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1
00:01:07,385 --> 00:01:09,138
I'm just fucking with you.
2
00:02:11,262 --> 00:02:12,388
Hey.
3
00:02:12,389 --> 00:02:13,767
Larry, you coming or what?
4
00:02:13,768 --> 00:02:15,604
I already made the reservation.
5
00:02:15,605 --> 00:02:18,150
Well, I reserve the
right to tell you to cancel it.
6
00:02:18,151 --> 00:02:19,528
Stop.
7
00:02:19,529 --> 00:02:20,906
Mom and Dad
are here at the hotel.
8
00:02:20,907 --> 00:02:22,283
Everyone knows
how hard this is for you,
9
00:02:22,284 --> 00:02:23,662
but we just want to see you.
10
00:02:23,663 --> 00:02:25,414
Look, you're the only one
that I want to see.
11
00:02:25,415 --> 00:02:27,920
Holy fucking shit.
12
00:02:27,921 --> 00:02:30,551
Get on Cindy's Twitter feed now.
13
00:02:30,552 --> 00:02:31,679
My God.
14
00:02:33,056 --> 00:02:36,019
Some genius just
totally flamed her.
15
00:02:36,020 --> 00:02:38,692
Who the hell is
ProgrammingFlaw, anyway?
16
00:02:38,693 --> 00:02:40,069
What?
17
00:02:40,070 --> 00:02:41,823
Someone needs
to give that guy a medal.
18
00:02:41,824 --> 00:02:44,077
Wow.
19
00:02:44,078 --> 00:02:46,583
Okay, so, you're coming, right?
20
00:02:46,584 --> 00:02:48,419
I just I just don't want to.
21
00:02:48,420 --> 00:02:50,047
Well, then
I'll come to you then.
22
00:02:50,048 --> 00:02:51,425
You're staying in some
23
00:02:51,426 --> 00:02:53,763
flamboyantly vile place, right?
24
00:02:53,764 --> 00:02:55,016
Tell me. Come on, tell me.
25
00:02:55,017 --> 00:02:55,935
Fine.
26
00:02:55,936 --> 00:02:58,565
I'm staying at the...
27
00:02:58,566 --> 00:03:00,694
Pink Motel and Lounge.
28
00:03:00,695 --> 00:03:04,159
Ooh, sounds so very.
29
00:03:04,160 --> 00:03:06,079
I'll leave here in a minute.
30
00:03:06,080 --> 00:03:07,709
Ciao, LarBear.
31
00:04:03,904 --> 00:04:05,365
Hello?
32
00:04:18,391 --> 00:04:20,312
Hello?
33
00:04:37,429 --> 00:04:40,352
Man, I had you going there.
34
00:04:46,364 --> 00:04:47,741
Yeah, man.
35
00:04:47,742 --> 00:04:49,370
You got me good, that was good.
36
00:05:00,225 --> 00:05:01,979
You got a problem?
37
00:05:05,485 --> 00:05:07,489
What? No.
38
00:05:13,501 --> 00:05:15,590
39
00:05:17,259 --> 00:05:19,138
Yeah, you do.
40
00:05:28,741 --> 00:05:31,536
I can't believe you.
I'm just fucking with you!
41
00:05:31,537 --> 00:05:33,540
April Fools, big boy!
42
00:05:33,541 --> 00:05:35,755
That was a good one.
43
00:05:42,727 --> 00:05:44,898
Let's try that again.
44
00:05:46,652 --> 00:05:48,905
How can I help you?
45
00:05:48,906 --> 00:05:50,909
I'm just looking to check in.
46
00:05:50,910 --> 00:05:53,038
Are you the owner? Nope.
47
00:05:53,039 --> 00:05:55,042
I'm Chester.
48
00:05:55,043 --> 00:05:56,294
Larry.
49
00:05:56,295 --> 00:05:58,173
Hey, I'm Gerald.
50
00:05:58,174 --> 00:06:01,054
You can call me Gerry,
Larry, pleasure's all mine.
51
00:06:01,055 --> 00:06:02,684
Yeah, um...
52
00:06:10,950 --> 00:06:13,705
So can I just
check in with you, or?
53
00:06:13,706 --> 00:06:15,667
Yeah, I'm pulling
double duty tonight.
54
00:06:15,668 --> 00:06:16,669
It's offseason,
55
00:06:16,670 --> 00:06:18,380
so the owners are cutting costs.
56
00:06:18,381 --> 00:06:20,259
Can't stay mad at them.
57
00:06:20,260 --> 00:06:24,058
They're real sweet oldtimers.
58
00:06:24,059 --> 00:06:25,812
I hear you.
59
00:06:25,813 --> 00:06:28,693
Well, I've had
kind of a long drive, so
60
00:06:28,694 --> 00:06:31,531
just love to get to bed.
61
00:06:31,532 --> 00:06:33,285
Yeah, of course.
62
00:06:33,286 --> 00:06:34,705
Room's 75 bucks.
63
00:06:34,706 --> 00:06:36,458
No tax if you've got it in cash.
64
00:06:36,459 --> 00:06:38,086
Great, great, yeah.
65
00:06:38,087 --> 00:06:39,548
It's an insult
66
00:06:39,549 --> 00:06:41,427
to leave a beverage
a man's given you.
67
00:06:44,475 --> 00:06:47,480
- Gerald... sorry.
- Here you go.
68
00:06:47,481 --> 00:06:49,610
It's common courtesies.
69
00:06:49,611 --> 00:06:54,452
I mean, I can have... sure.
70
00:06:54,453 --> 00:06:56,456
Attaboy, attaboy.
71
00:06:56,457 --> 00:06:58,251
Thanks.
72
00:06:58,252 --> 00:07:00,590
Okay, what are we drinking to?
73
00:07:00,591 --> 00:07:02,844
To the beautiful
sound of laughter.
74
00:07:02,845 --> 00:07:04,598
Okay. Amen, to the beautiful
75
00:07:04,599 --> 00:07:07,062
sound of laughter,
God bless you!
76
00:07:09,609 --> 00:07:10,860
Woo!
77
00:07:10,861 --> 00:07:12,364
Now.
78
00:07:13,700 --> 00:07:15,995
Chester, it has been great
getting to know you.
79
00:07:15,996 --> 00:07:18,250
Larry, nice.
80
00:07:18,251 --> 00:07:20,337
I know.
81
00:07:20,338 --> 00:07:23,093
I'll wipe that up.
82
00:07:23,094 --> 00:07:25,048
Nice guy?
83
00:07:25,049 --> 00:07:26,435
Aw, he's a teddy bear.
84
00:07:26,436 --> 00:07:27,638
Great sense of humor.
85
00:07:27,639 --> 00:07:29,148
Really?
86
00:07:31,778 --> 00:07:34,783
So what are you in for?
87
00:07:34,784 --> 00:07:39,500
Just this family
wedding thing, it's...
88
00:07:39,501 --> 00:07:41,714
Those are the worst.
89
00:07:41,715 --> 00:07:43,594
Maybe you'll get
your bone buried.
90
00:07:45,513 --> 00:07:48,393
Yeah.
91
00:07:48,394 --> 00:07:49,771
What's going on with you, man?
92
00:07:49,772 --> 00:07:51,399
Sit down, come on.
93
00:07:51,400 --> 00:07:53,988
Vent to Chester, sit down.
94
00:07:53,989 --> 00:07:58,288
Um... no, it's, it's...
95
00:07:58,289 --> 00:08:00,877
I don't know,
it should be fine, actually.
96
00:08:00,878 --> 00:08:03,006
Wah, wah! Wrong answer.
97
00:08:03,007 --> 00:08:04,509
No, I mean, it's just...
98
00:08:04,510 --> 00:08:06,304
there's a lot of people
I haven't seen in a while,
99
00:08:06,305 --> 00:08:08,308
so that's...
100
00:08:08,309 --> 00:08:10,146
There's more to it than that.
101
00:08:14,656 --> 00:08:17,451
Okay, okay, um...
102
00:08:17,452 --> 00:08:19,038
I don't know, I hate dancing,
103
00:08:19,039 --> 00:08:20,457
first of all.
104
00:08:20,458 --> 00:08:22,169
The food's always a letdown.
105
00:08:22,170 --> 00:08:25,509
The food, really? Come on.
106
00:08:25,510 --> 00:08:28,306
All right. I had
to shell out 75 bucks
107
00:08:28,307 --> 00:08:29,893
for cookie sheets
because they were
108
00:08:29,894 --> 00:08:31,647
the last thing on the registry.
109
00:08:31,648 --> 00:08:33,150
Aw, cookie sheets!
110
00:08:34,862 --> 00:08:36,155
Like Miss Piggy's
ever gonna bake
111
00:08:36,156 --> 00:08:37,408
her own cookies, right?
112
00:08:37,409 --> 00:08:39,663
That's, I mean...
I'll tell you what, though.
113
00:08:39,664 --> 00:08:41,291
I hope that she likes
those cookie sheets,
114
00:08:41,292 --> 00:08:42,877
because, honestly,
they're gonna last
115
00:08:42,878 --> 00:08:45,801
a lot longer than her marriage.
116
00:08:50,184 --> 00:08:53,941
That sounds like a girl
that you wouldn't marry.
117
00:08:53,942 --> 00:08:57,575
Nah, marriage is
just not my thing.
118
00:08:59,704 --> 00:09:00,581
To lone wolves forever.
119
00:09:00,582 --> 00:09:04,378
Yeah!
120
00:09:04,379 --> 00:09:05,673
Yeah.
121
00:09:05,674 --> 00:09:07,802
So I really am just
really tuckered out,
122
00:09:07,803 --> 00:09:10,390
so could I get the key?
No sweat.
123
00:09:10,391 --> 00:09:11,935
All I need is your credit card
124
00:09:11,936 --> 00:09:14,316
and we'll sign you right in.
125
00:09:16,821 --> 00:09:20,704
I already gave you
the 75 bucks for the room.
126
00:09:22,207 --> 00:09:23,709
I get it.
127
00:09:23,710 --> 00:09:25,713
Titfortat, right?
128
00:09:25,714 --> 00:09:28,094
No, I'm just gonna
need that credit card.
129
00:09:29,429 --> 00:09:32,434
Are you serious?
130
00:09:32,435 --> 00:09:34,105
Afraid so, man, I mean,
I ain't operating
131
00:09:34,106 --> 00:09:36,359
a halfway house here.
132
00:09:36,360 --> 00:09:38,238
No, I'm not saying that,
133
00:09:38,239 --> 00:09:41,092
it's just that
when I first came in,
134
00:09:41,093 --> 00:09:42,454
you remember,
like, a minute ago,
135
00:09:42,455 --> 00:09:44,125
you said if I give you cash,
136
00:09:44,126 --> 00:09:47,716
then you wouldn't charge tax?
137
00:09:47,717 --> 00:09:49,594
And then, I took out the cash
138
00:09:49,595 --> 00:09:50,847
and I handed you the cash.
139
00:09:50,848 --> 00:09:52,726
I mean, that guy,
that biker guy, he
140
00:09:52,727 --> 00:09:54,938
First of all,
his name is Gerald,
141
00:09:54,939 --> 00:09:56,984
and second,
I never check in anyone
142
00:09:56,985 --> 00:09:59,990
without proper paperwork
for this reason.
143
00:09:59,991 --> 00:10:01,994
I understand that,
but this is crazy.
144
00:10:01,995 --> 00:10:03,623
I mean, what are you
trying to pull here?
145
00:10:09,509 --> 00:10:10,636
Look, man.
146
00:10:10,637 --> 00:10:12,514
You came in here,
we had some drinks,
147
00:10:12,515 --> 00:10:14,393
we had some laughs,
148
00:10:14,394 --> 00:10:15,897
and if you want
a room, that's great.
149
00:10:15,898 --> 00:10:18,779
I'll just need a photo ID
and a credit card.
150
00:10:22,620 --> 00:10:24,749
All right, well,
empty your pockets, then.
151
00:10:26,878 --> 00:10:28,881
Excuse me?
152
00:10:28,882 --> 00:10:30,342
You empty your pockets
153
00:10:30,343 --> 00:10:32,263
and you'll see
my money in there.
154
00:10:42,033 --> 00:10:44,913
You put the money
this is ridiculous.
155
00:10:44,914 --> 00:10:46,667
I mean, do I have
to call the cops?
156
00:10:46,668 --> 00:10:48,169
Go ahead, call the cops.
157
00:10:48,170 --> 00:10:50,006
And while you're at it,
I got another idea.
158
00:10:50,007 --> 00:10:52,261
Put out your goddamned hand,
159
00:10:52,262 --> 00:10:55,017
because I got your
room key right here.
160
00:10:59,111 --> 00:11:01,697
Man, you should
have seen yourself.
161
00:11:01,698 --> 00:11:03,408
I'm just fucking with you, man.
162
00:11:03,409 --> 00:11:04,451
Okay. You should have
163
00:11:04,452 --> 00:11:05,955
seen yourself,
"This is ridiculous!
164
00:11:05,956 --> 00:11:07,709
Do I have to call the cops?"
165
00:11:07,710 --> 00:11:09,087
- No, you know...
- Sorry, man.
166
00:11:09,088 --> 00:11:10,673
You want me to call the bellman?
167
00:11:10,674 --> 00:11:12,078
No.
168
00:11:12,079 --> 00:11:14,013
Good, because
we don't have one.
169
00:11:14,014 --> 00:11:15,433
Okay.
170
00:11:29,837 --> 00:11:31,841
171
00:13:46,611 --> 00:13:49,365
Take me, big boy.
172
00:14:07,235 --> 00:14:08,987
Here's
our viewer video of the week,
173
00:14:08,988 --> 00:14:11,368
straight from Marshall.
174
00:14:39,507 --> 00:14:41,260
That's right, Chuck,
it is still chaos out here
175
00:14:41,261 --> 00:14:44,099
on South Citrus
at that multicar pileup
176
00:14:44,100 --> 00:14:46,771
that has caused gridlock
in both directions.
177
00:14:46,772 --> 00:14:48,900
Details are still trickling in,
178
00:14:48,901 --> 00:14:50,904
but witnesses report
seeing the pickup truck
179
00:14:50,905 --> 00:14:54,036
swerving erratically
before veering into
180
00:14:54,037 --> 00:14:57,042
oncoming traffic,
causing this chain reaction
181
00:14:57,043 --> 00:14:59,296
which left one young woman dead
182
00:14:59,297 --> 00:15:02,010
and several people
in critical condition,
183
00:15:02,011 --> 00:15:03,805
including an infant.
184
00:15:03,806 --> 00:15:05,559
The driver, who witnesses say
185
00:15:05,560 --> 00:15:07,020
was visibly intoxicated,
186
00:15:07,021 --> 00:15:08,899
then fled the scene.
187
00:15:08,900 --> 00:15:11,028
Sheriffs found
the suspect's vehicle,
188
00:15:11,029 --> 00:15:12,823
a latemodel white pickup,
189
00:15:12,824 --> 00:15:15,411
a few blocks away from
the scene of the accident,
190
00:15:15,412 --> 00:15:17,041
where it appears as if the sus
191
00:15:26,059 --> 00:15:28,271
Come on, come on, come on.
192
00:15:30,442 --> 00:15:32,195
Hi, you've reached Rachel.
193
00:15:32,196 --> 00:15:33,698
I'm away from
the phone right now,
194
00:15:33,699 --> 00:15:35,954
but I'll call you back
if you leave a message.
195
00:15:39,545 --> 00:15:41,590
Where the fuck are you?
196
00:15:52,863 --> 00:15:55,868
Hello, Pink Motel and Lounge.
197
00:15:55,869 --> 00:15:58,372
Hi, Chester?
198
00:15:58,373 --> 00:16:00,501
The one and only.
199
00:16:00,502 --> 00:16:05,178
Um, hey,
this is Larry in Room 6.
200
00:16:05,179 --> 00:16:07,348
Yeah, Larry,
I know who you are.
201
00:16:07,349 --> 00:16:10,689
Yeah, I was just wondering
if anyone checked in
202
00:16:10,690 --> 00:16:12,610
since I got here.
203
00:16:12,611 --> 00:16:14,237
My sister is supposed
to come meet me,
204
00:16:14,238 --> 00:16:16,116
and, I don't know,
she's pretty late.
205
00:16:16,117 --> 00:16:18,705
I don't know if she came in
206
00:16:18,706 --> 00:16:23,506
or called, or anything.
207
00:16:23,507 --> 00:16:25,636
Well...
208
00:16:25,637 --> 00:16:28,767
no one's come in but let me
check the messages.
209
00:16:28,768 --> 00:16:31,272
Maybe I missed a call.
Great, thanks.
210
00:16:43,380 --> 00:16:45,635
Hey, Larry,
I got some bad news.
211
00:16:48,265 --> 00:16:50,518
Yeah?
212
00:16:50,519 --> 00:16:52,522
It's about your sister.
213
00:16:52,523 --> 00:16:54,151
There was a message.
214
00:16:58,368 --> 00:17:00,873
I hate to be the one
to tell you this, man.
215
00:17:03,921 --> 00:17:06,467
She's not coming, Larry.
216
00:17:11,185 --> 00:17:12,605
She found a big cock to suck on,
217
00:17:12,606 --> 00:17:14,610
then she died
and went to heaven.
218
00:17:16,487 --> 00:17:17,990
What the fuck?
219
00:17:17,991 --> 00:17:20,244
Come on, man,
it doesn't even make sense
220
00:17:20,245 --> 00:17:21,455
that someone would call me
221
00:17:21,456 --> 00:17:23,586
if something happened to her.
222
00:17:25,965 --> 00:17:27,677
Jesus, Chester.
223
00:17:30,474 --> 00:17:32,478
Just call if you need anything.
224
00:17:44,251 --> 00:17:46,089
Unbelievable.
225
00:18:04,668 --> 00:18:09,343
Let old Gerry
help you out, buddy.
226
00:18:16,482 --> 00:18:17,776
Thank you.
227
00:18:17,777 --> 00:18:19,613
Did you just touch me,
peckerwood?
228
00:18:19,614 --> 00:18:21,784
No, no, I didn't, sir.
229
00:18:21,785 --> 00:18:23,997
Yeah, you did, didn't you,
230
00:18:23,998 --> 00:18:25,125
little man?
231
00:18:28,298 --> 00:18:30,301
You know what this says?
232
00:18:30,302 --> 00:18:32,806
No, sir.
233
00:18:32,807 --> 00:18:33,934
Lone wolf!
234
00:18:37,567 --> 00:18:41,156
Do you know what it represents?
235
00:18:41,157 --> 00:18:44,955
No. It represents my armor.
236
00:18:44,956 --> 00:18:49,172
And you don't touch
a road warrior's armor
237
00:18:49,173 --> 00:18:52,136
unless you're ready to fight
238
00:18:52,137 --> 00:18:55,769
or fuck.
239
00:18:55,770 --> 00:18:58,148
You ready to fight?
240
00:18:58,149 --> 00:19:01,404
No.
241
00:19:01,405 --> 00:19:04,410
No.
242
00:19:04,411 --> 00:19:05,956
Well, cool.
243
00:19:05,957 --> 00:19:09,714
Um...
244
00:19:12,679 --> 00:19:16,351
You just narrowly avoided
an ass pounding, dude.
245
00:19:16,352 --> 00:19:18,231
Room 7 if you feel lucky.
246
00:19:49,753 --> 00:19:51,379
I'm just gonna
need that credit card.
247
00:19:51,380 --> 00:19:52,591
"Do I have to call the cops?"
248
00:19:52,592 --> 00:19:53,885
Big cock to suck on.
249
00:19:53,886 --> 00:19:55,263
Lone wolf!
250
00:20:53,212 --> 00:20:55,800
Ha, ha, ha!
251
00:20:55,801 --> 00:20:58,181
Very funny, Chester.
252
00:21:50,493 --> 00:21:52,204
Rachel...
253
00:21:52,205 --> 00:21:54,878
Hey, yeah, I'll be right there.
254
00:22:18,007 --> 00:22:19,384
Hello?
255
00:22:22,015 --> 00:22:25,146
No, I'm okay,
just come back later, please.
256
00:22:28,027 --> 00:22:31,157
No, I'm in the shower,
can you come back?
257
00:22:31,158 --> 00:22:35,374
Larry, you okay in there?
258
00:22:35,375 --> 00:22:36,627
Chester?
259
00:22:36,628 --> 00:22:38,171
Yeah, man, of course it's me.
260
00:22:38,172 --> 00:22:39,800
Not all cleaning people
speak Spanish.
261
00:22:39,801 --> 00:22:42,012
That's kind of
a racist assumption.
262
00:22:42,013 --> 00:22:43,181
Listen, man, I was
hoping to get to you
263
00:22:43,182 --> 00:22:44,935
before you used the bathroom.
264
00:22:44,936 --> 00:22:46,689
It's got a tricky door
that's been giving guests
265
00:22:46,690 --> 00:22:48,567
some problems, I meant
to tell you this before
266
00:22:48,568 --> 00:22:51,030
but we were having
such a good time.
267
00:22:51,031 --> 00:22:53,410
Just stop joking around, man.
268
00:22:53,411 --> 00:22:55,707
What? No, come on,
man, I like to joke around
269
00:22:55,708 --> 00:22:58,546
but I wouldn't mess
with you like this.
270
00:22:58,547 --> 00:23:00,173
Just say that
my sister is, like,
271
00:23:00,174 --> 00:23:03,388
sucking a big dick or whatever
and just let me out, man.
272
00:23:03,389 --> 00:23:05,643
Larry, I swear
I could lose my job
273
00:23:05,644 --> 00:23:07,564
over something like this, man.
274
00:23:07,565 --> 00:23:09,400
Sherrie and Johnny
made it very clear
275
00:23:09,401 --> 00:23:12,072
that I had to tell guests
in Room 6 about this door.
276
00:23:12,073 --> 00:23:13,826
You got to help me out, man.
277
00:23:13,827 --> 00:23:16,707
Just let me out and then
I won't say anything, okay?
278
00:23:16,708 --> 00:23:18,836
All right.
Geez, you're a good man.
279
00:23:18,837 --> 00:23:20,715
Okay, I think
I'm gonna need you
280
00:23:20,716 --> 00:23:22,594
to put a lot of pressure
on the door.
281
00:23:22,595 --> 00:23:24,973
What?
282
00:23:24,974 --> 00:23:26,810
That is the oldest trick
in the book, man,
283
00:23:26,811 --> 00:23:28,313
I'm not gonna fall.
284
00:23:28,314 --> 00:23:29,858
Okay, I understand
why you think that,
285
00:23:29,859 --> 00:23:31,570
but I'm not fucking
with you, Larry.
286
00:23:31,571 --> 00:23:32,947
Are you putting pressure?
287
00:23:32,948 --> 00:23:34,618
Yes, I'm doing it.
288
00:23:34,619 --> 00:23:35,953
Okay, good, now you're
gonna need a lot of leverage,
289
00:23:35,954 --> 00:23:37,122
okay, man?
290
00:23:37,123 --> 00:23:38,084
You've got to really do it,
291
00:23:38,085 --> 00:23:39,251
put all your weight against it.
292
00:23:39,252 --> 00:23:40,963
- I'm doing it!
- All right, just do it
293
00:23:40,964 --> 00:23:42,801
at the same time,
you ready, on three.
294
00:23:42,802 --> 00:23:44,221
One.
295
00:23:49,732 --> 00:23:53,321
Man, we did it, buddy.
296
00:23:53,322 --> 00:23:54,866
What the hell is wrong with you?
297
00:23:54,867 --> 00:23:57,246
Okay, okay,
I see you're not laughing.
298
00:23:57,247 --> 00:23:58,958
But look at it
from my perspective.
299
00:23:58,959 --> 00:24:00,628
I mean, yes, I was
holding the door shut.
300
00:24:00,629 --> 00:24:02,131
Bad on me.
301
00:24:02,132 --> 00:24:04,681
But honestly, I never
thought you'd fall for it.
302
00:24:04,682 --> 00:24:06,765
And once we were
in the middle of it,
303
00:24:06,766 --> 00:24:08,477
how could I stop?
304
00:24:11,985 --> 00:24:14,156
Come on, man,
it was just a joke.
305
00:24:17,663 --> 00:24:18,789
It's me, Chester.
306
00:24:18,790 --> 00:24:20,000
You are pathetic.
307
00:24:20,001 --> 00:24:21,002
Do you know that?
308
00:24:21,003 --> 00:24:22,714
Nobody likes people
like you, you just
309
00:24:22,715 --> 00:24:23,757
you never get the hint.
310
00:24:23,758 --> 00:24:24,968
You just push and you push
311
00:24:24,969 --> 00:24:26,012
and you push and you push.
312
00:24:26,013 --> 00:24:28,141
Well, let me tell you something.
313
00:24:28,142 --> 00:24:30,772
Nobody thinks that you're funny!
314
00:24:33,277 --> 00:24:34,614
Just...
315
00:24:40,416 --> 00:24:41,920
You don't think I'm funny?
316
00:24:50,687 --> 00:24:52,315
Well, what do you
think is funny, then?
317
00:24:55,321 --> 00:24:57,575
Come on, tell me a joke.
318
00:24:57,576 --> 00:24:59,453
Chester, we're both tired,
319
00:24:59,454 --> 00:25:01,040
it's been a long day, so can
320
00:25:01,041 --> 00:25:03,546
Tell me a joke.
321
00:25:03,547 --> 00:25:05,676
Come on.
322
00:25:11,311 --> 00:25:14,944
What do you call a man
with no body and no nose?
323
00:25:20,538 --> 00:25:21,540
What?
324
00:25:23,712 --> 00:25:25,591
Nobody knows.
325
00:25:34,316 --> 00:25:37,864
That's a great one, Larry.
326
00:25:37,865 --> 00:25:40,368
I knew you had it in you, Larry.
327
00:25:40,369 --> 00:25:42,122
That was great, man.
328
00:25:42,123 --> 00:25:43,751
Okay. All right.
329
00:25:43,752 --> 00:25:45,254
Have a good night, man.
330
00:25:48,970 --> 00:25:50,848
Hey, Rachel,
331
00:25:50,849 --> 00:25:52,100
I don't know where you are,
332
00:25:52,101 --> 00:25:53,562
but I've got
to leave this motel,
333
00:25:53,563 --> 00:25:54,856
it's just weird here,
334
00:25:54,857 --> 00:25:58,112
and I don't know why you're
not getting my messages,
335
00:25:58,113 --> 00:26:00,241
but if you just
want to call me back,
336
00:26:00,242 --> 00:26:01,369
maybe I'll just wait in my car
337
00:26:01,370 --> 00:26:04,375
down the road
and see if you come by or...
338
00:26:04,376 --> 00:26:06,212
It's just so stupid.
339
00:26:06,213 --> 00:26:10,345
Just please, please, I hope
you get these messages, and...
340
00:26:10,346 --> 00:26:12,140
I'm kind of concerned
you were in a car crash.
341
00:26:12,141 --> 00:26:13,477
I hope not.
342
00:26:27,380 --> 00:26:29,007
Aww, shit.
343
00:26:29,008 --> 00:26:32,222
I really let things
get out of control earlier.
344
00:26:32,223 --> 00:26:34,017
I don't know what came over me.
345
00:26:34,018 --> 00:26:35,730
You're probably a good sport,
but you know,
346
00:26:35,731 --> 00:26:40,820
you give a moose a cookie
and he asks for milk.
347
00:26:40,821 --> 00:26:44,163
I was asking for milk.
348
00:26:44,164 --> 00:26:45,751
I'm sorry.
349
00:26:49,633 --> 00:26:50,634
Yeah.
350
00:26:50,635 --> 00:26:53,055
Well, I can't stop you
from leaving, but
351
00:26:53,056 --> 00:26:54,266
if you have to,
352
00:26:54,267 --> 00:26:57,190
please accept my apology
and part as my friend.
353
00:27:08,420 --> 00:27:09,799
Okay, then.
354
00:27:11,426 --> 00:27:12,804
If Rachel shows up,
355
00:27:12,805 --> 00:27:14,892
I'll tell her you had to leave.
356
00:27:20,821 --> 00:27:23,534
Enjoy the wedding.
357
00:28:06,202 --> 00:28:09,499
How did he know her name?
358
00:28:09,500 --> 00:28:12,131
How did he know her name?
359
00:28:26,619 --> 00:28:28,162
911, what's your emergency?
360
00:28:28,163 --> 00:28:30,626
Hi.
361
00:28:30,627 --> 00:28:34,007
I'm at the Pink Motel
and Lounge,
362
00:28:34,008 --> 00:28:36,721
and there's the owner
363
00:28:36,722 --> 00:28:39,894
or a guy who's
who's looking after
364
00:28:39,895 --> 00:28:42,985
I need you to send
someone out...
365
00:29:05,029 --> 00:29:06,447
You know, so I'm in my car.
366
00:29:06,448 --> 00:29:08,451
I had to check out because,
I mean, he's been messing
367
00:29:08,452 --> 00:29:10,288
with me all night.
368
00:29:10,289 --> 00:29:14,046
But he had said "Rachel,"
which is my sister,
369
00:29:14,047 --> 00:29:16,551
and there's no way
that he knows what
370
00:29:16,552 --> 00:29:18,304
that's him.
371
00:29:18,305 --> 00:29:21,268
That's that's him.
372
00:29:21,269 --> 00:29:24,441
Sir, can I talk
to you for a minute?
373
00:29:24,442 --> 00:29:27,322
Found out about my
kiddie porn, sheriff?
374
00:29:27,323 --> 00:29:28,532
Aw, just kidding.
375
00:29:28,533 --> 00:29:30,579
They're all legal, barely.
376
00:29:30,580 --> 00:29:32,332
Don't even joke
about that, sir.
377
00:29:32,333 --> 00:29:34,587
How'd you know
her name, Chester?
378
00:29:34,588 --> 00:29:35,923
What are you talking about?
379
00:29:35,924 --> 00:29:36,801
Rachel.
380
00:29:36,802 --> 00:29:37,968
I never told you her name,
381
00:29:37,969 --> 00:29:40,224
so if she hasn't been here,
then how do you know it?
382
00:29:41,602 --> 00:29:44,481
Because you told me
her name, you dope.
383
00:29:44,482 --> 00:29:46,110
I mean, did you seriously
call the cops because
384
00:29:46,111 --> 00:29:49,117
you forgot you told me
your sister's name?
385
00:29:53,333 --> 00:29:55,253
All right.
I'll handle this, sir.
386
00:29:55,254 --> 00:29:56,589
Where's Johnny and Sherrie?
387
00:29:56,590 --> 00:29:57,967
I'm just covering for them.
388
00:29:57,968 --> 00:29:59,847
Step into my office.
389
00:30:03,436 --> 00:30:04,479
All right.
390
00:30:04,480 --> 00:30:06,316
Let's just calm down here.
391
00:30:06,317 --> 00:30:08,822
I want you over there.
392
00:30:08,823 --> 00:30:10,993
You, other room.
393
00:30:10,994 --> 00:30:12,622
You and me gonna talk, sir.
394
00:30:34,540 --> 00:30:36,043
So what can I do?
395
00:30:36,044 --> 00:30:37,045
I mean, I'm just
keeping the place open,
396
00:30:37,046 --> 00:30:38,965
I can't be in charge
of the crazies.
397
00:30:38,966 --> 00:30:41,261
Right, well, listen,
it's a full moon out here
398
00:30:41,262 --> 00:30:44,728
so you're not the only one
with crazy people tonight.
399
00:31:11,281 --> 00:31:12,532
Sir sir!
400
00:31:12,533 --> 00:31:14,452
Please step away from there,
that's private property.
401
00:31:14,453 --> 00:31:16,582
Yeah, man,
that stuff's confidential.
402
00:31:16,583 --> 00:31:18,586
No look. I think.
403
00:31:18,587 --> 00:31:19,880
This. You see?
404
00:31:19,881 --> 00:31:21,049
That's her name right there.
405
00:31:21,050 --> 00:31:22,260
That's her name,
she's checked in.
406
00:31:22,261 --> 00:31:24,306
Where is she, Chester,
what'd you do with her?
407
00:31:24,307 --> 00:31:25,892
Is something wrong, Larry?
408
00:31:25,893 --> 00:31:28,147
You see?
Just relax and just
409
00:31:28,148 --> 00:31:31,194
wait, why you making
a fist here, Larry?
410
00:31:31,195 --> 00:31:34,075
Man! God!
411
00:31:34,076 --> 00:31:35,161
What did you do?
412
00:31:35,162 --> 00:31:36,956
I didn't touch him!
413
00:31:36,957 --> 00:31:38,083
Sir, you all right?
414
00:31:38,084 --> 00:31:39,545
I didn't do anything!
415
00:31:39,546 --> 00:31:41,674
Sir, are you all right?
I didn't see that coming.
416
00:31:41,675 --> 00:31:43,469
Sir, are you okay?
What happened?
417
00:31:43,470 --> 00:31:44,471
Larry. He hit me.
418
00:31:44,472 --> 00:31:46,350
Did you seriously
just punch him?
419
00:31:46,351 --> 00:31:47,937
Where the fuck is
Not again.
420
00:31:49,231 --> 00:31:51,736
Sir, I'm gonna
have to take you in.
421
00:31:51,737 --> 00:31:53,239
Larry?
422
00:31:59,126 --> 00:32:00,378
Rachel?
423
00:32:00,379 --> 00:32:02,048
Larry! What the
424
00:32:02,049 --> 00:32:03,342
Ma'am, stay there.
425
00:32:03,343 --> 00:32:06,282
He's coming with me.
426
00:32:06,283 --> 00:32:09,312
Officer, let him go.
427
00:32:09,313 --> 00:32:10,983
It's my fault.
428
00:32:13,739 --> 00:32:15,951
This man just assaulted you.
429
00:32:15,952 --> 00:32:18,957
I... I pushed him too far,
430
00:32:18,958 --> 00:32:21,754
I've been winding
him up all night.
431
00:32:21,755 --> 00:32:24,384
Quite frankly,
I've been a dick and
432
00:32:24,385 --> 00:32:27,641
I deserve a lot worse
than getting suckerpunched.
433
00:32:27,642 --> 00:32:29,759
So you're not
gonna press charges?
434
00:32:29,760 --> 00:32:32,858
If anyone's guilty
of anything here, it's me,
435
00:32:32,859 --> 00:32:36,869
of bad taste and shenanigans.
436
00:32:38,246 --> 00:32:39,999
You gonna behave, son?
437
00:32:40,000 --> 00:32:41,879
Yes.
438
00:32:45,970 --> 00:32:47,513
Thank God he's okay.
439
00:32:47,514 --> 00:32:49,707
Now, I don't know
what's going on with you two,
440
00:32:49,708 --> 00:32:50,856
but if I got to come
back here tonight,
441
00:32:50,857 --> 00:32:52,356
I'm taking you both in.
442
00:32:52,357 --> 00:32:55,489
Ma'am. Goodnight.
443
00:32:55,490 --> 00:32:57,241
Is he giving you a hard time?
444
00:32:57,242 --> 00:32:59,037
Yeah, he's been playing
these jokes on me all night.
445
00:32:59,038 --> 00:33:01,416
Larry, that was great,
that was great.
446
00:33:01,417 --> 00:33:03,170
What the hell was that about?
447
00:33:03,171 --> 00:33:04,673
Well, Larry was really
worried about you,
448
00:33:04,674 --> 00:33:06,928
and then he freaked out
and called the sheriff,
449
00:33:06,929 --> 00:33:09,265
and then I pulled
this great April Fools prank
450
00:33:09,266 --> 00:33:10,936
and got him to leave.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
451
00:33:10,937 --> 00:33:12,689
You called the sheriff on him?
452
00:33:12,690 --> 00:33:15,027
Yes, I thought that
he did something to you.
453
00:33:15,028 --> 00:33:17,699
What do you mean,
did something to me?
454
00:33:17,700 --> 00:33:20,204
- I'm right here, okay?
- Okay, well,
455
00:33:20,205 --> 00:33:22,918
he knew your name,
I didn't know that he
456
00:33:22,919 --> 00:33:25,047
it's just...
457
00:33:25,048 --> 00:33:28,136
Well, Larry,
it's an online reservation.
458
00:33:28,137 --> 00:33:30,559
You know, I had to put my name
down to book the room.
459
00:33:30,560 --> 00:33:32,873
It prints out by itself.
460
00:33:32,874 --> 00:33:34,224
I guess I should do a better job
461
00:33:34,225 --> 00:33:35,671
of keeping an eye on that?
462
00:33:35,672 --> 00:33:38,700
Humph. Hey, relax.
463
00:33:38,701 --> 00:33:41,706
This is...
464
00:33:41,707 --> 00:33:43,041
Hey, relax.
465
00:33:43,042 --> 00:33:44,962
...
466
00:33:44,963 --> 00:33:46,339
Look at me.
467
00:33:46,340 --> 00:33:48,553
What took you so long?
God, there was
468
00:33:48,554 --> 00:33:50,472
a big accident,
I got stuck on the freeway
469
00:33:50,473 --> 00:33:53,061
and I tried to do a detour.
470
00:33:53,062 --> 00:33:54,857
Got really lost,
and then I tried to text you
471
00:33:54,858 --> 00:33:56,109
and it wouldn't send through.
472
00:33:56,110 --> 00:33:57,571
We're gonna forget
this whole thing
473
00:33:57,572 --> 00:33:59,074
ever happened, you hear me?
474
00:34:00,828 --> 00:34:02,371
And you're gonna get some sleep.
475
00:34:02,372 --> 00:34:05,587
Recharge and enjoy
the room on me,
476
00:34:05,588 --> 00:34:07,340
even though you
suckerpunched me.
477
00:34:07,341 --> 00:34:09,302
I didn't.
478
00:34:09,303 --> 00:34:10,639
You don't have to shake my hand,
479
00:34:10,640 --> 00:34:12,517
we're way beyond
handshakes, buddy.
480
00:34:15,065 --> 00:34:16,901
And you could have
a room for free too,
481
00:34:16,902 --> 00:34:19,405
just for being so beautiful.
482
00:34:19,406 --> 00:34:21,661
Wow, okay, I don't really
know what's happening,
483
00:34:21,662 --> 00:34:23,205
but I like it.
484
00:34:23,206 --> 00:34:25,042
- I'm gonna go to my room.
- Wait, um.
485
00:34:25,043 --> 00:34:27,839
It was really upsetting
meeting you at first,
486
00:34:27,840 --> 00:34:30,970
but you seem lovely now.
487
00:34:30,971 --> 00:34:33,101
A common refrain.
488
00:34:37,819 --> 00:34:39,738
I wonder if
this is actually him.
489
00:34:39,739 --> 00:34:41,617
No, it's sexual harassment
is what it is.
490
00:34:41,618 --> 00:34:42,703
...
491
00:34:42,704 --> 00:34:44,623
Ha ha.
492
00:34:44,624 --> 00:34:46,126
I just don't think
that he's funny.
493
00:34:46,127 --> 00:34:47,461
Well, he could say
the same thing about
494
00:34:47,462 --> 00:34:49,842
you calling the cops
on him, you know?
495
00:34:49,843 --> 00:34:53,725
No, look, I mean,
I kind of apologized.
496
00:34:53,726 --> 00:34:55,729
Okay, maybe he's not
as bad as I thought.
497
00:34:55,730 --> 00:34:57,858
This wedding's really just
498
00:34:57,859 --> 00:35:00,864
messing with my head, you know?
499
00:35:00,865 --> 00:35:03,243
I know. Here.
500
00:35:03,244 --> 00:35:05,123
It's gonna be all right, okay?
501
00:35:09,339 --> 00:35:11,385
And you should give Cindy this.
502
00:35:13,389 --> 00:35:14,641
Take it. Should we invite him
503
00:35:14,642 --> 00:35:16,269
to the wedding? ...
504
00:35:16,270 --> 00:35:17,773
The Three Amigos? .
505
00:35:17,774 --> 00:35:19,400
Go away!
506
00:35:19,401 --> 00:35:20,527
"Hey, Cindy."
507
00:35:20,528 --> 00:35:24,160
This is my giant
cocked friend Chester.
508
00:35:24,161 --> 00:35:26,165
"You cousinfucking bitch."
509
00:35:30,633 --> 00:35:33,012
Go! Go get it!
510
00:35:41,487 --> 00:35:42,656
It's Chester.
511
00:35:42,657 --> 00:35:43,783
Well, open it.
512
00:35:43,784 --> 00:35:45,662
No, shut off the lights!
He'll see, dude!
513
00:35:45,663 --> 00:35:47,666
Maybe he'll get the hint.
514
00:35:47,667 --> 00:35:49,169
We're coming!
515
00:35:56,183 --> 00:35:58,436
Sorry for interrupting,
just dropping off
516
00:35:58,437 --> 00:36:00,766
a couple drinks.
517
00:36:00,767 --> 00:36:04,156
Thought you might need them
after the night you've had.
518
00:36:04,157 --> 00:36:05,535
On the house.
519
00:36:08,709 --> 00:36:10,419
Have a good night.
520
00:36:10,420 --> 00:36:11,922
Say thank you, he's going.
521
00:36:11,923 --> 00:36:14,136
Um, hey, hey, Chester?
522
00:36:16,015 --> 00:36:20,439
Thanks, man, this is
it's really nice.
523
00:36:20,440 --> 00:36:22,569
And... listen,
524
00:36:22,570 --> 00:36:24,197
I'm sorry again about...
525
00:36:26,035 --> 00:36:27,536
Calling the cops?
526
00:36:27,537 --> 00:36:28,957
Punching me in the face?
527
00:36:30,836 --> 00:36:33,214
Don't worry about it.
528
00:36:33,215 --> 00:36:35,845
Okay.
529
00:36:35,846 --> 00:36:38,602
Hey, why don't we
join you for a drink?
530
00:36:39,604 --> 00:36:41,230
Nah, it's late.
531
00:36:41,231 --> 00:36:42,818
Come on, dude, just one drink.
532
00:36:46,701 --> 00:36:48,955
All right, one drink!
533
00:36:48,956 --> 00:36:51,125
Just one, though, not two.
534
00:36:51,126 --> 00:36:52,253
Maybe nine.
535
00:36:53,548 --> 00:36:54,841
I'm just fucking with you.
536
00:36:54,842 --> 00:36:56,094
We could have 12 if you want,
537
00:36:56,095 --> 00:36:57,555
I'm all set up.
538
00:36:57,556 --> 00:36:58,975
All right.
539
00:36:58,976 --> 00:37:00,604
You want to meet there?
540
00:37:02,440 --> 00:37:06,239
Aw, so you had to leave him.
Yeah.
541
00:37:06,240 --> 00:37:08,202
Hercules had to stay
with our mom.
542
00:37:08,203 --> 00:37:10,080
It wasn't very zen out there.
543
00:37:10,081 --> 00:37:14,589
I was basically the least
zen person in Tibet.
544
00:37:14,590 --> 00:37:17,011
I've never been
much for meditation.
545
00:37:17,012 --> 00:37:20,267
I had an ex try
to steal my mind once,
546
00:37:20,268 --> 00:37:22,773
so I had to steal her body.
547
00:37:29,662 --> 00:37:31,039
It was a joke.
548
00:37:31,040 --> 00:37:32,541
Come on, guys, lighten up!
549
00:37:32,542 --> 00:37:34,503
I just watched
her dog last week.
550
00:37:34,504 --> 00:37:36,466
She's a big bitch.
551
00:37:36,467 --> 00:37:38,345
Dog was fat, too.
552
00:37:41,770 --> 00:37:44,106
So are you ever serious, or...
553
00:37:44,107 --> 00:37:45,902
Boy, the doctor's in.
554
00:37:45,903 --> 00:37:47,906
Let me just lay on the couch.
555
00:37:47,907 --> 00:37:51,162
I'll take two hand jobs
and call you in the morning.
556
00:37:51,163 --> 00:37:53,291
The structure of that
joke doesn't even make sense.
557
00:37:53,292 --> 00:37:54,920
Like, if I'm the doctor,
I should be the one
558
00:37:54,921 --> 00:37:56,925
prescribing the hand jobs.
559
00:38:05,316 --> 00:38:07,153
Now we're getting somewhere.
560
00:38:09,951 --> 00:38:11,703
So what's this guy's deal, Rach?
561
00:38:11,704 --> 00:38:15,460
Has he always been,
you know, uptight?
562
00:38:15,461 --> 00:38:18,391
You should have
seen him when he was a kid.
563
00:38:18,392 --> 00:38:21,765
He was the funniest,
happiest little guy.
564
00:38:21,766 --> 00:38:24,037
Couldn't go two minutes
without laughing.
565
00:38:24,038 --> 00:38:26,440
And everyone adored him.
566
00:38:26,441 --> 00:38:28,279
So what happened to him?
567
00:38:30,324 --> 00:38:31,577
Well, that Larry
is still there,
568
00:38:31,578 --> 00:38:32,829
it's just that I'm the only one
569
00:38:32,830 --> 00:38:34,958
that gets to see it sometimes.
570
00:38:34,959 --> 00:38:37,839
Or maybe he's just an asshole.
571
00:38:37,840 --> 00:38:40,428
Maybe.
572
00:38:44,854 --> 00:38:46,481
!
573
00:38:48,360 --> 00:38:50,488
Whoa! He got it.
574
00:38:50,489 --> 00:38:52,201
Okay, you two.
575
00:38:52,202 --> 00:38:55,583
I wish I had that kind of
closeness with somebody.
576
00:38:55,584 --> 00:38:57,630
So what is your story,
Chester?
577
00:39:00,092 --> 00:39:02,095
No story.
578
00:39:02,096 --> 00:39:05,561
I'm just a goodtime guy.
579
00:39:05,562 --> 00:39:08,316
A few drinks, a few laughs.
580
00:39:08,317 --> 00:39:11,740
I'm a maker of cocktails
581
00:39:11,741 --> 00:39:15,623
and a purveyor of jokes.
582
00:39:15,624 --> 00:39:18,630
To be honest,
I'm not fucked up at all.
583
00:39:21,636 --> 00:39:22,972
To new friends.
584
00:39:34,244 --> 00:39:36,623
This is a very special batch.
585
00:39:36,624 --> 00:39:39,546
No, no, no, no, no,
no, I can't do another one.
586
00:39:39,547 --> 00:39:41,508
No, no, no, no!
587
00:39:45,141 --> 00:39:49,148
So what's the real story
with this wedding, man?
588
00:39:49,149 --> 00:39:51,988
... like, how do you mean?
589
00:39:54,534 --> 00:39:57,790
You got a real
heaviness about you.
590
00:39:57,791 --> 00:40:01,422
Your aura is all fumbled.
591
00:40:01,423 --> 00:40:05,263
Feel like you're dying
to let something out.
592
00:40:05,264 --> 00:40:08,562
Level with me.
593
00:40:08,563 --> 00:40:11,819
It's just...
it's just this girl.
594
00:40:15,451 --> 00:40:16,954
What's her name?
595
00:40:20,587 --> 00:40:22,215
Cindy Hughes.
596
00:40:28,268 --> 00:40:31,191
She's the only girl
I ever wanted to marry.
597
00:40:33,320 --> 00:40:38,079
But she dumped me
598
00:40:38,080 --> 00:40:40,209
the day before
I was gonna propose.
599
00:40:43,173 --> 00:40:45,720
And now, she's getting
married tomorrow.
600
00:40:48,100 --> 00:40:49,435
Who's she marrying?
601
00:40:49,436 --> 00:40:53,317
Pfft, you're never
gonna believe this.
602
00:40:53,318 --> 00:40:54,864
My first cousin.
603
00:40:56,826 --> 00:40:57,994
You know, I keep wondering,
604
00:40:57,995 --> 00:40:59,998
like, what's more humiliating
605
00:40:59,999 --> 00:41:05,216
To go and know
that everyone knows
606
00:41:05,217 --> 00:41:07,597
or to not go,
607
00:41:07,598 --> 00:41:10,351
knowing that everyone
there is gonna be
608
00:41:10,352 --> 00:41:12,816
secretly laughing at me?
609
00:41:15,112 --> 00:41:20,121
What you need to do
is have the last laugh.
610
00:41:20,122 --> 00:41:22,376
That's the end game, man.
611
00:41:25,884 --> 00:41:29,642
That's how the loser... wins.
612
00:41:34,150 --> 00:41:36,529
You know,
613
00:41:36,530 --> 00:41:39,160
actually I was thinking
about doing something.
614
00:41:41,666 --> 00:41:45,880
After Cindy dumped me,
615
00:41:45,881 --> 00:41:49,222
I wrote the letter
to end all letters.
616
00:41:51,268 --> 00:41:53,647
Just never had the guts
to give it to her,
617
00:41:53,648 --> 00:41:55,901
but tomorrow,
618
00:41:55,902 --> 00:41:57,905
tomorrow I will.
619
00:41:57,906 --> 00:42:00,286
Right before she says, "I do."
620
00:42:05,630 --> 00:42:07,382
Can I see it?
621
00:42:07,383 --> 00:42:08,384
622
00:42:08,385 --> 00:42:10,806
Come on, Larry, let me see it.
623
00:42:10,807 --> 00:42:14,313
We're having
a moment here, Larry.
624
00:42:14,314 --> 00:42:15,899
Come on, Larry, let me see it.
625
00:42:15,900 --> 00:42:19,574
You're never gonna see me again.
626
00:42:19,575 --> 00:42:22,580
I'll tell you if I think you...
627
00:42:22,581 --> 00:42:24,585
captured the right energy.
628
00:42:27,549 --> 00:42:29,886
I've never let anyone read it.
629
00:42:29,887 --> 00:42:31,557
Not even Rachel.
630
00:42:41,661 --> 00:42:45,793
"Dear Cindy, words are
really not my thing.
631
00:42:45,794 --> 00:42:48,966
Cindy, I love you, I've
never loved anyone..."
632
00:42:54,477 --> 00:42:56,231
I love you, Lar.
633
00:43:02,118 --> 00:43:05,958
That's fucking beautiful, man.
634
00:43:05,959 --> 00:43:07,879
It's gonna crucify her.
635
00:43:10,969 --> 00:43:12,096
What time is it?
636
00:43:13,725 --> 00:43:16,604
I don't know, it's late.
637
00:43:16,605 --> 00:43:20,194
Well, bedtime for Bonzo.
638
00:43:20,195 --> 00:43:23,744
Yeah, I should probably be
getting back to the desk.
639
00:43:23,745 --> 00:43:25,956
Who knows how many
customers I've missed.
640
00:43:25,957 --> 00:43:28,628
All right, good night.
641
00:43:28,629 --> 00:43:29,881
Wait one sec.
642
00:43:29,882 --> 00:43:32,010
I need to get a picture
of you, can you come here?
643
00:43:32,011 --> 00:43:33,638
No, no, no, no, no.
644
00:43:33,639 --> 00:43:35,141
I look like a scrub muffin.
645
00:43:35,142 --> 00:43:37,020
Shut up, you look amazing.
646
00:43:37,021 --> 00:43:39,484
Smile, babies.
647
00:43:41,529 --> 00:43:43,491
Okay, all right.
648
00:43:43,492 --> 00:43:44,410
Good night.
649
00:43:44,411 --> 00:43:46,246
That's a great picture of me.
650
00:43:46,247 --> 00:43:49,294
But... just...
651
00:43:49,295 --> 00:43:51,382
Good night, LarBear.
652
00:44:00,652 --> 00:44:03,156
I love you, Larry.
653
00:44:48,831 --> 00:44:51,587
What... the fuck?!
654
00:44:53,716 --> 00:44:56,346
What the hell, come on, no!
655
00:44:58,726 --> 00:45:00,062
Jesus!
656
00:45:02,066 --> 00:45:04,737
Who would do this to you?
657
00:45:04,738 --> 00:45:06,700
Who would do this to you?
658
00:45:22,106 --> 00:45:23,984
Who is Jesus.
659
00:45:23,985 --> 00:45:26,572
No, Betty! Who is this guy?
660
00:45:26,573 --> 00:45:29,745
He's just this biker guy.
Betty, no!
661
00:45:29,746 --> 00:45:32,375
It looks like Chester
went too far this time.
662
00:45:32,376 --> 00:45:35,415
Who would
who would do this to you?
663
00:45:35,416 --> 00:45:37,135
Not not Betty!
664
00:45:37,136 --> 00:45:38,822
You goddamn son of a bitch!
665
00:45:38,823 --> 00:45:40,892
Is there a problem, Gerald?
666
00:45:40,893 --> 00:45:42,270
I swear to fucking Christ,
667
00:45:42,271 --> 00:45:44,651
I'm gonna tear someone's
fucking head off.
668
00:45:46,613 --> 00:45:49,661
Someone put a crotch
on your crotch rocket.
669
00:45:54,378 --> 00:45:56,215
Did you do this?
670
00:45:58,888 --> 00:46:00,599
You think this is funny?
671
00:46:00,600 --> 00:46:03,020
At least you won't mix
it up with anyone else.
672
00:46:03,021 --> 00:46:04,273
Jesus.
673
00:46:05,400 --> 00:46:07,403
- Not funny, man.
- Guys.
674
00:46:07,404 --> 00:46:08,615
- Fuck you!
- Guys, guys, stop it.
675
00:46:08,616 --> 00:46:09,283
Who would do this?
676
00:46:09,284 --> 00:46:11,036
Can we just talk about this?
677
00:46:11,037 --> 00:46:13,416
You want some of
this, little man?
678
00:46:18,134 --> 00:46:19,805
I'm gonna cut you up, man.
679
00:46:22,309 --> 00:46:24,188
What's he doing?
680
00:46:30,660 --> 00:46:32,162
Chester.
681
00:46:35,962 --> 00:46:38,173
I... was... just...
682
00:46:38,174 --> 00:46:40,763
fucking... with... you!
683
00:46:42,934 --> 00:46:45,188
Man, man, man.
684
00:46:50,448 --> 00:46:52,704
Gerald, are you okay?
685
00:46:56,795 --> 00:46:59,717
Gerald, things got
carried away, man.
686
00:46:59,718 --> 00:47:01,555
Are you okay, man?
687
00:47:02,974 --> 00:47:05,311
Are you okay?
688
00:47:05,312 --> 00:47:06,606
You okay?
689
00:47:06,607 --> 00:47:08,569
You okay, man?
690
00:47:10,197 --> 00:47:13,620
Please, Chester, please.
691
00:47:13,621 --> 00:47:16,000
You need to learn
to take a joke.
692
00:47:20,443 --> 00:47:22,030
Chester.
693
00:47:24,851 --> 00:47:26,687
You okay, Gerald?
694
00:47:26,688 --> 00:47:29,067
Are you okay?
695
00:47:29,068 --> 00:47:33,200
You guys, I don't
think he's all right.
696
00:47:33,201 --> 00:47:35,204
Gerald, Gerald!
697
00:47:35,205 --> 00:47:36,231
What happened?
698
00:47:36,232 --> 00:47:38,503
No.
699
00:47:39,881 --> 00:47:41,635
Fuck, no.
700
00:47:46,018 --> 00:47:47,646
He had a knife.
701
00:47:47,647 --> 00:47:48,898
You saw, right?
702
00:47:48,899 --> 00:47:50,401
He was gonna kill me.
703
00:47:50,402 --> 00:47:51,487
Gerald!
704
00:47:54,786 --> 00:47:56,790
He's dead.
705
00:47:58,501 --> 00:48:00,504
I killed him.
706
00:48:00,505 --> 00:48:04,764
Holy fuck, I fucking
killed someone.
707
00:48:06,517 --> 00:48:08,353
We have to call the police.
708
00:48:08,354 --> 00:48:09,899
No.
709
00:48:12,154 --> 00:48:13,656
Everything's
gonna be all right.
710
00:48:13,657 --> 00:48:14,993
No, it won't.
711
00:48:17,539 --> 00:48:19,043
I'll take care of it.
712
00:48:21,172 --> 00:48:22,257
What are you
713
00:48:22,258 --> 00:48:24,261
what what are you doing?
714
00:48:27,309 --> 00:48:29,021
I'll call.
715
00:48:32,570 --> 00:48:36,076
Once I make this phone call,
it's gonna change my life.
716
00:48:36,077 --> 00:48:39,833
Larry, can I ask you
to do something for me?
717
00:48:39,834 --> 00:48:41,420
Ookay.
718
00:48:42,339 --> 00:48:45,261
Will you go get me some vodka?
719
00:48:47,307 --> 00:48:49,060
Some vodka?
720
00:48:49,061 --> 00:48:51,065
Okay, okay.
721
00:48:52,693 --> 00:48:55,532
One last drink
before the long walk.
722
00:48:58,580 --> 00:49:01,419
All right, okay.
723
00:49:09,476 --> 00:49:11,814
Hello, Sheriff's Department?
724
00:49:11,815 --> 00:49:15,362
There's been a tragedy
at the Pink Motel.
725
00:49:15,363 --> 00:49:17,200
My friend is dead.
726
00:49:19,581 --> 00:49:21,751
It was an accident.
727
00:49:27,680 --> 00:49:29,432
Holy shit, I can't believe
728
00:49:29,433 --> 00:49:31,060
what the hell is
happening right now.
729
00:49:31,061 --> 00:49:32,188
We have to call the cops.
730
00:49:32,189 --> 00:49:33,983
Now.
731
00:49:33,984 --> 00:49:36,362
He said that he was
calling them already.
732
00:49:36,363 --> 00:49:38,826
You think he
really made that call?
733
00:49:38,827 --> 00:49:40,622
I don't know. I don't know.
734
00:49:40,623 --> 00:49:42,124
Give me your phone.
735
00:49:42,125 --> 00:49:44,588
Give me your phone. Right.
736
00:49:44,589 --> 00:49:45,757
God, come on.
737
00:49:45,758 --> 00:49:47,518
Call, call, call, call, call.
I am, I am.
738
00:49:48,387 --> 00:49:49,640
911, what's your emergency?
739
00:49:49,641 --> 00:49:50,892
Hello, hi, yeah,
740
00:49:50,893 --> 00:49:52,979
I'm calling from the
Pink Motel and Lounge.
741
00:49:52,980 --> 00:49:54,900
I wanted to report
OPERATOR Um, yes,
742
00:49:54,901 --> 00:49:56,486
the sheriff's
already on his way.
743
00:49:56,487 --> 00:49:57,781
Are you currently in danger?
744
00:49:57,782 --> 00:50:00,536
No, not this
second, no, but, um,
745
00:50:00,537 --> 00:50:03,416
can you just make sure
that hehe's quick?
746
00:50:03,417 --> 00:50:04,753
Yes, I'll let him know.
747
00:50:04,754 --> 00:50:06,005
Okay, thank you.
748
00:50:06,006 --> 00:50:08,761
I guess you were right,
he, he made the call.
749
00:50:08,762 --> 00:50:09,846
What are you doing?
750
00:50:09,847 --> 00:50:12,351
I'm I'm I'm getting
him that that vodka.
751
00:50:12,352 --> 00:50:13,521
What?
752
00:50:18,281 --> 00:50:20,535
My God, my God, my God!
753
00:50:21,537 --> 00:50:24,001
Looks like
it's Johnny and Sherrie.
754
00:50:31,056 --> 00:50:33,811
Now I know you're
probably thinking
755
00:50:33,812 --> 00:50:36,817
this elderly couple was
horrendously murdered
756
00:50:36,818 --> 00:50:39,281
in the motel that
they owned and operate.
757
00:50:40,909 --> 00:50:43,706
And you're right, they were.
758
00:50:43,707 --> 00:50:45,460
But not by me.
759
00:50:48,299 --> 00:50:52,056
Turns out Johnny here
was a worldclass pervert.
760
00:50:52,057 --> 00:50:53,809
I like to watch 'em fuck.
761
00:50:53,810 --> 00:50:56,900
He had hidden cameras
installed in every room.
762
00:50:58,027 --> 00:50:59,696
Dumb fucks
don't know I'm watching.
763
00:50:59,697 --> 00:51:01,282
And he was getting
away with it for years
764
00:51:01,283 --> 00:51:02,911
until good old
Chester came along
765
00:51:02,912 --> 00:51:07,086
and realized that something was
rotten in the state of Denmark.
766
00:51:07,087 --> 00:51:08,590
I figured it out!
767
00:51:10,552 --> 00:51:11,720
So I confronted him about it!
768
00:51:11,721 --> 00:51:13,473
You're a bad man, John!
769
00:51:13,474 --> 00:51:16,563
And when I did, Sherrie
felt the years of betrayal
770
00:51:16,564 --> 00:51:19,068
of not knowing that her
husband was a pervert
771
00:51:19,069 --> 00:51:20,738
and she took out a knife.
772
00:51:20,739 --> 00:51:22,116
I'm gonna kill you!
773
00:51:22,117 --> 00:51:23,619
And she started
stabbing Johnny.
774
00:51:23,620 --> 00:51:25,455
Not if I kill you first, bitch!
775
00:51:25,456 --> 00:51:27,334
And he started strangling her.
776
00:51:27,335 --> 00:51:29,255
And there they were,
both of them,
777
00:51:29,256 --> 00:51:33,598
intertwined in this...
embrace of death.
778
00:51:36,688 --> 00:51:37,940
Killing each other.
779
00:51:41,823 --> 00:51:43,951
It was the most honest
expression of marriage
780
00:51:43,952 --> 00:51:46,248
I've ever seen in my life.
781
00:51:50,632 --> 00:51:54,389
But you gotta believe I didn't
have anything to do with it.
782
00:51:56,728 --> 00:51:58,147
Do you believe me?
783
00:52:01,528 --> 00:52:03,909
Yeah, I believe you, Chester.
784
00:52:06,288 --> 00:52:08,793
Let's get you that drink?
785
00:52:08,794 --> 00:52:11,883
I knew there was a
reason I liked this girl.
786
00:52:18,229 --> 00:52:19,732
Shots all around.
787
00:52:21,485 --> 00:52:25,284
Well, you're not gonna make
me drink this by myself.
788
00:52:31,673 --> 00:52:33,132
I was right.
789
00:52:33,133 --> 00:52:35,053
What was it that Gerald said?
790
00:52:35,054 --> 00:52:38,059
It's rude to leave
a drink that...
791
00:52:38,060 --> 00:52:39,814
someone poured for you.
792
00:52:41,943 --> 00:52:45,532
By the way, you never
told me your sister's name.
793
00:52:45,533 --> 00:52:48,205
I looked on your Facebook page.
794
00:52:50,711 --> 00:52:52,171
Run!
795
00:52:54,009 --> 00:52:56,053
Fuck, my keys are in the room.
796
00:52:56,054 --> 00:52:57,557
Mine too.
797
00:52:57,558 --> 00:52:59,310
My room, my room.
798
00:52:59,311 --> 00:53:00,813
Over here.
799
00:53:00,814 --> 00:53:03,192
My God.
800
00:53:03,193 --> 00:53:05,030
Fuck, where the fuck are they?
801
00:53:05,031 --> 00:53:06,659
How am I supposed to know?
802
00:53:08,078 --> 00:53:09,789
- Fuck.
- No!
803
00:53:09,790 --> 00:53:11,418
Shit.
804
00:53:12,462 --> 00:53:14,174
My God, my God!
805
00:53:18,349 --> 00:53:19,809
No, no, no, no, no.
806
00:53:19,810 --> 00:53:21,104
What are you doing?
807
00:53:29,872 --> 00:53:32,209
What?
808
00:53:32,210 --> 00:53:34,381
He's still there.
809
00:53:38,097 --> 00:53:39,181
God.
810
00:53:39,182 --> 00:53:41,103
My God, my God, my God.
811
00:53:53,210 --> 00:53:54,337
God.
812
00:54:09,492 --> 00:54:10,995
We have to warn the sheriff.
813
00:54:10,996 --> 00:54:13,167
Fuck that, that
sheriff hates me.
814
00:54:17,467 --> 00:54:18,761
Sheriff, you have to help us!
815
00:54:18,762 --> 00:54:20,138
Don't move.
816
00:54:20,139 --> 00:54:21,725
What? No.
817
00:54:21,726 --> 00:54:24,271
No, no, no, it's just us
from before, remember?
818
00:54:24,272 --> 00:54:26,525
The two of you
on the ground now.
819
00:54:26,526 --> 00:54:28,237
You you don't understand.
820
00:54:28,238 --> 00:54:29,157
He is crazy.
821
00:54:29,158 --> 00:54:31,912
All right, you've got
to the count of three.
822
00:54:31,913 --> 00:54:34,124
One.
823
00:54:34,125 --> 00:54:35,126
Two.
824
00:54:35,127 --> 00:54:36,546
Okay. Three.
825
00:54:36,547 --> 00:54:38,760
Thank you for coming, Sheriff.
826
00:54:40,429 --> 00:54:42,642
My God, sir,
are you all right?
827
00:54:42,643 --> 00:54:43,519
What happened?
828
00:54:43,520 --> 00:54:45,774
She hit me in the
head with a bottle.
829
00:54:49,573 --> 00:54:53,454
Did you hit him in
the head with a bottle?
830
00:54:53,455 --> 00:54:54,958
Yes.
831
00:54:54,959 --> 00:54:57,964
But... he killed those
people in the diner,
832
00:54:57,965 --> 00:55:00,804
and and he killed a
guy, the body's just
833
00:55:03,142 --> 00:55:04,936
God damn it.
834
00:55:04,937 --> 00:55:06,188
God.
835
00:55:06,189 --> 00:55:07,440
I knew it was a bad idea
836
00:55:07,441 --> 00:55:08,777
not to take you in earlier.
837
00:55:08,778 --> 00:55:10,071
Face down.
838
00:55:10,072 --> 00:55:13,327
Right now, on the ground, now!
839
00:55:13,328 --> 00:55:15,456
Officer, it wasn't us.
840
00:55:15,457 --> 00:55:16,835
I'm taking you in for aiding
841
00:55:16,836 --> 00:55:18,172
and abetting an idiot.
842
00:55:22,180 --> 00:55:24,349
Hey, hey, don't do it,
don't do it, don't do it!
843
00:55:24,350 --> 00:55:25,350
Larry!
844
00:55:27,190 --> 00:55:28,191
Larry!
845
00:55:28,192 --> 00:55:29,359
Stop it, stop!
846
00:55:29,360 --> 00:55:30,487
Please stop!
847
00:55:38,378 --> 00:55:40,591
What are you laughing at?
848
00:55:40,592 --> 00:55:43,471
I'm just fuckin' with you.
849
00:55:43,472 --> 00:55:45,433
That was priceless.
850
00:55:45,434 --> 00:55:46,561
What are you talking about?
851
00:55:46,562 --> 00:55:47,855
I mean, it took a lot of work
852
00:55:47,856 --> 00:55:48,816
to set this up.
853
00:55:48,817 --> 00:55:50,485
I told you, he's a psycho!
854
00:55:50,486 --> 00:55:51,363
Hey, shut up.
855
00:55:51,364 --> 00:55:53,367
You're gonna get your
chance, all right?
856
00:56:01,634 --> 00:56:03,261
Sheriff, are you okay?
857
00:56:03,262 --> 00:56:04,889
Are you okay, Sheriff?
858
00:56:04,890 --> 00:56:07,394
Are you okay, are you okay?
859
00:56:07,395 --> 00:56:08,146
Are you okay?
860
00:56:08,147 --> 00:56:10,275
Sheriff, Sheriff, I'll help you.
861
00:56:10,276 --> 00:56:11,737
You're okay, man.
862
00:56:12,906 --> 00:56:15,034
Sheriff, are you okay?
863
00:56:15,035 --> 00:56:16,120
It's okay.
864
00:56:16,121 --> 00:56:18,541
It's okay, it's okay.
865
00:56:18,542 --> 00:56:21,297
It's all right,
it's gonna be okay.
866
00:56:21,298 --> 00:56:24,387
It's gonna be okay,
it's gonna be okay.
867
00:56:27,644 --> 00:56:30,024
Well, I never killed
anyone like that before.
868
00:56:31,401 --> 00:56:33,405
Larry, you gotta see this.
869
00:56:41,171 --> 00:56:42,381
Get up, Larry.
870
00:56:44,260 --> 00:56:46,055
What the fuck are you doing?
871
00:56:46,056 --> 00:56:48,769
- My bad.
- Larry, Larry, get up!
872
00:56:48,770 --> 00:56:50,564
Larry, get up.
Well, Larry, I'm sorry.
873
00:56:50,565 --> 00:56:52,526
This trigger's loose, man.
874
00:56:54,280 --> 00:56:55,825
Leave him alone!
875
00:56:57,453 --> 00:56:59,206
Stop it, stop it!
876
00:56:59,207 --> 00:57:01,335
No, you stop it!
877
00:57:01,336 --> 00:57:02,420
Leave him alone.
878
00:57:02,421 --> 00:57:03,464
Larry, can I help you
879
00:57:03,465 --> 00:57:04,926
to the car, man?
880
00:57:04,927 --> 00:57:07,557
Here, I'll open
the door for you.
881
00:57:09,561 --> 00:57:10,939
Larry.
882
00:57:20,583 --> 00:57:23,463
No! Stop!
883
00:57:36,489 --> 00:57:38,326
Now you.
884
00:57:48,472 --> 00:57:49,975
God, please.
885
00:57:54,317 --> 00:57:56,362
Bang!
886
00:58:05,840 --> 00:58:07,384
Please.
887
00:58:17,029 --> 00:58:18,365
No.
888
00:58:57,067 --> 00:58:58,654
The surgery was a success.
889
00:59:00,282 --> 00:59:02,201
Get the fuck away from me!
890
00:59:02,202 --> 00:59:04,080
Get away!
891
00:59:04,081 --> 00:59:05,709
Rachel, where you going?
892
00:59:05,710 --> 00:59:07,728
I'm just trying to get you
to the wedding on time.
893
00:59:07,729 --> 00:59:09,550
You need your keys.
894
00:59:09,551 --> 00:59:12,557
I'm trying to get you
to the wedding on time.
895
00:59:23,411 --> 00:59:24,454
God.
896
00:59:24,455 --> 00:59:25,791
Larry, are you okay?
897
00:59:25,792 --> 00:59:26,834
God.
898
00:59:26,835 --> 00:59:27,835
My God.
899
00:59:29,423 --> 00:59:31,343
- Go, go, go, go, go.
- My God.
900
00:59:31,344 --> 00:59:33,598
Go, go, go, go, go.
901
00:59:33,599 --> 00:59:35,434
Go, go, go, go, go.
902
00:59:35,435 --> 00:59:37,105
Are you okay?
903
00:59:37,106 --> 00:59:38,483
Hey, hey.
904
00:59:40,988 --> 00:59:42,616
Drive safe.
905
00:59:42,617 --> 00:59:44,995
Fuck you, Chester!
Go, go, go, go, go, go.
906
00:59:44,996 --> 00:59:45,997
God.
907
00:59:45,998 --> 00:59:47,751
He's a fucking serial killer.
908
00:59:47,752 --> 00:59:48,838
My God.
909
00:59:50,675 --> 00:59:52,344
What the fuck is that noise?
910
00:59:56,352 --> 00:59:57,604
What's happening?
911
00:59:57,605 --> 00:59:59,232
Come on!
912
00:59:59,233 --> 01:00:00,484
Come on!
913
01:00:00,485 --> 01:00:02,990
What the fuck.
914
01:00:02,991 --> 01:00:04,702
God, God.
915
01:00:04,703 --> 01:00:06,246
Come on, come on.
916
01:00:06,247 --> 01:00:08,126
No, come on!
917
01:00:12,594 --> 01:00:14,765
Okay, okay.
918
01:00:17,144 --> 01:00:18,145
Larry, get out.
919
01:00:18,146 --> 01:00:19,649
Come on, come on.
920
01:00:20,777 --> 01:00:22,278
I got you. My God.
921
01:00:22,279 --> 01:00:24,532
I can't believe
it fucking worked.
922
01:00:24,533 --> 01:00:25,494
Come on, Larry.
923
01:00:25,495 --> 01:00:28,040
Get up, Larry, get up!
924
01:00:28,041 --> 01:00:29,669
I'm on fire.
925
01:00:31,799 --> 01:00:33,468
God, Larry!
926
01:00:35,973 --> 01:00:37,267
Go.
927
01:00:39,021 --> 01:00:40,232
I'm sorry.
928
01:00:41,484 --> 01:00:43,153
Hey, guys, wait up!
929
01:00:43,154 --> 01:00:45,033
Go, go, go.
930
01:00:46,787 --> 01:00:48,916
I'm sorry.
931
01:00:58,142 --> 01:01:00,020
What the fuck
are you giving him?!
932
01:01:00,021 --> 01:01:01,692
Laughing gas, of course.
933
01:01:06,785 --> 01:01:09,957
No, no, no, no, no,
don't, no, no, no!
934
01:01:09,958 --> 01:01:12,044
Don't you fucking move!
935
01:01:12,045 --> 01:01:13,339
No!
936
01:01:15,678 --> 01:01:17,557
No! No, no.
937
01:01:20,061 --> 01:01:21,773
One, two, three.
938
01:01:23,151 --> 01:01:24,444
Four.
939
01:01:24,445 --> 01:01:25,446
You fucking...
940
01:01:25,447 --> 01:01:27,576
Five. ...monster!
941
01:01:27,577 --> 01:01:28,579
One more is six.
942
01:01:37,054 --> 01:01:38,097
Get off me!
943
01:01:49,244 --> 01:01:51,498
You should know by now, Rachel.
944
01:01:51,499 --> 01:01:54,129
I was just fucking with you.
945
01:02:38,384 --> 01:02:40,096
Am I dead?
946
01:03:16,335 --> 01:03:17,587
My friends,
947
01:03:17,588 --> 01:03:20,553
our guest of honor is awake.
948
01:03:23,432 --> 01:03:25,269
Ladies and gentlemen,
949
01:03:25,270 --> 01:03:29,443
Larry Adams!
950
01:03:29,444 --> 01:03:32,533
Larry, if you fall in,
951
01:03:32,534 --> 01:03:33,953
you're gonna drown.
952
01:03:33,954 --> 01:03:35,665
You can't move your arms yet.
953
01:03:35,666 --> 01:03:37,418
It's too soon.
954
01:03:37,419 --> 01:03:39,673
Just relax, my man.
955
01:03:39,674 --> 01:03:41,176
I won't be able to save you.
956
01:03:41,177 --> 01:03:42,470
I can't swim!
957
01:03:43,932 --> 01:03:44,851
Who are you?
958
01:03:44,852 --> 01:03:46,186
I am Judgment.
959
01:03:46,187 --> 01:03:47,354
I am Wrath.
960
01:03:47,355 --> 01:03:48,608
And you, Larry Adams,
961
01:03:48,609 --> 01:03:50,360
have been judgmented.
962
01:03:50,361 --> 01:03:52,489
- That's not a word.
- How do you know, Larry?
963
01:03:52,490 --> 01:03:53,993
Do you have a thesaurus
on that raft?
964
01:03:53,994 --> 01:03:55,955
I don't feel well.
965
01:03:55,956 --> 01:03:56,999
God help me.
966
01:03:57,000 --> 01:03:59,378
God is helping you, Larry.
967
01:03:59,379 --> 01:04:00,505
He loves you!
968
01:04:00,506 --> 01:04:03,554
This is the way
He wants you to be.
969
01:04:03,555 --> 01:04:06,184
Welcome to my
Hawaiian luau, Larry.
970
01:04:06,185 --> 01:04:09,482
You are my guest of honor.
971
01:04:09,483 --> 01:04:11,362
Here's your golden lei.
972
01:04:14,117 --> 01:04:16,120
God.
973
01:04:16,121 --> 01:04:17,999
Listen, Larry.
974
01:04:18,000 --> 01:04:19,377
I'm not gonna lie to ya,
975
01:04:19,378 --> 01:04:22,383
I gave you a mega
dose of ayahuasca...
976
01:04:22,384 --> 01:04:24,263
and some other things.
977
01:04:26,141 --> 01:04:29,774
You're gonna be feeling
a little woozy.
978
01:04:32,237 --> 01:04:33,864
You okay, man?
979
01:04:33,865 --> 01:04:35,618
Who am I?
980
01:04:35,619 --> 01:04:36,870
That's why we're all
981
01:04:36,871 --> 01:04:38,123
gathered here tonight,
982
01:04:38,124 --> 01:04:40,294
to find out who you really are.
983
01:04:40,295 --> 01:04:42,506
You're in a
very safe space, man.
984
01:04:42,507 --> 01:04:44,218
I'm a trained shaman.
985
01:04:44,219 --> 01:04:45,722
Where's Rachel?
986
01:04:45,723 --> 01:04:47,767
Rachel's fine, man.
987
01:04:47,768 --> 01:04:49,855
She's just changing
into her bathing suit.
988
01:04:49,856 --> 01:04:51,608
Perhaps we can go check on her.
989
01:04:51,609 --> 01:04:54,405
Let's put the ceremony on pause.
990
01:04:54,406 --> 01:04:55,908
Listen, LarBear,
991
01:04:55,909 --> 01:04:58,873
there's one more thing
I need for you to do.
992
01:04:58,874 --> 01:05:02,797
It's very important
for your transition.
993
01:05:02,798 --> 01:05:06,555
Okay, what is it?
994
01:05:06,556 --> 01:05:08,559
You kinda fucked things up
for me tonight,
995
01:05:08,560 --> 01:05:11,147
if I'm being honest.
996
01:05:11,148 --> 01:05:12,901
I had a fun evening planned,
997
01:05:12,902 --> 01:05:15,573
and then you came along.
998
01:05:15,574 --> 01:05:18,954
You're the rarest of things.
999
01:05:18,955 --> 01:05:20,709
What do you mean?
1000
01:05:22,462 --> 01:05:23,839
Understand this
1001
01:05:23,840 --> 01:05:27,429
You're a man completely
devoid of a sense of humor.
1002
01:05:27,430 --> 01:05:31,063
You're a dour curmudgeon
with a scorpion sting.
1003
01:05:36,156 --> 01:05:38,787
You're the April Fool.
1004
01:05:40,582 --> 01:05:43,838
I am.
1005
01:05:43,839 --> 01:05:45,173
I know I am.
1006
01:05:45,174 --> 01:05:47,344
I want you to tell me,
1007
01:05:47,345 --> 01:05:50,225
in all your newfound,
drugaddled glory,
1008
01:05:50,226 --> 01:05:51,812
who you really are.
1009
01:05:51,813 --> 01:05:54,609
Tell me who Larry Adams is.
1010
01:05:54,610 --> 01:05:58,116
Not the bullshit duality
that you hide behind,
1011
01:05:58,117 --> 01:06:00,997
not the mask you
present to the world,
1012
01:06:00,998 --> 01:06:03,501
but the real you.
1013
01:06:03,502 --> 01:06:05,465
The real you.
1014
01:06:07,469 --> 01:06:08,679
Okay.
1015
01:06:08,680 --> 01:06:10,099
Good boy.
1016
01:06:25,213 --> 01:06:26,632
What do you think?
1017
01:06:26,633 --> 01:06:28,510
On the bed?
1018
01:06:28,511 --> 01:06:30,222
I don't know.
1019
01:06:30,223 --> 01:06:32,268
Yeah, on the bed.
1020
01:06:34,523 --> 01:06:37,677
Sorry, I'm not much
of a camera guy.
1021
01:06:37,678 --> 01:06:39,118
Okay.
1022
01:06:40,535 --> 01:06:42,789
Okay, I'm ready, I think.
1023
01:06:42,790 --> 01:06:48,175
So, let the truth
surge through you.
1024
01:06:51,515 --> 01:06:56,024
Tell us both who
you really... are.
1025
01:06:57,026 --> 01:06:59,657
And action.
1026
01:07:01,744 --> 01:07:04,291
I'm a troll.
1027
01:07:06,545 --> 01:07:08,632
I...
1028
01:07:08,633 --> 01:07:11,430
Literally, I'm a troll.
1029
01:07:16,774 --> 01:07:19,028
I mean, on the outside, I'm
1030
01:07:19,029 --> 01:07:23,536
I'm nice, I'm... meek,
1031
01:07:23,537 --> 01:07:26,793
I'm affable,
1032
01:07:26,794 --> 01:07:30,050
but on the inside,
1033
01:07:30,051 --> 01:07:33,683
my heart is full of bitterness.
1034
01:07:37,691 --> 01:07:40,905
I've never fit in.
1035
01:07:40,906 --> 01:07:42,950
I'm on the other
side of the glass,
1036
01:07:42,951 --> 01:07:44,286
always looking in.
1037
01:07:44,287 --> 01:07:48,211
This is fantastic, man.
1038
01:07:48,212 --> 01:07:50,716
Let it out.
1039
01:07:50,717 --> 01:07:52,596
Continue.
1040
01:07:54,600 --> 01:07:57,689
You know, when I was young,
1041
01:07:57,690 --> 01:08:01,238
I just I never had the
ability to talk to other kids.
1042
01:08:03,117 --> 01:08:05,580
I never knew what to say.
1043
01:08:08,377 --> 01:08:12,969
It's like I'm a prisoner
in my own head,
1044
01:08:12,970 --> 01:08:15,851
and it makes me hate people.
1045
01:08:20,151 --> 01:08:21,654
So...
1046
01:08:25,411 --> 01:08:27,916
I created ProgrammingFlaw.
1047
01:08:29,127 --> 01:08:32,759
He could do all the things
that I never could.
1048
01:08:32,760 --> 01:08:35,556
I could be free.
1049
01:08:35,557 --> 01:08:38,562
He can destroy people with
a single push of a button.
1050
01:08:38,563 --> 01:08:40,064
Sounds like a hell of a guy!
1051
01:08:40,065 --> 01:08:42,444
He is.
1052
01:08:42,445 --> 01:08:45,325
He's formidable.
1053
01:08:45,326 --> 01:08:47,663
He's everything that I'm not,
1054
01:08:47,664 --> 01:08:50,460
and he's the only one
who ever had my back,
1055
01:08:50,461 --> 01:08:51,964
Rachel aside.
1056
01:08:54,385 --> 01:08:57,516
Thank God you have her.
1057
01:08:57,517 --> 01:09:01,273
Deep down in my soul,
1058
01:09:01,274 --> 01:09:03,195
I know who I am.
1059
01:09:07,203 --> 01:09:08,706
So who are you?
1060
01:09:12,213 --> 01:09:14,927
I'm ProgrammingFlaw.
1061
01:09:21,983 --> 01:09:23,235
Scene.
1062
01:09:28,621 --> 01:09:30,332
Lay it on me, man.
1063
01:09:41,689 --> 01:09:44,235
We're beyond handshakes.
1064
01:09:48,493 --> 01:09:51,876
You fully embrace
the real powerful you.
1065
01:09:56,844 --> 01:10:00,224
I'm proud of you, Flaw.
1066
01:10:00,225 --> 01:10:02,396
You did it!
1067
01:10:21,518 --> 01:10:23,898
Hey, can I see Rachel now?
1068
01:10:27,530 --> 01:10:29,033
Here's the deal.
1069
01:10:30,536 --> 01:10:32,163
For every action,
1070
01:10:32,164 --> 01:10:34,919
there's an equal
and opposite reaction.
1071
01:10:34,920 --> 01:10:36,923
Newton's third law of motion.
1072
01:10:36,924 --> 01:10:38,760
Rachel would call it karma,
1073
01:10:38,761 --> 01:10:40,054
Larry would call it payback,
1074
01:10:40,055 --> 01:10:42,686
I'll just call it
fucking funny, man.
1075
01:10:51,954 --> 01:10:54,585
Rachel, come on out!
1076
01:10:56,212 --> 01:10:57,841
She's just in there.
1077
01:11:05,314 --> 01:11:08,946
No, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no, no, no!
1078
01:11:10,157 --> 01:11:12,452
No, no, no.
1079
01:11:12,453 --> 01:11:14,456
No!
1080
01:11:14,457 --> 01:11:17,088
No, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no, no.
1081
01:11:20,720 --> 01:11:23,600
No, no, no, no, no!
1082
01:11:23,601 --> 01:11:25,103
Rachel!
1083
01:11:25,104 --> 01:11:27,818
Rachel, Rachel, Rachel.
1084
01:11:29,613 --> 01:11:32,201
No!
1085
01:11:34,748 --> 01:11:37,628
You said she was okay.
1086
01:11:37,629 --> 01:11:40,342
You promised me.
1087
01:11:45,310 --> 01:11:46,855
The transition wouldn't have
1088
01:11:46,856 --> 01:11:49,067
worked otherwise, PFlaw.
1089
01:11:49,068 --> 01:11:52,616
You wouldn't have
learned anything.
1090
01:11:52,617 --> 01:11:54,120
Why?
1091
01:11:57,752 --> 01:11:59,505
Why not?
1092
01:12:09,902 --> 01:12:12,907
You want to know what's
even funnier than this?
1093
01:12:12,908 --> 01:12:15,286
I just posted your
pathetic confession
1094
01:12:15,287 --> 01:12:20,004
and sappy letter to Cindy
on the wedding forum.
1095
01:12:20,005 --> 01:12:22,008
Comment highlights
1096
01:12:22,009 --> 01:12:23,260
"Pathetic note, bitch."
1097
01:12:23,261 --> 01:12:26,016
Of course she'd never marry you.
1098
01:12:26,017 --> 01:12:28,270
Get a life, freak.
1099
01:12:28,271 --> 01:12:30,234
"What's wrong with you?"
1100
01:12:31,904 --> 01:12:33,908
"You're just really pathetic."
1101
01:12:35,662 --> 01:12:37,790
Here's a good one.
1102
01:12:37,791 --> 01:12:39,043
It just says, "Die."
1103
01:12:41,297 --> 01:12:45,054
And here's one
from Cindy herself.
1104
01:12:45,055 --> 01:12:46,933
Ready?
1105
01:12:46,934 --> 01:12:48,185
"You are a monster..."
1106
01:12:48,186 --> 01:12:49,689
a monster.
1107
01:12:49,690 --> 01:12:51,066
I never even liked you.
1108
01:12:51,067 --> 01:12:52,569
"You're pathetic."
1109
01:12:52,570 --> 01:12:54,281
Wow!
1110
01:12:54,282 --> 01:12:56,829
She really hates you, LarBear.
1111
01:13:13,696 --> 01:13:14,906
What?
1112
01:13:22,212 --> 01:13:23,591
Do you know what?
1113
01:13:28,934 --> 01:13:30,938
I was wrong about you.
1114
01:13:33,611 --> 01:13:36,490
My God, you are funny.
1115
01:13:36,491 --> 01:13:37,952
I mean, I...
1116
01:13:38,996 --> 01:13:43,128
I mean, I I see it,
man, I get it all now.
1117
01:13:43,129 --> 01:13:46,469
All of this was genius.
1118
01:13:48,473 --> 01:13:51,228
I mean, you're like Mozart, man.
1119
01:13:51,229 --> 01:13:53,818
You're like the
Mozart of comedy.
1120
01:13:56,239 --> 01:13:59,119
I've been waiting all
night for you to say that.
1121
01:13:59,120 --> 01:14:00,623
You're hilarious.
1122
01:14:01,875 --> 01:14:03,879
I mean, you're a funny fucker.
1123
01:14:06,384 --> 01:14:10,516
I mean, those guys,
Gerald and the Sheriff,
1124
01:14:10,517 --> 01:14:11,978
what is wrong with them?
1125
01:14:11,979 --> 01:14:14,482
They should've been
laughing too, man.
1126
01:14:14,483 --> 01:14:16,153
My God, that dead couple?
1127
01:14:16,154 --> 01:14:18,909
I mean, they just
flatout deserved it.
1128
01:14:22,667 --> 01:14:26,174
Wait, are you
filming this right now?
1129
01:14:27,426 --> 01:14:28,595
We serial killers
1130
01:14:28,596 --> 01:14:30,140
like to keep souvenirs.
1131
01:14:33,021 --> 01:14:35,734
PFlaw, you're a
breath of fresh air
1132
01:14:35,735 --> 01:14:37,529
in a slaughterhouse.
1133
01:14:42,790 --> 01:14:47,381
But all good things
must come to an end.
1134
01:14:47,382 --> 01:14:48,802
Any last requests?
1135
01:14:52,560 --> 01:14:53,687
Well...
1136
01:14:55,065 --> 01:14:56,944
I don't want to die here.
1137
01:14:58,656 --> 01:15:01,160
I mean, I don't want
to live anymore.
1138
01:15:02,705 --> 01:15:05,085
I don't want to die here.
1139
01:15:07,715 --> 01:15:10,805
Let's go to the wedding.
1140
01:15:12,809 --> 01:15:14,186
All three of us.
1141
01:15:17,777 --> 01:15:19,445
I mean, there's there's a hill
1142
01:15:19,446 --> 01:15:22,076
overlooking the festivities.
1143
01:15:22,077 --> 01:15:25,332
I mean, imagine the look
on their dumbass faces
1144
01:15:25,333 --> 01:15:27,044
when we rock up.
1145
01:15:27,045 --> 01:15:28,715
I mean, just me
and Rachel, dead,
1146
01:15:28,716 --> 01:15:31,847
just tumbling down
a hill towards them.
1147
01:15:34,853 --> 01:15:35,855
Now that...
1148
01:15:40,322 --> 01:15:42,367
That would be fucking hilarious.
1149
01:15:43,494 --> 01:15:45,833
Are you just fucking with me?
1150
01:15:49,506 --> 01:15:51,553
You tell me.
1151
01:16:04,453 --> 01:16:05,497
Where you going?
1152
01:16:06,958 --> 01:16:08,587
Let's take Rachel's car.
1153
01:16:10,006 --> 01:16:12,343
I'll drive.
1154
01:16:12,344 --> 01:16:16,518
You want to drive?
Come on, Chester.
1155
01:16:16,519 --> 01:16:19,399
Rachel would never
let you drive her car.
1156
01:16:19,400 --> 01:16:21,528
Rachel! Rachel!
1157
01:16:21,529 --> 01:16:24,409
Would you let Chester
drive your car?
1158
01:16:24,410 --> 01:16:26,414
Rachel says, "No fucking way."
1159
01:16:27,917 --> 01:16:29,252
Come on, Chester.
1160
01:16:29,253 --> 01:16:31,298
Your aura seems
a little jumbled.
1161
01:16:34,471 --> 01:16:38,103
Look, man, I just wanted to say,
1162
01:16:38,104 --> 01:16:40,609
thank you for everything.
1163
01:16:41,611 --> 01:16:42,780
Keys.
1164
01:16:44,617 --> 01:16:45,618
Let's roll.
1165
01:16:45,619 --> 01:16:48,291
I'll fuck anything that moves!
1166
01:16:49,919 --> 01:16:51,296
Or doesn't move.
1167
01:16:51,297 --> 01:16:52,675
Sorry, Rachel.
1168
01:17:08,289 --> 01:17:09,959
Rachel, do you have to pee?
1169
01:17:27,202 --> 01:17:29,330
Chester, can I
tell you a joke?
1170
01:17:29,331 --> 01:17:31,459
Absolutely, man.
1171
01:17:31,460 --> 01:17:33,589
So there's these two idiots,
1172
01:17:33,590 --> 01:17:37,179
and they're driving
down the road.
1173
01:17:37,180 --> 01:17:38,933
And?
1174
01:17:38,934 --> 01:17:42,482
Okay, and they're
called Larry and Chester.
1175
01:17:43,861 --> 01:17:46,364
And Larry's sister is
sittin' in the back,
1176
01:17:46,365 --> 01:17:48,202
woop, not sayin' a word.
1177
01:17:49,121 --> 01:17:50,455
I like it already.
1178
01:17:50,456 --> 01:17:52,879
Rachel, be quiet for
the punchline, okay?
1179
01:17:57,722 --> 01:18:00,977
And then Larry says to Chester,
1180
01:18:00,978 --> 01:18:03,983
"If you could be anything
in the world right now,
1181
01:18:03,984 --> 01:18:05,360
what would you be?"
1182
01:18:05,361 --> 01:18:07,866
And and Chester replies,
1183
01:18:07,867 --> 01:18:10,245
"Well, I don't know,
what would I be?"
1184
01:18:10,246 --> 01:18:12,208
I don't know, what would I be?
1185
01:18:15,131 --> 01:18:17,384
"Well," says Larry,
1186
01:18:17,385 --> 01:18:20,016
"you'd be Rachel's dog."
1187
01:18:22,772 --> 01:18:24,274
Rachel's dog?
1188
01:18:25,986 --> 01:18:27,906
Yeah, that's right.
1189
01:18:27,907 --> 01:18:31,665
Chester would be
Rachel's dog, Hercules.
1190
01:18:39,513 --> 01:18:41,265
Now Chester says,
1191
01:18:41,266 --> 01:18:44,397
"Wwhy would I be Hercules?"
1192
01:18:44,398 --> 01:18:46,902
Wwhy would I be Hercules?
1193
01:18:46,903 --> 01:18:48,488
"Well," says Larry,
1194
01:18:48,489 --> 01:18:50,910
"Rachel just loved
Hercules so much"
1195
01:18:50,911 --> 01:18:53,415
that she had him
ride up front with her
1196
01:18:53,416 --> 01:18:55,293
"in the passenger seat."
1197
01:18:55,294 --> 01:18:58,383
In fact, just right there
in your seat right there.
1198
01:18:58,384 --> 01:19:00,303
You're so thoughtful, Rachel.
1199
01:19:00,304 --> 01:19:02,391
I mean, it wasn't exactly legal,
1200
01:19:02,392 --> 01:19:05,188
but she just loved
that dog so much.
1201
01:19:05,189 --> 01:19:07,443
Yeah? Yeah, yeah.
1202
01:19:07,444 --> 01:19:11,409
Almost as much as she loved me.
1203
01:19:11,410 --> 01:19:14,081
She always wanted
to keep him safe.
1204
01:19:14,082 --> 01:19:19,468
So, she made an
alteration to the car!
1205
01:19:29,321 --> 01:19:31,032
What's the punchline, Larry?
1206
01:19:31,033 --> 01:19:32,827
What's the punchline?
1207
01:19:32,828 --> 01:19:34,206
Chester.
1208
01:19:35,416 --> 01:19:38,548
The punchline is that
because of Hercules
1209
01:19:40,426 --> 01:19:43,808
Rachel disabled the airbags
on one side of the car,
1210
01:19:43,809 --> 01:19:45,729
Chester's side of the car.
1211
01:19:48,359 --> 01:19:51,698
Now I'm gonna drive us
into a fucking wall.
1212
01:19:51,699 --> 01:19:53,326
You wouldn't, Larry.
1213
01:19:53,327 --> 01:19:54,370
You're right.
1214
01:19:54,371 --> 01:19:57,752
Larry wouldn't have the balls.
1215
01:19:57,753 --> 01:19:59,506
But I'm ProgrammingFlaw.
1216
01:20:10,069 --> 01:20:11,195
To the beautiful sound
1217
01:20:11,196 --> 01:20:12,575
of laughter.
1218
01:21:59,245 --> 01:22:01,249
I'm just fucking with you.
80787
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