Original subtitles

"Blue Canvas of Youthful Days"

(Episode 9: The Protector's Projection)

It used to be okay to do this.

But now, for our Xiao Tan,

it's just too unfair.

So,

don't come looking for me anymore.

I could be your younger brother.

Your younger brother.

I'm very happy.

Why are you so happy?

I...

That thing I was struggling

with a few days ago.

About that girl.

Geez, what girl?

Anyway,

I finally took that step.

Well...

Congratulations.

Why that face?

Weren't you out with Lao Liu?

He said,

I remind him of his deceased brother.

I told him,

I'm fine with being like

a younger brother to him.

Why did he...

do this?

I suggested it.

You also think

he only cares for me as a brother?

But what does he think?

Maybe he just needs more time.

To sort himself out.

What's there to sort out?

Love isn't something

that needs organizing.

Life between two people

will always have surprises.

There won't be any changes in life?

It's just self-deception.

One day,

he'll figure it out.

Actually, I have an idea.

Something that might push Lao Liu a bit.

Do you want to try?

Xiao Lu.

Mom.

You're back?

Let's find a place to sit,

alright?

I thought

you wouldn't come back again.

I promised you,

I'd take you with me when I left.

Did you ever consider,

before you came back,

that he might've beaten me to death?

Xiao Lu.

I've already come to terms

with being abandoned by you,

tossed aside to him.

What's the point of showing up now?

Those first few years after I left,

life was hard.

I couldn't even afford

a plane ticket back.

Later, I signed with a gallery.

Things got better little by little.

I thought,

I should save up and

and have a place to live,

I could bring you over.

Are you still drawing?

I know you've been learning art

all this time.

If you like it,

I could take you abroad with me.

We could apply for schools,

so you could leave him sooner.

I don't like drawing.

Not at all.

I don't have your talent,

nor am I like Dad, who sees fame

and fortune in it.

Is there anything you do like doing?

I could help you with that.

I'll need to think about it.

Senior Sister.

Come in, come in.

Wait a moment,

I'll make you some coffee.

Here.

Thanks.

Alright.

I'm here today to bring you this.

Professor Guo's solo exhibition.

He's missed you a lot over the years.

At several reunions,

he didn't get to see you.

This is his first solo exhibition

in 10 years.

You must come.

Sure,

I'll definitely be there.

Excuse me, do you know Qi Lu?

We were supposed to meet today,

but my phone died,

and I can't reach him.

If I see him, I'll let him know.

Thanks, student.

Just tell him his brother

is looking for him.

Alright.

Who are you? Why are you

looking for Qi Lu?

We're, well...

online friends.

You're Qin Xiao, aren't you?

How do you know that?

Like I said, we're friends online.

Good online friends, actually.

Of course I know you.

What? He's never told you

about his friends online?

Friends... well,

It's not like you have to always say

whether your friends are

important or not.

You can call me Lao Bai.

I'm probably a few years older than you guys.

Just graduated last year.

Got it. I'll pass the message.

It's been three years,

and this is your first new piece, huh?

Just a little trinket I threw together.

Is this Kollwitz's print?

Yes.

A mother cradling her lost child,

shielding the child with her body.

In your work,

are you portraying yourself

as the protector?

When I first saw that piece,

I felt an emotional connection.

There's a story about Kollwitz.

Her eldest son,

sacrifice on the front lines of war.

While creating the image of a

mother mourning her lost child,

she sketched herself in the mirror,

holding her youngest son.

The mother-and-child reflection

in the mirror

often made her see her youngest

as if he were her lost eldest son.

During the creative process,

she would often cry in grief.

Her youngest son would

wipe away her tears,

telling her not to weep.

Sadly,

when her youngest son grew up,

he too was lost in the war.

In your new work,

the one being protected...

Is Yangyang.

Yangyang. But...

Ah!

Sorry! Sorry!

No, it's fine.

It's fine. It's fine.

That was...

A friend.

- Aren't you going to go after him? - No need.

I met Yangyang once back in the day.

Don't you think

in your work,

the protected figure

looks less like Yangyang

and more like that boy who just left?

Is he your model?

Like...

Like him?

I hadn't noticed.

Those attending today's self-study

session should practice more sketches.

Take turns being each other's models.

Teacher Liu will be checking

them tomorrow.

Are you going to try that method?

No idea.

I just left his place.

I'll call now.

Stop nagging.

Hello.

Lao Liu, it's me.

Qin Xiao?

What's going on with you and Tan Yin?

What happened to him?

Why did he say he's leaving?

I just got home and saw him with

his suitcase, saying he's leaving.

Did he mention where he's going?

I have no idea.

Don't worry about it. I'll go find him.

Where are you hiding?

Don't you know how worried Lao Liu is?

I went to a place

where he would definitely find me.

Are you upset about that photo?

I can take care of you,

like a brother taking care

of his younger sibling.

(Teacher Liu, you have to eat on time)

Don't you think in your work,

the protected figure

looks less like Yangyang and

more like that boy who just left?

You mean

Xiao Tan?

Is he your model?

Like him?

I hadn't noticed.

There's a story about Kollwitz.

Her eldest son,

sacrifice on the front lines of war.

While creating the image of a

mother mourning her lost child,

she sketched herself in the mirror,

holding her youngest son.

The mother-and-child reflection

in the mirror

often made her see her youngest

as if he were her lost eldest son.

Would finding a boy who

looks exactly like Yangyang

make up for it?

Your brother is dead.

Sadly,

when her youngest son grew up,

he too was lost in the war.

Seeing the youngest

as the lost eldest...

The protected one...

is Yangyang.

Like him?

So, you're here for a documentary?

Want to collaborate?

Oh right, you've got your art exam prep.

Probably no time.

Actually, there's something

I need to tell you.

I might have a chance to study abroad,

away from my dad.

That's great!

My mom came back.

She said

I could go abroad to study filmmaking.

What's there to hesitate about?

Go!

You've loved

filmmaking for so long.

If you have the chance,

why not take it?

Because of Qin Xiao?

If I go,

I might not see him for a long time.

And he's still preparing for his exams.

You're assuming things for him again.

How do you know

he wouldn't be happy for you,

knowing you've found something you love?

You haven't even told him about it.

It's me who would miss him.

Huajing Art university

has an exchange program every year

with CalArts in the U.S.

That school

also has one of the top-ranked

film programs in the world.

If he gets into Huajing this year,

you'd only be apart for one year.

Then at the same school,

you could both study your passions.

Sounds tough.

Tougher than spending so many years

doing things you hate?

Alright, think about it yourself.

I need to meet the subject

of my documentary.

Be careful.

Sounds dangerous.

No worries. Worst case,

I'll call the police.

Good will prevail. See you.

Why are you here at lunch break?

Came to pick you up.

Boyfriend.

Don't make me smack you.

Why haven't you been coming

to the studio again?

Even Lao Liu hasn't said anything about you.

I took the morning off.

Went to meet a teacher.

Don't tell me it's teacher Bai?

What weird things are you saying?

I saw it all.

Jealous?

How bad.

I really just went to see a teacher.

Then I bumped into Senior Bai

on my way back.

When I was courting you,

it was his idea.

I don't think the ideas were that great.

Not sure what he was thinking.

How can you still be so jealous at 20?

Come here.

Umm.. Xiao Rui!

- Umm... We... - I didn't see anything.

Umm...

Forget it.

Even if I did see,

I wouldn't tell anyone.

- Sorry. - Huh?

Didn't intentionally hide it from you.

I know, don't worry.

Just because I like you doesn't mean I

want to ruin things between you two.

I'm not some evil supporting actress.

I'll head out now.

- Bye-bye. - Bye-bye.

Bye-bye.

It's all sorted.

Xiao Rui's a good person.

She won't say anything.

I actually thought you two

might end up together.

Why?

I saw her bring you bubble tea.

And...

You two hugged.

So, that's why you avoided coming

to the studio for a while?

Yeah.

Qin Xiao.

Here, take this.

Consider it a reward for

keeping my secret.

Come on,

take it, or I won't feel at ease.

Alright then.

You...

Do you have time this weekend

for some sketching together?

Nah,

Qi Lu is busy.

Ask Turtle to keep you company instead.

Why are you purposely avoiding me?

Actually,

being liked and appreciated...

It's a happy thing.

But right now, I just want to

focus on my exams.

I don't know if saying this...

Would...

It won't.

Then, how about a hug?

As a symbol of the start

of our friendship.

Try to find Lao Liu soon.

He'll think of a way to help you.

Qi Lu,

You like to say that I make you feel uncomfortable.

But have you noticed?

Who's the one who never speaks clearly?

- Huh? - Then...

How about I confess something

to you when we get back?

Yeah.

Let's go.

Studying film?

Actually, back in school,

I joined the film club.

That's also how I met Senior Bai.

But,

later, my dad found out.

I didn't get a chance to continue.

So Senior Bai was the only one who knew?

Come on, can't you speak nicely?

Go for it, Qi Lu.

My mom said...

It requires one year.

Just one year where

we can't see each other.

But after that,

we'll be able to do what we love.

Like you said,

We should do what we love.

Love who we want to love.

Brother Xiao, what do you want

to be in the future?

Be a human.

Be serious.

What career do you want?

Where do you want to live in the future?

Haven't I told you before?

I want to teach kids how to draw.

After I finish university,

I'll become a teacher.

In my free time, I can still

do my own drawings.

Then I'll just...

be a director.

Wouldn't you need to

travel around a lot?

Nope.

I'll shoot films in my hometown.

After wrapping up for the day,

I'll come pick you up from work.

On weekends, we can go

for walks together.

Like today,

strolling by Heihu Spring.

When we're tired from walking,

we'll grab some late-night snacks.

Just eating and playing?

Isn't a happy life just

eating and playing?

Go get ready.

For what?

Studying abroad.

Learning the language,

preparing your portfolio.

It's all pretty busy, right?

It won't be in time for the

university entrance exam.

Actually, I'd like to help with

Lao Bai's documentary, too.

What's he shooting?

He said he knows

someone in an urban village

who makes fake diet pills.

Seems like Lao Bai has some

interesting ideas.

Fake diet pills?

What's wrong?

Sounds kinda dangerous.

Maybe you shouldn't go.

Geez. It's fine.

It's not like I'm going undercover.

Don't worry, it'll be okay.

Has Lao Liu found you yet?

Where are you going?

None of your business.

Why are you leaving?

Didn't you promise to be

my little brother?

Why are you leaving

without saying a word?

Do you know how worried I was?

There are too many people that

you need to care about.

That was my senior.

She came to deliver an invitation

from the professor.

When you arrived, she had accidentally

spilled coffee on me.

I'm not jealous.

Yes,

I know you're not jealous.

I just thought it was necessary

to explain it clearly.

And I want to turn this explanation

into an opportunity to confess to you.

Let's go.

Come home with me.

I want to show you something.

This relief sculpture

was adapted from this painting.

The image shows a mother

protecting her child.

Initially, I wanted to create

the image of a protector.

Me protecting Yangyang.

But later...

Perhaps unconsciously...

That image slowly turned into you.

Xiao Tan,

I'm not sure if it's too late

to say this now.

Or if it seems insincere.

That night, when I was drunk...

I knew it was you the whole time.

You took off your hearing aid

and couldn't hear what I said.

Later, I realized you misunderstood me,

but I didn't have the courage to

face the fact that I liked you.

So I just went along with the lie.

But now that

you've sorted yourself out...

I don't know what would

be considered sorted myself out.

But today, when I heard you were leaving

I was really scared.

I can't imagine a life without you.

So, Xiao Tan...

Give me another chance to be brave.

Please?

If you say it like this...

I'll take it seriously.

In the future, you will not be

snatched away by others.

Let's make it official.

Okay.

Today, I realized

I can't just be your little brother.

Seeing others by your side...

Makes me unhappy.

Look.

This is my signature.

Leave your mark beside it.

What are you doing?

Looking for relatives.

Been wandering around,

can't find the place.

Is Xiao Jiande here?

There isn't, now scram.

Go find out who these two are.

Where are they?

Where they live.

Got it.

Understood.