Original subtitles

J“ did you ever want it? J“

j“ did you want it bad? J“

j“ oh, myj“

j“ it tears me apart j“

j“ we can try to hide it j“

j“ it's all the same j“

j“ I've been losing you j“

j“ one day at a time j“

j“ and I know in my heart, in this cold heart j“

j“ I can live or I can die j“

j“ I believe if I just try j“

j“ you believe in you and I j“

j“lnyou and/j“

j“lnyou and/j“

j“lnyou and/j“

No!

I pushed him.

- No, wait! Wait! - I did it. I did it.

Listen to me. You did not push him. And you did not push him.

No one did this. Nobody.

Call an ambulance!

What the fuck!

- You're a cop? - No, I'm not a cop.

- Well, what the fuck were you doing there? - I was...

- Bonnie saw you. - Do you wanna come in?

I can explain.

- Yeah, you better fucking explain. - Okay, um...

I was called in for questioning.

More like ordered.

By who?

- Detective quinlan. - What did she say?

She asked me about us and you

and she asked whether you had talked to me about Perry Wright's death.

What did you tell her?

I told her the truth, that you didn't tell me anything.

But, Jane, she knows your history with this guy.

She knows he raped you, she knows he's Ziggy's dad,

and she clearly doesn't think he slipped.

She said with five witnesses, the odds are in her favor,

one of you will finally crack.

The first one who does gets a break. The other four are fucked.

He went to, uh...

To kick me again and...

And I think that's when he... he must have taken a step back, and he fell.

I don't really remember because he stumbled back.

And that must have been when he fell.

Is there anything else that you would like to add?

I feel, um...

I just feel like...

I don't have a proper memory of everything,

so that's why it's a little inconsistent.

But we're not gonna break. Right?

- No. Right. - Yeah.

Okay, we're gonna keep our poise and we're gonna stay calm...

Jesus Christ, a meteor could hit and you would say, "stay calm."

Oh, fuck off, Bonnie. You know what? I'm so tired of taking care of you

- and your feelings. - Oh, my god.

I know your mom had a stroke, but you're the one who pushed him.

What the fuck you say to me?

- He slipped. - Oh, my god.

- No one pushed anybody. - All right.

- He slipped. - Come on. Bonnie.

- He slipped, right? Right? - He slipped. Right.

Right. Yeah.

- All right, let's go home. Come on. - It's all right.

Jesus.

And so I started to run at him.

And the closer I got to him,

the more I knew what I had to do.

You're still here, huh?

Yeah, I left and came back.

Doctor's gonna be here shortly with an update.

You ready?

Because I'm not.

She's too damn young, for god's sake.

You're gonna fight this.

You hear me, baby? You're gonna fight this.

What did you say?

Something in the vein of "fuck off."

I know it was rude.

I feel bad. I just...

Why were you all out there?

This secret last-minute meeting.

Were you helping Celeste prepare for her custody battle? Like...

Um, no, we were just being there for her, you know.

- And at night? - Solidarity. Yeah.

And during all this solidarity, is that when "fuck off" came up, or...?

You know, the other day, when you talked about hating yourself, there was honesty.

I mean, it gave me hope.

First time in a long time, the air felt clear.

But right now, it seems like the window is fogging up,

like you're hiding again.

- Mom? - Hey.

It's cold.

Come here.

- You couldn't sleep? - No.

He knows that I am lying about something.

We made a pact.

He's my husband.

It's a fucking pact, Madeline.

You don't tell anybody that.

I mean, you're the one that says Ed's all about truth and honesty.

- He is. - Oh, great.

So suppose he leads with that? Are you kidding me?

Then we're fucked, and Celeste is fucked first.

She'll lose her kids.

You cannot tell him that.

Yeah, it's not...

Hey, Kristen. Uh, we have a seafood watch question.

The mom with the penguin kid with the penguin hat.

You got it. Yeah.

So you're not gonna return my calls or texts because I talked to the police?

No, it has nothing to do with the police.

I just can't do this right now.

Hey, who wants to touch something prickly?

- Me. - Okay. She's just to my left.

I'm just kidding. No, I'm kidding. We have slimy kelp here.

I just want you to know how sorry I am that it's come to this.

But at the end of the day, we are still family, you know?

We're not family, Mary Louise.

All rise.

- Be seated. - Okay.

I have before me the psychiatric reports,

together with the finding of the child psychologist.

I am not satisfied.

As I stated at the outset, the court takes these matters seriously.

As both a judge and a mother,

I'm ill-inclined to remove these children from the only home they've ever known.

That said, I do have concerns.

Both parties will be provided copies of the reports today,

which I would like to enter into evidence by joint stipulation.

Given the underlying neutrality of these recommendations, I anticipate no objection.

All right. We will proceed with the evidentiary hearing tomorrow.

Mrs. Wright? I wish to first hear from you.

You will take the stand and entertain questions from me

as well as the petitioner's counsel.

Your honor, I'd like to conduct a direct first.

Not necessary. You can redirect after, should you feel the need.

Okay? See you all back here tomorrow.

Hey. No, come on.

We expected this. Come on. Come on.

- Are the boys gonna have to be here? - Not for tomorrow, no.

Celeste. There is the risk she could get full custody.

I'm not settling.

I am not settling.

- Okay. - And don't try to handle me here.

- All right? Don't do that. - Handle, no.

Advise, yes.

Farber's goal will be to make you look erratic.

I can protect you some, you just can't look like you need protection.

- Do you understand what I'm telling you? - Yeah, of course. I'm on my own.

- That's what you're saying. - You are not on your own.

But we need to be careful.

Get some rest.

There's nothing more we can do.

I'm afraid we just have to watch and wait.

Do you have any questions?

Can we kill her?

- Bonnie. - She doesn't wanna exist like this.

We can't kill her.

I know it's done. Pain management, we give her morphine.

That isn't the kind of pain we manage.

Morphine is not indicated here.

You'd do it for a dog.

- Bonnie. - What?

Enough.

Oh, it's a total nightmare.

The hearing is open to the public?

No, judge Marilyn cipriani.

I wish I knew somebody who knew somebody who knew her.

I, uh, said goodbye to amabella.

Oh, Juliette...

I kind of told her that I might be coming back,

you know, to soften the goodbye.

That was such a good idea. I know, it's...

Um, my... my lawyer said I need to talk to you

- about the severance again. - Oh, honey, I know... we know we owe it.

But now, it's... It's in the bankruptcy trustee's hands.

So first things first, we need to find you a new job.

Right, you got our letter of recommendation?

- Yeah, I did. Thank you. - Yep, sure. Of course.

- So I guess this is goodbye. - Mm.

Mm-mm.

Let's not. No, it's not goodbye here.

Because we will rise up, and when we do, we will hire you back.

- Okay. - Okay?

Okay.

Oh, I couldn't have done this without you, Juliette.

Yeah, baby!

- Good job, buddy. - That was awesome.

Good job, high-five.

Oh, my god.

That was so cool.

I love that.

- Hey. - What are you not doing in school?

- You're not suspended again, I hope. - No, it's a parent-teacher conference.

Oh, cool. Well, you... I saw you catch that wave.

You got it down. You don't need my help, huh?

No, I still need your help. I'm not that good.

She's been teaching me. Again.

- Both of you guys are so good at this. - Hey, baby.

Do you wanna just build a sandcastle for a minute?

- Give us a second to talk? - Okay.

- Thank you. - You guys wanna talk private.

- Yeah. Will you take a board? Thank you. - All right.

-Make sure you got a moat -over here.

- To keep the people out. - Your toys are over here.

- Hi. - Hey.

So you're gonna freeze me out forever?

It's gonna take me a long time to let someone in again.

I'm not walking away.

Morn, check this out.

- Bonnie, I... - Metal in the pocket.

Look, I wanna apologize for the other day. I was completely out of line.

Thanks. It's fine. We're going through a lot of stuff, you know.

No, everything your mom is going through, I had no right to speak to you like that.

And I want you to know if I can be helpful, which I...

- I don't know how I could, but I wanna be. - Thank you.

You okay?

Yeah, I'm good. Like what you said, everyone's going through stuff, and I...

- I'm no exception. - It's getting to you, isn't it?

What?

It's getting to you.

Every time. Every time. I know how you feel.

It's like they put us on a list.

Please raise your right hand. Do you swear to tell the truth,

the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, so help you god?

- I do. - Please be seated.

- Mr. Farber. - Thank you, your honor.

And nothing but the truth.

Do you have any questions concerning the oath you just took, Mrs. Wright?

- None. - Excellent.

And first off, my sympathies.

And now this. That can't be easy.

In fact, it's not been easy for a long time, has it, Mrs. Wright?

You were in an abusive relationship with your husband.

- Yes. - Physically abusive.

- Yes. - Emotionally abusive.

- Yes. - He hit you.

- Many times. - Did you ever hit him?

I mean, sometimes I would fight back.

Did you ever hit him first?

It happened, but...

I mean, more typically, he attacked me.

That must have been terrifying. Was it ever thrilling?

Thnmng?

Did the physical violence ever lead to sex?

Objection.

Overruled.

Did the physical violence ever occasion you and your late husband to have sex?

- Yes. - Great sex?

- You were aroused by the violence. - I was not aroused by the violence.

You never said that?

That the incendiary exchanges with your husband,

including the physical violence led to gratifying and passionate sex,

did you ever say that?

My relationship with my husband was very complicated.

Complicated.

Was it sick?

- It was not healthy. - Are you over your sickness?

- Objection. - Sustained.

Did you miss the violence?

No, I do not.

I... I miss my husband, but I don't miss getting beat up.

- So he beat you up often? - He did.

Did you ever call the police?

- No. - Never?

- Did you ever tell anybody? - No.

You never told anybody that your husband was hurting you?

- I told my therapist. - Are you healed now?

- Objection. - Sustained.

Do you, uh, recognize this man?

- Yes. - What's his name?

- I don't know. - Oh, not even a first name?

Urn... Jeff.

Uh, Joe. Joe. It was Joe. I... I think.

Did you have sexual relationships with Joe?

Urn, I'd... I'd had a bit to drink.

So approximately how long after you met Joe did the two of you have sex?

- Objection. - Not long enough to get his name.

- Objection. - Counsel.

Did this also get violent?

It was physical.

And are you really over your sickness?

- Objection. - Sustained.

Do you recognize this man?

Michael something.

Did you have sex with Michael something?

My social life is not... I mean, this is...

Did you have sex with Michael something?

And it also got physical?

If anything, I was the aggressor.

Oh, so where did this aggressive sex take place?

In a bathroom.

- A bathroom stall? A public bathroom stall? - Yes. Yes.

How long after you met Michael something

did you have aggressive sex in a public bathroom stall?

- Objection. - Sustained.

In the interest of time, just...

And...

No, this...

Please.

Did you have sexual relations with all these men?

Listen, this has nothing to do with my capacity to parent my children. This...

Did your children ever meet any of these men,

these sexual one-offs, your boys ever meet them?

They... they met Joe.

No others?

Um, no.

Did you ever bring any of these men home when the boys were there?

Well, once.

Once, I did, but, um, he was gone. He was gone before they woke up, so...

So if Josh were to tell his grandmother, "I tried to get into bed with mommy,

but there was a stranger there," he'd be lying?

If he said, "I tried to wake mommy up, but I couldn't,

and the stranger told me to go back to my room," that would just be his imagination?

I mean, sometimes I, um, have trouble sleeping,

and so I take Ambien, and that...

Have you ever driven while on Ambien and run off the side of a road?

Your honor, um...

- Your honor. - Answer me, please. Answer to me.

No, I would... I would like to address the court.

- Go ahead. - Um...

I have...

I drove off the road once.

I've struggled.

I've had difficulty in the wake of my husband's death,

and I've engaged in... in...

In self-destructive behavior, including, um...

- Including sexual encounters and... - Celeste.

Please, let me, I'm...

I'm not gonna look you in the eye

and say that I'm healed, but I will say this:

I am in the process of healing, and...

And through it all, I've always been a good mother.

I've always put my children's interests first,

and I've always, always kept them safe, even when...

Perry... even when...

There was a monster in the house.

Have you ever been violent with your children, Mrs. Wright?

I overreacted on two occasions.

You ever strike your mother-in-law?

I slapped her in the face.

Ever push your husband down a flight of stairs?

And how dare you?

How dare you?

This is a computer simulation of your husband's fatal fall.

Objection. Relevance,

- not to mention unfair surprise. - Take a de bene.

- This is off-the-charts prejudicial. - This isn't a jury trial, counsel,

I'll give you time to impeach if you want.

This is where your husband would have landed

from a natural fall.

Now, this is where he did land.

The physics say

that for him to have landed there,

he must have been pushed.

So I dare to ask...

Did you push him?

How did he fall?

He lost his balance and he slipped.

He lost his balance immediately after you found out

he'd been unfaithful with another woman who bore his child?

- Not relevant. - Not relevant?

- She might commit a homicide, but hey. - Objection.

All right, the objection on relevance is sustained.

Thank you, your honor. I have no further questions. Thank you.

Okay.

Shit.

God, Katie, you couldn't have out any of that off?

- Jesus Christ. - Oh, my god, she was having me followed.

- She was having me followed. - I know.

- Unbelievable. - She had pls on me. God.

This is just...

Okay, that was rougher than we thought.

You think?

Jesus Christ.

I'll need to put you back on the stand.

- No... - I need to rehabilitate you.

Deconstruct a lot of what just happened.

I don't think I can get back in that chair.

I'm sorry, but I think you have to. You can't leave it like that. You can't.

And you've been through so much, honey, but you have to fight for those boys.

You can't leave it like that.

I dare to ask,

did you ever push your husband down a flight of stairs?

- I did. - You have to fight for them.

They need you.

Well, I must say I was surprised to hear from you.

I have no intention of doing anything, okay?

Okay.

All right, part of me does want to do something,

but I've already done it, just by entertaining the idea even...

For a few minutes, I've done it.

Look, let me tell you what my shrink told me.

It's not about inflicting payback on your cheating spouse.

It's about getting a sense that you didn't just take it.

You didn't just swallow your pride

and resign yourself to being some wimpy ass victim.

But you are looking for payback.

True. I'd like both Joseph and Madeline to pay.

But I'm also attracted to you.

I keep both a masturbation diary and a bucket list.

- Lower your... - You made both.

It's not just about me getting even.

It's about me getting you.

I want you.

Don't overthink it.

We have sex.

We'll probably love it.

If we don't, we move on.

Of course, if we do love it...

We do it again.

And again.

Jesus.

J“ all the joy came over me j“

j“ when you came into my life j“

j“ sweet love that you bring me j“

j“ cutting my darkness like a knife j“

Ed, I'm at a loss.

I just hope I can convince you that I'm incapable

of doing something...

That I already did.

I just...

I hope I can earn back your trust.

Madeline, there's nothing I want more than to trust you.

And that said, I can't just wave a wand.

Neither can you.

What are you doing?

You know she's a good mother. Call this off.

Oh, I know.

I thought about doing exactly that. I really did.

But then, I...

I considered the boys and...

She's not well. Clearly, you can see that.

No, what I see is a woman who's struggling. Who isn't?

Are you struggling, Jane?

With your conscience, perhaps?

Ziggy told me you purchased a gun.

Did you plan to use it on my son?

Did you move to monterey to hunt him down?

Actually, I came to monterey in search of a good man.

A good man who happened to have a bad night. Do you know

the difficulty that my son is gonna have to face

being a product of rape because of your fucking son?

He was not a good man!

Yeah, maybe I would have fucking shot him.

I didn't get the fucking chance!

- Good night. - Good night.

Good night, babies.

Sounds like somebody's having a party.

Uh, you go ahead and put your mom's food on the counter.

I'll tell her it's here.

Okay.

J“ it's my own design j“

j“ it's my own remorse j“

j“ help me to decide j“

j“ help me make... j“

- oh, hey. - Hey.

I can explain.

I was just cleaning out my closet,

you know, and I found my wedding dress in the back.

Just kind of reminded me of a certain time

when I was a different person and...

I was so sure that I was gonna be...

A great wife.

Anyway, this is where it gets stupid,

- so brace yourself for this part. - Okay.

I put on the veil and then tried to put on the dress,

but it doesn't fit, but we're not talking about that,

just so I could reconnect to that person, and then...

I put on this song because...

Because you picked this song for our wedding

and it always makes me dance.

So that's, uh, pretty much it.

Now you're up to speed.

And I'm also out of breath.

Well, like I said before, you can't just wave a wand.

But that was pretty fucking close.

Go towards the light, baby.

Any change?

J“ everything I got is done and pawned j“

j“ everything I got is done and pawned j“

- This yours? - Thanks.

All right there, big girl, we gotta go.

Come here, sweetie. Hi.

Did I ever tell you you're the best daughter in the world?

J“ didn't I shake sugaree? J“

I love you.

I love you too.

- Bye. - Bye, sweetie.

You okay? You good?

J“ pawn by buggy j“

j“ horse and cart j“

j“ pawn everything that was on my lot j“

j“ oh, iordy me j“

j“ didn't I shake sugaree? J“

j“ everything I got is done and pawned j“

I wanna go back to yesterday,

when counsel asked you about the other men.

I have to admit, we were all a bit thrown by it.

- I was thrown. - Hmm.

I mean, I'm clearly still struggling.

Are you getting professional help?

Yes. Yes, I am, and I've stopped taking the Ambien.

And the other?

Are we dealing with some kind of sexual addiction here?

No, there's no sexual addiction.

Mrs. Wright, something seems to be going on here.

These encounters...

- Are you getting help for this? - I will.

- —You will? - Yes.

Why haven't you?

I think I've been too ashamed.

To tell your therapist, even?

Especially my therapist.

Why is that?

Because she's worked so hard on me, and...

| think I just...

I desperately wanted to see myself through her eyes and see progress.

It seems like risky behavior. How am I to trust that this will stop?

Because it will stop.

It will.

It has stopped.

All right, I have to be honest here.

It gives me pause.

I need you to explain to me, as best you can,

what you think is going on here.

I wanted to be touched. I wanted it...

I wanted it to be uncomplicated,

and I wanted to be in control, so...

And as it was said yesterday, um, the violence with Perry...

Would sometimes lead to sex, which would...

I mean, it's... it's just...

It's confusing, so...

I think that's...

And it... it sickens me.

And so that's why I was engaging with the others, because I...

These other men, because I think I wanted to be free of Perry,

and I wanna push him out.

- "Him" being your husband? - Yes. Yes.

Were you maybe looking to hurt yourself?

No, I really don't think I was doing that.

I think I just wanted to push him out.

Well, I am all too familiar that...

Many women stay with their abusers.

Tell me why you stayed.

Um, because...

I loved him, and I thought... and... but I...

I just always thought he would get better.

- But he didn't. - No, he didn't.

And when I was happy, I stayed because I was happy

and when I was depressed, I stayed because I was depressed.

I mean, either way, I was afraid

if I left him of what he might do. I was afraid how he would react.

I was afraid of being alone. I was...

So I stayed. I stayed to survive.

I stayed for my boys.

Yeah. I'm good.

Thank you.

I dare to ask...

I'm right here, mama.

Can you see me?

How you doing?

Well, it looks like it's time.

I have to confess something that I'm not so proud of.

And as I was writing...

I realized I needed to confess to you first.

So here it goes.

I resent you...

For the childhood I had.

I resent you for your impatience...

For being scared of doing my homework without being yelled at...

For all the kitchen cabinet doors you slammed...

For slapping me,

for all the bruises.

I resent you for not feeling safe at home.

I resent you for being ashamed of me.

I resent you for all the sex I started to have

when I was 13

to prove to myself that I could be loved.

I resent you for my wanting to beat the shit out of everyone.

I resent you for making me feel so fucking worthless

that I settled for a man that I don't...

But mainly...

I resent you...

For killing a man.

I killed Celeste's husband,

and he didn't slip.

I pushed him.

Isnapped, and...

When I lunged at him,

I... I was pushing you.

And that push was a long time coming.

And I wanna forgive you.

There was an incident where a little girl was being bullied,

bitten, choked.

The bully was your son.

My sons are good boys.

So given your struggles, why not let them stay

with their grandmother while you heal?

I am their mother.

And they belong with me.

- Robert johannsson. - Yeah.

And this was for a model train?

A Lionel union pacific car.

It's, uh, vintage.

Stated value is $2200. Probably worth closer to 3000.

Duly noted.

Marshall brickman.

No Marshall brickman?

All right, Juliette Dubois.

And you're seeking severance in the amount of $72,000?

Yes, sir. I worked there for six years.

Okay. And what is this "other" listed?

Hundred and sixty thousand dollars?

That's for other services rendered,

for which I was promised to be taken care of.

And what other services?

Uh... stress management.

Can you be more specific?

I just like to leave it at that if I could.

I still love you. You know that, right?

Shut the fuck up

for the rest of your fucked-up fucking life.

Do you hear me?

I don't wanna hear one fucking word

from your fucked-up little fucking twerp mouth

on why you fucked up,

no matter what fucked-up excuse you come up with.

You fucking... fuck! Shit!

The fucking nanny?

All rise.

Be seated.

As I said, I find the psychiatric reports

and the custody evals a bit of a wash,

but I think I have a pretty good grasp of what we're dealing with here.

And I'm prepared to enter my finding at this time.

In the case...

- Mrs. Wright. - I would like to call a witness.

I don't think a character witness would carry much weight...

This is not a character witness.

You've been asked to decide where my boys would be better off.

That puts in question the petitioner's fitness as well.

I was examined. She should be too.

There has been no suggestion that my client's parental capacity

- is up for review. - I'm making that suggestion now.

I was fair game. So is she.

All right. We will schedule the petitioner's testimony for Tuesday.

And with the court's permission, I would like to question her myself.

I don't think that's wise.

I'm an attorney. I have a current bar license.

I'm entitled to participate in my own defense.

That may very well be true, but I don't think it's in your best interest.

It's my fight, your honor. I ask that you let me wage it.

Very well.

Tuesday at 1:00.

Until then, we're adjourned.

J“ golden days before they end j“

j“ whisper secrets to the wind j“

j“ your baby won't be near you anymore j“

j“ tender nights before they fly j“

j“ send falling stars that seem to cry j“

j“ your baby doesn't want you j“

j“ anymore j“

j“ it's over j“

j“ it breaks your heart in two j“

j“ to know she's been untrue j“

j“ but, oh, what will you do j“

j“ when she says to you "there's someone new"? J“

j“ we 're through j“

j“ we 're through j“

j“ it's over j“

j“ it's over j“

j“ it's over j“

j“ all the rainbows in the sky j“

j“ start to weep, then say goodbye j“

j“ you won't be seeing rainbows j“

j“ anymore j“

j“ setting suns before they fall j“

j“ echo to you that's all, that's all j“

j“ but you'll see lonely sunset j“

j“ after all j“

j“ it's over, it's over, it's over j“

j“ it's over j“