All language subtitles for Queer as Folk (US) - 5x04

af Afrikaans
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic Download
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bn Bengali
bs Bosnian
bg Bulgarian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
km Khmer
ko Korean
ku Kurdish (Kurmanji)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Lao
la Latin
lv Latvian
lt Lithuanian
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
ne Nepali
no Norwegian
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt Portuguese
pa Punjabi
ro Romanian
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
st Sesotho
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhala
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
te Telugu
th Thai
tr Turkish
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
or Odia (Oriya)
rw Kinyarwanda
tk Turkmen
tt Tatar
ug Uyghur
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,130 --> 00:00:02,100 Previously on Queer as Folk: 2 00:00:02,100 --> 00:00:03,800 I don't get why everyone left. 3 00:00:03,800 --> 00:00:08,010 It's one of the great mysteries of life... why do queers desert one club for another. 4 00:00:08,010 --> 00:00:11,110 You can't leave the diner, Debbie, you are the diner. 5 00:00:11,110 --> 00:00:13,520 Lipo and brow lift. 6 00:00:13,520 --> 00:00:16,070 So why not just have a little snip and clip and be done with it. 7 00:00:16,070 --> 00:00:18,410 I'd like to apply for the job. 8 00:00:18,410 --> 00:00:23,120 I know I don't have any qualifications... but if you could just give me a chance. 9 00:00:24,420 --> 00:00:27,790 Holy shit, would you look how long that line is? 10 00:00:27,790 --> 00:00:32,670 We can either work out an equitable agreement between Jenny Rebecca's three parents, 11 00:00:32,670 --> 00:00:35,790 or we can go to court and let a judge resolve this. 12 00:00:37,000 --> 00:00:43,074 Advertise your product or brand here contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today 13 00:02:04,960 --> 00:02:09,220 I know, everybody says Tuscany, the di Amalfi coast...- Positano, Ravello... 14 00:02:09,220 --> 00:02:11,740 Oh my God, the most beautiful place I've ever seen. 15 00:02:11,740 --> 00:02:15,120 And not to mention the men. - No, let's mention the men. 16 00:02:15,120 --> 00:02:18,410 I mean, is there any Italian with less than an 8-inch cock? 17 00:02:18,730 --> 00:02:21,680 How long you guys have been togther? - Four years - Four weeks. 18 00:02:21,980 --> 00:02:23,880 You guys got to get your stories straight. - It's complicated. 19 00:02:23,880 --> 00:02:26,130 Obviously... - What about you? 20 00:02:26,130 --> 00:02:28,020 Going on ten years. 21 00:02:28,020 --> 00:02:30,400 Shit! That's amazing, how do you do it? 22 00:02:30,400 --> 00:02:33,520 I'm not sure I want to hear this. - Communication, 23 00:02:33,520 --> 00:02:36,100 Honesty. - Respect. - And a lot of fucking around. 24 00:02:36,100 --> 00:02:38,580 A couple that plays together, stays together. 25 00:02:38,580 --> 00:02:40,020 That's what I've always said. 26 00:02:40,370 --> 00:02:42,550 Nothing will kill a marriage faster than monogamy. 27 00:02:42,550 --> 00:02:44,190 Yeah, tried that for about six months. 28 00:02:44,190 --> 00:02:48,450 Really split us up. He started lying, sleeping around... - You caught me fucking the neighbour. 29 00:02:48,450 --> 00:02:51,430 Instead of kicking him out, I thought "this guy is hot!", so... 30 00:02:51,430 --> 00:02:53,670 I joined them. - Solved all of our problems. 31 00:02:54,030 --> 00:02:58,440 In these sorry times of faggots hurling themselves like lemmings into the sea of matrimony, 32 00:02:58,440 --> 00:03:03,310 it's refreshing to find a couple who're hung, but not hung up. 33 00:03:04,230 --> 00:03:05,860 So how about we hook up again? 34 00:03:07,420 --> 00:03:10,690 We have a strict rule not to see anyone twice. 35 00:03:11,850 --> 00:03:12,490 But... 36 00:03:13,010 --> 00:03:14,490 since there are two of you... 37 00:03:53,460 --> 00:03:57,740 Okay, I'm a lowly writer-professor, for Christ sakes, not an MIT graduate. 38 00:03:58,100 --> 00:04:01,050 You need an advanced degree to put this fucking crib together. 39 00:04:01,050 --> 00:04:04,200 You're gonna have to watch that potty mouth of yours once J.R. arrives. 40 00:04:05,950 --> 00:04:11,050 It's official. According to the State of Pennsylvania I know have one-third custody of my daughter. 41 00:04:11,050 --> 00:04:13,220 Congratulations... 42 00:04:15,090 --> 00:04:17,700 I could have more if Brian hadn't stuck his nose in. 43 00:04:17,700 --> 00:04:20,210 Hey, hey, it's not his fault. 44 00:04:20,210 --> 00:04:23,270 He's the one who convinced Lindsey to fight for custody! 45 00:04:23,270 --> 00:04:27,360 Paid for her goddamn lawyer! - Well, she's J.R.'s mother too, it's only fair. 46 00:04:28,410 --> 00:04:29,910 I suppose. 47 00:04:30,350 --> 00:04:33,440 So now I get to split a baby three ways. 48 00:04:35,480 --> 00:04:39,070 You know, as long as she's loved and cared for, I'm sure it'll all work out. 49 00:04:41,240 --> 00:04:45,020 Would you help me put this thing together, before I lose my fucking... 50 00:04:47,750 --> 00:04:49,620 Yes, before I lose my mind. 51 00:04:50,760 --> 00:04:52,520 Your eggs are up. 52 00:04:53,090 --> 00:04:55,440 Wheat or rye, buttered or dry? 53 00:04:55,440 --> 00:04:58,050 Err, rye dry. - Rye dry. 54 00:04:58,050 --> 00:05:00,610 Sweetheart? - Yes? 55 00:05:00,610 --> 00:05:02,920 Will you sit down? Please? 56 00:05:02,920 --> 00:05:05,750 Stop waiting on me like I was in the diner? 57 00:05:06,160 --> 00:05:08,200 I guess old habits die hard. 58 00:05:08,200 --> 00:05:10,640 You wanted bacon, extra crispy... 59 00:05:10,640 --> 00:05:13,030 If you don't stop... 60 00:05:13,470 --> 00:05:14,960 I'm not leaving you a tip. 61 00:05:14,960 --> 00:05:17,940 Oh, and I was counting on a big one tonight. 62 00:05:17,940 --> 00:05:21,640 Honey... you're getting more than just a tip. 63 00:05:22,940 --> 00:05:24,610 Why, Carl Horbath... 64 00:05:26,060 --> 00:05:29,500 The more I'm around you the more I can't keep my hands off you. 65 00:05:31,390 --> 00:05:32,830 You're not bored, are you? 66 00:05:33,230 --> 00:05:35,200 Fucking our brains out? - No. 67 00:05:35,200 --> 00:05:36,220 Not working. 68 00:05:36,750 --> 00:05:38,220 Are you kidding? 69 00:05:39,540 --> 00:05:41,500 I don't know why I waited so long. 70 00:05:42,660 --> 00:05:45,090 I finally have my life all to myself. 71 00:05:46,120 --> 00:05:49,060 So what's on our lady of leisure's agenda for today? 72 00:05:49,760 --> 00:05:51,920 Oh, a matinee, 73 00:05:51,920 --> 00:05:55,090 interplay... perhaps a piece of Mauler. 74 00:05:55,090 --> 00:05:56,480 A piece of what? 75 00:05:57,610 --> 00:06:02,230 Thank God hanging around Libery Avenue made you a sex maniac and not a showtune queen. 76 00:06:04,740 --> 00:06:06,410 I'm going to go buy some pajamas. 77 00:06:07,230 --> 00:06:10,000 All of mine seem to be disappearing. - That's because I took them. 78 00:06:11,370 --> 00:06:13,310 I should've known! 79 00:06:13,710 --> 00:06:16,750 It was too good to be true, a cross dresser! 80 00:06:17,380 --> 00:06:22,390 You're sexier without them. - You know what this is, don't you. It is grand theft pajamas. 81 00:06:22,390 --> 00:06:25,390 I could have you arrested. But... 82 00:06:26,160 --> 00:06:28,290 I'd prefer to have you work it off. 83 00:06:34,220 --> 00:06:37,790 Good morning Brian, got these files we talked about, the Gerber accounts... 84 00:06:37,790 --> 00:06:41,780 Greenwald accounts, and payroll. 85 00:06:41,780 --> 00:06:45,800 I was up till one in the morning, got to get everything all signed and sealed. 86 00:06:46,530 --> 00:06:49,540 Now there's really nothing left to do for the next few days. 87 00:06:49,540 --> 00:06:52,070 I'm kind of free as a bird. 88 00:06:55,600 --> 00:06:59,040 Listen, I need to take a little time off. 89 00:06:59,800 --> 00:07:01,040 Vacation? 90 00:07:01,690 --> 00:07:03,210 Sabbatical? 91 00:07:03,210 --> 00:07:06,760 Drug binge? - A small medical procedure. 92 00:07:07,110 --> 00:07:09,600 Finally getting that penile enlargement? 93 00:07:11,100 --> 00:07:12,410 When are you leaving? 94 00:07:12,410 --> 00:07:13,540 Tomorrow. 95 00:07:13,540 --> 00:07:17,530 I know, it's short notice but they had a cancellation they said they can fit me in. But... 96 00:07:17,530 --> 00:07:20,610 I'll be back in a week. Ten days, tops. 97 00:07:20,950 --> 00:07:22,610 So what are you having done? 98 00:07:24,290 --> 00:07:26,620 What makes you think I'm having anything done? 99 00:07:26,620 --> 00:07:30,410 Um, the endless hours you spend pulling your face back? 100 00:07:30,410 --> 00:07:32,410 Smoothing your stomache? 101 00:07:34,410 --> 00:07:35,620 Spill. 102 00:07:36,590 --> 00:07:37,620 Uh, you know. 103 00:07:38,130 --> 00:07:39,620 Nothing major... 104 00:07:40,130 --> 00:07:45,260 Brow lift, blepharoplasty on my upper and lower eyelids, precision contour and liposuction on my gut. 105 00:07:46,020 --> 00:07:47,720 What price beauty. 106 00:07:48,340 --> 00:07:49,680 It ain't cheap. 107 00:07:49,980 --> 00:07:52,680 However, they are sucking my chin out for free. 108 00:07:56,120 --> 00:07:59,090 They way gay men are obsessed with youth and beauty! 109 00:07:59,090 --> 00:08:03,560 An entire subculture convinced that the meaning of happiness is no love handles. 110 00:08:03,770 --> 00:08:04,890 How pathetic. 111 00:08:05,880 --> 00:08:07,540 How tragic. 112 00:08:07,840 --> 00:08:10,120 How profitable. - Go ahead, 113 00:08:10,120 --> 00:08:12,230 mock my endeavors at self improvement. 114 00:08:12,230 --> 00:08:15,650 You know, not all of us are as lucky as you. We all can't be Brian Kinney. 115 00:08:15,650 --> 00:08:18,510 The rest of us poor schlobs, we have to work twice as hard to look half as good. 116 00:08:18,510 --> 00:08:22,090 I'm sorry Theodore, I don't mean to impune your noble efforts, 117 00:08:22,090 --> 00:08:24,090 I just think you're making a big mistake... 118 00:08:25,680 --> 00:08:27,700 ...not getting that penile enlargement. 119 00:08:31,550 --> 00:08:34,050 She's so adorable! 120 00:08:34,050 --> 00:08:35,220 Can I take her home? 121 00:08:35,220 --> 00:08:38,720 Sure, why not, everybody else is. 122 00:08:41,480 --> 00:08:42,830 I didn't know you had a guest. 123 00:08:43,360 --> 00:08:45,070 Justin's not a guest. 124 00:08:45,070 --> 00:08:47,940 Didn't we agree you're going to ring the bell, not just pop in? 125 00:08:47,940 --> 00:08:49,940 Hey Lindsey... 126 00:08:51,700 --> 00:08:52,830 Hello Justin. 127 00:08:53,330 --> 00:08:55,890 I haven't seen you since you've been back from L.A. - I know... 128 00:08:55,890 --> 00:08:58,440 I was planning on calling but I don't have your new number. 129 00:08:59,400 --> 00:09:01,200 I'm sure Brian could've given it to you. 130 00:09:03,540 --> 00:09:04,990 So how's Gus? 131 00:09:05,770 --> 00:09:08,690 Gus is doing great. He's growing as we speak. 132 00:09:09,240 --> 00:09:10,690 He's even starting to read. 133 00:09:12,260 --> 00:09:16,690 You go away for a few months and everything changes! - No shit. 134 00:09:18,600 --> 00:09:20,690 I have fallen hopelessly in love with your daughter. 135 00:09:20,690 --> 00:09:22,730 Well, she's pretty irresistable. - Yeah. 136 00:09:22,730 --> 00:09:25,410 I found this fleece sleepwear for the baby. 137 00:09:25,410 --> 00:09:27,530 It's starting to get chilly. - Tell me about it. 138 00:09:27,530 --> 00:09:30,440 I got three: one for you, one for me and one for when she's with Michael. 139 00:09:30,440 --> 00:09:32,020 You have to remind me? 140 00:09:32,020 --> 00:09:34,020 We all have to make sure she's taken care of. 141 00:09:34,020 --> 00:09:35,540 Oh, you've seen to that! 142 00:09:35,540 --> 00:09:38,300 Thanks to you I have to hand my daughter over to some stranger. 143 00:09:38,300 --> 00:09:40,630 Michael is hardly a stranger. - Why, he might as well be. 144 00:09:40,630 --> 00:09:42,820 What does he know about taking care of an infant? 145 00:09:42,820 --> 00:09:45,790 She should be with me instead of being tossed around like a fucking football. 146 00:09:45,790 --> 00:09:48,210 Maybe I'd better go. - No, we're going to have tea, goddamnit! 147 00:09:48,210 --> 00:09:50,760 I'll get it. - You don't live here anymore, remember? 148 00:09:50,760 --> 00:09:52,380 Of course, how could I forget. 149 00:09:52,380 --> 00:09:53,950 Well if you would've listened to me and done what I said, 150 00:09:53,950 --> 00:09:57,130 we wouldn't be playing this game of "baby baby, who's got the baby". 151 00:09:59,130 --> 00:10:00,960 That's what's killing you, isn't it. 152 00:10:01,520 --> 00:10:04,420 It has nothing to do with the baby or the custody agreement. 153 00:10:04,900 --> 00:10:10,050 It has to do with you, Melanie Marcus, not getting her way, not having complete control over everything. 154 00:10:10,050 --> 00:10:12,470 Well, tough shit, you don't. 155 00:10:14,920 --> 00:10:16,680 So get used to it. 156 00:10:17,650 --> 00:10:19,800 Um, I'll get the tea. 157 00:10:26,060 --> 00:10:29,830 Swim! Swim, come on, pull! 158 00:10:31,210 --> 00:10:32,470 Finish it off! 159 00:10:36,640 --> 00:10:39,740 How did I do? Two tenths of a second off your personal best. - Fucking A. 160 00:10:39,740 --> 00:10:42,790 It's because I'm nailing those flip turns. - Bet you ten bucks it's your place. 161 00:10:42,790 --> 00:10:43,950 Think so? - Know so. 162 00:10:43,950 --> 00:10:46,840 Alright everybody, let's gather up, let's go! 163 00:10:47,600 --> 00:10:48,840 Good practice! 164 00:10:48,840 --> 00:10:50,130 Very good! 165 00:10:50,130 --> 00:10:53,540 You swim this hard in two days and we'll hold our heads high at the meet. 166 00:10:53,540 --> 00:10:57,900 Now go get a good meal, get some sleep, and don't strain anything. 167 00:10:57,900 --> 00:10:59,550 Are you winners? - Yeah! 168 00:10:59,550 --> 00:11:02,790 I asked you, are you winners? - Yeah! - That's more like it. 169 00:11:02,790 --> 00:11:05,110 And put away the toys before you scrub down. 170 00:11:06,160 --> 00:11:08,880 Hey, I gotta say, first I had my doubts but Hunter's coming through gangbusters. 171 00:11:08,880 --> 00:11:12,290 I always knew he can do it, he just needed some incentive and some support. 172 00:11:12,550 --> 00:11:15,720 And friends. - And having a parent that's willing to take the time to work with him. 173 00:11:16,360 --> 00:11:18,040 Thanks. Appreciate it, coach. 174 00:11:18,040 --> 00:11:20,280 I'll see you at the meet. 175 00:11:26,810 --> 00:11:27,720 Good swim. 176 00:11:28,180 --> 00:11:29,920 Yeah, thanks, you too. 177 00:11:32,830 --> 00:11:34,980 Yo Hunter, you coming? - Yeah. 178 00:11:36,940 --> 00:11:39,220 Hey Hunter, we're going! - Wait up! 179 00:11:41,700 --> 00:11:44,740 Look, I know you think my getting a little work done is a frivolous expense, 180 00:11:44,740 --> 00:11:47,060 a foolish excersize in vanity. However, 181 00:11:47,060 --> 00:11:51,000 I just had the most fabulous idea for my next segment. 182 00:11:51,000 --> 00:11:54,780 Queer guy follows you through your entire surgery. 183 00:11:54,780 --> 00:11:56,780 Every little snip and clip. 184 00:11:56,780 --> 00:12:01,060 Then, I bring you on my show, 185 00:12:01,060 --> 00:12:03,680 for the big reveal. 186 00:12:06,830 --> 00:12:07,900 Or, 187 00:12:07,900 --> 00:12:12,610 I go with my avocado night-repair mask, as planned. 188 00:12:12,610 --> 00:12:14,320 Stick with the guacamole. 189 00:12:15,290 --> 00:12:18,110 But promise me, no matter how I come out, 190 00:12:18,110 --> 00:12:20,290 you'll still love me. - Honey, 191 00:12:20,290 --> 00:12:22,470 I never loved you for your looks to begin with. 192 00:12:22,470 --> 00:12:24,980 Not that there's a damn thing wrong with them. 193 00:12:24,980 --> 00:12:27,910 But if this is what you want to do, then I'm behind you. 194 00:12:27,910 --> 00:12:29,960 I've never mentioned I'm getting that done too. 195 00:12:31,010 --> 00:12:34,400 Make room, boys! - Ah, little Debbie, 196 00:12:34,400 --> 00:12:36,670 come home. - Yeah, just like a boomerang. 197 00:12:36,670 --> 00:12:38,050 Or Lassie. 198 00:12:38,050 --> 00:12:40,160 It's just like Norma Desmond making her comeback. 199 00:12:40,160 --> 00:12:42,140 I believe it was "return". 200 00:12:42,310 --> 00:12:45,130 I was just passing by, so I thought I'd poke my head in and see how things are going. 201 00:12:45,130 --> 00:12:47,130 Oh, things are going great! 202 00:12:48,460 --> 00:12:49,330 Yeah? 203 00:12:50,470 --> 00:12:51,130 I mean, 204 00:12:51,950 --> 00:12:54,170 it sure isn't the same without you... 205 00:12:54,170 --> 00:12:56,700 aah, what about you? - Well, 206 00:12:56,700 --> 00:12:58,240 since I've stopped working, 207 00:12:58,240 --> 00:13:02,240 Carl and I are getting plenty of exercise, if you get my drift. 208 00:13:02,240 --> 00:13:04,910 Yeah, it drifts all the way to my room. 209 00:13:04,910 --> 00:13:07,050 So I bought myself a new warmup suit. 210 00:13:10,290 --> 00:13:13,290 Yeah, that'll warm him up alright. - Dear... 211 00:13:13,290 --> 00:13:17,920 God, it's like a glory hole for straights. 212 00:13:18,180 --> 00:13:22,230 Okay, here you go boys... hey, Deb! When did you get here? 213 00:13:22,850 --> 00:13:23,950 I... ah... 214 00:13:23,950 --> 00:13:26,950 a couple of minutes ago, hi Loretta, I just stopped by to see... 215 00:13:26,950 --> 00:13:31,230 Hold that thought for one second. Spinach salad, dressing on the side for the queer guy, 216 00:13:31,230 --> 00:13:34,330 Chilli cheese, fries and a vanilla shake for the teddy bear. 217 00:13:34,330 --> 00:13:35,220 thanks a lot. 218 00:13:35,220 --> 00:13:36,930 Are you sure you should be eating that? 219 00:13:36,930 --> 00:13:39,590 Hey, what goes in today, gets sucked out tomorrow. 220 00:13:40,000 --> 00:13:42,050 Oh, I'm sorry Deb, what were you saying? 221 00:13:42,470 --> 00:13:45,020 Yeah, I was just asking, you know, how things are going. 222 00:13:45,020 --> 00:13:47,290 Hey Loretta, do you got any equal? 223 00:13:47,290 --> 00:13:49,590 Yeah. Wonder woman. 224 00:13:50,560 --> 00:13:51,870 I'm doing fucking great. 225 00:13:51,870 --> 00:13:53,150 She's doing fucking great. 226 00:13:53,150 --> 00:13:56,020 In fact, if I didn't know any better, I'd swear it was you. 227 00:13:56,470 --> 00:13:57,870 Yeah, me too. 228 00:13:57,870 --> 00:14:01,760 So what can I get you? Pink plate special today is codfish balls. 229 00:14:01,760 --> 00:14:04,240 What did they do with the rest of the codfish. 230 00:14:08,130 --> 00:14:10,190 Um, I'll have a bowl of pea soup, 231 00:14:10,190 --> 00:14:12,720 and please don't tell me that Pete pissed in it. 232 00:14:13,490 --> 00:14:15,380 Hey Lo, where's my tuna wrap? 233 00:14:15,380 --> 00:14:17,940 Any guy eating tuna here, is in the wrong joint. 234 00:14:17,940 --> 00:14:19,660 I'll bring you chicken noodle. 235 00:14:22,750 --> 00:14:24,390 She's a hoot, isn't she? 236 00:14:25,100 --> 00:14:25,990 Yeah... 237 00:14:27,160 --> 00:14:28,640 A hoot and a half. 238 00:14:31,460 --> 00:14:33,120 So, how was rehearsal? 239 00:14:33,120 --> 00:14:35,530 Oh, it's called practice. - Right. 240 00:14:35,530 --> 00:14:37,310 I kept my kick down. - And his head up. 241 00:14:37,310 --> 00:14:39,870 And I beat my best time by two tenths of a second. 242 00:14:39,870 --> 00:14:43,890 That's awesome dude, right on! I can't wait to come to the performance, I'll be there front row center. 243 00:14:43,890 --> 00:14:46,900 It's a meet, and they're called bleachers. - Yeah. 244 00:14:46,900 --> 00:14:51,620 Hey, up until now all I knew about swimming was from watching Esther Willams films with Ma. 245 00:14:51,620 --> 00:14:54,700 Ever seen the one where she rises up out of the water with the sparklers coming out her head? 246 00:14:54,700 --> 00:14:55,790 Hey boys. 247 00:14:55,790 --> 00:14:58,470 Hey, Brian. Come on pal, let's go carb up. 248 00:15:03,170 --> 00:15:05,360 You mind if I put this up? 249 00:15:07,400 --> 00:15:08,860 Hard heroes night? 250 00:15:08,860 --> 00:15:11,650 Every superhero fantasy you ever had... 251 00:15:11,650 --> 00:15:13,050 coming true. 252 00:15:14,730 --> 00:15:18,010 Well in that case, I'm not sure it's appropriate for my younger clientele. 253 00:15:18,010 --> 00:15:21,340 Well, if your younger clientele is drooling over those bulging biceps 254 00:15:21,340 --> 00:15:23,810 and bountiful baskets the way you did, 255 00:15:23,810 --> 00:15:25,990 they are going to grow up to be fags anyway. So... 256 00:15:26,410 --> 00:15:27,640 what's the difference. 257 00:15:28,230 --> 00:15:29,520 Yeah, okay. 258 00:15:34,360 --> 00:15:35,840 I expect you to be there. 259 00:15:36,440 --> 00:15:37,520 Don't think so. 260 00:15:37,520 --> 00:15:41,160 Well, with work and fixing up the house, these days we get to bed pretty early. 261 00:15:41,650 --> 00:15:43,810 Superheroes, Mikey! 262 00:15:46,130 --> 00:15:49,200 Superman on Superman action. 263 00:15:52,960 --> 00:15:54,140 I'll make you a deal. 264 00:15:55,180 --> 00:15:58,300 I'll come check out your new place if you come check out ours. 265 00:15:59,820 --> 00:16:02,480 Just like when we showed each other our dicks. 266 00:16:03,460 --> 00:16:04,160 Deal. 267 00:16:04,730 --> 00:16:07,390 Ben and I are having our new neighbours over for dinner tomorrow, 268 00:16:07,390 --> 00:16:09,390 why don't you and Justin join us. 269 00:16:11,270 --> 00:16:12,240 Fabulous. 270 00:16:13,820 --> 00:16:15,060 I'll bring a bottle. 271 00:16:15,060 --> 00:16:16,320 Red would be nice. 272 00:16:16,320 --> 00:16:17,690 I meant poppers. 273 00:16:24,530 --> 00:16:25,590 Interesting. 274 00:16:26,740 --> 00:16:28,240 Not bad. 275 00:16:30,220 --> 00:16:32,090 This one is intriguing. 276 00:16:32,390 --> 00:16:36,110 I've always responded to the raw, unfinished quality of your work. 277 00:16:37,680 --> 00:16:40,610 Is that a compliment, or are you letting me down easy? 278 00:16:40,610 --> 00:16:43,770 Well, if you're asking me if I'd consider you for the emerging artists show, 279 00:16:44,270 --> 00:16:46,410 the answer is yes. 280 00:16:47,330 --> 00:16:48,920 Thanks Linds. 281 00:16:50,020 --> 00:16:52,150 But I don't want to take advantage of our friendship. 282 00:16:52,150 --> 00:16:55,690 I don't consider it taken advantage of, provided the work is good. 283 00:16:57,640 --> 00:16:59,430 And that we're still friends. 284 00:16:59,430 --> 00:17:00,740 Why wouldn't we be? 285 00:17:01,280 --> 00:17:03,880 Often, at times where couples break up, 286 00:17:03,880 --> 00:17:06,890 friends gravitate towards one person or the other. 287 00:17:06,890 --> 00:17:11,060 So I wouldn't be surprised or hurt if you decided to gravitate towards Mel. 288 00:17:12,730 --> 00:17:13,580 Well... 289 00:17:16,700 --> 00:17:18,300 Actually, I would. 290 00:17:19,660 --> 00:17:21,220 I could never do that. 291 00:17:21,530 --> 00:17:23,720 You have always been... 292 00:17:24,170 --> 00:17:25,680 Mel and Linds. 293 00:17:25,680 --> 00:17:29,590 From the very beginning, when I first met Brian, you two were there for me. 294 00:17:29,590 --> 00:17:32,490 A shoulder to cry on, a couch to sleep on... 295 00:17:33,120 --> 00:17:34,730 I could never take sides. 296 00:17:36,070 --> 00:17:37,400 I love you both. 297 00:17:39,180 --> 00:17:42,110 Well, there's one thing Mel and I still agree on. 298 00:17:43,370 --> 00:17:46,020 That we feel the same way about you. 299 00:17:48,840 --> 00:17:52,350 I'm just sorry you had to witness our performance. - Oh please. 300 00:17:52,790 --> 00:17:55,930 Brian and I have had a couple of academy award winners ourselves. 301 00:17:57,020 --> 00:17:57,930 So... 302 00:17:59,260 --> 00:18:02,530 is there any chance you and Mel might... - Get back together? 303 00:18:03,430 --> 00:18:05,770 I was hoping at first we could. 304 00:18:06,600 --> 00:18:09,260 That we'd make up and all would be forgiven. 305 00:18:11,090 --> 00:18:12,550 But now... 306 00:18:15,450 --> 00:18:17,130 I guess you would call that, 307 00:18:17,560 --> 00:18:19,260 magical thinking. 308 00:18:20,700 --> 00:18:22,080 Well, you never know. 309 00:18:26,420 --> 00:18:27,490 Well, 310 00:18:27,490 --> 00:18:30,330 I think we should definitely consider this one. 311 00:18:31,340 --> 00:18:32,850 The exhuberance... 312 00:18:33,590 --> 00:18:34,850 The optimism. 313 00:18:38,640 --> 00:18:42,310 You're getting a 8.5, a 10, and a 13-inch skillet, 314 00:18:42,310 --> 00:18:44,450 once you're getting away that press... 315 00:18:45,160 --> 00:18:49,250 I'm off to make sure the Schnagles are still alive for their 60th anniversary party. 316 00:18:49,250 --> 00:18:53,090 And the studio, for queer guy. Don't forget to watch. 317 00:18:53,510 --> 00:18:55,440 I'm warming up the set. 318 00:18:55,440 --> 00:18:56,810 Look at you! 319 00:18:56,810 --> 00:19:00,160 Lounging in the caftan in the middle of the afternoon. 320 00:19:00,160 --> 00:19:03,080 Instead of walking off your tired feet at the diner. 321 00:19:03,080 --> 00:19:05,030 It's the dream of a lifetime. 322 00:19:06,700 --> 00:19:08,130 Yeah, I'm here. 323 00:19:08,430 --> 00:19:09,790 I want the griddle. 324 00:19:10,210 --> 00:19:13,300 And that last item, the olive... the olive pitter. 325 00:19:13,300 --> 00:19:16,340 And I want the citrus slicer, and the nut chopper, 326 00:19:16,340 --> 00:19:19,370 and throw in the dutch oven and the cheese grater. 327 00:19:22,030 --> 00:19:25,650 Wow, that holds a queue less than 15 seconds. 328 00:19:25,650 --> 00:19:27,360 Must be a new record. 329 00:19:28,860 --> 00:19:30,060 So what's wrong? 330 00:19:31,070 --> 00:19:32,660 Why should anything be wrong? 331 00:19:33,510 --> 00:19:34,980 Like you said, look at me. 332 00:19:35,410 --> 00:19:37,190 I'm the happiest woman in the world. 333 00:19:37,490 --> 00:19:39,650 I've got endless hours at my disposal, 334 00:19:39,650 --> 00:19:42,130 I can eat all the fucking ice cream I want, 335 00:19:42,130 --> 00:19:44,880 I can order to my heart's content on QVC. 336 00:19:44,880 --> 00:19:46,880 I almost ordered a llama. 337 00:19:47,890 --> 00:19:49,760 So why should anything be wrong? 338 00:19:51,020 --> 00:19:52,330 Except that... 339 00:19:52,870 --> 00:19:54,820 bitch stole my act! 340 00:19:56,360 --> 00:19:57,770 Which bitch? 341 00:19:57,770 --> 00:20:01,230 Which bitch do you think?! That... Pye person. 342 00:20:02,590 --> 00:20:04,450 She was so innocent at first. 343 00:20:04,450 --> 00:20:08,360 I don't know how to do anything, I don't have any experience. 344 00:20:09,140 --> 00:20:10,420 Man... 345 00:20:10,420 --> 00:20:13,390 She hustled me. She hustled me good. 346 00:20:13,890 --> 00:20:15,830 And I fell for it! 347 00:20:15,830 --> 00:20:20,080 Now she's wearing my t-shirts, and my vest with my buttons! 348 00:20:25,010 --> 00:20:28,050 I should have her arrested for... identity theft. 349 00:20:28,690 --> 00:20:30,050 You know, 350 00:20:30,480 --> 00:20:34,260 I think you're just having withdrawl symptoms. 351 00:20:34,260 --> 00:20:35,270 That's all. 352 00:20:35,800 --> 00:20:39,220 Remember, you wanted to leave. It was your decision. 353 00:20:39,600 --> 00:20:42,260 And as for Loretta, she's just... 354 00:20:42,550 --> 00:20:44,500 carrying on your legacy. 355 00:20:44,500 --> 00:20:46,770 Keeping the tradition alive. 356 00:20:46,770 --> 00:20:49,200 For me, I consider it the highest form of flattery. 357 00:20:49,200 --> 00:20:53,030 Or the lowest form of imitation! - Don't be angry. 358 00:20:53,310 --> 00:20:55,030 Be proud! 359 00:20:55,030 --> 00:20:56,730 Pass on the mantle. 360 00:20:56,730 --> 00:21:00,680 With dignity. Always dignity. 361 00:21:03,130 --> 00:21:05,610 And don't order a llama. I'm a virgin. 362 00:21:16,520 --> 00:21:18,040 Dignity. 363 00:21:18,940 --> 00:21:21,180 Always dignity. 364 00:21:28,890 --> 00:21:30,310 It's amazing. 365 00:21:30,310 --> 00:21:33,630 That I've been soaping your crack for the past ten minutes? 366 00:21:33,630 --> 00:21:35,630 And you haven't asked me to fuck you. 367 00:21:37,420 --> 00:21:41,060 That you and I would be together, and Melanie and Lindsey would be apart. 368 00:21:41,740 --> 00:21:45,740 Well who knows what wonders does fate have in store. 369 00:21:46,020 --> 00:21:49,460 I mean, if they can't make it, who can. 370 00:21:49,460 --> 00:21:51,530 Ding, ding, ding, ding! 371 00:21:51,860 --> 00:21:53,620 And the correct answer is, 372 00:21:53,620 --> 00:21:55,990 noone! - Stop being cynical. 373 00:21:55,990 --> 00:21:58,450 I'm not... being cynical. 374 00:21:58,860 --> 00:22:00,450 I'm being... - Realistic? 375 00:22:01,310 --> 00:22:04,130 Do you mind if I finish my own sentences? 376 00:22:05,010 --> 00:22:07,150 I despise when couples do that. 377 00:22:07,150 --> 00:22:09,580 Did you hear that, rubber ducky? He said "couples". 378 00:22:09,580 --> 00:22:11,440 I should quit while I'm ahead. 379 00:22:12,740 --> 00:22:15,350 Not before you give me some! 380 00:22:15,770 --> 00:22:18,120 Mon amour. - Mon amour... 381 00:22:18,570 --> 00:22:23,650 I love how other people's tragic marital play makes you romantic. 382 00:22:24,380 --> 00:22:25,650 Hard. 383 00:22:25,860 --> 00:22:26,920 Christ. 384 00:22:27,600 --> 00:22:29,830 What a big boner! 385 00:22:30,690 --> 00:22:33,240 All the better... - To fuck you with. 386 00:22:33,240 --> 00:22:36,270 What did I just warn you... - About finishing each other's sentences. 387 00:22:40,340 --> 00:22:43,380 Marriage is a doomsday machine. 388 00:22:43,380 --> 00:22:46,330 Destined to self-destruct. 389 00:22:46,330 --> 00:22:49,630 Fortunately, however, for you and I, 390 00:22:49,950 --> 00:22:53,520 will be spared such a dismal fate. 391 00:22:58,410 --> 00:23:00,930 Life is just a bowl of fairies? 392 00:23:01,950 --> 00:23:03,670 It's one of my favorites. 393 00:23:03,670 --> 00:23:05,120 I want you to have it. 394 00:23:05,580 --> 00:23:07,250 Well thanks. 395 00:23:07,250 --> 00:23:09,810 I thought you might be a little pissed about my new look. 396 00:23:09,810 --> 00:23:13,100 I love your new look. I loved it on me! 397 00:23:16,060 --> 00:23:19,530 And I'm proud of you for doing such a great job at the diner. 398 00:23:20,040 --> 00:23:20,820 Well... 399 00:23:21,240 --> 00:23:23,660 It's easy when you have such a great teacher. 400 00:23:25,550 --> 00:23:26,970 You going somewhere? 401 00:23:28,030 --> 00:23:29,180 Ah.. 402 00:23:30,270 --> 00:23:32,850 Yeah, you might say that... I'm... 403 00:23:32,850 --> 00:23:35,530 I'm leaving. - For the weekend? 404 00:23:36,950 --> 00:23:38,400 No, for good. 405 00:23:40,210 --> 00:23:44,500 My goddamn sister told my goddamn husband Darryl where I am. 406 00:23:44,500 --> 00:23:46,210 Now he's coming to get me. 407 00:23:46,210 --> 00:23:47,560 So where are you going? 408 00:23:47,560 --> 00:23:51,700 I haven't had time to figure it out yet, but I know I can't be here when he shows up. 409 00:23:51,700 --> 00:23:55,680 Now just hold on, you also can't just run away! - I can and I am. 410 00:23:55,680 --> 00:23:59,180 When the asshole shows up, just tell him to go fuck off! 411 00:24:01,250 --> 00:24:03,660 You do not tell Darryl Pye to fuck off. 412 00:24:03,660 --> 00:24:05,460 No sir, no way. 413 00:24:05,460 --> 00:24:07,860 And that's a fact. - Well here's another one. 414 00:24:07,860 --> 00:24:10,960 Where ever you go, he's going to find you the next time, too. 415 00:24:13,010 --> 00:24:14,430 So what do I do? 416 00:24:17,310 --> 00:24:18,910 I'll give you another t-shirt. 417 00:24:19,380 --> 00:24:21,400 You can wear it when he arrives. 418 00:24:22,030 --> 00:24:23,610 And what does that one say? 419 00:24:23,610 --> 00:24:25,610 It doesn't say anything. 420 00:24:25,880 --> 00:24:27,610 It's got this on it. 421 00:24:30,600 --> 00:24:32,780 Darryl will get the message. 422 00:24:43,010 --> 00:24:46,130 If you want tulips this spring, you have to plant the bulbs now. 423 00:24:46,130 --> 00:24:50,290 Same with hyacinths. - Ilay is the gardner in the family, I'm the chef. 424 00:24:50,880 --> 00:24:54,860 Well, rose bushes on each side of the front walk would look fabulous. 425 00:24:55,810 --> 00:25:00,350 I remember when I was a kid, planting pansies in the front yard with my mom. 426 00:25:00,350 --> 00:25:02,300 And look what bloomed! 427 00:25:02,300 --> 00:25:05,190 Which one of you is the gardner, and which one is the chef? 428 00:25:05,190 --> 00:25:06,810 I really like cooking. 429 00:25:06,810 --> 00:25:10,810 I and love planting my seed in some hole. 430 00:25:14,670 --> 00:25:15,870 In the ground. 431 00:25:18,530 --> 00:25:21,960 By the way, I brought you that petition. - Oh yeah, great, we'll be happy to sign. 432 00:25:21,960 --> 00:25:24,320 Trying to get the city to put in speed bumps. 433 00:25:24,320 --> 00:25:27,700 The way that some people come racing down the street, you'd think it was a drag strip. 434 00:25:27,700 --> 00:25:30,120 I doubt Brian's very interested in speed bumps. 435 00:25:30,120 --> 00:25:34,190 On the contrary. Speed bumps are extremely important. 436 00:25:34,190 --> 00:25:36,880 Especially before you go out dancing. 437 00:25:37,470 --> 00:25:41,830 What exactly do you do, Brian? - He's president and CEO of Kinnetic. 438 00:25:41,830 --> 00:25:44,050 The top advertising agency in Pittsburgh. 439 00:25:44,050 --> 00:25:48,060 I'm also president and CEO of Babylon, the top gay dance club in Pittsburgh. 440 00:25:48,060 --> 00:25:52,060 Babylon? We haven't been there in years. 441 00:25:52,060 --> 00:25:54,060 You two should come by... 442 00:25:54,390 --> 00:25:58,800 as my personal guests. - I hardly think Babylon suits our lifestyle. 443 00:26:01,070 --> 00:26:05,220 Can I get anybody anything? - Which lifestyle is that, Monty? 444 00:26:05,220 --> 00:26:06,920 I'm Monty. 445 00:26:07,640 --> 00:26:10,200 Which lifestyle is that, Monty? 446 00:26:10,200 --> 00:26:15,630 Well, these days we prefer to spend quite time at home with our kids. 447 00:26:15,980 --> 00:26:19,300 Rather than in a room full of drugged up Peter Pans. 448 00:26:20,270 --> 00:26:23,870 You know, so many couples I speak to these days feel that way. 449 00:26:24,230 --> 00:26:26,610 That's why I'm starting Monogamous Mondays. 450 00:26:28,450 --> 00:26:30,090 Brian's a real kidder. 451 00:26:30,090 --> 00:26:35,090 I hardly think the kind of promiscuous behavior that Babylon promotes is a laughing matter. 452 00:26:35,090 --> 00:26:38,570 Oh come on, fellows. Don't tell me that after... 453 00:26:38,570 --> 00:26:43,210 how many did you say, ten years together, you haven't had little extra-marital ass? - Brian! 454 00:26:44,310 --> 00:26:46,350 Actually, we never have. 455 00:26:46,350 --> 00:26:49,140 It's called being in a mature, loving relationship. 456 00:26:49,140 --> 00:26:53,230 That's called being dead. - How about you help me with dessert? 457 00:26:54,810 --> 00:26:56,420 First... 458 00:26:57,040 --> 00:26:58,420 presents. 459 00:26:58,850 --> 00:26:59,760 Now, 460 00:27:01,840 --> 00:27:04,280 I hope you boys don't already have one. 461 00:27:11,030 --> 00:27:12,870 You bought us a sling? 462 00:27:12,870 --> 00:27:15,390 You told me you were furnishing a playroom. 463 00:27:15,920 --> 00:27:17,990 Not that kind of playroom. 464 00:27:17,990 --> 00:27:19,420 Oh... 465 00:27:20,330 --> 00:27:23,850 still, I'm sure you'll get hours of enjoyment from it. 466 00:27:29,200 --> 00:27:31,680 So, what's for dessert? 467 00:27:41,100 --> 00:27:43,310 In our home! In front of our friends! 468 00:27:43,310 --> 00:27:46,070 You got to let it go, Michael. - I know, later than now. 469 00:27:46,070 --> 00:27:48,840 Right now I'd like to hold Brian's head underwater. 470 00:27:50,010 --> 00:27:53,200 Way to go, Callie! - Way to go honey! 471 00:27:55,730 --> 00:27:57,780 You can do it! 472 00:28:06,950 --> 00:28:10,950 Callie's parents are making fools of themselves. - Just ignore them, we're here for Hunter. 473 00:28:12,200 --> 00:28:16,610 Next up, boys 50 meter freestyle. - Oh my God, that's us. - Yep, yep. 474 00:28:23,780 --> 00:28:26,620 On your marks, get set... 475 00:28:35,890 --> 00:28:37,370 Go Hunter! 476 00:28:37,610 --> 00:28:39,530 Come on pal, come on! 477 00:28:41,980 --> 00:28:44,600 Go, go, go! 478 00:28:55,130 --> 00:28:57,120 Come on, Hunter, kick! 479 00:29:00,080 --> 00:29:01,580 Go, go, go! 480 00:29:02,330 --> 00:29:05,770 Yeah, yeah! - We won! - Yeah! 481 00:29:06,040 --> 00:29:08,690 Hunter won, go Hunter! 482 00:29:20,470 --> 00:29:22,570 Hunter, are you okay? 483 00:29:24,110 --> 00:29:26,450 Christ, I think he hurt himself! - Shit. 484 00:29:26,450 --> 00:29:28,300 Oh my God, you're bleeding... 485 00:29:28,300 --> 00:29:30,310 Coach, Hunter's hurt! 486 00:29:30,490 --> 00:29:32,380 Callie, don't! - Don't touch him! 487 00:29:32,380 --> 00:29:34,480 Get out of the pool, honey! - Oh my God... 488 00:29:34,480 --> 00:29:38,560 He's got AIDS! Get out of there! - Everybody out! Now! 489 00:29:40,480 --> 00:29:42,380 Everybody out! 490 00:29:46,310 --> 00:29:48,430 Come on pal, let's go get that looked at. 491 00:30:02,050 --> 00:30:04,040 That's a nice nose. 492 00:30:04,730 --> 00:30:07,730 Now that's what I call a chin. 493 00:30:08,280 --> 00:30:12,370 Ah! Teddy, if you don't get these cheeks, I will. 494 00:30:12,370 --> 00:30:15,030 What do you think? - I think I am going to puke. 495 00:30:15,030 --> 00:30:17,090 I warned you, didn't I? 496 00:30:17,090 --> 00:30:21,430 Didn't I warn you not to gorge yourself? - It's not that! Look at me. 497 00:30:21,430 --> 00:30:24,200 I look like a cow chart in the butcher shop. 498 00:30:24,200 --> 00:30:27,170 Just think, when they reveal the new you, 499 00:30:27,170 --> 00:30:31,640 you know, like the one with the hair lip and hump on the street makeover, you'll be weeping with joy. 500 00:30:41,480 --> 00:30:43,640 Never had any surgery before. 501 00:30:44,310 --> 00:30:46,740 Still have everything intact, you know. 502 00:30:47,210 --> 00:30:49,250 My appendix, my tonsils. 503 00:30:49,250 --> 00:30:51,600 Foreskin. - My wisdom teeth. 504 00:30:52,280 --> 00:30:54,310 This will be my first time under the knife. 505 00:30:54,310 --> 00:30:57,460 Pish... it's nothing. - You can sit there and "pish" all you want. 506 00:30:57,460 --> 00:31:01,340 I'm the one that's about to suffer severe pain for the sake of a new me. 507 00:31:02,580 --> 00:31:04,550 What if I don't like the new me? 508 00:31:05,410 --> 00:31:09,390 What's not to like? How about 30-inch waist, 509 00:31:09,390 --> 00:31:12,450 crow's feet that have flown the coup... 510 00:31:12,450 --> 00:31:14,110 cheek bones to die for. 511 00:31:14,110 --> 00:31:17,640 I'm not getting cheek bones. Should I have gotten cheek bones? Oh God. 512 00:31:18,600 --> 00:31:23,490 Maybe Brian is right. Maybe this obsession with youth and beauty is shallow, superficial, narcissistic... 513 00:31:23,490 --> 00:31:26,220 We are fags, for chrissake. 514 00:31:26,220 --> 00:31:29,430 Being obsessed with youth and beauty is our God-given right. 515 00:31:30,160 --> 00:31:31,430 Should I pull out? 516 00:31:31,750 --> 00:31:34,120 You're seriously asking me that question? 517 00:31:35,060 --> 00:31:40,880 Teddy, for as long as I have known you, you have never felt good, really good, about yourself. 518 00:31:40,880 --> 00:31:44,850 So if a few incisions and little back sucking is what it takes for you 519 00:31:44,850 --> 00:31:47,590 to finally be able to look in the mirror and smile, 520 00:31:47,590 --> 00:31:50,810 then I say it's not shallow and superficial. 521 00:31:51,300 --> 00:31:52,550 It's a blessing. 522 00:31:54,890 --> 00:31:55,980 Thank you, Em. 523 00:31:58,190 --> 00:31:59,470 Mr. Schmidt? 524 00:32:02,020 --> 00:32:03,400 Well, go on! 525 00:32:03,400 --> 00:32:07,120 Dr. DeMill is ready for your close-up. 526 00:32:15,500 --> 00:32:20,310 Yeah, okay... diapers, powder, popo-bear, 527 00:32:20,310 --> 00:32:21,680 lotion. 528 00:32:22,420 --> 00:32:24,540 Lotion. Where's the lotion? 529 00:32:27,120 --> 00:32:30,740 It's enough for a nudist colony. - Yeah, there's a baby, be prepared. 530 00:32:30,740 --> 00:32:33,270 Spoken like a true scout. 531 00:32:33,950 --> 00:32:35,270 It was a joke. 532 00:32:36,730 --> 00:32:39,050 All I have to do is express my milk. 533 00:32:39,670 --> 00:32:41,430 When's Michael picking her up? 534 00:32:41,990 --> 00:32:43,220 Tomorrow. 535 00:32:46,120 --> 00:32:46,990 Mel... 536 00:32:46,990 --> 00:32:50,270 He's better know what the fuck he's doing. - We'll find out. 537 00:32:52,050 --> 00:32:53,440 You know, I was thinking, 538 00:32:53,440 --> 00:32:55,440 why doesn't Gus stay with you tomorrow night? 539 00:32:55,440 --> 00:32:56,750 Hot date? 540 00:32:57,090 --> 00:33:00,010 No, I just thought it'd be nice for you to have some company. 541 00:33:00,010 --> 00:33:01,770 So I won't be lonely? 542 00:33:02,110 --> 00:33:05,840 Thanks, but as much as I would love to have him here, I don't need your pity. 543 00:33:05,840 --> 00:33:09,150 It's not pity. - No, it's you being gracious. 544 00:33:09,150 --> 00:33:12,060 Making a grand gesture. - I was only trying to think of you. 545 00:33:12,060 --> 00:33:14,780 Maybe you should have done that in the first place. 546 00:33:16,670 --> 00:33:19,320 Gus, honey! It's time to leave. 547 00:33:21,120 --> 00:33:24,590 I hope it goes well tomorrow. Despite what you think. 548 00:33:38,760 --> 00:33:40,890 Two hours for a fucking band aid. 549 00:33:40,890 --> 00:33:44,190 Good thing I wasn't decapitated, I'd be sitting in that goddamn emergency room 550 00:33:44,190 --> 00:33:46,190 holding my head all night. 551 00:33:46,440 --> 00:33:49,670 We're home now. - Go upstairs and relax, you'll feel better. 552 00:33:49,670 --> 00:33:52,590 Relax? - You have a concussion. 553 00:33:52,590 --> 00:33:55,520 The doctor told you... - I'm fine! There's nothing wrong with me, 554 00:33:55,520 --> 00:33:59,920 except thanks to Callie's asshole father and cunt mother... - Hey! 555 00:33:59,920 --> 00:34:01,490 Well she is! 556 00:34:01,490 --> 00:34:05,470 Now everyone at school thinks I have AIDS. - You don't have AIDS, you have HIV. 557 00:34:05,470 --> 00:34:08,540 Don't tell me, tell them. Except you don't have to. 558 00:34:09,510 --> 00:34:11,410 Because I'm never going back. 559 00:34:14,020 --> 00:34:15,830 You have nothing to be ashamed of. 560 00:34:15,830 --> 00:34:18,800 Yeah, right! - There's not. Your coach said he's going to talk to everyone and explain 561 00:34:18,800 --> 00:34:22,940 that you can't get the virus from a few drops of blood in a chlorinated pool. 562 00:34:23,590 --> 00:34:27,570 If you want to take the day off tomorrow, that's fine by us. But... 563 00:34:27,570 --> 00:34:29,430 sooner or later you're going to have to go back. 564 00:34:29,430 --> 00:34:33,120 Yeah, and when you do, you can tell them you are the 50-meter freestyle champion. 565 00:34:40,610 --> 00:34:44,360 They're supposed to be flying magnificantly through the air. 566 00:34:44,360 --> 00:34:49,230 Superheroes, not two crash test dummies in a Hyundai factory. 567 00:34:49,230 --> 00:34:52,990 Try it again! - It looks pretty good. - Pretty good is not good enough! 568 00:34:52,990 --> 00:34:55,630 When Michael sees it, I want him to lose his mind. 569 00:34:55,630 --> 00:34:59,180 And his breath, and his bladder control. 570 00:34:59,180 --> 00:35:00,290 And then what? 571 00:35:00,870 --> 00:35:04,470 Come running back to Babylon where he belongs? 572 00:35:05,320 --> 00:35:08,200 It ain't going to happen, he's happy where he is. 573 00:35:08,200 --> 00:35:13,380 Gay men cannot live on tulip beds and speed bumps alone. 574 00:35:13,690 --> 00:35:18,760 Sooner or later the Serengeti will call, and he'll pace restlessly in his cage, 575 00:35:18,760 --> 00:35:20,870 howling at the moon... 576 00:35:20,870 --> 00:35:26,100 and he'll break free from suburbia and return to the jungle, where he blongs. 577 00:35:27,970 --> 00:35:32,580 Okay! Spaz-man and klutz-boy, get it right! 578 00:35:34,830 --> 00:35:37,590 I need another mac and cheese and a turkey meatloaf. 579 00:35:38,640 --> 00:35:41,920 Excuse me maam, aren't you going to take my order? 580 00:35:45,940 --> 00:35:48,010 Hey, I didn't order this! 581 00:35:48,010 --> 00:35:49,950 Try. You'll like it. 582 00:35:52,690 --> 00:35:57,710 Now honey, before you say anything, I just want to say how truely and deeply sorry I am... 583 00:35:57,710 --> 00:35:59,600 for our little spat. 584 00:36:01,330 --> 00:36:02,730 How's your jaw? 585 00:36:03,400 --> 00:36:07,120 Well, I could chew the salisbury steak in this place, so I guess it's okay. 586 00:36:08,210 --> 00:36:10,060 Look, I know I lost my temper. 587 00:36:10,060 --> 00:36:12,060 I promise I won't do that again. 588 00:36:12,630 --> 00:36:14,440 That's what you always say. 589 00:36:14,440 --> 00:36:17,630 Come on... it's time for you to come home. 590 00:36:19,200 --> 00:36:22,340 Darryl, I... - You don't have to apologize. 591 00:36:22,850 --> 00:36:23,930 I forgive you. 592 00:36:26,260 --> 00:36:28,060 You forgive me? 593 00:36:28,060 --> 00:36:30,170 Forget all about what happened. 594 00:36:30,820 --> 00:36:32,170 Let's get your coat. 595 00:36:33,490 --> 00:36:35,360 I don't want to forget it. 596 00:36:37,570 --> 00:36:39,400 I'm not going back home. 597 00:36:39,740 --> 00:36:41,400 I'm staying here. 598 00:36:43,630 --> 00:36:47,000 What, slinging hash? In some fag diner? 599 00:36:49,310 --> 00:36:52,700 Is that way you're going to take care of yourself? To be independent? 600 00:36:53,210 --> 00:36:56,410 Now that would be funny, if it weren't so damn pitiful! 601 00:36:57,760 --> 00:36:59,200 I'm not pitiful. 602 00:37:01,770 --> 00:37:03,690 What do you think you're proving here, Loretta? 603 00:37:04,260 --> 00:37:05,880 That you're going to live without a man? 604 00:37:06,470 --> 00:37:08,050 That you're a lezzie? 605 00:37:09,490 --> 00:37:11,290 I am, Darryl. 606 00:37:12,960 --> 00:37:15,630 I am a lesbian and I'm not ashamed. 607 00:37:15,980 --> 00:37:18,170 Well, you ought to be. 608 00:37:20,730 --> 00:37:23,990 Your problem is just you haven't been getting enough recently. 609 00:37:23,990 --> 00:37:27,110 I'm going to take care of that. - No, you're not. 610 00:37:28,330 --> 00:37:30,560 Now what did you say to me? - I told you. 611 00:37:30,560 --> 00:37:34,150 I'm telling you, my truck is parked outside, now let's go! 612 00:37:38,370 --> 00:37:39,410 What tha... 613 00:37:40,100 --> 00:37:43,770 Exactly what part of "fuck off" don't you understand? 614 00:37:43,770 --> 00:37:45,040 Who the hell are you? 615 00:37:45,510 --> 00:37:47,690 I'm the one with the baseball bat. 616 00:37:49,210 --> 00:37:51,110 It's between me and my wife. 617 00:37:51,110 --> 00:37:53,110 And she's trying to tell you something. 618 00:37:53,460 --> 00:37:57,190 Only you're not getting it through your head, so maybe my friend here can help. 619 00:37:57,390 --> 00:37:59,650 Let's go, come on. - No! 620 00:38:00,400 --> 00:38:01,990 I said no! 621 00:38:03,340 --> 00:38:06,110 You are not a nice person, Darryl. 622 00:38:07,530 --> 00:38:10,620 You don't treat me with the respect I deserve. 623 00:38:11,230 --> 00:38:13,800 And I don't love you anymore. 624 00:38:19,110 --> 00:38:20,990 I hope you heard it this time. 625 00:38:25,860 --> 00:38:30,790 Now you'd better leave before me and my fag friends beat the living shit out of you. 626 00:39:10,510 --> 00:39:12,190 How's your head? 627 00:39:12,650 --> 00:39:13,880 I'll live. 628 00:39:16,560 --> 00:39:19,730 Look, I'm sorry for what happened. 629 00:39:20,150 --> 00:39:22,020 What are you sorry for? 630 00:39:22,020 --> 00:39:25,510 I'm the one who was stupid enough to believe no one would ever find out. 631 00:39:27,470 --> 00:39:29,070 Hey Callie! 632 00:39:29,070 --> 00:39:31,140 What are you wasting your time for? He's a fag! 633 00:39:31,140 --> 00:39:34,700 I hear the way he got AIDS is when old geezers fuck him up the ass. 634 00:39:34,700 --> 00:39:36,200 For cash. 635 00:39:36,840 --> 00:39:37,890 You told! 636 00:39:38,230 --> 00:39:41,080 No, I swear I didn't! - Hey, faggot! 637 00:39:41,080 --> 00:39:43,320 Here's 5 bucks, why don't you suck my cock? 638 00:39:43,320 --> 00:39:46,060 I charge way more than that for assholes like you. 639 00:39:46,060 --> 00:39:50,390 Lucas, stop it! - You want to get AIDS? Then go on, hit me, get my blood all over you! 640 00:39:51,620 --> 00:39:52,860 Come on, come on. 641 00:39:53,680 --> 00:39:54,860 Faggot! 642 00:39:58,420 --> 00:39:59,770 Are you okay? 643 00:40:29,660 --> 00:40:33,300 I'm sorry, but I can't promise you Schmidt. 644 00:40:33,640 --> 00:40:36,650 He's the hottest guy in town, even I want to fuck him. 645 00:40:37,280 --> 00:40:38,360 Ted... 646 00:40:40,290 --> 00:40:41,280 Teddy? 647 00:40:41,700 --> 00:40:45,480 I'm sowwy Bwian, you can't haf me. 648 00:40:45,480 --> 00:40:46,970 Teddy... 649 00:40:47,850 --> 00:40:49,080 Ted? 650 00:40:50,040 --> 00:40:52,520 Teddy... 651 00:40:53,710 --> 00:40:55,810 It's me. Em. 652 00:40:56,170 --> 00:40:58,950 Aah. I must've been dreaming. 653 00:40:58,950 --> 00:41:00,450 I'll say! 654 00:41:01,000 --> 00:41:04,520 How do you feel? - Like I was hit by a bus and left for dead, 655 00:41:04,520 --> 00:41:07,220 and then stepped on by an elephant. 656 00:41:08,000 --> 00:41:09,660 How do I look? 657 00:41:10,130 --> 00:41:11,930 A tad... puffy. 658 00:41:12,610 --> 00:41:17,290 But the doctor said, give it a few days and you'll be gorgeous. 659 00:41:17,290 --> 00:41:19,420 Ah-ah. Right. 660 00:41:20,060 --> 00:41:22,700 Thank you for seeing me through this, Em. 661 00:41:22,700 --> 00:41:26,900 Please. When I pull my Joan Rivers, you'll be right there with me. 662 00:41:27,330 --> 00:41:31,100 Now you lie there and rest, okay? 663 00:41:31,100 --> 00:41:34,570 And remember! No peeking. 664 00:41:47,480 --> 00:41:49,440 No peeking. 665 00:41:52,550 --> 00:41:54,870 Fuck no peeking. 666 00:41:54,870 --> 00:41:59,000 The way I feel, I'm allowed to peek. 667 00:42:31,920 --> 00:42:34,390 Ah! Did you see his face? 668 00:42:34,810 --> 00:42:36,790 Pissed as hell. 669 00:42:37,170 --> 00:42:40,810 Which is exactly what I'm going to be if I have another one of these. 670 00:42:40,810 --> 00:42:42,810 Me too. 671 00:42:44,810 --> 00:42:47,000 Another shooter! 672 00:42:50,640 --> 00:42:52,440 I'm so proud of you! 673 00:42:52,990 --> 00:42:56,720 Tell that former asshole of yours to fuck off. 674 00:42:56,720 --> 00:42:59,980 Well, I never could've done it without you and your big bat. 675 00:42:59,980 --> 00:43:01,810 Bigger than his, I'll bet. 676 00:43:02,010 --> 00:43:03,870 You better believe it. 677 00:43:04,880 --> 00:43:07,300 You don't have to be afraid of him anymore. 678 00:43:11,220 --> 00:43:13,750 I don't know how I could ever repay you, Deb. 679 00:43:16,060 --> 00:43:18,200 First you give me a new life, and... 680 00:43:18,970 --> 00:43:20,630 and then you save it. 681 00:43:21,470 --> 00:43:25,460 Honey, you don't owe me a damn thing. 682 00:43:26,450 --> 00:43:29,330 But there is something that you owe yourself. 683 00:43:29,900 --> 00:43:31,350 Happiness. 684 00:43:32,750 --> 00:43:36,440 You've been through a lot of shit, and you deserve it. 685 00:43:37,010 --> 00:43:38,980 Someone to share it with. 686 00:43:39,310 --> 00:43:41,320 Someone who'll treat you. 687 00:43:49,430 --> 00:43:52,420 I think I'd better go home before the sun comes up. 688 00:43:52,720 --> 00:43:55,970 Me too, I have the early shift at the diner. 689 00:43:55,970 --> 00:44:00,210 Well, when you open up the place, think of me in bed. 690 00:44:00,620 --> 00:44:02,090 I will. 691 00:44:12,340 --> 00:44:13,710 Love you. 692 00:44:15,890 --> 00:44:16,970 You too. 693 00:44:19,530 --> 00:44:22,010 Bye. - Bye. 694 00:44:25,610 --> 00:44:29,200 Here's the breast milk, sterilized bottles, diapers, 695 00:44:29,200 --> 00:44:31,600 bottle warmer, her blanket. 696 00:44:31,600 --> 00:44:35,190 We have blankets. - She slept with this one every night since was born. 697 00:44:35,190 --> 00:44:37,690 It's an antique Lindsey bought for her. 698 00:44:40,050 --> 00:44:41,630 We'll see she sleeps with it. 699 00:44:43,980 --> 00:44:45,680 Oh, and... 700 00:44:45,990 --> 00:44:49,920 Here are the feeding instructions. It's pretty much every three hours, or... 701 00:44:49,920 --> 00:44:52,640 when she's hungry. She'll let you know. 702 00:44:54,330 --> 00:44:57,090 Oh, and make sure the milk is warm but not too hot. 703 00:45:11,690 --> 00:45:15,020 So if anything happens, or if there are any questions... 704 00:45:15,540 --> 00:45:17,020 Yeah, we'll call. 705 00:45:25,300 --> 00:45:27,180 Goodbye, precious. 706 00:45:34,000 --> 00:45:34,820 Bye... 707 00:46:57,970 --> 00:46:59,900 He might still come. 708 00:47:00,950 --> 00:47:01,900 Fuck him. 709 00:47:04,150 --> 00:47:06,720 More caped crusaders for us. 710 00:47:07,305 --> 00:47:13,382 Craving big poker? Feast your eyes on Venom. $5 million GTD. AmericasCardroom.com55886

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.