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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,000 --> 00:00:04,000 Downloaded From www.AllSubs.org 2 00:00:00,105 --> 00:00:05,000 Shared by http://DJJ.HOME.SAPO.PT/ 3 00:00:10,460 --> 00:00:12,962 You're traveling through another dimension- 4 00:00:13,596 --> 00:00:16,716 a dimension not only of sight and sound, but of mind. 5 00:00:16,751 --> 00:00:17,967 A journey into a wondrous land 6 00:00:18,601 --> 00:00:20,470 whose boundaries are that of imagination. 7 00:00:20,505 --> 00:00:22,355 That's the signpost up ahead. 8 00:00:22,390 --> 00:00:24,474 Your next stop, the twilight zone. 9 00:00:28,237 --> 00:00:30,106 "Sometime during the morning, 10 00:00:30,141 --> 00:00:32,617 "the rear door of the antique shop was jimmied open. 11 00:00:32,618 --> 00:00:34,718 "The police surmised that the thief, 12 00:00:34,753 --> 00:00:37,221 "obviously working with an accomplice, 13 00:00:37,256 --> 00:00:40,340 "entered and began to remove items from the shelves. 14 00:00:40,375 --> 00:00:44,094 "Mr. And mrs. Jensen j. Brown, the proprietors of the shop, 15 00:00:44,129 --> 00:00:46,597 "listed the following collector's items 16 00:00:46,632 --> 00:00:47,848 "as among the goods stolen: 17 00:00:47,883 --> 00:00:49,733 Two vases of the ming dynasty..." 18 00:00:49,768 --> 00:00:51,602 i don't know what dynasty they're from, 19 00:00:51,637 --> 00:00:52,853 but they ain't mings. 20 00:00:52,888 --> 00:00:54,738 There are from some rummage sale. 21 00:00:54,773 --> 00:00:56,607 They're worth about a half a shuck apiece. 22 00:00:57,893 --> 00:00:59,109 Chester! 23 00:00:59,144 --> 00:01:00,994 Larceny! Plain, no-good larceny. 24 00:01:01,029 --> 00:01:02,246 He's padding that list for his insurance. 25 00:01:02,281 --> 00:01:04,114 How do you like a crook like that? 26 00:01:04,149 --> 00:01:05,999 "An antique silver service for 12, 27 00:01:06,034 --> 00:01:09,119 a louis xiv candelabra, a queen anne chest..." 28 00:01:09,753 --> 00:01:12,256 aphony louis xiv candelabra, 29 00:01:12,291 --> 00:01:15,375 a set of u.s. Navy surplus tableware, 30 00:01:15,410 --> 00:01:19,012 a chest worth maybe $3.50 tops. 31 00:01:19,047 --> 00:01:21,515 "Three oil paintings by picasso..." 32 00:01:21,550 --> 00:01:22,766 three posters in frames. 33 00:01:22,801 --> 00:01:23,884 The guy that painted these 34 00:01:23,919 --> 00:01:25,769 thinks a picasso is a foreign sports car. 35 00:01:25,804 --> 00:01:27,638 "Two teakwood, hand-carved 36 00:01:27,673 --> 00:01:29,523 cigarette cases..." 37 00:01:29,558 --> 00:01:32,025 aw, knock it off. Knock it off. 38 00:01:32,060 --> 00:01:37,030 Hey, they forgot this- an antique camera, no less. 39 00:01:37,065 --> 00:01:38,148 Big deal. 40 00:01:38,782 --> 00:01:40,651 Well, fits with the rest of the haul. 41 00:01:40,686 --> 00:01:42,536 Everything else is for nothing. 42 00:01:42,571 --> 00:01:45,038 Figures we get a camera that's for nothing. 43 00:01:45,073 --> 00:01:47,541 A hotel suite that, in this instance, 44 00:01:47,576 --> 00:01:49,409 serves as a den of crime. 45 00:01:49,444 --> 00:01:51,912 The aftermath of a rather minor event 46 00:01:51,947 --> 00:01:53,163 to be noted in a police blotter, 47 00:01:53,797 --> 00:01:55,666 an insurance claim, perhaps a three-inch box 48 00:01:56,300 --> 00:01:58,168 on page 12 of the evening paper. 49 00:01:58,802 --> 00:02:03,807 Small addenda to be added to a camera. 50 00:02:03,842 --> 00:02:05,175 A most unimposing addition 51 00:02:05,210 --> 00:02:07,678 to the flotsam and jetsam that it came with. 52 00:02:07,713 --> 00:02:10,814 Hardly worth mentioning, really, because cameras are cameras: 53 00:02:10,849 --> 00:02:13,317 Some expensive, some purchasable at five-and-dime stores. 54 00:02:13,934 --> 00:02:17,070 But this camera... this one's unusual because, 55 00:02:17,105 --> 00:02:18,939 in just a moment, we'll watch it inject itself 56 00:02:18,974 --> 00:02:21,441 into the destinies of three people. 57 00:02:21,476 --> 00:02:24,578 It happens to be a fact that the pictures that it takes 58 00:02:24,613 --> 00:02:28,332 can only be developed in the twilight zone. 59 00:02:35,172 --> 00:02:37,040 Big deal. 60 00:02:37,075 --> 00:02:39,543 You know, 20 years ago, you could get one of these 61 00:02:39,578 --> 00:02:41,428 in a drugstore for 39 cents. 62 00:02:41,463 --> 00:02:43,297 I got to pick it up in a heist. 63 00:02:43,332 --> 00:02:45,182 Look at the crummy thing. 64 00:02:45,217 --> 00:02:47,684 No place to put the film in. 65 00:02:47,719 --> 00:02:49,553 No place to even open it. 66 00:02:49,588 --> 00:02:52,689 Huh! Some crazy foreign writing. 67 00:02:52,724 --> 00:02:54,558 This must be the clicker. 68 00:02:57,060 --> 00:02:59,563 Hey, baby, get over there by the window. 69 00:03:00,814 --> 00:03:02,699 Come on, take a pose. 70 00:03:03,951 --> 00:03:05,202 Aha... 71 00:03:05,237 --> 00:03:07,070 say cheese. 72 00:03:07,105 --> 00:03:08,322 Cheese. 73 00:03:11,243 --> 00:03:12,459 Nothing. 74 00:03:12,494 --> 00:03:14,828 Aw, big deal. 75 00:03:14,863 --> 00:03:16,713 The whole haul is worth maybe $5.80. 76 00:03:16,748 --> 00:03:17,965 A good fence will give us a buck. 77 00:03:18,582 --> 00:03:19,833 You and your curio shops. 78 00:03:19,868 --> 00:03:21,084 Mycurio shops? 79 00:03:21,119 --> 00:03:22,336 Who cased the place? 80 00:03:22,371 --> 00:03:24,221 Who fingered it? 81 00:03:24,256 --> 00:03:25,722 Who did all the planning? 82 00:03:25,757 --> 00:03:28,842 Listen to miss culture of 1960. 83 00:03:28,877 --> 00:03:32,479 Patron of the arts. 84 00:03:32,514 --> 00:03:34,348 "Never mind hock shops," she says. 85 00:03:34,383 --> 00:03:36,233 "Let's get up in life," she says. 86 00:03:36,268 --> 00:03:38,101 "Let's knock over a curio shop 87 00:03:38,136 --> 00:03:39,987 "on account of curio shops are loaded 88 00:03:40,022 --> 00:03:42,489 with objets d'art worth a fortune." 89 00:03:42,524 --> 00:03:43,740 Two weeks of planning, 90 00:03:43,775 --> 00:03:45,609 one whole night on the heist, 91 00:03:45,644 --> 00:03:46,860 and what have we got for it? 92 00:03:46,895 --> 00:03:48,111 400 pounds of junk. 93 00:03:48,146 --> 00:03:50,614 I could have shot pool for a whole day and made more. 94 00:03:50,649 --> 00:03:51,865 Look, baby, the next time 95 00:03:51,900 --> 00:03:53,750 you get a hot idea on a heist... 96 00:04:02,259 --> 00:04:04,127 well, how do i look? 97 00:04:09,132 --> 00:04:11,018 Well, isn't that nice? 98 00:04:11,053 --> 00:04:12,636 And so clear, chet. Can you imagine that? 99 00:04:12,671 --> 00:04:13,887 No flashbulbs or anything. 100 00:04:13,922 --> 00:04:15,772 And look how clear it is. 101 00:04:15,807 --> 00:04:17,024 What's the matter with you? 102 00:04:17,059 --> 00:04:18,892 What's the matter withme? 103 00:04:18,927 --> 00:04:20,777 Get over there by the mirror. What? 104 00:04:20,812 --> 00:04:23,280 Go on. Go look at yourself in the mirror. 105 00:04:23,315 --> 00:04:25,782 Are you missing a couple of buttons? 106 00:04:25,817 --> 00:04:27,034 You go ahead and look. 107 00:04:27,069 --> 00:04:28,902 So, what's to see? 108 00:04:28,937 --> 00:04:30,787 Now look at the picture. 109 00:04:31,405 --> 00:04:33,907 So, there i am standing by the window 110 00:04:33,942 --> 00:04:35,158 wearing a... fur coat?! 111 00:04:35,193 --> 00:04:37,661 Chet, what am i doing wearing a fur coat? 112 00:04:37,696 --> 00:04:40,797 I wasn't wearing a fur coat when you took that picture. 113 00:04:40,832 --> 00:04:42,666 I don't even own a fur coat. 114 00:04:42,701 --> 00:04:45,802 I get it. 115 00:04:45,837 --> 00:04:47,671 Camera's strictly for laughs. 116 00:04:47,706 --> 00:04:48,922 Strictly for laughs. 117 00:04:48,957 --> 00:04:50,173 It's a gag camera. 118 00:04:50,208 --> 00:04:51,425 What do you mean? 119 00:04:51,460 --> 00:04:52,676 Look, look. 120 00:04:52,711 --> 00:04:55,812 They've already got the pictures developed inside. 121 00:04:55,847 --> 00:04:57,681 The negatives have got pictures on them. 122 00:04:57,716 --> 00:05:00,817 All this does is take the faces. What? 123 00:05:00,852 --> 00:05:02,319 You know, like in a carnival, 124 00:05:02,354 --> 00:05:06,073 when you stand back of that crazy cardboard thing. 125 00:05:06,108 --> 00:05:09,192 You know, fat lady, guy driving a car, sailor. You know. 126 00:05:09,227 --> 00:05:11,078 Well, that's what this is. 127 00:05:11,113 --> 00:05:12,579 Hey, that's not bad. 128 00:05:12,614 --> 00:05:13,830 That's pretty clever. 129 00:05:13,865 --> 00:05:16,950 We might as well clear up the rest of this junk. 130 00:05:16,985 --> 00:05:18,835 Let's get at that chest. 131 00:05:20,454 --> 00:05:21,705 Key come with this? 132 00:05:21,740 --> 00:05:23,590 No. You'll have to open it 133 00:05:23,625 --> 00:05:25,459 in your own inimitable style. 134 00:05:25,494 --> 00:05:26,710 Anybody ever tell you 135 00:05:26,745 --> 00:05:27,961 you got a nasty disposition? 136 00:05:27,996 --> 00:05:29,212 If i have a nasty disposition, 137 00:05:29,247 --> 00:05:31,715 it's because i'm married to a nickel-and-dime heister 138 00:05:31,750 --> 00:05:34,217 who can't tell a real diamond from a baseball. 139 00:05:34,252 --> 00:05:35,469 Look, baby doll, 140 00:05:35,504 --> 00:05:37,220 this suite is 28 bucks a day 141 00:05:37,255 --> 00:05:38,472 delivered and paid for 142 00:05:38,507 --> 00:05:40,357 by mrs. Diedrich's son, chester, 143 00:05:40,392 --> 00:05:42,859 on profits collected over a potful of years 144 00:05:42,894 --> 00:05:45,362 when you weren't even in the picture. 145 00:05:45,397 --> 00:05:47,230 Matter of fact, i need you 146 00:05:47,265 --> 00:05:49,116 like i need a three- time conviction. 147 00:05:52,235 --> 00:05:53,487 Hey! 148 00:05:53,522 --> 00:05:55,372 Oh, look. 149 00:05:58,492 --> 00:05:59,743 Oh! 150 00:06:00,994 --> 00:06:02,879 Well, how do you like this? 151 00:06:02,914 --> 00:06:04,131 And don't start giving me 152 00:06:04,166 --> 00:06:05,999 any of that cheap pizzazz 153 00:06:06,034 --> 00:06:08,502 about taking this to any fence. 154 00:06:08,537 --> 00:06:11,004 This belongs to little old paula. 155 00:06:11,039 --> 00:06:13,507 And don't try to argue with me either. 156 00:06:14,758 --> 00:06:16,893 Well, how do i look? 157 00:06:23,400 --> 00:06:25,902 All right, cue me. 158 00:06:25,937 --> 00:06:26,770 What's the matter? 159 00:06:53,296 --> 00:06:54,548 What are you doing? 160 00:06:54,583 --> 00:06:56,433 Come on back to bed. 161 00:06:56,468 --> 00:06:57,684 Still with that? 162 00:06:57,719 --> 00:06:59,553 Shut up. 163 00:06:59,588 --> 00:07:01,438 So what do you care? 164 00:07:01,473 --> 00:07:03,306 Want me to let it go by, huh? 165 00:07:03,341 --> 00:07:05,192 So what do you care? So it's a crazy camera. 166 00:07:05,227 --> 00:07:08,311 So it takes dopey pictures that really aren't there. 167 00:07:08,346 --> 00:07:09,312 Yeah, it takes dopey pictures. 168 00:07:09,946 --> 00:07:11,815 Dopey pictures like things that haven't happened yet, 169 00:07:11,850 --> 00:07:13,066 but they do happen. 170 00:07:13,101 --> 00:07:14,951 So what's to do, chet? 171 00:07:14,986 --> 00:07:17,454 One lousy, kooky picture 172 00:07:17,489 --> 00:07:19,322 and you get insomnia. 173 00:07:19,357 --> 00:07:21,825 So it's a camera, that's all. 174 00:07:21,860 --> 00:07:23,710 Here, i'll show you. 175 00:07:25,962 --> 00:07:27,330 There. See? 176 00:07:27,365 --> 00:07:28,582 Any lightning? 177 00:07:28,617 --> 00:07:30,467 Drop it, why don't you? 178 00:07:30,502 --> 00:07:32,335 Let it go. Forget it. 179 00:07:32,370 --> 00:07:34,221 How can i forget it? 180 00:07:34,256 --> 00:07:37,974 This thing could come from witches or... sorcerers. 181 00:07:38,009 --> 00:07:41,728 It could be loaded with black magic. 182 00:07:41,763 --> 00:07:44,231 And what are you loaded with? 183 00:07:44,266 --> 00:07:45,482 Do you see anything? 184 00:07:45,517 --> 00:07:47,984 Where's the man with the horns 185 00:07:48,019 --> 00:07:49,236 who comes in 186 00:07:49,271 --> 00:07:51,104 with a bargain for the soul? 187 00:07:51,139 --> 00:07:52,989 It's a kooky camera, that's all. 188 00:08:03,366 --> 00:08:04,618 Well? 189 00:08:10,257 --> 00:08:13,376 It's my brother woodward... 190 00:08:13,411 --> 00:08:15,879 standing by the door. 191 00:08:15,914 --> 00:08:17,130 Yeah. 192 00:08:17,165 --> 00:08:19,015 That's who it is. 193 00:08:19,050 --> 00:08:21,518 That cheap, no-good brother of yours. 194 00:08:21,553 --> 00:08:22,769 It can't be. 195 00:08:22,804 --> 00:08:24,638 He's in jail. 196 00:08:24,673 --> 00:08:26,523 Seven years for breaking and entering, 197 00:08:26,558 --> 00:08:28,391 and that was only a year ago. 198 00:08:28,426 --> 00:08:29,643 Oh, no. No, chet. 199 00:08:29,678 --> 00:08:30,894 It's throwing us a curve. 200 00:08:30,929 --> 00:08:32,145 Maybe it's somebody 201 00:08:32,180 --> 00:08:34,030 who just looks like woodward. 202 00:08:34,065 --> 00:08:36,533 Nobody looks like woodward. 203 00:08:36,568 --> 00:08:37,784 Look. 204 00:08:39,035 --> 00:08:40,904 Chester, i'm scared. 205 00:08:40,939 --> 00:08:42,155 I'm palpitating. 206 00:08:42,190 --> 00:08:45,292 You and your phony palpitations, you... 207 00:08:45,327 --> 00:08:47,794 a little palpitating never hurt anybody. 208 00:08:47,829 --> 00:08:49,663 What's there to be scared about? 209 00:08:49,698 --> 00:08:52,799 The thing has obviously gone tilt or something. 210 00:08:52,834 --> 00:08:54,050 Look. Now, look. 211 00:08:54,085 --> 00:08:55,302 Woodward isn't here. 212 00:08:55,337 --> 00:08:57,804 Woodward couldn't possibly be here. 213 00:08:57,839 --> 00:08:59,673 Woodward's not going to be here. 214 00:08:59,708 --> 00:09:00,924 He's serving time. 215 00:09:00,959 --> 00:09:02,809 He's 900 miles away in a cell block. 216 00:09:02,844 --> 00:09:05,929 I don't care what that crazy camera says. 217 00:09:05,964 --> 00:09:07,814 Whoever is in this picture, 218 00:09:07,849 --> 00:09:09,683 it is not woodward. 219 00:09:16,690 --> 00:09:17,941 Woodward. 220 00:09:17,976 --> 00:09:19,192 Hi, paula. Hi, chet. 221 00:09:19,227 --> 00:09:21,695 I didn't want to wake you, so i jimmied the door open. 222 00:09:21,730 --> 00:09:23,446 I broke out- me and another guy- 223 00:09:23,481 --> 00:09:24,698 in a laundry truck. 224 00:09:24,733 --> 00:09:26,449 That's nice, huh? 225 00:09:26,484 --> 00:09:29,586 I didn't think you'd mind if i stay with you for a few days. 226 00:09:29,621 --> 00:09:30,837 Well, you don't, do you? 227 00:09:30,872 --> 00:09:33,206 I was thinking, if i was around, 228 00:09:33,241 --> 00:09:35,091 you two wouldn't fight so much. 229 00:09:35,126 --> 00:09:36,843 You still all the time fighting? 230 00:09:38,712 --> 00:09:41,214 What's this, chet? 231 00:09:41,249 --> 00:09:42,465 How do you like that? 232 00:09:42,500 --> 00:09:44,351 There i am, standing by this door, 233 00:09:44,386 --> 00:09:46,219 wearing the clothes i got on. 234 00:09:46,254 --> 00:09:47,470 How about that? 235 00:09:47,505 --> 00:09:49,973 I tell you, science is wonderful. 236 00:09:50,008 --> 00:09:52,475 To be able to take a picture of a... 237 00:09:53,109 --> 00:09:55,612 wait a minute. 238 00:09:55,647 --> 00:09:57,480 Wait a minute! 239 00:09:59,366 --> 00:10:03,119 Like, uh... how come? 240 00:10:15,148 --> 00:10:18,268 I still don't know how we can use it. 241 00:10:18,303 --> 00:10:20,153 Strictly for laughs. 242 00:10:20,188 --> 00:10:21,404 Imagine trying to sell an item like that. 243 00:10:22,022 --> 00:10:22,656 They'd throw you out. 244 00:10:22,691 --> 00:10:23,907 They'd say you're off your rocker. 245 00:10:23,942 --> 00:10:25,158 They'd burn you at the stake. 246 00:10:25,193 --> 00:10:26,409 One thing or the other. 247 00:10:26,444 --> 00:10:29,279 Hey, maybe we could sell tickets. 248 00:10:29,314 --> 00:10:31,781 Take pictures like at a carny, 249 00:10:31,816 --> 00:10:33,416 and then... 250 00:10:33,451 --> 00:10:35,418 well, maybe we could, uh... 251 00:10:35,453 --> 00:10:37,287 well, you know, like that. 252 00:10:37,322 --> 00:10:40,790 Well, i'm going to lay it on the line. 253 00:10:40,825 --> 00:10:42,676 What are we? 254 00:10:43,927 --> 00:10:45,178 I asked you a question. What are we? 255 00:10:45,213 --> 00:10:48,298 What are we, chet? We're people. 256 00:10:48,333 --> 00:10:50,433 Yeah, but what kind of people? 257 00:10:50,468 --> 00:10:52,302 We're three small-time heisters. 258 00:10:52,337 --> 00:10:54,804 Well, now we've finally got something 259 00:10:54,839 --> 00:10:57,307 that might do something good for somebody else. 260 00:10:57,941 --> 00:10:59,809 Science could use something like this. 261 00:10:59,844 --> 00:11:01,061 Who? 262 00:11:01,096 --> 00:11:02,312 Science. 263 00:11:02,347 --> 00:11:04,197 We got something here for humanity. 264 00:11:04,232 --> 00:11:06,066 Who? 265 00:11:06,101 --> 00:11:07,317 Humanity. 266 00:11:07,352 --> 00:11:09,703 You got a leak in your attic? 267 00:11:09,738 --> 00:11:12,205 What's humanity ever done for us? 268 00:11:12,240 --> 00:11:13,456 Sure, paula, sure. 269 00:11:13,491 --> 00:11:14,708 That's what i meant. 270 00:11:15,325 --> 00:11:16,576 Just what you said. 271 00:11:16,611 --> 00:11:18,461 That's the way we are. 272 00:11:18,496 --> 00:11:19,713 Everything for us. 273 00:11:19,748 --> 00:11:21,581 Nothing for anybody else. 274 00:11:21,616 --> 00:11:24,718 I've risen above all that now. 275 00:11:24,753 --> 00:11:27,837 I say, let's give this to the world. 276 00:11:27,872 --> 00:11:29,723 Here, world. 277 00:11:29,758 --> 00:11:32,225 A gift from chester diedrich and his wife. 278 00:11:32,260 --> 00:11:34,728 And me, too, chet. Don't forget woodward. 279 00:11:34,763 --> 00:11:36,346 Yeah. And you, too, woodward. 280 00:11:36,381 --> 00:11:38,848 Here, world. 281 00:11:38,883 --> 00:11:42,602 A gift for humanity. 282 00:11:42,637 --> 00:11:45,739 A gesture. 283 00:11:45,774 --> 00:11:48,241 A gesture to show the size of the heart 284 00:11:48,276 --> 00:11:50,110 of chester diedrich and wife. 285 00:11:50,145 --> 00:11:50,994 And 286 00:11:51,029 --> 00:11:51,995 woodward. 287 00:11:52,030 --> 00:11:53,863 Yeah, that's better. 288 00:11:53,898 --> 00:11:55,749 Isn't there something you want to watch on tv? 289 00:11:55,784 --> 00:11:57,367 Oh, yeah. 290 00:11:59,869 --> 00:12:01,755 You know, paula, this could be 291 00:12:01,790 --> 00:12:04,007 a very important scientific discovery. 292 00:12:04,042 --> 00:12:07,127 There's no telling what medical science may do with this. 293 00:12:07,162 --> 00:12:08,378 How can you know...? 294 00:12:08,413 --> 00:12:10,880 A half-length, a full-length, 295 00:12:10,915 --> 00:12:12,132 and hot foot takes it by a length and a half. 296 00:12:12,167 --> 00:12:13,383 Jerry slash second by two, 297 00:12:13,418 --> 00:12:15,268 easter baby third. 298 00:12:15,303 --> 00:12:17,137 The rest of the field is strung out. 299 00:12:17,172 --> 00:12:20,273 $24.90 to win, $15.80 and $6.70. 300 00:12:20,308 --> 00:12:23,393 In just a few minutes, the second race of the day, 301 00:12:23,428 --> 00:12:24,644 the los tendres handicap. 302 00:12:24,679 --> 00:12:26,529 Shut that thing off. 303 00:12:26,564 --> 00:12:28,398 Huh? Oh, yeah. 304 00:12:28,433 --> 00:12:30,283 I got it. 305 00:12:30,318 --> 00:12:32,152 I've got it, i've got it. 306 00:12:32,187 --> 00:12:35,288 What is it, chester? 307 00:12:35,323 --> 00:12:38,408 This thing takes pictures of things that happen 308 00:12:38,443 --> 00:12:40,910 five minutes before they happen, 309 00:12:40,945 --> 00:12:41,795 but they happen! 310 00:12:41,830 --> 00:12:44,297 I'll tell you what we're going to do. 311 00:12:44,332 --> 00:12:46,800 We're going to take a picture of the winning board 312 00:12:46,835 --> 00:12:49,302 at the racetrack... before the race. 313 00:12:50,553 --> 00:12:53,056 The winning board before the race, get it? 314 00:12:54,307 --> 00:12:55,558 No, i don't get it. 315 00:12:56,810 --> 00:12:59,679 Wait a minute. 316 00:12:59,714 --> 00:13:02,182 We take a picture of the winning board, 317 00:13:02,217 --> 00:13:04,067 and then we look at it. 318 00:13:04,102 --> 00:13:05,318 Oh, chester! 319 00:13:07,187 --> 00:13:09,072 We getting through to you, woodward? 320 00:13:09,107 --> 00:13:12,192 Look, we take a picture of the winning board. 321 00:13:12,227 --> 00:13:13,443 There's nothing on it 322 00:13:13,478 --> 00:13:15,328 because the race hasn't been run yet, 323 00:13:15,363 --> 00:13:17,831 but we got a little camera here 324 00:13:17,866 --> 00:13:19,082 that takes pictures 325 00:13:19,117 --> 00:13:20,950 five minutes before they happen. 326 00:13:20,985 --> 00:13:24,704 So the picture has the winning numbers on the board. 327 00:13:24,739 --> 00:13:25,955 We know what horse won. 328 00:13:25,990 --> 00:13:27,841 We know how much he paid. 329 00:13:27,876 --> 00:13:30,343 Now do you get it? 330 00:13:30,378 --> 00:13:32,212 Yeah! Now i get it. 331 00:13:32,247 --> 00:13:34,097 Okay, everybody, get your coats. 332 00:13:34,714 --> 00:13:36,599 Grab one of mine, and be sure to put on a tie. 333 00:13:36,634 --> 00:13:37,851 Okay, chet? 334 00:13:38,468 --> 00:13:39,719 Let's see now. 335 00:13:39,754 --> 00:13:41,604 That was the first race... 336 00:13:41,639 --> 00:13:42,856 we can still catch the last six. 337 00:13:42,891 --> 00:13:44,107 Hey, wait a minute. 338 00:13:44,142 --> 00:13:45,358 How much money have we got? 339 00:13:45,393 --> 00:13:47,227 I got a ten and a 20. 340 00:13:47,262 --> 00:13:47,861 That's $30. 341 00:13:47,896 --> 00:13:49,112 I know it's $30. 342 00:13:49,147 --> 00:13:50,363 I got... $180. 343 00:13:50,398 --> 00:13:52,232 Woodward, you got money? 344 00:13:52,267 --> 00:13:52,866 Yeah, i got ten. 345 00:13:52,901 --> 00:13:54,117 That gives us 220 bucks. 346 00:13:54,152 --> 00:13:55,368 Is that enough? 347 00:13:55,403 --> 00:13:56,619 We're bound to hit 348 00:13:56,654 --> 00:13:57,871 one long shot, maybe two. 349 00:13:57,906 --> 00:14:00,373 We'll parlay this into a million bucks. 350 00:14:00,408 --> 00:14:02,242 We can't lose, paula! We can't lose! Come on! 351 00:14:02,277 --> 00:14:04,127 Hey, wait a minute, chet! 352 00:14:04,162 --> 00:14:05,378 Wait a minute. 353 00:14:05,413 --> 00:14:06,629 What about humanity? 354 00:14:06,664 --> 00:14:09,132 What did humanity ever do for us? 355 00:14:09,167 --> 00:14:09,749 Come on! 356 00:14:16,639 --> 00:14:17,507 We got us an idea. 357 00:14:17,542 --> 00:14:19,392 Oh, boy, chester! Oh, boy! 358 00:14:19,427 --> 00:14:23,146 Look, my ribs aren't hurting your elbow any, are they? 359 00:14:23,181 --> 00:14:24,397 Keep it quiet. 360 00:14:24,432 --> 00:14:26,266 Let me get the shot. 361 00:14:28,686 --> 00:14:29,519 Okay. 362 00:14:40,448 --> 00:14:41,664 Ah-ah-ah. 363 00:14:41,699 --> 00:14:42,916 Well? 364 00:14:42,951 --> 00:14:44,784 There's numbers on it. 365 00:14:44,819 --> 00:14:46,419 6, 3, 11. 366 00:14:46,454 --> 00:14:48,288 Look what number six pays. 367 00:14:48,323 --> 00:14:51,674 $47.60 to win. 368 00:14:51,709 --> 00:14:52,675 Oh, boy, chester! 369 00:14:52,710 --> 00:14:53,927 Let me see. 370 00:14:53,962 --> 00:14:55,795 Number six, number six... 371 00:14:55,830 --> 00:14:58,298 tidy too. 372 00:14:58,333 --> 00:14:59,549 Okay, boys and girls, 373 00:14:59,584 --> 00:15:01,434 our money goes on tidy too. 374 00:15:01,469 --> 00:15:02,685 Here. You take care of baby. 375 00:15:05,188 --> 00:15:08,308 Going wide, can't hold the rail. 376 00:15:08,343 --> 00:15:10,560 And tidy too moves into the hole on the rail and moves fast. 377 00:15:10,595 --> 00:15:12,445 Tidy too. Tidy too. 378 00:15:12,480 --> 00:15:13,696 Come on, number six. 379 00:15:14,314 --> 00:15:16,316 And sir rinos falls back. 380 00:15:16,351 --> 00:15:18,568 Come on, come on, tidy too. 381 00:15:18,603 --> 00:15:19,819 Come on, tidy too. 382 00:15:19,854 --> 00:15:21,070 Come on, horsey! 383 00:15:23,323 --> 00:15:24,574 Tidy too. 384 00:15:24,609 --> 00:15:26,459 Come on, come on. 385 00:15:26,494 --> 00:15:28,077 Come on, tidy too. 386 00:15:32,832 --> 00:15:34,083 We won. 387 00:15:34,118 --> 00:15:38,471 9,500 bucks... oh! 388 00:15:43,092 --> 00:15:44,978 Here we go. 389 00:15:45,013 --> 00:15:47,480 Chet, go get the money. 390 00:15:47,515 --> 00:15:48,731 Yeah. Be right back. 391 00:15:48,766 --> 00:15:49,983 Watch the camera. 392 00:15:52,485 --> 00:15:53,736 Thank you. 393 00:15:59,993 --> 00:16:02,495 Open the bag, honey. I've run out of pockets. 394 00:16:02,530 --> 00:16:03,746 Look at the loot. 395 00:16:09,369 --> 00:16:13,122 95 times to win, number four. 396 00:16:17,510 --> 00:16:18,127 90... 397 00:16:18,162 --> 00:16:19,379 91... 398 00:16:19,414 --> 00:16:20,013 92... 399 00:16:20,630 --> 00:16:21,264 93... 400 00:16:21,299 --> 00:16:22,515 94... 401 00:16:22,550 --> 00:16:23,132 95. 402 00:16:33,142 --> 00:16:35,028 How soon can you make delivery 403 00:16:35,063 --> 00:16:36,279 on something like that? 404 00:16:36,314 --> 00:16:37,530 No, no, no. Not black. 405 00:16:37,565 --> 00:16:40,033 It's got to be yellow with black upholstery. 406 00:16:40,068 --> 00:16:43,152 Yeah. Wire wheels, dual exhausts, 407 00:16:43,187 --> 00:16:45,655 continental kit- the works. 408 00:16:45,690 --> 00:16:47,540 Right. And how much was it? 409 00:16:47,575 --> 00:16:49,409 $11,000. 410 00:16:49,444 --> 00:16:51,411 11 grand. 411 00:16:51,446 --> 00:16:53,296 No, i'm not backing out. 412 00:16:53,331 --> 00:16:56,416 I'm thinking about whether i want to get two or not. 413 00:16:56,451 --> 00:16:58,918 Okay, you bring the papers around in the morning. 414 00:16:58,953 --> 00:17:00,803 We'll settle the whole deal. 415 00:17:00,838 --> 00:17:03,306 Right, no, no, no. I'll pay cash. Yeah. 416 00:17:05,593 --> 00:17:08,061 That must be the waiter. 417 00:17:08,096 --> 00:17:10,563 Are you finished with your snack, woodward, dear? 418 00:17:10,598 --> 00:17:13,066 Yeah. That'll hold me till dinner. 419 00:17:13,101 --> 00:17:14,317 Come in. 420 00:17:14,352 --> 00:17:17,937 I came for the dishes, madam. 421 00:17:17,972 --> 00:17:19,822 Right here. 422 00:17:23,576 --> 00:17:24,827 Could you possibly bring us back 423 00:17:24,862 --> 00:17:27,196 a couple bottles of champagne? 424 00:17:27,231 --> 00:17:28,448 Yes, ma'am, i can. 425 00:17:28,483 --> 00:17:29,699 Hey, put that down. 426 00:17:29,734 --> 00:17:30,950 Oh, let him look at it. 427 00:17:30,985 --> 00:17:32,835 Bet you never saw anything like that. 428 00:17:32,870 --> 00:17:33,953 Mais non. 429 00:17:33,988 --> 00:17:35,204 Most unusual, sir. 430 00:17:35,239 --> 00:17:37,090 Isn't it, though? 431 00:17:37,125 --> 00:17:38,958 You don't knowhowunusual. 432 00:17:38,993 --> 00:17:42,095 But what do you do after your ten pictures? 433 00:17:42,130 --> 00:17:45,214 Is there any other way to get more film? 434 00:17:45,249 --> 00:17:47,216 We've only had it a little while. 435 00:17:47,251 --> 00:17:48,468 What did you say? 436 00:17:48,503 --> 00:17:49,852 What about ten pictures? 437 00:17:49,887 --> 00:17:54,223 Well, the inscription reads, "dix a la proprietaire." 438 00:17:54,258 --> 00:17:56,109 That means, "ten to an owner." 439 00:17:56,144 --> 00:17:57,727 Well, i presume that means 440 00:17:57,762 --> 00:17:59,612 you may only take ten. 441 00:17:59,647 --> 00:18:00,613 So odd. 442 00:18:00,648 --> 00:18:03,733 Yes, you see, the lettering... 443 00:18:03,768 --> 00:18:04,984 yeah, okay, pierre. 444 00:18:05,019 --> 00:18:06,235 Don't forget the champagne. 445 00:18:06,270 --> 00:18:08,738 You're going to have to get it for her. 446 00:18:08,773 --> 00:18:11,240 If we want anything else, we'll call you. 447 00:18:11,275 --> 00:18:13,126 Okay, boy. Bye. 448 00:18:13,161 --> 00:18:15,378 How many pictures did we take? 449 00:18:15,413 --> 00:18:16,629 There was one of you. 450 00:18:16,664 --> 00:18:17,880 One of woodward. 451 00:18:17,915 --> 00:18:19,749 How many we take at the track? 452 00:18:19,784 --> 00:18:21,000 Six... six races. 453 00:18:21,035 --> 00:18:22,251 We've taken eight pictures. 454 00:18:22,885 --> 00:18:24,137 There's only two left. 455 00:18:24,172 --> 00:18:25,388 Ten. 456 00:18:25,423 --> 00:18:27,256 How do we know that's what it means? 457 00:18:27,291 --> 00:18:29,142 Some smart-aleck french waiter 458 00:18:29,177 --> 00:18:30,393 tells us it means ten, 459 00:18:30,428 --> 00:18:32,895 so we figure we've only got two left. 460 00:18:32,930 --> 00:18:34,147 How does he know? 461 00:18:34,182 --> 00:18:36,649 I bet we can take as many as we want. 462 00:18:36,684 --> 00:18:38,518 We can't take any chances. 463 00:18:38,553 --> 00:18:40,403 Yeah, she's right. You know what i think? 464 00:18:40,438 --> 00:18:42,271 I think we ought to sell it. 465 00:18:42,306 --> 00:18:43,523 Who's rattling your cage, ape? 466 00:18:43,558 --> 00:18:45,408 It doesn't belong to you. 467 00:18:45,443 --> 00:18:46,659 You're here on charity. 468 00:18:46,694 --> 00:18:49,162 We're going out to the track tomorrow 469 00:18:49,197 --> 00:18:50,413 and bet two more races. 470 00:18:50,448 --> 00:18:51,664 Are you both crazy? 471 00:18:51,699 --> 00:18:54,167 We got to hang on to it and save it. 472 00:18:54,202 --> 00:18:56,035 No, we don't, we got to sell it. 473 00:19:01,040 --> 00:19:03,543 You made me waste a picture. 474 00:19:03,578 --> 00:19:05,428 Ooh, palpitations! 475 00:19:05,463 --> 00:19:06,679 Palpitations. 476 00:19:06,714 --> 00:19:09,799 Phony palpitations and a stupid brother! 477 00:19:09,834 --> 00:19:12,301 I don't have to take that guff. 478 00:19:12,336 --> 00:19:13,553 All right, all right. 479 00:19:13,588 --> 00:19:15,438 Here, woodward, take a drink. 480 00:19:15,473 --> 00:19:16,689 That's better. 481 00:19:33,706 --> 00:19:35,575 She's screaming. 482 00:19:35,610 --> 00:19:39,328 Why do you think she's screaming, woodward? 483 00:19:39,363 --> 00:19:41,714 I'll tell you why she's screaming. 484 00:19:41,749 --> 00:19:45,468 Because somebody's trying to do something to her husband. 485 00:19:45,503 --> 00:19:46,719 Some stupid, no-good ex-con 486 00:19:46,754 --> 00:19:49,839 who wants to get that camera and doesn't care how. 487 00:19:49,874 --> 00:19:51,090 Don't! 488 00:19:51,125 --> 00:19:52,975 Don't do it, chet. 489 00:19:53,010 --> 00:19:54,227 Put that knife away. 490 00:19:54,262 --> 00:19:55,478 Chester! 491 00:19:55,513 --> 00:19:57,346 If she's screaming in that picture, 492 00:19:57,381 --> 00:20:00,483 she's because somebody's trying to hurt her loving brother. 493 00:20:00,518 --> 00:20:01,734 Boys! Woodward! 494 00:20:01,769 --> 00:20:02,985 No, please. 495 00:20:03,020 --> 00:20:05,488 Put it away or i'll take off your skin. 496 00:20:07,356 --> 00:20:08,608 Please, don't. 497 00:20:12,897 --> 00:20:15,364 Oh, chester. 498 00:20:15,998 --> 00:20:17,250 Oh, my. 499 00:20:17,285 --> 00:20:21,003 My husband... woodward. 500 00:20:21,038 --> 00:20:22,872 I'll die. 501 00:20:22,907 --> 00:20:26,008 There's nothing left for me. 502 00:20:26,043 --> 00:20:27,877 Nothing. 503 00:20:32,882 --> 00:20:37,270 However, we must muddle through these things. 504 00:20:37,305 --> 00:20:39,772 We must live with tragedy. 505 00:20:39,807 --> 00:20:44,143 Poor woodward. Poor chester. 506 00:20:46,028 --> 00:20:48,531 One more picture left. 507 00:20:49,148 --> 00:20:50,399 Ha! 508 00:20:57,790 --> 00:20:59,659 For posterity, boys. 509 00:20:59,694 --> 00:21:00,910 Simply for posterity. 510 00:21:02,830 --> 00:21:04,046 May you both rest in peace. 511 00:21:16,594 --> 00:21:17,810 What do you want? 512 00:21:17,845 --> 00:21:18,678 Pardonnez-moi. 513 00:21:18,713 --> 00:21:19,929 Madame, i understand 514 00:21:19,964 --> 00:21:22,431 there is something in the way of laundry 515 00:21:22,466 --> 00:21:23,683 that i should take. 516 00:21:23,718 --> 00:21:24,934 You've got the wrong room. 517 00:21:24,969 --> 00:21:26,819 There's no laundry here, jack. 518 00:21:26,854 --> 00:21:28,688 In fact, i'm checking out. 519 00:21:28,723 --> 00:21:29,939 So i understand, madame. 520 00:21:29,974 --> 00:21:33,075 Your two friends, they already checked out. 521 00:21:33,110 --> 00:21:34,327 What are you doing?! 522 00:21:34,362 --> 00:21:36,829 I told you i was here to take the laundry. 523 00:21:37,446 --> 00:21:39,949 I'm- how do you say? - cleaning you out. 524 00:21:39,984 --> 00:21:40,950 Cleaning me out? 525 00:21:40,985 --> 00:21:42,835 What do you think i'll be doing 526 00:21:42,870 --> 00:21:44,086 while you do that? 527 00:21:44,121 --> 00:21:45,338 Well, i'll cue you. 528 00:21:45,373 --> 00:21:47,206 I'm going to be calling the cops. 529 00:21:47,241 --> 00:21:49,091 The cops? 530 00:21:49,126 --> 00:21:50,960 Oh, you mean the police? 531 00:21:50,995 --> 00:21:52,845 Madame will forgive me 532 00:21:52,880 --> 00:21:55,097 but, if you call the police, 533 00:21:55,132 --> 00:21:58,217 madame will get herself into- how you say? - 534 00:21:58,252 --> 00:22:01,971 one fantastic bind. 535 00:22:02,006 --> 00:22:05,474 Now this here, this is- how you say? - 536 00:22:05,509 --> 00:22:07,360 up for grabs. 537 00:22:07,395 --> 00:22:09,979 Dear lady, i know all about you now. 538 00:22:10,014 --> 00:22:12,481 I have done some checking. 539 00:22:12,516 --> 00:22:15,618 Your husband, your brother and you, 540 00:22:15,653 --> 00:22:18,487 you are wanted. 541 00:22:20,990 --> 00:22:22,875 Now, as for the police, 542 00:22:22,910 --> 00:22:25,995 i would advise you to get out while you can. 543 00:22:26,030 --> 00:22:27,880 When they discover 544 00:22:27,915 --> 00:22:30,383 what is down in the courtyard there, 545 00:22:30,418 --> 00:22:33,502 they will be up here sans invitation. 546 00:22:33,537 --> 00:22:37,256 Without invitation. 547 00:22:37,291 --> 00:22:39,141 Uninvited. 548 00:22:39,176 --> 00:22:42,261 You- how you say? - You dig? 549 00:22:45,765 --> 00:22:50,152 Now, as to the laundry, this may be back by thursday 550 00:22:50,187 --> 00:22:51,404 or maybe friday... 551 00:22:52,655 --> 00:22:54,523 or maybe never. 552 00:22:57,026 --> 00:22:58,911 But i'm not a hog. 553 00:22:58,946 --> 00:23:02,415 This one, i will leave with you. 554 00:23:03,666 --> 00:23:04,917 Sacre nom. 555 00:23:04,952 --> 00:23:08,037 There is a picture of the courtyard down below, 556 00:23:08,072 --> 00:23:09,922 but there are more than two bodies. 557 00:23:09,957 --> 00:23:13,042 More than two bodies? 558 00:23:27,940 --> 00:23:31,694 Yes, there are more than two bodies down there. 559 00:23:31,729 --> 00:23:34,697 Just like the picture shows- 560 00:23:34,732 --> 00:23:37,199 one, two, three... 561 00:23:38,451 --> 00:23:40,319 four! 562 00:23:46,075 --> 00:23:47,326 Object known as a camera- 563 00:23:47,361 --> 00:23:49,211 vintage uncertain, origin unknown. 564 00:23:49,246 --> 00:23:52,965 But, for the greedy, the avaricious, the fleet of foot 565 00:23:53,000 --> 00:23:54,834 who can run a four-minute mile 566 00:23:54,869 --> 00:23:57,336 so long as they're chasing a fast buck, 567 00:23:57,371 --> 00:24:01,090 it makes believe that it's an ally, but it isn't at all. 568 00:24:01,125 --> 00:24:02,975 It's a beckoning come-on 569 00:24:03,010 --> 00:24:06,729 for a quick walk around the block in the twilight zone. 570 00:24:11,417 --> 00:24:14,487 Rod serling, creator ofthe twilight zone, 571 00:24:14,522 --> 00:24:16,355 will tell you about next week's story 572 00:24:16,390 --> 00:24:19,842 after this word from our alternate sponsor. 573 00:24:19,877 --> 00:24:21,410 And now, mr. Serling. 574 00:24:21,445 --> 00:24:22,611 This may look to you 575 00:24:23,245 --> 00:24:24,497 like any dismal, dark and dingy alley 576 00:24:24,532 --> 00:24:26,999 that lies skulking off a million myriad shadow-places 577 00:24:27,034 --> 00:24:28,868 off the main drags. 578 00:24:28,903 --> 00:24:31,370 Actually, it's the private domain of leprechauns and elves, 579 00:24:31,405 --> 00:24:34,507 and supplies the locale of next week'stwilight zone. 580 00:24:34,542 --> 00:24:37,009 With us for a very special occasion is mr. Art carney, 581 00:24:37,044 --> 00:24:38,878 who plays the role of a department store santa claus, 582 00:24:38,913 --> 00:24:42,014 and he plays it with the heart, the warmth and the vast talent 583 00:24:42,049 --> 00:24:43,265 that is uniquely carney. 584 00:24:43,300 --> 00:24:47,670 Onthe twilight zonenext week, "the night of the meek." 585 00:24:47,705 --> 00:24:51,440 Captioned by media access group at wgbh access. Wgbh. Org 586 00:25:29,228 --> 00:25:31,730 be sure and see the colgate-palmolive company's 587 00:25:31,765 --> 00:25:34,233 new comedy show my sister eileen 588 00:25:34,268 --> 00:25:37,987 wednesday night on many of these same stations. 589 00:25:38,987 --> 00:25:48,987 Downloaded From www.AllSubs.org 590 00:25:49,037 --> 00:25:53,587 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 40082

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