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They're creepy and they're kooky
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Mysterious and spooky
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They're altogether ooky
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The Addams family
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The house is a museum
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When people come to see 'em
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They really are a scream
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The Addams family
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MAN: Neat.
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Sweet.
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Petite.
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So get a witch 's shawl on
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A broomstick you can crawl on
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We're gonna pay a call on
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The Addams family
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How exciting. Look at them go!
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This is going to be the greatest
train wreck in railroad history.
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I'm gonna switch them
onto the same track. Watch!
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Wonderful.
21
00:01:44,615 --> 00:01:46,924
Darling, you have such a way with trains.
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-I suppose so.
-Weren't you happy with it?
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I thought it was your finest wreck.
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Perhaps it was. But I've just realized,
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if you wreck one train, you wreck them all.
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Sometimes
I almost wish they'd miss each other.
27
00:02:05,132 --> 00:02:07,327
Gomez, what a shocking thought.
28
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Maybe we've just gotten into a rut.
29
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We do seem to be doing the same things
over and over again.
30
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-Our morning stroll through the swamp.
-Fencing across the lunch table.
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Darling, why don't you come
and have a nice hot cup of henbane?
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It'll soothe your nerves.
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MORTlClA: Thank you, Thing.
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-Darling.
-Thank you.
35
00:02:51,754 --> 00:02:54,712
Darling, maybe we should
take a trip somewhere.
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Tombstone or Death Valley.
Some fun place.
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00:03:00,594 --> 00:03:01,868
Perhaps.
38
00:03:02,763 --> 00:03:04,674
Good morning, darling.
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00:03:05,890 --> 00:03:08,404
Would you like a bite? Chew your food.
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No, no. Cleopatra, you'll spoil your lunch.
41
00:03:16,816 --> 00:03:19,125
Darling, maybe we should
have some people in.
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That nice Mr. Harris.
He always seemed to enjoy himself here.
43
00:03:23,738 --> 00:03:25,968
That would be pleasant,
but I'm afraid Mr. Harris
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won't have the time for us any longer.
Did you see the paper this morning?
45
00:03:29,660 --> 00:03:31,457
No, darling, I haven't read the paper yet.
46
00:03:31,620 --> 00:03:33,497
He has a new job working
for the government.
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00:03:33,663 --> 00:03:39,181
"Foreign diplomats visiting our city.
Roger L. Harris to conduct tour for VlPs."
48
00:03:40,419 --> 00:03:42,011
There's a picture.
49
00:03:43,964 --> 00:03:45,920
MORTlClA: They certainly seem
to be enjoying the tour.
50
00:03:50,552 --> 00:03:54,625
Well, I hope you'll enjoy the places
we're going to see today, gentlemen.
51
00:03:55,306 --> 00:03:57,103
We will not enjoy.
52
00:03:58,225 --> 00:04:02,264
Frankly, Washington is quite upset
about your lack of enthusiasm so far.
53
00:04:02,521 --> 00:04:03,510
So?
54
00:04:04,314 --> 00:04:06,384
They seem to blame me for it.
55
00:04:06,566 --> 00:04:09,558
If I fail to give you a good impression
of our country, well...
56
00:04:09,777 --> 00:04:11,768
Oh, it'll mean the axe for me.
57
00:04:12,362 --> 00:04:14,671
-Miri Haan, take note.
-Note I take.
58
00:04:14,864 --> 00:04:18,903
If guide fails assignment,
Washington masters will chop off head.
59
00:04:19,159 --> 00:04:20,148
Naturally.
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00:04:20,285 --> 00:04:23,482
No, I don't mean they'll chop my head off.
I mean they'll fire me.
61
00:04:23,705 --> 00:04:26,503
-And then set fire to him.
-Destroy evidence.
62
00:04:28,709 --> 00:04:31,906
Gentlemen, look,
you take our language too literally.
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00:04:32,295 --> 00:04:35,890
For two days now your Washington
masters have shown us phony tour.
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00:04:36,132 --> 00:04:38,009
They only show us what they want us
to see.
65
00:04:38,175 --> 00:04:41,087
You do not show us the real America.
66
00:04:41,344 --> 00:04:44,654
The downtrodden masses slaving
under bureaucratic whip.
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00:04:44,972 --> 00:04:46,928
We want to see the people.
The real peoples!
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00:04:47,099 --> 00:04:48,134
Peoples.
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00:04:48,267 --> 00:04:52,419
All right. All right, anything you say.
You can see anybody you want to.
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00:04:52,771 --> 00:04:56,127
Good. We choose honest way. By chance.
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00:04:56,565 --> 00:05:00,399
We stick pin into phone book.
Wherever pin strikes we go.
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00:05:01,111 --> 00:05:03,466
-All right with me.
-Miri Haan, phone book.
73
00:05:05,406 --> 00:05:06,395
I'll get a pin.
74
00:05:08,117 --> 00:05:10,187
-We use our own pin.
-Always.
75
00:05:14,622 --> 00:05:17,090
Eeny, meeny, miney, boom!
76
00:05:18,500 --> 00:05:19,853
What's the matter, Tish?
Something wrong?
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00:05:20,001 --> 00:05:23,789
That's strange. I felt just as though
I'd been stuck with a pin.
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00:05:24,630 --> 00:05:27,940
The Addams. Oh, no, no, they aren't...
They're off limits.
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00:05:35,973 --> 00:05:38,533
Excuse me, sir. Please don't go in there.
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00:05:38,725 --> 00:05:39,714
A-ha!
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-Guide begs us not to go in. Why?
-Why?
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00:05:42,395 --> 00:05:46,229
Because we have found real American
family, not phony bureaucratic setup.
83
00:05:46,482 --> 00:05:47,631
-That's not so.
-And government
84
00:05:47,774 --> 00:05:50,368
-will chop off his head for this.
-Poor fellow.
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00:05:50,944 --> 00:05:53,253
Come. We go see some real Americans.
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00:05:55,948 --> 00:05:58,985
Look, fellows, I know
where there's a dandy little bar downtown
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00:05:59,201 --> 00:06:01,317
with beautiful dancing girls.
You'll have a ball there.
88
00:06:01,494 --> 00:06:02,529
A-ha!
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00:06:02,662 --> 00:06:07,736
Miri, take note. Guide tries to bribe us
but we refuse. We are strong men.
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00:06:08,417 --> 00:06:12,410
We go later.
Now we go see typical American family.
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00:06:17,507 --> 00:06:20,180
-Very interesting.
-I take note.
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00:06:23,262 --> 00:06:25,856
Mrs. Addams,
you have a very interesting house here.
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00:06:26,056 --> 00:06:28,524
I have seen nothing like it before
in America.
94
00:06:28,975 --> 00:06:31,535
Well, it's nothing out of the ordinary,
but we like it.
95
00:06:31,728 --> 00:06:34,196
MORTlClA: And I'm so glad
you gentlemen could come.
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00:06:35,522 --> 00:06:37,080
You've brightened our day immensely.
97
00:06:37,232 --> 00:06:39,143
Harris, it was very nice of you
to bring them here.
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00:06:39,317 --> 00:06:42,627
-Well, it wasn't my idea...
-He was very eager for us to meet
99
00:06:42,862 --> 00:06:45,854
average American family,
is not so, Mr. Harris?
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00:06:46,073 --> 00:06:49,702
I keep telling you! The Addams are not
an average family at all.
101
00:06:49,993 --> 00:06:53,224
-How sweet.
-Don't be turning our heads with flattery.
102
00:06:55,039 --> 00:06:56,757
I do wish I'd known you were coming.
103
00:06:56,915 --> 00:06:58,906
I could've planned some sort
of amusement.
104
00:06:59,084 --> 00:07:03,441
Oh, no, please. We wish
to observe everyday routine. Agreed?
105
00:07:03,712 --> 00:07:05,270
MORTlClA: Whatever you wish.
106
00:07:06,757 --> 00:07:07,746
Psst.
107
00:07:07,883 --> 00:07:10,192
Our house is your house, gentlemen.
108
00:07:12,970 --> 00:07:17,361
Mr. Haan, may I offer you a cigar?
Here, have one.
109
00:07:19,684 --> 00:07:21,402
I will save for later.
110
00:07:22,853 --> 00:07:24,923
Let's join the conversation.
111
00:07:26,273 --> 00:07:27,308
Psst.
112
00:07:30,485 --> 00:07:32,123
Mr. Haan, sit down.
113
00:07:34,863 --> 00:07:38,333
-Miri Haan, you're smoking.
-Oh, no, I save for later.
114
00:07:42,912 --> 00:07:44,265
Mr. Haan, I'm terribly sorry.
115
00:07:44,413 --> 00:07:46,927
I should've warned you it was a live cigar.
116
00:07:47,123 --> 00:07:49,079
I begged you not to come here
in the first place.
117
00:07:49,250 --> 00:07:51,400
Well, gentlemen,
we'd better be running along.
118
00:07:51,585 --> 00:07:52,859
I'm sure you've seen enough.
119
00:07:53,003 --> 00:07:56,040
-And I think...
-We send this back home to laboratory.
120
00:08:00,176 --> 00:08:03,566
I had no idea it was so late.
If you gentlemen will excuse me,
121
00:08:03,804 --> 00:08:05,999
it's time to go feed my plants.
122
00:08:06,681 --> 00:08:09,673
Yes, they get pretty cranky
when they're hungry.
123
00:08:09,976 --> 00:08:12,729
Plants? Plants get hungry?
124
00:08:13,353 --> 00:08:14,502
Cranky?
125
00:08:15,939 --> 00:08:18,373
Well, after all, they're only human.
126
00:08:22,528 --> 00:08:24,519
I'm quite proud
of Mrs. Addams' hothouse.
127
00:08:24,696 --> 00:08:27,415
She's raised these plants from tiny weeds.
128
00:08:29,033 --> 00:08:30,671
Darling, would you?
129
00:08:33,871 --> 00:08:36,704
Gardening is all a matter
of proper feeding.
130
00:08:37,207 --> 00:08:39,437
And these plants just love meat.
131
00:08:40,459 --> 00:08:42,370
-Meat?
-Especially when it's medium rare.
132
00:08:42,544 --> 00:08:44,500
Yes, they're really meat eaters.
I've seen them.
133
00:08:44,671 --> 00:08:47,265
Especially that one.
It's a regular little glutton.
134
00:08:47,465 --> 00:08:49,660
Oh, no, no, no. Cleopatra, really.
135
00:08:50,468 --> 00:08:52,902
Mr. Harris was only joking, darling.
136
00:08:54,012 --> 00:08:57,402
She's really a sweet little thing.
She's terribly young.
137
00:08:58,266 --> 00:09:01,144
Not very S-M-A-R-T.
138
00:09:01,560 --> 00:09:03,118
But she's learning.
139
00:09:03,270 --> 00:09:04,988
Open up, sweetheart.
140
00:09:06,356 --> 00:09:07,425
Have some more. There.
141
00:09:09,150 --> 00:09:10,344
Yes.
142
00:09:12,361 --> 00:09:14,955
This is plant, not animal?
143
00:09:15,780 --> 00:09:19,216
-And it is learning?
-She's quite slow, actually.
144
00:09:19,533 --> 00:09:23,048
She's three years old
and she can't even feed herself yet.
145
00:09:23,578 --> 00:09:25,296
Open up, sweetheart.
146
00:09:25,497 --> 00:09:26,816
Excuse me.
147
00:09:31,877 --> 00:09:35,074
-This is big thing we have discovered. Big.
-Very big.
148
00:09:35,713 --> 00:09:39,342
They've learnt to breed plants
that have the intelligence of humans.
149
00:09:39,592 --> 00:09:42,504
And a mere woman has done this.
An American woman.
150
00:09:42,719 --> 00:09:45,233
Perhaps they have gone further than this?
151
00:09:46,472 --> 00:09:49,305
And Harris thought he could hide this
from us.
152
00:09:49,517 --> 00:09:53,032
It's all right. We will learn the truth.
Take notes, Miri Haan. Plenty notes.
153
00:09:53,270 --> 00:09:54,988
Plenty notes. Plenty notes.
154
00:09:57,273 --> 00:09:58,672
The mail's in.
155
00:10:03,486 --> 00:10:05,044
Thank you, Thing.
156
00:10:07,156 --> 00:10:09,795
-What is that?
-Just your imagination.
157
00:10:10,325 --> 00:10:13,442
Don't let him pull your leg.
Thing is as real as any of us.
158
00:10:13,828 --> 00:10:16,262
Thing, come up and meet our guests.
159
00:10:31,885 --> 00:10:33,034
Thing.
160
00:10:34,512 --> 00:10:38,425
Now, now. Dear Thing,
he doesn't know his own strength.
161
00:10:40,392 --> 00:10:43,748
-Anything exciting in the mail, dear?
-Oh yes, lots of bills.
162
00:10:43,978 --> 00:10:46,446
Wonderful. Will you excuse us, please?
163
00:10:49,066 --> 00:10:50,465
Is it real?
164
00:10:51,234 --> 00:10:53,794
Muscle and bone, with a grip like iron.
165
00:10:54,570 --> 00:10:57,767
They have made this.
A hand, a single hand by itself.
166
00:11:06,330 --> 00:11:09,925
-lt likes privacy.
-This is fantastic. Take notes, Miri Haan.
167
00:11:10,250 --> 00:11:11,569
Take notes.
168
00:11:12,711 --> 00:11:16,340
American family has taken first step
towards building robots.
169
00:11:16,881 --> 00:11:19,634
First a plant that moves and thinks
170
00:11:20,258 --> 00:11:23,409
and then a hand of flesh and blood.
This is big.
171
00:11:23,970 --> 00:11:26,120
-Very big.
-Bigger than big.
172
00:11:27,431 --> 00:11:30,150
I write everything down. Everything.
173
00:11:48,532 --> 00:11:50,170
Beautiful wreck, isn't it?
174
00:11:50,325 --> 00:11:52,634
-Beautiful wreck?
-Beautiful wreck?
175
00:11:53,328 --> 00:11:56,240
Hello, I didn't know
you were having company.
176
00:11:56,455 --> 00:12:00,050
This is our Uncle Fester.
This is Mr. Klarpe and Mr. Haan.
177
00:12:00,292 --> 00:12:02,806
-Of course, you know Mr. Harris.
-Howdy.
178
00:12:03,044 --> 00:12:05,717
-I guess this'll have to wait.
-What'll wait, old boy?
179
00:12:05,921 --> 00:12:10,073
Well, I was feeling a little run down
and I just wanted to get myself recharged.
180
00:12:10,717 --> 00:12:12,469
-Recharged?
-Recharged?
181
00:12:13,011 --> 00:12:16,242
-It's just an expression.
-This is an expression, too?
182
00:12:17,890 --> 00:12:21,769
Oh, no, this is a great little pepper-upper.
Would you like to see it work?
183
00:12:22,268 --> 00:12:24,862
Uncle Fester, I'm sure these gentlemen
wouldn't be interested.
184
00:12:25,062 --> 00:12:26,177
No.
185
00:12:26,313 --> 00:12:29,032
We'd be very interested.
186
00:12:29,900 --> 00:12:33,017
Good. Well, you'll have to crank it, Gomez.
187
00:12:33,528 --> 00:12:36,964
-He's such an exhibitionist.
-FESTER: Oh, no. I really am run down.
188
00:12:37,239 --> 00:12:39,628
It's just a simple little treatment
to build up his energy.
189
00:12:39,824 --> 00:12:42,622
Yes, well, you see,
I put this little wire in my ear.
190
00:12:46,872 --> 00:12:50,103
This little generator does the rest.
Go ahead, Gomez.
191
00:12:59,382 --> 00:13:02,135
-He really gets a charge out of this.
-Write, write.
192
00:13:03,761 --> 00:13:06,150
You mean he is full of electricity?
193
00:13:06,889 --> 00:13:09,357
Believe me, believe me,
they're just playing a little joke on you.
194
00:13:09,557 --> 00:13:11,070
It's a joke, huh? Touch.
195
00:13:13,602 --> 00:13:15,194
-That's a funny joke.
-Write! Write!
196
00:13:15,354 --> 00:13:16,753
I'm writing, I'm writing right now.
197
00:13:16,939 --> 00:13:18,497
Stop! Stop!
198
00:13:19,149 --> 00:13:20,423
Stop it.
199
00:13:23,194 --> 00:13:25,389
I'm sorry, Harris, but he did warn you.
200
00:13:25,571 --> 00:13:28,324
It'll tingle for a while
but then it'll wear off.
201
00:13:28,823 --> 00:13:31,815
I feel so good now,
I'm gonna go out and chase automobiles.
202
00:13:32,034 --> 00:13:33,592
Wonderful hobby.
203
00:13:34,203 --> 00:13:36,080
Stay away from water, Uncle Fester.
204
00:13:36,246 --> 00:13:38,396
The last time he was recharged
he took a shower
205
00:13:38,581 --> 00:13:41,049
and blew out every fuse in the house.
206
00:13:42,793 --> 00:13:45,865
-Americans, in order to get energy...
-Energy.
207
00:13:46,171 --> 00:13:48,287
-...put electricity in ear.
-Ear.
208
00:13:48,465 --> 00:13:50,456
-Like vitamins in stomach...
-Stomach.
209
00:13:50,633 --> 00:13:52,942
-...which we invented.
-Which we invented.
210
00:13:53,802 --> 00:13:54,837
That reminds me,
211
00:13:54,970 --> 00:13:56,767
would you gentlemen care
to join us in a snack?
212
00:13:56,930 --> 00:13:58,966
-Oh, no, no, really.
-We stay.
213
00:14:00,391 --> 00:14:03,144
-We stay.
-Excellent. I'll ring for Lurch.
214
00:14:04,478 --> 00:14:07,868
-This Lurch, is he servant?
-Yes, he's our butler.
215
00:14:08,231 --> 00:14:10,301
Finally, we are
to meet downtrodden member
216
00:14:10,483 --> 00:14:11,996
of the American slave class.
217
00:14:12,151 --> 00:14:14,460
Poor, weak victim of exploitation.
218
00:14:16,821 --> 00:14:18,140
It is strong bell.
219
00:14:19,157 --> 00:14:20,385
You rang?
220
00:14:22,284 --> 00:14:25,356
Lunch, Lurch.
And, oh, yes, Lurch, a cigar, please.
221
00:14:34,086 --> 00:14:35,678
Thank you, Lurch.
222
00:14:37,255 --> 00:14:39,689
Would you gentlemen care for a cigar?
223
00:14:41,092 --> 00:14:43,401
-Oh, no, no, no.
-No, no, thank you.
224
00:14:47,639 --> 00:14:50,676
Well, if you'll excuse me,
I'll get Mrs. Addams.
225
00:14:53,227 --> 00:14:54,785
Thank you, Lurch.
226
00:15:02,484 --> 00:15:04,395
That is poor, weak slave?
227
00:15:05,320 --> 00:15:07,550
-Miri Haan, take note.
-Take note.
228
00:15:08,990 --> 00:15:12,346
-Servant of typical American family, robot.
-Robot.
229
00:15:12,993 --> 00:15:15,143
-Wait a minute, that's not true.
-ls true.
230
00:15:15,328 --> 00:15:18,047
-Third stage.
-Third stage? What are you talking about?
231
00:15:18,247 --> 00:15:21,842
Simple. First stage plant,
second stage hand,
232
00:15:22,543 --> 00:15:26,138
final product human robot.
Flood labor market.
233
00:15:26,546 --> 00:15:30,459
-Flood labor market.
-This is ridiculous. Lurch is no robot.
234
00:15:31,008 --> 00:15:33,238
-Then what is he?
-Well, he's a...
235
00:15:35,220 --> 00:15:37,814
I don't know exactly,
but you'll never find another one like it.
236
00:15:38,014 --> 00:15:40,244
How could be? Is typical American family.
237
00:15:40,432 --> 00:15:43,390
Typical! I keep telling you.
It's the only one of its kind.
238
00:15:43,602 --> 00:15:47,117
-Please, let's get out of here.
-Still trying to hide from us truth.
239
00:15:47,980 --> 00:15:50,938
You still trying
to pull bourgeois wool over our eyes.
240
00:15:59,740 --> 00:16:02,459
I do hope
you gentlemen enjoyed our modest table.
241
00:16:02,784 --> 00:16:06,299
Was very good. Most thoughtful of you
to serve caviar in our honor.
242
00:16:06,537 --> 00:16:09,609
-Caviar?
-The black fish eggs on toast.
243
00:16:10,124 --> 00:16:11,193
Very good.
244
00:16:11,333 --> 00:16:13,801
Oh, you mean eye of tadpole?
245
00:16:15,712 --> 00:16:17,191
Eye of tadpole?
246
00:16:17,797 --> 00:16:21,107
Blue-eyed tadpole is even tastier
than black-eyed tadpole
247
00:16:21,341 --> 00:16:23,696
but it's off-season for blue-eyed tadpole.
248
00:16:24,594 --> 00:16:28,223
Beef is good, too.
Not as good as in our country, but is good.
249
00:16:28,472 --> 00:16:32,260
Mr. Haan, that wasn't beef.
That's breast of alligator.
250
00:16:32,809 --> 00:16:34,083
Alligator?
251
00:16:35,853 --> 00:16:38,765
How about that henbane sauce?
Specialty of the house.
252
00:16:39,648 --> 00:16:42,242
Shall we repair
to the living-room, gentlemen?
253
00:16:43,401 --> 00:16:45,073
-You have been marvelous hostess.
-Thank you.
254
00:16:45,236 --> 00:16:46,351
-Very nice.
-Very nice.
255
00:16:46,487 --> 00:16:47,761
No sense in wasting this.
256
00:16:47,905 --> 00:16:50,214
Tristan and lsolde love alligator.
257
00:16:56,329 --> 00:16:58,365
Told you. Care to make a wish?
258
00:17:29,773 --> 00:17:31,809
Mother, I finished my...
259
00:17:31,983 --> 00:17:33,211
Oh. Company.
260
00:17:33,818 --> 00:17:36,332
Gentlemen, this is our son, Pugsley.
261
00:17:38,530 --> 00:17:41,761
Now, young man, what brought you racing
in here so unceremoniously?
262
00:17:41,992 --> 00:17:45,029
-I've finished my disintegrator gun.
-Well, that's nice, dear.
263
00:17:45,244 --> 00:17:48,202
-Run outside and play.
-Would you like to see it work, sir?
264
00:17:48,414 --> 00:17:50,450
I'm sure these gentlemen
have no time to...
265
00:17:50,624 --> 00:17:53,582
No, no, no.
Let's not disappoint the little fellow.
266
00:17:55,044 --> 00:17:57,956
-So you build disintegrator gun, eh?
-That's right.
267
00:17:58,672 --> 00:18:01,266
You mean you point disintegrator
at something,
268
00:18:01,549 --> 00:18:03,904
pull trigger,
and that something disappear?
269
00:18:04,260 --> 00:18:06,171
That's right, sir. Watch.
270
00:18:16,770 --> 00:18:19,648
You mean you just point it...
271
00:18:29,990 --> 00:18:32,948
I think you'd better play with this outside,
Pugsley.
272
00:18:33,159 --> 00:18:35,878
-It's rather hard on the bric-a-brac.
-Yes, Father.
273
00:18:36,453 --> 00:18:38,364
Nice to have met you, sir.
274
00:18:40,707 --> 00:18:43,744
Poor Mr. Harris. Little things upset him so.
275
00:18:45,169 --> 00:18:47,888
Very high-strung.
I'll have Lurch take care of him.
276
00:18:52,216 --> 00:18:53,285
You rang?
277
00:18:53,426 --> 00:18:56,099
Yes. Lurch, would you take Mr. Harris
to the guest room?
278
00:18:56,303 --> 00:18:58,100
He needs a bit of rest.
279
00:19:01,015 --> 00:19:03,324
Oh, please, I don't
need anything, l...
280
00:19:03,517 --> 00:19:05,109
Come.
281
00:19:10,023 --> 00:19:11,581
Very hospitable.
282
00:19:12,483 --> 00:19:14,041
Never mind that.
283
00:19:15,778 --> 00:19:18,895
The little fellow,
he made that gun himself?
284
00:19:19,906 --> 00:19:22,295
He just can't keep out of mischief.
285
00:19:23,284 --> 00:19:25,161
Remember the anti-gravity machine
he made,
286
00:19:25,327 --> 00:19:27,682
and what happened when he turned it
on the postman?
287
00:19:27,871 --> 00:19:29,782
Oh, yes, that was amusing.
288
00:19:29,956 --> 00:19:32,948
The mailman just went floating off
up in the air.
289
00:19:34,126 --> 00:19:35,798
He really hated to come down.
290
00:19:35,961 --> 00:19:39,351
He said the floating
was so much easier on his feet.
291
00:19:43,175 --> 00:19:44,733
He needs to rest.
292
00:19:46,970 --> 00:19:50,599
Well, be my guest.
I just had the whole thing sharpened.
293
00:19:50,848 --> 00:19:54,921
-Oh, no, no.
-Or maybe you'd prefer the iron maiden?
294
00:19:56,270 --> 00:19:59,979
These spikes will help you keep nice
and still. It's very restful.
295
00:20:00,231 --> 00:20:02,950
I don't need any rest, I'm fine.
Please just put me down.
296
00:20:03,526 --> 00:20:05,881
All right. That'll be all, Lurch.
297
00:20:10,573 --> 00:20:14,168
You know, Mr. Harris,
there is an art in relaxing.
298
00:20:14,451 --> 00:20:18,000
Well, I'll never master it in this menagerie.
I almost got wiped out by a ray gun.
299
00:20:19,664 --> 00:20:24,454
That Pugsley. Such a showoff.
That's how we lost Cousin Creep.
300
00:20:25,460 --> 00:20:27,815
There he was, giggling and laughing
301
00:20:28,004 --> 00:20:31,474
and suddenly there he wasn't,
still giggling and laughing.
302
00:20:31,716 --> 00:20:33,388
It was kind of eerie.
303
00:20:33,550 --> 00:20:36,622
But that was old Creepy.
He could always take a joke.
304
00:20:36,845 --> 00:20:37,914
Well...
305
00:20:38,054 --> 00:20:39,931
The impression those two men
are getting in this house,
306
00:20:40,098 --> 00:20:42,407
it could disrupt international relations.
307
00:20:42,600 --> 00:20:45,273
I did think they were getting a little bored.
308
00:20:45,477 --> 00:20:49,789
What if I was to go in and do some
parlor trick? I can saw a woman in half.
309
00:20:50,064 --> 00:20:51,941
-Oh, no, no, no.
-Oh, yes. It goes...
310
00:20:56,528 --> 00:20:59,804
The only trouble
I have is getting her together again.
311
00:21:04,409 --> 00:21:06,001
Very strange man.
312
00:21:13,500 --> 00:21:15,058
That is restful.
313
00:21:17,045 --> 00:21:20,117
I'm very worried.
This is not what we expected.
314
00:21:20,548 --> 00:21:23,301
How can you expect
what is so unexpected?
315
00:21:24,217 --> 00:21:26,128
We thought
average Americans were fools.
316
00:21:26,303 --> 00:21:28,498
Now we learn they are geniuses.
317
00:21:28,679 --> 00:21:31,796
-MlRl: Dangerous geniuses.
-Electricity and eerie robots.
318
00:21:32,224 --> 00:21:34,215
Ray guns built by little boys already.
319
00:21:34,393 --> 00:21:38,625
I will make full report. From now on,
we must learn to respect all Americans.
320
00:21:40,606 --> 00:21:43,166
Is not safe to offend these people.
Is not safe.
321
00:21:43,358 --> 00:21:45,588
Rather be friend than meet end.
322
00:21:46,611 --> 00:21:49,364
Well, gentlemen, have you found out all
you want to know
323
00:21:49,572 --> 00:21:52,245
-about us typical Americans?
-We have.
324
00:21:52,449 --> 00:21:54,679
Though you try hard
to keep us from learning truth.
325
00:21:54,868 --> 00:21:56,779
I was just doing my duty.
326
00:21:57,412 --> 00:22:01,007
-Now we say goodbye to our hosts.
-Oh, yes, let's get moving.
327
00:22:04,167 --> 00:22:07,523
-I just made $100,000.
-Really? How nice.
328
00:22:08,254 --> 00:22:09,926
Oops, just lost it again.
329
00:22:11,840 --> 00:22:13,193
C'est la guerre.
330
00:22:15,051 --> 00:22:18,123
Tish, when you speak French
you drive me wild.
331
00:22:25,560 --> 00:22:27,357
Excuse me, gentlemen.
332
00:22:28,729 --> 00:22:30,959
Gomez, darling, control yourself.
333
00:22:32,482 --> 00:22:35,235
I think perhaps we better leave.
334
00:22:35,944 --> 00:22:37,457
Very thoughtful.
335
00:22:38,529 --> 00:22:41,601
We wish to thank you
for a most enlightening day.
336
00:22:43,074 --> 00:22:45,110
You've brightened our day, too.
337
00:22:45,285 --> 00:22:48,118
We were about to settle down
to our everyday routine.
338
00:22:49,079 --> 00:22:50,114
No notes.
339
00:22:50,748 --> 00:22:52,659
-Good night.
-Good night.
340
00:22:53,124 --> 00:22:54,796
-Good night.
-Good night.
341
00:22:55,418 --> 00:22:59,093
You know, darling, I've been thinking.
The simple life is really the best.
342
00:22:59,338 --> 00:23:00,771
You're right.
343
00:23:07,511 --> 00:23:10,230
Uncle Fester, are you sure
this'll help you get rid of your headache?
344
00:23:10,431 --> 00:23:11,750
Keep going.
345
00:23:17,812 --> 00:23:20,690
-That's it.
-Good.
346
00:23:31,990 --> 00:23:36,700
Darling, you look so serene and happy
when you're throwing knives.
347
00:23:36,994 --> 00:23:38,427
Family trait.
348
00:23:41,581 --> 00:23:43,139
Thank you, Thing.
349
00:23:45,001 --> 00:23:48,960
Hello, this is Mrs. Addams speaking.
Why, hello, Mr. Harris.
350
00:23:53,550 --> 00:23:56,622
Really? Well, how nice of you to call.
351
00:23:57,386 --> 00:23:58,614
Goodbye.
352
00:23:59,471 --> 00:24:01,905
Gomez, that was that nice Mr. Harris.
353
00:24:02,098 --> 00:24:04,248
He says
our guests have cut their trip short
354
00:24:04,434 --> 00:24:06,823
and have gone home to make a full report.
355
00:24:07,019 --> 00:24:08,771
-Well, that's too bad.
-Oh, no.
356
00:24:08,937 --> 00:24:11,246
Mr. Harris says he's glad they're gone.
357
00:24:11,439 --> 00:24:14,078
He said he overheard them talking
about taking Lurch with them
358
00:24:14,275 --> 00:24:16,152
for scientific purposes.
359
00:24:17,486 --> 00:24:18,999
Scientific purposes.
360
00:24:19,154 --> 00:24:21,349
The things people will do
to get a good servant.
361
00:24:21,531 --> 00:24:23,089
Most ungracious.
362
00:24:24,200 --> 00:24:28,512
Let's not give them another thought.
Back to our own beautiful world.
363
00:24:29,512 --> 00:24:39,512
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