All language subtitles for CHiPs s02e09 The Sheik.e

Beautiful day.

Clean, fresh,
everything seems right.

Wish we didn't
have to work today.

Don't see why somebody
doesn't fix those sprinklers.

Ah, come on, Jon.
A few drops of water?

Don't blow your top.

I didn't blow my top!
It's..

Ahem.

Alright, I blew my top.

I'm sorry, alright?

It's usually you.

Yeah, but not today, partner.

Today I'm cool,
calm and friendly.

Yeah

Wanna bet?

Okay.

Whenever I lose my temper,
I'll pay you a buck.

So you don't have to go
to your savings account

better make it a quarter.

Cool, calm and friendly?

Morning, sir. Do you mind
stepping out of the car, please?

Is that necessary?

Please.
It's a proper request.

I'm in a terrible hurry.
I'm late for an appointment.

I understand, sir.

The sooner you get out,
the sooner we get this over.

Step to the curb, please.

And if I refuse?

It's for safety.

I don't like being touched!

What is this, Gestapo?

My God! I've never been
treated like this in my life.

You bullies!

LA 15,7 Mary 3.
Roll a 11-48..

This is an example
of American justice.

American law enforcement, sir.

Justice comes later
in the court.

Transportation's on its way.

I must warn both of you,
you'll regret this.

You bullies with guns.

You stormtroopers!

Would you just
keep it quiet, sir?

I'm a very important man.

- I have diplomatic immunity!

I said I have
diplomatic immunity.

Why didn't you
mention that before?

Because you treated me
with rudeness and disrespect!

Hi, guys.
What's going on?

Oh, excessive speed,
reckless driving and assault.

And a sore chin.
You transportation?

- Yep.
- I can't believe it.

A woman stormtrooper.
In my country--

Now, that'll be enough!

Cahill, we may have
problems with this arrest

but we'll leave it
up to Getraer.

Want to take him
down to the office?

I would not go
with a woman.

He would not?

Cahill, take his majesty
off the street.

"Your Highness" will do.

All of this is
a waste of time.

One phone call.

You can make it
from the office.

Have you never heard
of diplomatic immunity?

I cannot be charged.

If you'll remove these chains,
I'll show you my papers.

That'll have to wait
till the station, too.

The time to have
shown your papers

was when you were stopped.

You're a very attractive lady.

Yeah. Hot stuff.

Why do you do what you do?

You mean, my job?

I mean that in my country

a beautiful woman like you
would live in jewels and furs.

She would live lavishly.

Well, who do I have to know to
become a cop in your country?

- Me.
- Okay.

Ah, Poncherello, Baker

this is Mr. Taylor
of the state department.

And, uh, Miss Fay Ramad.

She's the assistant
consul in this area

for the Sheikdom of Bezel.

- Nice to meet you.

The department is
requesting that all charges

against his highness
be dropped.

He carries
diplomatic immunity.

Yeah and a good left.

Sergeant, he struck
Officer Poncherello.

I did not strike him.
I merely slapped him.

Highness, please.

Ah, I'll ask you to make out
your written reports

and hand them directly to me.

Sergeant, may we speak
with you a moment in private?

Uh, yeah.
If you'll excuse me, please.

Look, guys, uh,
they've got us over a barrel

and I don't like it
any more than you do.

But, uh, his highness
has clout.

I'd like to give him
a little bit more.

The man is
Sheik Ali Akbarnia Bezel

the first-born son, the favorite
son of the ruler of Bezel.

Need I say oil

If his old man
loves him so much

why'd he let him
out of his sight?

He's attending college here.

Don't laugh, but he's
majoring in police science.

Hmm, well,
he's a slow study.

Next thing you know, you'll
ask us to apologize to him.

Uh, it was mentioned

but I suggested
it might not be wise.

Look, you guys, uh,
why don't you just

write this off
to experience, huh?

Yeah. Well, you know, like
they say in the oil field

"That's Shah business."

Oh..

I'd better wash that one
down with a cup of coffee.

With your permission.

Gentlemen, please don't say
that I approached you

but I feel I owe
you an apology.

Not you, ma'am.

You don't have one thing
to apologize for.

Please be assured
that my government

will take steps to prevent
another such occurrence.

And you're both very kind.

Ma'am, it's been
a pleasure.

Did I say that?

It was a white
and blue pickup.

The kegs fell off the back.

Holy smokes,
look what happened.

Kind of hard to miss.

I'm going to see
about the truck.

LA 15, 7 Mary 3, we're 10-97
at baseline and Adler.

We have an 11-25,
nails in all lanes.

11-85 and
an additional 11-84.

Don't worry, folks. We'll get
things straightened out.

You'd better
do something quick!

She thinks she's gonna
have the baby right here.

And who should know better?

Okay, we better
call an ambulance.

Look, don't put yourself out.

Six times she thought
she knew better.

Six trips to the hospital,
Six trips home.

Well, we'd better
play it safe, huh?

Now, there's a guy with class.

How would you know?

Yeah.

After looking
at what I married

maybe you've got a point.

Careful, ma'am. Be careful
of the nails, now.

Oh, that's the least
of my problems.

Hey-hey, you see that
yellow car over there?

'
'

That's my husband's car.

You can't see him now,
but he's there, alright.

With his
blonde receptionist.

I've been following him.

And I got him this time.
I got him cold. Come on.

Wait a minute, ma'am.
I have 10 cars piled up here

and this lady's about
ready to have a baby.

Big deal.

Listen, can't you catch him
cold some other time?

Not on your life!

You're going to wish
you were never born!

Lois, honey!
I can explain, honey!

I can ex--
No, no, no!

You're going to wish
you were never born!

Ma'am, come on.
This is not the place.

'Mind your own business.'

'My business is
keeping the peace.'

'Now, I'm gonna
have to charge you'

'with disturbing it.'

- You wouldn't.
- I would.

Why is there always a cop
around when you don't want one?

You're going to get it.

The both of you,
you're going to get it!

'Watch the nails.'

Easy. Easy.

I'm telling you,
it's a false alarm.

She's not even due yet
for another week.

- No, no, no.

I'll stay here
with my car.

Tell her I'll pick her up
later at the hospital, again.

Okay?

You catch the truck?

Yeah.
The tailgate came open.

He didn't even know it.

Come on.

It's a boy.

Excuse me, uh, you're the proud
father of a bouncing baby boy.

Mr. Immunity rides again.

Temper, temper.

Your turn, Baker.

Thanks.

Afternoon, Your Highness.

It seems we meet again.

'Step from the car, please.'

Of course. There's no need
for us to act like enemies.

Could we step to the curb,
please, away from traffic?

Would you like
to see my papers?

No. Simply your driver's license
and registration, please.

Well, you are
aware, of course

that under diplomatic immunity

I'm not required to carry a
driver's license of any kind.

Well, that's not
exactly correct.

In any case, every vehicle
has to have a registration.

That I can show you.

Forgive me, Your Highness

but this registration
expired a year ago.

Ah, the stupidity of
some of our clerks.

Well, I'll see that it's
taken care of immediately.

We better call a tow truck.

I'm no more than
50 minutes from home

and there is my immunity.

Yes, sir, you are immune,
but your vehicle is not.

We're gonna have to
impound it 98-01

until proper registration
can be shown.

Fees and penalties paid.

May I have the keys, please?

But this is..
No, no. This is not--

My partner asked you
for the key, please.

You are aware that this is
police

California state law,
sir, please.

Bah!

Thank you, Your Highness.

Look, uh, would you
like us to call a car

to get you
to your destination?

There is no need,
thank you.

I will have
the consulate send a car.

LA 15, 7 Mary 4.
Roll an 11-85

to the 2400 block
on the baseline.

We have an impound
for fees and penalties.

'10-4, 7 Mary 4.'

Come on, face it, Jon.

You thought you'd be a buck
or two richer by now.

But I have controlled
my temper all day.

I have been calm
and pleasant, right?

Yeah.
Well, I 'll tell you something.

It's disgusting how low a guy
will stoop to win a two-bit bet.

Yeah? Well, what do you say
we extend the time on it, hmm?

It's fine with me.
As long as you want.

Hey, get this.

"Consulate of Bezel."

"Your presence is
cordially requested

"for an informal afternoon
aboard the Lady Theresa

"Saturday the 15th at 2 p.m.

Casual and bathing attire
will be worn."

- Hmm.

Wonder why the
Sheik invited us.

Man, that's no invitation.
That's a summons.

We've had it with him
on the streets

and he thinks when
he says "Frog", we jump?

No way, pal.
I'd rather go to the dentist.

Ponch, you got a phone call.

Alright.

Poncherello.
I have a call.

Yeah, Poncherello here.

This is Fay Ramad
from the consulate office.

Do you remember me,
Mr. Poncherello?

Oh, yes, ma'am.
Can I help you?

Yes. I was wondering if you'd
received the invitations

I sent to Mr. Baker and you.

Yousent them?

One of the more pleasant
aspects of my job.

May we count on you to attend?

Oh, I'll have to talk to
my partner about it.

I don't think we got
anything planned that day.

I hope not.
I'd enjoy seeing you again.

I'll try to work it out and
uh, thanks for calling.

Bye.

Oh..

Don't just stand there, man.
Get me the scotch tape!

Thank you.

Ahem. It's cold.

Gentlemen.

What is it?

- Caviar.
- Caviar.

I know caviar.
I meant, what brand?

The chef imports it, sir.

It's very expensive.

Not really, sir.
Only $200 a pound.

What's the matter?
Don't you like it?

I don't know.

I don't think I can eat..

...anything that costs
"$200 a pound."

I watched you on the jet skis.
You were wonderful.

You having a good time?

Yes.
It's very, um...

Elegant.

Right.

Champagne, gentlemen?

Would you like something else?

To be honest with you,
a cold beer.

Come.
We have a nice selection.

C'est vraiment froid.

Woo!

Merci.

Woo!

J'aime bien moi.

Michelle, Suzanne.

Il est tres simple.

C'est difficile ca,
pas simple.

Ah, oui?

Well, hello.

I pray you're all
having a pleasant time.

Formidable.

Good. Um..

Would you two mind
seeing me in private?

It's your party.

Well, then, this way.

Eh...excusez-moi.

Attendez-vous ici,
s'il vous plait.

He's cute.

Pas mal.

Come in.

I invited you here today
so we could..

...settle matters
between us.

My objective is
a simple understanding.

I hope that you equally
enjoy the situation.

You realize you're
offering us a bribe?

Uh, no.

This is semantics, Poncherello.

Semantics.
Poncherello, yes?

You see,
in my country, um...

this is custom, please.

We have customs, too.
And we have laws.

I'm above your laws.

Come on.

Someday you're gonna kill
somebody the way you drive

but you cannot buy permission
to do it on our beat.

Not for all the oil
in the Middle East.

Baker, I owe you
another quarter.

Excuse me, uh, Fay

we'd just like to say
thank you and good-bye.

Oh, is anything wrong?

Yeah, I need a hamburger..

...at 98 cents a pound.

- Good-bye.
- Bye.

Ponch.

You know, I never
asked you why, uh

Barney's studying
police science

when he can't even
obey the law.

Well, his father
hopes he'll learn

and come home and take charge
of the Sheikdom's police.

Is this where you live?

Oh, yeah.
Um..

Listen, how come the Sheik
put you in charge of his son?

I thought women in
your country were, uh..

Unemancipated.

Yeah.

We are and that's the point.

You see, Barney won't
take orders from any man.

But I'm his cousin.
I represent no threat to him.

So he'll take...
persuasion from me.

Ponch, aren't we going in?

Yeah, okay, Fay, but don't
expect too much, alright?

And..

In fact, don't expect anything.

I'm buying some furniture,
but, uh..

This is how
the other half lives.

I mean, I'm not apologizing
for being poor.

It's just that
I'm sorry if you--

Ponch, I love your place.

Really?
- It's great.

Well, let me take you
to the balcony.

Let me show you the view.

- Okay.
- Come on.

Ahem!

Oh, uh, excuse me.
This is, uh..

Permettez-moi de vous presenter
Suzanne, n'est

- Oui.

Ca va.

What is shaking, pussycats?

Hey, Jon, the steaks
are burning!

Here.

Hey!

Okay, here.
W-wait! Smother it.

Ow! Get the sprayer!
Where's the sprayer?

Ow! Ow! Hey!

Oh, no!

I like mine
well-done anyway.

You sent for us, sarge?

Uh, yeah. I thought
you guys might like

to ride in the cruiser
for the rest of the day.

Normally, I know you
wouldn't like to do that.

But, uh, it might be fun,
you'll have company.

Uh, your observer.

You mean you want us
to baby

I mean, I can't even..
If he says one..

The idea is to anoint him
with the wisdom

of the California
vehicle code.

Ah, come on, sarge.
That's a bit much to ask.

Ask?

Yes.
Is it an order?

No.

Then it's too much.

It's just a request.

- 'From his government.'
- Mm-mm.

- From your state department.
- Uh-uh.

'From your
division commander.'

- No.
- No.

Your sergeant!

All this is a waste of time.

Why don't you just
take me home?

This is your
father's idea.

He wouldn't like it.

But why you two?

Well, maybe he heard
we were friends.

Listen, why don't you
just relax

and maybe
you can learn something?

I've learned
all I care to know.

You write citations,
the fines are paid

the government gets richer.

You know what you are,
both of you?

You're nothing more than tax
collectors in fancy uniforms.

Listen, Your Highness--

Ahem, it's gonna
cost you a quarter.

The uniforms aren't that fancy.

And we don't always
write citations

because we're not
always around.

And reckless drivers
get away with murder.

Six kids on the way
to the beach.

The driver, he lost control
and went off the Canyon Road.

He's okay.
Minor injuries.

He killed all five
of his friends.

'This one was
forced out of control'

in front of a truck
that couldn't stop.

Three fatalities.

One four-year-old child.

The guy who cut him off..

...never even stopped.

'Attention, all units in the
vicinity of Veteran and Slawson'

'possible 11-44.'

Come on, Barney.
Get in. Let's roll.

LA 15,
7 Mary 4 responding.

Hey, Barney!

- Come on, get in.

'Two cars involved.'

'15 SA, 10-39
at the office.'

'15 6 Adam, 11-25.'

'Stalled vehicle in
the number one lane.'

'East bound,
Santa Monica freeway..'

Come on, Sheik. Let's go.
Come on! They need help.

Hurry up.
Will you move it?

- Yeah.

I'll need the portapower
and some chain.

It's in the second compartment

right side of the truck.

Sheik, come here.

Your Highness, come here.

Barney, come here!

Now, you hold this up high.

Is he going to live?

He's got a 60-40 chance.

I see you have
royalty with you.

What's he doing?

Sightseeing.

Not pretty.

Say, Jon, you mind
taking the statements here?

I'll do the hospital
follow-up.

Alright.
You're faded.

- See you later.
- You bet.

I lost my temper at him.

I think it did some good.

Sometimes that's the only way.

Just hang on, old man.

'You're in excellent hands.'

'So be on the lookout
for car clouters'

'shaking down
any abandoned vehicles.'

'Okay, I guess
that's everything.'

Oh, uh, one more thing.

Regulations state that
accepting gifts or gratuities

is strictly prohibited.

Okay, hit your beats.

Well, I hope
you two are aware

that that last little bit
was meant for you.

- Yep.

The only gift I ever got
was from a guy

I helped change a tire.

Gave me a tip on a horse..

...and the donkey
ran dead last.

Well, if I were you,
I'd check the parking lot out

before you
engrave it in stone.

- Yep.

Whoo!

Wow!

Beautiful, aren't they?

Yeah, but they
do look like gifts.

They couldn't be for us.

Uh, read the cards.

Hey, Jon, this one
is addressed to you.

Oh, yeah?

Yeah, well, uh...
this one's yours.

Hmm.

Pink slips.

Huh. "Sheik Barney."

I don't know, Jon.

An SE's a little
more car than I want.

Yeah, well, you think you'd like
the 450 SL a little better?

It's yours.

Whoo!

Ah...but why?

These are not bribes.

These are gifts
of gratitude

from friend to friend.

You made me..
How do you say?

You made me open my eyes
and see things.

You made me see myself.

All I wanted to do
was thank you.

Well, we can't accept them.
They're gifts.

But in America, we place

a very high price
on a handshake.

Ah..

Well..

Well..

At least, I can say
that from now on..

...I'm going to drive
the limousine.

Rather, my staff is
going to drive it for me.

No more hot-rodding
in the Ferrari.

Well, that's very good.

Uh, one more thing.

Control your temper.

And always try to be
cool, calm and friendly.

Yes, yes.
Cool, calm and friendly.

Yes.

See you, Barney.

Why, that two-faced,
double-talking liar!

Watch your temper, Ponch.

I'm mad and I admit it!

I've had it with this cat. I'm
going to throw the book at him.

I'm gonna take him
off the street.

- Immunity or no immunity--
- Hey, Ponch, uh...

Well, at last you're
here to do your duty.

I've been speeding
all over your beat.

I have a ticket from Baricza.

I have one from Grossman.
I have one from Cahill.

I have one from Fritz.

Where have you been?

Look, you didn't
have to go speeding.

You could have
called me tonight.

I'll be gone by tonight.

I'm flying
to Paris at 4:00.

To Paris

Well, Barney's younger brother
is in trouble

and the Sheik wants me
to try to straighten him out.

Do you care to join me?

Yeah, sure.
Jon speaks French.

Anyway, I'll write you.

And I'll expect replies.

Oh, that's a deal.

'Hey, hey, hey!'

Hold it, now.
Ponch, that's a gift.

Well, come on.
You're gonna have to return it.

What do you want me
to do with these tickets?

Let the consulate
handle them.

A really special type.

Yeah, but, uh...
blew your cool.

Oh, wait a minute, man.

That was before I knew
it was her.

Nah, "I'm mad" you said.
"I admit it."

So I owe you another quarter.

Yeah, well, uh,
I'll take it.

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