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If you look inside your bags,
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you will find a few things.
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A bouquet of hand-crocheted
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flower pens...
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Oh!
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A mosaic portrait
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of each of you
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made from the crushed
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bottles of your
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favorite diet soda,
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and a personalized
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5,000-word essay
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of why you are
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all so awesome.
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What's Galentine's Day?
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Oh, it's only the best
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day of the year.
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Every February 13th,
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my lady friends and I
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leave our husbands
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and our boyfriends at home
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and we just come
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and kick it breakfast style.
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Ladies celebrating ladies.
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It's like Lilith Fair
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minus the angst.
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Plus frittatas.
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So to conclude
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our Galentine's Day
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breakfast,
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it is time for the greatest
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story ever told.
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What's the story?
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It's the most
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romantic story ever.
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It makes The Notebook
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look like Saw V.
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Go, Mom, go.
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It was 1968.
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I was 18
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and our family went
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on a vacation to Bermuda.
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And on the first day,
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I went for a swim
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in the ocean.
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And I got caught
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in a very strong current.
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You've heard this
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story before, right?
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Yes, but the drama.
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The next thing I felt
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were two very
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powerful arms
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whisking me to safety.
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And he looked down
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at me and he said,
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"Are you okay?"
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And I looked up
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at him and I said,
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"I am now."
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So they sneak out
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to meet each other
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and walk on the beach.
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And two weeks later,
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he asked her
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to marry him and
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move to Illinois.
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But her parents thought
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she was too young,
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so she said no.
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And then they lost touch,
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and a few years later
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she met my dad.
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I gotta take one
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of those lifeguard courses.
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Those guys get
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all the action.
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Am I right, Justin?
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We gotta find this guy.
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Frank? He's probably
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married or dead.
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What's the difference?
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Am I right, Justin?
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Well, at least let
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me try and find him.
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Imagine how much better
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that story would be
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if we actually reunited them?
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I think Justin's right.
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You should let him do this.
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Okay. Do it.
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But if you find him
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and he's weird,
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like a ventriloquist,
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or a puppeteer,
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or anyone who pretends
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toys are people,
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then abort the mission.
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Absolutely.
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You, you're the best
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girlfriend ever.
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Aw!
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Happy Valentine's Day.
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I knew, eventually,
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somehow,
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being in a relationship
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with you would
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totally pay off.
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I bought him some
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actual towels.
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He was using a bathrobe.
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And I bought him some other
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things that humans
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usually use, like shampoo.
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Troops, gather around.
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Great news.
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The Senior Center
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Valentine's Dance
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is tomorrow,
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from 5:00 to 9:00.
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Are we talking a.m. or p.m.?
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Those people are old.
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Am I right, Justin?
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Oh! Justin's not here.
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It isn't just a job, gang,
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we're gonna learn
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a lot from these seniors.
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Some of them
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have been married
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for half a century.
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And no offense,
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but everybody here
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is terrible at love.
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Divorced, dating a gay guy,
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divorced twice,
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jury's still out on you two.
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And Jerry, who knows.
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I've been happily
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married for 28 years.
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You've met my wife,
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Gayle, many times.
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Whatever.
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Finally, Ann and Mark
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are our special volunteers,
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and they will be
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available whenever needed.
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I didn't volunteer.
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Yeah, too bad.
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You got drafted.
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Ask not what your old people
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could do for you,
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ask what you could do
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for your old people.
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Terminator.
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What? No, JFK.
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This meeting
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has been terminated.
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That is the Terminator.
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Nice.
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Where am I going?
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Well, hello there.
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Well, hey.
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I got your message.
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You wanted to talk?
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Yes, I do.
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Oh.
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Have a seat.
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Mmm.
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Some champagne?
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Uh, no, thanks.
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Come on.
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This is Armand de Brignac.
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Jay-Z drinks this.
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Yeah, well, Jay-Z
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doesn't have to
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perform surgery in an hour.
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You don't know
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Jay-Z's schedule.
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He's a renaissance man.
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Okay, fine.
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Well, this is for you.
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Oh!
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Well, it's almost
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Valentine's Day,
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so I thought it
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would be a good day
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to tell you that...
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Okay. Let me just
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stop you right there.
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Look, Tommy,
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I just want you to know
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I'm so grateful for everything
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you did for me,
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but I only see
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us as friends.
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For now. But think about
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how much better
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our friendship would be
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if we added doing it.
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Seriously, I know
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our marriage was fake,
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but there's something
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between us.
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And I think we should
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give it a shot, for real.
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I just don't feel
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that way about you.
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I'm sorry.
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Each time I do
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Just the thought of you
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makes me stop before I begin
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I've got you
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Under my skin
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So, there's that one,
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I guess.
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All right.
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You guys sound ready
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for the dance tomorrow.
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I don't know about
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these old fogy songs,
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Leslie.
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Why can't we just
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do our originals?
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I just wrote
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a new song, okay?
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Bottom line,
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it's called Sex Hair.
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It's about how you can tell
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when someone's just had sex
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'cause of how their
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hair gets matted up
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in the back. It's awesome.
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Think of it this way.
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These songs are exactly
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like the songs
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you usually play,
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except instead
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of modern rock,
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they're old jazzy
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standards from the '40s.
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Okay, yeah. You got a point.
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Yeah.
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You're gonna do great.
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All right, guys.
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Andy, I've been here
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for half an hour.
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Can I get my shoes shined?
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Kyle, I'm gonna lose
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my on you
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if you ask me one more time.
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Found him.
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Frank Beckerson, 63.
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Lives in a little town
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called Bridgeport, Illinois.
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Divorced, no kids,
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worked as a lifeguard
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when he was 20.
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Ron, I need a half a day off
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for a secret mission of love.
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You're asking my permission
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to take a nooner?
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Sure. Well,
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I don't know. Maybe.
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Justin and I need to go
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on a romantically-inspired
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road trip.
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So it is a nooner?
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Well, we're planning
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to leave around noon,
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so I'm not quite sure...
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That's... No, Leslie,
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that is not a nooner.
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I tracked down
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this old flame
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of Leslie's mom.
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We're gonna go pick him up.
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We're gonna reunite them
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on Valentine's Day.
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Is that
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a great story or what?
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Yeah, great story indeed.
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Enjoy your half day off.
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Thank you.
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Pick you up
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tomorrow around noon.
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For our nooner.
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Which is a cute word.
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Explain it to her later.
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Explain what?
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Happy Valentine's Day.
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First off,
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a bear in a paper bag
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and a heart-shaped balloon.
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I love bears in bags.
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Well, you will
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like this, then.
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Because this is a giant teddy
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bear holding a red heart.
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Aw!
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Festive. What's this?
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Oh, I don't know.
302
00:07:26,040 --> 00:07:28,370
It's a heart-shaped
303
00:07:26,040 --> 00:07:28,370
box of chocolates.
304
00:07:28,440 --> 00:07:31,640
That's a dozen red roses
305
00:07:28,440 --> 00:07:31,640
in a heart-shaped
306
00:07:28,440 --> 00:07:31,640
arrangement.
307
00:07:31,710 --> 00:07:35,980
See that? Perfume.
308
00:07:31,710 --> 00:07:35,980
For the lady. Yeah.
309
00:07:31,710 --> 00:07:35,980
Ooh! Ooh!
310
00:07:36,050 --> 00:07:38,580
"Yearning, by
311
00:07:36,050 --> 00:07:38,580
Dennis Feinstein."
312
00:07:39,150 --> 00:07:43,150
Mmm. Ooh!
313
00:07:39,150 --> 00:07:43,150
Dennis. No, no, Dennis.
314
00:07:43,220 --> 00:07:45,490
Finally,
315
00:07:43,220 --> 00:07:45,490
The Heart of the Ocean.
316
00:07:45,560 --> 00:07:47,930
Gorgeous.
317
00:07:50,830 --> 00:07:55,170
I never had a chance to get
318
00:07:50,830 --> 00:07:55,170
a girl a clichéd
319
00:07:50,830 --> 00:07:55,170
Valentine's Day gift before.
320
00:07:55,240 --> 00:07:57,540
So I got you all of them.
321
00:08:00,180 --> 00:08:01,870
Thank you.
322
00:08:00,180 --> 00:08:01,870
That was very sweet.
323
00:08:02,480 --> 00:08:03,780
Do you think
324
00:08:02,480 --> 00:08:03,780
they'll get married?
325
00:08:03,850 --> 00:08:05,470
Oh, my God,
326
00:08:03,850 --> 00:08:05,470
what if they get married?
327
00:08:05,550 --> 00:08:06,670
That would be amazing.
328
00:08:06,750 --> 00:08:08,740
Would I
329
00:08:06,750 --> 00:08:08,740
call him "Dad" then?
330
00:08:09,020 --> 00:08:12,680
Hmm. Hmm.
331
00:08:09,020 --> 00:08:12,680
No, that'd be too much.
332
00:08:09,020 --> 00:08:12,680
Maybe I'll call him "Pappy."
333
00:08:12,750 --> 00:08:15,190
Pop? Poppy? Paw-Paw?
334
00:08:15,660 --> 00:08:17,290
Look at me.
335
00:08:15,660 --> 00:08:17,290
I'm getting ahead of myself.
336
00:08:17,360 --> 00:08:19,120
Hey. You never know.
337
00:08:20,360 --> 00:08:22,760
I'm gonna call him
338
00:08:20,360 --> 00:08:22,760
"Poo-Paw."
339
00:08:22,830 --> 00:08:25,320
How often do you get
340
00:08:22,830 --> 00:08:25,320
to reunite soul mates?
341
00:08:25,670 --> 00:08:28,570
What if I told you
342
00:08:25,670 --> 00:08:28,570
that you could reunite
343
00:08:25,670 --> 00:08:28,570
Romeo and Juliet?
344
00:08:28,640 --> 00:08:31,200
Or Brad Pitt
345
00:08:28,640 --> 00:08:31,200
and Jennifer Aniston?
346
00:08:32,570 --> 00:08:35,240
Oh, Jen. I really
347
00:08:32,570 --> 00:08:35,240
want you to be happy.
348
00:08:37,150 --> 00:08:38,840
Stay away from John Mayer.
349
00:08:40,150 --> 00:08:42,140
I cannot believe
350
00:08:40,150 --> 00:08:42,140
I'm gonna meet
351
00:08:40,150 --> 00:08:42,140
Frank Beckerson.
352
00:08:42,220 --> 00:08:44,620
I feel like I've known
353
00:08:42,220 --> 00:08:44,620
him my whole life.
354
00:08:46,650 --> 00:08:47,990
Frank?
355
00:08:48,060 --> 00:08:50,790
My God. Marlene.
356
00:08:50,860 --> 00:08:53,890
Oh, no. Poo-Paw.
357
00:08:50,860 --> 00:08:53,890
Poo-Paw, no.
358
00:08:50,860 --> 00:08:53,890
I'm not Marlene.
359
00:08:55,300 --> 00:08:59,170
Oh! So sorry. I should
360
00:08:55,300 --> 00:08:59,170
really wear my glasses.
361
00:08:55,300 --> 00:08:59,170
Come on in.
362
00:09:04,740 --> 00:09:06,230
Frank, I was wondering.
363
00:09:06,310 --> 00:09:08,780
My mom always said that
364
00:09:06,310 --> 00:09:08,780
you wanted to be a lawyer.
365
00:09:08,840 --> 00:09:09,870
Did that work out?
366
00:09:09,940 --> 00:09:11,410
No. Never did.
367
00:09:11,480 --> 00:09:14,110
Though I did once
368
00:09:11,480 --> 00:09:14,110
act as my own lawyer.
369
00:09:15,320 --> 00:09:19,190
Oh! I found some
370
00:09:15,320 --> 00:09:19,190
old pictures
371
00:09:15,320 --> 00:09:19,190
of Marlene and me. Look.
372
00:09:21,420 --> 00:09:22,890
Look how young she is.
373
00:09:22,960 --> 00:09:24,260
These are amazing.
374
00:09:24,830 --> 00:09:27,160
Probably shouldn't
375
00:09:24,830 --> 00:09:27,160
show you this one.
376
00:09:29,130 --> 00:09:30,560
No, thank you.
377
00:09:31,370 --> 00:09:35,500
Your mom was such
378
00:09:31,370 --> 00:09:35,500
a firecracker. Smart,
379
00:09:31,370 --> 00:09:35,500
funny, sharp as a tack.
380
00:09:35,570 --> 00:09:37,840
Such firm breasts.
381
00:09:38,670 --> 00:09:39,940
Oh, that was inappropriate.
382
00:09:41,780 --> 00:09:46,310
Wow. I am just,
383
00:09:41,780 --> 00:09:46,310
all of a sudden,
384
00:09:41,780 --> 00:09:46,310
so nervous to see her again.
385
00:09:47,650 --> 00:09:50,080
I'm gonna throw up
386
00:09:47,650 --> 00:09:50,080
real quick
387
00:09:47,650 --> 00:09:50,080
and then we can leave.
388
00:09:52,320 --> 00:09:53,980
Hi.
389
00:09:54,060 --> 00:09:55,550
Valentine's bash
390
00:09:54,060 --> 00:09:55,550
at The Bulge tonight.
391
00:09:55,620 --> 00:09:57,090
We can get you
392
00:09:55,620 --> 00:09:57,090
a drink bracelet.
393
00:09:57,590 --> 00:10:01,360
I can't. I've gotta
394
00:09:57,590 --> 00:10:01,360
work at the Senior Center
395
00:09:57,590 --> 00:10:01,360
Valentine's Day Dance thing.
396
00:10:01,430 --> 00:10:03,690
That sounds amazing.
397
00:10:01,430 --> 00:10:03,690
Can we come?
398
00:10:04,330 --> 00:10:06,360
I guess.
399
00:10:04,330 --> 00:10:06,360
I don't know why
400
00:10:04,330 --> 00:10:06,360
you would want to.
401
00:10:06,430 --> 00:10:07,560
Because old people
402
00:10:06,430 --> 00:10:07,560
are funny.
403
00:10:07,640 --> 00:10:09,330
Yeah, it'll be like
404
00:10:07,640 --> 00:10:09,330
The Golden Girls.
405
00:10:09,400 --> 00:10:10,960
I have to go get ready.
406
00:10:13,710 --> 00:10:16,340
So, Frank,
407
00:10:13,710 --> 00:10:16,340
where have you been
408
00:10:13,710 --> 00:10:16,340
for the past 40 years?
409
00:10:16,410 --> 00:10:19,900
Oh! You know, here and there.
410
00:10:16,410 --> 00:10:19,900
You know?
411
00:10:16,410 --> 00:10:19,900
Grenada, for a while.
412
00:10:19,980 --> 00:10:23,610
Then Panama,
413
00:10:19,980 --> 00:10:23,610
then Afghanistan.
414
00:10:23,850 --> 00:10:25,820
So you were in the military?
415
00:10:23,850 --> 00:10:25,820
Nope.
416
00:10:26,220 --> 00:10:29,090
You know, I always wonder
417
00:10:26,220 --> 00:10:29,090
how different
418
00:10:26,220 --> 00:10:29,090
my life would've been
419
00:10:29,160 --> 00:10:31,320
if your mother
420
00:10:29,160 --> 00:10:31,320
had married me.
421
00:10:31,790 --> 00:10:34,920
It would've been better.
422
00:10:31,790 --> 00:10:34,920
I'll tell you that much.
423
00:10:36,600 --> 00:10:38,570
Frank? Frank, are you okay?
424
00:10:38,630 --> 00:10:40,690
I'm fine. I'm good.
425
00:10:42,900 --> 00:10:45,930
I am just so
426
00:10:42,900 --> 00:10:45,930
nervous to see her.
427
00:10:46,010 --> 00:10:47,570
There is nothing
428
00:10:46,010 --> 00:10:47,570
to be nervous about.
429
00:10:48,180 --> 00:10:50,010
Have you got
430
00:10:48,180 --> 00:10:50,010
a bag or something?
431
00:10:48,180 --> 00:10:50,010
A what?
432
00:10:50,080 --> 00:10:51,340
Do you have a bag?
433
00:10:50,080 --> 00:10:51,340
I have a purse.
434
00:10:51,410 --> 00:10:52,540
Well, give him
435
00:10:51,410 --> 00:10:52,540
the purse then.
436
00:10:52,610 --> 00:10:53,640
All right.
437
00:11:00,120 --> 00:11:03,350
You like potato
438
00:11:00,120 --> 00:11:03,350
and I like potahto
439
00:11:03,760 --> 00:11:07,090
You like tomato
440
00:11:03,760 --> 00:11:07,090
and I like tomahto
441
00:11:07,160 --> 00:11:10,660
Potato, potahto
442
00:11:07,160 --> 00:11:10,660
Tomato, tomahto
443
00:11:10,730 --> 00:11:13,130
Let's call
444
00:11:10,730 --> 00:11:13,130
the whole thing off.
445
00:11:15,340 --> 00:11:16,330
Uh...
446
00:11:16,570 --> 00:11:18,400
I mean, that sucked,
447
00:11:16,570 --> 00:11:18,400
didn't it?
448
00:11:18,470 --> 00:11:20,770
Maybe if you sang it
449
00:11:18,470 --> 00:11:20,770
like Louis Armstrong.
450
00:11:20,840 --> 00:11:22,000
Maybe, yeah.
451
00:11:22,640 --> 00:11:24,810
I mean, here's
452
00:11:22,640 --> 00:11:24,810
the thing, though.
453
00:11:24,880 --> 00:11:26,310
Who is that?
454
00:11:27,750 --> 00:11:32,380
My problem is I don't know
455
00:11:27,750 --> 00:11:32,380
how to tell
456
00:11:27,750 --> 00:11:32,380
if we're doing good.
457
00:11:32,450 --> 00:11:33,720
Because when you
458
00:11:32,450 --> 00:11:33,720
play a rock show,
459
00:11:33,790 --> 00:11:35,450
it's really easy to know
460
00:11:33,790 --> 00:11:35,450
if you're doing great
461
00:11:35,520 --> 00:11:39,650
because chicks will
462
00:11:35,520 --> 00:11:39,650
flash their boobs at you
463
00:11:35,520 --> 00:11:39,650
when you're up onstage.
464
00:11:39,730 --> 00:11:42,960
And you're like,
465
00:11:39,730 --> 00:11:42,960
"Oh! That must've
466
00:11:39,730 --> 00:11:42,960
sounded pretty good."
467
00:11:43,030 --> 00:11:47,400
If that happens here,
468
00:11:43,030 --> 00:11:47,400
my eyes will fall out
469
00:11:43,030 --> 00:11:47,400
of my head and I'll die.
470
00:11:52,740 --> 00:11:55,010
Frank? Frank, are you okay?
471
00:11:59,580 --> 00:12:01,610
Maybe we should...
472
00:11:59,580 --> 00:12:01,610
Yeah. Frank.
473
00:12:01,920 --> 00:12:03,820
Frank. Frank.
474
00:12:01,920 --> 00:12:03,820
Frank.
475
00:12:05,990 --> 00:12:08,960
But I can't
476
00:12:05,990 --> 00:12:08,960
see anybody but you
477
00:12:10,960 --> 00:12:12,020
Flip flop
478
00:12:12,090 --> 00:12:14,690
You know, I might be crazy,
479
00:12:12,090 --> 00:12:14,690
but I have this
480
00:12:12,090 --> 00:12:14,690
weird suspicion
481
00:12:14,760 --> 00:12:16,660
that things are
482
00:12:14,760 --> 00:12:16,660
going well with us.
483
00:12:17,430 --> 00:12:20,300
You know, I have
484
00:12:17,430 --> 00:12:20,300
that same suspicion.
485
00:12:22,000 --> 00:12:24,030
But having never been
486
00:12:22,000 --> 00:12:24,030
in something
487
00:12:22,000 --> 00:12:24,030
like this before,
488
00:12:24,110 --> 00:12:27,670
I feel the need to ask,
489
00:12:24,110 --> 00:12:27,670
how am I doing?
490
00:12:28,680 --> 00:12:29,840
Come on.
491
00:12:29,910 --> 00:12:32,640
No, I'm sort of serious.
492
00:12:33,750 --> 00:12:35,610
All right, fine,
493
00:12:33,750 --> 00:12:35,610
forget it.
494
00:12:37,990 --> 00:12:40,010
I'm just saying, you know,
495
00:12:37,990 --> 00:12:40,010
it seems to me, on paper,
496
00:12:40,090 --> 00:12:42,020
that this thing
497
00:12:40,090 --> 00:12:42,020
we have is pretty great.
498
00:12:42,090 --> 00:12:43,350
Yes, nerd.
499
00:12:44,060 --> 00:12:47,050
On paper, this thing
500
00:12:44,060 --> 00:12:47,050
we have is pretty great.
501
00:12:47,130 --> 00:12:48,650
Mark is a great boyfriend.
502
00:12:48,730 --> 00:12:53,260
I have no complaints at all.
503
00:12:48,730 --> 00:12:53,260
Everything is good.
504
00:12:57,170 --> 00:12:59,800
I don't know.
505
00:12:57,170 --> 00:12:59,800
I don't feel right
506
00:12:57,170 --> 00:12:59,800
about this.
507
00:12:59,870 --> 00:13:02,500
Are you kidding me?
508
00:12:59,870 --> 00:13:02,500
This is so much fun.
509
00:13:03,110 --> 00:13:05,550
Look, we took
510
00:13:03,110 --> 00:13:05,550
a road trip today.
511
00:13:05,980 --> 00:13:08,140
We chased your mom's
512
00:13:05,980 --> 00:13:08,140
long lost love
513
00:13:05,980 --> 00:13:08,140
down a freeway.
514
00:13:08,220 --> 00:13:09,550
He's a loon, Justin.
515
00:13:09,620 --> 00:13:10,680
So he freaked
516
00:13:09,620 --> 00:13:10,680
out a little bit.
517
00:13:10,750 --> 00:13:11,910
He got nervous.
518
00:13:10,750 --> 00:13:11,910
I mean, you would, too.
519
00:13:11,990 --> 00:13:13,720
He was fine by the time
520
00:13:11,990 --> 00:13:13,720
we got him back
521
00:13:11,990 --> 00:13:13,720
inside the car.
522
00:13:13,790 --> 00:13:15,050
Yeah, well, he cried
523
00:13:13,790 --> 00:13:15,050
himself to sleep.
524
00:13:15,120 --> 00:13:17,350
I mean, I don't know
525
00:13:15,120 --> 00:13:17,350
why you're pushing.
526
00:13:17,430 --> 00:13:19,090
Why do you want him
527
00:13:17,430 --> 00:13:19,090
to spend time with my mom?
528
00:13:19,160 --> 00:13:20,820
How would that help her?
529
00:13:20,900 --> 00:13:23,520
I don't like this. I don't
530
00:13:20,900 --> 00:13:23,520
think this is gonna work.
531
00:13:20,900 --> 00:13:23,520
I'm calling this off.
532
00:13:23,600 --> 00:13:26,360
Come on.
533
00:13:23,600 --> 00:13:26,360
No, no, no. Look, we're here.
534
00:13:23,600 --> 00:13:26,360
Let's just see what happens.
535
00:13:26,430 --> 00:13:27,730
What happens is,
536
00:13:26,430 --> 00:13:27,730
I drive him home.
537
00:13:27,800 --> 00:13:29,000
Now, look.
538
00:13:27,800 --> 00:13:29,000
You need to breathe.
539
00:13:29,070 --> 00:13:30,870
I'm breathing. Okay?
540
00:13:37,110 --> 00:13:38,310
Mom.
541
00:13:38,810 --> 00:13:39,840
Oh!
542
00:13:39,910 --> 00:13:41,280
There you are.
543
00:13:41,350 --> 00:13:43,320
So, what's the big surprise?
544
00:13:43,380 --> 00:13:46,120
You gonna try to check me
545
00:13:43,380 --> 00:13:46,120
into an old folks home?
546
00:13:46,190 --> 00:13:47,280
It's a long story.
547
00:13:47,360 --> 00:13:49,020
One that we'd love
548
00:13:47,360 --> 00:13:49,020
to tell you
549
00:13:47,360 --> 00:13:49,020
over a cup of coffee,
550
00:13:49,090 --> 00:13:50,960
somewhere far
551
00:13:49,090 --> 00:13:50,960
from this place.
552
00:13:55,900 --> 00:13:57,090
Frank.
553
00:13:58,300 --> 00:13:59,530
Hello, Marlene.
554
00:13:59,600 --> 00:14:04,370
My gosh. I can't
555
00:13:59,600 --> 00:14:04,370
believe it's really you.
556
00:14:05,540 --> 00:14:07,410
Wanna catch up?
557
00:14:09,140 --> 00:14:10,240
Sure.
558
00:14:14,920 --> 00:14:15,980
Oh, boy.
559
00:14:16,050 --> 00:14:17,580
Oh, boy.
560
00:14:19,890 --> 00:14:22,290
Do you think we
561
00:14:19,890 --> 00:14:22,290
should stand by...
562
00:14:22,360 --> 00:14:26,520
She's fine.
563
00:14:22,360 --> 00:14:26,520
Let's just let this unfold.
564
00:14:29,700 --> 00:14:33,160
Come here,
565
00:14:29,700 --> 00:14:33,160
sonny. Let me tell you
566
00:14:29,700 --> 00:14:33,160
about the Civil War.
567
00:14:33,230 --> 00:14:35,640
Grandpa,
568
00:14:33,230 --> 00:14:35,640
leave me alone.
569
00:14:33,230 --> 00:14:35,640
You smell like death.
570
00:14:40,610 --> 00:14:42,700
I'm gonna get some punch.
571
00:14:46,310 --> 00:14:51,510
Excuse me. You guys
572
00:14:46,310 --> 00:14:51,510
are really adorable.
573
00:14:46,310 --> 00:14:51,510
It's really nice.
574
00:14:53,020 --> 00:14:55,960
So Leslie's like,
575
00:14:53,020 --> 00:14:55,960
"That's it,
576
00:14:53,020 --> 00:14:55,960
I'm taking him home."
577
00:14:56,020 --> 00:14:58,580
So, we look over,
578
00:14:56,020 --> 00:14:58,580
and he's not even
579
00:14:56,020 --> 00:14:58,580
in the car anymore.
580
00:14:58,660 --> 00:14:59,650
You're kidding.
581
00:14:59,730 --> 00:15:01,160
No. It's insane.
582
00:15:02,630 --> 00:15:04,960
What does Leslie
583
00:15:02,630 --> 00:15:04,960
think about all this?
584
00:15:05,030 --> 00:15:06,900
Oh, God, Leslie.
585
00:15:05,030 --> 00:15:06,900
I don't even know.
586
00:15:06,970 --> 00:15:08,660
I think I just lost track
587
00:15:06,970 --> 00:15:08,660
of her in all the chaos.
588
00:15:08,740 --> 00:15:10,430
Anyway, so,
589
00:15:08,740 --> 00:15:10,430
now he and Marlene
590
00:15:10,510 --> 00:15:11,730
are off somewhere,
591
00:15:10,510 --> 00:15:11,730
doing God knows what.
592
00:15:12,910 --> 00:15:14,270
I don't wanna...
593
00:15:20,420 --> 00:15:22,850
You're suing me
594
00:15:20,420 --> 00:15:22,850
for alimony?
595
00:15:23,180 --> 00:15:24,240
Yes.
596
00:15:24,320 --> 00:15:27,290
When we were married,
597
00:15:24,320 --> 00:15:27,290
I got accustomed
598
00:15:24,320 --> 00:15:27,290
to a certain lifestyle.
599
00:15:27,360 --> 00:15:30,120
And I'm entitled to money
600
00:15:27,360 --> 00:15:30,120
to maintain that lifestyle.
601
00:15:30,190 --> 00:15:31,450
This is insane.
602
00:15:31,530 --> 00:15:33,550
Yeah, it's insane,
603
00:15:31,530 --> 00:15:33,550
but it's all I got.
604
00:15:33,630 --> 00:15:37,220
And you can make it
605
00:15:33,630 --> 00:15:37,220
all go away if you just
606
00:15:33,630 --> 00:15:37,220
gave me a chance.
607
00:15:37,300 --> 00:15:38,990
What?
608
00:15:37,300 --> 00:15:38,990
Three dates.
609
00:15:41,070 --> 00:15:42,470
One date.
610
00:15:43,810 --> 00:15:45,030
Coffee?
611
00:15:45,110 --> 00:15:47,600
So your plan
612
00:15:45,110 --> 00:15:47,600
was to sue me,
613
00:15:47,680 --> 00:15:50,980
and then to use that
614
00:15:47,680 --> 00:15:50,980
to blackmail me into
615
00:15:47,680 --> 00:15:50,980
falling in love with you.
616
00:15:52,850 --> 00:15:53,840
Yeah.
617
00:16:00,520 --> 00:16:02,680
Hey. You guys sound good.
618
00:16:03,520 --> 00:16:07,190
You really think so?
619
00:16:03,520 --> 00:16:07,190
It's impossible to tell.
620
00:16:07,260 --> 00:16:08,820
It's like Bizarro Land
621
00:16:07,260 --> 00:16:08,820
out there.
622
00:16:08,900 --> 00:16:10,960
As soon as
623
00:16:08,900 --> 00:16:10,960
we finish a song,
624
00:16:08,900 --> 00:16:10,960
it's dead silence.
625
00:16:11,030 --> 00:16:12,400
Well, what do you
626
00:16:11,030 --> 00:16:12,400
expect, you know.
627
00:16:12,470 --> 00:16:14,400
They're like
628
00:16:12,470 --> 00:16:14,400
a million years old.
629
00:16:14,840 --> 00:16:16,600
Well, I'm glad
630
00:16:14,840 --> 00:16:16,600
you like it.
631
00:16:16,670 --> 00:16:18,660
You were always
632
00:16:16,670 --> 00:16:18,660
a big supporter
633
00:16:16,670 --> 00:16:18,660
of the band.
634
00:16:18,740 --> 00:16:20,300
Hey.
635
00:16:18,740 --> 00:16:20,300
Break's over.
636
00:16:20,370 --> 00:16:22,310
Ludgate,
637
00:16:20,370 --> 00:16:22,310
cracking the whip.
638
00:16:22,540 --> 00:16:25,710
Yeah, well, these old bags
639
00:16:22,540 --> 00:16:25,710
paid for some entertainment.
640
00:16:25,780 --> 00:16:28,750
So get up there.
641
00:16:25,780 --> 00:16:28,750
No, you're right. Okay.
642
00:16:28,820 --> 00:16:31,010
Hey,
643
00:16:28,820 --> 00:16:31,010
you should play that song
644
00:16:28,820 --> 00:16:31,010
The Way You Look Tonight.
645
00:16:31,090 --> 00:16:32,110
Hmm.
646
00:16:32,190 --> 00:16:33,280
It's a good one.
647
00:16:33,350 --> 00:16:38,420
The next one's going out
648
00:16:33,350 --> 00:16:38,420
to a special little
649
00:16:33,350 --> 00:16:38,420
lady named April Ludgate.
650
00:16:41,000 --> 00:16:43,690
Someday
651
00:16:45,030 --> 00:16:47,830
When I'm all alone
652
00:16:48,800 --> 00:16:51,430
Are you guys... Never mind.
653
00:16:53,340 --> 00:16:55,210
Why do you care?
654
00:16:53,340 --> 00:16:55,210
I don't.
655
00:16:55,280 --> 00:16:59,580
Just thinking of you
656
00:16:59,650 --> 00:17:02,550
And the way you look tonight
657
00:17:02,620 --> 00:17:04,810
What about you?
658
00:17:02,620 --> 00:17:04,810
What do you do
659
00:17:02,620 --> 00:17:04,810
for a living?
660
00:17:06,390 --> 00:17:09,320
Well, it's been
661
00:17:06,390 --> 00:17:09,320
an interesting ride.
662
00:17:06,390 --> 00:17:09,320
Yeah?
663
00:17:09,390 --> 00:17:12,760
I got a job
664
00:17:09,390 --> 00:17:12,760
at a grocery store
665
00:17:09,390 --> 00:17:12,760
right out of college
666
00:17:12,830 --> 00:17:14,520
just for a way
667
00:17:12,830 --> 00:17:14,520
to make money.
668
00:17:15,560 --> 00:17:19,260
And here I am,
669
00:17:15,560 --> 00:17:19,260
40 years later,
670
00:17:15,560 --> 00:17:19,260
completely unemployed.
671
00:17:21,740 --> 00:17:22,970
Wow.
672
00:17:24,640 --> 00:17:28,370
What do you say
673
00:17:24,640 --> 00:17:28,370
we pick up
674
00:17:24,640 --> 00:17:28,370
where we left off?
675
00:17:29,780 --> 00:17:31,410
You're not serious, right?
676
00:17:31,480 --> 00:17:33,610
I'm serious
677
00:17:31,480 --> 00:17:33,610
as a heart attack.
678
00:17:33,680 --> 00:17:35,080
Of which I've had four.
679
00:17:37,450 --> 00:17:40,350
And the world is cold
680
00:17:41,190 --> 00:17:43,380
I will feel a glow
681
00:17:43,460 --> 00:17:46,890
Just thinking of you
682
00:17:48,460 --> 00:17:52,420
And the way you look tonight
683
00:17:57,940 --> 00:18:00,370
Hey, Mom, are you okay?
684
00:17:57,940 --> 00:18:00,370
Did Frank leave?
685
00:18:00,510 --> 00:18:02,670
Uh, yeah. He just
686
00:18:00,510 --> 00:18:02,670
stepped away for a second.
687
00:18:02,740 --> 00:18:04,140
I'm so sorry
688
00:18:02,740 --> 00:18:04,140
we brought him here.
689
00:18:04,210 --> 00:18:05,440
Oh, it's okay.
690
00:18:05,510 --> 00:18:07,310
It was very thoughtful,
691
00:18:05,510 --> 00:18:07,310
sweetheart.
692
00:18:07,380 --> 00:18:08,780
It's not your fault
693
00:18:07,380 --> 00:18:08,780
that he turned out to be...
694
00:18:09,950 --> 00:18:12,110
Excuse me. Hi.
695
00:18:09,950 --> 00:18:12,110
Excuse me, hi.
696
00:18:14,160 --> 00:18:16,420
My name is Frank Beckerson.
697
00:18:17,330 --> 00:18:18,420
Marlene,
698
00:18:19,030 --> 00:18:20,190
you
699
00:18:21,660 --> 00:18:22,790
blew it.
700
00:18:24,070 --> 00:18:30,630
Take one last look, Marlene,
701
00:18:24,070 --> 00:18:30,630
because you'll never
702
00:18:24,070 --> 00:18:30,630
see this body again.
703
00:18:32,870 --> 00:18:34,870
Marlene, what happened
704
00:18:32,870 --> 00:18:34,870
between you two?
705
00:18:34,940 --> 00:18:36,640
Tell me everything.
706
00:18:34,940 --> 00:18:36,640
I want every detail.
707
00:18:37,010 --> 00:18:39,670
Hey, we're almost done,
708
00:18:37,010 --> 00:18:39,670
so we can leave soon.
709
00:18:39,750 --> 00:18:42,680
Yes. I'll take you
710
00:18:39,750 --> 00:18:42,680
for an ice cream malted,
711
00:18:42,750 --> 00:18:45,020
and then we can go
712
00:18:42,750 --> 00:18:45,020
choose our caskets.
713
00:18:45,090 --> 00:18:46,550
God, why does
714
00:18:45,090 --> 00:18:46,550
everything we do
715
00:18:46,620 --> 00:18:48,890
have to be cloaked in,
716
00:18:46,620 --> 00:18:48,890
like, 15 layers of irony?
717
00:18:49,720 --> 00:18:51,590
Here's something un-ironic.
718
00:18:51,660 --> 00:18:53,150
Ever since you've been
719
00:18:51,660 --> 00:18:53,150
hanging out
720
00:18:51,660 --> 00:18:53,150
with that meathead,
721
00:18:53,230 --> 00:18:55,360
you've become
722
00:18:53,230 --> 00:18:55,360
completely lame.
723
00:18:56,160 --> 00:18:57,790
You know what?
724
00:18:56,160 --> 00:18:57,790
We're breaking up.
725
00:18:59,100 --> 00:19:01,800
Fine, then you can't
726
00:18:59,100 --> 00:19:01,800
make out with me
727
00:18:59,100 --> 00:19:01,800
when you're drunk anymore.
728
00:19:01,870 --> 00:19:04,070
Fine, then I'll make
729
00:19:01,870 --> 00:19:04,070
out with Ben.
730
00:19:01,870 --> 00:19:04,070
Pass.
731
00:19:04,140 --> 00:19:05,500
No, he's my boyfriend.
732
00:19:05,570 --> 00:19:07,600
You can either
733
00:19:05,570 --> 00:19:07,600
make out with both
734
00:19:05,570 --> 00:19:07,600
of us or none of us.
735
00:19:07,680 --> 00:19:09,640
Fine, none of you.
736
00:19:07,680 --> 00:19:09,640
Fine.
737
00:19:12,980 --> 00:19:15,920
I've got you
738
00:19:16,480 --> 00:19:17,950
Under my skin
739
00:19:23,990 --> 00:19:25,690
Everything okay, Knope?
740
00:19:26,090 --> 00:19:30,430
My boyfriend is
741
00:19:26,090 --> 00:19:30,430
a lawyer, and he's smart
742
00:19:26,090 --> 00:19:30,430
and interesting,
743
00:19:30,500 --> 00:19:32,690
and there's a lot of
744
00:19:30,500 --> 00:19:32,690
things about him I like.
745
00:19:32,770 --> 00:19:34,900
But he acted like
746
00:19:32,770 --> 00:19:34,900
a real jerk today.
747
00:19:35,840 --> 00:19:38,200
I don't know. There's
748
00:19:35,840 --> 00:19:38,200
something about the way
749
00:19:38,270 --> 00:19:40,710
he treats people
750
00:19:38,270 --> 00:19:40,710
or something.
751
00:19:41,380 --> 00:19:42,740
He's a tourist.
752
00:19:43,310 --> 00:19:46,710
He vacations
753
00:19:43,310 --> 00:19:46,710
in people's lives,
754
00:19:43,310 --> 00:19:46,710
takes pictures,
755
00:19:46,780 --> 00:19:49,250
puts them in his scrapbook,
756
00:19:46,780 --> 00:19:49,250
and moves on.
757
00:19:49,320 --> 00:19:51,810
All he's interested in
758
00:19:49,320 --> 00:19:51,810
are stories.
759
00:19:52,750 --> 00:19:53,740
Huh.
760
00:19:54,920 --> 00:19:57,720
Basically, Leslie,
761
00:19:54,920 --> 00:19:57,720
he's selfish.
762
00:19:58,630 --> 00:20:01,790
And you're not.
763
00:19:58,630 --> 00:20:01,790
And that's why
764
00:19:58,630 --> 00:20:01,790
you don't like him.
765
00:20:04,030 --> 00:20:06,690
I told you so.
766
00:20:04,030 --> 00:20:06,690
It's Duke Silver.
767
00:20:07,500 --> 00:20:10,960
Duke, can I have
768
00:20:07,500 --> 00:20:10,960
your autograph?
769
00:20:07,500 --> 00:20:10,960
I love your music.
770
00:20:11,970 --> 00:20:14,530
You're mistaken, ladies.
771
00:20:11,970 --> 00:20:14,530
Move along.
772
00:20:14,610 --> 00:20:19,240
I got you
773
00:20:14,610 --> 00:20:19,240
under my skin
774
00:20:22,180 --> 00:20:23,620
Yeah. Go Mouse Rat.
775
00:20:27,190 --> 00:20:29,120
I thought you were
776
00:20:27,190 --> 00:20:29,120
just terrific.
777
00:20:29,190 --> 00:20:30,210
Seriously?
778
00:20:30,290 --> 00:20:31,920
You sound like Dean Martin.
779
00:20:32,790 --> 00:20:35,320
If I were 50
780
00:20:32,790 --> 00:20:35,320
years younger...
781
00:20:36,500 --> 00:20:40,130
What?
782
00:20:36,500 --> 00:20:40,130
Wait. Who's Dean Martin?
783
00:20:40,200 --> 00:20:44,160
If I'm not mistaken,
784
00:20:40,200 --> 00:20:44,160
that was the old-lady
785
00:20:40,200 --> 00:20:44,160
version of flashing.
786
00:20:44,240 --> 00:20:45,430
Nailed the gig.
787
00:20:47,810 --> 00:20:51,370
Look, it's sad, I know.
788
00:20:47,810 --> 00:20:51,370
But we'll still be friends.
789
00:20:52,010 --> 00:20:53,780
We're gonna see
790
00:20:52,010 --> 00:20:53,780
each other all the time.
791
00:20:53,850 --> 00:20:55,840
I come into town,
792
00:20:53,850 --> 00:20:55,840
like, every other weekend.
793
00:20:55,920 --> 00:20:58,910
No. You guys can't break up.
794
00:20:55,920 --> 00:20:58,910
We can fix this.
795
00:20:55,920 --> 00:20:58,910
Let me talk to Leslie.
796
00:20:58,990 --> 00:21:01,390
Tom, it's over.
797
00:20:58,990 --> 00:21:01,390
She doesn't wanna
798
00:20:58,990 --> 00:21:01,390
see me anymore.
799
00:21:01,460 --> 00:21:02,860
Is it my fault?
800
00:21:01,460 --> 00:21:02,860
Did I do something wrong?
801
00:21:02,920 --> 00:21:03,950
No.
802
00:21:04,490 --> 00:21:06,690
Seriously, this has
803
00:21:04,490 --> 00:21:06,690
nothing to do with you.
804
00:21:07,290 --> 00:21:08,560
Can we still go
805
00:21:07,290 --> 00:21:08,560
suit shopping?
806
00:21:08,630 --> 00:21:09,860
Of course.
807
00:21:09,930 --> 00:21:12,230
Armani's having a sale
808
00:21:09,930 --> 00:21:12,230
right now.
809
00:21:12,400 --> 00:21:13,890
I'm gonna get you
810
00:21:12,400 --> 00:21:13,890
a pocket square.
811
00:21:14,300 --> 00:21:15,700
All right.
43427
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