All language subtitles for CHiPs s02e10 Return of the Turks.eng

Imagine me getting
a commendable incident report.

When Getraer told me,
I almost passed out.

Yeah, well, you must have
really been hot-dogging it

while I was away last month.

Hey, come on, 278 cites
in a month?

I'd be the hottest
pencil of all time.

Did you mention that
to our sergeant?

He said I was just
trying to be modest.

Make you feel like a big man,
giving some poor housewife

a lousy ticket
for fudging over 55?

With all the drunks
and potheads

running us decent
people off the road

you have to give an innocent
housewife a ticket!

Hey, who's that?

Might be Mel Scully.

I don't think so.
He doesn't move like Mel.

What are you doin'?

I thought your tire
was low, but it's okay.

Have a nice day.

Have a hernia.

Well, 73 is, good buddy.

And listen, I've got to sign off
now, my off-ramp's comin' up.

'Attention all beat 7 units.'

'We have a report
of a motor officer down'

'on the Hollywood freeway
vicinity of Lankershim.'

Listen, you know anything about
an officer being involved

in an accident around here?

I'm the one that hit him,
but he's gone.

He wasn't hurt?

He was limpin'.
I told him I radioed for help

but he said
it wasn't necessary.

Didn't ask me
for my license or anything.

Just jumped on his motorcycle
and took off.

How did you figure it?

That guy said the officer

'was limping
so he must have been hurt.'

And why would he
take off like that?

Must have been something
more urgent to pull him away.

Morning. May I see your
driver's license, please?

What did I do?

Nothing, from the looks of it

it seems you're having a little
shock absorber trouble.

Sid

Hey, man,
don't you recognize me?

- The Latino flash!
- Poncherello!

In uniform!
It couldn't be.

Hey, hey, what do you expect
me to wear out here?

Tank top
and blue jeans?

Come here, come here.
Jon Baker!

Suddenly you're
fuzz, man. You can't be!

Baker, Sid Lambert.

- Hi.
- How you doing.

Tell you the truth,
I almost didn't recognize you.

Well, it's been a mess of years
since the Van Nuys days.

This dude was the honcho
in one of the most

'hell-raising crowds that
ever cruised the boulevard.'

The Blue Flames.

They would have made
the wild bunch look like

a Sunday school picnic.

I wish I had a dime
for all the times

I had to chase off
this macho pushy kid.

'He had more guts
than sense.'

Yeah, he's told me so.

Hey, how's Angy, huh?
I heard you two got married.

That was 8 years ago.
We got a boy, 4.

'Yeah, you know,
you really should get those'

shock absorbers replaced.

You're bouncing around
like a ping-pong ball

and it is kind of dangerous.

Would you believe it?
That's where I'm heading now.

To Rudy Altmeyer's place.

Man, you cats
must really be gettin' old

if a mean dude like Rudy
has to settle down

and do an honest day's work.

In his day, Rudy's wrecked
more cars than a junkyard.

Hey, let's get together and
hoist a few beers soon, huh?

Great. I'll give you a call.

Little Ponch a motor jock.
Wait till I tell Rudy.

- I'll see you, man.
- Alright.

Looks like your past
is catchin' up with you.

Ah, Sid's a nice guy.

I'm glad it was a case where I
didn't have to write him a cite.

Well, if he would have
deserved a cite

would you
have given him one?

Of course.

You don't believe me?

Well, friendship,
like love, can be blind.

Well, not out here, man.

You know me
better than that.

Yeah, yeah, sure, sure.

So Ponch is a car chaser.

I remember when
he was the chasee.

He said we'd get together for
a few beers soon.

You know, you don't care
what you drink with.

How come the only time I see you
is when you need some work done?

Hey! I put in
sometimes 14 hours a day.

Now what about the shocks?
Can you put them on now?

Sure, if you want to pay through
the nose for some new ones.

Wait a couple of days,
I can probably get you a set

off some new car that
was totaled for about

a third the cost.

Now wait!

I got some heavy bills breathing
down my neck already.

Take a ride with me,
uh, deliver a radiator.

Then we'll stop off
for a beer

and shoot the bull
a little.

My old lady's been on me for
getting home too late.

Women! They'll blow your
brain if you let them.

Okay, maybe one beer.

Ah!

Hey, does
this thing run?

I pulled the engine
out of my truck.

Don't worry,
it'll get us there.

You had better than
this heap in the old days.

It just gets stuck
every now and then.

See? No sweat.

You ever wish things were
like they used to be?

Huh? Cruising down Van Nuys

all the guys together
every night

the nutty things we did.

We really knew how
to have kicks, huh?

Remember the night
Prendy and Chauss

made off with that
street washer truck?

And drove it smack into
Dundee's drive-in.

With all the water jets
and the pressures going?

Hey, look out!

Are you looking to get trashed,
you little creep?

Ah, get yourself a skateboard,
it's faster!

I'll dump him!

Get him!

Come on, you guys. Back off.
I didn't mean it. Come on.

The throttle linkage
is stuck!

Well, turn off the ignition.

I can't!

'Oh, boy!
Now the steering's gone.'

'There's too much
play in the wheel.'

'I can't hold it
straight on the road.'

'15, 7-Mary 3 and 4, LA.'

'We have a report of
a vehicle out of control

Northbound Ventura,
approaching Vineland.'

The linkage is unstuck.
It's okay now.

Two motor cops on our tail
and comin' up fast.

Strip that license plate
off the front.

I'll get the one in the back.

What good will that do?
They still can trace the car--

It's unregistered.

Come on,
let's cut out of here.

Did you notice that dude
in the brand new cad?

He almost coughed up
his cap when we nicked him.

I've had some
wild rides in my time

but that was the most.

What do you say we take in
a Rams game this Sunday?

You got tickets?

No, but I know
this guy who can--

Alright,
wait a minute.

The last time we got
tickets from that guy

we sat so high up
on the field

it looked like ants
on a striped tie.

Okay, okay.
Don't applaud, don't applaud.

Just genuflect when I pass.

Come on, Ponch. Tell us
what you did to get Getraer

to issue you a commendable
incident report.

'I'll tell you
what he did.'

Our little hot dog here dashed
off 278 cites in just one month.

Whoa.

Alright. Get your subpoenas
while they're hot.

Grossman.

Oh, how can anyone
contest my citation?

Just look at this face.

It's the epitome of
honesty and integrity.

'Ah, don't laugh
too loud, Poncherello.'

Here's one for you.

Don't let it get you
down, Ponch.

One out of 278
isn't bad.

Why won't anybody believe I
could write that many cites?

Uh, can you just
make this a warning?

'I mean, it would be
my third ticket in 11 months.'

- I could lose my job.
- I'm sorry, sir.

That's something you should have
thought of sooner.

Have a nice day.

Sure.

I still say that records
clerk made a mistake.

She must have added my cites
with somebody else's.

No, that woman wouldn't
make a mistake like that

and you know it.

Oh, yeah?

Look at this name.

Archibald V. McNulty.

Man, there's no way I wouldn't
remember a name like that.

Hey, Pete.
We missed you.

Uh, well, I've been
working nights.

What happened? Did you miss
the third turn at Ontario?

Yeah. You know,
but I still came in third.

We'll be talking
to you later, alright?

Okay.

If he races, how come
he didn't become

a motor officer
like his brother?

I don't know,
but his brother Gary

was one of the best partners
I've ever ridden with

until he got killed
chasing that speeding car.

That's when my luck
changed, too.

How's that?

I got you.

Oh, you're beautiful.

Oh, officer.
Officer?

Wait a minute. How do you know
that she wants you?

Vibes, old buddy,
pure vibes.

What can we do
for you?

We're looking for
this Ventura freeway.

Oh, yeah, that's the on-ramp's
two blocks straight ahead.

Uh, we just arrived.

Maybe you can suggest
a nice place to stay

till we get an apartment,
preferably in Hollywood.

Try The Suncrest. That's a
swinging motel on the strip.

Do you fellas ever
drop around the suncrest?

Well, if we're encouraged.

Consider yourself
encouraged.

Bye.

Come on, let's roll.

Those freeways
are getting worse.

I tell you, people are driving
like they don't care anymore.

Tell me about it.

On my way here today
I bet I saw half a dozen guys

zipping in and out of lanes,
tailgating, speeding.

Every one of them
was getting away with it.

We can't get them all.

Well, they ought to put
more men on those freeways.

Yeah, tell the governor.

Hey, we'll talk to you
later, huh, Pete?

Get one for Gary for me,
will you?

Yeah, I will.

Yeah. Here's another one
with your name on it.

Yeah, that's mine, but
those other three

with my name sure aren't.

Well, why would another officer
want to make you a big man

by signing your name
and not his?

I don't think
it's another officer.

Look at these serial numbers
on the forged citations.

They're all the same.
G-6-8-6-6-3-5.

Every one of them. Somehow,
someone snatched that page

from my pinch book
and had it copied.

Yeah, looks like
an offset job.

Yeah, but where would they get
the badge and uniform?

Well, I got a better
question for you.

How did he manage to slip
a page out of your pinch book?

Well, I'm working
on that, sarge.

'Poncherello.'

You realize, of course,
that I'm going to have to

withdraw that commendable
incident report on you.

I'm sorry about that.

Yeah, I see you're
all choked up about it.

'Is that you, honey?'

Better be.

Hi.

Can't you make it a scotch
and water for a change?

Yeah, sure, I'll
make one right now.

Ah, forget it.

Rough day, huh?

They're all rough.

Work, home, work.
Nothing changes.

My life's like a hunk of
warmed-over cabbage.

Well, just don't forget we have
to be at my mother's by 8:00.

End of a beautiful day.

Hello.

Did you see
the papers tonight?

No, not yet.

'We just made the front page.'

'Can you believe it, man?
We bopped 22 cars, baby. 22.'

Last count, it was 17.

Hey, man. We just
invented a new game.

'What do you say we
roll again tomorrow?'

Uh, no, I can't, uh..
I'm busy.

So I'll make it a solo.
Dig me on the 11:00 news.

Do you believe it?

Some bike jockey
is riding around

handing out cites
with my name on them.

Must be righteous
citations

or you'd have
more than one subpoena.

That's not the point.

- I'll get a crowbar.
- Yeah.

Alright, come on,
let's go.

Move. Come on.

Come on, keep it moving.
Come on.

Who's in there?

A girl on a respirator
and an intern.

'Wait a minute. Easy.
I think my leg's broken.'

Let me give you a hand.
How's the girl?

She's scared,
but not hurt.

- Hi.
- Hi.

Are you alright?

I-I-I can't breathe.

Listen, I'll be
right back.

You just relax, okay?

How is he?

It's broken.

See my partner.
He'll call it in for you.

Okay.

She's having
trouble breathing.

Well, the respirator pump's
been knocked out.

Can we get the respirator
out of there?

No, no. It's bolted down.

Listen, get on the horn
and call for a crane

and tell them
on the double.

Right.

There's got to be
something we can do.

- There's a hand pump.

On the left side, up near the
front of the respirator.

Okay.

Wait a minute,
Ponch.

'Pipes could come
down anytime.'

Yeah, let's hope not.

Listen, this emergency pump,
I'll have it going in a second.

You guys better get some ropes,
chains, whatever you got

and tie these pipes off.

- Okay, we got it.
- You got it. Right.

I got the pump going now.
It's going to be okay.

Hey, my name is Ponch.
What's yours?

Kathy.

Nice to meet you, Kathy.

Feeling better now?

Mm-hmm.

Listen, you just relax.
With old Ponch here

you got nothin'
to worry about.

Okay, got it.

Okay, that's the key. We're
gonna to have to hold that one.

Come on.

Hey, Grossman.
Get that crane in here.

Let's go.

Hang in there till it tightens
down on the other side.

Noisy little rascals,
aren't they?

You okay?

Yeah, I'm fine. Let's get this
chain on the other side.

Let's get this thing
squared away, alright?

How old are you, Kathy?

I'll be 13 Saturday.

You're kidding.
You could have fooled me.

I would have
thought you were older.

Really?

Yeah, 15 at least.

What happened to that guy
who was directing traffic?

I didn't see anybody
directing traffic

but I saw a motor officer
going down the off-ramp

when I drove up.

You just keep breathing,
alright?

We'll have you
out of here

faster than you can say
Rumpelstiltskin.

Rumpel who?

Rumpelstiltskin.

Don't tell me you
never heard the story.

I don't think so.

Well, young lady, you missed

one of the hair-raisers
of all times.

You see, there was
this beautiful girl

'with long blonde hair'

and she had to spin gold
out of straw.

Thank you, both of you,
for everything.

Don't mention it.

Listen uh, I hope
the next time we see you

it's under
nicer circumstances.

Hey, whatever happened
to that girl

who spun
gold from straw?

Oh, her. She graduated from
business school at UCLA.

She owns
her own bank now.

Lean down here, you two.

Closer.

Have a happy birthday
now, you hear?

Oh, I will.

You know, you been moping
around here for two days now.

What's bugging you, honey?

Me. I'm what's
bugging me.

I'm beginning to feel
like I'm doped up

except there's no high
to go with it.

What are you talkin' about?

I'm talkin' about
my job, this house.

'The same things,
over and over.'

Nothing happens anymore.

Me and Davy.

We're what's happening
if you took the time to notice.

Angy, there's got to be
more to breathing

than just this...this
box I'm in.

In a few years,
I'm going to be 40.

So? That's such a big deal.

To me, yeah.

Look, I'll tell you what.

'Why don't I send Davy over to
the Heffers for the night'

we'll go out, have dinner,
go to a movie..

'What did I just say?'

Nothing ever changes
around here, does it?

We might as well be 90 years old
for the rut we're in.

Well, that's funny.

Up till a couple of days ago,
you seemed to like it.

Baby, it's not you. It's not
Davy. It's me. It's the shop.

It's staring into the guts
of a TV set all day.

While outside, in the streets,
wherever, people are living.

I'm not living
anymore, Angy.

Oh, and I am.

Why don't you stay home
a couple of days with Davy

the dog, the house,
the dirty clothes.

'I'll show you living.'

I knew you were
going to say that.

Even when we have a beef,
we can't get out of the rut.

Okay, what's going on, Sid?

Some young girl been
coming on to you?

Nowadays, girls don't
dig middle-aged mummies.

Oh, middle-aged, my foot.

You know, when you say that,
you include me.

Look, honey..

Let's go over
to the hangout.

Few laughs,
like we used to.

Maybe some of the
old gang is still around.

Sure, so you can get juiced
and end up in a fight?

No, thanks.

Well, it didn't used to
bother you.

Oh, that was years ago.
We were dumb kids then.

Yeah, well,
we're now zombies.

Argh!

That's the guy that was at
the traffic accident yesterday.

When we pulled up,
he was directing traffic.

A few minutes later,
he was gone.

'15, 7-Mary 3 or 4, LA.'

'Report of an 11-24, stalled
vehicle on the right shoulder'

'eastbound Ventura
near Haskell.'

I'll take it.

They're worth
a nickel, at least.

Your thoughts?
No way.

Let's just say I know how a guy
got ahold of your pinch book

tore out a blank citation
and put it back

without you knowing about it.

Happened when we stopped
to eat about a month ago.

I think the guy was
Pete Bertram.

Sure. His brother
was an officer.

That's where he got the badge
and the uniform.

I can't prove it.

Who are you,
Abe Lincoln Jr.?

So let's get a warrant
and go to his house--

No, wait a minute, Ponch.
I want to talk to him first.

- Give him a chance.

Oh, man, and you got
the brass enchilada

to wonder if I show favoritism
to friends.

Remember, his brother
was my partner.

Let me handle it.

Okay.

Handle it.

May I see your license,
please, sir?

Sure. How about this?

Jon.

That's right, Pete.

What if this would
have been a gun?

What if this had been
some guy in a stolen car?

Huh?

You wouldn't know him because
you don't have a hot sheet.

Or say I was some dude coming
from a heist and had a hostage?

What would you do
then, huh?

I'll tell you
what you'd do.

You'd probably
get yourself killed

and an innocent person
along with you.

This job, this job is
more than handing out

traffic citations, man.

What do you think we spend all
those months in school for?

Learning how to
hold a pencil?

I wanted to be a cop,
but they wouldn't take me.

Oh..

I'm color-blind.

So I talked Gary into it.

And it's my fault
that he's dead.

Hey, Pete, no,
wait a minute. That's dumb.

I mean, that's really dumb.

'Gary was 28 years old.
He wasn't a kid.'

And he knew what
he was doing. You don't.

So what happens now?
What are you going to do?

You're under arrest for
impersonating an officer.

You going to take me in?

No.

You're going to take
yourself in.

Tomorrow morning,
first thing, at Central.

I want you to turn in Gary's
uniform, his gun, and..

...and his badge.

I'll be waiting
for you, Pete.

If you're not there,
I'm coming after you.

Alright. Beautiful. Hey.

Oh, this is the one.
Right on, man. This is it.

Yeah. This is
going to do just fine.

This is the second old heap
you've taken in 3 days.

What are you doing
with these old jalopies?

They're only good for parts.

I'm going to dress her up
with higher carburation

lower her rear end gearing,
and really soup her up.

She's going to be
the star of the next

freeway bumper car game.

Good shot.

Here. To the old days.

Hey, come off it, man.

You're making it sound like
we're pushing for Medicare.

I tell you, Ponch,
once you hit 35

the years seem to go
into high gear.

Hey, haven't you heard?
Life begins at 40.

You haven't even
been born yet.

Yeah, maybe.

What happened to all the kicks
to all the great times?

Huh

Do we just sit around and
listen to our arteries harden?

That's pretty heavy stuff
you're saying there.

I remember when I was
a senior in high school

and started having beefs
with my old man.

I thought, man, what's this old
dude know what's going down?

Then it hit me one day.

Now I'm as old
as he was then.

That's heavy.

Come on, Sid.

A few wrinkles don't make you
ripe for social security.

Something happened the other
day, something crazy..

'The kind of stunt
we used to pull.'

It got me thinking of
what a rut I've been in.

What crazy stunt?

Oh, it doesn't matter.

It only showed me that
I'm still capable

of feeling some
real gut excitement.

'Something I haven't
felt for years.'

Yeah, well,
you can't eat excitement

or take it to the bank.

Sure. Easy for you to talk.

You're tooling around
on your bike

in the middle of
what's really happening.

Look, Sid, you got a home

a real home with a wife
who cares about you.

I know Angy, and she's
good people, man.

And you got a son
and a business that's going.

What more do you want, huh?

Maybe all that's what's
making me feel trapped.

What you feel is
the weight of responsibility

which sooner or later
gets everybody.

You're fighting it

which tells me, baby,
that you're a late bloomer.

What do you mean
by that?

You're feeling the pangs
of growing up.

Like I told you. Good as new
for one third the cost.

How long is it going to
take you to put them on?

I tell you what,
you leave your truck with me

I'll drive you home now and I'll
pick you up in the morning.

- Okay.
- Come on.

Another clunker, huh?

Yeah, but she's got
a belly full of fire.

Drop your socks and play
the fox, old buddy.

The auto-boppers are
about to ride again. Yeah.

Now, wait a minute.

Uh-huh!

What are you doin'?

Cool it, man.
Just cool it. Hey, hey.

'Attention, all units.
Report of a reckless driver.'

What are you,
out of your skull?

What are you doing?

I'm growing up, man.

Over there,
what do you think?

Well, well. You can take
the boy out of Van Nuys

but you can't take the Van Nuys
out of the boy, huh, Rudy?

Nice of you to bring
the car here, though.

Won't have to be moved.

Yeah, he just walked in here
said he was under arrest

for impersonating an officer
and left this stuff with me.

Pete's really a good guy.
I hope the DA goes easy on him.

Well, he didn't use the badge
for his own gain.

I have a pretty strong hunch
the DA will recommend probation.

If I know Judge Harlowe,
and I do, she'll listen.

You know the judge?

Yeah, I used to date her
when she was in law school.

Oh, fine.

Pete will be lucky
if he doesn't get 5 to 10.

That's the nicest birthday cake
I ever saw.

You better blow out
those candles.

They're starting to
drip on the cake.

I don't know if I can.

Hey, now, what kind of
talk is that, huh?

Will you help me, Jon?

Sorry, honey.
You're on your own.

Good girl.
Happy birthday.

Thanks, you guys.

'Listen, the doctor says
if you work at it'

you'll get out of
this thing real soon

so, uh, I'd like to
make my date now.

Do you like movies?

I love movies.

Oh, no. Oh, no.
I get the first date.

Right, honey?
Tell him.

"Faster than you can say
Rumpelstiltskin."

But shouldn't you have a girl
waiting for you on your day off?

Me? Hey, I got
a dozen women out there

just pulling their
hair out over me.

But, uh, who likes
bald

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