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"Once upon a time,
there was a beautiful princess
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"with hair as golden as the sun.
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"Her father told her
if she was virtuous and pure,
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"then one day she would marry
a handsome prince."
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Right!
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00:00:18,360 --> 00:00:23,080
Ah, before we get to business,
felicitations are in order
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00:00:23,120 --> 00:00:27,280
to our chairman, Aubrey Frobisher,
and his new bride, Bunny,
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00:00:27,320 --> 00:00:30,440
on their recent...well,
dare I say, whirlwind nuptials.
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HE CHUCKLES, SHE GIGGLES
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00:00:32,520 --> 00:00:36,560
I managed to persuade
her to join our humble troupe.
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00:00:36,600 --> 00:00:39,240
She was an actress, you know.
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00:00:39,280 --> 00:00:42,400
Yeah, well, I gave up treading
the boards when I met Aubrey.
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00:00:42,440 --> 00:00:44,760
We just couldn't stand to be apart.
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Theatre's loss was our gain.
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00:00:47,240 --> 00:00:49,480
Oh, sweet man!
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00:00:49,520 --> 00:00:53,440
I would be happy to add a
touch of professional stardust
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00:00:53,480 --> 00:00:55,440
into your little pantomime.
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00:00:57,120 --> 00:00:58,840
HE CLEARS THROAT
Er, well, um...
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00:00:58,880 --> 00:01:02,360
Four weeks to our opening night
on 23rd of December,
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00:01:02,400 --> 00:01:04,840
so we have got our work cut out.
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00:01:04,880 --> 00:01:08,000
First and foremost,
the appointment of a director.
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00:01:08,040 --> 00:01:10,920
Ah, now, although
this is a break from tradition,
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I would like to propose the
appointment of a guest director.
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00:01:16,480 --> 00:01:19,720
Now, you may know
that Jonas Blake has recently
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00:01:19,760 --> 00:01:21,880
taken up residence
in Great Slaughter.
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00:01:21,920 --> 00:01:24,400
He was writing
nearby and came to see Aubrey
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for some investment advice.
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Who is Jonas Blake?
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BUNNY MURMURS
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Well, only the
hottest playwright in town.
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He penned Sir Laurence Olivier's
new hit play
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at the National Theatre.
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00:01:38,400 --> 00:01:41,160
Yeah, a splendid chap,
despite being an Australian.
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00:01:41,200 --> 00:01:44,200
He's keen to get
involved in the community.
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00:01:44,240 --> 00:01:47,480
When he heard about the pantomime,
he offered to sharpen our script
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and offered his services
as director.
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00:01:50,840 --> 00:01:54,160
Well, I rather think
I've proved MY director's mettle
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00:01:54,200 --> 00:01:56,600
in my - in the critics' words -
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00:01:56,640 --> 00:02:00,080
"triumphant rendering
of Three Men In A Boat."
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00:02:00,120 --> 00:02:01,440
Robbie.
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00:02:01,480 --> 00:02:03,360
Er... A-A directorial feat.
42
00:02:03,400 --> 00:02:06,320
Well, undoubtedly a triumph, Samira.
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00:02:06,360 --> 00:02:09,240
But this is enormous.
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00:02:09,280 --> 00:02:12,000
Audiences and
critics will flock to see
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00:02:12,040 --> 00:02:14,920
Jonas Blake's first foray
as a director.
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00:02:14,960 --> 00:02:18,160
In which case, as one of
our most esteemed actresses,
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00:02:18,200 --> 00:02:21,480
shouldn't you be in the spotlight,
not behind it?
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00:02:21,520 --> 00:02:23,280
He hinted...
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00:02:23,320 --> 00:02:25,440
..that Laurence Olivier...
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00:02:25,480 --> 00:02:28,840
..is going to attend our last night.
GASPS, MURMURS
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00:02:28,880 --> 00:02:30,680
That would show Deirdre Glenister!
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00:02:30,720 --> 00:02:33,400
TOM SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY
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00:02:33,440 --> 00:02:35,120
Indeed!
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00:02:35,160 --> 00:02:36,960
What do the statutes say, Dotty?
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Um...
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00:02:38,320 --> 00:02:40,800
Clause 18, subsection 5 -
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"The exclusions allow participation
of nonmembers
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00:02:44,600 --> 00:02:47,840
"if the appointment is ratified
by a vote."
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00:02:47,880 --> 00:02:50,080
TAPPING
All those in favour.
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00:02:51,920 --> 00:02:55,320
The eyes of the
world will soon be upon us.
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00:02:55,360 --> 00:03:00,120
This must be GSADS' biggest
and best performance yet.
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00:03:00,160 --> 00:03:01,920
AUBREY CHUCKLES
Yes.
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00:03:01,960 --> 00:03:03,360
Hear, hear.
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00:03:05,720 --> 00:03:07,640
CAWING
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00:03:53,440 --> 00:04:01,320
# O come, O come, Emmanuel
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00:04:01,360 --> 00:04:08,720
# And ransom captive Israel
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00:04:10,200 --> 00:04:18,840
# That mourns in lonely exile here
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00:04:18,880 --> 00:04:26,400
# Until the Son of God appear. #
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00:04:28,200 --> 00:04:31,640
This year's panto cast
needs swelling.
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00:04:31,680 --> 00:04:35,480
Oh. And my little birdie tells me
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00:04:35,520 --> 00:04:38,760
that you have a fine singing voice,
WPC Button.
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00:04:38,800 --> 00:04:41,720
I mean, perhaps you could be
our Cinderella.
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00:04:41,760 --> 00:04:43,360
Go on, then, sir.
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00:04:43,400 --> 00:04:46,040
I suppose every girl dreams
of playing Cinderell-er!
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00:04:46,080 --> 00:04:48,040
Livingstone. Gillespie.
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00:04:48,080 --> 00:04:50,040
Acting's not really my bag, sir.
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00:04:50,080 --> 00:04:52,160
No, the GSADS are not for me, sir.
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00:04:52,200 --> 00:04:56,120
Oh. Sir, I will say I am
quite intrigued by this pantomime.
79
00:04:56,160 --> 00:05:00,080
So...the principal boy's played
by a girl?Mm-hm.
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00:05:00,120 --> 00:05:02,200
And then the dame is a man?
81
00:05:02,240 --> 00:05:05,400
And the audience spend the entire
performance heckling the actors?
82
00:05:05,440 --> 00:05:06,880
Ah...
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00:05:06,920 --> 00:05:10,640
My error, in giving the impression
that that was a request.
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00:05:10,680 --> 00:05:15,680
I want you both washed and brushed
and ready to audition at 3pm sharp,
85
00:05:15,720 --> 00:05:17,880
and that is an order.
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00:05:17,920 --> 00:05:19,400
FELIX SIGHS
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00:05:22,120 --> 00:05:23,800
SAM SIGHS
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00:05:23,840 --> 00:05:27,560
It still looks a few pounds
short of a Christmas feast.
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00:05:27,600 --> 00:05:30,640
Dare we say, a little
on the scrawny side?
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00:05:30,680 --> 00:05:32,200
She won't like that.
91
00:05:32,240 --> 00:05:34,920
Here! Watch who you're calling
scrawny.
92
00:05:34,960 --> 00:05:37,880
He's well muscled. In't you, Terry?
93
00:05:39,080 --> 00:05:42,720
Oh! The Sunday School Medley
are auditioning for the pantomime
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00:05:42,760 --> 00:05:45,920
this afternoon, so
I need volunteers to chaperone.
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00:05:46,960 --> 00:05:48,640
Sunday School Medley.
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00:06:00,000 --> 00:06:02,200
Sister Reginald, you are excused.
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00:06:02,240 --> 00:06:04,960
Your time would be better used
fattening that bird,
98
00:06:05,000 --> 00:06:07,480
or there'll be no second helpings
for anyone.
99
00:06:07,520 --> 00:06:09,040
Cushty.
100
00:06:09,080 --> 00:06:11,640
Which leaves you two. Mm?
101
00:06:11,680 --> 00:06:13,800
Yes, Reverend Mother.
102
00:06:13,840 --> 00:06:16,440
I wish I'd been in a pantomime.
103
00:06:16,480 --> 00:06:18,960
I see no reason why not.
104
00:06:24,920 --> 00:06:27,640
You were raised
in the Australian outback.
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00:06:27,680 --> 00:06:29,280
Son of a sheep farmer.
106
00:06:29,320 --> 00:06:32,320
And Jonas Blake is a nom de plume?
A stage name.
107
00:06:32,360 --> 00:06:33,920
I started out as an actor,
108
00:06:33,960 --> 00:06:37,920
and Dwayne Baker from Kookaburra
Gull didn't quite have the ring.
109
00:06:37,960 --> 00:06:39,800
Why did you give up acting?
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00:06:39,840 --> 00:06:41,520
I was terrible at it.
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00:06:41,560 --> 00:06:43,960
Fortunately, I discovered
I was better at writing lines
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00:06:44,000 --> 00:06:45,560
than chewing them.
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00:06:45,600 --> 00:06:48,040
Tell us how the angry man
of Melbourne
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00:06:48,080 --> 00:06:50,360
has come to be directing
a provincial pantomime.
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00:06:50,400 --> 00:06:53,840
I'm writing a companion piece
to my Tony Award-winning Rift
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00:06:53,880 --> 00:06:57,400
entitled Nadir,
and I hope to direct it.
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00:06:57,440 --> 00:07:00,440
It's a chance
to flex my directorial muscles.
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00:07:00,480 --> 00:07:02,840
I promise you a
pantomime like no other.
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00:07:04,520 --> 00:07:06,280
Thank you for your time, Mr Blake.
120
00:07:07,680 --> 00:07:09,320
You have an interesting face.
121
00:07:11,840 --> 00:07:13,840
Innocent, yet full of angst.
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00:07:13,880 --> 00:07:15,800
Are you trying your luck today?
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00:07:17,200 --> 00:07:20,520
Copy to fill, deadlines to meet.
124
00:07:20,560 --> 00:07:22,360
Hi, Peggy.Hello, Norman.
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00:07:25,200 --> 00:07:26,800
It is a lot of time
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00:07:26,840 --> 00:07:31,640
locked up in close proximity
in a small group for weeks on end.
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00:07:31,680 --> 00:07:33,640
It can get emotionally...
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00:07:33,680 --> 00:07:35,560
..intense.
129
00:07:44,800 --> 00:07:49,840
Sister Boniface, Sister Peter, make
sure the children behave themselves.
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00:07:49,880 --> 00:07:51,680
CHILDREN SQUEAL
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00:07:54,840 --> 00:07:56,440
Oh, right.
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00:07:56,480 --> 00:07:57,840
Children!
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00:07:57,880 --> 00:08:00,640
Settle down. Children, please!
134
00:08:00,680 --> 00:08:03,840
Charlotte, do not eat that.
Put it down.
135
00:08:03,880 --> 00:08:06,040
No, not THERE!
136
00:08:06,080 --> 00:08:07,760
No hair-pulling, Clive!
137
00:08:07,800 --> 00:08:09,600
Or throttling! Kevin!
138
00:08:09,640 --> 00:08:12,600
Stop! Police!
139
00:08:12,640 --> 00:08:14,160
Any more of this,
140
00:08:14,200 --> 00:08:16,640
and I could have you
arrested for breach of the peace.
141
00:08:16,680 --> 00:08:18,040
Hands on heads.
142
00:08:18,080 --> 00:08:19,360
Form a line.
143
00:08:20,880 --> 00:08:22,640
BELL CHIMES
All yours, Sister.
144
00:08:22,680 --> 00:08:24,360
God bless you.
145
00:08:24,400 --> 00:08:26,080
This way, children.
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00:08:29,520 --> 00:08:31,160
Miraculous timing.
147
00:08:31,200 --> 00:08:32,920
They are quite a handful.
148
00:08:32,960 --> 00:08:34,560
Are you here on police business?
149
00:08:34,600 --> 00:08:36,640
If auditioning
for CC Lowsley counts.
150
00:08:36,680 --> 00:08:39,520
But we're only signing on
for walk-ons.
151
00:08:39,560 --> 00:08:43,560
On the brighter side, we could
expand our social circles.
152
00:08:55,680 --> 00:08:56,920
I don't want to.
153
00:08:58,040 --> 00:09:01,840
Nonsense.
We've come too far to give up now.
154
00:09:01,880 --> 00:09:05,160
This is Wilf Wilson,
who would like to sign up.
155
00:09:05,200 --> 00:09:06,920
I hardly think that's appropriate.
156
00:09:08,120 --> 00:09:10,480
He's an altar boy at St Vincent's.
157
00:09:10,520 --> 00:09:13,600
And if High Mass isn't drama,
I don't know what is.
158
00:09:13,640 --> 00:09:15,440
I can concur with that.
159
00:09:15,480 --> 00:09:18,520
Well, I wonder what the
staff at Grimley Chase would feel
160
00:09:18,560 --> 00:09:21,960
about one of their patients
gallivanting off at all times.
161
00:09:22,000 --> 00:09:25,200
I've spoken to the warden,
who agrees that Wilf can be trusted
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00:09:25,240 --> 00:09:27,240
to get himself
to and from rehearsals.
163
00:09:27,280 --> 00:09:29,800
Reverend Mother lent me a bicycle.
164
00:09:29,840 --> 00:09:31,480
Hmm.
165
00:09:31,520 --> 00:09:33,480
That may be...
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00:09:33,520 --> 00:09:36,080
..but I don't think
the audience would like to see
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00:09:36,120 --> 00:09:38,480
someone like him onstage.
168
00:09:39,960 --> 00:09:43,040
Actually, we do have a vacancy
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00:09:43,080 --> 00:09:45,120
for assistant props master.
170
00:09:45,160 --> 00:09:47,960
How does that sound?
It sounds important.
171
00:09:48,000 --> 00:09:49,840
Oh, yes, it is. Very.
172
00:09:49,880 --> 00:09:52,480
Well, shall I put you down?Please.
173
00:09:52,520 --> 00:09:53,880
Excellent.
174
00:09:55,600 --> 00:09:57,520
Come on. Let's go.
175
00:10:00,640 --> 00:10:03,320
"The princess
grew up virtuous and pure,
176
00:10:03,360 --> 00:10:05,840
"and one day she
met a handsome prince.
177
00:10:07,760 --> 00:10:11,360
"He said he loved her
and gave her a golden egg.
178
00:10:11,400 --> 00:10:13,840
"But the handsome prince
turned into a frog."
179
00:10:22,200 --> 00:10:23,960
My love?
180
00:10:25,360 --> 00:10:26,800
Have you...
181
00:10:26,840 --> 00:10:30,120
..thought about Jonas' proposal
for his new play?
182
00:10:30,160 --> 00:10:34,600
Oh, I prefer to risk my
money on something less fickle
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00:10:34,640 --> 00:10:36,320
than theatre audiences.
184
00:10:36,360 --> 00:10:39,120
HE HICCUPS
Oh, Aubrey Bear...
185
00:10:39,160 --> 00:10:40,840
Ooh!
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00:10:40,880 --> 00:10:43,240
As his investors,
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00:10:43,280 --> 00:10:45,480
think of all the people we'll meet,
188
00:10:45,520 --> 00:10:48,960
and all the parties.
You could show me off to the world.
189
00:10:49,000 --> 00:10:51,520
Well, I think I'd
rather keep you for myself!
190
00:10:51,560 --> 00:10:52,720
Oh!
191
00:10:52,760 --> 00:10:54,000
Woof, woof!
192
00:10:54,040 --> 00:10:55,200
Meow!
193
00:10:55,240 --> 00:10:56,600
Miranda!
194
00:10:56,640 --> 00:10:59,200
Must you always
creep up on us like that?
195
00:10:59,240 --> 00:11:01,240
You're late.Jim's lame.
196
00:11:01,280 --> 00:11:04,120
I had to put a poultice on.You
spend too much time at the stables
197
00:11:04,160 --> 00:11:06,040
when you should
be out meeting people.
198
00:11:06,080 --> 00:11:09,280
Yeah, a few new clothes
and some decent make-up
199
00:11:09,320 --> 00:11:11,920
wouldn't go amiss either.So I can
snag myself a rich husband?
200
00:11:11,960 --> 00:11:13,280
That's enough, Miranda.
201
00:11:13,320 --> 00:11:15,800
I have said that you'll
help backstage at the pantomime.
202
00:11:15,840 --> 00:11:17,040
No, thanks.
203
00:11:17,080 --> 00:11:19,600
Er, as long as you're under my roof,
204
00:11:19,640 --> 00:11:23,080
you'll do as you're told,
young lady. Is that understood?
205
00:11:26,480 --> 00:11:28,160
Oh, honey bunny. Come here.
206
00:11:31,840 --> 00:11:34,600
Peggy Button made
a charming Cinderella.
207
00:11:34,640 --> 00:11:37,640
Mm. I mean, can you
believe that Bunny Frobisher
208
00:11:37,680 --> 00:11:39,640
had the audacity to audition?
209
00:11:39,680 --> 00:11:43,080
Cinderella
is an innocent young maiden,
210
00:11:43,120 --> 00:11:45,880
and she's...neither.
211
00:11:45,920 --> 00:11:50,160
As for actress, no-one
seems to know what she was in.
212
00:11:50,200 --> 00:11:53,320
Gwen Pike had it from Doris Pound
that she played bit parts
213
00:11:53,360 --> 00:11:55,560
in a Shoreditch variety theatre.
214
00:11:55,600 --> 00:11:59,480
Mm. Aubrey Frobisher will
rue the day, you mark my words.
215
00:12:00,800 --> 00:12:02,480
I...
SHE GASPS
216
00:12:02,520 --> 00:12:04,160
Has the cat got your tongue?
217
00:12:04,200 --> 00:12:05,800
She's got...
218
00:12:05,840 --> 00:12:07,400
..an eye!
219
00:12:07,440 --> 00:12:08,760
CAT MEOWS
220
00:12:09,800 --> 00:12:10,800
Oh, dear.
221
00:12:12,120 --> 00:12:14,640
Is that it?
The Great Slaughter wreath thief?
222
00:12:14,680 --> 00:12:16,240
How many have been stolen?
223
00:12:17,840 --> 00:12:19,920
Um, well, two so far.
224
00:12:19,960 --> 00:12:22,960
One being Miss Thimble's,
who may well have mislaid it.
225
00:12:23,000 --> 00:12:26,600
Oyez! Oyez!
226
00:12:26,640 --> 00:12:29,040
Casting is announced!
227
00:12:29,080 --> 00:12:32,280
Ha-ha! Well done, everybody.
228
00:12:32,320 --> 00:12:35,400
Oh, and, um, special congratulations
to you, Mr Whalley,
229
00:12:35,440 --> 00:12:39,000
for bagging Buttons.I'm Buttons?
Mm-hm.
230
00:12:39,040 --> 00:12:40,560
Peggy Buttons,
231
00:12:40,600 --> 00:12:43,160
looks like we may be
spending a lot more time together!
232
00:12:43,200 --> 00:12:45,000
I wouldn't count on it.
233
00:12:45,040 --> 00:12:47,880
I'm Buxom Wench 3.
Crowd rehearsals only.
234
00:12:47,920 --> 00:12:51,320
Bunny Frobisher is your Cinderella.
235
00:12:51,360 --> 00:12:53,520
Frightening woman in the furs?
236
00:12:53,560 --> 00:12:55,920
Our director wants to add more...
237
00:12:55,960 --> 00:12:57,840
..maturity to the role.
238
00:12:59,160 --> 00:13:02,840
Hey, well,
at least I'm not Horstensia.
239
00:13:02,880 --> 00:13:04,960
Hmm? Who's Horstensia?
240
00:13:05,000 --> 00:13:06,520
You are.
241
00:13:06,560 --> 00:13:09,520
And so are you, Inspector Gillespie.
242
00:13:09,560 --> 00:13:11,840
Well, splendid stuff.
243
00:13:11,880 --> 00:13:15,320
Oh, and don't forget -
costume fittings this afternoon.
244
00:13:16,840 --> 00:13:18,760
What's wrong?
BELL DINGS
245
00:13:18,800 --> 00:13:21,200
Hello? Excuse me. Emergency.
246
00:13:21,240 --> 00:13:24,360
We wish to report a mutilation.
247
00:13:35,040 --> 00:13:36,320
Any thoughts, Sister?
248
00:13:36,360 --> 00:13:38,280
Well, it's definitely human.
249
00:13:38,320 --> 00:13:43,000
Lack of decomposition
suggests it was removed recently.
250
00:13:43,040 --> 00:13:46,360
Claw and beak
marks indicate by a bird.
251
00:13:46,400 --> 00:13:49,880
Medium-sized scavenger,
so possibly a crow.
252
00:13:49,920 --> 00:13:52,800
Who then dropped
it for Tibbles to find.
253
00:13:52,840 --> 00:13:56,040
There are signs of active bleeding.
254
00:13:56,080 --> 00:13:57,800
Which means?
255
00:13:57,840 --> 00:14:00,040
The victim was alive
when the eye was removed.
256
00:14:00,080 --> 00:14:01,880
Excellent news, Sister.
257
00:14:01,920 --> 00:14:03,840
Obviously not for the victim.
258
00:14:05,520 --> 00:14:07,840
TOM SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY
259
00:14:09,760 --> 00:14:11,520
How's that feeling, Tom?
260
00:14:11,560 --> 00:14:13,400
TOM SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY
261
00:14:14,720 --> 00:14:15,800
Bill!
262
00:14:17,240 --> 00:14:19,920
Could we add a little extra
padding...
263
00:14:19,960 --> 00:14:21,960
..downstairs?OK.
264
00:14:22,000 --> 00:14:25,560
Mr Frobisher! You must be Miranda.
265
00:14:25,600 --> 00:14:28,720
I've assigned you as props mistress.
266
00:14:28,760 --> 00:14:31,200
Oh, and this is Wilf.
267
00:14:31,240 --> 00:14:33,720
Your assistant props master.
268
00:14:33,760 --> 00:14:36,320
Well, I'll just
let you get on with it.
269
00:14:37,440 --> 00:14:38,800
Hello.
270
00:14:38,840 --> 00:14:40,360
Hello.
271
00:14:40,400 --> 00:14:42,640
Are you sure this was a good idea?
272
00:14:42,680 --> 00:14:46,360
It's bad enough at home,
with her looming like a black cloud.
273
00:14:46,400 --> 00:14:49,560
I did warn you she was difficult.
But don't worry, my darling,
274
00:14:49,600 --> 00:14:52,040
I'll do something about her,
I promise.
275
00:14:52,080 --> 00:14:53,840
As long as we're rid of her.Mm.
276
00:14:53,880 --> 00:14:56,720
Oh! Cheeky!
HE CHORTLES
277
00:15:07,680 --> 00:15:10,040
I'm...I'm sorry.
278
00:15:11,920 --> 00:15:14,320
My family didn't want me either.
279
00:15:16,760 --> 00:15:19,400
You don't know anything about me.
280
00:15:19,440 --> 00:15:22,200
Please, just keep your nose
out of my business.
281
00:15:27,800 --> 00:15:29,800
We've been checking
missing persons,
282
00:15:29,840 --> 00:15:31,640
and we think
we need to mount a search.
283
00:15:31,680 --> 00:15:34,280
But it's taking a lot of time,
so I'm afraid we're going
284
00:15:34,320 --> 00:15:36,840
to have to bow out of the pantomime.
Hang on, hang on.
285
00:15:36,880 --> 00:15:39,800
The eye was pecked out by a bird,
you say?
286
00:15:39,840 --> 00:15:42,440
So that gives us
a search radius of...
287
00:15:42,480 --> 00:15:45,520
Well, literally
as far as the crow flies.
288
00:15:45,560 --> 00:15:47,760
Well, that's an impossible task.
289
00:15:47,800 --> 00:15:50,480
See if Sister Boniface
can narrow it down a bit.
290
00:15:50,520 --> 00:15:52,120
Yes, sir.Yes, sir.
291
00:15:52,160 --> 00:15:55,800
And in the meantime,
I think police resources
292
00:15:55,840 --> 00:15:58,240
would be better utilised elsewhere.
293
00:15:59,440 --> 00:16:00,560
Giddy up!
294
00:16:08,360 --> 00:16:10,760
Can someone show
me to my dressing room?
295
00:16:11,960 --> 00:16:14,280
We're a democratic troupe.
296
00:16:14,320 --> 00:16:18,360
The artistes all muck in together
in the green room.
297
00:16:18,400 --> 00:16:21,760
Mr Blake, can you spare a moment?
298
00:16:21,800 --> 00:16:24,680
Anything for my leading lady.
299
00:16:24,720 --> 00:16:27,840
This leading lady
doesn't have a dressing room,
300
00:16:27,880 --> 00:16:31,360
and I need privacy
to hone my performance.
301
00:16:31,400 --> 00:16:33,720
Well, we wouldn't
want you unprepared.
302
00:16:33,760 --> 00:16:35,480
I'm sure, um...
303
00:16:37,120 --> 00:16:40,200
Vera.
..Vera can sort something out.
304
00:16:47,320 --> 00:16:49,520
I'm sorry I was so filthy.
305
00:16:49,560 --> 00:16:52,520
I was seething, but I didn't mean
to take it out on you.
306
00:16:52,560 --> 00:16:54,600
It's OK.
307
00:16:54,640 --> 00:16:57,320
What did you mean when you
said your parents didn't want you?
308
00:16:57,360 --> 00:16:58,920
I was a...
309
00:17:00,640 --> 00:17:02,560
..deviant.
310
00:17:02,600 --> 00:17:05,240
So they sent me to the orphanage.
311
00:17:05,280 --> 00:17:07,520
And I'm grown up now.
312
00:17:07,560 --> 00:17:09,600
I live at Grimley Chase.
313
00:17:09,640 --> 00:17:11,320
The asylum?
314
00:17:11,360 --> 00:17:13,400
Do you like it?
315
00:17:13,440 --> 00:17:15,080
HE SIGHS
316
00:17:15,120 --> 00:17:18,720
Everyone's old,
and they're all poorly.
317
00:17:18,760 --> 00:17:21,240
I don't have any friends.
318
00:17:21,280 --> 00:17:23,120
Neither do I.
319
00:17:23,160 --> 00:17:26,440
Girls my age are
only interested in boys,
320
00:17:26,480 --> 00:17:28,640
whereas I prefer horses.
321
00:17:30,240 --> 00:17:31,720
I could be your friend.
322
00:17:31,760 --> 00:17:33,920
I love animals,
323
00:17:33,960 --> 00:17:37,000
and I promise
I won't talk about boys.
324
00:17:37,040 --> 00:17:38,680
It's a deal.
325
00:17:43,040 --> 00:17:44,960
Why do I have to be the back?
326
00:17:45,000 --> 00:17:47,960
Because the senior officer
always leads from the front.
327
00:17:49,040 --> 00:17:50,720
My family better
not find out about this.
328
00:17:52,280 --> 00:17:55,400
"The princess returned
to her father's castle,
329
00:17:55,440 --> 00:17:58,480
"but he was angry
his daughter had married a frog
330
00:17:58,520 --> 00:18:01,440
"and so cast her
out into the winter snow,
331
00:18:01,480 --> 00:18:05,080
"where she would freeze,
and her eyes pecked out by crows."
332
00:18:39,080 --> 00:18:40,760
Hmm. Intriguing.
333
00:18:40,800 --> 00:18:44,000
Ladies and gentlemen,
thank you, one and all,
334
00:18:44,040 --> 00:18:45,960
for sharing my vision -
335
00:18:46,000 --> 00:18:49,560
to reenvisage the genre
by returning to Aschenputtel,
336
00:18:49,600 --> 00:18:51,280
the Brothers Grimm original.
337
00:18:51,320 --> 00:18:55,600
After all, real fairy
tales don't have happy endings.
338
00:18:58,960 --> 00:19:01,480
This isn't what I asked for at all.
This won't do.
339
00:19:01,520 --> 00:19:03,680
My proscenium has been much admired.
340
00:19:03,720 --> 00:19:05,960
Red, green, blue, yellow.
341
00:19:06,000 --> 00:19:08,680
It's all so...primary. Ugh.
342
00:19:10,520 --> 00:19:12,320
Whereas I see monochrome.
343
00:19:12,360 --> 00:19:14,840
Light and dark,
representing the battle
344
00:19:14,880 --> 00:19:18,400
between good and evil and,
in between, every shade of grey.
345
00:19:18,440 --> 00:19:20,600
Ha! Genius.
346
00:19:20,640 --> 00:19:24,160
Very Gormenghast.Yes.Excellent.
347
00:19:24,200 --> 00:19:27,600
Who?This will be a pantomime
like no other.
348
00:19:27,640 --> 00:19:29,760
Together, we will make history.
349
00:19:29,800 --> 00:19:31,120
Hear, hear!
350
00:19:31,160 --> 00:19:33,320
APPLAUSE
351
00:19:35,560 --> 00:19:38,080
I have no idea
what he's talking about.
352
00:19:38,120 --> 00:19:40,320
That makes two of us, Dotty.
353
00:19:44,480 --> 00:19:47,000
Are you sure
you're feeding him properly?
354
00:19:47,040 --> 00:19:48,800
Yes.
355
00:19:48,840 --> 00:19:51,160
Best quality cornmeal,
356
00:19:51,200 --> 00:19:54,680
mixed with oats, because
he's a bit of a feather plucker,
357
00:19:54,720 --> 00:19:56,840
and raisins.
Very fond of his raisins.
358
00:19:56,880 --> 00:20:00,120
Then, why isn't he getting
any bigger?I wondered that.
359
00:20:00,160 --> 00:20:02,600
Perhaps there's
something wrong with him.
360
00:20:02,640 --> 00:20:04,280
What, like bird virus?
361
00:20:04,320 --> 00:20:06,720
Maybe to play on the safe side,
362
00:20:06,760 --> 00:20:10,120
we should get a turkey
from Ted Button this year.
363
00:20:10,160 --> 00:20:14,000
We took vows of chastity,
obedience and poverty.
364
00:20:14,040 --> 00:20:17,520
When God gave Abraham
the ram in the burning bush,
365
00:20:17,560 --> 00:20:19,480
did he say, "No, thank you, Lord,
366
00:20:19,520 --> 00:20:22,400
"I'll get a bigger one
from the butcher"?
367
00:20:22,440 --> 00:20:24,080
Double his rations.
368
00:20:24,120 --> 00:20:25,720
Right you are.
369
00:20:31,000 --> 00:20:34,800
CC Lowsley insists we narrow
the area before we mount a search.
370
00:20:34,840 --> 00:20:37,280
Yes, I thought he might.
Can you do that?
371
00:20:37,320 --> 00:20:40,000
Negative.
Any forensic evidence was removed
372
00:20:40,040 --> 00:20:43,120
when Mrs Clam put the eyeball
in a jar of pickling vinegar.
373
00:20:43,160 --> 00:20:45,560
So we're stumped, then?
No. On the contrary.
374
00:20:45,600 --> 00:20:48,680
The eye has its window to the body
as well as the soul.
375
00:20:48,720 --> 00:20:51,280
I'm currently building up
a medical profile of the victim
376
00:20:51,320 --> 00:20:54,000
which may help us identify him.
From a pickled eyeball?
377
00:20:54,040 --> 00:20:57,760
Well, Horatio Nelson and I have been
spending quite some time together.
378
00:20:57,800 --> 00:21:01,920
Yes. Although there is a
50% chance they're a Horatia.
379
00:21:01,960 --> 00:21:04,280
And what have they
told you about themselves?
380
00:21:04,320 --> 00:21:08,320
Well, they're aged 70 to 80,
judging by the stage of a cataract.
381
00:21:08,360 --> 00:21:11,200
The pterygium growth suggests
they spent a lot of time outside.
382
00:21:11,240 --> 00:21:13,360
They're diabetic
and they needed glasses
383
00:21:13,400 --> 00:21:15,040
for long sight and astigmatism.
384
00:21:15,080 --> 00:21:16,800
So we're looking
for an elderly person
385
00:21:16,840 --> 00:21:18,800
that likes the
outdoors and wears glasses.
386
00:21:20,080 --> 00:21:22,360
Well, that's half
of Great Slaughter, Sister.
387
00:21:23,600 --> 00:21:26,160
If I can measure
the focal distance of the lens,
388
00:21:26,200 --> 00:21:28,080
then I can mock up the prescription
389
00:21:28,120 --> 00:21:30,920
and see if the optician
recognises it.
390
00:21:30,960 --> 00:21:32,680
Excellent work, Sister.
391
00:21:32,720 --> 00:21:34,600
And sooner rather than later.
392
00:21:34,640 --> 00:21:37,040
For all we know,
the victim could still be alive.
393
00:21:40,800 --> 00:21:43,560
Woohoo!Cooee!
394
00:21:43,600 --> 00:21:45,800
Step-Papa!
395
00:21:45,840 --> 00:21:47,520
Je suis revenu!
396
00:21:47,560 --> 00:21:49,560
Vulgaria! Dyspepsia!
397
00:21:49,600 --> 00:21:51,560
How was your trip to Paris?
398
00:21:51,600 --> 00:21:54,360
Absolument fantastique...
399
00:21:54,400 --> 00:21:56,840
Oh, Paris!
400
00:21:56,880 --> 00:21:58,640
We saw it all.
401
00:21:58,680 --> 00:22:01,960
Christine Die-or, Channel,
402
00:22:02,000 --> 00:22:05,560
Yves Saint Laur-ent...
That awful tower!
403
00:22:05,600 --> 00:22:08,520
That wasn't the Eiffel Tower
you saw.
404
00:22:08,560 --> 00:22:10,720
That was your ugly mush
in the mirror.
405
00:22:10,760 --> 00:22:12,520
FAKE LAUGHTER
406
00:22:14,760 --> 00:22:17,240
Can we speed it up, please,
Buttons?
407
00:22:17,280 --> 00:22:19,240
And maybe a tad
less of the grimacing.
408
00:22:19,280 --> 00:22:20,800
This thing's heavier than it looks.
409
00:22:20,840 --> 00:22:24,040
Positions! Pick up from Hardup,
"What's that?"Er, yes.
410
00:22:24,080 --> 00:22:26,520
What's that?
The rest of their shopping!
411
00:22:26,560 --> 00:22:30,480
We ran out of suitcases,
so we had to buy a wardrobe.
412
00:22:30,520 --> 00:22:32,800
Girls, you're bankrupting me!
413
00:22:32,840 --> 00:22:35,560
I might have to...get a job!
414
00:22:35,600 --> 00:22:40,640
My grandfather always used to say,
as one door closes, another opens.
415
00:22:40,680 --> 00:22:43,440
Lovely man, terrible carpenter.
416
00:22:43,480 --> 00:22:46,080
BANGS WARDROBE
417
00:22:46,120 --> 00:22:47,160
THUD!
418
00:22:54,080 --> 00:22:55,960
SHE SCREAMS
419
00:23:03,160 --> 00:23:05,880
Cause of death appears
to be a stab wound to the heart.
420
00:23:05,920 --> 00:23:08,960
Serrated edges suggest
a jagged blade
421
00:23:09,000 --> 00:23:12,000
approximately
two inches in diameter.
422
00:23:12,040 --> 00:23:14,080
Query some kind of hunting knife.
423
00:23:16,320 --> 00:23:18,520
Redness and irritation
around the mouth
424
00:23:18,560 --> 00:23:20,360
and the rope marks to his wrists
425
00:23:20,400 --> 00:23:24,800
suggest that he was chloroformed
and tied up before being stabbed.
426
00:23:24,840 --> 00:23:27,640
This wasn't in the heat
of the moment.
427
00:23:27,680 --> 00:23:29,080
Rigor mortis has set in.
428
00:23:29,120 --> 00:23:31,800
Seems he's been dead for
at least six to eight hours.
429
00:23:31,840 --> 00:23:34,480
What was Aubrey doing here
well before rehearsals?
430
00:23:34,520 --> 00:23:36,400
Perhaps this
has something to do with it.
431
00:23:36,440 --> 00:23:38,080
Look, the last entry
in his notebook.
432
00:23:38,120 --> 00:23:40,400
Henson, CFYC, Wheels.
433
00:23:40,440 --> 00:23:42,000
Hmm.
434
00:23:42,040 --> 00:23:44,840
OK, let's make a search
for the knife and take statements
435
00:23:44,880 --> 00:23:46,120
from everyone that was here.
436
00:23:46,160 --> 00:23:48,680
I'll see if his wife or daughter
can shed some light on this.
437
00:23:48,720 --> 00:23:50,800
His daughter went home in shock.
438
00:23:50,840 --> 00:23:53,560
I'm not sure Mrs Frobisher
is fit for interview.
439
00:23:57,040 --> 00:23:59,840
Well, we'll check back in
with them in the morning, shall we?
440
00:24:11,520 --> 00:24:13,840
I said I wasn't to be disturbed.
Police are here, ma'am.
441
00:24:16,320 --> 00:24:18,840
Oh, I was just
looking for photographs.
442
00:24:18,880 --> 00:24:22,200
We were only married a few short
weeks and I have so few memories.
443
00:24:23,720 --> 00:24:26,200
How did you and your husband meet?
444
00:24:26,240 --> 00:24:28,240
At a restaurant in London.
445
00:24:28,280 --> 00:24:30,840
A widow and a widower,
dining alone
446
00:24:30,880 --> 00:24:33,640
and somehow we got talking.
447
00:24:33,680 --> 00:24:36,240
After my husband died,
448
00:24:36,280 --> 00:24:39,720
I never thought I'd find love again.
449
00:24:39,760 --> 00:24:43,360
And then this wonderful man
swept me off my feet and...
450
00:24:44,680 --> 00:24:48,080
I'm sorry. We were so happy.
I'm sorry.
451
00:24:50,640 --> 00:24:52,440
SHE SOBS
452
00:24:54,640 --> 00:24:55,920
Thank you.
453
00:24:55,960 --> 00:24:58,760
When was the last time
you saw your husband?Um...
454
00:25:01,120 --> 00:25:03,200
Around midday yesterday.
455
00:25:03,240 --> 00:25:05,400
He was supposed to be taking me out
for lunch,
456
00:25:05,440 --> 00:25:08,320
but he had to dash off for a meeting
with Samira Rowbotham.
457
00:25:09,920 --> 00:25:11,640
He was a frightful grump.
458
00:25:13,640 --> 00:25:15,520
And that was the last time
I ever saw him.
459
00:25:16,680 --> 00:25:19,040
My poor Aubrey.
460
00:25:19,080 --> 00:25:20,520
Who would do this to him?
461
00:25:22,120 --> 00:25:24,320
Did your husband have any enemies?
462
00:25:27,640 --> 00:25:29,720
Other than the obvious.
463
00:25:29,760 --> 00:25:32,320
He was sending her away, you know?
464
00:25:35,320 --> 00:25:37,880
SHE CLICKS TONGUE
Here, boy!
465
00:25:37,920 --> 00:25:41,360
I need someone to fetch my wrap
from my dressing room.
466
00:25:42,440 --> 00:25:43,960
Can you manage that?
467
00:25:44,000 --> 00:25:45,480
His name's Wilf.
468
00:25:45,520 --> 00:25:47,600
He's not here to fetch and carry
for the likes of you.
469
00:25:47,640 --> 00:25:50,480
Miranda, show some respect
to your stepmother.
470
00:25:50,520 --> 00:25:51,960
For what?
471
00:25:52,000 --> 00:25:53,880
Being a mutton dressed as a lamb
gold-digger?
472
00:25:53,920 --> 00:25:56,520
HE SPLUTTERS
How dare you?!
473
00:25:56,560 --> 00:26:00,200
You are a rude, insolent brat,
474
00:26:00,240 --> 00:26:02,880
who thankfully, I won't have
to put up with for much longer.
475
00:26:04,000 --> 00:26:06,560
Are you going to tell her,
Aubrey? Or am I?
476
00:26:07,920 --> 00:26:11,880
We've decided
it's time you were independent.
477
00:26:11,920 --> 00:26:15,560
You have a place at secretarial
college in Edinburgh
478
00:26:15,600 --> 00:26:18,520
starting in the New Year.
No, I don't want to go.
479
00:26:18,560 --> 00:26:20,440
It's time you made your own way
in the world.
480
00:26:20,480 --> 00:26:23,560
What about Jim?Well, I'm sure we'll
find a good buyer for him.
481
00:26:23,600 --> 00:26:25,440
You can't do this.
Please, I'm begging you...
482
00:26:25,480 --> 00:26:27,600
It's my final decision.
483
00:26:27,640 --> 00:26:29,600
And remember, Miranda,
484
00:26:29,640 --> 00:26:32,320
you brought this on yourself.
485
00:26:34,280 --> 00:26:36,040
SHE TUTS
486
00:26:37,480 --> 00:26:39,760
There's something not right
about that girl.
487
00:26:43,120 --> 00:26:46,000
I haven't seen
her shed a single tear.
488
00:26:46,040 --> 00:26:47,520
One more thing. Um...
489
00:26:47,560 --> 00:26:52,920
Do the words "Henson, CFYC,
Wheels" mean anything to you?
490
00:26:54,040 --> 00:26:55,440
I'm afraid not.
491
00:26:57,320 --> 00:27:00,040
Now, if you'll excuse me, I, um...
492
00:27:00,080 --> 00:27:02,400
..I have a meeting to get ready for.
493
00:27:02,440 --> 00:27:04,000
Ruby will see you out.
494
00:27:06,800 --> 00:27:07,800
Bone dry.
495
00:27:08,840 --> 00:27:11,520
His daughter isn't the only
one who hasn't shed a single tear.
496
00:27:13,120 --> 00:27:14,120
Gentlemen.
497
00:27:18,400 --> 00:27:21,520
HORSE WHINNIES
I think Jim likes me.
498
00:27:22,560 --> 00:27:24,720
Horses are great judges of
character.
499
00:27:24,760 --> 00:27:26,120
Better than humans.
500
00:27:28,480 --> 00:27:30,760
Will you stay with Jim now?
501
00:27:30,800 --> 00:27:31,800
I expect so.
502
00:27:32,960 --> 00:27:35,640
This was my mother's home
and now it's mine.
503
00:27:37,480 --> 00:27:39,240
Maybe I'll start a livery stable.
504
00:27:39,280 --> 00:27:42,400
That way I can spend all day
with horses.
505
00:27:42,440 --> 00:27:44,400
You could even help out if you like.
506
00:27:44,440 --> 00:27:46,560
Do you really mean that?
507
00:27:46,600 --> 00:27:47,680
Of course I do.
508
00:27:48,840 --> 00:27:51,080
Will you ask your stepmother too?
509
00:27:51,120 --> 00:27:52,800
Don't even joke about it.
510
00:27:52,840 --> 00:27:54,320
KNOCK ON DOOR
511
00:27:54,360 --> 00:27:55,800
Miss Frobisher?
512
00:27:55,840 --> 00:27:57,800
I'm paying my condolences.
513
00:27:57,840 --> 00:28:00,800
That's very considerate of you, Wilf.
514
00:28:00,840 --> 00:28:03,280
Do you mind if we have a private
word with Miranda?
515
00:28:04,360 --> 00:28:05,680
Why don't you have a go?
516
00:28:05,720 --> 00:28:07,240
Long, slow strokes.
517
00:28:16,720 --> 00:28:18,720
We're sorry for your loss.
And rest assured,
518
00:28:18,760 --> 00:28:21,040
we're doing everything we
can to find out who did this.
519
00:28:21,080 --> 00:28:22,080
Thank you.
520
00:28:23,360 --> 00:28:24,920
Were you and your father close?
521
00:28:26,200 --> 00:28:28,000
He went out of his way to avoid me
522
00:28:28,040 --> 00:28:29,640
because he thought
I killed my mother.
523
00:28:30,760 --> 00:28:33,680
She died giving birth
and I was a constant reminder.
524
00:28:33,720 --> 00:28:37,440
Can you tell us where you were
yesterday between 1pm and 4pm?
525
00:28:38,560 --> 00:28:39,880
Riding.
526
00:28:39,920 --> 00:28:41,360
I took Jim out on a hack.
527
00:28:42,720 --> 00:28:44,360
Can anyone verify this?
528
00:28:46,200 --> 00:28:47,600
You think I killed him?
529
00:28:47,640 --> 00:28:49,120
N-n... I-It's just we understand
530
00:28:49,160 --> 00:28:51,680
that your father had...asked you
to leave home...
531
00:28:51,720 --> 00:28:53,080
I hated him.
532
00:28:53,120 --> 00:28:55,760
And he wasn't much of a father...
533
00:28:55,800 --> 00:28:58,000
..but he's the only family I had.
534
00:28:59,320 --> 00:29:03,000
And if you're looking for someone
with motive, try his merry widow.
535
00:29:04,160 --> 00:29:06,360
I'm sure he's left her
well provided for.
536
00:29:07,960 --> 00:29:09,800
Thank you, Miss Frobisher.
537
00:29:09,840 --> 00:29:12,000
We'll be in touch
if there's anything else.
538
00:29:25,680 --> 00:29:27,240
Good day to you, Mr Simpson.
539
00:29:27,280 --> 00:29:29,800
I seek assistance tracking down
a missing person
540
00:29:29,840 --> 00:29:32,480
aged over 70 with
astigmatism in at least one eye
541
00:29:32,520 --> 00:29:33,800
and hypermetropia.
542
00:29:33,840 --> 00:29:35,840
I took the liberty
of calculating a prescription.
543
00:29:35,880 --> 00:29:40,160
Sphere -1.75, cylinder -50, axis 70.
544
00:29:45,800 --> 00:29:47,040
Robbie!
545
00:29:47,080 --> 00:29:48,720
Here, Robbie!
546
00:29:48,760 --> 00:29:50,680
The Glenisters are building
a conservatory.
547
00:29:50,720 --> 00:29:53,080
Expect an invitation from
them so they can show it off.
548
00:29:53,120 --> 00:29:54,520
We'll never hear the end of it.
549
00:29:54,560 --> 00:29:56,240
Do you know, I was thinking...
550
00:29:56,280 --> 00:29:59,520
..maybe it's time we enlarged
OUR backside.
551
00:29:59,560 --> 00:30:02,160
Yes, dear. The police are here.
Do you want me to stay?
552
00:30:02,200 --> 00:30:03,960
There's no need, Mr Rowbotham.
553
00:30:04,000 --> 00:30:07,360
We're just trying to trace the
last movements of Aubrey Frobisher.
554
00:30:09,440 --> 00:30:11,200
Better get off to work, Robbie.
555
00:30:14,560 --> 00:30:16,080
Excuse me.
556
00:30:21,360 --> 00:30:23,240
Thank you for lunch, dear.
557
00:30:23,280 --> 00:30:24,840
Very nice.
558
00:30:32,320 --> 00:30:33,320
'Bye.
559
00:30:34,760 --> 00:30:37,720
We understand that you met
with Aubrey yesterday morning.
560
00:30:37,760 --> 00:30:39,120
PANTs!
561
00:30:39,160 --> 00:30:41,040
I...beg your pardon?
562
00:30:41,080 --> 00:30:43,840
Pantomime Artists No...Trust...s.
563
00:30:45,040 --> 00:30:47,080
It's, um, a GSADS charity.
564
00:30:48,240 --> 00:30:50,200
All the money from
the pantomime ticket sales
565
00:30:50,240 --> 00:30:52,680
goes towards local worthy causes.
566
00:30:52,720 --> 00:30:54,480
I see.
567
00:30:54,520 --> 00:30:57,760
And what was the
reason for the meeting?
568
00:30:57,800 --> 00:31:01,200
Well, I'm treasurer
of GSADS and Aubrey is..
569
00:31:01,240 --> 00:31:03,160
..was chairman.
570
00:31:04,640 --> 00:31:06,400
Why are you asking?
571
00:31:06,440 --> 00:31:09,600
It's just his wife mentioned he was
a bit on edge beforehand.
572
00:31:09,640 --> 00:31:12,080
SHE SCOFFS LIGHTLY
Being married to a woman like that
573
00:31:12,120 --> 00:31:13,360
would keep any man on edge.
574
00:31:13,400 --> 00:31:14,680
If you must know,
575
00:31:14,720 --> 00:31:18,840
it was merely a routine meeting
to go through the accounts.
576
00:31:18,880 --> 00:31:20,960
I take it they're all in order?
577
00:31:21,000 --> 00:31:22,360
Impertinent.
578
00:31:22,400 --> 00:31:24,440
I have an excellent head
for figures.
579
00:31:24,480 --> 00:31:26,680
Then you'll have no
objection to us taking a look.
580
00:31:28,200 --> 00:31:29,920
Be my guest.
581
00:31:32,320 --> 00:31:35,040
Mr Frobisher's existing will,
582
00:31:35,080 --> 00:31:37,120
leaving his whole estate
to his daughter,
583
00:31:37,160 --> 00:31:39,520
was nullified on his remarriage.
584
00:31:39,560 --> 00:31:42,720
Accordingly, he was in the
process of drawing up a new one,
585
00:31:42,760 --> 00:31:45,440
leaving generous provision
for his wife,
586
00:31:45,480 --> 00:31:47,240
while his daughter would receive
the house
587
00:31:47,280 --> 00:31:49,320
and the rest of the estate.
588
00:31:49,360 --> 00:31:51,280
I believe he discussed this
with you?
589
00:31:51,320 --> 00:31:54,280
He may have mentioned it,
but I had no interest.
590
00:31:54,320 --> 00:31:57,000
We'd just got married, I didn't
want to think about him dying.
591
00:31:57,040 --> 00:31:58,120
Mm.
592
00:31:58,160 --> 00:31:59,880
Well, I'm afraid...
593
00:31:59,920 --> 00:32:01,760
..he was yet to sign it.
594
00:32:01,800 --> 00:32:04,000
Which means he died intestate.
595
00:32:04,040 --> 00:32:05,440
Without a will.
596
00:32:05,480 --> 00:32:06,920
What does that mean?
597
00:32:06,960 --> 00:32:08,640
In such cases,
598
00:32:08,680 --> 00:32:11,920
the bulk of the estate passes
to the surviving spouse.
599
00:32:13,760 --> 00:32:16,760
But that's not fair.
It's the law, I'm afraid.
600
00:32:16,800 --> 00:32:18,880
Of course,
given your father's wishes,
601
00:32:18,920 --> 00:32:22,000
I'm sure Mrs Frobisher would want
to do the right thing.
602
00:32:22,040 --> 00:32:23,640
Of course.
603
00:32:30,720 --> 00:32:34,080
Bunny Frobisher,
the grieving widow, twice over.
604
00:32:34,120 --> 00:32:36,560
Let's find out what
happened to husband number one
605
00:32:36,600 --> 00:32:38,560
and get a copy
of Aubrey Frobisher's will.
606
00:32:38,600 --> 00:32:40,400
Let's see what she stood to inherit.
607
00:32:40,440 --> 00:32:43,520
Miranda Frobisher,
the ungrieving daughter.
608
00:32:43,560 --> 00:32:45,680
And she was furious
that her father remarried.
609
00:32:45,720 --> 00:32:47,720
Also, he was sending her away.
610
00:32:47,760 --> 00:32:49,280
Samira Rowbotham.
611
00:32:49,320 --> 00:32:52,960
She had a routine meeting
about the charity accounts.
612
00:32:53,000 --> 00:32:54,600
But we know it was last-minute,
613
00:32:54,640 --> 00:32:58,160
because Aubrey Frobisher had
to cancel his lunch with his wife.
614
00:32:58,200 --> 00:33:00,480
Horatio Nelson has a name.
615
00:33:00,520 --> 00:33:02,520
Silas Kaleb, age 72.
616
00:33:02,560 --> 00:33:04,080
Oh, uh, and an address.
617
00:33:04,120 --> 00:33:06,040
About eight miles
east of Little Williamscot.
618
00:33:26,960 --> 00:33:29,800
According to the optician,
Silas Kaleb was a known recluse.
619
00:33:29,840 --> 00:33:32,400
He only came into
town for food and supplies.
620
00:33:32,440 --> 00:33:34,920
Which would explain
why no-one reported him missing.
621
00:33:36,000 --> 00:33:38,200
No obvious wounds to the body
622
00:33:38,240 --> 00:33:40,120
or ligature marks.
623
00:33:40,160 --> 00:33:43,040
And as he was still
alive when the eye was removed,
624
00:33:43,080 --> 00:33:45,400
I'd say for now, the most
likely cause was hypothermia.
625
00:33:45,440 --> 00:33:47,600
Could you help me move him, please?
Just pop him there.
626
00:33:47,640 --> 00:33:50,760
Could he have taken
ill and collapsed out here?
627
00:33:50,800 --> 00:33:54,760
But why was he outside without
a coat on and slippers on his feet?
628
00:34:01,280 --> 00:34:03,360
Well, judging by
these splinters of wood,
629
00:34:03,400 --> 00:34:06,520
I conjecture
he was incapacitated inside,
630
00:34:06,560 --> 00:34:09,680
then dragged out here
and left to freeze to death.
631
00:34:11,800 --> 00:34:12,920
This was murder.
632
00:34:15,080 --> 00:34:18,640
Right, according to his family
tree, his wife died in 1946.
633
00:34:18,680 --> 00:34:19,800
They had one child,
634
00:34:19,840 --> 00:34:22,600
although I can't see the name,
it's been struck out.
635
00:34:22,640 --> 00:34:24,560
It must have been
quite some estrangement.Mm.
636
00:34:24,600 --> 00:34:28,120
An elderly recluse living alone,
seemingly nothing to steal.
637
00:34:28,160 --> 00:34:30,120
Why would anyone want to murder him?
638
00:34:31,840 --> 00:34:33,760
Or send him a Christmas card?
639
00:34:36,640 --> 00:34:38,680
A hand-painted one at that.
640
00:34:38,720 --> 00:34:40,040
The Little Match Girl.
641
00:34:41,600 --> 00:34:44,640
"Season's greetings
and a happy ever after."
642
00:34:46,200 --> 00:34:48,640
Tragic as it is,
the audience is king.
643
00:34:48,680 --> 00:34:49,920
So we're all in agreement?
644
00:34:49,960 --> 00:34:52,480
We can't let our public down.
645
00:34:52,520 --> 00:34:54,760
Colin could step up as narrator.
646
00:34:54,800 --> 00:34:57,640
Poor Bunny Frobisher can hardly
continue.
647
00:34:57,680 --> 00:34:59,880
So we're a Cinderella short,
as well!
648
00:34:59,920 --> 00:35:01,920
I cast my vote for Peggy Button.
649
00:35:01,960 --> 00:35:03,760
Her audition was delightful!
650
00:35:03,800 --> 00:35:05,360
Second that!I third it!
651
00:35:05,400 --> 00:35:08,000
No-one was asking you.
What does our director think?
652
00:35:08,040 --> 00:35:11,320
Mm... She could add
a certain rustic charm.
653
00:35:11,360 --> 00:35:12,600
All those in favour?
654
00:35:14,920 --> 00:35:17,040
My dear lady,
we weren't expecting you.
655
00:35:17,080 --> 00:35:19,920
Our sincere condolences.
656
00:35:19,960 --> 00:35:21,840
And I can't let you down.
657
00:35:23,080 --> 00:35:25,360
The show must go on.
658
00:35:25,400 --> 00:35:27,600
It's what Aubrey would have wanted.
659
00:35:34,200 --> 00:35:36,440
I've brought you a present!
SHE GASPS DRAMATICALLY
660
00:35:37,880 --> 00:35:41,040
A winter strawberry!
661
00:35:41,080 --> 00:35:44,920
My favourite! And I'm so hungry.
662
00:35:44,960 --> 00:35:47,400
How can I ever thank you, Buttons?
663
00:35:50,360 --> 00:35:52,160
How about a kiss?Oh!
664
00:35:52,200 --> 00:35:54,760
But I've
never kissed a boy before.
665
00:35:54,800 --> 00:35:56,160
It's easy.
666
00:35:57,200 --> 00:35:58,800
Close your eyes
667
00:35:58,840 --> 00:36:00,760
and pretend you're
blowing out a candle.
668
00:36:02,720 --> 00:36:04,920
And Buttons goes in for the kiss.
669
00:36:06,920 --> 00:36:09,520
This side of
Christmas would be nice.
670
00:36:09,560 --> 00:36:11,280
HE SNEEZES
Oh!
671
00:36:12,440 --> 00:36:15,320
I can't work with this Pinocchio.
672
00:36:16,600 --> 00:36:19,600
Take a few minutes.
We'll pick this up later and, um...
673
00:36:19,640 --> 00:36:21,840
..perhaps we can
work around that kiss.
674
00:36:26,680 --> 00:36:29,120
We have to make allowances
for grief.
675
00:36:29,160 --> 00:36:33,280
At the same time, let's unearth some
of that raw, unrequited passion.
676
00:36:33,320 --> 00:36:36,720
You...you fantasise about
deflowering this young maiden.
677
00:36:36,760 --> 00:36:39,480
It might help
if she was young and maidenly.
678
00:36:40,800 --> 00:36:42,400
Moving on to
the glass slipper scene.
679
00:36:42,440 --> 00:36:44,000
Did you all get your revised script?
680
00:36:44,040 --> 00:36:46,680
TOM GRUMBLES INDISTINCTLY
681
00:36:48,160 --> 00:36:52,000
Yes, er, I think what
Tom is trying to say is...
682
00:36:52,040 --> 00:36:56,240
..do we really want the
ugly sisters dismembering their toes
683
00:36:56,280 --> 00:36:58,320
to fit into the crystal slipper?
684
00:36:58,360 --> 00:37:01,240
All I've done is return to
the Brothers Grimm source material.
685
00:37:01,280 --> 00:37:03,560
What about the kiddies?
They'll lap it up!
686
00:37:03,600 --> 00:37:06,240
Children love to watch
bad people get their just deserts.
687
00:37:06,280 --> 00:37:09,480
Children aren't nearly as
innocent as they'd like us to think.
688
00:37:09,520 --> 00:37:11,440
Then we are agreed.
Where are props?
689
00:37:11,480 --> 00:37:14,600
We need to talk shears,
sausages and fake blood.
690
00:37:17,280 --> 00:37:20,080
Does nobody have
anything to say about this?!
691
00:37:20,120 --> 00:37:23,560
Oh, you can't have a revolution
without spinning the wheel.
692
00:37:23,600 --> 00:37:25,920
TOM MUTTERS INDISTINCTLY
693
00:37:25,960 --> 00:37:28,280
I share your sentiments, Tom.
694
00:37:28,320 --> 00:37:31,160
Though possibly
not the choice of words.
695
00:37:36,720 --> 00:37:39,040
I can't bear
this subterfuge.
696
00:37:39,080 --> 00:37:41,920
How much longer before we announce
ourselves to the world?
697
00:37:41,960 --> 00:37:44,200
Perhaps longer than
a day after your bereavement.
698
00:37:44,240 --> 00:37:46,720
I can't spend much more time
in this godforsaken backwater.
699
00:37:46,760 --> 00:37:48,480
Nor will you.
700
00:37:48,520 --> 00:37:51,560
I've put the feelers out to Larry
and he's keen.
701
00:37:51,600 --> 00:37:53,920
With him as our lead,
we can't fail.
702
00:37:55,160 --> 00:37:57,360
I'm more than just
a chequebook, you know.
703
00:37:58,440 --> 00:38:00,920
Have you thought
about a leading lady?
704
00:38:00,960 --> 00:38:03,800
The...final decision rests
with Larry,
705
00:38:03,840 --> 00:38:05,480
but once he's seen you.
706
00:38:05,520 --> 00:38:06,880
Mm.Mm...
707
00:38:11,120 --> 00:38:12,880
Goodbye, my Cinderella.
708
00:38:26,200 --> 00:38:27,640
Oh, dear.
709
00:38:27,680 --> 00:38:29,640
A fox, we assume?Yeah.
710
00:38:29,680 --> 00:38:33,440
Devious little beggars.
Must have dug in under the wire.
711
00:38:33,480 --> 00:38:35,960
There goes our Christmas dinner.
712
00:38:36,000 --> 00:38:39,920
If it is God's will we go without,
then so be it.
713
00:38:41,760 --> 00:38:45,720
Perhaps Sister Lawrence
can rustle up a mock goose.
714
00:38:45,760 --> 00:38:47,760
It was all very well in the war.
715
00:38:47,800 --> 00:38:49,640
And we've plenty of potatoes.
716
00:39:14,800 --> 00:39:16,200
We need to talk.
717
00:39:17,320 --> 00:39:19,040
About you leaving.
718
00:39:20,640 --> 00:39:22,600
This is my home.
It's my home now.
719
00:39:22,640 --> 00:39:24,960
And I'm selling it
and moving back to London.
720
00:39:25,000 --> 00:39:27,200
You know, my father wanted it
to be mine.
721
00:39:27,240 --> 00:39:30,360
Of course he would have wanted me
to make provisions for you.
722
00:39:30,400 --> 00:39:34,720
You will receive
an annual allowance of £250.
723
00:39:34,760 --> 00:39:37,920
Obviously, you'll have
to support yourself as well.
724
00:39:37,960 --> 00:39:39,240
Where will I go?
725
00:39:39,280 --> 00:39:42,320
I suggest you take that
place up at secretarial college.
726
00:39:42,360 --> 00:39:43,640
You evil old witch!
727
00:39:43,680 --> 00:39:46,800
The words you are
looking for are "thank you".
728
00:39:46,840 --> 00:39:49,600
I'm not obliged
to give you anything,
729
00:39:49,640 --> 00:39:53,360
especially after
your behaviour toward me.
730
00:39:53,400 --> 00:39:55,040
I know you killed him.
731
00:39:55,080 --> 00:39:57,280
Did you kill your last husband too?
732
00:39:57,320 --> 00:39:58,960
SHE SCOFFS
733
00:40:00,200 --> 00:40:03,240
I won't lower myself
by responding to that.
734
00:40:03,280 --> 00:40:06,320
You have until the New Year.
735
00:40:06,360 --> 00:40:09,280
So if I were you,
I'd start making plans.
736
00:40:10,760 --> 00:40:12,600
Enjoy your breakfast.
737
00:40:17,280 --> 00:40:19,640
A known recluse
with no family or friends,
738
00:40:19,680 --> 00:40:22,240
except for this estranged child.
739
00:40:22,280 --> 00:40:24,840
Let's start by trying to find them.
740
00:40:24,880 --> 00:40:27,800
Is it too much to hope that you've
got anything on Aubrey Frobisher?
741
00:40:27,840 --> 00:40:30,640
I took a look at the figures and
we are talking a substantial amount.
742
00:40:30,680 --> 00:40:32,880
Last year's takings were
over £2,000.
743
00:40:32,920 --> 00:40:35,040
Anything suspicious?
No, the figures all add up,
744
00:40:35,080 --> 00:40:36,800
but I did figure out one thing.
745
00:40:36,840 --> 00:40:39,840
So, all of the charities,
CFYC, Henson and Wheels,
746
00:40:39,880 --> 00:40:41,480
they're all supported by PANTs.
747
00:40:41,520 --> 00:40:43,840
I'm going to look at
the addresses and follow up.
748
00:40:43,880 --> 00:40:45,040
Morning.
749
00:40:45,080 --> 00:40:47,520
There's someone you
may want to add to that board.
750
00:40:50,640 --> 00:40:52,680
I'd hardly call it an affair.
751
00:40:52,720 --> 00:40:54,560
So what would you call it?
752
00:40:55,960 --> 00:40:57,920
Une badinage du theatre.
753
00:40:59,480 --> 00:41:02,280
The flame burns bright for as long
as the rum before...
754
00:41:03,360 --> 00:41:06,200
..turning to embers
at the final curtain call.
755
00:41:06,240 --> 00:41:10,080
And how long was this...
"bonne diege" going on for?
756
00:41:10,120 --> 00:41:11,760
Just a few weeks.
757
00:41:11,800 --> 00:41:14,760
What can I say?
She showed willing and I was weak.
758
00:41:14,800 --> 00:41:18,040
Coincidentally, her
new husband was a wealthy man.
759
00:41:18,080 --> 00:41:20,840
And you're starting
a new show, I believe.
760
00:41:22,200 --> 00:41:26,240
Mea culpa. I must confess to
using this provincial opportunity
761
00:41:26,280 --> 00:41:28,920
to attempt to undo
Aubrey's purse strings.
762
00:41:28,960 --> 00:41:31,640
Can you tell me where you were
on Tuesday between one and four?
763
00:41:32,840 --> 00:41:35,680
Pounding the keys and praying for
the inspiration of Thoth.
764
00:41:37,200 --> 00:41:39,320
I hope I'm not a suspect.
765
00:41:39,360 --> 00:41:41,560
Did Aubrey find out about
the affair?
766
00:41:41,600 --> 00:41:43,840
Perhaps there was a fight and...
767
00:41:43,880 --> 00:41:45,080
..you stabbed him.
768
00:41:47,040 --> 00:41:48,960
I admit to being a philanderer,
769
00:41:49,000 --> 00:41:51,040
but I'm also a gentleman.
770
00:41:51,080 --> 00:41:52,400
If Aubrey had found out,
771
00:41:52,440 --> 00:41:55,880
I'd have taken a punch on the
nose as his cuckold's prerogative.
772
00:41:55,920 --> 00:41:58,840
The suggestion I'd stab him is,
frankly, insulting.
773
00:42:00,760 --> 00:42:02,720
We'll let you know
if there's anything else.
774
00:42:02,760 --> 00:42:05,120
Thank you for your time.
And for yours.
775
00:42:05,160 --> 00:42:07,600
I'll be seeing you at the
full props rehearsal tonight.
776
00:42:07,640 --> 00:42:09,840
And I do hope you're off book.
777
00:42:09,880 --> 00:42:12,080
Or should that be, on the hoof?
778
00:42:14,880 --> 00:42:18,360
"The princess made her way
to the frog prince's kingdom.
779
00:42:18,400 --> 00:42:22,280
"But the king and queen didn't want
it known that their son was a frog."
780
00:42:33,000 --> 00:42:35,320
MUSIC PLAYS
781
00:42:42,800 --> 00:42:44,000
Stop, stop, stop!
782
00:42:45,960 --> 00:42:47,480
This is torture.
783
00:42:47,520 --> 00:42:49,080
An assault on the senses.
784
00:42:49,120 --> 00:42:50,480
What do you think you're doing?
785
00:42:50,520 --> 00:42:54,440
I expect they've been rather
busy investigating the brutal murder
786
00:42:54,480 --> 00:42:56,480
of our chairman.
787
00:42:56,520 --> 00:42:59,520
They just need a little
more rehearsal time, that's all.
788
00:42:59,560 --> 00:43:01,520
Who is Horstensia?
789
00:43:01,560 --> 00:43:03,800
Why does she dance
while Cinderella weeps?
790
00:43:03,840 --> 00:43:04,960
What is this about?
791
00:43:05,000 --> 00:43:06,440
She's a pantomime horse.
792
00:43:06,480 --> 00:43:08,760
She'll go to the knacker's yard
and be turned into glue
793
00:43:08,800 --> 00:43:11,480
before the start of act one.
Offstage!
794
00:43:11,520 --> 00:43:13,040
Thank you for your contributions.
795
00:43:13,080 --> 00:43:15,120
You're no longer needed.
796
00:43:15,160 --> 00:43:18,920
Fine by us.
You can't get rid of Hortensia!
797
00:43:18,960 --> 00:43:21,240
Cinderella will wear a
vial of glue around her neck
798
00:43:21,280 --> 00:43:23,000
as a reminder of her loss.
799
00:43:23,040 --> 00:43:25,440
So, what do we all think?
800
00:43:25,480 --> 00:43:27,080
GASPING
801
00:43:27,120 --> 00:43:30,000
Oh, for goodness' sake, Samira,
spit it out!
802
00:43:30,040 --> 00:43:31,800
Shall I get your medication?
803
00:43:31,840 --> 00:43:32,840
CHOKING
804
00:43:40,440 --> 00:43:41,880
I'm afraid it's too late.
805
00:43:53,040 --> 00:43:55,160
Do we have an exact time of death?
806
00:43:55,200 --> 00:43:56,200
Half nine.
807
00:43:57,480 --> 00:44:00,560
Yet rigor mortis has already
set in, which is unusual,
808
00:44:00,600 --> 00:44:02,240
as is the opisthotonus...
809
00:44:03,720 --> 00:44:05,600
..the rigid
extensions of her limbs.
810
00:44:05,640 --> 00:44:08,120
And there are traces of cyanosis
to the face.
811
00:44:08,160 --> 00:44:10,560
So she didn't die
from a heart attack?
812
00:44:10,600 --> 00:44:14,280
I conjecture some
sort of fast-acting poison.
813
00:44:15,480 --> 00:44:17,240
Oh, dear.Sister?
814
00:44:19,280 --> 00:44:23,600
It transpires we have some sort
of serial murderer on our hands.
815
00:44:23,640 --> 00:44:27,000
So the question is...who's next?
61249
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