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1
00:00:09,750 --> 00:00:11,416
Congratulations.
2
00:00:11,500 --> 00:00:13,333
[Howard the Duck] Oh, my God!
Darce, I'm kvelling.
3
00:00:13,416 --> 00:00:15,125
I am positively kvelling right now.
4
00:00:15,208 --> 00:00:17,333
-It looks just like me.
-[Howard the Duck] Hey! Look over here.
5
00:00:17,416 --> 00:00:18,625
-Let me just get your eyes.
-No.
6
00:00:18,708 --> 00:00:20,916
-I wanna get the light on your eyes.
-Nine hours of labor.
7
00:00:21,000 --> 00:00:22,791
-It's so cinematic.
-I'm covered in sweat.
8
00:00:22,875 --> 00:00:24,208
-This is not a good look.
-[nurse] Oh.
9
00:00:24,291 --> 00:00:26,500
-Would you like me to hold the camera?
-Oh, that's perfect.
10
00:00:26,583 --> 00:00:28,333
Make sure you frame
all three of us, please?
11
00:00:28,416 --> 00:00:31,041
-Howard, it's our baby.
-[laughs]
12
00:00:31,125 --> 00:00:32,541
Or it will be, right?
13
00:00:32,625 --> 00:00:34,416
When do you think
this thing is gonna hatch?
14
00:00:34,500 --> 00:00:37,541
I don't know.
It's gonna hatch in... you know, uh...
15
00:00:38,291 --> 00:00:39,625
whatever the normal...
16
00:00:40,750 --> 00:00:45,083
[The Watcher] In an instant, Howard
and Darcy The Duck's whole world changed.
17
00:00:45,166 --> 00:00:46,166
Little did they know
18
00:00:46,250 --> 00:00:49,291
their child was destined
to change everyone else's too.
19
00:00:52,583 --> 00:00:53,625
[The Watcher] Time.
20
00:00:56,875 --> 00:00:57,958
Space.
21
00:00:59,666 --> 00:01:00,708
Reality.
22
00:01:03,583 --> 00:01:05,250
It's more than a linear path.
23
00:01:10,125 --> 00:01:14,625
It's a prism of endless possibility,
24
00:01:17,166 --> 00:01:20,583
where a single choice
can branch out into infinite realities,
25
00:01:23,375 --> 00:01:26,125
creating alternate worlds
from the ones you know.
26
00:01:30,250 --> 00:01:31,583
I am the Watcher.
27
00:01:33,833 --> 00:01:37,000
I am your guide
through these vast new realities.
28
00:01:38,416 --> 00:01:41,916
Follow me and ponder the question...
29
00:01:45,583 --> 00:01:47,208
"What if?"
30
00:01:47,291 --> 00:01:49,416
[KISS "I Was Made for Lovin' You" playing]
31
00:01:52,333 --> 00:01:54,750
[The Watcher] And to think a romance
that could change the world,
32
00:01:54,833 --> 00:01:57,000
all began at a party.
33
00:01:57,541 --> 00:02:01,791
An intergalactic blowout thrown
by the party prince of Asgard himself...
34
00:02:01,875 --> 00:02:03,083
Huzzah!
35
00:02:03,166 --> 00:02:05,500
-...that introduced Earth to the stars...
-[people cheering]
36
00:02:05,583 --> 00:02:08,666
-...and Howard The Duck to Darcy Lewis.
-[camera shutter clicking]
37
00:02:08,750 --> 00:02:11,583
Well, it's happy hour.
Want some half-priced nachos?
38
00:02:11,666 --> 00:02:14,625
Okay, fine, Duck. But this is not a date.
39
00:02:16,416 --> 00:02:17,708
[The Watcher] She was right.
40
00:02:18,208 --> 00:02:19,416
It was so much more.
41
00:02:21,541 --> 00:02:23,958
I now pronounce you Darcy, and uh, Duck.
42
00:02:24,708 --> 00:02:27,958
[The Watcher] But Howard and Darcy's lives
weren't the only ones changed
43
00:02:28,041 --> 00:02:29,750
by Thor's Midgard rager.
44
00:02:29,833 --> 00:02:32,875
The party may have ended
but the guests never left,
45
00:02:32,958 --> 00:02:37,166
as the worlds of Earth and the Cosmos
became forever intertwined,
46
00:02:37,750 --> 00:02:39,666
just like Howard and Darcy.
47
00:02:39,750 --> 00:02:43,375
[Howard the Duck and Darcy singing]
♪ I was made for lovin' you, baby ♪
48
00:02:43,458 --> 00:02:45,875
♪ You were made for lovin' me ♪
49
00:02:45,958 --> 00:02:46,958
♪ You know that! ♪
50
00:02:47,041 --> 00:02:48,750
♪ I can't get enough of you... ♪
51
00:02:48,833 --> 00:02:50,375
♪ I can't get enough of you, Egg baby... ♪
52
00:02:50,458 --> 00:02:53,916
[Mrs. Switzler] Hey, enough! The '80s
called, they want their song back.
53
00:02:54,000 --> 00:02:56,125
[laughs] That's so funny.
54
00:02:56,208 --> 00:03:00,583
Or it would be, except for the fact
that KISS wrote that song in '79! A-duh!
55
00:03:00,666 --> 00:03:03,958
Sorry, Mrs. Switzler, we're just trying
to put the baby to sleep.
56
00:03:04,041 --> 00:03:05,500
[Mrs. Switzler] With what? Torture?
57
00:03:05,583 --> 00:03:08,000
Hey, we worked really hard
on those two-part harmonies!
58
00:03:08,083 --> 00:03:10,416
Okay. And I'm sure the baby loves them.
59
00:03:10,500 --> 00:03:12,083
[gasps] Look, look, look. See...
60
00:03:13,041 --> 00:03:14,416
fast asleep.
61
00:03:17,875 --> 00:03:19,833
I don't appreciate how dismissive she is.
62
00:03:19,916 --> 00:03:21,625
[Darcy] Okay, it doesn't matter.
63
00:03:23,125 --> 00:03:24,208
[sighs in relief]
64
00:03:24,291 --> 00:03:26,708
Will you look at us... nesting?
65
00:03:26,791 --> 00:03:28,375
Well, we are the The Ducks.
66
00:03:28,458 --> 00:03:30,791
-I guess that tracks.
-[doorbell rings]
67
00:03:30,875 --> 00:03:31,875
-Huh?
-[door opens]
68
00:03:33,708 --> 00:03:34,791
You've been served...
69
00:03:34,875 --> 00:03:35,875
-What?
-What? No.
70
00:03:35,958 --> 00:03:37,250
Those charges were dropped.
71
00:03:37,333 --> 00:03:38,333
With two tickets.
72
00:03:38,416 --> 00:03:42,000
All expenses paid to the Grandmaster's
Grand Cruise Across the Stars.
73
00:03:42,083 --> 00:03:44,083
-Hello.
-Wait! For us?
74
00:03:44,166 --> 00:03:46,000
-Targeted advertising.
-Oh.
75
00:03:46,083 --> 00:03:48,458
It'll be an experience
you'll never forget.
76
00:03:48,958 --> 00:03:51,875
Ahoy there, Sailors of the Stars.
77
00:03:51,958 --> 00:03:56,041
Time to check your worries at the gate,
and toss those inhibitions overboard
78
00:03:56,125 --> 00:03:58,750
because when you're riding
on the SS Grand Master,
79
00:03:58,833 --> 00:04:01,583
adventure has no boundaries.
80
00:04:01,666 --> 00:04:04,416
[gasps] Howard,
have you seen this itinerary?
81
00:04:04,500 --> 00:04:06,958
Couples cliff diving on Vormir...
82
00:04:07,041 --> 00:04:10,458
Oh, yeah, they say you can only
truly appreciate it with someone you love.
83
00:04:10,541 --> 00:04:14,000
[gasps] Oh, a lava boat ride
through the canals of Muspelheim.
84
00:04:14,083 --> 00:04:17,541
Wait, you don't think that could, like,
hard-boil our baby or anything, right?
85
00:04:17,625 --> 00:04:20,625
Darce, you heard the lady.
This is a family cruise line.
86
00:04:20,708 --> 00:04:22,333
-They know what they're doing.
-Of course.
87
00:04:22,416 --> 00:04:25,333
Now come on, I wanna hit that buffet
before everyone breathes on it.
88
00:04:25,416 --> 00:04:28,166
-[Bifrost whirs]
-Howard, oh, my God! Hold on to the baby.
89
00:04:28,250 --> 00:04:30,166
-The baby, get it.
-[Howard the Duck] All right, I got it.
90
00:04:30,250 --> 00:04:31,250
Whoa! Oh-ho!
91
00:04:31,333 --> 00:04:33,958
-We're floating!
-I see we're lightening up already.
92
00:04:34,041 --> 00:04:36,458
[digital whirring, beeping]
93
00:04:36,541 --> 00:04:37,916
I got eyes on the package.
94
00:04:38,000 --> 00:04:40,291
Inform the buyer
we'll intercept it off-world.
95
00:04:43,750 --> 00:04:45,541
-Oh, boy!
-This is very nice.
96
00:04:45,625 --> 00:04:47,708
This is just too much. Look at us.
97
00:04:47,791 --> 00:04:49,916
-I know. Look at us.
-Lei for your neck.
98
00:04:50,000 --> 00:04:52,458
Welcome cocktail to lower inhibitions.
99
00:04:52,541 --> 00:04:55,458
Darcy, check out these leis.
They're not even plastic.
100
00:04:55,541 --> 00:04:56,958
That is a classy touch.
101
00:04:57,041 --> 00:05:00,125
Ooh, and this welcome drink.
It tastes like a warm hug,
102
00:05:00,208 --> 00:05:02,000
and vodka, mostly vodka.
103
00:05:02,083 --> 00:05:03,791
-Here. Have another.
-Have another.
104
00:05:03,875 --> 00:05:06,000
-[laughs]
-Okay. That's not--
105
00:05:06,083 --> 00:05:08,250
[Grandmaster] Please, I insist.
106
00:05:08,333 --> 00:05:10,541
On the SS Grand Master,
it's not a bad decision
107
00:05:10,625 --> 00:05:13,625
-if you don't remember it.
-Oh, my God! Howard! It's the guy.
108
00:05:13,708 --> 00:05:15,250
-I gotta fight this guy?
-No, no, no.
109
00:05:15,333 --> 00:05:16,833
-DJ Foam.
-DJ Foam!
110
00:05:16,916 --> 00:05:18,291
-Yeah.
-The Grandmaster.
111
00:05:18,375 --> 00:05:19,416
[speaking French]
112
00:05:19,500 --> 00:05:21,916
Bowing is optional.
I'm not that big of a deal.
113
00:05:22,000 --> 00:05:24,625
-I take that back. I am a big deal.
-[laughs] Hey!
114
00:05:24,708 --> 00:05:27,583
Really, we cannot thank you enough
for these tickets.
115
00:05:27,666 --> 00:05:31,125
Ah, for you crazy kids?
Nothing I love more than a wholesome--
116
00:05:31,208 --> 00:05:34,000
-Oh! Oh!
-[Darcy] Uh...
117
00:05:34,083 --> 00:05:38,291
This must be the adorable little reason
we're all here today.
118
00:05:39,541 --> 00:05:40,541
Now, look at this.
119
00:05:40,625 --> 00:05:43,416
Now, what you have here
is the Galaxy's finest selection
120
00:05:43,500 --> 00:05:47,916
of sitters, swaddlers, sleep trainers,
nannies, au pairs, governesses, plus...
121
00:05:48,000 --> 00:05:50,250
Topaz here is actually
an excellent wet nurse.
122
00:05:50,333 --> 00:05:51,333
That part's extra.
123
00:05:51,416 --> 00:05:52,625
All at your disposal.
124
00:05:52,708 --> 00:05:56,416
So you two can enjoy
some much-deserved mommy and daddy time.
125
00:05:56,500 --> 00:05:57,500
[both] Uh...
126
00:05:58,583 --> 00:06:00,458
I mean, he doesn't not have a point.
127
00:06:00,625 --> 00:06:01,625
Mmm.
128
00:06:03,458 --> 00:06:05,041
[sighs] Wow!
129
00:06:05,125 --> 00:06:06,208
First-time parents?
130
00:06:06,291 --> 00:06:08,250
Mm-hmm. Yep. Our first one.
131
00:06:09,250 --> 00:06:10,416
Yeah, I can tell.
132
00:06:11,166 --> 00:06:15,166
[Topaz] The Grandmaster's Grand
Welcome Brunch will begin shortly.
133
00:06:15,250 --> 00:06:19,666
The "Grand" part wasn't false advertising,
I'll give him that. This is quite grand.
134
00:06:19,750 --> 00:06:25,416
Now, of course, our guests of honor
have a special seat reserved for them
135
00:06:25,500 --> 00:06:27,291
at the head of the table.
136
00:06:27,375 --> 00:06:28,375
[both] Oh!
137
00:06:28,458 --> 00:06:30,166
-Well, that's nice.
-Very fancy.
138
00:06:30,250 --> 00:06:32,208
-The chair is well-padded.
-Ahem, ahem!
139
00:06:32,291 --> 00:06:36,583
Diners and dinettes,
gather in, settle down.
140
00:06:37,458 --> 00:06:38,458
-Hmm.
-[whirs]
141
00:06:38,541 --> 00:06:42,041
And, uh, most importantly, raise a glass.
142
00:06:42,750 --> 00:06:45,083
Hope you all came hungry,
because once you get a taste...
143
00:06:45,166 --> 00:06:47,625
Quite the hoopla just for breakfast, huh?
144
00:06:48,583 --> 00:06:51,750
Hey! Hey, Howard, Howard,
I can't make heads or tails of this menu.
145
00:06:51,833 --> 00:06:53,666
-You speak, uh, hoity-toity?
-I do not.
146
00:06:53,750 --> 00:06:55,625
But my phone does. [chuckles]
147
00:06:55,708 --> 00:06:57,041
Yeah, let's see what we got.
148
00:06:57,125 --> 00:06:59,625
Here we go. "The Grandmaster invites you
149
00:06:59,708 --> 00:07:02,541
"to feast on Howard and Darcy The Duck."
150
00:07:02,625 --> 00:07:03,625
Wait! What?
151
00:07:04,208 --> 00:07:06,333
Wait, wait, wait. It's "feast your eyes."
152
00:07:06,416 --> 00:07:08,500
"Feast your eyes."
Okay, I guess that's nice.
153
00:07:08,583 --> 00:07:10,875
-[♪ upbeat disco music playing]
-[Grandmaster] Ah...
154
00:07:10,958 --> 00:07:13,583
Uh, today's special
155
00:07:13,666 --> 00:07:18,375
is an entrée, uh-huh, like no other.
156
00:07:18,458 --> 00:07:21,000
Born of two worlds...
157
00:07:21,083 --> 00:07:22,291
Born of two worlds?
158
00:07:22,375 --> 00:07:25,416
...a true cosmic wonder.
159
00:07:25,500 --> 00:07:27,708
[explosion]
160
00:07:27,791 --> 00:07:29,458
-[Darcy] Uh, Howard...
-Wait, it says,
161
00:07:29,541 --> 00:07:32,250
"To feast your eyes on Howard
and Darcy The Duck's
162
00:07:32,333 --> 00:07:33,500
-"homemade..."
-Howard!
163
00:07:33,583 --> 00:07:35,875
Oh, no, is this supposed to be a potluck?
164
00:07:35,958 --> 00:07:37,333
[flames crackling]
165
00:07:37,458 --> 00:07:38,500
[Darcy] Howard!
166
00:07:38,583 --> 00:07:40,541
-Look at the baby!
-Yep. Hold on.
167
00:07:40,625 --> 00:07:41,625
[digital beeps]
168
00:07:41,708 --> 00:07:43,583
[gasps] Darce, they wanna eat the baby!
169
00:07:43,666 --> 00:07:46,500
No, duh, Howard,
we've got a Hannibal Lecter situation!
170
00:07:47,875 --> 00:07:52,291
Oh, let the brunch begi-- [groans]
171
00:07:52,375 --> 00:07:54,875
-[laughs]
-[thuds]
172
00:07:54,958 --> 00:07:58,791
What? Oh, my gosh!
Captain Mohawk saved our baby!
173
00:07:58,875 --> 00:08:01,791
Sorry to spoil y'all's breakfast, folks.
[whistles]
174
00:08:01,875 --> 00:08:05,208
But I was hopin' to grab
a little somethin' to go. Ta-ta!
175
00:08:05,708 --> 00:08:08,333
Oh, my gosh!
Captain Mohawk stole our baby!
176
00:08:08,416 --> 00:08:11,083
No, no, no! Hey, Space Pirates!
177
00:08:11,166 --> 00:08:13,000
[Darcy] What're you waiting for?
Come on, Duck!
178
00:08:15,291 --> 00:08:17,125
Coast clear, let's get to the life rafts!
179
00:08:18,083 --> 00:08:19,458
All right, here we go!
180
00:08:19,541 --> 00:08:21,083
Howard, are you sure you can fly this?
181
00:08:21,166 --> 00:08:23,833
Are you kidding? I'm a duck.
I was born to fly. Strap in.
182
00:08:23,916 --> 00:08:26,791
-[Darcy grunts]
-[metal clanging]
183
00:08:26,875 --> 00:08:28,166
[Darcy] Oh, move over!
184
00:08:31,500 --> 00:08:33,791
[Howard the Duck] Faster, baby! Faster!
We almost got him!
185
00:08:33,875 --> 00:08:36,041
Aah, come on, get it together, Darcy.
186
00:08:36,125 --> 00:08:37,791
This is just like Galaga.
187
00:08:37,875 --> 00:08:39,500
[both screaming]
188
00:08:41,666 --> 00:08:43,541
[Darcy] Whoa! Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
189
00:08:46,541 --> 00:08:48,041
-What?
-Aah!
190
00:08:48,125 --> 00:08:50,375
-It just-- It just disappear--
-But they were right...
191
00:08:50,458 --> 00:08:54,625
I don't know what we were thinking.
Nothing good ever happens on a cruise!
192
00:08:55,291 --> 00:08:57,083
-[sighs]
-I'm sorry.
193
00:08:58,291 --> 00:08:59,291
This was a mistake.
194
00:08:59,791 --> 00:09:02,208
Our baby is... gone.
195
00:09:02,791 --> 00:09:04,083
[sighs wearily]
196
00:09:04,166 --> 00:09:05,541
We had one job.
197
00:09:06,500 --> 00:09:07,583
And we failed.
198
00:09:09,083 --> 00:09:10,791
What? What are you doing?
199
00:09:10,875 --> 00:09:13,541
Calling the fuzz!
Clearly, we can't do this on our own!
200
00:09:16,583 --> 00:09:18,583
Um, it's about the Convergence case, sir.
201
00:09:18,666 --> 00:09:20,666
This couple could be the lead
we've been waiting for.
202
00:09:20,750 --> 00:09:22,041
And what did you say their name was?
203
00:09:22,125 --> 00:09:24,625
-That would be the The Ducks, sir.
-Huh?
204
00:09:24,708 --> 00:09:26,791
[Darcy] What the hell
is going on, Director?
205
00:09:26,875 --> 00:09:28,875
First the Grandmaster, now the Ravagers?
206
00:09:28,958 --> 00:09:31,166
Why are all these people after our baby?
207
00:09:31,250 --> 00:09:33,916
I assure you, Mr. and Mrs... The Duck,
208
00:09:34,000 --> 00:09:37,791
recovering your egg has become
S.H.I.E.L.D.'s priority number one.
209
00:09:37,875 --> 00:09:40,916
Oh, yeah? You and everyone else
in the galaxy, apparently.
210
00:09:41,000 --> 00:09:43,291
What the hell is so special
about our kid, anyway?
211
00:09:43,375 --> 00:09:44,375
-[gasps] Howard!
-Ow!
212
00:09:44,458 --> 00:09:46,666
I mean, besides the fact
that they're our kid.
213
00:09:46,750 --> 00:09:49,708
What do you know
about the Cosmic Convergence?
214
00:09:49,791 --> 00:09:51,625
Wait. The Convergence?
215
00:09:51,708 --> 00:09:54,000
-Wasn't that on my due date?
-Exactly.
216
00:09:54,083 --> 00:09:58,000
And many believe
the planetary alignment was a sign.
217
00:09:58,083 --> 00:10:00,041
The birth of a great new power.
218
00:10:00,125 --> 00:10:02,541
You think it's our child?
219
00:10:02,625 --> 00:10:04,083
I guess, deep down, I always knew
220
00:10:04,166 --> 00:10:06,416
our little champ
was destined for big things.
221
00:10:06,500 --> 00:10:08,333
[Coulson] Uh, a word, sir.
222
00:10:08,958 --> 00:10:10,958
[murmuring]
223
00:10:14,541 --> 00:10:16,833
...our satellites picked up
a Ravager ship making the jump
224
00:10:16,916 --> 00:10:18,208
out of the Cat's Eye Nebula.
225
00:10:18,291 --> 00:10:20,541
It could indicate
they're meeting with The Collector.
226
00:10:20,625 --> 00:10:21,625
Hm.
227
00:10:22,583 --> 00:10:25,958
Best you leave this with the experts,
Mr. and Mrs... The Duck.
228
00:10:26,458 --> 00:10:31,500
We'll see to it your Egg stays
out of the wrong hands.
229
00:10:32,000 --> 00:10:33,125
Fury out!
230
00:10:33,625 --> 00:10:35,541
Screw this!
Well, I'm not waiting for the five-oh.
231
00:10:35,625 --> 00:10:37,541
If the Ravagers are workin'
for The Collector,
232
00:10:37,625 --> 00:10:38,958
then we know where they're headed.
233
00:10:39,041 --> 00:10:40,250
-Where?
-Knowhere.
234
00:10:40,333 --> 00:10:41,541
-What?
-Knowhere.
235
00:10:41,625 --> 00:10:43,583
Well, they've gotta be going somewhere.
236
00:10:43,666 --> 00:10:44,791
Knowhere.
237
00:10:44,875 --> 00:10:46,125
-Howard?
-Knowhere.
238
00:10:46,208 --> 00:10:48,416
Where are they going?
239
00:10:57,833 --> 00:10:59,583
Milord Yondu Udonta,
240
00:10:59,666 --> 00:11:05,500
I present to you, Kaecilius,
Master of the Dark Arts.
241
00:11:05,583 --> 00:11:09,500
Only in silence
can you hear the whispers from the Dark.
242
00:11:09,583 --> 00:11:10,875
[Yondu] Oh-ho! Whoa!
243
00:11:10,958 --> 00:11:12,666
What happened to The Collector?
244
00:11:12,750 --> 00:11:15,166
He's been... collected.
245
00:11:15,250 --> 00:11:17,375
Trapped inside the Mirror Dimension.
246
00:11:17,458 --> 00:11:19,958
But we knew the most powerful relics
in the Cosmos
247
00:11:20,041 --> 00:11:23,750
always seem
to find their way here... eventually.
248
00:11:23,833 --> 00:11:26,375
Listen, man. Word on the street here
249
00:11:26,458 --> 00:11:29,416
is that this egg
is a pretty hot damn commodity.
250
00:11:29,500 --> 00:11:34,208
I got offers comin' in from Dark Elves
and an Olympic God.
251
00:11:34,291 --> 00:11:37,750
You get what I'm sayin'?
So, our price just went up.
252
00:11:38,375 --> 00:11:39,541
I'm sorry, Captain,
253
00:11:39,625 --> 00:11:41,791
but Dormammu does not come to bargain.
254
00:11:42,291 --> 00:11:44,500
[Carina chanting magic incantation]
255
00:11:45,291 --> 00:11:47,916
[chanting magic incantation]
256
00:11:48,000 --> 00:11:49,250
[Yondu screams]
257
00:11:49,333 --> 00:11:51,583
[people continue chanting]
258
00:11:52,916 --> 00:11:54,916
[Howard the Duck] Jeez, easy, Darce.
The wall, the wall.
259
00:11:55,000 --> 00:11:56,375
-[Darcy] It's fine!
-Oh, oh!
260
00:11:56,458 --> 00:11:57,458
[Darcy] Quiet, Howard!
261
00:11:57,541 --> 00:11:59,166
You know I can't park
when someone is watching!
262
00:11:59,250 --> 00:12:00,291
I'm lookin' away.
263
00:12:03,541 --> 00:12:04,666
That was great, babe. Wow.
264
00:12:05,375 --> 00:12:06,375
[Darcy groans]
265
00:12:06,458 --> 00:12:10,625
Whoa, can't believe you escaped
through the sewage tunnels.
266
00:12:10,708 --> 00:12:11,708
[groans]
267
00:12:11,791 --> 00:12:14,125
You won't even use a public restroom.
268
00:12:14,208 --> 00:12:16,291
I'm not proud of it.
I did what I had to do.
269
00:12:16,375 --> 00:12:19,000
-Shh! Howard, I hear something creepy.
-[indistinct chanting]
270
00:12:19,750 --> 00:12:20,750
Do you hear that?
271
00:12:31,875 --> 00:12:33,666
-Yeah, it's very creepy.
-It's very creepy!
272
00:12:34,166 --> 00:12:36,166
[all chanting]
273
00:12:43,250 --> 00:12:44,666
-[Darcy] Howard!
-[quacks]
274
00:12:46,833 --> 00:12:48,916
[chanting in unison]
275
00:12:49,500 --> 00:12:51,458
What in the name of Eyes Wide Shut!
276
00:12:53,208 --> 00:12:55,208
[both mumbling]
277
00:12:55,500 --> 00:12:56,875
-...Dormammu.
-...Dormammu.
278
00:12:56,958 --> 00:12:58,666
-Yeah, that is right.
-Crushin' it.
279
00:13:03,166 --> 00:13:05,041
[gasps] That's our baby!
280
00:13:05,125 --> 00:13:07,333
Oh, no! There's gotta be
something we can do!
281
00:13:15,000 --> 00:13:17,833
So, uh, excuse me.
What's the deal with the magic act?
282
00:13:17,916 --> 00:13:20,958
We know. Obviously.
We just wanna hear it in your words.
283
00:13:21,041 --> 00:13:24,791
Quiet! The "ensoulment" is about to begin.
284
00:13:24,875 --> 00:13:26,583
-Ensoulment?
-Ensoulment?
285
00:13:28,583 --> 00:13:34,458
Behold, our Dark Master, Dormammu!
286
00:13:38,291 --> 00:13:41,125
[chanting]
287
00:13:41,208 --> 00:13:44,083
Dormammu, we present to you an offering.
288
00:13:44,625 --> 00:13:47,541
A powerful vessel to serve
as your host body,
289
00:13:47,625 --> 00:13:50,125
from which you will be born anew.
290
00:13:50,208 --> 00:13:51,208
Howard! I think
291
00:13:51,291 --> 00:13:54,500
they're tryna Rosemary's Baby
this Dormammu guy into our baby!
292
00:13:54,583 --> 00:13:55,916
No. No. No.
293
00:13:56,000 --> 00:13:57,083
[hissing]
294
00:13:58,083 --> 00:13:59,333
Did I get it?
295
00:13:59,416 --> 00:14:01,250
-What the...
-What? No!
296
00:14:01,333 --> 00:14:04,083
[all clamoring]
297
00:14:06,208 --> 00:14:07,916
S.H.I.E.L.D.! Nobody move!
298
00:14:08,000 --> 00:14:10,083
I didn't do it! I'm innocent, I tell you!
299
00:14:10,166 --> 00:14:12,333
Relax, Howard.
He's not here for us, remember?
300
00:14:12,416 --> 00:14:14,750
Right. Right. It's just a force of habit.
301
00:14:15,833 --> 00:14:17,250
[officer] Hands out of your robes, now!
302
00:14:17,333 --> 00:14:21,875
You are in possession of
unauthorized level 11 cosmic contraband.
303
00:14:22,458 --> 00:14:25,500
I would suggest you stand down, Director.
304
00:14:25,583 --> 00:14:28,666
You've no idea what you've found yourself
in the middle of.
305
00:14:28,750 --> 00:14:32,583
I understand enough to know
that the galaxy will be safest
306
00:14:32,666 --> 00:14:34,375
with that Egg in S.H.I.E.L.D.'s hands.
307
00:14:34,458 --> 00:14:36,500
[Howard the Duck]
Uh, S.H.I.E.L.D.'s hands?
308
00:14:36,583 --> 00:14:39,083
[Darcy] [laughs] Thanks,
but no thanks, my dude.
309
00:14:39,166 --> 00:14:42,375
Yeah. Look, Your Honor,
I appreciate the search and rescue,
310
00:14:42,458 --> 00:14:45,041
but I don't think
we're in the market for childcare.
311
00:14:45,125 --> 00:14:46,416
Who the hell are these two?
312
00:14:46,500 --> 00:14:47,916
[quacks] We're the parents.
313
00:14:48,000 --> 00:14:50,083
I'm sorry, Mr. and Mrs. The Duck,
314
00:14:50,166 --> 00:14:53,125
but S.H.I.E.L.D. can't entrust
a being this powerful
315
00:14:53,208 --> 00:14:55,583
to a first-time mom and a gambling addict.
316
00:14:55,666 --> 00:14:58,208
-Hey!
-Recovering gambling addict, thank you!
317
00:14:58,291 --> 00:15:00,250
I got the chip. That's the wrong chip.
318
00:15:00,333 --> 00:15:02,000
Coulson, carton it.
319
00:15:07,666 --> 00:15:12,416
It appears you need some help
reorienting your perspective.
320
00:15:17,083 --> 00:15:18,583
-I don't like it!
-[indistinct shouting]
321
00:15:21,583 --> 00:15:23,125
If that's how it's gonna be...
322
00:15:24,458 --> 00:15:25,791
-[screams]
-[all clamoring]
323
00:15:28,291 --> 00:15:30,750
For Dormam-- [grunts]
324
00:15:30,833 --> 00:15:31,833
Get it, get it!
325
00:15:33,416 --> 00:15:35,625
-Get it! [screams]
-Get it! I got my--
326
00:15:38,083 --> 00:15:39,083
Huh?
327
00:15:39,166 --> 00:15:40,791
-[both sigh]
-All right.
328
00:15:42,083 --> 00:15:43,416
[panting]
329
00:15:43,500 --> 00:15:45,208
Let's go. [pants]
330
00:15:46,666 --> 00:15:47,666
Do you hear that?
331
00:15:47,750 --> 00:15:49,625
-Oh?
-Oh-ho-ho!
332
00:15:49,708 --> 00:15:51,333
Ask and you shall receive.
333
00:15:51,416 --> 00:15:52,541
I didn't hear you ask anyone.
334
00:15:52,625 --> 00:15:55,416
Well, I was askin', babe.
You know, in my head.
335
00:15:58,500 --> 00:16:01,416
Breaking Space News,
Terran defense force, S.H.I.E.L.D.,
336
00:16:01,500 --> 00:16:04,458
has issued an Ivory Alert
for a missing cosmic relic,
337
00:16:04,541 --> 00:16:07,208
last seen leaving Knowhere
in a Sakaaran vessel.
338
00:16:07,291 --> 00:16:11,375
[laughs] Well, look at us,
like an intergalactic Bonnie and Clyde.
339
00:16:11,458 --> 00:16:14,250
Have you seen that movie, Howard?
It does not end great for them.
340
00:16:14,916 --> 00:16:17,166
Look, we need to find someplace
where we can lay low.
341
00:16:17,791 --> 00:16:21,791
Not to worry. I know just the place
where we can chill.
342
00:16:23,083 --> 00:16:26,875
For too long, Jotunheim has been
relegated to the shadows.
343
00:16:26,958 --> 00:16:31,125
But with this,
the Nine Realms will have no choice
344
00:16:31,208 --> 00:16:34,583
but to bear witness
to our glorious purpose.
345
00:16:35,125 --> 00:16:39,958
Right here at the Jotun Slopes
luxury hotel, resort, and casino.
346
00:16:40,041 --> 00:16:42,750
The future of intergalactic winter sports.
347
00:16:43,458 --> 00:16:44,625
That's pretty cool, right?
348
00:16:44,708 --> 00:16:47,750
I mean, my father's not
100% on board just yet,
349
00:16:47,833 --> 00:16:49,958
but, you know, I'm gonna get him there.
350
00:16:50,041 --> 00:16:53,333
Dude, we didn't come here
for a sales pitch. We came for your help.
351
00:16:53,416 --> 00:16:55,708
You know, I thought so,
and let me just cut to the chase.
352
00:16:55,791 --> 00:16:58,458
I can't wait to be your baby's godfather.
353
00:16:58,541 --> 00:17:00,791
I'm so honored. Thank you.
This means the world.
354
00:17:00,875 --> 00:17:02,541
-Is this guy serious right now?
-Uh.
355
00:17:02,625 --> 00:17:05,333
[laughs] Listen,
as swell as that offer is...
356
00:17:05,416 --> 00:17:07,291
-Yeah.
-Really, we're very touched.
357
00:17:07,375 --> 00:17:09,416
What we need right now is shelter.
358
00:17:09,500 --> 00:17:12,041
We're kinda on the lam
from a couple of cops.
359
00:17:12,125 --> 00:17:13,916
-And sorcerers.
-Pirates, too.
360
00:17:14,000 --> 00:17:15,458
So, what do you say? Can you help us out?
361
00:17:15,541 --> 00:17:16,541
What're you talking about?
362
00:17:16,625 --> 00:17:19,916
You're my brother from another mother's
old lady's sister from another mister.
363
00:17:20,625 --> 00:17:21,750
Uh...
364
00:17:21,833 --> 00:17:23,416
You're practically family.
365
00:17:23,500 --> 00:17:26,250
[chuckles nervously] Thanks, man.
I mean, it has been a long trip,
366
00:17:26,333 --> 00:17:28,791
and we have not been able
to catch a break.
367
00:17:31,333 --> 00:17:35,125
Oh! Is that guests already? Hang on, wait,
our soft opening isn't for a few days.
368
00:17:35,208 --> 00:17:38,083
I don't think they're here for you.
369
00:17:43,208 --> 00:17:48,541
Mr. and Mrs. The Duck,
I told you to leave this to us!
370
00:17:48,625 --> 00:17:50,500
Ah, Sir Nicholas Fury!
371
00:17:50,583 --> 00:17:52,041
[chuckles softly] Let's go!
372
00:17:55,291 --> 00:17:56,458
Quickly. Quickly.
373
00:17:56,541 --> 00:17:57,541
Oh, Father!
374
00:17:57,625 --> 00:18:02,791
So much for this grand opening
of yours, my son.
375
00:18:02,875 --> 00:18:05,708
[chuckles] These are my friends.
See them to safety, yes?
376
00:18:05,791 --> 00:18:07,958
Or we can take this...
377
00:18:08,041 --> 00:18:09,583
-Dad! What are you doing?
-No, no, no!
378
00:18:09,666 --> 00:18:13,083
-Give it back.
-And return Jotunheim to its former glory.
379
00:18:13,166 --> 00:18:14,708
No! No return to former glory!
380
00:18:14,791 --> 00:18:16,208
-This is embarrassing!
-S.H.I.E.L.D.!
381
00:18:16,291 --> 00:18:17,291
-Nobody move!
-Dad!
382
00:18:17,375 --> 00:18:18,666
Surrender the artifact!
383
00:18:18,750 --> 00:18:21,166
My brother from another mother
will not look kindly on this.
384
00:18:21,250 --> 00:18:23,083
[thunder rumbling]
385
00:18:23,166 --> 00:18:24,500
See? I told you.
386
00:18:24,583 --> 00:18:26,333
[explosion]
387
00:18:30,541 --> 00:18:34,000
I don't think it's who you think it is.
388
00:18:34,875 --> 00:18:37,958
Kneel before Zeus!
389
00:18:38,041 --> 00:18:40,458
Oh, good, you're already kneeling.
390
00:18:40,541 --> 00:18:43,208
Now, where is this Egg
I saw written in the stars?
391
00:18:43,291 --> 00:18:45,708
Okay, cool.
Well, we're heading south for the winter.
392
00:18:45,791 --> 00:18:47,333
Never been much of a snowbird anyway.
393
00:18:47,416 --> 00:18:48,958
-Darce, let's get outta here.
-Come on!
394
00:18:50,333 --> 00:18:51,500
Hey, what do I got?
395
00:18:51,583 --> 00:18:54,916
Thunderbolt! Thunderbolt!
Thunderbolt, thunderbolt!
396
00:18:55,000 --> 00:18:56,208
That guy shocked me!
397
00:18:56,291 --> 00:18:57,708
I'm comin' back for you, buddy!
398
00:18:58,250 --> 00:18:59,250
Darce!
399
00:18:59,333 --> 00:19:03,750
Hark, the child born under the stars
of the Convergence is ours to take.
400
00:19:03,833 --> 00:19:09,791
And with it, we shall finally plunge
the Nine Realms into eternal darkness.
401
00:19:09,875 --> 00:19:12,291
Get out of my way!
I am a Master of the Dark Arts!
402
00:19:12,375 --> 00:19:14,791
I'm a Dark Elf.
It's in the name, you dimwit!
403
00:19:14,875 --> 00:19:16,291
-Heretic!
-Thunderbolt!
404
00:19:16,875 --> 00:19:17,958
Hey!
405
00:19:18,041 --> 00:19:20,083
Hear me and rejoice.
406
00:19:20,166 --> 00:19:23,291
Oh, no! You're not getting your mitts
on our magical kid!
407
00:19:23,375 --> 00:19:25,291
What? No.
We're just here for a company retreat.
408
00:19:25,375 --> 00:19:26,750
-We have a Groupon.
-Okay.
409
00:19:26,833 --> 00:19:30,625
Uh, wait. Did you say "magical kid"?
410
00:19:30,708 --> 00:19:33,000
-[scoffs] Howard!
-Sorry!
411
00:19:33,083 --> 00:19:35,333
We might want to call this one in.
412
00:19:35,416 --> 00:19:36,875
Thunderbolt for you!
413
00:19:36,958 --> 00:19:38,583
[all grunt]
414
00:19:41,500 --> 00:19:42,750
Get up, no, no...
415
00:19:48,291 --> 00:19:50,166
Mama's got you, Junior!
416
00:19:51,000 --> 00:19:52,291
[Grandmaster] My fabulous Egg.
417
00:19:52,375 --> 00:19:54,291
-DJ Foam?
-The omelet man!
418
00:19:54,375 --> 00:19:56,291
We meet again. What're the odds?
419
00:19:56,833 --> 00:19:59,791
No, seriously, I'm asking you,
what are the odds?
420
00:20:00,375 --> 00:20:02,958
-No, no, no. Howard!
-Oh, no!
421
00:20:05,041 --> 00:20:06,458
-Oh, no, no, no!
-No, no, no!
422
00:20:06,541 --> 00:20:08,458
Oh, come to Papa.
423
00:20:11,541 --> 00:20:14,750
-Sparkles! Huh?
-Oh, no, we're going down. Abandon ship.
424
00:20:14,833 --> 00:20:16,750
-[explosion]
-[Grandmaster laughs]
425
00:20:17,500 --> 00:20:18,708
No, no, no! Howard!
426
00:20:18,791 --> 00:20:21,541
Excuse me. Just makin' my way.
Daddy's got you, baby.
427
00:20:21,625 --> 00:20:22,708
[all clamoring]
428
00:20:22,791 --> 00:20:24,291
Faster, Howard, faster!
429
00:20:24,375 --> 00:20:25,958
I'm running as fast as I can!
430
00:20:29,083 --> 00:20:31,041
The Stones? Is this about the Stones?
431
00:20:31,125 --> 00:20:32,791
Have you found them? Where are they?
432
00:20:34,375 --> 00:20:37,875
An egg? You called me for an egg?
433
00:20:37,958 --> 00:20:39,666
It's magical?
434
00:20:42,541 --> 00:20:44,791
[all screaming]
435
00:20:44,875 --> 00:20:46,041
Yello.
436
00:20:46,125 --> 00:20:48,041
Oh. Whoa, whoa, whoa!
437
00:20:49,583 --> 00:20:50,583
[groans]
438
00:20:50,666 --> 00:20:52,416
-Oh. Whoa.
-Come on, Duck!
439
00:20:52,500 --> 00:20:53,583
[Howard the Duck screams]
440
00:20:54,666 --> 00:20:55,750
No!
441
00:20:56,333 --> 00:20:59,291
Yeah! Yodelheim rules!
442
00:20:59,375 --> 00:21:02,583
Yeah! The The Ducks can't be stopped!
443
00:21:05,291 --> 00:21:06,791
-No!
-Hold up.
444
00:21:08,375 --> 00:21:09,583
[Howard the Duck, Darcy scream]
445
00:21:12,625 --> 00:21:14,958
And there goes your trust fund.
446
00:21:16,041 --> 00:21:17,041
All of it?
447
00:21:17,125 --> 00:21:19,125
[Howard the Duck, Darcy scream]
448
00:21:26,583 --> 00:21:27,875
[both grunting]
449
00:21:27,958 --> 00:21:29,500
-[pants]
-[groaning]
450
00:21:32,083 --> 00:21:34,083
[screaming, rumbling in distance]
451
00:21:39,375 --> 00:21:42,791
This can't be it, Howard. Can it?
452
00:21:45,291 --> 00:21:46,291
[sighs]
453
00:21:46,958 --> 00:21:48,166
Who can say?
454
00:21:49,416 --> 00:21:52,916
I never would've thunk a life like this
could've been written in the stars.
455
00:21:53,916 --> 00:21:55,500
A girl like you...
456
00:21:57,208 --> 00:21:58,666
I mean, a duck like me.
457
00:21:59,333 --> 00:22:02,458
Thank God that bar was offering
half-price nachos.
458
00:22:02,541 --> 00:22:05,250
Well, the nachos
might've sealed the deal, but...
459
00:22:06,041 --> 00:22:07,041
I always knew.
460
00:22:08,625 --> 00:22:10,541
We were brought together
for something more.
461
00:22:13,291 --> 00:22:14,750
I always knew it, too.
462
00:22:15,416 --> 00:22:19,333
[screaming, rumbling continues]
463
00:22:20,750 --> 00:22:23,000
[humming "I Was Made for Lovin' You"
by KISS]
464
00:22:36,333 --> 00:22:39,541
♪ You were made for lovin' me ♪
465
00:22:39,625 --> 00:22:42,500
[all screaming]
466
00:22:42,583 --> 00:22:46,166
♪ I can't get enough of you, baby ♪
467
00:22:46,250 --> 00:22:48,875
♪ Can you get enough of me? ♪
468
00:22:48,958 --> 00:22:49,958
Never.
469
00:22:53,000 --> 00:22:56,541
[both singing]
♪ I was made for lovin' you, baby ♪
470
00:22:56,625 --> 00:22:58,916
♪ I was made for lovin' you, baby ♪
471
00:22:59,000 --> 00:23:00,000
♪ You know that! ♪
472
00:23:00,083 --> 00:23:01,166
[pinging]
473
00:23:01,250 --> 00:23:02,250
Uh...
474
00:23:02,875 --> 00:23:03,958
Darce...
475
00:23:13,208 --> 00:23:16,625
-Ah, that power.
-So pure.
476
00:23:16,708 --> 00:23:19,625
-It's divine.
-So beautiful.
477
00:23:19,708 --> 00:23:22,958
Just as it was written in the stars.
478
00:23:23,041 --> 00:23:24,041
Seize it!
479
00:23:24,125 --> 00:23:26,458
[KISS "I Was Made for Lovin' You" playing]
480
00:23:35,083 --> 00:23:36,916
Wow! Darce, look at this.
481
00:23:37,000 --> 00:23:38,875
This kid might have some magic of its own!
482
00:23:38,958 --> 00:23:40,500
Maybe we should keep singing?
483
00:23:40,583 --> 00:23:44,750
♪ Oh, I was made for lovin' you, baby ♪
484
00:23:44,833 --> 00:23:48,333
♪ You were made for lovin' me ♪
485
00:23:48,416 --> 00:23:52,333
♪ And I can't get enough of you, baby ♪
486
00:23:52,416 --> 00:23:56,083
♪ Can you get enough of me? ♪
487
00:23:56,166 --> 00:23:57,625
[lightning crackles]
488
00:23:57,708 --> 00:23:59,750
-You all right, Coulson?
-I'm good, boss.
489
00:23:59,833 --> 00:24:02,333
So, you know,
what do you think of the resort?
490
00:24:15,000 --> 00:24:17,833
There's... There's too many of them.
491
00:24:18,333 --> 00:24:21,250
No! There's gotta be
somethin' else we can do.
492
00:24:21,333 --> 00:24:22,750
[both groaning, grunting]
493
00:24:33,166 --> 00:24:34,291
Howard, the baby!
494
00:24:42,166 --> 00:24:43,458
[cracking]
495
00:24:44,666 --> 00:24:45,750
[all gasp]
496
00:24:45,833 --> 00:24:47,291
[all screaming]
497
00:24:59,208 --> 00:25:02,791
Okay, okay, this was fun,
but I have an orgy to get to.
498
00:25:05,458 --> 00:25:09,833
[all screaming]
499
00:25:46,375 --> 00:25:48,250
[gasps] Um, Howard?
500
00:25:48,791 --> 00:25:53,583
And to think I was worried
you wouldn't be able to protect her.
501
00:25:53,666 --> 00:25:57,375
Yeah, yeah. She's a natural-born slugger,
just like her old man.
502
00:25:57,458 --> 00:25:59,916
Oh, no need for that. I was wrong.
503
00:26:02,958 --> 00:26:06,166
Power that great
is safest with its family.
504
00:26:14,625 --> 00:26:15,875
You guys got this.
505
00:26:16,416 --> 00:26:17,416
Fury out!
506
00:26:21,791 --> 00:26:23,833
Hi, guys. Hi, hi.
507
00:26:24,708 --> 00:26:28,750
Listen, I've talked it over with my father
and to make amends...
508
00:26:28,833 --> 00:26:32,958
We'd like to comp you
a room at the lodge. And...
509
00:26:33,041 --> 00:26:36,583
Honestly, it's the least we could do.
Really, my friends. We insist.
510
00:26:37,541 --> 00:26:38,833
Full minibar.
511
00:26:39,458 --> 00:26:40,458
Mm.
512
00:26:41,333 --> 00:26:42,541
What do you think, babe?
513
00:26:43,708 --> 00:26:45,791
Never been one to turn down a free trip,
514
00:26:46,375 --> 00:26:48,916
but there's only one place in the world
I wanna be.
515
00:26:52,458 --> 00:26:57,125
[The Watcher] Even in an endless universe,
there's no place like home.
516
00:26:58,291 --> 00:27:03,125
And parents
are the greatest heroes of all.
517
00:27:10,166 --> 00:27:14,416
Aw. Our little Byrdie. She's perfect.
518
00:27:15,000 --> 00:27:16,625
Yeah. She is, isn't she?
519
00:27:18,041 --> 00:27:19,666
All right, like we rehearsed.
520
00:27:20,500 --> 00:27:21,583
Step...
521
00:27:21,666 --> 00:27:25,583
-Step. And step. And step.
-Step. And step. And step.
522
00:27:25,666 --> 00:27:26,875
-You get the door.
-Fine.
523
00:27:32,125 --> 00:27:33,125
[Byrdie crying]
524
00:27:33,208 --> 00:27:34,750
-No!
-Oh, God. Did you do the bottle?
525
00:27:34,833 --> 00:27:37,041
-You're supposed to do the bottle.
-No, the bottle's fine, Howard.
526
00:27:37,125 --> 00:27:39,250
No, it's way too hot.
You can't give a bottle that hot.
527
00:27:39,333 --> 00:27:40,875
It's the blanket. She hates the color!
528
00:27:40,958 --> 00:27:42,250
Why'd we get her this color?
529
00:27:42,333 --> 00:27:45,333
[♪ pleasant instrumental music playing]
530
00:28:26,291 --> 00:28:29,291
[theme music playing]
40227
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