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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:09,750 --> 00:00:11,416 Congratulations. 2 00:00:11,500 --> 00:00:13,333 Oh, my God! Darce, I'm kvelling. 3 00:00:13,416 --> 00:00:15,125 I am positively kvelling right now. 4 00:00:15,208 --> 00:00:17,332 - It looks just like me. - Hey! Look over here. 5 00:00:17,416 --> 00:00:18,625 - Let me just get your eyes. - No. 6 00:00:18,707 --> 00:00:20,916 - I wanna get the light on your eyes. - Nine hours of labor. 7 00:00:21,000 --> 00:00:22,791 - It's so cinematic. - I'm covered in sweat. 8 00:00:22,875 --> 00:00:24,207 - This is not a good look. - Oh. 9 00:00:24,291 --> 00:00:26,500 - Would you like me to hold the camera? - Oh, that's perfect. 10 00:00:26,582 --> 00:00:28,332 Make sure you frame all three of us, please? 11 00:00:28,416 --> 00:00:31,041 Howard, it's our baby. 12 00:00:31,125 --> 00:00:32,540 Or it will be, right? 13 00:00:32,625 --> 00:00:34,415 When do you think this thing is gonna hatch? 14 00:00:34,500 --> 00:00:37,540 I don't know. It's gonna hatch in... you know, uh... 15 00:00:38,290 --> 00:00:39,625 whatever the normal... 16 00:00:40,750 --> 00:00:45,082 In an instant, Howard and Darcy The Duck's whole world changed. 17 00:00:45,165 --> 00:00:46,165 Little did they know 18 00:00:46,250 --> 00:00:49,290 their child was destined to change everyone else's too. 19 00:00:52,582 --> 00:00:53,625 Time. 20 00:00:56,875 --> 00:00:57,957 Space. 21 00:00:59,665 --> 00:01:00,707 Reality. 22 00:01:03,582 --> 00:01:05,250 It's more than a linear path. 23 00:01:10,125 --> 00:01:14,625 It's a prism of endless possibility, 24 00:01:17,165 --> 00:01:20,582 where a single choice can branch out into infinite realities, 25 00:01:23,375 --> 00:01:26,125 creating alternate worlds from the ones you know. 26 00:01:30,250 --> 00:01:31,582 I am the Watcher. 27 00:01:33,832 --> 00:01:37,000 I am your guide through these vast new realities. 28 00:01:38,415 --> 00:01:41,915 Follow me and ponder the question... 29 00:01:45,582 --> 00:01:47,207 "What if?" 30 00:01:52,332 --> 00:01:54,750 And to think a romance that could change the world, 31 00:01:54,832 --> 00:01:57,000 all began at a party. 32 00:01:57,540 --> 00:02:01,790 An intergalactic blowout thrown by the party prince of Asgard himself... 33 00:02:01,875 --> 00:02:03,082 Huzzah! 34 00:02:03,165 --> 00:02:05,500 ...that introduced Earth to the stars... 35 00:02:05,582 --> 00:02:08,665 ...and Howard The Duck to Darcy Lewis. 36 00:02:08,750 --> 00:02:11,582 Well, it's happy hour. Want some half-priced nachos? 37 00:02:11,665 --> 00:02:14,625 Okay, fine, Duck. But this is not a date. 38 00:02:16,415 --> 00:02:17,707 She was right. 39 00:02:18,207 --> 00:02:19,415 It was so much more. 40 00:02:21,540 --> 00:02:23,957 I now pronounce you Darcy, and uh, Duck. 41 00:02:24,707 --> 00:02:27,957 But Howard and Darcy's lives weren't the only ones changed 42 00:02:28,040 --> 00:02:29,750 by Thor's Midgard rager. 43 00:02:29,832 --> 00:02:32,875 The party may have ended but the guests never left, 44 00:02:32,957 --> 00:02:37,165 as the worlds of Earth and the Cosmos became forever intertwined, 45 00:02:37,750 --> 00:02:39,665 just like Howard and Darcy. 46 00:02:50,457 --> 00:02:53,915 Hey, enough! The '80s called, they want their song back. 47 00:02:54,000 --> 00:02:56,125 That's so funny. 48 00:02:56,207 --> 00:03:00,582 Or it would be, except for the fact that KISS wrote that song in '79! A-duh! 49 00:03:00,665 --> 00:03:03,957 Sorry, Mrs. Switzler, we're just trying to put the baby to sleep. 50 00:03:04,040 --> 00:03:05,500 With what? Torture? 51 00:03:05,582 --> 00:03:08,000 Hey, we worked really hard on those two-part harmonies! 52 00:03:08,082 --> 00:03:10,415 Okay. And I'm sure the baby loves them. 53 00:03:10,500 --> 00:03:12,082 Look, look, look. See... 54 00:03:13,040 --> 00:03:14,415 fast asleep. 55 00:03:17,875 --> 00:03:19,832 I don't appreciate how dismissive she is. 56 00:03:19,915 --> 00:03:21,625 Okay, it doesn't matter. 57 00:03:24,290 --> 00:03:26,707 Will you look at us... nesting? 58 00:03:26,790 --> 00:03:28,375 Well, we are the The Ducks. 59 00:03:28,457 --> 00:03:30,790 I guess that tracks. 60 00:03:30,875 --> 00:03:31,875 Huh? 61 00:03:33,707 --> 00:03:34,790 You've been served... 62 00:03:34,875 --> 00:03:35,875 - What? - What? No. 63 00:03:35,957 --> 00:03:37,250 Those charges were dropped. 64 00:03:37,332 --> 00:03:38,332 With two tickets. 65 00:03:38,415 --> 00:03:42,000 All expenses paid to the Grandmaster's Grand Cruise Across the Stars. 66 00:03:42,082 --> 00:03:44,082 - Hello. - Wait! For us? 67 00:03:44,165 --> 00:03:46,000 - Targeted advertising. - Oh. 68 00:03:46,082 --> 00:03:48,457 It'll be an experience you'll never forget. 69 00:03:48,957 --> 00:03:51,875 Ahoy there, Sailors of the Stars. 70 00:03:51,957 --> 00:03:56,040 Time to check your worries at the gate, and toss those inhibitions overboard 71 00:03:56,125 --> 00:03:58,750 because when you're riding on the SS Grand Master, 72 00:03:58,832 --> 00:04:01,582 adventure has no boundaries. 73 00:04:01,665 --> 00:04:04,415 Howard, have you seen this itinerary? 74 00:04:04,500 --> 00:04:06,957 Couples cliff diving on Vormir... 75 00:04:07,040 --> 00:04:10,457 Oh, yeah, they say you can only truly appreciate it with someone you love. 76 00:04:10,540 --> 00:04:14,000 Oh, a lava boat ride through the canals of Muspelheim. 77 00:04:14,082 --> 00:04:17,540 Wait, you don't think that could, like, hard-boil our baby or anything, right? 78 00:04:17,625 --> 00:04:20,625 Darce, you heard the lady. This is a family cruise line. 79 00:04:20,707 --> 00:04:22,332 - They know what they're doing. - Of course. 80 00:04:22,415 --> 00:04:25,332 Now come on, I wanna hit that buffet before everyone breathes on it. 81 00:04:25,415 --> 00:04:28,165 Howard, oh, my God! Hold on to the baby. 82 00:04:28,250 --> 00:04:30,165 - The baby, get it. - All right, I got it. 83 00:04:30,250 --> 00:04:31,250 Whoa! Oh-ho! 84 00:04:31,332 --> 00:04:33,957 - We're floating! - I see we're lightening up already. 85 00:04:36,540 --> 00:04:37,915 I got eyes on the package. 86 00:04:38,000 --> 00:04:40,290 Inform the buyer we'll intercept it off-world. 87 00:04:43,750 --> 00:04:45,540 - Oh, boy! - This is very nice. 88 00:04:45,625 --> 00:04:47,707 This is just too much. Look at us. 89 00:04:47,790 --> 00:04:49,915 - I know. Look at us. - Lei for your neck. 90 00:04:50,000 --> 00:04:52,457 Welcome cocktail to lower inhibitions. 91 00:04:52,540 --> 00:04:55,457 Darcy, check out these leis. They're not even plastic. 92 00:04:55,540 --> 00:04:56,957 That is a classy touch. 93 00:04:57,040 --> 00:05:00,125 Ooh, and this welcome drink. It tastes like a warm hug, 94 00:05:00,208 --> 00:05:02,000 and vodka, mostly vodka. 95 00:05:02,083 --> 00:05:03,790 - Here. Have another. - Have another. 96 00:05:03,875 --> 00:05:06,000 Okay. That's not... 97 00:05:06,083 --> 00:05:08,250 Please, I insist. 98 00:05:08,333 --> 00:05:10,540 On the SS Grand Master, it's not a bad decision 99 00:05:10,625 --> 00:05:13,625 - if you don't remember it. - Oh, my God! Howard! It's the guy. 100 00:05:13,708 --> 00:05:15,250 - I gotta fight this guy? - No, no, no. 101 00:05:15,333 --> 00:05:16,832 - DJ Foam. - DJ Foam! 102 00:05:16,915 --> 00:05:18,290 - Yeah. - The Grandmaster. 103 00:05:19,500 --> 00:05:21,915 Bowing is optional. I'm not that big of a deal. 104 00:05:22,000 --> 00:05:24,625 - I take that back. I am a big deal. - Hey! 105 00:05:24,707 --> 00:05:27,582 Really, we cannot thank you enough for these tickets. 106 00:05:27,665 --> 00:05:31,125 Ah, for you crazy kids? Nothing I love more than a wholesome... 107 00:05:31,207 --> 00:05:34,000 - Oh! Oh! - Uh... 108 00:05:34,082 --> 00:05:38,290 This must be the adorable little reason we're all here today. 109 00:05:39,540 --> 00:05:40,540 Now, look at this. 110 00:05:40,625 --> 00:05:43,415 Now, what you have here is the Galaxy's finest selection 111 00:05:43,500 --> 00:05:47,915 of sitters, swaddlers, sleep trainers, nannies, au pairs, governesses, plus... 112 00:05:48,000 --> 00:05:50,250 Topaz here is actually an excellent wet nurse. 113 00:05:50,332 --> 00:05:51,332 That part's extra. 114 00:05:51,415 --> 00:05:52,625 All at your disposal. 115 00:05:52,707 --> 00:05:56,415 So you two can enjoy some much-deserved mommy and daddy time. 116 00:05:56,500 --> 00:05:57,500 Uh... 117 00:05:58,582 --> 00:06:00,458 I mean, he doesn't not have a point. 118 00:06:00,625 --> 00:06:01,625 Mmm. 119 00:06:03,458 --> 00:06:05,040 Wow! 120 00:06:05,125 --> 00:06:06,208 First-time parents? 121 00:06:06,290 --> 00:06:08,250 Mm-hmm. Yep. Our first one. 122 00:06:09,250 --> 00:06:10,415 Yeah, I can tell. 123 00:06:11,165 --> 00:06:15,165 The Grandmaster's Grand Welcome Brunch will begin shortly. 124 00:06:15,250 --> 00:06:19,665 The "Grand" part wasn't false advertising, I'll give him that. This is quite grand. 125 00:06:19,750 --> 00:06:25,415 Now, of course, our guests of honor have a special seat reserved for them 126 00:06:25,500 --> 00:06:27,290 at the head of the table. 127 00:06:27,375 --> 00:06:28,375 Oh! 128 00:06:28,457 --> 00:06:30,165 - Well, that's nice. - Very fancy. 129 00:06:30,250 --> 00:06:32,207 - The chair is well-padded. - Ahem, ahem! 130 00:06:32,290 --> 00:06:36,582 Diners and dinettes, gather in, settle down. 131 00:06:37,457 --> 00:06:38,457 Hmm. 132 00:06:38,540 --> 00:06:42,040 And, uh, most importantly, raise a glass. 133 00:06:42,750 --> 00:06:45,082 Hope you all came hungry, because once you get a taste... 134 00:06:45,165 --> 00:06:47,625 Quite the hoopla just for breakfast, huh? 135 00:06:48,582 --> 00:06:51,750 Hey! Hey, Howard, Howard, I can't make heads or tails of this menu. 136 00:06:51,832 --> 00:06:53,665 - You speak, uh, hoity-toity? - I do not. 137 00:06:53,750 --> 00:06:55,625 But my phone does. 138 00:06:55,707 --> 00:06:57,040 Yeah, let's see what we got. 139 00:06:57,125 --> 00:06:59,625 Here we go. "The Grandmaster invites you 140 00:06:59,707 --> 00:07:02,540 "to feast on Howard and Darcy The Duck." 141 00:07:02,625 --> 00:07:03,625 Wait! What? 142 00:07:04,208 --> 00:07:06,333 Wait, wait, wait. It's "feast your eyes." 143 00:07:06,415 --> 00:07:08,500 "Feast your eyes." Okay, I guess that's nice. 144 00:07:08,583 --> 00:07:10,875 Ah... 145 00:07:10,958 --> 00:07:13,583 Uh, today's special 146 00:07:13,665 --> 00:07:18,375 is an entrée, uh-huh, like no other. 147 00:07:18,457 --> 00:07:21,000 Born of two worlds... 148 00:07:21,082 --> 00:07:22,290 Born of two worlds? 149 00:07:22,375 --> 00:07:25,415 ...a true cosmic wonder. 150 00:07:27,790 --> 00:07:29,457 - Uh, Howard... - Wait, it says, 151 00:07:29,540 --> 00:07:32,250 "To feast your eyes on Howard and Darcy The Duck's 152 00:07:32,332 --> 00:07:33,500 - "homemade..." - Howard! 153 00:07:33,582 --> 00:07:35,875 Oh, no, is this supposed to be a potluck? 154 00:07:37,457 --> 00:07:38,500 Howard! 155 00:07:38,582 --> 00:07:40,540 - Look at the baby! - Yep. Hold on. 156 00:07:41,707 --> 00:07:43,582 Darce, they wanna eat the baby! 157 00:07:43,665 --> 00:07:46,500 No, duh, Howard, we've got a Hannibal Lecter situation! 158 00:07:47,875 --> 00:07:52,290 Oh, let the brunch begi... 159 00:07:54,957 --> 00:07:58,790 What? Oh, my gosh! Captain Mohawk saved our baby! 160 00:07:58,875 --> 00:08:01,790 Sorry to spoil y'all's breakfast, folks. 161 00:08:01,875 --> 00:08:05,208 But I was hopin' to grab a little somethin' to go. Ta-ta! 162 00:08:05,708 --> 00:08:08,333 Oh, my gosh! Captain Mohawk stole our baby! 163 00:08:08,415 --> 00:08:11,083 No, no, no! Hey, Space Pirates! 164 00:08:11,165 --> 00:08:13,000 What're you waiting for? Come on, Duck! 165 00:08:15,290 --> 00:08:17,125 Coast clear, let's get to the life rafts! 166 00:08:18,082 --> 00:08:19,457 All right, here we go! 167 00:08:19,540 --> 00:08:21,082 Howard, are you sure you can fly this? 168 00:08:21,165 --> 00:08:23,832 Are you kidding? I'm a duck. I was born to fly. Strap in. 169 00:08:26,875 --> 00:08:28,165 Oh, move over! 170 00:08:31,500 --> 00:08:33,790 Faster, baby! Faster! We almost got him! 171 00:08:33,875 --> 00:08:36,040 Aah, come on, get it together, Darcy. 172 00:08:36,125 --> 00:08:37,790 This is just like Galaga. 173 00:08:41,665 --> 00:08:43,540 Whoa! Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! 174 00:08:46,540 --> 00:08:48,040 - What? - Aah! 175 00:08:48,125 --> 00:08:50,375 - It just... It just disappear... - But they were right... 176 00:08:50,457 --> 00:08:54,625 I don't know what we were thinking. Nothing good ever happens on a cruise! 177 00:08:55,290 --> 00:08:57,082 I'm sorry. 178 00:08:58,290 --> 00:08:59,290 This was a mistake. 179 00:08:59,790 --> 00:09:02,207 Our baby is... gone. 180 00:09:04,166 --> 00:09:05,541 We had one job. 181 00:09:06,500 --> 00:09:07,582 And we failed. 182 00:09:09,082 --> 00:09:10,791 What? What are you doing? 183 00:09:10,875 --> 00:09:13,541 Calling the fuzz! Clearly, we can't do this on our own! 184 00:09:16,582 --> 00:09:18,582 Um, it's about the Convergence case, sir. 185 00:09:18,666 --> 00:09:20,666 This couple could be the lead we've been waiting for. 186 00:09:20,750 --> 00:09:22,041 And what did you say their name was? 187 00:09:22,125 --> 00:09:24,625 - That would be the The Ducks, sir. - Huh? 188 00:09:24,707 --> 00:09:26,791 What the hell is going on, Director? 189 00:09:26,875 --> 00:09:28,875 First the Grandmaster, now the Ravagers? 190 00:09:28,957 --> 00:09:31,166 Why are all these people after our baby? 191 00:09:31,250 --> 00:09:33,915 I assure you, Mr. and Mrs... The Duck, 192 00:09:34,000 --> 00:09:37,790 recovering your egg has become S.H.I.E.L.D.'s priority number one. 193 00:09:37,875 --> 00:09:40,915 Oh, yeah? You and everyone else in the galaxy, apparently. 194 00:09:41,000 --> 00:09:43,290 What the hell is so special about our kid, anyway? 195 00:09:43,375 --> 00:09:44,375 - Howard! - Ow! 196 00:09:44,457 --> 00:09:46,665 I mean, besides the fact that they're our kid. 197 00:09:46,750 --> 00:09:49,707 What do you know about the Cosmic Convergence? 198 00:09:49,790 --> 00:09:51,625 Wait. The Convergence? 199 00:09:51,707 --> 00:09:54,000 - Wasn't that on my due date? - Exactly. 200 00:09:54,082 --> 00:09:58,000 And many believe the planetary alignment was a sign. 201 00:09:58,082 --> 00:10:00,041 The birth of a great new power. 202 00:10:00,125 --> 00:10:02,541 You think it's our child? 203 00:10:02,625 --> 00:10:04,082 I guess, deep down, I always knew 204 00:10:04,166 --> 00:10:06,416 our little champ was destined for big things. 205 00:10:06,500 --> 00:10:08,332 Uh, a word, sir. 206 00:10:14,541 --> 00:10:16,832 ...our satellites picked up a Ravager ship making the jump 207 00:10:16,916 --> 00:10:18,207 out of the Cat's Eye Nebula. 208 00:10:18,291 --> 00:10:20,541 It could indicate they're meeting with The Collector. 209 00:10:20,625 --> 00:10:21,625 Hm. 210 00:10:22,582 --> 00:10:25,957 Best you leave this with the experts, Mr. and Mrs... The Duck. 211 00:10:26,457 --> 00:10:31,500 We'll see to it your Egg stays out of the wrong hands. 212 00:10:32,000 --> 00:10:33,125 Fury out! 213 00:10:33,625 --> 00:10:35,540 Screw this! Well, I'm not waiting for the five-oh. 214 00:10:35,625 --> 00:10:37,540 If the Ravagers are workin' for The Collector, 215 00:10:37,625 --> 00:10:38,957 then we know where they're headed. 216 00:10:39,040 --> 00:10:40,250 - Where? - Knowhere. 217 00:10:40,332 --> 00:10:41,540 - What? - Knowhere. 218 00:10:41,625 --> 00:10:43,582 Well, they've gotta be going somewhere. 219 00:10:43,665 --> 00:10:44,790 Knowhere. 220 00:10:44,875 --> 00:10:46,125 - Howard? - Knowhere. 221 00:10:46,207 --> 00:10:48,415 Where are they going? 222 00:10:57,832 --> 00:10:59,582 Milord Yondu Udonta, 223 00:10:59,665 --> 00:11:05,500 I present to you, Kaecilius, Master of the Dark Arts. 224 00:11:05,582 --> 00:11:09,500 Only in silence can you hear the whispers from the Dark. 225 00:11:09,582 --> 00:11:10,875 Oh-ho! Whoa! 226 00:11:10,957 --> 00:11:12,666 What happened to The Collector? 227 00:11:12,750 --> 00:11:15,166 He's been... collected. 228 00:11:15,250 --> 00:11:17,375 Trapped inside the Mirror Dimension. 229 00:11:17,457 --> 00:11:19,957 But we knew the most powerful relics in the Cosmos 230 00:11:20,041 --> 00:11:23,750 always seem to find their way here... eventually. 231 00:11:23,832 --> 00:11:26,375 Listen, man. Word on the street here 232 00:11:26,457 --> 00:11:29,416 is that this egg is a pretty hot damn commodity. 233 00:11:29,500 --> 00:11:34,207 I got offers comin' in from Dark Elves and an Olympic God. 234 00:11:34,290 --> 00:11:37,750 You get what I'm sayin'? So, our price just went up. 235 00:11:38,375 --> 00:11:39,540 I'm sorry, Captain, 236 00:11:39,625 --> 00:11:41,790 but Dormammu does not come to bargain. 237 00:11:52,915 --> 00:11:54,915 Jeez, easy, Darce. The wall, the wall. 238 00:11:55,000 --> 00:11:56,375 - It's fine! - Oh, oh! 239 00:11:56,457 --> 00:11:57,457 Quiet, Howard! 240 00:11:57,540 --> 00:11:59,165 You know I can't park when someone is watching! 241 00:11:59,250 --> 00:12:00,291 I'm lookin' away. 242 00:12:03,541 --> 00:12:04,666 That was great, babe. Wow. 243 00:12:06,457 --> 00:12:10,625 Whoa, can't believe you escaped through the sewage tunnels. 244 00:12:11,791 --> 00:12:14,125 You won't even use a public restroom. 245 00:12:14,207 --> 00:12:16,291 I'm not proud of it. I did what I had to do. 246 00:12:16,375 --> 00:12:19,000 Shh! Howard, I hear something creepy. 247 00:12:19,750 --> 00:12:20,750 Do you hear that? 248 00:12:31,875 --> 00:12:33,665 - Yeah, it's very creepy. - It's very creepy! 249 00:12:43,250 --> 00:12:44,665 Howard! 250 00:12:49,500 --> 00:12:51,457 What in the name of Eyes Wide Shut! 251 00:12:55,500 --> 00:12:56,875 - ...Dormammu. - ...Dormammu. 252 00:12:56,957 --> 00:12:58,665 - Yeah, that is right. - Crushin' it. 253 00:13:03,166 --> 00:13:05,041 That's our baby! 254 00:13:05,125 --> 00:13:07,332 Oh, no! There's gotta be something we can do! 255 00:13:15,000 --> 00:13:17,832 So, uh, excuse me. What's the deal with the magic act? 256 00:13:17,916 --> 00:13:20,957 We know. Obviously. We just wanna hear it in your words. 257 00:13:21,041 --> 00:13:24,791 Quiet! The "ensoulment" is about to begin. 258 00:13:24,875 --> 00:13:26,582 - Ensoulment? - Ensoulment? 259 00:13:28,582 --> 00:13:34,457 Behold, our Dark Master, Dormammu! 260 00:13:41,207 --> 00:13:44,082 Dormammu, we present to you an offering. 261 00:13:44,625 --> 00:13:47,540 A powerful vessel to serve as your host body, 262 00:13:47,625 --> 00:13:50,125 from which you will be born anew. 263 00:13:50,207 --> 00:13:51,207 Howard! I think 264 00:13:51,290 --> 00:13:54,500 they're tryna Rosemary's Baby this Dormammu guy into our baby! 265 00:13:54,582 --> 00:13:55,915 No. No. No. 266 00:13:58,082 --> 00:13:59,332 Did I get it? 267 00:13:59,415 --> 00:14:01,250 - What the... - What? No! 268 00:14:06,207 --> 00:14:07,916 S.H.I.E.L.D.! Nobody move! 269 00:14:08,000 --> 00:14:10,082 I didn't do it! I'm innocent, I tell you! 270 00:14:10,166 --> 00:14:12,332 Relax, Howard. He's not here for us, remember? 271 00:14:12,416 --> 00:14:14,750 Right. Right. It's just a force of habit. 272 00:14:15,832 --> 00:14:17,250 Hands out of your robes, now! 273 00:14:17,332 --> 00:14:21,875 You are in possession of unauthorized level 11 cosmic contraband. 274 00:14:22,457 --> 00:14:25,500 I would suggest you stand down, Director. 275 00:14:25,582 --> 00:14:28,666 You've no idea what you've found yourself in the middle of. 276 00:14:28,750 --> 00:14:32,582 I understand enough to know that the galaxy will be safest 277 00:14:32,665 --> 00:14:34,375 with that Egg in S.H.I.E.L.D.'s hands. 278 00:14:34,457 --> 00:14:36,500 Uh, S.H.I.E.L.D.'s hands? 279 00:14:36,582 --> 00:14:39,082 Thanks, but no thanks, my dude. 280 00:14:39,165 --> 00:14:42,375 Yeah. Look, Your Honor, I appreciate the search and rescue, 281 00:14:42,457 --> 00:14:45,040 but I don't think we're in the market for childcare. 282 00:14:45,125 --> 00:14:46,415 Who the hell are these two? 283 00:14:46,500 --> 00:14:47,915 We're the parents. 284 00:14:48,000 --> 00:14:50,082 I'm sorry, Mr. and Mrs. The Duck, 285 00:14:50,165 --> 00:14:53,125 but S.H.I.E.L.D. can't entrust a being this powerful 286 00:14:53,207 --> 00:14:55,582 to a first-time mom and a gambling addict. 287 00:14:55,665 --> 00:14:58,207 - Hey! - Recovering gambling addict, thank you! 288 00:14:58,290 --> 00:15:00,250 I got the chip. That's the wrong chip. 289 00:15:00,332 --> 00:15:02,000 Coulson, carton it. 290 00:15:07,666 --> 00:15:12,416 It appears you need some help reorienting your perspective. 291 00:15:17,082 --> 00:15:18,582 I don't like it! 292 00:15:21,582 --> 00:15:23,125 If that's how it's gonna be... 293 00:15:28,291 --> 00:15:30,750 For Dormam... 294 00:15:30,832 --> 00:15:31,832 Get it, get it! 295 00:15:33,415 --> 00:15:35,625 - Get it! - Get it! I got my... 296 00:15:38,082 --> 00:15:39,082 Huh? 297 00:15:39,165 --> 00:15:40,790 All right. 298 00:15:43,500 --> 00:15:45,207 Let's go. 299 00:15:46,665 --> 00:15:47,665 Do you hear that? 300 00:15:47,750 --> 00:15:49,625 - Oh? - Oh-ho-ho! 301 00:15:49,707 --> 00:15:51,332 Ask and you shall receive. 302 00:15:51,415 --> 00:15:52,540 I didn't hear you ask anyone. 303 00:15:52,625 --> 00:15:55,415 Well, I was askin', babe. You know, in my head. 304 00:15:58,500 --> 00:16:01,416 Breaking Space News, Terran defense force, S.H.I.E.L.D., 305 00:16:01,500 --> 00:16:04,457 has issued an Ivory Alert for a missing cosmic relic, 306 00:16:04,541 --> 00:16:07,207 last seen leaving Knowhere in a Sakaaran vessel. 307 00:16:07,291 --> 00:16:11,375 Well, look at us, like an intergalactic Bonnie and Clyde. 308 00:16:11,457 --> 00:16:14,250 Have you seen that movie, Howard? It does not end great for them. 309 00:16:14,916 --> 00:16:17,166 Look, we need to find someplace where we can lay low. 310 00:16:17,791 --> 00:16:21,791 Not to worry. I know just the place where we can chill. 311 00:16:23,082 --> 00:16:26,875 For too long, Jotunheim has been relegated to the shadows. 312 00:16:26,957 --> 00:16:31,125 But with this, the Nine Realms will have no choice 313 00:16:31,207 --> 00:16:34,582 but to bear witness to our glorious purpose. 314 00:16:35,125 --> 00:16:39,957 Right here at the Jotun Slopes luxury hotel, resort, and casino. 315 00:16:40,040 --> 00:16:42,750 The future of intergalactic winter sports. 316 00:16:43,457 --> 00:16:44,625 That's pretty cool, right? 317 00:16:44,707 --> 00:16:47,750 I mean, my father's not 100% on board just yet, 318 00:16:47,832 --> 00:16:49,957 but, you know, I'm gonna get him there. 319 00:16:50,040 --> 00:16:53,332 Dude, we didn't come here for a sales pitch. We came for your help. 320 00:16:53,415 --> 00:16:55,707 You know, I thought so, and let me just cut to the chase. 321 00:16:55,790 --> 00:16:58,457 I can't wait to be your baby's godfather. 322 00:16:58,540 --> 00:17:00,791 I'm so honored. Thank you. This means the world. 323 00:17:00,875 --> 00:17:02,541 - Is this guy serious right now? - Uh. 324 00:17:02,625 --> 00:17:05,333 Listen, as swell as that offer is... 325 00:17:05,415 --> 00:17:07,290 - Yeah. - Really, we're very touched. 326 00:17:07,375 --> 00:17:09,415 What we need right now is shelter. 327 00:17:09,500 --> 00:17:12,040 We're kinda on the lam from a couple of cops. 328 00:17:12,125 --> 00:17:13,915 - And sorcerers. - Pirates, too. 329 00:17:14,000 --> 00:17:15,458 So, what do you say? Can you help us out? 330 00:17:15,540 --> 00:17:16,540 What're you talking about? 331 00:17:16,625 --> 00:17:19,915 You're my brother from another mother's old lady's sister from another mister. 332 00:17:20,625 --> 00:17:21,750 Uh... 333 00:17:21,833 --> 00:17:23,415 You're practically family. 334 00:17:23,500 --> 00:17:26,250 Thanks, man. I mean, it has been a long trip, 335 00:17:26,333 --> 00:17:28,790 and we have not been able to catch a break. 336 00:17:31,333 --> 00:17:35,125 Oh! Is that guests already? Hang on, wait, our soft opening isn't for a few days. 337 00:17:35,208 --> 00:17:38,083 I don't think they're here for you. 338 00:17:43,208 --> 00:17:48,540 Mr. and Mrs. The Duck, I told you to leave this to us! 339 00:17:48,625 --> 00:17:50,500 Ah, Sir Nicholas Fury! 340 00:17:50,583 --> 00:17:52,040 Let's go! 341 00:17:55,290 --> 00:17:56,458 Quickly. Quickly. 342 00:17:56,540 --> 00:17:57,540 Oh, Father! 343 00:17:57,625 --> 00:18:02,790 So much for this grand opening of yours, my son. 344 00:18:02,875 --> 00:18:05,708 These are my friends. See them to safety, yes? 345 00:18:05,790 --> 00:18:07,958 Or we can take this... 346 00:18:08,040 --> 00:18:09,583 - Dad! What are you doing? - No, no, no! 347 00:18:09,665 --> 00:18:13,083 - Give it back. - And return Jotunheim to its former glory. 348 00:18:13,165 --> 00:18:14,708 No! No return to former glory! 349 00:18:14,790 --> 00:18:16,208 - This is embarrassing! - S.H.I.E.L.D.! 350 00:18:16,290 --> 00:18:17,290 - Nobody move! - Dad! 351 00:18:17,375 --> 00:18:18,665 Surrender the artifact! 352 00:18:18,750 --> 00:18:21,165 My brother from another mother will not look kindly on this. 353 00:18:23,165 --> 00:18:24,500 See? I told you. 354 00:18:30,540 --> 00:18:34,000 I don't think it's who you think it is. 355 00:18:34,875 --> 00:18:37,958 Kneel before Zeus! 356 00:18:38,040 --> 00:18:40,458 Oh, good, you're already kneeling. 357 00:18:40,540 --> 00:18:43,208 Now, where is this Egg I saw written in the stars? 358 00:18:43,290 --> 00:18:45,708 Okay, cool. Well, we're heading south for the winter. 359 00:18:45,790 --> 00:18:47,333 Never been much of a snowbird anyway. 360 00:18:47,415 --> 00:18:48,958 - Darce, let's get outta here. - Come on! 361 00:18:50,333 --> 00:18:51,500 Hey, what do I got? 362 00:18:51,583 --> 00:18:54,915 Thunderbolt! Thunderbolt! Thunderbolt, thunderbolt! 363 00:18:55,000 --> 00:18:56,208 That guy shocked me! 364 00:18:56,290 --> 00:18:57,708 I'm comin' back for you, buddy! 365 00:18:58,250 --> 00:18:59,250 Darce! 366 00:18:59,333 --> 00:19:03,750 Hark, the child born under the stars of the Convergence is ours to take. 367 00:19:03,833 --> 00:19:09,790 And with it, we shall finally plunge the Nine Realms into eternal darkness. 368 00:19:09,875 --> 00:19:12,290 Get out of my way! I am a Master of the Dark Arts! 369 00:19:12,375 --> 00:19:14,790 I'm a Dark Elf. It's in the name, you dimwit! 370 00:19:14,875 --> 00:19:16,290 - Heretic! - Thunderbolt! 371 00:19:16,875 --> 00:19:17,958 Hey! 372 00:19:18,040 --> 00:19:20,083 Hear me and rejoice. 373 00:19:20,165 --> 00:19:23,290 Oh, no! You're not getting your mitts on our magical kid! 374 00:19:23,375 --> 00:19:25,290 What? No. We're just here for a company retreat. 375 00:19:25,375 --> 00:19:26,750 - We have a Groupon. - Okay. 376 00:19:26,833 --> 00:19:30,625 Uh, wait. Did you say "magical kid"? 377 00:19:30,708 --> 00:19:33,000 - Howard! - Sorry! 378 00:19:33,083 --> 00:19:35,333 We might want to call this one in. 379 00:19:35,415 --> 00:19:36,875 Thunderbolt for you! 380 00:19:41,500 --> 00:19:42,750 Get up, no, no... 381 00:19:48,290 --> 00:19:50,165 Mama's got you, Junior! 382 00:19:51,000 --> 00:19:52,290 My fabulous Egg. 383 00:19:52,375 --> 00:19:54,290 - DJ Foam? - The omelet man! 384 00:19:54,375 --> 00:19:56,290 We meet again. What're the odds? 385 00:19:56,833 --> 00:19:59,790 No, seriously, I'm asking you, what are the odds? 386 00:20:00,375 --> 00:20:02,958 - No, no, no. Howard! - Oh, no! 387 00:20:05,040 --> 00:20:06,458 - Oh, no, no, no! - No, no, no! 388 00:20:06,540 --> 00:20:08,458 Oh, come to Papa. 389 00:20:11,540 --> 00:20:14,750 - Sparkles! Huh? - Oh, no, we're going down. Abandon ship. 390 00:20:17,500 --> 00:20:18,708 No, no, no! Howard! 391 00:20:18,790 --> 00:20:21,540 Excuse me. Just makin' my way. Daddy's got you, baby. 392 00:20:22,790 --> 00:20:24,290 Faster, Howard, faster! 393 00:20:24,375 --> 00:20:25,958 I'm running as fast as I can! 394 00:20:29,083 --> 00:20:31,040 The Stones? Is this about the Stones? 395 00:20:31,125 --> 00:20:32,790 Have you found them? Where are they? 396 00:20:34,375 --> 00:20:37,875 An egg? You called me for an egg? 397 00:20:37,958 --> 00:20:39,665 It's magical? 398 00:20:44,875 --> 00:20:46,040 Yello. 399 00:20:46,125 --> 00:20:48,040 Oh. Whoa, whoa, whoa! 400 00:20:50,665 --> 00:20:52,415 - Oh. Whoa. - Come on, Duck! 401 00:20:54,665 --> 00:20:55,750 No! 402 00:20:56,333 --> 00:20:59,290 Yeah! Yodelheim rules! 403 00:20:59,375 --> 00:21:02,583 Yeah! The The Ducks can't be stopped! 404 00:21:05,290 --> 00:21:06,790 - No! - Hold up. 405 00:21:12,625 --> 00:21:14,958 And there goes your trust fund. 406 00:21:16,040 --> 00:21:17,040 All of it? 407 00:21:39,375 --> 00:21:42,790 This can't be it, Howard. Can it? 408 00:21:46,958 --> 00:21:48,165 Who can say? 409 00:21:49,415 --> 00:21:52,915 I never would've thunk a life like this could've been written in the stars. 410 00:21:53,915 --> 00:21:55,500 A girl like you... 411 00:21:57,208 --> 00:21:58,665 I mean, a duck like me. 412 00:21:59,333 --> 00:22:02,458 Thank God that bar was offering half-price nachos. 413 00:22:02,540 --> 00:22:05,250 Well, the nachos might've sealed the deal, but... 414 00:22:06,040 --> 00:22:07,040 I always knew. 415 00:22:08,625 --> 00:22:10,540 We were brought together for something more. 416 00:22:13,290 --> 00:22:14,750 I always knew it, too. 417 00:22:48,958 --> 00:22:49,958 Never. 418 00:23:01,250 --> 00:23:02,250 Uh... 419 00:23:02,875 --> 00:23:03,958 Darce... 420 00:23:13,208 --> 00:23:16,625 - Ah, that power. - So pure. 421 00:23:16,708 --> 00:23:19,625 - It's divine. - So beautiful. 422 00:23:19,708 --> 00:23:22,958 Just as it was written in the stars. 423 00:23:23,040 --> 00:23:24,040 Seize it! 424 00:23:35,083 --> 00:23:36,915 Wow! Darce, look at this. 425 00:23:37,000 --> 00:23:38,875 This kid might have some magic of its own! 426 00:23:38,958 --> 00:23:40,500 Maybe we should keep singing? 427 00:23:57,708 --> 00:23:59,750 - You all right, Coulson? - I'm good, boss. 428 00:23:59,833 --> 00:24:02,333 So, you know, what do you think of the resort? 429 00:24:15,000 --> 00:24:17,833 There's... There's too many of them. 430 00:24:18,333 --> 00:24:21,250 No! There's gotta be somethin' else we can do. 431 00:24:33,165 --> 00:24:34,290 Howard, the baby! 432 00:24:59,208 --> 00:25:02,790 Okay, okay, this was fun, but I have an orgy to get to. 433 00:25:46,375 --> 00:25:48,250 Um, Howard? 434 00:25:48,790 --> 00:25:53,583 And to think I was worried you wouldn't be able to protect her. 435 00:25:53,665 --> 00:25:57,375 Yeah, yeah. She's a natural-born slugger, just like her old man. 436 00:25:57,458 --> 00:25:59,915 Oh, no need for that. I was wrong. 437 00:26:02,958 --> 00:26:06,165 Power that great is safest with its family. 438 00:26:14,625 --> 00:26:15,875 You guys got this. 439 00:26:16,415 --> 00:26:17,415 Fury out! 440 00:26:21,790 --> 00:26:23,833 Hi, guys. Hi, hi. 441 00:26:24,708 --> 00:26:28,750 Listen, I've talked it over with my father and to make amends... 442 00:26:28,833 --> 00:26:32,958 We'd like to comp you a room at the lodge. And... 443 00:26:33,040 --> 00:26:36,583 Honestly, it's the least we could do. Really, my friends. We insist. 444 00:26:37,540 --> 00:26:38,833 Full minibar. 445 00:26:39,458 --> 00:26:40,458 Mm. 446 00:26:41,333 --> 00:26:42,540 What do you think, babe? 447 00:26:43,708 --> 00:26:45,790 Never been one to turn down a free trip, 448 00:26:46,375 --> 00:26:48,915 but there's only one place in the world I wanna be. 449 00:26:52,458 --> 00:26:57,125 Even in an endless universe, there's no place like home. 450 00:26:58,290 --> 00:27:03,125 And parents are the greatest heroes of all. 451 00:27:10,165 --> 00:27:14,415 Aw. Our little Byrdie. She's perfect. 452 00:27:15,000 --> 00:27:16,625 Yeah. She is, isn't she? 453 00:27:18,040 --> 00:27:19,665 All right, like we rehearsed. 454 00:27:20,500 --> 00:27:21,583 Step... 455 00:27:21,665 --> 00:27:25,583 - Step. And step. And step. - Step. And step. And step. 456 00:27:25,665 --> 00:27:26,875 - You get the door. - Fine. 457 00:27:33,208 --> 00:27:34,750 - No! - Oh, God. Did you do the bottle? 458 00:27:34,833 --> 00:27:37,040 - You're supposed to do the bottle. - No, the bottle's fine, Howard. 459 00:27:37,125 --> 00:27:39,250 No, it's way too hot. You can't give a bottle that hot. 460 00:27:39,333 --> 00:27:40,875 It's the blanket. She hates the color! 461 00:27:40,958 --> 00:27:42,250 Why'd we get her this color? 35016

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