of sweet delight

I can see you in the shadows

down a moon-kissed blossom lane

There's a halo wrapped around us

and as long as dreams remain

Sweet slumber till dawn,

till the last star is gone

I will hold you in my arms again tonight

Sweet slumber

And now, a specialty number,

one that I'm quite sure you're going to enjoy.

A lovely lady, and a tune that definitely fits her personality.

The name of the tune is Let it Roll, and that introduces Anisteen Allen.

-Let it roll, let it roll -All night long

-Let it roll, let it roll... -All night long

-Let it roll, let it roll -All night long

-Let it roll, let it roll... -All night long

-Let it roll, let it roll -All night long

-Let it roll all night long... -Let it roll

-...lo the east and to the west... -Let it roll

-...till I make my answer, yes -Let it roll

-Little more a little less -Let it roll

To the man who rolls the best,

roll it right,

roll all night

Roller man, roll it with all your might

-Let it roll, let it roll -All night long

-Let it roll, let it roll... -All night long

-Let it roll, let it roll -All night long

-Let it roll, let it roll... -All night long

-Let it roll... -Oh, let it roll!

...all night long!

All night long!

Introducing at this time one of our top recording artists.

He's a young man that overnight he was a sensation.

His tunes have reached the top, and to a thousand ears.

Maybe I could go so far as to say millions, but let it reach your ear at this time.

I speak of that one and only Bull Moose Jackson.

I love you, yes, I do

I want you, yes, I do

I know you know it's true

from the way I look at you

You love me, yes, you do

You need me, I need you

That's why I'm never blue

since I first laid eyes on you

I guess you knew it from the start,

from the day you took my heart,

you're the one girl I'll always admire

Darling, you're my guiding star

I must be wherever you are

You set my world on fire

I miss you, yes, I do,

must hug you, Kiss you too

I'm yours my whole life through

I love you, yes, I do

I love you, yes, I do

Just one more number by the band, Mr. Norman.

And this is really a hot one!

Take 'em away, Lucky!

This is fine, Mom, really fine,

and so fitting and appropriate after our big opening and great success.

Oh, it was nice of you to make this party for us after the show.

Well, it was certainly nice of you to make it possible for me to have this party.

Look at my children!

Oh, they're so happy,

having so much fun.

When my children's happy, believe me, it makes Mom feel good in here!

I can see that!

If that's who I think it is--

Will you excuse me a minute, Mr. Norman?

-Oh, certainly, go ahead! Sure. -I'll be right back.

I got the boarding house blues

It's after midnight, and it's after the last day of the month,

so out you go!

Here's your 50 bucks.

Now scram, ham!

No, no, no, see this calendar here?

Well, that's yesterday's date,

and yesterday was the last day of the month.

Would you mind showing me today's date?

With pleasure.

See?

Yes, I see!

You look at it!

I've been foiled!

It's leap year!

Yes, it's leap year, and you take a leap to get outta here!

No, I'm on my rights, understand, you can't do that to me!

-Who can't? -I've got some rights--

Get out! Get on outta here!

You know, darling, you're making me the happiest man in the world.

Really, you are.

This is the moment that I've definitely been waiting for,

I'm telling you!

Hey, this'll make Joe very happy.

Congratulations!

Hey, Mom, where's Dusty?

He should be here!

Dusty?

Upstairs with them animals.

Honest to goodness, that's the worst boy, I'm tellin' ya, that I got.

He's got a whole menagerie up there.

He's got one he calls Stegarke.

Stegarke? That sounds like a sore throat!

Wait, come on, let's go upstairs.

-I wanna show him to ya, come on. -Okay, sure!

Dusty, how come you didn't bring me some of that rabbit?

Oh, man, did you know I had you a big, one of them big rabbit legs layin' out there?

One of them old hungry actors eat it up.

But I tell you what,

I got you some nice dumplings down there in the icebox.

Man, who wants any dumplings, as hungry as I am?

That's right, hungry as you is,

you should be able to put some trash in water and feel all right.

-Oh, never mind that, cut the cards! -Huh?

Oh, man, cut the cards, this thing's hot!

If you don't take that ace out from under that sleeve there,

I'm gonna send you where it's hotter than that at.

Okay.

You know you ought to stop tryin' to be so slick.

You'd feel funny walkin' around with your head under your arm, wouldn't you?

Oh!

So, you got a man livin' here under false pretenses?

Oh, no, Mom, that ain't no man!

That's my brother.

I don't care if it's your father.

Wait a minute, Mom, wait a minute!

I'll explain it to you!

Wait a minute, Mom!

Oh, man! Why don't you get out the way, it's bad enough now.

Wait a minute, Mom, take it easy, take it easy!

Hey, open the door, Richard!

Wait a minute!

Open the door, Richard!

I can explain it to you, Mom!

Open the door, Richard!

Ain't this a shame?

Wait a minute, Mom!

Oh, Richard, why don't you open that door up there?