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(train chugging)
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(train whistle blows)
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00:00:09,513 --> 00:00:12,914
ADULT SHELDON:I've always loved trains.
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00:00:12,916 --> 00:00:16,017
In fact, if my career
5
00:00:16,019 --> 00:00:19,454
in theoretical physics hadn't
worked out, my backup plan
6
00:00:19,456 --> 00:00:21,890
was to become a
professional ticket taker.
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00:00:21,892 --> 00:00:23,258
Or hobo.
8
00:00:23,260 --> 00:00:25,460
(train whistle blows)
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00:00:26,430 --> 00:00:29,264
(♪♪♪)
10
00:00:29,266 --> 00:00:33,602
And when I figured out
that trains allowed me
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00:00:33,604 --> 00:00:35,604
to prove
Newton's first law...
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00:00:35,606 --> 00:00:38,070
An object in motion
stays in motion
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00:00:38,073 --> 00:00:40,441
with the same speed and
in the same direction
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00:00:40,444 --> 00:00:43,297
unless acted upon by
an unbalanced force...
15
00:00:43,300 --> 00:00:46,381
I felt like
Neil Armstrong on the moon,
16
00:00:46,383 --> 00:00:48,416
alone and happy.
17
00:00:48,418 --> 00:00:50,024
MARY: Shelly, dinner's ready!
18
00:00:50,027 --> 00:00:52,230
♪ Be-bop-a-lula, baby, what I say ♪
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00:00:52,233 --> 00:00:55,332
(giggles)I don't care
how dimwitted you are.
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00:00:55,335 --> 00:00:58,360
Scientific principles
have to make you smile.
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00:00:58,362 --> 00:01:01,157
Of course, nobody
I knew in East Texas
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00:01:01,160 --> 00:01:05,133
in 1989 cared about
Newtonian physics.
23
00:01:05,135 --> 00:01:07,057
The only Newtons
they cared about
24
00:01:07,060 --> 00:01:08,593
were Wayne and Fig.
25
00:01:08,596 --> 00:01:10,405
MISSY: Sheldon, if you don't get in here,
26
00:01:10,407 --> 00:01:12,841
- I'm gonna lick your toothbrush!
- Coming!
27
00:01:12,843 --> 00:01:14,342
That's my sister.
28
00:01:14,344 --> 00:01:16,523
And she's done it before.
29
00:01:16,526 --> 00:01:18,680
♪ Do the walk of life ♪
30
00:01:18,682 --> 00:01:20,291
♪ Yeah, he do the walk of life. ♪
31
00:01:20,294 --> 00:01:21,520
The hell were you doing
32
00:01:21,522 --> 00:01:22,802
- out there?
- George,
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00:01:22,805 --> 00:01:23,756
language.
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00:01:23,758 --> 00:01:25,194
What language? So?
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00:01:25,197 --> 00:01:27,663
I was exploring
dimensional kinematics.
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00:01:27,666 --> 00:01:29,128
Admit it... He's adopted.
37
00:01:29,130 --> 00:01:30,552
SHELDON: How can I be adopted
38
00:01:30,555 --> 00:01:31,955
when I have a twin sister?
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00:01:31,958 --> 00:01:33,799
Think, monkey, think.
40
00:01:33,801 --> 00:01:34,802
MARY: That's enough.
41
00:01:34,805 --> 00:01:35,804
No one's adopted.
42
00:01:35,807 --> 00:01:36,706
I wish I was.
43
00:01:36,709 --> 00:01:38,203
That can still be arranged.
44
00:01:38,205 --> 00:01:39,591
Now, let's pray.
45
00:01:39,594 --> 00:01:41,177
A moment, please.
46
00:01:42,943 --> 00:01:43,876
(sighs)
47
00:01:43,878 --> 00:01:45,567
- Leave him be.
- He can hold hands
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00:01:45,570 --> 00:01:47,136
with his family.
It won't kill him.
49
00:01:47,139 --> 00:01:48,639
We don't know that.
50
00:01:48,642 --> 00:01:50,783
Georgie, did you wash
your hands before dinner?
51
00:01:50,785 --> 00:01:52,254
Or even this week?
52
00:01:52,257 --> 00:01:53,483
None of your business.
53
00:01:53,486 --> 00:01:54,944
Hence the mittens.
54
00:01:56,277 --> 00:01:58,444
MARY: Thank you, God, for this food
55
00:01:58,447 --> 00:02:00,944
we're about to receive and for
the nourishment of our bodies,
56
00:02:00,947 --> 00:02:02,671
and bless the hands
that prepared it.
57
00:02:02,674 --> 00:02:03,929
ALL: Amen.
58
00:02:05,368 --> 00:02:07,812
How come we ain't
got no tater tots?
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00:02:07,815 --> 00:02:09,371
I made tater tots last night.
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00:02:09,374 --> 00:02:10,707
GEORGE: I'd take tater tots
61
00:02:10,710 --> 00:02:12,327
over mashed potaters any day.
62
00:02:12,330 --> 00:02:14,238
- Just eat what I made you.
- Can we at least
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00:02:14,241 --> 00:02:15,541
have tater tots tomorrow?
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00:02:15,543 --> 00:02:17,465
ADULT SHELDON:It was
family dinners like this
65
00:02:17,468 --> 00:02:20,531
that led me to adopt
a mid-Atlantic accent.
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00:02:20,534 --> 00:02:22,256
Nobel Prize winners...
67
00:02:22,259 --> 00:02:24,359
(Southern accent)ought not
be orderin' tater tots.
68
00:02:24,362 --> 00:02:26,328
Everybody excited to
start school Monday?
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00:02:26,331 --> 00:02:27,186
I am.
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00:02:27,188 --> 00:02:28,854
I guess so.
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00:02:28,856 --> 00:02:30,189
MARY: Georgie?
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00:02:30,191 --> 00:02:31,919
Freshman year,
that's a big deal.
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00:02:31,922 --> 00:02:33,559
How can I be excited
when he's gonna be
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00:02:33,562 --> 00:02:34,856
in the same grade as me?
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00:02:34,859 --> 00:02:36,510
SHELDON: Don't worry,
Georgie, I'm not planning
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00:02:36,512 --> 00:02:38,892
on being in the ninth
grade for very long.
77
00:02:38,894 --> 00:02:41,395
All I know is he's not in
the same grade as me anymore,
78
00:02:41,397 --> 00:02:42,663
and I'm thrilled.
79
00:02:42,665 --> 00:02:44,622
Good luck with
your finger painting.
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00:02:44,625 --> 00:02:46,572
You're gonna get your
ass kicked in high school.
81
00:02:46,575 --> 00:02:48,099
MARY: Hey, language.
82
00:02:48,102 --> 00:02:49,536
I'm not going to be assaulted.
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00:02:49,539 --> 00:02:51,602
High school is a haven
for higher learning.
84
00:02:51,605 --> 00:02:52,938
Oh, dear God.
85
00:02:52,941 --> 00:02:54,941
Speaking of God,
who's going to church
86
00:02:54,943 --> 00:02:56,639
- with me tomorrow?
- GEORGE SR.: I can't.
87
00:02:56,642 --> 00:02:58,259
I'm meeting with
the other coaches.
88
00:02:58,262 --> 00:02:59,528
You can't meet
after church?
89
00:02:59,531 --> 00:03:01,416
No, Mary, I can't
meet after church.
90
00:03:02,818 --> 00:03:04,150
Georgie?
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00:03:04,153 --> 00:03:06,953
I got to study
my playbook.
92
00:03:09,091 --> 00:03:11,058
I'll go with you, Mom.
93
00:03:11,060 --> 00:03:12,426
MISSY: Why are you going?
94
00:03:12,428 --> 00:03:14,177
- You don't believe in God.
- No,
95
00:03:14,180 --> 00:03:15,692
but I believe in Mom.
96
00:03:15,695 --> 00:03:17,297
I'll take it. Missy?
97
00:03:17,299 --> 00:03:18,699
Can't, Heather asked me to...
98
00:03:18,701 --> 00:03:21,335
- You're goin'.
- Son of a bitch.
99
00:03:21,337 --> 00:03:22,536
- Hey.
- Ow!
100
00:03:22,538 --> 00:03:23,537
(laughs)
101
00:03:24,404 --> 00:03:26,104
MARY: Missy... (gasps) Don't you
102
00:03:26,107 --> 00:03:28,842
throw something at the
dinner table. George Jr.
103
00:03:28,844 --> 00:03:32,072
ADULT SHELDON:Jane Goodall had
to go to Africa to study apes.
104
00:03:32,075 --> 00:03:33,207
MISSY: Hey!
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00:03:33,210 --> 00:03:35,182
I just had to
go to dinner.
106
00:03:35,184 --> 00:03:37,468
Never at the dinner table!
107
00:03:37,471 --> 00:03:39,070
You knock that off, George!
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00:03:39,073 --> 00:03:41,187
D-Do not retaliate!
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00:03:41,190 --> 00:03:45,258
ALL:♪ Onward, Christian soldiers ♪
110
00:03:45,260 --> 00:03:49,663
♪ Marching as to war ♪
111
00:03:49,665 --> 00:03:54,501
♪ With the cross of Jesus ♪
112
00:03:54,503 --> 00:04:00,607
♪ Going on before. ♪
113
00:04:00,609 --> 00:04:04,144
In Matthew nine, verse four,
Jesus said,
114
00:04:04,146 --> 00:04:08,415
"Why would you entertain
evil thoughts in your hearts?"
115
00:04:08,417 --> 00:04:10,684
- (quietly) Do you have evil thoughts?
- Shh.
116
00:04:10,686 --> 00:04:12,799
I just don't think
this part applies to me.
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00:04:12,802 --> 00:04:15,287
That's fine.
Be quiet and listen.
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00:04:15,290 --> 00:04:17,221
I'm only nine years old.
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00:04:17,224 --> 00:04:19,257
Most evil doesn't
start till puberty.
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00:04:19,260 --> 00:04:20,394
(clears throat)
121
00:04:20,396 --> 00:04:21,705
Hello.
122
00:04:21,708 --> 00:04:23,872
Philippians 4:8,
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00:04:23,875 --> 00:04:26,032
"Finally, brothers, whatever is..."
124
00:04:26,034 --> 00:04:27,734
Do you have evil thoughts?
125
00:04:27,736 --> 00:04:29,169
I'm having one right now.
126
00:04:29,171 --> 00:04:30,382
Really? What is it?
127
00:04:30,385 --> 00:04:33,106
When we get home, I'm gonna
kick your little balls.
128
00:04:33,108 --> 00:04:36,610
You can't.
They haven't descended yet.
129
00:04:36,612 --> 00:04:38,945
- Mom?
- What?
130
00:04:38,947 --> 00:04:41,348
When should I be
expecting my testicles?
131
00:04:41,350 --> 00:04:42,582
"...whatever is admirable..."
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00:04:42,584 --> 00:04:44,722
What is wrong with him?
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00:04:44,725 --> 00:04:46,440
Nothin' is wrong with him.
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00:04:46,443 --> 00:04:48,867
Now, turn around before
I knock your lights out.
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00:04:48,870 --> 00:04:51,820
PASTOR: think continually
on these things.
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00:04:51,823 --> 00:04:53,231
A good thought leads
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00:04:53,234 --> 00:04:54,727
to a good thing.
138
00:04:54,730 --> 00:04:56,825
You feel it in your body.
You feel it in your...
139
00:04:56,828 --> 00:04:59,141
ADULT SHELDON:My mom
was my Christian soldier.
140
00:04:59,144 --> 00:05:01,501
Leads to evil things
and sits there and...
141
00:05:01,503 --> 00:05:04,588
And for the record, they
descended when I was 15.
142
00:05:11,031 --> 00:05:14,657
(whirring)
143
00:05:14,659 --> 00:05:17,426
(♪♪♪)
144
00:05:17,428 --> 00:05:20,930
Shelly, it's your last day of
summer. Go out and enjoy it.
145
00:05:20,932 --> 00:05:23,098
But I have to learn
the student handbook.
146
00:05:23,100 --> 00:05:25,367
Ooh, did you know extreme hairstyles,
147
00:05:25,369 --> 00:05:27,711
goatees and mustaches are not allowed?
148
00:05:27,714 --> 00:05:30,586
I didn't. I personally
find that very reassuring.
149
00:05:30,589 --> 00:05:32,805
Look what a beautiful day it is.
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00:05:34,779 --> 00:05:36,378
(loud whirring)
151
00:05:36,380 --> 00:05:39,281
(tires screeching)
152
00:05:40,751 --> 00:05:43,552
(deep barking)
153
00:05:45,523 --> 00:05:47,310
Go play.
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00:05:47,313 --> 00:05:50,893
"Go play"... if only
life were that simple.
155
00:05:56,601 --> 00:05:58,596
There, I played.
156
00:05:58,599 --> 00:06:00,035
Hey, Sheldon!
157
00:06:00,037 --> 00:06:01,760
Hello, Billy Sparks.
158
00:06:01,763 --> 00:06:04,306
- Hello, Matilda Sparks.
- I heard
159
00:06:04,308 --> 00:06:06,609
- you're going to high school tomorrow.
- I am.
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00:06:06,611 --> 00:06:08,510
You're going to have
to find someone else
161
00:06:08,512 --> 00:06:10,179
to torment on the playground.
162
00:06:10,181 --> 00:06:12,281
"Torment"?
163
00:06:12,283 --> 00:06:14,383
(sighs) It means to
maliciously harass.
164
00:06:14,385 --> 00:06:16,085
"Her ass"? (chuckles)
165
00:06:16,087 --> 00:06:17,553
That's funny.
166
00:06:17,555 --> 00:06:19,060
Well, this was nice.
167
00:06:19,063 --> 00:06:20,623
Hey, doofus!
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00:06:21,259 --> 00:06:22,338
(squawks)
169
00:06:22,341 --> 00:06:23,659
Mom!
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00:06:23,661 --> 00:06:27,129
- Good girl.
- Mom!
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00:06:27,131 --> 00:06:29,711
MARY: What am I supposed
to do? His feet are growing.
172
00:06:29,714 --> 00:06:31,567
GEORGE SR.: Why can't he
wear Georgie's old shoes?
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00:06:31,569 --> 00:06:32,768
MARY: He won't hold your hand.
174
00:06:32,770 --> 00:06:34,129
You think he's gonna put his feet
175
00:06:34,132 --> 00:06:35,365
in his brother's smelly shoes?
176
00:06:35,368 --> 00:06:37,142
GEORGE SR.: Well, we damn
well better cut back somewhere.
177
00:06:37,144 --> 00:06:39,001
MARY: Will you please
keep your voice down?
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00:06:39,004 --> 00:06:40,042
(door shuts)
179
00:06:40,044 --> 00:06:42,057
They're fighting about you again.
180
00:06:42,060 --> 00:06:44,175
They're fighting about money.
181
00:06:44,178 --> 00:06:46,949
It's a common argument in marriages.
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00:06:46,951 --> 00:06:48,584
(door opens)
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00:06:48,586 --> 00:06:50,252
Lights out.
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00:06:50,254 --> 00:06:51,798
Big day tomorrow.
185
00:06:52,957 --> 00:06:54,156
Mom?
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00:06:54,158 --> 00:06:55,424
Hmm?
187
00:06:55,426 --> 00:06:57,726
Do we have financial problems?
188
00:06:57,728 --> 00:07:00,396
Don't you worry about that.
189
00:07:00,398 --> 00:07:01,897
We are fine.
190
00:07:01,899 --> 00:07:04,366
Now, go to sleep.
191
00:07:04,368 --> 00:07:05,709
(sighs)
192
00:07:05,712 --> 00:07:08,637
She's lying. She just said
that to make you feel better.
193
00:07:08,639 --> 00:07:11,006
Mom doesn't lie.
194
00:07:11,008 --> 00:07:12,608
Sure, she thinks
195
00:07:12,610 --> 00:07:14,343
the Earth was made in six days,
196
00:07:14,345 --> 00:07:16,855
but that's 'cause she's
gullible, not a liar.
197
00:07:20,351 --> 00:07:22,351
MISSY:Mom,
198
00:07:22,353 --> 00:07:24,553
Sheldon can't find his bowtie.
199
00:07:24,555 --> 00:07:27,066
Really? I laid it out for him.
200
00:07:27,069 --> 00:07:29,321
Leave it alone, Mary.
He doesn't need a bowtie.
201
00:07:29,324 --> 00:07:31,924
It's his first day of school.
Let him wear what he wants.
202
00:07:31,927 --> 00:07:34,584
SHELDON: Mom, I can't find my bowtie!
203
00:07:34,587 --> 00:07:36,999
Dear Lord, why's he
got to wear a bowtie?
204
00:07:38,069 --> 00:07:39,468
Can I drive in with you?
205
00:07:39,470 --> 00:07:40,856
Sure.
206
00:07:40,859 --> 00:07:43,037
Everybody's gonna
know he's your brother.
207
00:07:43,040 --> 00:07:44,540
It's gonna be awful for you.
208
00:07:44,542 --> 00:07:45,841
Tell her to shut up.
209
00:07:45,843 --> 00:07:47,543
She's not wrong.
210
00:07:47,545 --> 00:07:49,244
(TV plays quietly)
211
00:07:49,246 --> 00:07:51,113
- It's got to be here.
- SHELDON: It's not.
212
00:07:51,115 --> 00:07:53,982
- It's not!
Shelly, stay calm. We'll find it.
213
00:07:53,984 --> 00:07:56,284
- My tie is gone! My tie is gone!
- Shelly,
214
00:07:56,287 --> 00:07:57,620
you don't really need a tie.
215
00:07:57,623 --> 00:08:00,828
I have to find my tie.
I have to find my tie.
216
00:08:00,831 --> 00:08:02,303
Be right back.
217
00:08:02,306 --> 00:08:05,526
Professor Proton wears a bowtie!
218
00:08:05,529 --> 00:08:07,514
George Junior,
219
00:08:07,517 --> 00:08:10,393
- give me back that bowtie right now!
- I didn't take it!
220
00:08:10,396 --> 00:08:13,271
- Don't you lie to me!
- I'm not lying!
221
00:08:13,274 --> 00:08:16,672
- We'll see about that.
- Stay out of my room!
222
00:08:16,674 --> 00:08:18,440
She's gonna find
your dirty magazines.
223
00:08:18,442 --> 00:08:19,808
Shut up!
224
00:08:19,810 --> 00:08:21,814
You are not having a good day.
225
00:08:21,817 --> 00:08:23,142
(sighs)
226
00:08:26,450 --> 00:08:28,951
(sighs)
227
00:08:30,254 --> 00:08:31,587
Ugh!
228
00:08:31,589 --> 00:08:33,522
(sighs)
229
00:08:33,524 --> 00:08:35,824
Hey. Hey, he didn't take it.
230
00:08:35,826 --> 00:08:38,193
- Then what happened to it?!
- SHELDON: Help me find my bowtie!
231
00:08:38,195 --> 00:08:40,229
I'll check in the bathroom!
232
00:08:40,231 --> 00:08:41,663
I took it.
233
00:08:41,665 --> 00:08:43,966
- Why would you do that?
- Mary,
234
00:08:43,968 --> 00:08:46,410
the boy is nine years old
and going into high school.
235
00:08:46,413 --> 00:08:47,813
Isn't that weird enough?
236
00:08:47,816 --> 00:08:49,570
Give it to me. Come on.
237
00:08:49,573 --> 00:08:51,039
It's not just Sheldon.
238
00:08:51,041 --> 00:08:52,908
Georgie's gonna be
in class with him.
239
00:08:52,910 --> 00:08:54,710
Not in the bathroom!
240
00:08:54,712 --> 00:08:56,071
Give it.
241
00:08:58,079 --> 00:08:59,529
♪ Think about it ♪
242
00:08:59,532 --> 00:09:02,818
♪ There must be higher love ♪
243
00:09:02,820 --> 00:09:07,756
♪ Down in the heart or
hidden in the stars above ♪
244
00:09:07,758 --> 00:09:10,559
Would you like to play a driving game?
245
00:09:10,561 --> 00:09:12,492
Not really. I always lose.
246
00:09:12,495 --> 00:09:14,125
- I know. That's why it's fun.
- (laughs)
247
00:09:14,128 --> 00:09:17,231
How about license
plates with prime numbers
248
00:09:17,234 --> 00:09:19,535
- followed by a cons...?
- Why don't we just talk?
249
00:09:19,537 --> 00:09:20,602
Very well.
250
00:09:22,077 --> 00:09:23,283
You understand
251
00:09:23,286 --> 00:09:25,486
that some people are
gonna be intimidated by you
252
00:09:25,489 --> 00:09:27,222
'cause of how smart you are?
253
00:09:27,225 --> 00:09:29,303
Or maybe they'll
recognize my intellect
254
00:09:29,306 --> 00:09:31,280
and make me their leader.
255
00:09:31,282 --> 00:09:33,682
Lord, look after my son.
256
00:09:33,684 --> 00:09:36,718
Don't let him get
stuffed in a gym bag.
257
00:09:36,720 --> 00:09:41,523
♪ Bring me a higher love, oh, oh ♪
258
00:09:41,525 --> 00:09:44,159
♪ Bring me a higher love... ♪
259
00:09:44,161 --> 00:09:46,795
(distorted sounds and voices)
260
00:09:46,797 --> 00:09:49,431
(distorted speech)
261
00:09:49,433 --> 00:09:50,799
Oh, dear.
262
00:09:50,801 --> 00:09:52,267
Yeah.
263
00:09:52,269 --> 00:09:54,912
That boy has an exposed tattoo.
264
00:09:54,915 --> 00:09:55,971
He does.
265
00:09:55,973 --> 00:09:56,908
I wonder if he knows
266
00:09:56,911 --> 00:09:59,074
that's in violation
of the dress code.
267
00:09:59,076 --> 00:10:03,779
Speaking of which, how
about we lose the bowtie?
268
00:10:03,781 --> 00:10:05,547
Why?
269
00:10:05,549 --> 00:10:08,116
Look around, honey. None of
the other kids are wearing one.
270
00:10:08,118 --> 00:10:09,827
Well, perhaps I'll start a fad.
271
00:10:09,830 --> 00:10:12,354
No, you won't.
Please trust Mommy.
272
00:10:13,290 --> 00:10:14,756
All right, tell you what.
273
00:10:14,758 --> 00:10:17,459
You take it off,
and this weekend,
274
00:10:17,461 --> 00:10:19,728
I'll take you to RadioShack.
275
00:10:19,730 --> 00:10:21,163
Hmm?
276
00:10:21,165 --> 00:10:23,332
(bell ringing)
277
00:10:23,334 --> 00:10:25,701
(indistinct chatter)
278
00:10:27,438 --> 00:10:29,304
(growling)
279
00:10:29,306 --> 00:10:30,839
You doing okay?
280
00:10:30,841 --> 00:10:32,455
I guess.
281
00:10:32,458 --> 00:10:34,009
(roars)
282
00:10:34,011 --> 00:10:35,644
I smell ammonia.
283
00:10:35,646 --> 00:10:38,046
They must've done a
thorough cleaning recently.
284
00:10:38,048 --> 00:10:39,815
I like that.
285
00:10:39,817 --> 00:10:43,485
MARY: And remember, if anybody
bothers you, what do you say?
286
00:10:43,487 --> 00:10:45,454
My dad's a football coach.
287
00:10:45,457 --> 00:10:47,692
And? My brother's
a football player.
288
00:10:47,695 --> 00:10:48,757
Good.
289
00:10:48,759 --> 00:10:50,364
Hey, Mom, look.
290
00:10:50,367 --> 00:10:52,634
That girl's pregnant.
291
00:10:52,637 --> 00:10:54,237
Congratulations.
292
00:11:00,603 --> 00:11:02,796
(toilet flushing)
293
00:11:02,799 --> 00:11:05,299
Well, that was revolting.
294
00:11:05,302 --> 00:11:08,062
All right. This is your homeroom.
295
00:11:08,065 --> 00:11:09,764
Do you want me to go in with you?
296
00:11:09,766 --> 00:11:12,418
No. Although I could've
used you in the restroom.
297
00:11:12,421 --> 00:11:14,802
Okay, well...
298
00:11:14,805 --> 00:11:16,137
You have a good day.
299
00:11:16,139 --> 00:11:17,606
And I'll pick you up after school,
300
00:11:17,608 --> 00:11:19,274
same door we came in.
301
00:11:19,276 --> 00:11:21,910
Are you crying or
having an allergy attack?
302
00:11:21,912 --> 00:11:24,246
Allergies.
303
00:11:24,248 --> 00:11:25,814
It's probably the ammonia.
304
00:11:25,816 --> 00:11:27,716
Probably. (sniffles)
305
00:11:27,718 --> 00:11:30,714
Okay. Let the learning begin.
306
00:11:37,060 --> 00:11:40,061
(exhales)
307
00:11:40,063 --> 00:11:44,266
All right, everybody,
my name is Ms. MacElroy.
308
00:11:44,268 --> 00:11:46,786
In addition to being
your homeroom teacher,
309
00:11:46,789 --> 00:11:49,237
I'll be seeing some of
you in my English class,
310
00:11:49,239 --> 00:11:51,239
and some of you on
the volleyball court.
311
00:11:51,241 --> 00:11:53,074
Just to give you
a little history,
312
00:11:53,076 --> 00:11:55,977
I've been here at
Medford for 29 years...
313
00:11:55,980 --> 00:11:58,156
I taught some of your
older brothers and sisters,
314
00:11:58,159 --> 00:12:00,782
and sadly, some of your parents.
315
00:12:02,319 --> 00:12:03,718
Not much I haven't seen.
316
00:12:03,720 --> 00:12:05,630
Until today.
317
00:12:05,633 --> 00:12:08,734
I'm sure you're well aware
we have a student with us,
318
00:12:08,737 --> 00:12:11,026
who, despite his young age,
319
00:12:11,028 --> 00:12:13,138
is remarkably gifted.
320
00:12:13,141 --> 00:12:16,565
And I expect y'all to
make him feel welcome.
321
00:12:17,634 --> 00:12:18,937
Yes, Sheldon?
322
00:12:18,940 --> 00:12:21,369
Per the student dress
and grooming code,
323
00:12:21,371 --> 00:12:23,305
this boy's hair is too long,
324
00:12:23,307 --> 00:12:25,097
this boy is wearing sports attire
325
00:12:25,100 --> 00:12:27,147
outside of a designated area
326
00:12:27,150 --> 00:12:29,514
and this girl's blouse is diaphanous,
327
00:12:29,517 --> 00:12:31,775
which means I can
see her brassiere.
328
00:12:31,778 --> 00:12:34,182
- (laughter)
- Thank you.
329
00:12:34,184 --> 00:12:36,084
I will take that into account.
330
00:12:36,086 --> 00:12:37,419
All right.
331
00:12:37,421 --> 00:12:39,688
We have a few minutes
before first period.
332
00:12:39,690 --> 00:12:41,829
I need y'all to
fill out these forms.
333
00:12:41,832 --> 00:12:42,891
What?
334
00:12:42,893 --> 00:12:44,181
Also in violation
335
00:12:44,184 --> 00:12:46,061
of the grooming code on page 48,
336
00:12:46,063 --> 00:12:48,129
article five, subsection B,
337
00:12:48,131 --> 00:12:50,231
you have a bit of a mustache.
338
00:12:50,233 --> 00:12:51,600
(laughter)
339
00:12:52,611 --> 00:12:54,803
This is a stupid idea.
This boy does not
340
00:12:54,805 --> 00:12:56,204
belong in our school.
341
00:12:56,206 --> 00:12:58,073
PETERSEN: Come on Vicky,
it's just the first day.
342
00:12:58,075 --> 00:12:59,908
Why don't we all just
take a deep breath here?
343
00:12:59,911 --> 00:13:02,802
The hell with that. Five
minutes into my math class,
344
00:13:02,805 --> 00:13:04,016
he questioned my credentials.
345
00:13:04,019 --> 00:13:05,981
How am I supposed to control a
classroom when a kid accuses me
346
00:13:05,983 --> 00:13:07,849
of being in breach of
the hygiene code?
347
00:13:07,851 --> 00:13:09,651
Well, Hubert, it wouldn't
kill you to shower
348
00:13:09,653 --> 00:13:12,008
a little more often. George,
you want to weigh in here?
349
00:13:12,011 --> 00:13:14,208
- Well...
- INGRAM: Oral Roberts University
350
00:13:14,211 --> 00:13:15,323
is a wonderful school.
351
00:13:15,325 --> 00:13:17,092
He said I was intimidated
by his intelligence,
352
00:13:17,094 --> 00:13:18,268
and then,
353
00:13:18,271 --> 00:13:20,929
he offered to be my "leader."
354
00:13:20,931 --> 00:13:22,864
(clears throat)
355
00:13:22,866 --> 00:13:25,233
(playing Mozart's Sonata in D)
356
00:13:51,461 --> 00:13:53,628
(piano playing)
357
00:14:04,941 --> 00:14:06,141
(stops playing)
358
00:14:06,143 --> 00:14:07,776
Do you know this sonata?
359
00:14:07,778 --> 00:14:09,110
No.
360
00:14:09,112 --> 00:14:11,212
How long have you
played the piano?
361
00:14:11,214 --> 00:14:13,882
I don't play piano.
362
00:14:13,884 --> 00:14:16,251
PETERSEN:George,
363
00:14:16,253 --> 00:14:17,719
you got any thoughts here?
364
00:14:17,721 --> 00:14:19,120
I certainly do.
365
00:14:20,590 --> 00:14:22,290
Mary, tell him.
366
00:14:22,292 --> 00:14:25,160
It's simple.
We don't have a choice.
367
00:14:25,162 --> 00:14:26,728
Well, you gave it a shot.
368
00:14:26,730 --> 00:14:28,630
We wish you luck with
Sheldon elsewhere...
369
00:14:28,632 --> 00:14:30,477
MARY: No, no, no.
370
00:14:30,480 --> 00:14:31,766
We don't have a choice.
371
00:14:31,768 --> 00:14:33,001
He's got to stay here.
372
00:14:33,003 --> 00:14:34,290
We can't afford
373
00:14:34,293 --> 00:14:35,179
private school.
374
00:14:35,182 --> 00:14:36,525
I sure can't homeschool him.
375
00:14:36,528 --> 00:14:38,880
He's doing calculus and
Euclidean something or other.
376
00:14:38,883 --> 00:14:40,183
Euclidean geometry.
377
00:14:40,186 --> 00:14:41,910
Guess where I learned that.
378
00:14:41,912 --> 00:14:43,645
Yeah, yeah, we know.
379
00:14:44,247 --> 00:14:46,081
All I care about is that
380
00:14:46,083 --> 00:14:48,750
my son gets the education
he deserves, so you all
381
00:14:48,753 --> 00:14:50,318
are gonna have to
figure this out.
382
00:14:50,320 --> 00:14:51,953
Coach, can you help
me out here, please?
383
00:14:51,955 --> 00:14:53,488
'Cause I'm dyin'.
384
00:14:56,993 --> 00:14:58,481
I'd rather not.
385
00:15:02,866 --> 00:15:04,497
G minor.
386
00:15:05,388 --> 00:15:07,622
F.
387
00:15:07,625 --> 00:15:10,472
E flat.
388
00:15:11,308 --> 00:15:12,769
C minor.
389
00:15:15,612 --> 00:15:17,312
You have perfect pitch.
390
00:15:17,314 --> 00:15:18,813
Okay.
391
00:15:18,815 --> 00:15:22,450
Sweetheart, you should
really pursue music.
392
00:15:22,452 --> 00:15:25,353
No, thank you.
Musicians take drugs.
393
00:15:26,138 --> 00:15:28,664
Is there a faculty
restroom I could use?
394
00:15:30,922 --> 00:15:32,627
(whistle blows)
395
00:15:32,629 --> 00:15:34,329
♪ Ooh... ♪
396
00:15:34,331 --> 00:15:35,430
(grunting)
397
00:15:35,432 --> 00:15:38,600
♪ Ooh... ♪
398
00:15:43,306 --> 00:15:44,806
Cooper, Stinson, you're up.
399
00:15:44,808 --> 00:15:48,276
(laughs) Hey, look,
it's the dumb brother.
400
00:15:50,615 --> 00:15:52,747
- Okay.
- (blows whistle)
401
00:15:54,985 --> 00:15:56,990
(grunting, yelling)
402
00:15:56,993 --> 00:15:58,259
(whistle blowing)
403
00:15:58,262 --> 00:15:59,951
BERGDOFF: That's enough. Hey.
404
00:15:59,954 --> 00:16:01,189
(yelling)(whistle blowing)
405
00:16:01,191 --> 00:16:03,160
BERGDOFF: Hey, that's enough!
406
00:16:03,163 --> 00:16:04,531
- Hey, hey!
- GEORGE SR.: That's enough!
407
00:16:04,533 --> 00:16:05,832
Georgie.
408
00:16:05,835 --> 00:16:07,550
Georgie! Georgie!
409
00:16:07,553 --> 00:16:09,185
Stop! Stop!
410
00:16:11,935 --> 00:16:15,136
What the hell is
wrong with you?
411
00:16:17,387 --> 00:16:18,907
You okay?
412
00:16:18,909 --> 00:16:20,958
No, I'm not okay.
413
00:16:29,920 --> 00:16:31,386
Where you think
you're going?
414
00:16:31,388 --> 00:16:33,354
I quit. I don't
want to play anymore!
415
00:16:33,356 --> 00:16:36,580
- Since when?
- Since right now!
416
00:16:36,583 --> 00:16:38,096
All right, what is going on?
417
00:16:38,099 --> 00:16:40,195
What do you think's going on?!
418
00:16:40,197 --> 00:16:42,351
You mean Sheldon?
419
00:16:45,007 --> 00:16:46,835
You can't let that bother you.
420
00:16:46,838 --> 00:16:48,132
It doesn't bother you?
421
00:16:48,135 --> 00:16:50,249
You got called to the
principal's office.
422
00:16:50,252 --> 00:16:52,440
Yeah, that wasn't so great.
423
00:16:52,442 --> 00:16:54,153
I can't be in the
same school as him!
424
00:16:54,156 --> 00:16:55,794
Well, I don't see
what choice you have.
425
00:16:55,797 --> 00:16:59,004
Right. Ever since he could
talk, I quit having any choices.
426
00:17:04,120 --> 00:17:05,854
(groans)
427
00:17:05,856 --> 00:17:08,289
I know it's hard.
428
00:17:08,291 --> 00:17:12,227
I'm telling you, as your
coach, quit your whining,
429
00:17:12,229 --> 00:17:14,596
get your uniform on and you
get your ass back out there.
430
00:17:14,598 --> 00:17:17,599
But what about as my dad?
431
00:17:17,601 --> 00:17:20,168
Your dad is having a bad day.
432
00:17:20,170 --> 00:17:21,719
Listen to your coach.
433
00:17:27,804 --> 00:17:32,112
Can a clock be powered
by an ordinary potato?
434
00:17:32,115 --> 00:17:34,148
I hope so, boys and girls,
435
00:17:34,150 --> 00:17:37,516
or this is going to be
a really boring episode.
436
00:17:37,519 --> 00:17:39,386
The supplies you'll need...
437
00:17:39,389 --> 00:17:41,322
Why can't we watch DuckTales?
438
00:17:41,324 --> 00:17:44,492
'Cause we don't learn anything
watching DuckTales.
439
00:17:44,494 --> 00:17:47,918
It's TV, we aren't supposed to learn.
440
00:17:47,921 --> 00:17:50,831
Two alligator grips and, let's see...
441
00:17:50,834 --> 00:17:53,097
Of course, a clock.
442
00:17:53,100 --> 00:17:55,469
Missy, go somewhere else. I
need to talk to your brother.
443
00:17:55,472 --> 00:17:58,039
Why don't you go somewhere
else and I can watch Duck...
444
00:17:58,041 --> 00:17:59,307
Go!
445
00:17:59,309 --> 00:18:01,697
I hate everybody.
446
00:18:01,700 --> 00:18:04,568
It's time for science.
447
00:18:06,883 --> 00:18:10,207
Hey, he was about to power
a clock with a potato.
448
00:18:10,210 --> 00:18:11,418
Not possible.
449
00:18:11,421 --> 00:18:13,354
- Now, listen...
- Am I in trouble?
450
00:18:13,356 --> 00:18:15,234
No.
451
00:18:15,237 --> 00:18:17,234
Maybe. Just listen.
452
00:18:18,695 --> 00:18:21,329
You're not gonna make
it in this school
453
00:18:21,331 --> 00:18:23,012
if you keep ratting people out.
454
00:18:23,015 --> 00:18:24,745
But they were breaking
the grooming codes
455
00:18:24,748 --> 00:18:26,153
and the dress codes.
456
00:18:26,156 --> 00:18:29,591
I saw one boy with
a T-shirt that said...
457
00:18:29,594 --> 00:18:30,989
(whispering) "Bite me."
458
00:18:30,992 --> 00:18:33,341
Yeah. That-that's terrible.
459
00:18:33,343 --> 00:18:35,783
Sheldon, let me tell you
a little story.
460
00:18:35,786 --> 00:18:38,179
Did you ever wonder why we
moved from Galveston to Medford?
461
00:18:38,181 --> 00:18:41,783
No. I tend to wonder
about the bigger questions.
462
00:18:41,785 --> 00:18:44,118
Okay, well, here's why.
463
00:18:44,120 --> 00:18:46,921
Your dad had a real
good coaching job
464
00:18:46,923 --> 00:18:49,457
and I saw some
grown-ups breaking rules.
465
00:18:49,460 --> 00:18:50,468
What'd they do?
466
00:18:50,471 --> 00:18:52,705
I-It's kind of complicated, but...
467
00:18:52,708 --> 00:18:54,859
football coaches aren't
allowed to recruit kids
468
00:18:54,862 --> 00:18:57,304
from other high schools
to play on their teams.
469
00:18:57,307 --> 00:18:58,567
And you told on them?
470
00:18:58,570 --> 00:19:00,551
Yeah. You know what happened?
471
00:19:00,554 --> 00:19:03,571
Justice descended
upon the rule breakers?
472
00:19:03,573 --> 00:19:07,141
I got fired, Sheldon.
473
00:19:07,143 --> 00:19:09,177
And I got a bad reputation.
474
00:19:09,179 --> 00:19:12,080
Oh. That's why
you drink so much beer.
475
00:19:15,950 --> 00:19:17,482
Just do yourself a favor.
476
00:19:17,485 --> 00:19:19,477
Okay? Go to school tomorrow,
477
00:19:19,480 --> 00:19:22,223
and mind your own business.
478
00:19:22,226 --> 00:19:23,329
All right?
479
00:19:25,079 --> 00:19:26,470
Dad.
480
00:19:27,931 --> 00:19:30,064
Are you sad that
you got fired?
481
00:19:32,635 --> 00:19:35,903
Mostly angry.
482
00:19:35,905 --> 00:19:38,627
But yeah.
483
00:19:38,630 --> 00:19:40,797
Maybe a little sad.
484
00:19:48,418 --> 00:19:50,687
All right, let's say grace.
485
00:19:54,924 --> 00:19:56,750
Thank you, God,
486
00:19:56,753 --> 00:19:59,761
for this food
we are about to receive.
487
00:19:59,763 --> 00:20:02,163
(muffled praying continues)
488
00:20:07,634 --> 00:20:09,267
ADULT SHELDON:That was the first time
489
00:20:09,270 --> 00:20:11,272
I held my father's hand.
490
00:20:11,274 --> 00:20:14,442
MARY: our bodies and bless
the hands that prepared it.
491
00:20:14,444 --> 00:20:15,682
Amen.
492
00:20:15,685 --> 00:20:17,218
- GEORGIE: Amen.
- Amen.
493
00:20:18,782 --> 00:20:23,418
MARY: Hey, George Jr., wait your turn.
494
00:20:23,420 --> 00:20:25,421
ADULT SHELDON:I wouldn't
touch my brother's hand
495
00:20:25,424 --> 00:20:27,155
until 17 years later,
496
00:20:27,157 --> 00:20:29,711
thanks to the
invention of Purell.
497
00:20:40,566 --> 00:20:42,992
(♪♪♪)
498
00:20:47,437 --> 00:20:48,937
You know what
I find comforting?
499
00:20:48,940 --> 00:20:50,206
What's that, baby?
500
00:20:50,209 --> 00:20:52,408
In a world filled
with uncertainty,
501
00:20:52,411 --> 00:20:54,244
this place will
be here forever.
502
00:20:56,376 --> 00:20:58,415
CLERK: Hey, Sheldon, how you doing?39195
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