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1
00:00:27,261 --> 00:00:29,028
[MUSIC]
2
00:00:30,765 --> 00:00:34,033
[HEAVY BREATHIN]
3
00:00:34,035 --> 00:00:37,036
[KIDS LAUGHING]
4
00:00:37,038 --> 00:00:39,071
[FIRECRACKER POPS]
5
00:00:50,384 --> 00:00:53,385
Jordan! Ted! Stop it!
Please, leave me alone!
6
00:00:53,387 --> 00:00:55,521
Listen to this
freaking gaylord!
7
00:00:55,523 --> 00:00:58,190
Why are you such a
fudge packer, Jeffrey?
8
00:00:58,192 --> 00:01:00,392
Ya, why do you look at our
nads in the shower?
9
00:01:00,394 --> 00:01:03,195
I do not! I like girls! Babes!
10
00:01:03,197 --> 00:01:04,596
Just like you guys!
11
00:01:04,598 --> 00:01:06,899
Then tell me,
12
00:01:06,900 --> 00:01:09,201
How many girls have you
fingered at camp this summer?
13
00:01:09,203 --> 00:01:10,202
Tons!
14
00:01:10,204 --> 00:01:11,704
Liar!
15
00:01:11,705 --> 00:01:13,205
Well, how many have
you fingered?
16
00:01:13,207 --> 00:01:15,207
I used a different finger
on each girl.
17
00:01:15,209 --> 00:01:17,609
Diana, Naomi, Tova, Sherri,
18
00:01:17,611 --> 00:01:21,413
Annie, Gaby, Racquel,
Betsie and Jodi.
19
00:01:21,415 --> 00:01:24,750
And I'm saving my magic thumb
here for Jennifer Peters.
20
00:01:24,752 --> 00:01:27,419
Jennifer Peters?
Ha ha ha!
21
00:01:27,421 --> 00:01:29,855
She would never let you
lay a finger on her!
22
00:01:29,857 --> 00:01:31,357
We'll see about that.
23
00:01:31,358 --> 00:01:32,858
We both frenched her
you fuck head!
24
00:01:32,860 --> 00:01:34,626
She's too good for you A-holes!
25
00:01:34,628 --> 00:01:37,229
She's pure.
She loves me!
26
00:01:37,231 --> 00:01:39,231
She will never fall
under your spell!
27
00:01:39,233 --> 00:01:40,866
What did you just say
to us, cock boy?
28
00:01:40,868 --> 00:01:43,435
Ya, I couldn't hear you
over this fire cracker!
29
00:01:43,437 --> 00:01:45,237
NO, NO, NO!
Please, don't do it!
30
00:01:45,239 --> 00:01:46,105
Do it man!
31
00:01:46,107 --> 00:01:47,372
Cawabunga, butt pipe!
32
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[BOOM]
33
00:01:49,577 --> 00:01:52,644
AHH!
34
00:01:53,647 --> 00:01:55,714
[MUSIC CONTINUES]
35
00:02:06,160 --> 00:02:09,461
I cannot believe I used to pay
some bitch in Burbank
36
00:02:09,463 --> 00:02:13,265
80 bucks, 80 bucks to hinder
this shit on me.
37
00:02:13,267 --> 00:02:15,267
A fuckin' dollar
for this Sharpie, dude.
38
00:02:15,269 --> 00:02:17,169
Entrepreneur, baby.
39
00:02:17,171 --> 00:02:19,271
Hey, I still need you to
do the back though.
40
00:02:19,273 --> 00:02:21,473
Ya. What does it say?
41
00:02:21,475 --> 00:02:23,909
"Fuck the world."
42
00:02:23,911 --> 00:02:26,178
[MUSIC]
43
00:02:28,682 --> 00:02:30,749
[KNOCK KNOCK]
44
00:02:36,490 --> 00:02:39,558
Hi, I'm a friend of Jordan's.
45
00:02:41,295 --> 00:02:44,363
Dude, you got female company.
46
00:02:47,301 --> 00:02:51,503
Rachel. Hey, what a surprise.
Is everything alright?
47
00:02:51,505 --> 00:02:53,705
Ya, everything is fine.
Sorry, I was just
48
00:02:53,707 --> 00:02:56,308
in the neighborhood.
Is this a bad time?
49
00:02:56,310 --> 00:02:58,944
Oh, no.
I was just taking a nap.
50
00:02:58,946 --> 00:03:00,712
Oh ya?
51
00:03:00,714 --> 00:03:02,714
Can I come lay down with you?
52
00:03:02,716 --> 00:03:05,517
Oh, no.
I was taking a nap
53
00:03:05,519 --> 00:03:07,519
I gotta go now.
I have an audition.
54
00:03:07,521 --> 00:03:09,321
Oh, I'm sorry.
I'll get out of your way.
55
00:03:09,323 --> 00:03:10,322
What time is it?
56
00:03:10,324 --> 00:03:12,324
It's, um, it's 3 o'clock.
57
00:03:12,326 --> 00:03:13,959
Ya. I gotta...
3? Wow...
58
00:03:13,961 --> 00:03:16,962
I'm sorry, It's actually
2 o'clock.
59
00:03:16,964 --> 00:03:17,765
I'm late.
60
00:03:20,334 --> 00:03:21,433
Ok.
61
00:03:21,434 --> 00:03:22,533
Bye. It was great seeing you!
Thanks for coming.
62
00:03:22,536 --> 00:03:24,369
Ya. it was really nice
seeing you too.
63
00:03:24,371 --> 00:03:26,338
Ya, right.
64
00:03:26,340 --> 00:03:28,340
Hey, I brought this back
for you.
65
00:03:28,342 --> 00:03:30,342
It's the shirt you let me
wear when I stayed over.
66
00:03:30,344 --> 00:03:31,544
Sorry I've had it a long time
67
00:03:31,545 --> 00:03:33,345
it's just kinda hard to
track you down.
68
00:03:33,347 --> 00:03:35,347
You could of kept it.
It's fine. Thanks.
69
00:03:35,349 --> 00:03:39,985
And I made this CD for you.
It's some of my songs.
70
00:03:39,987 --> 00:03:42,554
They're just demos so don't
judge me on them yet.
71
00:03:42,556 --> 00:03:44,556
That's awesome.
That's really cool.
72
00:03:44,558 --> 00:03:47,759
Some of them are
actually about you.
73
00:03:47,761 --> 00:03:49,361
I'm famous!
74
00:03:49,363 --> 00:03:51,363
Cool. Which ones?
75
00:03:51,365 --> 00:03:52,965
I think you're going to know.
76
00:03:52,966 --> 00:03:54,566
Just listen to it if
you get bored.
77
00:03:54,568 --> 00:03:56,635
Can't wait!
78
00:03:57,371 --> 00:03:59,371
Jordan, you're not
wearing any shoes?
79
00:03:59,373 --> 00:04:00,772
They're in the car.
80
00:04:00,774 --> 00:04:01,840
Oh.
81
00:04:03,377 --> 00:04:07,246
Bye. Have a...
Have a really good audition.
82
00:04:10,584 --> 00:04:12,651
[MUSIC]
83
00:04:39,413 --> 00:04:42,414
Could you please not...
It's not cute...
84
00:04:42,416 --> 00:04:43,615
It's just a picture.
85
00:04:43,617 --> 00:04:44,616
No. Please don't.
86
00:04:44,618 --> 00:04:46,418
Please. Thank you.
87
00:04:46,420 --> 00:04:49,054
Okay, fine. Don't freak out.
88
00:04:49,056 --> 00:04:51,623
I don't want to be on
the internet.
89
00:04:51,625 --> 00:04:55,527
Why don't you take your
jacket off. Stay awhile.
90
00:04:58,632 --> 00:05:00,832
How many lunches is this now?
91
00:05:00,834 --> 00:05:02,634
Are you counting our lunches?
92
00:05:02,636 --> 00:05:04,136
No.
93
00:05:04,137 --> 00:05:05,637
It's called getting to
know each other.
94
00:05:05,639 --> 00:05:08,073
I know. I just...
95
00:05:08,075 --> 00:05:09,508
I think I'm better at
night time.
96
00:05:09,510 --> 00:05:11,443
I'm more of a night time
type of guy.
97
00:05:11,445 --> 00:05:13,762
Really?
98
00:05:13,763 --> 00:05:16,080
Because that's when your texts
go from being clever and sweet
99
00:05:16,083 --> 00:05:18,650
to super creepy and weird.
100
00:05:18,652 --> 00:05:21,453
You can't judge my tone over
text message.
101
00:05:21,455 --> 00:05:24,456
You don't know the tone
I'm going for.
102
00:05:24,458 --> 00:05:27,859
What tone were you going for
with this one...
103
00:05:27,861 --> 00:05:31,463
"I want to lay you on your
stomach and kiss down your legs,
104
00:05:31,465 --> 00:05:34,866
down the back of your knees
and take off your socks
105
00:05:34,868 --> 00:05:39,938
and suck and bite your toes,
bottom of feet."
106
00:05:42,476 --> 00:05:44,476
Yeah, that's the tone...
107
00:05:44,477 --> 00:05:46,477
You know when I hear my phone
buzz at one in the morning I go,
108
00:05:46,480 --> 00:05:48,880
Here it comes. And then I
look and I'm like,
109
00:05:48,882 --> 00:05:51,483
"Shocker. There's Teddy's
penis again."
110
00:05:51,485 --> 00:05:54,486
I was trying to start a
dialogue with you but...
111
00:05:54,488 --> 00:05:56,121
Oh...
112
00:05:56,123 --> 00:05:58,807
"Then I'll lick your little
asshole and press my face
113
00:05:58,808 --> 00:06:01,492
into your perfect little cunt
until you come into my face.
114
00:06:01,495 --> 00:06:04,696
Then I'm gonna do it again.
It'll be fun."
115
00:06:04,698 --> 00:06:06,598
Do you really think
116
00:06:06,599 --> 00:06:08,499
that this is going to make me
want to sleep with you?
117
00:06:08,502 --> 00:06:09,901
I guess not.
118
00:06:09,903 --> 00:06:10,403
[MUSIC]
119
00:06:23,117 --> 00:06:24,001
[GIRLS CHATING]
120
00:06:49,176 --> 00:06:52,944
Hey. Do you girls have
an extra cigarette?
121
00:06:52,946 --> 00:06:55,747
[Fake Chinese Gibberish]
122
00:06:55,749 --> 00:06:57,549
What's that mean?
Are they menthol?
123
00:06:57,551 --> 00:07:00,619
[Fake Chinese Gibberish]
124
00:07:02,189 --> 00:07:03,755
How's the water tonight, ladies?
125
00:07:03,757 --> 00:07:07,826
[Fake Chinese Gibberish]
126
00:07:13,567 --> 00:07:14,299
Do we go?
127
00:07:14,300 --> 00:07:15,180
We should go.
128
00:07:16,203 --> 00:07:18,770
That was a real,
real bad showing.
129
00:07:18,772 --> 00:07:21,206
Well, what did you expect?
130
00:07:21,208 --> 00:07:25,677
There wasn't one person there
that wanted to talk to us.
131
00:07:28,582 --> 00:07:29,581
Hey! Fuck you!
132
00:07:29,583 --> 00:07:31,650
[Giggle]
133
00:07:34,922 --> 00:07:36,221
You got him.
134
00:07:36,223 --> 00:07:38,223
You got him pretty good.
135
00:07:38,225 --> 00:07:40,792
And we're back.
136
00:07:40,794 --> 00:07:43,228
I am so fucking exhausted.
137
00:07:43,230 --> 00:07:46,498
Yeah, it's 10:40 at night.
138
00:07:48,602 --> 00:07:51,236
What's this CD with
the bunny on it?
139
00:07:51,238 --> 00:07:52,804
Says "Hello"
140
00:07:52,806 --> 00:07:55,607
Ya. It's that girl um...
141
00:07:55,609 --> 00:07:58,610
Rachel from a couple months ago.
142
00:07:58,612 --> 00:07:59,544
Rachel?
143
00:07:59,546 --> 00:08:00,612
With the bangs?
144
00:08:00,614 --> 00:08:03,615
No. Doesn't ring a bell.
145
00:08:03,617 --> 00:08:05,817
Well this is like her
singing the songs?
146
00:08:05,819 --> 00:08:07,619
Is it her songs?
147
00:08:07,621 --> 00:08:08,820
Ya.
148
00:08:08,822 --> 00:08:12,257
Ya some of them are
about me I guess.
149
00:08:12,259 --> 00:08:15,527
I'm sure it's...
it's gonna be terrible.
150
00:08:17,264 --> 00:08:18,830
[MUSIC]
151
00:08:18,832 --> 00:08:25,837
Hello.You got me
152
00:08:25,839 --> 00:08:29,641
Under your spellAnd I... "
153
00:08:29,643 --> 00:08:31,510
This sucks.
154
00:08:32,279 --> 00:08:34,646
Is this a joke?
155
00:08:34,648 --> 00:08:37,649
No. That's her voice.
This is...
156
00:08:37,651 --> 00:08:41,286
She told me about this. She told
me she was working on some stuff
157
00:08:41,288 --> 00:08:44,756
You got a t-shirt?
She gave you a t-shirt too?
158
00:08:52,666 --> 00:08:54,533
Why do you still have this?
159
00:08:56,870 --> 00:08:59,542
Jennifer Peters gave it to me
160
00:08:59,568 --> 00:09:02,674
right before we got kicked out.
161
00:09:02,676 --> 00:09:06,878
I guess I never threw it
away. Well. Goodnight.
162
00:09:06,880 --> 00:09:08,580
Yeah, right.
163
00:09:09,316 --> 00:09:10,682
Call me when you wake up.
164
00:09:10,684 --> 00:09:12,751
Call me when you wake up.
165
00:09:13,687 --> 00:09:15,554
[MUSIC CONTINUES]
166
00:09:39,346 --> 00:09:41,813
Alright, Jordan Beck?
167
00:09:43,717 --> 00:09:45,417
Ok, Jordan.
168
00:09:45,418 --> 00:09:47,118
Do you have any questions
before we get started?
169
00:09:47,120 --> 00:09:49,521
No questions.
170
00:09:49,522 --> 00:09:51,923
Do you want me to read to the
camera or pretend my son's here?
171
00:09:51,925 --> 00:09:55,994
Uh, however you
prepared it is fine.
172
00:09:59,132 --> 00:10:02,200
Okay. Whenever you're ready.
173
00:10:03,737 --> 00:10:07,372
Aiden, son!
No, this is awful what happened?
174
00:10:07,374 --> 00:10:09,741
I hurt my arm, daddy. I'm
scared.
175
00:10:09,743 --> 00:10:12,143
Come here. Daddy knows
how to fix the boo boo.
176
00:10:12,145 --> 00:10:14,746
It hurts daddy. Make it better.
177
00:10:14,748 --> 00:10:18,617
Papa knows how to make the
ouchie go bye-bye.
178
00:10:20,754 --> 00:10:22,754
It's all better now!
179
00:10:22,756 --> 00:10:24,389
Give daddy a hug!
180
00:10:24,391 --> 00:10:26,658
Great. Thanks so much.
181
00:10:27,961 --> 00:10:30,161
Alright, thanks.
182
00:10:30,163 --> 00:10:31,162
Do you need to see it again?
183
00:10:31,164 --> 00:10:34,232
No, no. We're good. Thanks.
184
00:10:35,168 --> 00:10:37,235
[MUSIC]
185
00:10:43,777 --> 00:10:46,645
Hey, hey! Just the man
I wanted to see!
186
00:10:47,781 --> 00:10:50,982
You know, if you want, you could
drop those off at my desk.
187
00:10:50,984 --> 00:10:53,051
Can't do that.
188
00:10:53,787 --> 00:10:54,653
[DING]
189
00:10:58,792 --> 00:11:00,425
Oh, cookie man!
190
00:11:00,427 --> 00:11:03,311
That's right.
191
00:11:03,312 --> 00:11:06,196
You know, if you want, you could
drop those off at my desk.
192
00:11:06,199 --> 00:11:08,800
Hey boss I'm all clear
with the cookies.
193
00:11:08,802 --> 00:11:10,802
Ten four, Ted. I'm need you to
pick up a tray of deviled eggs.
194
00:11:10,804 --> 00:11:15,006
And drop them off at the Alpha
Beta Phi sorority house.
195
00:11:15,008 --> 00:11:18,076
Sorority house? Ten four, sir.
196
00:11:22,215 --> 00:11:25,450
Hey, I got a surprise for you.
I'm coming to get you.
197
00:11:25,452 --> 00:11:27,452
And bring that CD with the
bunny on it!
198
00:11:27,454 --> 00:11:34,025
"Hello. You got me
199
00:11:34,027 --> 00:11:36,828
under your spell
200
00:11:36,830 --> 00:11:40,231
and I fell right away.
201
00:11:40,233 --> 00:11:46,838
Hello and thank you
202
00:11:46,840 --> 00:11:49,841
for looking at me
203
00:11:49,843 --> 00:11:53,845
when I was looking at you.
204
00:11:53,847 --> 00:11:59,851
Oh no, nothing compares
205
00:11:59,853 --> 00:12:07,058
to the feelingsI'm feelin' inside.
206
00:12:07,060 --> 00:12:08,760
Oh... "
207
00:12:11,498 --> 00:12:13,765
What a party pad.
208
00:12:16,269 --> 00:12:18,336
[Wolf howl]
209
00:12:21,074 --> 00:12:23,141
[Knock knock]
210
00:12:24,878 --> 00:12:26,878
Good evening
211
00:12:26,879 --> 00:12:28,879
Hello Ms. I have a delivery
for you and your sisters
212
00:12:28,882 --> 00:12:32,884
Mmm, just the little devils
I was waiting for.
213
00:12:32,886 --> 00:12:34,886
You ladies have a lovely home.
214
00:12:34,888 --> 00:12:40,291
Oh, where are my manners? Come
inside, please. The both of you.
215
00:12:40,293 --> 00:12:42,093
Thank you. That's nice.
216
00:12:42,095 --> 00:12:44,796
She's the den mother.
217
00:12:50,904 --> 00:12:52,537
You can set those eggs anywhere.
218
00:12:52,539 --> 00:12:54,005
Oh, ok.
219
00:12:55,909 --> 00:13:00,111
So uh, what's up? Kind of a
slow night around here.
220
00:13:00,113 --> 00:13:01,913
Slow night?
221
00:13:01,915 --> 00:13:05,917
I have a feeling things are
about to speed up for you.
222
00:13:05,919 --> 00:13:07,118
How do you mean?
223
00:13:07,120 --> 00:13:09,921
Oh, Ted. I knew you were heinous
224
00:13:09,923 --> 00:13:13,925
but I didn't think you
were stupid too.
225
00:13:13,927 --> 00:13:15,126
Well... surprise.
226
00:13:15,128 --> 00:13:16,561
Hey, how did she know your name?
227
00:13:16,563 --> 00:13:18,930
Oh, I know everything about you.
228
00:13:18,932 --> 00:13:23,334
I've been planning this very
moment for a long time.
229
00:13:23,336 --> 00:13:25,136
Well that's a long time.
230
00:13:25,138 --> 00:13:27,939
It was an eternity, Jordan.
231
00:13:27,941 --> 00:13:30,942
Okay now she knows my name.
That's not good. Let's go.
232
00:13:30,944 --> 00:13:33,945
You're not free to go yet.
233
00:13:33,947 --> 00:13:37,348
In due time we will unleash
you upon this satanic,
234
00:13:37,350 --> 00:13:39,350
garbage heap of a city.
235
00:13:39,352 --> 00:13:41,152
We? Who's we?
236
00:13:41,154 --> 00:13:45,223
Go upstairs and find out.
Go rub your face in it!
237
00:13:46,960 --> 00:13:49,594
No, thank you.
We're going to go. Good night.
238
00:13:49,596 --> 00:13:50,862
[Gun Cock]
239
00:13:52,966 --> 00:13:55,166
This isn't a
sorority house is it?
240
00:13:55,168 --> 00:13:56,234
[Spit]
241
00:13:57,604 --> 00:14:00,972
I said go. Now!
242
00:14:00,974 --> 00:14:02,841
[MUSIC]
243
00:14:13,386 --> 00:14:14,886
Boo!
244
00:14:21,995 --> 00:14:23,495
What?
245
00:14:23,496 --> 00:14:24,996
Do you guys really
not recognize me?
246
00:14:24,998 --> 00:14:26,598
Nope.
247
00:14:26,599 --> 00:14:28,199
Let me tell you a story
about where I come from.
248
00:14:28,201 --> 00:14:30,001
It's a magical place of
sunshine,
249
00:14:30,003 --> 00:14:32,003
sing-a-longs and s'mores.
250
00:14:32,005 --> 00:14:34,005
And of course, obstacle courses.
251
00:14:34,007 --> 00:14:35,206
That place sounds fun.
252
00:14:35,208 --> 00:14:37,208
Oh it's fun, Ted.
253
00:14:37,210 --> 00:14:42,013
Fun, fun, fun, 'til his
buddies took his penis away.
254
00:14:42,015 --> 00:14:44,015
Oh my God it's you...
255
00:14:44,017 --> 00:14:45,016
Jeff.
256
00:14:45,018 --> 00:14:47,018
In the flesh.
257
00:14:47,020 --> 00:14:49,020
Most of it anyway.
258
00:14:49,022 --> 00:14:52,223
We feel terrible.
We feel rotten.
259
00:14:52,225 --> 00:14:54,225
It was a prank but
you know what?
260
00:14:54,227 --> 00:14:56,661
It looks like you've done
really well for yourself.
261
00:14:56,663 --> 00:14:58,429
Your little prank
262
00:14:58,431 --> 00:15:02,033
blew off 89 percent of my
penis and testicles.
263
00:15:02,035 --> 00:15:06,037
I had to watch a fox trot by
and eat my dispatched manhood.
264
00:15:06,039 --> 00:15:10,041
Have you ever watched a fox
eat you dispatched manhood?
265
00:15:10,043 --> 00:15:13,044
I've had some really bad
oral sex.
266
00:15:13,046 --> 00:15:16,447
The doctors didn't know what
to do with what remained.
267
00:15:16,449 --> 00:15:22,053
My mother and I had some
painful decisions to make.
268
00:15:22,055 --> 00:15:26,257
I'm sure whatever you chose
is quite beautiful.
269
00:15:26,259 --> 00:15:28,326
I chose this!
270
00:15:31,264 --> 00:15:33,698
You kidnapped our dads?
271
00:15:33,700 --> 00:15:36,267
Where are they?
Are they here? Dad!
272
00:15:36,269 --> 00:15:38,069
You don't kidnap a guy's dad!
273
00:15:38,071 --> 00:15:40,705
They're somewhere safe. For now.
274
00:15:40,707 --> 00:15:44,075
Okay look, I'm on the
verge of booking a very,
275
00:15:44,077 --> 00:15:46,077
very big Band-Aid commercial.
276
00:15:46,079 --> 00:15:50,281
When I do, we'll split the money
with you. Give us back our dads!
277
00:15:50,283 --> 00:15:54,719
You two haven't changed a bit.
Weasels 'till the end.
278
00:15:54,721 --> 00:15:58,089
Money can't save your fathers.
Only you can.
279
00:15:58,091 --> 00:15:59,090
I don't follow.
280
00:15:59,092 --> 00:16:01,292
Well I do follow. Literally.
281
00:16:01,294 --> 00:16:04,095
Turns out that spying can be
a very lucrative business
282
00:16:04,097 --> 00:16:07,098
when you call it "surveillance".
283
00:16:07,100 --> 00:16:09,100
Through my very own company,
Buddy System,
284
00:16:09,102 --> 00:16:13,304
I've monitored your sexual
nihilism, your ungrateful
285
00:16:13,306 --> 00:16:16,307
standard-free gluttony of
cocksmanship.
286
00:16:16,309 --> 00:16:19,110
Okay. We used to be like that
in our 20's
287
00:16:19,112 --> 00:16:24,115
but, we can't get shit anymore.
No one wants to fuck us.
288
00:16:24,117 --> 00:16:26,818
Spare me.
289
00:16:26,819 --> 00:16:29,520
You have 24 hours to sleep with
ten women of various races,
290
00:16:29,522 --> 00:16:32,757
ages, subcultures,
and professions.
291
00:16:32,759 --> 00:16:36,127
Women that I have been only
able to fantasize about
292
00:16:36,129 --> 00:16:38,129
and now you are my avatars
293
00:16:38,131 --> 00:16:41,332
recording the ecstasy that
I can only imagine
294
00:16:41,334 --> 00:16:44,335
and then when you
finish the mission
295
00:16:44,337 --> 00:16:47,405
your fathers will be free.
296
00:16:48,141 --> 00:16:52,143
You have 24 hours to screw
a total of ten women.
297
00:16:52,145 --> 00:16:54,145
This is like a
midnight sex run.
298
00:16:54,147 --> 00:16:57,782
And to be clear, you are not to
call the police. If you do,
299
00:16:57,784 --> 00:17:00,351
your dads will die.
300
00:17:00,353 --> 00:17:01,569
Great.
301
00:17:01,570 --> 00:17:02,786
Jeff will be in constant
communication with you
302
00:17:02,789 --> 00:17:04,355
over your walkies talkies.
303
00:17:04,357 --> 00:17:07,158
Once you finish the first
carnal assignment,
304
00:17:07,160 --> 00:17:09,160
buzz Jeff and he will give
you the next target
305
00:17:09,162 --> 00:17:12,163
and so on and so forth.
Is that clear?
306
00:17:12,165 --> 00:17:15,166
Who's the first to go? Who's
the first carnal assignment?
307
00:17:15,168 --> 00:17:17,168
When Jeff was first in the
hospital he met
308
00:17:17,170 --> 00:17:19,170
a very kind nurse.
309
00:17:19,172 --> 00:17:22,807
Your first conquest of the
evening will be a nurse.
310
00:17:22,809 --> 00:17:24,175
Just any old nurse?
311
00:17:24,177 --> 00:17:27,178
I know a nurse.
She's a masseuse but...
312
00:17:27,180 --> 00:17:28,813
That's great. One down.
313
00:17:28,815 --> 00:17:33,184
No! No one you know!
They must all be fresh!
314
00:17:33,186 --> 00:17:35,820
You contact any of the loosie
goosies you may know,
315
00:17:35,822 --> 00:17:38,823
and we will shoot and
stab your fathers.
316
00:17:38,825 --> 00:17:40,191
You're insane.
317
00:17:40,193 --> 00:17:42,193
For verification,
318
00:17:42,194 --> 00:17:44,194
we are providing you with
cameras to record the deed.
319
00:17:44,197 --> 00:17:46,831
They feed directly to Jeff's
bedroom monitors
320
00:17:46,833 --> 00:17:51,202
and in addition, you are both
being issued a power pack
321
00:17:51,204 --> 00:17:55,473
to aid your coitus and
Jeff's viewing pleasure.
322
00:18:01,214 --> 00:18:02,413
What are these pills?
323
00:18:02,415 --> 00:18:06,217
You get one Viagra and
one Roofie each.
324
00:18:06,219 --> 00:18:08,219
Roofie? What do we need
a roofie for?
325
00:18:08,221 --> 00:18:13,424
In case you need help solving a
problem. I was being merciful.
326
00:18:13,426 --> 00:18:15,860
Don't give me the evil eye!
327
00:18:15,862 --> 00:18:17,428
The clock is ticking!
328
00:18:17,430 --> 00:18:20,498
Tick. Tick. Tick.
329
00:18:23,236 --> 00:18:25,436
This is the dumbest thing
I've ever heard of.
330
00:18:25,438 --> 00:18:26,871
Congratulations.
331
00:18:26,873 --> 00:18:29,140
Fuck you!
332
00:18:29,642 --> 00:18:32,710
Are you on your period Mrs.
Ribalow?
333
00:18:40,887 --> 00:18:44,572
[car start]
334
00:18:44,573 --> 00:18:48,258
"Hello. You got me
335
00:18:48,261 --> 00:18:50,895
under your spell
336
00:18:50,897 --> 00:18:54,665
and I fell right away.
337
00:18:54,667 --> 00:18:56,734
Hello... "
338
00:18:58,271 --> 00:19:01,472
Sorry. I had to do that.
339
00:19:01,474 --> 00:19:05,276
Some people get a sick
pleasure holding it in,
340
00:19:05,278 --> 00:19:06,477
but that ain't me, mac.
341
00:19:06,479 --> 00:19:10,381
It's alright. Just
crack a window.
342
00:19:10,917 --> 00:19:12,817
Wiseguy.
343
00:19:25,932 --> 00:19:28,299
Alright, how'd that go?
One down?
344
00:19:28,301 --> 00:19:31,502
No. I was talking to one but
some Mexican guy interrupted us.
345
00:19:31,504 --> 00:19:32,436
Cock blocked you?
346
00:19:32,438 --> 00:19:33,905
He was stabbed.
347
00:19:34,507 --> 00:19:35,940
Ruined the vibe...
348
00:19:35,942 --> 00:19:37,508
Yeah a little bit.
349
00:19:37,510 --> 00:19:40,511
Well let's think. Where would
a nurse go on her break?
350
00:19:40,513 --> 00:19:42,513
There's got to be a bar
around here somewhere.
351
00:19:42,515 --> 00:19:45,516
How about we just pull in back
and wait for one to come out?
352
00:19:45,518 --> 00:19:47,718
Yeah. I was going to say
check the back.
353
00:19:47,720 --> 00:19:50,321
Hey, we're gonna be
good at this.
354
00:19:50,323 --> 00:19:52,323
[MUSIC]
355
00:19:52,325 --> 00:19:54,325
You know this is
impossible right?
356
00:19:54,327 --> 00:19:56,727
Ten women in 24 hours?
357
00:19:56,729 --> 00:20:00,531
I haven't had a fresh one
in two years.
358
00:20:00,533 --> 00:20:03,334
I can't even get a girl to talk
to me let alone suck our dicks.
359
00:20:03,336 --> 00:20:05,403
You have the wrong attitude.
360
00:20:06,339 --> 00:20:09,540
We've never had a reason
to try this hard.
361
00:20:09,542 --> 00:20:12,977
Technically, this should be fun.
362
00:20:12,979 --> 00:20:15,746
I was thinking about it on
the way over here and uh...
363
00:20:15,748 --> 00:20:17,548
I'm gonna do six, okay?
364
00:20:17,550 --> 00:20:19,617
You do four.
365
00:20:20,753 --> 00:20:21,552
Thanks.
366
00:20:21,554 --> 00:20:23,554
Yeah.
367
00:20:23,555 --> 00:20:25,555
We should never have thrown
that firecracker.
368
00:20:25,558 --> 00:20:29,560
Ya well, who knew it would
take this long to explode.
369
00:20:29,562 --> 00:20:31,562
In our faces.
370
00:20:31,564 --> 00:20:32,630
Hey.
371
00:20:34,567 --> 00:20:36,634
Let's roll.
372
00:20:37,370 --> 00:20:40,271
Good evening. Nice night.
373
00:20:40,273 --> 00:20:42,373
Ya, I guess.
374
00:20:42,375 --> 00:20:44,575
It's a busy night too
375
00:20:44,576 --> 00:20:46,776
my friend here was just in the
emergency room he said it was
376
00:20:46,779 --> 00:20:48,579
really rockin'.
377
00:20:48,581 --> 00:20:50,681
Ya well,
378
00:20:50,682 --> 00:20:52,782
nobody ever takes the night off
from fuckin' themselves up.
379
00:20:52,785 --> 00:20:54,785
Ain't that the truth.
You said it.
380
00:20:54,787 --> 00:20:56,287
Sure did.
381
00:20:56,289 --> 00:21:00,024
I guess uh, judging from your
cigarette there you don't work
382
00:21:00,026 --> 00:21:02,026
in the cancer ward.
383
00:21:02,028 --> 00:21:03,394
Nope.
384
00:21:03,396 --> 00:21:06,030
Cancer patients are
boring as fuck.
385
00:21:06,032 --> 00:21:07,398
I'm in the burn ward.
386
00:21:07,400 --> 00:21:10,034
The burn ward?
Wow, that's great.
387
00:21:10,036 --> 00:21:13,037
Ted, did you hear that?
She's in the burn ward.
388
00:21:13,039 --> 00:21:15,039
Terrific. Thank you.
389
00:21:15,041 --> 00:21:18,609
Say, I bet after working in that
ward all day, people outside
390
00:21:18,611 --> 00:21:21,412
in the regular world, they
probably look pretty attractive
391
00:21:21,414 --> 00:21:22,413
am I right?
392
00:21:22,415 --> 00:21:25,049
I suppose it ain't hard.
393
00:21:25,051 --> 00:21:28,052
You're probably thinking my
friend and I are kind of cute.
394
00:21:28,054 --> 00:21:30,821
Right? I mean we have
all of our skin,
395
00:21:30,823 --> 00:21:32,423
most of our hair,
396
00:21:32,425 --> 00:21:35,426
and all your fingers and toes.
397
00:21:35,428 --> 00:21:37,428
Yeah. I suppose it's a step up.
398
00:21:37,430 --> 00:21:39,430
I bet you're also pretty
stressed out right?
399
00:21:39,432 --> 00:21:41,432
Being on your feet all day,
400
00:21:41,434 --> 00:21:44,635
your shoulders are probably
real knotted. Right?
401
00:21:44,637 --> 00:21:48,072
You probably wouldn't mind
a little free massage.
402
00:21:48,074 --> 00:21:50,841
That's what we're doing.
403
00:21:50,843 --> 00:21:53,444
My mom taught me a real special
technique on the shoulders
404
00:21:53,446 --> 00:21:55,446
Can I...
Can I demonstrate?
405
00:21:55,448 --> 00:21:56,447
[MUSIC]
406
00:21:56,449 --> 00:21:59,650
Sure, why not?
407
00:21:59,651 --> 00:22:02,852
Alright. It's real simple just
relax. Take a deep breath.
408
00:22:02,855 --> 00:22:04,855
And exhale.
409
00:22:04,857 --> 00:22:06,590
There it is.
410
00:22:06,592 --> 00:22:09,660
That looks great.
I bet it feels even better.
411
00:22:09,662 --> 00:22:11,462
Just gonna get up here
in the solar flex
412
00:22:11,464 --> 00:22:14,465
and you're just gonna
close your eyes and
413
00:22:14,467 --> 00:22:17,335
maybe we can make you
a wet nurse.
414
00:22:19,105 --> 00:22:22,006
Ted's going to start
working on your...
415
00:22:24,477 --> 00:22:25,476
What you doing?
416
00:22:25,478 --> 00:22:26,877
I was gonna work the...
417
00:22:26,879 --> 00:22:28,679
Ah no, I'm good, I'm good.
418
00:22:28,681 --> 00:22:30,681
Just right there.
I got a little...
419
00:22:30,683 --> 00:22:34,685
Okay. I'm gonna keep
working up here.
420
00:22:34,687 --> 00:22:38,122
Yo! I said no! What the hell?
421
00:22:38,124 --> 00:22:40,491
Okay, well, hold on.
Wait a second.
422
00:22:40,493 --> 00:22:43,694
Nurse, just give us one more
second. We'll go a little slower
423
00:22:43,696 --> 00:22:45,696
Get back out here!
424
00:22:45,698 --> 00:22:49,500
It's not safe to leave in
the middle of a massage!
425
00:22:49,502 --> 00:22:52,503
C'mon! We'll go slower
if that's what you want!
426
00:22:52,505 --> 00:22:53,704
Let's just put a pin
in this one and then
427
00:22:53,706 --> 00:22:54,505
we'll come back
and get her later.
428
00:22:54,507 --> 00:22:57,508
No! Nurse! Nurse! Nurse!
429
00:22:57,510 --> 00:22:59,710
Who the fuck is giving
back rubs out here?
430
00:22:59,712 --> 00:23:01,779
[MUSIC]
431
00:23:02,915 --> 00:23:07,518
Hey Jeff, uh, roger,ten four, copy...
432
00:23:07,520 --> 00:23:08,386
[Beep]
433
00:23:09,155 --> 00:23:12,523
That was fast.
Where's my video?
434
00:23:12,525 --> 00:23:14,725
Jeff, nurse was really hard.
Could you give us an easier one?
435
00:23:14,727 --> 00:23:16,160
Help us get our heads in the
game?
436
00:23:16,162 --> 00:23:18,729
Tell him nurse was hard.
Tell him how hard nurse was.
437
00:23:18,731 --> 00:23:22,733
That's extremely disappointing
and totally against the rules.
438
00:23:22,735 --> 00:23:25,736
But, okay. Just this once.
This is your mulligan.
439
00:23:25,738 --> 00:23:28,539
I have something here.
Something easy.
440
00:23:28,541 --> 00:23:29,840
When I finally got
out of the hospital
441
00:23:29,842 --> 00:23:32,543
my entire world had changed.
442
00:23:32,545 --> 00:23:34,745
[MUSIC]
443
00:23:34,746 --> 00:23:36,946
I was despised. Or so it
seemed from my eyes.
444
00:23:36,949 --> 00:23:40,751
People looked at me strange,
treated me like I had mange.
445
00:23:40,753 --> 00:23:42,953
Passersby looked at me
with sad eyes,
446
00:23:42,955 --> 00:23:44,755
This is cool.
It's kinda like a rap.
447
00:23:44,757 --> 00:23:46,557
I was marginalized.
448
00:23:46,559 --> 00:23:47,958
Neighbors who oncebaked me treats
449
00:23:47,960 --> 00:23:50,561
now crossed the streetto avoid the freak.
450
00:23:50,563 --> 00:23:52,196
I like it. Keep going.
451
00:23:52,198 --> 00:23:54,081
You see,
452
00:23:54,082 --> 00:23:55,965
I know what it's like to live
on the outskirts of a society
453
00:23:55,968 --> 00:23:59,970
that would rather have me
vanish.
454
00:23:59,972 --> 00:24:01,572
But I didn't.
455
00:24:01,574 --> 00:24:07,778
I survived and thrived and
I'm still alive!
456
00:24:07,780 --> 00:24:10,581
Much like your next target.
457
00:24:10,583 --> 00:24:13,584
You will now give your love...
458
00:24:13,586 --> 00:24:16,654
to a homeless lady.
459
00:24:17,790 --> 00:24:19,590
I just got 40 dollars,
just in case
460
00:24:19,592 --> 00:24:21,792
we need to pay somebody
to fuck it.
461
00:24:21,794 --> 00:24:23,661
What'd you guys decide?
462
00:24:23,663 --> 00:24:26,730
Looks like we're going
to skid row.
463
00:24:26,999 --> 00:24:30,234
Okay
464
00:24:30,236 --> 00:24:33,237
Jordan used to like the Doors
song where he goes:
465
00:24:33,239 --> 00:24:34,605
"Father?"
466
00:24:34,607 --> 00:24:36,240
"Yes son..."
467
00:24:36,242 --> 00:24:38,609
"I'm going to kill you."
468
00:24:38,611 --> 00:24:42,513
Spooky to think about that now.
469
00:24:43,816 --> 00:24:46,817
You know, don't jump
all over me, but uh,
470
00:24:46,819 --> 00:24:49,820
I don't think I ever told
Ted I love him.
471
00:24:49,822 --> 00:24:50,821
And do you?
472
00:24:50,823 --> 00:24:53,023
Of course!
473
00:24:53,025 --> 00:24:55,626
I just choose to show it in, uh,
474
00:24:55,628 --> 00:24:59,630
non-verbal, more monetary way.
475
00:24:59,632 --> 00:25:00,831
He knows I do.
476
00:25:00,833 --> 00:25:02,900
He has to.
477
00:25:04,637 --> 00:25:07,037
Just so we're clear.
It's your turn to fuck.
478
00:25:07,039 --> 00:25:08,839
Oh really? 'Cause you haven't
fucked anybody yet.
479
00:25:08,841 --> 00:25:10,841
It doesn't matter.
It's based on attempts.
480
00:25:10,843 --> 00:25:13,277
You see? I tried one,
you gotta try one.
481
00:25:13,279 --> 00:25:15,179
Uh, excuse me? Sir?
482
00:25:15,181 --> 00:25:17,648
Ya, you, little guy.
483
00:25:17,650 --> 00:25:19,851
Would you mind helping me
with this kitty litter?
484
00:25:19,852 --> 00:25:23,287
It's just a little
too heavy for me.
485
00:25:23,289 --> 00:25:25,078
Me?
486
00:25:25,079 --> 00:25:26,868
Yes you! You.
487
00:25:26,869 --> 00:25:28,658
Appreciate it. It's just too
heavy for me to do by myself.
488
00:25:28,661 --> 00:25:30,478
Sure.
489
00:25:30,479 --> 00:25:32,296
As long as you don't make me
scoop it up later.
490
00:25:32,298 --> 00:25:35,666
You are so funny!
Thank you so much!
491
00:25:35,668 --> 00:25:36,668
I'll get the rest of 'em.
492
00:25:36,669 --> 00:25:39,670
Well aren't you a gentleman.
493
00:25:39,672 --> 00:25:43,874
You know, this is going to
sound really lame but,
494
00:25:43,876 --> 00:25:47,077
did anyone ever tell you that
you look just like Bob Dylan?
495
00:25:47,079 --> 00:25:49,079
Once or twice, yeah.
496
00:25:49,080 --> 00:25:51,080
You do! You do. Just like him.
Well, not now, I mean,
497
00:25:51,083 --> 00:25:54,885
back when I saw him in San
Francisco which was so long ago.
498
00:25:54,887 --> 00:25:56,687
I'm embarassed to tell
you how many years...
499
00:25:56,689 --> 00:25:58,322
"Well you have yourself a
nice night young lady!"
500
00:25:58,324 --> 00:26:01,892
Oh my Gosh, that was so great!
Thank you so much!
501
00:26:01,894 --> 00:26:04,895
My friends will be so
jealous that Bob Dylan
502
00:26:04,897 --> 00:26:07,898
helped me with my groceries.
503
00:26:07,900 --> 00:26:10,701
I'm just in a dither.
Thank you so much.
504
00:26:10,703 --> 00:26:12,002
[giggle]
505
00:26:12,004 --> 00:26:13,971
[MUSIC]
506
00:26:15,908 --> 00:26:17,708
Oh, hey lady you forgot your...
507
00:26:17,710 --> 00:26:21,779
Lady. Hey! Hey lady! Hey!
508
00:26:28,721 --> 00:26:30,921
You just missed a
song about you.
509
00:26:30,923 --> 00:26:31,922
Play it again.
510
00:26:31,924 --> 00:26:32,923
Okay.
511
00:26:32,925 --> 00:26:34,758
It's actually kind of good.
512
00:26:34,760 --> 00:26:39,730
"Honey I knewthat we were through...
513
00:26:39,732 --> 00:26:41,732
It's alright. I like it.
514
00:26:41,734 --> 00:26:46,804
Dreams got really bad.
515
00:26:47,673 --> 00:26:53,377
Honey I do want you to prove
516
00:26:53,379 --> 00:26:59,383
that you know how to be a man.
517
00:26:59,385 --> 00:27:04,755
And I do love you."
518
00:27:04,757 --> 00:27:06,957
There's a cluster right there.
Pull over.
519
00:27:06,959 --> 00:27:08,759
Pull over, pull over, pull over.
520
00:27:08,761 --> 00:27:10,027
Alright.
521
00:27:15,768 --> 00:27:17,768
That looks rough.
522
00:27:17,770 --> 00:27:21,405
What do you want to do? Knock on
some flaps, like cold call?
523
00:27:21,407 --> 00:27:23,974
Yeah. That's fine.
They're all on crack.
524
00:27:23,976 --> 00:27:26,410
It makes them really horny.
525
00:27:26,412 --> 00:27:28,779
Here, you go do this one,
and I'm gonna stay here
526
00:27:28,781 --> 00:27:31,415
and mentally prepare
for the next one.
527
00:27:31,417 --> 00:27:33,684
[MUSIC]
528
00:27:59,812 --> 00:28:00,878
Sup.
529
00:28:12,224 --> 00:28:14,341
Excuse me,
530
00:28:14,342 --> 00:28:16,459
I never do this but are you
looking for some company?
531
00:28:16,462 --> 00:28:18,212
I brought some snacks.
532
00:28:18,213 --> 00:28:19,963
You set off the
fucking alarm, man.
533
00:28:19,965 --> 00:28:22,032
Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't realize.
534
00:28:22,034 --> 00:28:23,100
Who?
535
00:28:24,837 --> 00:28:27,037
I'll tell everyone! Oh! Get it!
536
00:28:27,039 --> 00:28:29,840
You know, you should lay some
memory foam down on the floor.
537
00:28:29,842 --> 00:28:32,242
Make it a lot more
comfortable for you.
538
00:28:32,244 --> 00:28:33,310
Who?
539
00:28:33,312 --> 00:28:36,847
Oh I got you some uh... I
got you a veggie tray.
540
00:28:36,849 --> 00:28:37,948
Who?
541
00:28:37,949 --> 00:28:39,048
With ranch dip. Do you like
ranch?
542
00:28:39,051 --> 00:28:40,768
Who?
543
00:28:40,769 --> 00:28:42,486
Who? Is that just something
that you say a lot?
544
00:28:42,488 --> 00:28:44,855
You should eat
something I think.
545
00:28:44,857 --> 00:28:47,858
Something kind of healthy.
Get you back on track.
546
00:28:47,860 --> 00:28:49,493
Or you could just
eat your boogers...
547
00:28:49,495 --> 00:28:56,266
"Hello you got me
548
00:28:56,268 --> 00:28:59,069
under your spell..."
549
00:28:59,071 --> 00:29:00,070
Do you like wine?
550
00:29:00,072 --> 00:29:01,505
Pussy!
551
00:29:01,507 --> 00:29:04,274
I got a bottle of white wine.
552
00:29:04,276 --> 00:29:07,878
Doesn't this look good?
553
00:29:07,880 --> 00:29:08,512
Hold on.
554
00:29:08,514 --> 00:29:09,079
You can have this...
555
00:29:09,081 --> 00:29:10,798
Shut up!
556
00:29:10,799 --> 00:29:12,516
You can have this whole bottle
of white wine to yourself,
557
00:29:12,518 --> 00:29:13,884
I'm not gonna have any,
558
00:29:13,886 --> 00:29:16,887
if you give me one kiss.
559
00:29:16,889 --> 00:29:19,523
I think that's a
pretty sweet deal.
560
00:29:19,525 --> 00:29:20,290
Okay?
561
00:29:20,292 --> 00:29:21,408
Hold on.
562
00:29:21,409 --> 00:29:22,525
Just a quick smootch and you
get to...
563
00:29:22,528 --> 00:29:23,994
[slap]
564
00:29:24,897 --> 00:29:25,763
Ow!
565
00:29:27,900 --> 00:29:31,368
See that wasn't so bad right?
Oh my God...
566
00:29:33,906 --> 00:29:35,105
How's the wine?
567
00:29:35,107 --> 00:29:35,539
Do you...
568
00:29:35,541 --> 00:29:36,807
Who?
569
00:29:37,910 --> 00:29:39,910
Look I'm gonna take a...
570
00:29:39,912 --> 00:29:42,913
This is going so well
I'm gonna take a video.
571
00:29:42,915 --> 00:29:44,314
Okay? Don't freak out.
572
00:29:44,316 --> 00:29:45,315
Fuckin' pussies!
573
00:29:45,317 --> 00:29:47,918
I think you're doing great.
574
00:29:47,920 --> 00:29:48,786
Okay.
575
00:29:50,322 --> 00:29:51,388
Who?
576
00:29:52,558 --> 00:29:53,824
Who?
577
00:29:55,327 --> 00:29:56,226
Mother!
578
00:29:56,227 --> 00:29:57,126
Who? Who?
579
00:29:57,129 --> 00:29:58,829
We're live!
580
00:29:59,565 --> 00:30:03,133
Jeff, it's uh, nine-ish
on skid row on uh...
581
00:30:03,135 --> 00:30:04,535
[spit]
582
00:30:04,536 --> 00:30:05,936
I'm here with a homeless woman.
And uh,
583
00:30:05,938 --> 00:30:08,939
I don't have much time for the
Viagra I just kinda gotta
584
00:30:08,941 --> 00:30:10,140
go in.
585
00:30:10,142 --> 00:30:11,141
So um,
586
00:30:11,143 --> 00:30:13,210
do what you gotta do.
587
00:30:14,947 --> 00:30:17,581
Now do you have AIDS? Or HIV?
588
00:30:17,583 --> 00:30:19,850
[coughing]
589
00:30:22,154 --> 00:30:24,221
That's a yes, right?
590
00:30:26,959 --> 00:30:29,359
Hey, that's enough.
That's enough.
591
00:30:29,361 --> 00:30:34,431
Alright?
Hey, hey, hey, hey.
592
00:30:39,171 --> 00:30:44,174
Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow!
593
00:30:44,176 --> 00:30:45,242
Ah!
594
00:30:46,178 --> 00:30:47,978
[BITE]
AH!
595
00:30:47,980 --> 00:30:48,612
AHH!!
596
00:30:48,614 --> 00:30:52,382
Oh! Great! Bravo!
597
00:30:52,384 --> 00:30:54,451
OW! AH! DON'T!
598
00:30:59,391 --> 00:31:03,627
You're not gonna make it
through the night.
599
00:31:03,629 --> 00:31:06,997
You and your little friend out
there. You're gonna fail.
600
00:31:06,999 --> 00:31:09,633
And you're gonna burn in hell,
601
00:31:09,635 --> 00:31:15,005
and drown in shit and blood
forevermore.
602
00:31:15,007 --> 00:31:16,874
[laughing]
603
00:31:26,151 --> 00:31:26,651
Ah!
604
00:31:26,652 --> 00:31:27,651
Is that a check?
605
00:31:27,653 --> 00:31:31,021
No! She was trouble! She bit me!
606
00:31:31,023 --> 00:31:33,023
She bit me.
607
00:31:33,025 --> 00:31:35,225
What gives, momma? They're doing
a no good, terrible job.
608
00:31:35,227 --> 00:31:37,027
I think even I could do better.
609
00:31:37,029 --> 00:31:41,031
Not true, dear.
You don't have the...
610
00:31:41,033 --> 00:31:43,033
equipment.
611
00:31:43,035 --> 00:31:45,035
Here's what I got.
612
00:31:45,037 --> 00:31:46,670
Kick off with "Piggies",
613
00:31:46,672 --> 00:31:50,040
then slide into "Sexy Sadie",
and then BAM,
614
00:31:50,042 --> 00:31:51,241
"Savoy Truffle".
615
00:31:51,243 --> 00:31:52,242
[chuckle]
616
00:31:52,244 --> 00:31:54,044
[MUSIC]
617
00:31:54,046 --> 00:31:57,047
Hey. Hey!
618
00:31:57,049 --> 00:32:00,050
It's only fun if we
listen to each others.
619
00:32:00,052 --> 00:32:02,252
What're we doing again?
620
00:32:02,253 --> 00:32:04,453
We're re-sequencing
the White Album. For fun.
621
00:32:04,456 --> 00:32:08,258
Oh, the Beatles, aka the
Fantastic Four.
622
00:32:08,260 --> 00:32:10,327
Oooooooooo
623
00:32:13,265 --> 00:32:17,067
You're next target is a
fifty-something house wife.
624
00:32:17,069 --> 00:32:21,271
Don't let me down boys.
Give it to her good and juicy.
625
00:32:21,273 --> 00:32:25,075
Ten four. Jeff. Good and juicy.
626
00:32:25,077 --> 00:32:27,277
What does that mean? Juicy?
627
00:32:27,279 --> 00:32:29,079
I don't know, but where the
fuck are we going to find a
628
00:32:29,081 --> 00:32:32,082
fifty-something year old house
wife at ten o'clock at night?
629
00:32:32,084 --> 00:32:33,084
They're all asleep.
630
00:32:33,085 --> 00:32:34,952
[phone vibrate]
631
00:32:35,721 --> 00:32:38,088
Oh great. My mom is texting me.
632
00:32:38,090 --> 00:32:39,489
She said, "Where dad is?"
633
00:32:39,491 --> 00:32:42,092
She always sounds like a black
lady when she texts me.
634
00:32:42,094 --> 00:32:43,360
I got it.
635
00:32:44,496 --> 00:32:46,563
[MUSIC]
636
00:32:58,310 --> 00:33:01,011
Cut the engine.
Turn off the lights.
637
00:33:01,313 --> 00:33:03,313
Her house is all dark.
638
00:33:03,315 --> 00:33:05,315
That's good.
639
00:33:05,317 --> 00:33:07,517
Why do you think this lady
wants to fuck you so bad?
640
00:33:07,519 --> 00:33:10,120
Because, she said I look like
Bob Dylan.
641
00:33:10,122 --> 00:33:14,524
Every girl who's ever said that
has eventually slept with me.
642
00:33:14,526 --> 00:33:17,761
I think you look like
Liev Schreiber.
643
00:33:17,763 --> 00:33:21,231
Well, that's why we're
not having sex.
644
00:33:23,335 --> 00:33:26,136
Hey, I'm gonna stay in the car
on this one, alright?
645
00:33:26,138 --> 00:33:28,238
Uh, negative.
646
00:33:28,239 --> 00:33:30,339
Well she probably has the mace.
I'm real allergic to the mace.
647
00:33:30,342 --> 00:33:32,776
Ya, she's got mace.
It's in her purse.
648
00:33:32,778 --> 00:33:35,145
You're coming with me, alright?
We gotta do this for Jeff.
649
00:33:35,147 --> 00:33:37,147
We fucked up that last two.
This makes up for it.
650
00:33:37,149 --> 00:33:39,549
We do it together, alright?
651
00:33:39,551 --> 00:33:41,852
She doesn't like me.
She likes you.
652
00:33:41,853 --> 00:33:44,154
No, no, no, she's like a fun,
funky, new age kind of lady.
653
00:33:44,156 --> 00:33:46,790
She likes everybody.
654
00:33:46,791 --> 00:33:49,425
C'mon. We're going to show her
the time of her life in there.
655
00:33:54,366 --> 00:33:56,066
[knock, knock]
656
00:33:56,368 --> 00:33:58,568
[doorbell ring]
657
00:33:58,570 --> 00:34:00,637
She's not here. Let's go.
658
00:34:02,174 --> 00:34:04,041
[doorbell ring]
659
00:34:06,178 --> 00:34:08,245
She's not home.
660
00:34:12,384 --> 00:34:15,185
Oh! Bob Dylan?
661
00:34:15,187 --> 00:34:16,186
(Doing Dylan) It's me!
662
00:34:16,188 --> 00:34:17,821
[laughter]
663
00:34:17,823 --> 00:34:20,390
You left your purse
in the parking lot.
664
00:34:20,392 --> 00:34:22,309
Oh my God.
665
00:34:22,310 --> 00:34:24,227
I tried to stop you but you
were just zooming away.
666
00:34:24,229 --> 00:34:26,196
Thank you so much!
667
00:34:26,198 --> 00:34:30,200
I just...
Total brain fart moment.
668
00:34:30,202 --> 00:34:32,202
I already cancelled
all my cards.
669
00:34:32,204 --> 00:34:35,205
No, well, what are you gonna do?
That's life.
670
00:34:35,207 --> 00:34:37,407
No, it's my fault. I should
of gotten it to you sooner.
671
00:34:37,409 --> 00:34:39,409
No, please don't. No, no.
672
00:34:39,411 --> 00:34:44,214
The bag is now back with it's
rightful, negligent owner.
673
00:34:44,216 --> 00:34:46,216
It's all that matters.
It's all good.
674
00:34:46,218 --> 00:34:48,852
Well the good news is
all of your pens
675
00:34:48,854 --> 00:34:51,221
and most of your
gum is still there.
676
00:34:51,223 --> 00:34:54,224
You can check. Go ahead.
677
00:34:54,225 --> 00:34:57,226
Oh, please, no, no, I trust you.
It's all good, it's all good.
678
00:34:57,229 --> 00:35:00,230
Thank you so much.
679
00:35:00,232 --> 00:35:02,232
Your karma is good to go.
680
00:35:02,234 --> 00:35:07,237
Thanks, thank you so much.
Night, night.
681
00:35:07,239 --> 00:35:11,441
Oh my gosh, I'm sorry.
Could I write you a check?
682
00:35:11,443 --> 00:35:13,877
I mean you deserve a
reward, right?
683
00:35:13,879 --> 00:35:19,883
If you insist. Maybe
some milk and cookies?
684
00:35:19,885 --> 00:35:22,252
You want to come in my house?
685
00:35:22,254 --> 00:35:24,454
I mean, unless I'm gonna
wake your husband.
686
00:35:24,456 --> 00:35:26,456
Oh, no. Not at all, not at all.
687
00:35:26,458 --> 00:35:30,460
I was just, I... I...
688
00:35:30,462 --> 00:35:33,263
Oh...
Hello.
689
00:35:33,265 --> 00:35:34,264
Is he with you?
690
00:35:34,266 --> 00:35:36,666
He is.
That's Ted.
691
00:35:36,668 --> 00:35:37,901
Say hi, Ted.
692
00:35:37,903 --> 00:35:39,269
Hey, what's up?
693
00:35:39,271 --> 00:35:40,137
Hi.
694
00:35:42,474 --> 00:35:47,477
And here, my funky new friends,
is your quiche.
695
00:35:47,479 --> 00:35:51,281
That is yummy looking.
I love it.
696
00:35:51,283 --> 00:35:52,482
Ta-da, Enjoy.
697
00:35:52,484 --> 00:35:53,484
Thank you, Billie.
698
00:35:53,485 --> 00:35:55,552
Oh, you're welcome.
699
00:35:57,289 --> 00:36:02,292
So, you guys, give me the scoop.
700
00:36:02,294 --> 00:36:05,495
You have girlfriends.
701
00:36:05,497 --> 00:36:07,297
Boyfriends?
702
00:36:07,299 --> 00:36:09,116
Wives?
703
00:36:09,117 --> 00:36:10,934
No, Billie, we're single
just like you.
704
00:36:10,936 --> 00:36:12,936
No, no that's just baloney.
705
00:36:12,938 --> 00:36:17,307
It is not baloney.
Here, check my phone.
706
00:36:17,309 --> 00:36:19,309
Go ahead. Scroll through
the texts, emails...
707
00:36:19,311 --> 00:36:21,311
No, no, no.
708
00:36:21,313 --> 00:36:23,713
You go ahead and check it.
709
00:36:23,715 --> 00:36:26,950
What does it matter?
I'm just teasing.
710
00:36:26,952 --> 00:36:29,719
Oh...
Well...
711
00:36:29,721 --> 00:36:32,789
It's not nice to tease, Billie.
712
00:36:36,328 --> 00:36:38,195
[laughter]
713
00:36:39,331 --> 00:36:41,531
You guys are so fun!
714
00:36:41,533 --> 00:36:43,333
You got me!
715
00:36:43,335 --> 00:36:47,971
Well, I am gonna get
another bottle of vino.
716
00:36:47,973 --> 00:36:51,541
Yes. If you will stay
for just one more.
717
00:36:51,543 --> 00:36:54,978
We'll stay 'till you kick us
out. Yes ma'am!
718
00:36:54,980 --> 00:36:58,982
Really? Oh, it's fine by me.
Stay forever, I mean...
719
00:36:58,984 --> 00:37:01,251
[laughter]
720
00:37:02,354 --> 00:37:03,353
[MUSIC]
721
00:37:03,355 --> 00:37:04,554
You're acting weird.
722
00:37:04,556 --> 00:37:05,989
Ya, I know. You
think she can tell?
723
00:37:05,991 --> 00:37:07,357
I'm really trying not to.
724
00:37:07,359 --> 00:37:08,859
What're you doing?
725
00:37:08,860 --> 00:37:10,360
Oh I'm just going to Roofie her,
we gotta get this thing...
726
00:37:10,362 --> 00:37:11,362
Why would you Roofie her?
727
00:37:11,363 --> 00:37:12,762
It's going well but, you know...
728
00:37:12,764 --> 00:37:14,564
No, it's not going well.
She's not sexual at all.
729
00:37:14,566 --> 00:37:15,565
Let's just eat out quiche and...
730
00:37:15,567 --> 00:37:17,567
Hey. Hey!
We need this, okay?
731
00:37:17,569 --> 00:37:20,003
This is gonna energize us.
Get us over the hump.
732
00:37:20,005 --> 00:37:21,271
Please don't do that.
What are you doing?
733
00:37:21,273 --> 00:37:23,340
What'd I say?
734
00:37:26,578 --> 00:37:30,580
So, what are you two
whispering about?
735
00:37:30,582 --> 00:37:35,018
Ted was just telling me how
pretty he thinks you are.
736
00:37:35,020 --> 00:37:36,520
What?
737
00:37:36,521 --> 00:37:38,021
Ya, Ted. Tell Billie what
you just told me
738
00:37:38,023 --> 00:37:40,023
about how pretty she is.
739
00:37:40,025 --> 00:37:42,392
I said, uh, Jordan,
740
00:37:42,394 --> 00:37:44,261
this is a pretty lady.
741
00:37:45,397 --> 00:37:46,796
That's a fact.
742
00:37:46,798 --> 00:37:49,866
Oh, you guys.
743
00:37:52,404 --> 00:37:55,038
I'm gonna cry.
744
00:37:55,040 --> 00:37:56,406
Here's to us!
745
00:37:56,408 --> 00:37:57,607
Bottoms up!
746
00:37:57,609 --> 00:38:02,312
Cheers.
Bottoms up. Okay.
747
00:38:04,416 --> 00:38:05,615
Yummy.
748
00:38:05,617 --> 00:38:07,617
You're chugging it.
749
00:38:07,619 --> 00:38:09,619
Oh...
750
00:38:09,621 --> 00:38:10,820
[laughter]
751
00:38:10,822 --> 00:38:13,323
It's gonna be a fun night.
752
00:38:15,560 --> 00:38:23,560
I... I wish that my daughter
could meet good, great guys
753
00:38:25,437 --> 00:38:27,637
like you and Ben.
754
00:38:27,639 --> 00:38:29,439
My name's Ted, Billie.
755
00:38:29,441 --> 00:38:31,441
Ted.
756
00:38:31,442 --> 00:38:33,442
What's you daughter's name,
Billie?
757
00:38:33,445 --> 00:38:35,445
Mmm, Magda.
758
00:38:35,447 --> 00:38:38,081
Magda. That's so pretty.
759
00:38:38,083 --> 00:38:41,851
It is.
She's an angel.
760
00:38:41,853 --> 00:38:48,325
She's beautiful.
She is, it's true.
761
00:38:48,327 --> 00:38:51,461
But she won't eat, you guys!
762
00:38:51,463 --> 00:38:57,667
She doesn't eat. Just maybe
like, like almonds and...
763
00:38:57,669 --> 00:38:59,869
and that's it.
764
00:38:59,871 --> 00:39:05,475
And I... I have told her...
and told...
765
00:39:05,477 --> 00:39:09,879
I'm a good mom!
766
00:39:09,881 --> 00:39:14,684
But she's just wasting
away before my eyes.
767
00:39:14,686 --> 00:39:16,686
She might be anorexic.
768
00:39:16,688 --> 00:39:22,692
Yes! Yes, yes, yes, she's...
769
00:39:22,694 --> 00:39:24,494
Anor... anor...
770
00:39:24,496 --> 00:39:25,495
rexic.
771
00:39:25,497 --> 00:39:28,698
Rexic!
772
00:39:28,700 --> 00:39:34,504
She's beautiful.
Believe me.
773
00:39:34,506 --> 00:39:37,140
Beautiful.
774
00:39:37,142 --> 00:39:45,142
She has all this fur now.
And she has these sideburns.
775
00:39:47,719 --> 00:39:53,156
She's like... she's like
my own little sloth now.
776
00:39:53,158 --> 00:39:57,160
You know maybe I could cook
for her sometime.
777
00:39:57,162 --> 00:39:58,161
Good luck!
778
00:39:58,163 --> 00:40:00,530
[laughter]
779
00:40:00,532 --> 00:40:01,731
Fat chance.
780
00:40:01,733 --> 00:40:03,933
Ah! No, no, no!
781
00:40:03,935 --> 00:40:06,536
Skinny chance!
Get it?
782
00:40:06,538 --> 00:40:07,737
[laughter]
783
00:40:07,739 --> 00:40:11,808
That's good.
That's funny.
784
00:40:13,545 --> 00:40:15,412
[crying]
785
00:40:19,551 --> 00:40:25,555
She's my baby.
My baby is killing herself.
786
00:40:25,557 --> 00:40:30,527
She is, but she can't die. No!
No she can't. I won't let her.
787
00:40:30,529 --> 00:40:34,564
Like I said I could cook her
a really great meal.
788
00:40:34,566 --> 00:40:35,765
You know, maybe change her tune.
789
00:40:35,767 --> 00:40:38,468
Yeah, you do that.
790
00:40:40,572 --> 00:40:44,974
What's your story,
morning glory? Huh?
791
00:40:44,976 --> 00:40:47,777
You don't talk much.
792
00:40:47,779 --> 00:40:50,847
I think you guys
should just talk.
793
00:40:51,783 --> 00:40:52,849
Have you...
794
00:40:53,585 --> 00:40:57,220
Have you heard Jordan's Dylan?
795
00:40:57,222 --> 00:40:58,488
No.
796
00:40:58,490 --> 00:41:05,595
You have to do it for Tim!
Tim, Tim, you have to hear this.
797
00:41:05,597 --> 00:41:08,598
Close your eyes and
then just listen.
798
00:41:08,600 --> 00:41:10,800
Do it. Do it.
799
00:41:10,802 --> 00:41:13,603
(Dylan) I love hanging out
with Billie and Tim!
800
00:41:13,605 --> 00:41:14,804
[laughter]
801
00:41:14,806 --> 00:41:16,239
Isn't that great?
802
00:41:16,241 --> 00:41:18,058
That was great.
803
00:41:18,059 --> 00:41:19,876
Isn't that spot on?
804
00:41:22,013 --> 00:41:30,013
Oh. I don't know how you guys do
it but I have to go hit the hay.
805
00:41:30,622 --> 00:41:31,938
Well, sweet dreams.
806
00:41:31,939 --> 00:41:33,255
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
Sit back down, sit back down.
807
00:41:33,258 --> 00:41:35,258
Not yet, not yet, not yet,
not yet, not yet, not yet.
808
00:41:35,260 --> 00:41:38,628
I have a surprise for us!
809
00:41:38,630 --> 00:41:39,829
Yeah! It's a game.
810
00:41:39,831 --> 00:41:40,830
Game?
811
00:41:40,832 --> 00:41:43,633
Yeah. We're gonna play a game.
812
00:41:43,635 --> 00:41:45,635
Magda has a Nintendo
in her room.
813
00:41:45,637 --> 00:41:47,270
Oh no, no, no.
Not that kind of game.
814
00:41:47,272 --> 00:41:49,272
This is a brand new game.
815
00:41:49,274 --> 00:41:52,275
It's called, "The Butt Game"!
816
00:41:52,277 --> 00:41:53,643
What?
817
00:41:53,645 --> 00:41:56,746
Yeah.
818
00:41:56,747 --> 00:41:59,848
We all are gonna show our butts
against that wall right there
819
00:41:59,851 --> 00:42:01,651
for ten seconds each.
820
00:42:01,653 --> 00:42:05,288
No. You're crazy!
That's not a real game.
821
00:42:05,290 --> 00:42:08,291
No, it is a real game.
It's my game.
822
00:42:08,293 --> 00:42:11,060
And it's easy because
we all win.
823
00:42:11,062 --> 00:42:14,063
You just show your butt,
and then, you win.
824
00:42:14,065 --> 00:42:15,665
Why would we do that?
825
00:42:15,667 --> 00:42:17,667
Yeah, why would we do that?
826
00:42:17,669 --> 00:42:19,869
Because, Ben,
827
00:42:19,871 --> 00:42:23,072
it's to show that it's not a
big deal to have a butt.
828
00:42:23,074 --> 00:42:25,875
Okay? We all have a butt.
829
00:42:25,877 --> 00:42:29,679
By showing them,
we free ourselves from...
830
00:42:29,681 --> 00:42:33,683
all this stupid
business about butts!
831
00:42:33,685 --> 00:42:36,553
You know what?
I'm gonna go first.
832
00:42:37,689 --> 00:42:41,324
Aww, that's a cute little butt.
833
00:42:41,326 --> 00:42:43,693
Yeah! I gotta cute butt!
834
00:42:43,695 --> 00:42:45,895
[laughter]
835
00:42:45,897 --> 00:42:50,900
Alright! What a fun new game.
Who's next?
836
00:42:50,902 --> 00:42:53,903
Me. I'm next.
837
00:42:53,905 --> 00:42:56,606
Alright, Ted's next.
838
00:42:57,909 --> 00:42:59,709
Here we go.
839
00:42:59,711 --> 00:43:02,912
Look, Billie. Ted's trying to
show you something.
840
00:43:02,914 --> 00:43:06,916
Oh my goodness.
Ugly butt!
841
00:43:06,918 --> 00:43:09,719
Ha ha! Billie doesn't
like Ted's butt!
842
00:43:09,721 --> 00:43:11,721
Billie likes my
butt better, huh?
843
00:43:11,723 --> 00:43:13,356
I do! I do.
844
00:43:13,358 --> 00:43:16,726
That was ten. Sorry that
didn't work for you, Billie.
845
00:43:16,728 --> 00:43:17,727
I'm sleepy.
846
00:43:17,729 --> 00:43:20,730
Alright, who's up now?
847
00:43:20,732 --> 00:43:23,733
I think I know who's up next!
848
00:43:23,735 --> 00:43:25,735
Billie do you know
who's up next?
849
00:43:25,737 --> 00:43:28,738
You're up next!
It's Billie's butt.
850
00:43:28,740 --> 00:43:30,740
She doesn't want to play.
851
00:43:30,741 --> 00:43:32,741
Of course she does.
She just needs a little help.
852
00:43:32,744 --> 00:43:34,611
C'mon, help her out.
853
00:43:35,747 --> 00:43:37,947
Don't worry, we're here for you.
854
00:43:37,949 --> 00:43:41,951
Alright. Here we go.
Up against the butt wall.
855
00:43:41,953 --> 00:43:43,753
What am I doing again?
856
00:43:43,755 --> 00:43:45,388
It's the butt game.
857
00:43:45,390 --> 00:43:47,390
No, no, no. That's okay.
858
00:43:47,392 --> 00:43:48,958
No, no. Billie, Billie,
859
00:43:48,960 --> 00:43:51,761
Ted and I already went
so it's your turn.
860
00:43:51,763 --> 00:43:54,764
Now remember we're
having a great time.
861
00:43:54,766 --> 00:43:56,966
So you don't want to ruin it.
Alright?
862
00:43:56,968 --> 00:43:58,768
It's not like you have to spread
it or anything. Let's go.
863
00:43:58,770 --> 00:44:02,639
Fine! Give me a sec. Jeez!
864
00:44:09,781 --> 00:44:11,180
Wow that's great, Billie.
865
00:44:11,182 --> 00:44:12,649
Billie, you're doing
a great job.
866
00:44:12,651 --> 00:44:16,786
4, 5, oh no, no...
867
00:44:16,788 --> 00:44:19,789
Okay, okay.
Alright.
868
00:44:19,791 --> 00:44:21,090
Now the game's over.
869
00:44:21,092 --> 00:44:22,792
Get the camera.
870
00:44:22,794 --> 00:44:24,427
We need to leave before she
wakes up and calls the police.
871
00:44:24,429 --> 00:44:25,995
No, no, no. I'm going in.
872
00:44:25,997 --> 00:44:26,996
[MUSIC]
873
00:44:26,998 --> 00:44:28,798
What do you mean
you're going in?
874
00:44:28,800 --> 00:44:31,000
There's no time for right or
wrong right now, okay?
875
00:44:31,002 --> 00:44:34,804
I'm going in. Get the camera.
876
00:44:34,806 --> 00:44:38,007
Jordan, this is frat boy,
Roofie rape.
877
00:44:38,009 --> 00:44:40,810
If you're forced to go on a
midnight sex run,
878
00:44:40,812 --> 00:44:42,812
you gotta break a few eggs.
879
00:44:42,814 --> 00:44:46,449
Now please get the camera.
Start filming.
880
00:44:46,451 --> 00:44:49,018
Billie?
881
00:44:49,020 --> 00:44:51,087
Get the camera!
882
00:44:52,023 --> 00:44:53,823
Alright, go.
883
00:44:53,825 --> 00:44:56,826
Hey, Jeff. Jordan here.
884
00:44:56,828 --> 00:45:00,830
At the house of a fifty-something year old house wife.
885
00:45:00,832 --> 00:45:02,832
Things were going great.
886
00:45:02,834 --> 00:45:05,034
Uh, we chose to use theroofie you provided
887
00:45:05,036 --> 00:45:07,837
just to expedite things...
888
00:45:07,839 --> 00:45:09,339
Roofies?
889
00:45:09,340 --> 00:45:10,840
- - because we're a littlebehind schedule.
890
00:45:10,842 --> 00:45:12,842
She seemed pretty
willing though and
891
00:45:12,844 --> 00:45:14,844
she's a little passed
out right now,
892
00:45:14,846 --> 00:45:19,048
but I think in the morning, she
won't think twice about this.
893
00:45:19,050 --> 00:45:21,851
Here we go.
894
00:45:21,853 --> 00:45:25,054
Hey Jeff, this doesn'tseem like you.
895
00:45:25,056 --> 00:45:26,856
I'm real disappointed, man.
896
00:45:26,858 --> 00:45:29,859
But if it gets my dad back,fuck it.
897
00:45:29,861 --> 00:45:31,127
MOTHER!
898
00:45:32,497 --> 00:45:36,065
Billie, you seem like a real
nice lady, so,
899
00:45:36,067 --> 00:45:39,135
thanks for taking one
for the team.
900
00:45:41,873 --> 00:45:44,240
Stop! Stop!
901
00:45:44,242 --> 00:45:45,875
There seems to have been abreach in protocol.
902
00:45:45,877 --> 00:45:48,778
Just evacuate the premisesimmediately.
903
00:45:48,780 --> 00:45:51,514
Okay, we'll mark this off as
tagged just get your shit
904
00:45:51,516 --> 00:45:53,883
and get out of there!
905
00:45:53,885 --> 00:45:55,151
Ten four
906
00:46:00,291 --> 00:46:02,892
Momma. Momma!
907
00:46:02,894 --> 00:46:06,095
You've gone too far this time
and I won't have it.
908
00:46:06,097 --> 00:46:07,530
You gave the roofies?
909
00:46:07,532 --> 00:46:09,899
They almost did a deed that
can't be taken back!
910
00:46:09,901 --> 00:46:14,103
Jeff, they robbed you blind!
911
00:46:14,105 --> 00:46:19,108
You'll never know what it's like
to lie naked with a woman.
912
00:46:19,110 --> 00:46:20,910
Huh!
913
00:46:20,912 --> 00:46:24,914
And my grandchildren were
murdered that day!
914
00:46:24,916 --> 00:46:30,920
All the little babies
just zapped.
915
00:46:30,922 --> 00:46:32,922
You weren't there.
916
00:46:32,924 --> 00:46:36,125
Ted and Jordan, we we're just
kids. They didn't mean it.
917
00:46:36,127 --> 00:46:38,127
All my life I've just wanted to
be friends with them
918
00:46:38,129 --> 00:46:39,929
and momma maybe now I can be
friends with them!
919
00:46:39,931 --> 00:46:42,031
No!
920
00:46:42,032 --> 00:46:44,132
I won't speak their names but
those demons are not
921
00:46:44,135 --> 00:46:47,136
nor will they ever be
your friends.
922
00:46:47,138 --> 00:46:50,573
I'm sorry sweetheart but
it's judgement night.
923
00:46:50,575 --> 00:46:53,142
I understand.
924
00:46:53,144 --> 00:46:57,947
I do. And I want them to go on
this filthy sex run,
925
00:46:57,949 --> 00:46:59,949
but it's not going
as we planned it.
926
00:46:59,951 --> 00:47:04,954
Oh, yes it is. It's going
exactly as I planned it!
927
00:47:04,956 --> 00:47:09,959
Now, go to bed, dear.
928
00:47:09,961 --> 00:47:14,831
Don't make me make
you go to bed.
929
00:47:18,603 --> 00:47:20,970
[MUSIC]
Hey, you alright? Stay focused!
930
00:47:20,972 --> 00:47:23,573
I wanna quit.
931
00:47:23,574 --> 00:47:26,175
C'mon. Think about your dad.
Think about my dad.
932
00:47:26,177 --> 00:47:28,177
She was good to us.
She gave us quiche
933
00:47:28,179 --> 00:47:30,980
and you tried to fuckin' show
her your butt and rape her.
934
00:47:30,982 --> 00:47:33,616
Cut the fuckin' rape,
shit talk out!
935
00:47:33,618 --> 00:47:35,985
That's the kind of shit that
follows someone around!
936
00:47:35,987 --> 00:47:39,188
You're fucked in the head.
You're fucked!
937
00:47:39,190 --> 00:47:41,257
What are you doing?
938
00:47:41,993 --> 00:47:43,860
What are you doing?
939
00:47:46,631 --> 00:47:48,631
Hey! Hey, what the fuck
are you doing?
940
00:47:48,633 --> 00:47:53,002
I ca... I can't.
I'm do... I'm done. I can't.
941
00:47:53,004 --> 00:47:54,637
I don't feel sexy.
I feel fat.
942
00:47:54,639 --> 00:47:56,005
Did you hear what Billie
said about my butt?
943
00:47:56,007 --> 00:47:57,607
She said it was gross.
944
00:47:57,608 --> 00:47:59,208
Hey, c'mon. We're doing good,
alright? We're getting there.
945
00:47:59,210 --> 00:48:02,645
We're getting nowhere.
Nobody wants to sleep with us.
946
00:48:02,647 --> 00:48:06,015
Everyone thinks we're creepy.
And we are creepy.
947
00:48:06,017 --> 00:48:08,217
God damnit. This is so you.
948
00:48:08,219 --> 00:48:12,054
Things get a little difficult,
it must be time to pack it in.
949
00:48:12,056 --> 00:48:14,223
I didn't get into the one grad
school I applied to,
950
00:48:14,225 --> 00:48:16,626
I guess I'll just be a delivery
boy for the rest of my life.
951
00:48:16,628 --> 00:48:18,628
That's big talk coming from
someone who almost booked
952
00:48:18,630 --> 00:48:20,847
a Wheat Thins commercial
two years ago.
953
00:48:20,848 --> 00:48:23,065
Okay, now you're proving my
point. We've done nothing but
954
00:48:23,067 --> 00:48:25,034
disappoint our dads our
entire lives.
955
00:48:25,036 --> 00:48:27,670
We finally have a chance
to make it up to them
956
00:48:27,672 --> 00:48:29,672
by completing this
midnight sex run.
957
00:48:29,674 --> 00:48:32,041
Will you stop calling it
midnight sex run?
958
00:48:32,043 --> 00:48:34,243
Fine, you can call it whatever
you want, but we're not done.
959
00:48:34,245 --> 00:48:36,045
We got one down,
a few more to go.
960
00:48:36,047 --> 00:48:40,049
We've got none down.
We got none of them.
961
00:48:40,051 --> 00:48:42,251
Why'd they give us that roofie
tonight? Think about it.
962
00:48:42,253 --> 00:48:44,053
They wanted to film us
raping that lady.
963
00:48:44,055 --> 00:48:45,454
They want us to get caught.
964
00:48:45,456 --> 00:48:47,256
You think they're gonna
let our dads go?
965
00:48:47,257 --> 00:48:49,057
You think they're gonna
let us go after that?
966
00:48:49,060 --> 00:48:52,061
No. We're gonna go to jail.
We're gonna be orphans in jail.
967
00:48:52,063 --> 00:48:54,697
And then we're gonna get raped.
And consciously.
968
00:48:54,699 --> 00:48:58,968
No. Fuck it. I'm done. I'm done.
969
00:49:00,071 --> 00:49:04,073
I was prepared to take a
bullet for you tonight.
970
00:49:04,075 --> 00:49:07,076
Now I guess I don't
have a choice.
971
00:49:07,078 --> 00:49:09,078
Where the fuck are you gonna go?
Where are you going?
972
00:49:09,080 --> 00:49:12,281
I'm gonna go save our dads.
Oh, and when I do,
973
00:49:12,283 --> 00:49:14,283
if we need someone to
deliver us a victory cake,
974
00:49:14,285 --> 00:49:17,353
I'll give you a call.
975
00:49:24,295 --> 00:49:27,096
I didn't talk to my father
for a whole year once.
976
00:49:27,098 --> 00:49:29,098
A year? What'd you do?
977
00:49:29,100 --> 00:49:32,101
He was eating some flap jacks
and he got some
978
00:49:32,103 --> 00:49:36,305
syrup up around his mouth there,
and I just said to him,
979
00:49:36,307 --> 00:49:39,742
"Hey pop it looks like you
got lip gloss on."
980
00:49:39,744 --> 00:49:43,746
Oh man, he belted me.
981
00:49:43,748 --> 00:49:46,115
My old man didn't go in
for that gay business.
982
00:49:46,117 --> 00:49:48,117
You emasculated him.
983
00:49:48,119 --> 00:49:51,320
You challenged his
role as protector.
984
00:49:51,322 --> 00:49:54,323
Well, he's not here to
protect me now.
985
00:49:54,325 --> 00:50:01,397
It's up to my Jordan and your
Ted. And this midnight sex run.
986
00:50:03,134 --> 00:50:04,000
Hey!
987
00:50:06,771 --> 00:50:11,140
Jordan, um, I... I'm sorry
about the misunderstanding.
988
00:50:11,142 --> 00:50:13,342
Ya you should be!
989
00:50:13,344 --> 00:50:16,345
Fuck it. It's dad saving time.
Who's next?
990
00:50:16,347 --> 00:50:18,547
Well, um... midget!
991
00:50:18,549 --> 00:50:20,149
No. Too stupid.
992
00:50:20,151 --> 00:50:24,787
Fuck! Um, well, I think I have
something written down.
993
00:50:24,789 --> 00:50:27,156
A midget! No...
a punk rock girl!
994
00:50:27,158 --> 00:50:29,158
Punk rock girl. You got it.
995
00:50:29,160 --> 00:50:30,793
Listen, Ted and I split up
for this one.
996
00:50:30,795 --> 00:50:34,363
Just so you know, we're
not together anymore.
997
00:50:34,365 --> 00:50:37,366
Oh, um, I guess that's okay...
998
00:50:37,368 --> 00:50:41,804
but, I kind of always pictured
you two doing it together.
999
00:50:41,806 --> 00:50:44,073
Yeah. Me too.
1000
00:50:45,810 --> 00:50:49,378
Ah! Ah! Rawr!
1001
00:50:49,380 --> 00:50:53,582
Cock-brains chinks wanna throw
out perfectly good slaw.
1002
00:50:53,584 --> 00:50:55,384
Hello?
1003
00:50:55,385 --> 00:50:57,185
Yeah, I just lost my
wallet or something.
1004
00:50:57,188 --> 00:50:58,387
Do you want some help
looking for it?
1005
00:50:58,389 --> 00:51:00,389
Oh shit, I thought you
were a cop,
1006
00:51:00,391 --> 00:51:02,591
or at least you were Sanjaya!
1007
00:51:02,593 --> 00:51:04,827
Who's that? Is Sanjaya
your boyfriend?
1008
00:51:04,829 --> 00:51:06,395
Oh ya, I'm just fucking in love
1009
00:51:06,397 --> 00:51:09,198
with the towel head that
manages this shit hole.
1010
00:51:09,200 --> 00:51:11,801
[laughter]
1011
00:51:11,802 --> 00:51:14,403
I have a wallet if you want me
to get you something.
1012
00:51:14,405 --> 00:51:15,838
If you wanna have a
party or something,
1013
00:51:15,840 --> 00:51:17,406
I can buy us some stuff.
1014
00:51:17,408 --> 00:51:20,209
Oh wow...
1015
00:51:20,211 --> 00:51:25,081
A jew with a wallet willing to
part with some fucking cash.
1016
00:51:26,851 --> 00:51:28,373
Ted,
1017
00:51:28,374 --> 00:51:29,896
You there, friend?
1018
00:51:29,897 --> 00:51:31,419
Listen, you were rightabout the roofies.
1019
00:51:31,422 --> 00:51:35,124
That wasn't me.I wouldn't to that! Okay?
1020
00:51:36,427 --> 00:51:38,427
Hey, how's my dad doing?
1021
00:51:38,429 --> 00:51:43,866
Fine, um, we got him some pizza.
1022
00:51:43,868 --> 00:51:47,236
I think he's re-sequencing the
White Album or something?
1023
00:51:47,238 --> 00:51:49,238
Ya my dad loves the Beatles.
1024
00:51:49,240 --> 00:51:52,241
You're a lucky guy.
1025
00:51:52,243 --> 00:51:58,247
He's really...
He's really cool.
1026
00:51:58,249 --> 00:51:59,448
Fuck it!
1027
00:51:59,450 --> 00:52:02,251
Alright, give me my
next assignment.
1028
00:52:02,253 --> 00:52:03,886
Really? You mean it?
1029
00:52:03,888 --> 00:52:06,255
Yeah, before I change my mind.
Who's next? Who's next?
1030
00:52:06,257 --> 00:52:10,459
Fantastic! Well I've always
wanted to see you go toe to toe
1031
00:52:10,461 --> 00:52:13,262
with a female comedianne.
1032
00:52:13,264 --> 00:52:15,765
That's great.
1033
00:52:15,766 --> 00:52:18,267
There's a stand up place called
the Belly Laughs
1034
00:52:18,269 --> 00:52:21,270
about four blocks away from you.
1035
00:52:21,272 --> 00:52:23,472
I'm tracking you movements.
1036
00:52:23,474 --> 00:52:24,473
It's cool, huh?
1037
00:52:24,475 --> 00:52:26,275
Yeah, that's awesome.
1038
00:52:26,277 --> 00:52:28,144
Copy that.
1039
00:52:30,281 --> 00:52:34,283
Back the fuck up, Pablo!
This dumpster is ocupado!
1040
00:52:34,285 --> 00:52:35,684
Is that your boyfriend?
1041
00:52:35,686 --> 00:52:37,286
Fuck off, Screech.
1042
00:52:37,288 --> 00:52:40,156
Give me my Jesus piss.
1043
00:52:41,292 --> 00:52:43,493
Hey, you live around here?
We can go drink that.
1044
00:52:43,494 --> 00:52:46,295
I live with Aaron.
1045
00:52:46,297 --> 00:52:47,797
That's cool.
1046
00:52:47,798 --> 00:52:49,298
Don't act like you know him.
1047
00:52:49,300 --> 00:52:52,935
Aaron's a mother fuckin'
tattoo artist genius.
1048
00:52:52,937 --> 00:52:54,703
He's designing my sleeve.
1049
00:52:54,705 --> 00:52:56,305
That's cool.
What are you getting?
1050
00:52:56,307 --> 00:52:59,308
It's just me fisting your
mom up to my elbow.
1051
00:52:59,310 --> 00:53:02,311
You know, pull out,
it's all mom ass.
1052
00:53:02,313 --> 00:53:04,513
Mom dingleberries
hanging from it.
1053
00:53:04,515 --> 00:53:07,516
I'd love to see the design.
Right away would be good.
1054
00:53:07,518 --> 00:53:10,519
What're you saying? You wanna
follow me back to my crib?
1055
00:53:10,521 --> 00:53:14,723
Drink my wine?
Worm your way into my pussy?
1056
00:53:14,725 --> 00:53:17,960
We could do that, yeah.
1057
00:53:17,962 --> 00:53:21,230
[fart and sex noises]
1058
00:53:22,533 --> 00:53:24,600
[laughter]
1059
00:53:35,346 --> 00:53:38,347
And this guys nuts smelled
bad enough as it is.
1060
00:53:38,349 --> 00:53:43,352
Yup. Now they're
chocolate covered nuts.
1061
00:53:43,354 --> 00:53:44,854
[loud, distorted guitar]
1062
00:53:44,855 --> 00:53:46,355
Yeah! C'mon, c'mon, c'mon!
Freestyle!
1063
00:53:46,357 --> 00:53:47,556
I can't. I can't!
1064
00:53:47,558 --> 00:53:48,757
Hit me with a freestyle!
1065
00:53:48,759 --> 00:53:50,359
[beat boxing]
1066
00:53:50,361 --> 00:53:53,362
I can't! Stop... stop.
1067
00:53:53,364 --> 00:53:54,364
So what's up then?
1068
00:53:54,365 --> 00:53:56,365
You got cars?
1069
00:53:56,367 --> 00:53:59,768
Yeah. I have a car. Sure.
1070
00:53:59,770 --> 00:54:01,570
What kind of car you got?
1071
00:54:01,572 --> 00:54:05,007
It's a 2005 BMW.
1072
00:54:05,009 --> 00:54:07,776
Oh shit!
[loud, distorted guitar again]
1073
00:54:07,778 --> 00:54:10,012
Yeah! C'mon, c'mon! Fuck it up!
1074
00:54:10,014 --> 00:54:13,382
That's a beamer song, man!
Look at you and your beamer
1075
00:54:13,384 --> 00:54:17,386
and your iced expresso
motha fuckin' machine!
1076
00:54:17,388 --> 00:54:18,571
Yeah.
1077
00:54:18,572 --> 00:54:19,755
How come you know Kelsey?
1078
00:54:19,757 --> 00:54:22,391
We met at a dumpster earlier.
1079
00:54:22,393 --> 00:54:25,394
Ya'll met at a dumpster and
then you came into my house?
1080
00:54:25,396 --> 00:54:26,028
Yeah.
1081
00:54:26,030 --> 00:54:27,596
Hey Jew boy! Come here!
1082
00:54:27,598 --> 00:54:28,397
Kelsey.
1083
00:54:28,399 --> 00:54:29,798
That's her. Excuse me.
1084
00:54:29,800 --> 00:54:33,402
No, no, no! Yo, yo, yo,
are you askin' or tellin' me?
1085
00:54:33,404 --> 00:54:35,404
What?
1086
00:54:35,405 --> 00:54:37,405
A said are you askin' me, or
tellin' me?
1087
00:54:37,408 --> 00:54:38,807
Askin' or tellin'?
1088
00:54:38,809 --> 00:54:41,410
It's two mu fuckin'...
1089
00:54:41,412 --> 00:54:43,612
Askin' or tellin'?
1090
00:54:43,614 --> 00:54:46,815
Askin'...
1091
00:54:46,817 --> 00:54:48,884
or tellin'?
1092
00:54:50,621 --> 00:54:52,688
Askin'...
1093
00:54:56,427 --> 00:54:58,060
It's a riddle.
1094
00:54:58,062 --> 00:54:59,378
It's a what?
1095
00:54:59,379 --> 00:55:00,695
You wait here.
1096
00:55:02,433 --> 00:55:05,434
Oh.
1097
00:55:05,435 --> 00:55:08,436
Hey, dude. Get in here.
C'mon. Oh fuck.
1098
00:55:08,439 --> 00:55:12,975
Sorry this isn't very J Crew
of me. Gimme some fire.
1099
00:55:12,977 --> 00:55:16,445
I need a light, Schlomo.
The matches are over there.
1100
00:55:16,447 --> 00:55:20,316
I got a big piece of crap
hanging out of my asshole.
1101
00:55:27,458 --> 00:55:30,459
[cough] Very cool.
1102
00:55:30,461 --> 00:55:32,094
Ahh...
[pooping]
1103
00:55:32,096 --> 00:55:35,364
Yup, that melted my spike.
1104
00:55:35,866 --> 00:55:37,933
C'mon, fuck-o.
1105
00:55:40,471 --> 00:55:42,338
[MUSIC]
1106
00:55:46,677 --> 00:55:50,479
Well that's my time, lesbians.
My name is Kate Mancini,
1107
00:55:50,481 --> 00:55:55,351
and I'll be in the lobby giving
shitty blowjobs all night.
1108
00:55:59,123 --> 00:56:01,690
Hey, just a warning on those.
This is a woman who took
1109
00:56:01,692 --> 00:56:04,493
blowjob lessons by watching
a dog lick peanut butter
1110
00:56:04,495 --> 00:56:06,495
off the top of it's mouth, so
1111
00:56:06,497 --> 00:56:10,366
she's not kidding about those
shitty blowjob, folks.
1112
00:56:14,505 --> 00:56:16,372
[clapping]
1113
00:56:16,907 --> 00:56:18,507
Fuck yeah.
1114
00:56:18,509 --> 00:56:20,709
What? Are you here for the
shitty blowjob?
1115
00:56:20,711 --> 00:56:23,912
Yeah. Where do I sign in?
I want one.
1116
00:56:23,914 --> 00:56:27,716
Well whip it out brother. Your
dick isn't gonna suck itself.
1117
00:56:27,718 --> 00:56:31,153
Kate, you are so fucking funny!
You're hysterical!
1118
00:56:31,155 --> 00:56:33,839
I'm a huge fan.
1119
00:56:33,840 --> 00:56:36,524
Yeah right! I always zero in on
the chode who isn't laughing
1120
00:56:36,527 --> 00:56:38,127
and tonight, that chode was you.
1121
00:56:38,128 --> 00:56:39,728
I'm gonna laugh a lot later
when I'm at home,
1122
00:56:39,730 --> 00:56:41,163
alone with all my cats.
1123
00:56:41,165 --> 00:56:44,166
Wow! You are such a kiss ass!
1124
00:56:44,168 --> 00:56:48,537
So, where the fuck...
do you live?
1125
00:56:48,539 --> 00:56:49,738
I'm sorry that's
a little forward.
1126
00:56:49,740 --> 00:56:50,539
Where do you live?
1127
00:56:50,541 --> 00:56:52,541
I rep Long Beach, son.
1128
00:56:52,543 --> 00:56:55,544
You're gonna drive back to
Long Beach tonight?
1129
00:56:55,546 --> 00:56:59,548
In the dark?
You should get a hotel room.
1130
00:56:59,550 --> 00:57:01,751
What do you own a fucking
Days Inn or something?
1131
00:57:01,752 --> 00:57:04,553
Oh, are you a housekeeper?
1132
00:57:04,555 --> 00:57:06,188
[chuckle] There you go again.
1133
00:57:06,190 --> 00:57:07,556
[knock, knock]
1134
00:57:07,558 --> 00:57:10,559
"Housekeeping!
I here to steal iPad!"
1135
00:57:10,561 --> 00:57:14,563
I'm not a housekeeper. I'm just
a guy who's enjoying your riff
1136
00:57:14,565 --> 00:57:16,766
so much, that he wants to
get you a hotel room...
1137
00:57:16,767 --> 00:57:21,570
Get a room? Hmm. And hang
out, and get raped...
1138
00:57:21,572 --> 00:57:25,207
by a Frankenstein impersonator?
Pass.
1139
00:57:25,209 --> 00:57:29,778
Raped? Raped? Rape?
1140
00:57:29,780 --> 00:57:31,780
Nobody rapes anymore.
1141
00:57:31,782 --> 00:57:34,583
That's out. You know what's in?
1142
00:57:34,585 --> 00:57:37,786
Hotel rooms. Get in hotel
rooms with strangers.
1143
00:57:37,788 --> 00:57:41,223
And I'm gonna give you a bath,
and I'm gonna tuck you into bed,
1144
00:57:41,225 --> 00:57:43,509
and I'm gonna give you a
glass of warm milk,
1145
00:57:43,510 --> 00:57:45,794
and I'm gonna read you a story.
Something from the Bible.
1146
00:57:45,796 --> 00:57:48,797
So I'd be like your daughter
and you'd be like my dad?
1147
00:57:48,799 --> 00:57:50,599
If that's what you
took from that, yes.
1148
00:57:50,601 --> 00:57:52,601
And you'd, comb the knots
out of my hair,
1149
00:57:52,603 --> 00:57:54,803
talcum my pink asshole and check
for monsters under my bed
1150
00:57:54,805 --> 00:57:56,605
'cause you're my dad?
1151
00:57:56,607 --> 00:58:00,609
Yeah. All three. I'm your dad.
1152
00:58:00,611 --> 00:58:02,611
That would be amazing!
1153
00:58:02,613 --> 00:58:04,613
Are you being serious
about this right now?
1154
00:58:04,615 --> 00:58:06,014
'Cause I'm totally
being serious.
1155
00:58:06,016 --> 00:58:08,617
I will do that shit all
night. You have no idea.
1156
00:58:08,619 --> 00:58:10,619
Well, I'm being serious...
1157
00:58:10,621 --> 00:58:14,623
young lady, now let's go!
Or no supper, no nothing!
1158
00:58:14,625 --> 00:58:16,125
Now let's go. C'mon.
1159
00:58:16,126 --> 00:58:17,626
Oh, but daddy, I have to tinkle.
1160
00:58:17,628 --> 00:58:20,629
You can tinkle at the motel, now
let's go, Kathrine. Chop, chop!
1161
00:58:20,631 --> 00:58:22,792
Or I'll turn this car
around, you little bitch!
1162
00:58:29,273 --> 00:58:30,639
Okay! Alright. Okay.
1163
00:58:30,641 --> 00:58:32,508
Touch my chicken!
1164
00:58:35,646 --> 00:58:37,646
[sniff] [MUSIC]
1165
00:58:37,648 --> 00:58:39,648
I'm writing this
movie about ferries.
1166
00:58:39,650 --> 00:58:42,284
It's got these three little
fairies that climb the mountain,
1167
00:58:42,286 --> 00:58:43,852
and they all have ferry
abortions.
1168
00:58:43,854 --> 00:58:46,855
This Filipino guy I met, he's
gonna produce this shit.
1169
00:58:46,857 --> 00:58:48,924
Produce my shit!
1170
00:58:49,660 --> 00:58:54,663
Fuck, my fuckin' toe nail is
gonna pop the fuck off again!
1171
00:58:54,665 --> 00:58:55,864
[pounding the floor]
1172
00:58:55,866 --> 00:58:58,066
What're you doing later?
1173
00:58:58,068 --> 00:59:01,670
Let's go to the beach and
let's fucking find tarantulas,
1174
00:59:01,672 --> 00:59:04,673
and put 'em in a jar,
and eat 'em.
1175
00:59:04,675 --> 00:59:06,675
I gotta get some food coloring.
1176
00:59:06,677 --> 00:59:07,677
I wanna shadow box!
1177
00:59:07,678 --> 00:59:10,078
Okay, you're getting hysterical.
1178
00:59:10,080 --> 00:59:12,147
Come here.
1179
00:59:13,684 --> 00:59:15,884
Oh my God,
You smell like a horse!
1180
00:59:15,886 --> 00:59:17,686
That means it's bath time.
1181
00:59:17,688 --> 00:59:19,087
When you smell like a horse,...
1182
00:59:19,089 --> 00:59:19,888
Bath time!
1183
00:59:19,889 --> 00:59:20,688
Get with the bath.
1184
00:59:20,691 --> 00:59:22,558
I love bath time.
1185
00:59:24,895 --> 00:59:28,397
But daddy...
1186
00:59:28,398 --> 00:59:31,900
Oh, honey! You are just going up
right before my very eyes!
1187
00:59:31,902 --> 00:59:36,338
But daddy, why are you trying to
stick you tounge down my thwoat?
1188
00:59:36,340 --> 00:59:38,907
Honey, daddy's worried that
you have a soar throat.
1189
00:59:38,909 --> 00:59:41,710
And I've misplaced my
thermometer so I was going to
1190
00:59:41,712 --> 00:59:43,712
check your temperature
with my tongue.
1191
00:59:43,714 --> 00:59:46,715
Yeah. My tonsils are
all hurty daddy.
1192
00:59:46,717 --> 00:59:48,717
That's what I was worried about.
1193
00:59:48,719 --> 00:59:50,919
So open up and say "Ahh"
1194
00:59:50,921 --> 00:59:51,421
Ahhhh!
1195
01:00:00,130 --> 01:00:02,931
Oh my God, you should totally
come on my podcast as my fake,
1196
01:00:02,933 --> 01:00:05,734
creepy dad and I'll interview
you while you try to trick me
1197
01:00:05,736 --> 01:00:08,370
into some fucked up molestation.
1198
01:00:08,372 --> 01:00:10,739
That'd be really funny.
1199
01:00:10,741 --> 01:00:12,941
Open your mouth.
1200
01:00:12,943 --> 01:00:13,942
[spit]
1201
01:00:13,944 --> 01:00:14,743
AH!
1202
01:00:14,745 --> 01:00:16,378
[laughter]
1203
01:00:16,380 --> 01:00:18,747
Can you stop being punk rock
for five minutes?
1204
01:00:18,749 --> 01:00:22,751
Can you stop being a creepy
robot man with a metal butthole?
1205
01:00:22,753 --> 01:00:26,755
Alright, listen. I'm serious.
Just try it. Act normal!
1206
01:00:26,757 --> 01:00:28,757
One minute.
Ready, set, go.
1207
01:00:28,759 --> 01:00:33,962
"I am a robot rapist. I water my
electric prick with your
1208
01:00:33,964 --> 01:00:36,765
human pussy juice."
1209
01:00:36,767 --> 01:00:38,400
Okay, let's try
something different.
1210
01:00:38,402 --> 01:00:40,769
Let's hang out on the bed,
listen to your music,
1211
01:00:40,771 --> 01:00:42,404
just talk, get to know
each other...
1212
01:00:42,406 --> 01:00:45,774
Where are you from?
What does your mother do?
1213
01:00:45,776 --> 01:00:47,843
Fuck you.
1214
01:00:48,779 --> 01:00:50,779
How's it going wisenheimer?
1215
01:00:50,781 --> 01:00:51,980
Holy shit!
1216
01:00:51,982 --> 01:00:53,782
I'm sorry. That's another
project that I'm
1217
01:00:53,784 --> 01:00:56,418
currently working on.
It's like a side project.
1218
01:00:56,420 --> 01:00:59,421
Walkie fuckin' talkie.
1219
01:00:59,423 --> 01:01:02,791
What are you some kind
of Nazi spy?
1220
01:01:02,793 --> 01:01:06,428
"Vizen-Himer, get on zee train
with zee otha priz-ners!
1221
01:01:06,430 --> 01:01:08,797
I vant more lamp shades."
1222
01:01:08,799 --> 01:01:13,802
"Certainly, frauline. But first
I must use zee potty."
1223
01:01:13,804 --> 01:01:15,871
[MUSIC]
1224
01:01:16,807 --> 01:01:18,807
Take off your uniform.
1225
01:01:18,809 --> 01:01:21,009
Hey. That's a great idea.
1226
01:01:21,011 --> 01:01:21,810
Yeah? You like it?
1227
01:01:21,812 --> 01:01:22,811
Yeah. Let's do that.
1228
01:01:22,813 --> 01:01:23,445
You fuckin' like it?
1229
01:01:23,447 --> 01:01:25,130
Yeah, I love it.
1230
01:01:25,131 --> 01:01:26,814
You love that shit.
You love it.
1231
01:01:26,817 --> 01:01:28,450
Take it off.
Show me those titties.
1232
01:01:28,452 --> 01:01:29,918
Alright.
1233
01:01:31,021 --> 01:01:33,021
Oh, look it Rufus.
1234
01:01:33,023 --> 01:01:36,825
Look at him and his
little Jew nipples.
1235
01:01:36,827 --> 01:01:39,027
Hey, what color was
your hair originally?
1236
01:01:39,029 --> 01:01:40,829
Bald.
1237
01:01:40,831 --> 01:01:42,831
You like peanut butter burritos?
1238
01:01:42,833 --> 01:01:43,699
What?
1239
01:01:45,035 --> 01:01:46,835
Hey Jeff, man could you
fuckin' not beep in
1240
01:01:46,837 --> 01:01:48,037
when I'm trying to do my shit?
1241
01:01:48,038 --> 01:01:51,039
Here ye, here ye,
I hereby decree
1242
01:01:51,041 --> 01:01:54,242
the implementing of the
sex-run mandated enema!
1243
01:01:54,244 --> 01:01:57,045
But don't worry, I have to
get them all the time.
1244
01:01:57,047 --> 01:02:00,749
It's easy. And mandatory.
1245
01:02:03,487 --> 01:02:05,854
You gotta be fuckin' kidding me.
1246
01:02:05,856 --> 01:02:06,855
You hear from Jordan?
1247
01:02:06,857 --> 01:02:09,858
No, I'm getting kind of worried.
1248
01:02:09,860 --> 01:02:11,493
I'm sure he's doing great.
1249
01:02:11,495 --> 01:02:14,763
Just let me do it! C'mon!
1250
01:02:16,867 --> 01:02:18,967
Great. It's going great.
1251
01:02:18,968 --> 01:02:21,068
I knew you were a faggotron.
I knew it!
1252
01:02:21,071 --> 01:02:25,073
Hey Kate, are you ready for
some serious funny business?
1253
01:02:25,075 --> 01:02:26,775
[blows nose]
1254
01:02:27,878 --> 01:02:29,511
Do a snot rocket...
Oh God!
1255
01:02:29,513 --> 01:02:30,879
Do a snot shot!
Miss, please!
1256
01:02:30,881 --> 01:02:32,197
Do it!
1257
01:02:32,198 --> 01:02:33,514
No! Please! Settle down!
1258
01:02:33,517 --> 01:02:35,517
I gotta go. Ted's giving theenema...
1259
01:02:35,519 --> 01:02:38,887
Did you say Ted?
He's back on the run?
1260
01:02:38,889 --> 01:02:42,891
Ted is about to give an enema toa comedian. Says she's a scream.
1261
01:02:42,893 --> 01:02:45,093
Ya, well I'm doing pretty
good too, Jeff. Alright?
1262
01:02:45,095 --> 01:02:47,095
I'm doin' it with thishot, naked chick.
1263
01:02:47,097 --> 01:02:49,164
Here, here I'll show it you.
1264
01:02:51,902 --> 01:02:55,971
Oh! She's topless.
I can see her breasts!
1265
01:02:57,107 --> 01:03:02,911
Where did you come from?What did your mom do? Huh?
1266
01:03:02,913 --> 01:03:04,780
She's a laugh riot
1267
01:03:05,916 --> 01:03:07,916
This is gonna be classic!
It's gonna go viral.
1268
01:03:07,918 --> 01:03:09,551
You're gonna get
hits up the wazoo!
1269
01:03:09,553 --> 01:03:11,319
Yeah, my fuckin' wazoo.
1270
01:03:11,321 --> 01:03:13,121
Now you know what you're
doing back there, right?
1271
01:03:13,123 --> 01:03:14,923
You're not gonna make me shit
out of my mouth, right?
1272
01:03:14,925 --> 01:03:18,126
Oh, I don't think so. Here get
on the bed. Get on all fours.
1273
01:03:18,128 --> 01:03:20,128
Just like I used to dowith my grandpa.
1274
01:03:20,130 --> 01:03:22,931
Now, faceplant.
1275
01:03:22,933 --> 01:03:24,533
Now I'm gonna raise up
that a little.
1276
01:03:24,534 --> 01:03:26,134
Now am I going to feel
a little prick?
1277
01:03:26,136 --> 01:03:29,137
God, I can't believe you
talked me into this shit.
1278
01:03:29,139 --> 01:03:30,572
Oh, God.
1279
01:03:30,574 --> 01:03:32,574
I don't feel anything.
Is it in there?
1280
01:03:32,576 --> 01:03:34,342
I don't feel anything at all.
1281
01:03:34,344 --> 01:03:35,143
[spit]
1282
01:03:35,145 --> 01:03:37,212
Patience...
1283
01:03:38,949 --> 01:03:39,948
You gotta be patient!
1284
01:03:39,950 --> 01:03:42,951
Ah! Good morning, Vietnam!
1285
01:03:42,953 --> 01:03:46,955
It's really in there.Looks just like the diagram.
1286
01:03:46,957 --> 01:03:48,557
This is classic.
1287
01:03:48,558 --> 01:03:50,158
Make sure you're not in theway of the camera.
1288
01:03:50,160 --> 01:03:51,960
I'm totally puttingthis on YouTube.
1289
01:03:51,962 --> 01:03:54,596
Well, I'm totally putting thistube in you
1290
01:03:54,598 --> 01:03:56,965
Yes, strike a pose, Madonna.That's great.
1291
01:03:56,967 --> 01:03:58,967
Ask her if she's ever had
her privates pierced.
1292
01:03:58,969 --> 01:04:01,970
Why don't you ask her, Jeff?
You should be doing this.
1293
01:04:01,972 --> 01:04:05,173
Um, really? Have you everpierced your genetalia?
1294
01:04:05,175 --> 01:04:09,978
Yeah, I did a lot. That shit got
infected too and I almost died.
1295
01:04:09,980 --> 01:04:12,080
Wow. She talked to me.
1296
01:04:12,081 --> 01:04:14,181
You should be doing this!
It's fun. It'd be good for you.
1297
01:04:14,184 --> 01:04:16,251
You should be in an oven.
1298
01:04:16,987 --> 01:04:19,621
I think that's enough for one.
I'm starting to get full.
1299
01:04:19,623 --> 01:04:21,145
No room for desert.
1300
01:04:21,146 --> 01:04:22,668
Oh, c'mon, you've only had
like a bag and a half.
1301
01:04:22,669 --> 01:04:24,191
You're doing great.
You're really doing great.
1302
01:04:24,194 --> 01:04:25,994
Oh, no way, it feels like
I'm gonna burst.
1303
01:04:25,996 --> 01:04:28,196
You know who's gonna burst? The
crowd. The crowd's gonna burst
1304
01:04:28,198 --> 01:04:29,998
from laughter when they see
this fuckin' video!
1305
01:04:30,000 --> 01:04:32,000
You're doing great. Hilarious!
1306
01:04:32,002 --> 01:04:34,002
But it's starting to hurt.We need to stop this shit.
1307
01:04:34,004 --> 01:04:36,004
Literally.
1308
01:04:36,005 --> 01:04:37,005
Kate, I'm gonna raise
your allowance
1309
01:04:37,031 --> 01:04:38,005
cuz you're such a
good little girl.
1310
01:04:38,008 --> 01:04:41,009
Now, keep drinking!
1311
01:04:41,011 --> 01:04:43,645
The essence of the life!
1312
01:04:43,647 --> 01:04:46,214
No. You have to fuck Rufusfirst. Everybody does.
1313
01:04:46,216 --> 01:04:47,816
How about second?
1314
01:04:47,817 --> 01:04:49,417
Nope. Now! He likes
it from behind.
1315
01:04:49,419 --> 01:04:50,485
Fine.
1316
01:04:51,221 --> 01:04:54,289
But I like it from the front.
1317
01:05:08,438 --> 01:05:10,505
You fuckin' Rufus?
1318
01:05:22,252 --> 01:05:24,452
Where you going, Liev Schreiber?
1319
01:05:24,454 --> 01:05:25,553
[door slam]
1320
01:05:25,555 --> 01:05:27,455
How 'bout I kick your ass first?
1321
01:05:27,456 --> 01:05:29,356
Oh, no. I'm cool.
1322
01:05:29,357 --> 01:05:31,257
Oh, you're cool? Bitch come in
here and try to fuck my girl!
1323
01:05:31,261 --> 01:05:33,261
You think you can walk in my
motherfuckin' house and stick
1324
01:05:33,263 --> 01:05:35,463
you're Jew dick in my
motherfuckin' pussy?
1325
01:05:35,465 --> 01:05:38,533
Oh, I'm gonna turn
into a creature...
1326
01:05:40,070 --> 01:05:44,072
I'm gonna make you feel regret!
1327
01:05:44,074 --> 01:05:46,074
We're an ogre!
1328
01:05:46,076 --> 01:05:47,943
RAWR!
1329
01:05:50,280 --> 01:05:53,715
Oh, you fucked up! I'm too full!
1330
01:05:53,717 --> 01:05:55,906
I did it just the way
the manual said.
1331
01:05:55,907 --> 01:05:58,096
I think you're fine.
You're fine. You're good.
1332
01:05:58,097 --> 01:06:00,286
No, no, no, no. It's stuck.
Call an ambulance.
1333
01:06:00,290 --> 01:06:01,690
No, It's not stuck, I just tookit out.
1334
01:06:01,691 --> 01:06:03,091
Here, I can't call 911,
they'll kill my dad.
1335
01:06:03,093 --> 01:06:04,726
But what if something's wrong?
Please...
1336
01:06:04,728 --> 01:06:06,912
Nothing's wrong, you
just need to purge!
1337
01:06:06,913 --> 01:06:09,097
You just need to purge, okay?
You just need to push it out.
1338
01:06:09,099 --> 01:06:11,099
You're just kinda full and you
need to push it out, okay?
1339
01:06:11,101 --> 01:06:13,301
Push. Push! PUSH!
1340
01:06:13,303 --> 01:06:15,370
[Anal water blasts]
1341
01:06:19,309 --> 01:06:21,376
[Anal blasts continue]
1342
01:06:28,318 --> 01:06:29,751
Throw up on this bitch!
1343
01:06:29,753 --> 01:06:31,219
Okay!
1344
01:06:34,324 --> 01:06:36,124
[Punch] [Bite crunch]
1345
01:06:36,126 --> 01:06:39,327
Ow! Ah!
Oh my God!
1346
01:06:39,329 --> 01:06:42,130
Ah! Ahh!
1347
01:06:42,132 --> 01:06:45,333
You bit my fucking fingers off!
1348
01:06:45,335 --> 01:06:47,402
[MUSIC CONTINUES...]
1349
01:06:49,773 --> 01:06:53,041
Hey. Do you mind if we
call house keeping?
1350
01:07:04,154 --> 01:07:06,021
[Cell phone rings]
1351
01:07:09,159 --> 01:07:10,558
Hello?
Hello?
1352
01:07:10,560 --> 01:07:11,626
Hell-o?
1353
01:07:12,362 --> 01:07:13,795
Hello?
1354
01:07:13,797 --> 01:07:16,164
Hellooo!
1355
01:07:16,166 --> 01:07:18,166
HELLOOOO!
1356
01:07:18,168 --> 01:07:26,168
"Hello. You got me.Under your spell
1357
01:07:27,377 --> 01:07:35,377
and I fell right away.Hello, and thank you
1358
01:07:37,387 --> 01:07:44,292
for lookin' at me when I waslookin' at you..."
1359
01:07:44,828 --> 01:07:46,194
I don't wanna hear a joke,
1360
01:07:46,196 --> 01:07:49,197
or see any poop for at
least a year.
1361
01:07:49,199 --> 01:07:52,400
Maybe I'm not explaining
mine well enough.
1362
01:07:52,402 --> 01:07:56,204
Look, it doesn't matter.
I'm glad you did it. And...
1363
01:07:56,206 --> 01:07:58,707
sorry I was mean to you.
1364
01:07:58,708 --> 01:08:01,209
Naw, I deserved it.
I was being a baby.
1365
01:08:01,211 --> 01:08:03,211
I've been kind of a baby
this whole time.
1366
01:08:03,213 --> 01:08:05,213
But hey, we're back
together now.
1367
01:08:05,215 --> 01:08:07,532
I think we're better together.
1368
01:08:07,533 --> 01:08:09,850
We're much better together.
We can do this! Alright?
1369
01:08:09,853 --> 01:08:13,221
You know what? I'm gonna
beep Jeff right now.
1370
01:08:13,223 --> 01:08:14,856
Ask him for a big one!
1371
01:08:14,858 --> 01:08:17,625
Do it. You know, you're right.
We can do anything together.
1372
01:08:17,627 --> 01:08:18,860
We can do anyone together.
1373
01:08:18,862 --> 01:08:21,429
Kate Hudson? Who cares!
Bring it on!
1374
01:08:21,431 --> 01:08:23,498
Hey, Jeff.
1375
01:08:23,867 --> 01:08:28,236
Listen, I know comedian and
punk rock girl were fruitless,
1376
01:08:28,238 --> 01:08:32,240
but uh, we're gonna
make it up to you.
1377
01:08:32,242 --> 01:08:35,243
Give us the hardest
one you've got.
1378
01:08:35,245 --> 01:08:37,445
Because I'm back with my
best friend,
1379
01:08:37,447 --> 01:08:42,450
and we are gonna crush it!
Big time!
1380
01:08:42,452 --> 01:08:46,254
You're back together, huh.Well, then,
1381
01:08:46,256 --> 01:08:48,890
I want you to pay a visit to...
1382
01:08:48,892 --> 01:08:53,261
Jennifer. Peters.
1383
01:08:53,263 --> 01:08:54,662
Jennifer Peters...
1384
01:08:54,664 --> 01:08:57,265
Camp Shalom Jennifer Peters?
1385
01:08:57,267 --> 01:08:58,666
She lives here?
1386
01:08:58,668 --> 01:09:00,902
Indeed she does.
1387
01:09:00,904 --> 01:09:04,472
Alright, Jeff. No big speeches.
Just tell us where she is.
1388
01:09:04,474 --> 01:09:07,275
I know exactly where she is.
1389
01:09:07,277 --> 01:09:08,977
Of course he does.
1390
01:09:08,978 --> 01:09:10,678
She's at a bar called "Bar"and I forbit you
1391
01:09:10,680 --> 01:09:13,481
to utter one word about meor what's going on.
1392
01:09:13,483 --> 01:09:15,283
I forbid it.
1393
01:09:15,285 --> 01:09:18,686
And hey, be good to her.
1394
01:09:18,688 --> 01:09:22,290
Jennifer Peters still exists.
1395
01:09:22,292 --> 01:09:25,293
I can't picture her in the
world we live in now.
1396
01:09:25,295 --> 01:09:26,494
She doesn't fit.
1397
01:09:26,496 --> 01:09:28,096
You were so in love with her.
1398
01:09:28,097 --> 01:09:29,697
You were so in love with her!
Everyone was in love with her!
1399
01:09:29,699 --> 01:09:32,700
Rabbi Gold had to be escorted
off camp grounds by security.
1400
01:09:32,702 --> 01:09:34,302
Alright, let's not sweat it.
1401
01:09:34,304 --> 01:09:37,505
She can't be that kind of
Jennifer Peters anymore.
1402
01:09:37,507 --> 01:09:39,941
Think about it.
She's gotta be disgusting now.
1403
01:09:39,943 --> 01:09:42,710
You're right.
She's probably a big, fat,
1404
01:09:42,712 --> 01:09:44,946
ugly, nasty, skanky
Jennifer Peters now.
1405
01:09:44,948 --> 01:09:46,514
That's the Jennifer Peters
she is!
1406
01:09:46,516 --> 01:09:50,318
This is so like Jeff, to give
us something this gross.
1407
01:09:50,320 --> 01:09:52,320
This is so Jeff.
He's fucking with us.
1408
01:09:52,322 --> 01:09:54,589
This is so Jeff.
Disgusting! Ew!
1409
01:09:56,326 --> 01:09:58,960
It's 1:30! We gotta get to
the bar right before last call!
1410
01:09:58,962 --> 01:10:01,746
[MUSIC]
1411
01:10:01,747 --> 01:10:04,531
Oh, great. We're fucked.
No, no, no, no, no, no!
1412
01:10:04,534 --> 01:10:07,535
Jennifer's waiting for us.
We gotta go!
1413
01:10:07,537 --> 01:10:09,537
We're on a midnight sex run.
Let's fuckin' run it.
1414
01:10:09,539 --> 01:10:12,340
C'mon, c'mon.
Let's go. Let's go!
1415
01:10:12,342 --> 01:10:14,342
[honking]
1416
01:10:14,344 --> 01:10:16,211
[MUSIC CONTINUES]
1417
01:10:46,576 --> 01:10:47,642
Ted!
1418
01:10:48,378 --> 01:10:49,377
Ted!
1419
01:10:49,379 --> 01:10:51,880
Who's that?
1420
01:10:51,881 --> 01:10:54,382
That... That's just like a side
project I'm working on.
1421
01:10:54,384 --> 01:10:56,384
Ted, I see you.
1422
01:10:56,386 --> 01:11:00,388
Are you seriously not going
to come over and talk to me?
1423
01:11:00,390 --> 01:11:01,389
Nice to see you.
1424
01:11:01,391 --> 01:11:03,391
Good to see you too.
1425
01:11:03,393 --> 01:11:04,392
I'm kind of in the
middle of something.
1426
01:11:04,394 --> 01:11:05,593
No. Not gonna let go.
1427
01:11:05,595 --> 01:11:07,662
[MUSIC]
1428
01:11:31,621 --> 01:11:33,621
It's really you, right?
1429
01:11:33,623 --> 01:11:35,423
I'm not dreaming?
1430
01:11:35,425 --> 01:11:36,824
If it's a dream than it's mine.
1431
01:11:36,826 --> 01:11:39,427
I can't believe I'm
standing in a bar at 2 A.M.
1432
01:11:39,429 --> 01:11:41,829
next to Jordan from Camp Shalom.
1433
01:11:41,831 --> 01:11:44,432
Jennifer Peters...
1434
01:11:44,434 --> 01:11:45,433
Shalom!
1435
01:11:45,435 --> 01:11:47,936
Shalom.
1436
01:11:47,937 --> 01:11:50,438
What're you doing here? This
is such a crazy surprise...
1437
01:11:50,440 --> 01:11:52,640
and coincidence.
1438
01:11:52,642 --> 01:11:55,076
I didn't know you lived in L.A.
but it totally makes sense.
1439
01:11:55,078 --> 01:11:56,644
You were always so funny
and talented
1440
01:11:56,646 --> 01:11:58,846
in our camp productions.
1441
01:11:58,848 --> 01:12:01,149
It's true.
1442
01:12:01,150 --> 01:12:03,451
Yeah. Remember when we put on
Tortoise and the Hare?
1443
01:12:03,453 --> 01:12:06,087
You were the Hare and you
were so bratty... adorable,
1444
01:12:06,089 --> 01:12:09,457
but bratty... that you actually
won the race at the end?
1445
01:12:09,459 --> 01:12:11,159
Well it made more sense!
I mean,
1446
01:12:11,160 --> 01:12:12,860
The Hare would have been
refreshed after his nap.
1447
01:12:12,862 --> 01:12:14,462
Think about it.
1448
01:12:14,464 --> 01:12:17,465
Well, I had to console the
Tortoise all night.
1449
01:12:17,467 --> 01:12:22,670
I do remember that. He was
crying. Poor kid. Who was that?
1450
01:12:22,672 --> 01:12:24,672
It was Jeff.
1451
01:12:24,674 --> 01:12:25,740
Oh.
1452
01:12:25,742 --> 01:12:28,676
So I haven't heard from you
in two days.
1453
01:12:28,678 --> 01:12:30,478
What's the deal?
You over it?
1454
01:12:30,480 --> 01:12:32,113
No. I got real busy.
1455
01:12:32,115 --> 01:12:34,482
Oh, really? All of the sudden?
That must be nice.
1456
01:12:34,484 --> 01:12:36,684
No. It's not nice.
1457
01:12:36,686 --> 01:12:39,687
Really? Well I don't know man,
it's kind of weird because,
1458
01:12:39,689 --> 01:12:44,692
you know, you were all high on
me, texting non-stop, and
1459
01:12:44,694 --> 01:12:47,495
I don't know, I thought,
I miss my funny Teddy texts.
1460
01:12:47,497 --> 01:12:51,132
Well, I haven't felt too
funny lately, so...
1461
01:12:51,134 --> 01:12:55,503
I even miss the gross
pictures at night.
1462
01:12:55,505 --> 01:12:57,138
Really?
1463
01:12:57,140 --> 01:12:59,507
I can get you more of those.
Okay?
1464
01:12:59,509 --> 01:13:03,511
"Hey There. You're a good little
boy. You're going to be okay.
1465
01:13:03,513 --> 01:13:07,515
Gimme a kiss. All better.
1466
01:13:07,517 --> 01:13:10,018
That's how you did it?
1467
01:13:10,019 --> 01:13:12,520
Well, yeah. It was better,
but yeah. Basically.
1468
01:13:12,522 --> 01:13:14,722
Anyway, enough about me.
What about you?
1469
01:13:14,724 --> 01:13:16,724
What have you been doing?
I mean, it's been years.
1470
01:13:16,726 --> 01:13:18,526
You could of done
anything you wanted.
1471
01:13:18,528 --> 01:13:20,928
That's not even close to true.
1472
01:13:20,930 --> 01:13:23,731
I am merely a nurse.
1473
01:13:23,733 --> 01:13:24,732
A nurse?
1474
01:13:24,734 --> 01:13:27,535
Yeah. You know like um...
1475
01:13:27,537 --> 01:13:30,171
"Get me the paddles... Stat!"
That kind of thing.
1476
01:13:30,173 --> 01:13:33,174
Yeah. Wow. I feel so stupid
trying to sell you Band-Aids.
1477
01:13:33,176 --> 01:13:36,444
You're a nurse.
1478
01:13:36,746 --> 01:13:38,179
Tell me more. What else?
1479
01:13:38,181 --> 01:13:39,747
Uh, you want more, let's see...
1480
01:13:39,749 --> 01:13:41,749
I want everything.
1481
01:13:41,750 --> 01:13:43,750
Okay. I volunteer at the
homeless shelter.
1482
01:13:43,753 --> 01:13:46,554
I'm on cornbread detail.
1483
01:13:46,556 --> 01:13:49,190
And I've been taking a
stand-up comedy class,
1484
01:13:49,192 --> 01:13:51,959
but that's mostly to get over my
fear of being on stage because
1485
01:13:51,961 --> 01:13:54,762
I've been playing guitar in
an all girl punk band.
1486
01:13:54,764 --> 01:13:58,566
That's amazing.
You're all of them...
1487
01:13:58,568 --> 01:14:00,568
I mean you're the whole package.
1488
01:14:00,570 --> 01:14:02,770
Maybe we should do lunch
some time this week?
1489
01:14:02,772 --> 01:14:04,572
Lunch? No. No.
1490
01:14:04,574 --> 01:14:05,206
What?
1491
01:14:05,208 --> 01:14:07,775
I said no. No lunches!
1492
01:14:07,777 --> 01:14:09,210
Calm down.
1493
01:14:09,212 --> 01:14:09,977
I'm cool. No lunches.
1494
01:14:09,979 --> 01:14:10,578
Fine.
1495
01:14:10,580 --> 01:14:12,397
No lunch!
1496
01:14:12,398 --> 01:14:14,215
Okay. Fine. No more lunches.
Maybe dinner?
1497
01:14:14,217 --> 01:14:15,583
Dinner I can do. Dinner's fine.
1498
01:14:15,585 --> 01:14:17,585
But I gotta go.
Now I really gotta go.
1499
01:14:17,586 --> 01:14:19,586
Alright? Thank you. Alright?
What're you doi...
1500
01:14:19,589 --> 01:14:20,588
[kiss]
1501
01:14:20,590 --> 01:14:22,590
I've been wanting to do that.
1502
01:14:22,592 --> 01:14:23,591
Okay. You gotta let go.
Just stand here.
1503
01:14:23,593 --> 01:14:25,410
Talk to me forever.
1504
01:14:25,411 --> 01:14:27,228
No, I can't talk to you forever.
I gotta go. Please let go.
1505
01:14:27,230 --> 01:14:28,596
Please. Please let go!
1506
01:14:28,598 --> 01:14:30,598
You're so sweet now.
1507
01:14:30,600 --> 01:14:34,669
Decreased testosterone has
again worked its magic.
1508
01:14:35,605 --> 01:14:40,675
Are you kidding me?
This guy too!
1509
01:14:41,811 --> 01:14:43,311
Oh.
1510
01:14:43,312 --> 01:14:44,812
Oh? All I get is an "Oh"?
1511
01:14:44,814 --> 01:14:47,615
Are you still mad about
color war, Ted?
1512
01:14:47,617 --> 01:14:52,820
Jennifer, It's so great to see
you again. You have no idea.
1513
01:14:52,822 --> 01:14:55,623
You look like a swan
in a cardigan.
1514
01:14:55,625 --> 01:14:56,824
[laugh]
1515
01:14:56,826 --> 01:14:59,627
Are you okay?
1516
01:14:59,629 --> 01:15:03,030
You look mad and you
smell like a toilet.
1517
01:15:03,032 --> 01:15:06,267
I fell in some cat shit.
But I'm okay.
1518
01:15:06,269 --> 01:15:09,270
And I am mad, because I've been
waiting 23 years for that hug!
1519
01:15:09,272 --> 01:15:12,640
Can I have one more?
Just one more.
1520
01:15:12,642 --> 01:15:14,642
Oh you guys.
1521
01:15:14,644 --> 01:15:16,277
Look at us! All back
together again.
1522
01:15:16,279 --> 01:15:18,646
It's like a real kumbaya moment.
1523
01:15:18,648 --> 01:15:20,465
I'll say.
1524
01:15:20,466 --> 01:15:22,283
Kiddo, there you are! I've been
looking all over for you.
1525
01:15:22,285 --> 01:15:26,053
Julia and I want tacos and we
want you to come with us.
1526
01:15:26,055 --> 01:15:28,289
So I hope you're hungry,
'cause we're both starving.
1527
01:15:28,291 --> 01:15:31,659
Roland, let me introduce you.
This is Ted and Jordan.
1528
01:15:31,661 --> 01:15:33,294
We all went to camp together.
1529
01:15:33,296 --> 01:15:35,663
That's cute. Were
you guys counselors?
1530
01:15:35,665 --> 01:15:38,299
No. I was the kid that drowns,
1531
01:15:38,301 --> 01:15:40,668
and then comes back to
haunt all the campers
1532
01:15:40,670 --> 01:15:43,304
and Jen is next on my list.
1533
01:15:43,306 --> 01:15:45,673
We're here to kill Jennifer.
1534
01:15:45,675 --> 01:15:47,675
[laughter]
1535
01:15:47,677 --> 01:15:50,878
You're funny! You are funny.
Roland,
1536
01:15:50,880 --> 01:15:53,681
they're good guys. Okay?
They're good guys.
1537
01:15:53,683 --> 01:15:56,684
Sorry, he just gets a
little protective of me.
1538
01:15:56,686 --> 01:15:57,885
There's a lot of
creeps out there.
1539
01:15:57,887 --> 01:15:59,687
Yeah, there sure are.
1540
01:15:59,689 --> 01:16:01,689
They seem like good guys.
But uh,
1541
01:16:01,691 --> 01:16:04,692
why don't we just go back to my
house for Hulu and tacos?
1542
01:16:04,694 --> 01:16:06,894
I'm so tired.
I'm just gonna head home.
1543
01:16:06,896 --> 01:16:10,698
No. You are in no condition
to drive, young lady.
1544
01:16:10,700 --> 01:16:12,700
Why don't you just spend the
night on my couch or,
1545
01:16:12,702 --> 01:16:15,703
in my bed again. Head to toe.
Promise.
1546
01:16:15,705 --> 01:16:17,705
That's sweet but I only
had one drink and
1547
01:16:17,707 --> 01:16:20,107
Roland. your feet stink.
1548
01:16:20,109 --> 01:16:22,410
I heard that.
1549
01:16:22,411 --> 01:16:24,712
Did you hear that, Roland?
She thinks your feet are rancid.
1550
01:16:24,714 --> 01:16:28,349
Duly noted, Fred, but why
don't I use my stinky feet
1551
01:16:28,351 --> 01:16:30,735
and march you to your car,
my lady.
1552
01:16:30,736 --> 01:16:33,120
Oh no. Actually, we're gonna
walk you to your car, because
1553
01:16:33,122 --> 01:16:36,924
we haven't seen her since a
three legged race in 1990
1554
01:16:36,926 --> 01:16:38,926
and she's requested a rematch
1555
01:16:38,928 --> 01:16:41,729
so we got a lot of
catching up to do.
1556
01:16:41,731 --> 01:16:42,730
We'll take her to the car.
1557
01:16:42,731 --> 01:16:43,730
I'll walk you back to your car.
1558
01:16:43,733 --> 01:16:47,735
Roland, can we have a minute
please?
1559
01:16:47,737 --> 01:16:50,672
Uh, Jen?
1560
01:16:50,673 --> 01:16:53,608
You are killing our dads right
now. You're killing them.
1561
01:16:55,945 --> 01:16:59,747
I'm not surprised to see you
two are still butt buddies.
1562
01:16:59,749 --> 01:17:01,949
You're even wearing the
same shoes.
1563
01:17:01,951 --> 01:17:03,751
You were always the dynamic duo.
1564
01:17:03,753 --> 01:17:05,953
Yeah. I think it works for us.
1565
01:17:05,955 --> 01:17:10,391
But we're always open to a third
if you're interested.
1566
01:17:10,393 --> 01:17:12,960
Do you guys ever see Jeff?
1567
01:17:12,962 --> 01:17:17,765
Yeah. We're having brunch
with Jeff tomorrow.
1568
01:17:17,767 --> 01:17:19,434
Really?
1569
01:17:19,435 --> 01:17:21,102
Yeah. Big brunch.
1570
01:17:21,103 --> 01:17:22,770
Oh that's great.
I was nervous to even ask,
1571
01:17:22,772 --> 01:17:25,973
but that means you must be
making your peace with him.
1572
01:17:25,975 --> 01:17:30,177
We're really trying. It's an
ongoing process.
1573
01:17:30,179 --> 01:17:33,781
Well this is me.
Goodnight, boys to men.
1574
01:17:33,783 --> 01:17:35,416
It was really great
catching up with you.
1575
01:17:35,418 --> 01:17:37,785
I'm glad to see you're
both not too fat.
1576
01:17:37,787 --> 01:17:40,788
I guess I'll see you in
another 23 years?
1577
01:17:40,790 --> 01:17:42,423
You'll still be beautiful.
1578
01:17:42,425 --> 01:17:44,792
Ugh. I hope not.
1579
01:17:44,794 --> 01:17:46,193
Bye.
1580
01:17:46,195 --> 01:17:49,797
Bye? No, not bye. Not bye!
1581
01:17:49,799 --> 01:17:53,801
[knock knock] [MUSIC]
1582
01:17:53,803 --> 01:17:57,805
Quick question. Are you seeing
anyone? Or engaged or a lesbian?
1583
01:17:57,807 --> 01:18:00,808
No. No. No.
1584
01:18:00,810 --> 01:18:05,012
Jen, You're the greatest
girl ever. Okay?
1585
01:18:05,014 --> 01:18:06,814
I've never been able to
make a relationship
1586
01:18:06,816 --> 01:18:10,017
last more than 6 months.
And now I know why.
1587
01:18:10,019 --> 01:18:13,821
Because none of them
could measure up to you!
1588
01:18:13,823 --> 01:18:16,023
Excuse me.
1589
01:18:16,024 --> 01:18:18,224
Jen, things have been really
confusing since camp and
1590
01:18:18,227 --> 01:18:20,828
it's been a really crazy night,
but I'm seeing clearly now.
1591
01:18:20,830 --> 01:18:23,831
I'm seeing clearly for the
first time in a long time.
1592
01:18:23,833 --> 01:18:25,833
I've been holding a fuckin'
torch for you so long
1593
01:18:25,835 --> 01:18:28,836
that it's a nub.
Jen, it's a nub!
1594
01:18:28,838 --> 01:18:30,838
Don't you see what I'm trying to
tell you? I love you.
1595
01:18:30,840 --> 01:18:34,842
No. Jen, I love you more than
him. Alright? I love you a lot.
1596
01:18:34,844 --> 01:18:36,243
This is for real.
No, I love you more!
1597
01:18:36,245 --> 01:18:37,478
I wanna put my babies
inside of you.
1598
01:18:37,480 --> 01:18:39,847
You guys! You guys.
MUSIC
1599
01:18:39,849 --> 01:18:42,850
I used to have such a crush
on both of you.
1600
01:18:42,852 --> 01:18:46,053
I couldn't decide who I was in
love with more. I thought...
1601
01:18:46,055 --> 01:18:49,256
all three of us would get
married and live in a tree.
1602
01:18:49,258 --> 01:18:52,059
But after what you guys
did to Jeff,
1603
01:18:52,061 --> 01:18:54,495
I just couldn't forgive that.
1604
01:18:54,497 --> 01:18:57,264
I'm sorry, but when you
blew up Jeff's genitals...
1605
01:18:57,266 --> 01:19:00,868
my heart blew up with them.
1606
01:19:00,870 --> 01:19:05,740
Good luck. You'll find
somebody... Most people do.
1607
01:19:10,880 --> 01:19:12,747
[MUSIC CONTINUES]
1608
01:19:26,095 --> 01:19:28,095
Hey, Jeff! Why did you do that?
1609
01:19:28,097 --> 01:19:31,098
Because I wanted you to seesomething you couldn't have.
1610
01:19:31,100 --> 01:19:32,533
Has this all been
about her, Jeff?
1611
01:19:32,535 --> 01:19:34,902
Has this all been about
Jennifer fuckin' Peters?
1612
01:19:34,904 --> 01:19:36,904
Maybe.
1613
01:19:36,905 --> 01:19:38,905
Well the jokes on you, buddy,
because she loves us!
1614
01:19:38,908 --> 01:19:44,111
And she thinks you're a freak!
A peeing in a bag creep!
1615
01:19:44,113 --> 01:19:45,546
I don't believe you!
1616
01:19:45,548 --> 01:19:48,315
Oh, you better believe it, Jeff.
She was laughing at you.
1617
01:19:48,317 --> 01:19:52,119
She called you a dickless
Momma's boy and then laughed!
1618
01:19:52,121 --> 01:19:56,924
She did not say that!She would never say that!
1619
01:19:56,926 --> 01:20:00,127
He's crying.
1620
01:20:00,129 --> 01:20:01,562
You made him cry.
No, you made him cry.
1621
01:20:01,564 --> 01:20:03,831
Apologize to him.
1622
01:20:04,934 --> 01:20:09,136
Hey, Jeff. I'm sorry, man.
We're sorry.
1623
01:20:09,138 --> 01:20:10,938
You can't talk to mything like that.
1624
01:20:10,940 --> 01:20:13,140
Why you 'otta have yourmouths sewn shut.
1625
01:20:13,142 --> 01:20:15,576
And you're well on your wayto becoming bastards!
1626
01:20:15,578 --> 01:20:17,945
No, no, no. Wait, wait, wait.
Don't touch our dads!
1627
01:20:17,947 --> 01:20:20,347
Just give us our next target.
Just tell us who to fuck.
1628
01:20:20,349 --> 01:20:23,951
Just don't touch our dads you
old, nasty shit head!
1629
01:20:23,953 --> 01:20:25,953
That's no way to speakto your elders.
1630
01:20:25,955 --> 01:20:27,354
Your next target...
1631
01:20:27,356 --> 01:20:28,956
a dog.
1632
01:20:28,958 --> 01:20:31,959
A slobbery, flea ridden,
testicle lapping dog.
1633
01:20:31,961 --> 01:20:34,361
That's what you deserve,
so that's what you get!
1634
01:20:34,363 --> 01:20:36,430
Rin tin tin!
1635
01:20:39,168 --> 01:20:40,868
[shatter]
1636
01:20:42,371 --> 01:20:43,971
What'd you do that for?
1637
01:20:43,973 --> 01:20:45,973
We're gonna go kill 'em.
1638
01:20:45,975 --> 01:20:46,607
Really?
1639
01:20:46,609 --> 01:20:47,975
I'm not fucking the dog.
1640
01:20:47,977 --> 01:20:50,978
Okay. Let's do it.
1641
01:20:50,980 --> 01:20:52,847
[MUSIC]
1642
01:21:37,226 --> 01:21:38,659
What are you doing?
1643
01:21:38,661 --> 01:21:40,227
I'm looking for something
to kill them with.
1644
01:21:40,229 --> 01:21:42,229
Mmm. What do you got?
1645
01:21:42,231 --> 01:21:44,665
I got some fuckin'
old New Yorkers,
1646
01:21:44,667 --> 01:21:47,234
I got some tennis balls,
I got this sweater,
1647
01:21:47,236 --> 01:21:49,236
we could smother them
with the sweater.
1648
01:21:49,238 --> 01:21:52,306
Might be hard to corral.
1649
01:21:53,042 --> 01:21:56,043
How about we just
beat them to death?
1650
01:21:56,045 --> 01:21:57,511
Alright.
1651
01:21:58,247 --> 01:21:59,446
Jeff too? Or just the mom?
1652
01:21:59,448 --> 01:22:03,050
'Cause I'm not sure
he needs to go.
1653
01:22:03,052 --> 01:22:05,252
We'll play it by ear.
1654
01:22:05,254 --> 01:22:11,058
Good idea, I don't know why we
didn't think of this sooner.
1655
01:22:11,060 --> 01:22:14,461
You know, when I was a kid my
dad to me for ice cream once.
1656
01:22:14,463 --> 01:22:17,264
And on the ride home, he put
his hand on my knee.
1657
01:22:17,266 --> 01:22:21,268
And he started moving it up
higher, and higher, and higher.
1658
01:22:21,270 --> 01:22:24,705
He was laughing the whole time
but um...
1659
01:22:24,707 --> 01:22:28,475
I don't know. I think he was
just testing my limits.
1660
01:22:28,477 --> 01:22:32,713
But I didn't care. It just felt
nice to be...
1661
01:22:32,715 --> 01:22:36,283
to be touched by him.
1662
01:22:36,285 --> 01:22:39,186
Yeah.
1663
01:22:39,187 --> 01:22:42,088
He loves you.
Your dad loves you, Ted.
1664
01:22:42,091 --> 01:22:45,492
Yeah.
Your dad loves you.
1665
01:22:45,494 --> 01:22:48,095
And that's something worth
fighting for.
1666
01:22:48,097 --> 01:22:53,300
Yeah it is.
You know...
1667
01:22:53,302 --> 01:22:57,104
I can't help think that maybe
all this wouldn't of happened
1668
01:22:57,106 --> 01:22:59,506
if we'd been dads by now.
1669
01:22:59,508 --> 01:23:03,310
You know. If we had
kids of our own.
1670
01:23:03,312 --> 01:23:08,749
Well, I guess we forgot.
1671
01:23:08,751 --> 01:23:11,018
[MUSIC]
1672
01:23:36,145 --> 01:23:40,781
What are you boys doing here?
1673
01:23:40,783 --> 01:23:46,153
Have you gotten to ten? Don't
tell me you've finished already.
1674
01:23:46,155 --> 01:23:47,354
Not even close.
1675
01:23:47,356 --> 01:23:48,789
Then what is it?
1676
01:23:48,791 --> 01:23:52,159
Mother, we're going to kill you.
1677
01:23:52,161 --> 01:23:54,361
You'll never find your
dads in time.
1678
01:23:54,363 --> 01:23:56,363
Yes we will. Jeff will tell us.
1679
01:23:56,365 --> 01:24:02,569
Probably. He's weak. But you
won't have a chance to hear him.
1680
01:24:02,571 --> 01:24:04,171
Really? Why is that?
1681
01:24:04,173 --> 01:24:07,174
Because you'll have blood
in your ears!
1682
01:24:07,176 --> 01:24:08,809
Ahh!
1683
01:24:08,811 --> 01:24:10,277
STOP!
1684
01:24:13,182 --> 01:24:16,383
Jeff? Get back in your chair.
1685
01:24:16,385 --> 01:24:19,186
No Mother!
1686
01:24:19,188 --> 01:24:22,589
Leave my friends alone.
They've been through enough.
1687
01:24:22,591 --> 01:24:27,194
But honey, an eye for an eye.
1688
01:24:27,196 --> 01:24:29,396
They must be punished.
1689
01:24:29,398 --> 01:24:31,198
To what end, mother?
1690
01:24:31,200 --> 01:24:33,400
We've spent our whole lives
trying to punish them,
1691
01:24:33,402 --> 01:24:35,202
but we've just
punished ourselves.
1692
01:24:35,204 --> 01:24:38,405
Dad did not leave
because I was castrated!
1693
01:24:38,407 --> 01:24:44,211
We drove him away because of our
ruinous obsession with revenge.
1694
01:24:44,213 --> 01:24:48,415
We did that.
And now it's over, Joyce.
1695
01:24:48,417 --> 01:24:51,118
It's all over.
1696
01:24:52,221 --> 01:24:56,090
C'mon, guys. Let's go hang
out in my room.
1697
01:24:58,427 --> 01:25:00,494
[crying]
1698
01:25:03,232 --> 01:25:07,634
Come. It's okay.
1699
01:25:07,636 --> 01:25:10,871
This is my play room.
1700
01:25:10,873 --> 01:25:12,873
It's nice.
1701
01:25:12,875 --> 01:25:14,341
Thank you.
1702
01:25:16,245 --> 01:25:18,445
Did you guys come here
to kill us?
1703
01:25:18,447 --> 01:25:21,515
No!... Yes.
1704
01:25:24,253 --> 01:25:27,121
Doesn't sound so bad.
1705
01:25:28,257 --> 01:25:30,257
Hey, don't say that, Jeff.
1706
01:25:30,258 --> 01:25:32,258
Did Jennifer really say
those things about me?
1707
01:25:32,261 --> 01:25:36,263
No. We were just upset that you
were rubbing our faces in it.
1708
01:25:36,265 --> 01:25:41,468
She would never say anything
like that. She's an angel.
1709
01:25:41,470 --> 01:25:43,270
I know.
1710
01:25:43,272 --> 01:25:46,907
Look, Jeff. Dick, no dick,
it doesn't matter.
1711
01:25:46,909 --> 01:25:48,475
She doesn't want us.
She doesn't want any of us.
1712
01:25:48,477 --> 01:25:51,278
She never did. She never will.
Okay?
1713
01:25:51,280 --> 01:25:53,680
Well, I'll never know.
1714
01:25:53,682 --> 01:25:57,284
That's a good thing.
Be glad. Alright?
1715
01:25:57,286 --> 01:25:59,286
If i've learned
anything tonight,
1716
01:25:59,288 --> 01:26:01,688
it's that it's
terrible out there.
1717
01:26:01,690 --> 01:26:04,491
There's a better life for me.
1718
01:26:04,493 --> 01:26:07,928
Now I know what's really
important. Thank you.
1719
01:26:07,930 --> 01:26:10,114
Me too. Thank you.
1720
01:26:10,115 --> 01:26:12,299
Well I'm glad you guys could
experience this big change
1721
01:26:12,301 --> 01:26:16,503
but where does that leave me?
Two old farts in a moving van?
1722
01:26:16,505 --> 01:26:19,506
You guys didn't get one girl
tonight. Not one.
1723
01:26:19,508 --> 01:26:22,309
It's not our fault.
You saw what happened.
1724
01:26:22,311 --> 01:26:28,515
That I did. But this was
never about ten women.
1725
01:26:28,517 --> 01:26:31,518
This was about me.
1726
01:26:31,520 --> 01:26:37,324
And I want you to do the last
one on the list. Number ten.
1727
01:26:37,326 --> 01:26:42,529
You do that, we're square.
Truce. You understand?
1728
01:26:42,531 --> 01:26:44,531
No. I don't understand.
1729
01:26:44,533 --> 01:26:46,633
I do.
1730
01:26:46,634 --> 01:26:48,734
What did you guys used to call
me? Ah, I remember.
1731
01:26:48,737 --> 01:26:53,340
Gaylord. That means I'm the
lord of the gays, right?
1732
01:26:53,342 --> 01:26:57,978
I know what he's gonna say.
It's genius, Jeff. Perfect.
1733
01:26:57,980 --> 01:27:00,347
He wants us to fuck each other.
1734
01:27:00,349 --> 01:27:01,548
You and me?
1735
01:27:01,550 --> 01:27:03,550
But we're just friends.
1736
01:27:03,552 --> 01:27:10,357
I know. That's why this
is going to be easy.
1737
01:27:10,359 --> 01:27:13,994
We like each other more than
any girl we've ever dated.
1738
01:27:13,996 --> 01:27:16,363
We get each other. Right!
1739
01:27:16,365 --> 01:27:18,365
We can do this. Alright?
1740
01:27:18,367 --> 01:27:22,569
We do this last one
and it's over.
1741
01:27:22,571 --> 01:27:24,371
Okay. You're right.
1742
01:27:24,373 --> 01:27:28,775
We do this, we're done. We get
our dads. What is it?
1743
01:27:28,777 --> 01:27:31,011
No big fuckin' deal.
1744
01:27:31,013 --> 01:27:33,380
Just gotta do it.
Alright?
1745
01:27:33,382 --> 01:27:35,449
Alright.
1746
01:27:41,590 --> 01:27:43,290
Hey assholes.
1747
01:27:47,029 --> 01:27:50,297
You're not fucking each other.
1748
01:27:51,800 --> 01:27:54,034
You're fucking me.
1749
01:27:54,036 --> 01:27:56,303
[MUSIC]
1750
01:27:56,805 --> 01:27:58,305
Do it.
1751
01:27:59,408 --> 01:28:00,674
Do it.
1752
01:28:06,415 --> 01:28:07,614
You want me to just stick it in?
1753
01:28:07,616 --> 01:28:09,416
Well, that's how
it's done, right?
1754
01:28:09,418 --> 01:28:14,488
Now, stop talking and fuck
what you've created!
1755
01:28:24,633 --> 01:28:25,699
Shh.
1756
01:28:29,438 --> 01:28:31,438
Ah! Oh my God!
1757
01:28:31,440 --> 01:28:32,439
What?
1758
01:28:32,440 --> 01:28:33,439
Holy shit!
1759
01:28:33,442 --> 01:28:34,441
What? Are you...
What?!
1760
01:28:34,443 --> 01:28:36,443
It's amazing.
1761
01:28:36,445 --> 01:28:38,645
Oh God!
1762
01:28:38,647 --> 01:28:42,716
Oh. Ah! AH!
1763
01:28:46,455 --> 01:28:50,090
I'll go again in a few minutes.
I promise.
1764
01:28:50,092 --> 01:28:52,359
That's it?
1765
01:28:53,095 --> 01:28:56,096
C'mon, Ted. C'mon, you could
do better than that.
1766
01:28:56,098 --> 01:28:57,097
C'mon, Ted. Fuck me.
1767
01:28:57,099 --> 01:28:58,465
Yeah. You want me to fuck you?
1768
01:28:58,467 --> 01:29:02,469
I'll fuck you 'til
the end of time!
1769
01:29:02,471 --> 01:29:05,472
OH! Ah! AH!
1770
01:29:05,474 --> 01:29:07,341
AHH!
1771
01:29:12,881 --> 01:29:14,681
Oh my God.
1772
01:29:14,683 --> 01:29:17,484
Jeff, you don't know
what you have.
1773
01:29:17,486 --> 01:29:18,485
You don't know.
1774
01:29:18,487 --> 01:29:20,120
That was pathetic.
1775
01:29:20,122 --> 01:29:23,490
Keys and the address to your
dads is by the fire. Now,
1776
01:29:23,492 --> 01:29:24,691
get off my property.
1777
01:29:24,693 --> 01:29:25,892
[Slap] Don't touch me!
1778
01:29:25,894 --> 01:29:29,496
Both of you, get out.
Get the fuck out.
1779
01:29:29,498 --> 01:29:31,365
[MUSIC]
1780
01:30:05,534 --> 01:30:07,401
[laughter]
1781
01:30:09,171 --> 01:30:11,738
You did it!
You really did it!
1782
01:30:11,740 --> 01:30:13,540
Didn't I tell ya they did it?
1783
01:30:13,542 --> 01:30:14,541
Ted, did you get all ten?
1784
01:30:14,542 --> 01:30:15,541
Uh, pretty much. There
were some that...
1785
01:30:15,544 --> 01:30:17,177
We got 'em all.
1786
01:30:17,179 --> 01:30:18,545
[laughter]
1787
01:30:18,547 --> 01:30:20,781
Fantastic!
1788
01:30:20,782 --> 01:30:23,016
Way to go!
Ted.
1789
01:30:25,754 --> 01:30:26,953
[MUSIC]
1790
01:30:26,955 --> 01:30:28,955
What is this music?
1791
01:30:28,957 --> 01:30:30,757
Oh, it's my friend, Rachel.
1792
01:30:30,759 --> 01:30:32,559
Oh boy.
1793
01:30:32,561 --> 01:30:35,562
Yeah. It's the only CD we had
so... I mean...
1794
01:30:35,564 --> 01:30:38,565
It's outstanding. What a superb
voice...
1795
01:30:38,567 --> 01:30:39,966
Rachel, you said?
1796
01:30:39,968 --> 01:30:42,202
Yeah. She's a friend.
1797
01:30:42,204 --> 01:30:44,204
That's dynamite.
1798
01:30:44,206 --> 01:30:48,575
Yeah. Yeah, it really is.
1799
01:30:48,577 --> 01:30:50,444
[MUSIC CONTINUES]
1800
01:30:50,779 --> 01:30:57,584
"And I keep giving love away.
1801
01:30:57,586 --> 01:31:02,222
So something has gotta be wrong.
1802
01:31:02,224 --> 01:31:05,992
'cause nothing isright anymore.
1803
01:31:05,994 --> 01:31:12,065
I wanna be a woman but I'mjust a child, I suppose.
1804
01:31:15,804 --> 01:31:23,610
You help me the whole nightthrough.
1805
01:31:23,612 --> 01:31:29,816
You kiss me goodbye and Ibelieved you.
1806
01:31:29,818 --> 01:31:36,623
I fell for you too soon. Butthat's just what I do... "
1807
01:31:36,625 --> 01:31:38,492
Sorry I fucked up.
1808
01:31:48,837 --> 01:31:51,838
So how you doin'? Haven't
heard from you in a while.
1809
01:31:51,840 --> 01:31:58,044
It's a little odd.
Right? I think it is.
1810
01:31:58,046 --> 01:32:00,647
How's uh...
1811
01:32:00,649 --> 01:32:07,053
Caci. She's great. I really
like her a lot.
1812
01:32:07,055 --> 01:32:09,289
You tell her about the run?
1813
01:32:09,291 --> 01:32:12,058
I told her a little bit. Yeah.
1814
01:32:12,060 --> 01:32:14,661
How's Rachel?
1815
01:32:14,663 --> 01:32:20,300
Same. Good. She wants to go on
a double date. So heads up.
1816
01:32:20,302 --> 01:32:24,671
That'd be fun. Does she
have any new songs?
1817
01:32:24,673 --> 01:32:26,673
Yeah, she does.
They're really good.
1818
01:32:26,675 --> 01:32:28,308
I brought you some.
They're in the car.
1819
01:32:28,310 --> 01:32:29,776
Cool.
1820
01:32:30,679 --> 01:32:32,078
Have you heard from Jeff?
1821
01:32:32,080 --> 01:32:34,681
No. Why? Have you?
1822
01:32:34,683 --> 01:32:37,083
No.
1823
01:32:37,085 --> 01:32:40,320
Just wondering how he was
doing a little bit.
1824
01:32:40,322 --> 01:32:42,322
I keep thinking he's going to
beep in on the walkie talkie
1825
01:32:42,324 --> 01:32:43,690
and give us some assignment.
1826
01:32:43,692 --> 01:32:45,692
Yeah right.
1827
01:32:45,694 --> 01:32:48,094
Maybe we should check on him.
I don't know.
1828
01:32:48,096 --> 01:32:49,507
No.
1829
01:32:49,508 --> 01:32:50,919
That'd be weird.
1830
01:32:50,920 --> 01:32:52,331
It'd be weird just showing
up at his house.
1831
01:32:52,334 --> 01:32:53,800
Stupid...
1832
01:33:06,114 --> 01:33:06,614
[MUSIC]133207
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