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1
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They're creepy and they're kooky
2
00:00:20,435 --> 00:00:22,348
Mysterious and spooky
3
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They're altogether ooky
4
00:00:24,391 --> 00:00:26,304
The Addams family
5
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The house is a museum
6
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When people come to see 'em
7
00:00:30,478 --> 00:00:32,348
They really are a scream
8
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The Addams family
9
00:00:35,478 --> 00:00:36,478
MAN: Neat.
10
00:00:37,261 --> 00:00:38,304
Sweet.
11
00:00:41,217 --> 00:00:42,261
Petite.
12
00:00:42,348 --> 00:00:44,217
So get a witch 's shawl on
13
00:00:44,304 --> 00:00:46,217
A broomstick you can crawl on
14
00:00:46,304 --> 00:00:48,174
We're gonna pay a call on
15
00:00:48,261 --> 00:00:51,043
The Addams family
16
00:01:14,652 --> 00:01:17,913
-GOM EZ: Caught in the act.
-Gomez, darling, you startled me.
17
00:01:18,130 --> 00:01:19,957
What a thing for a husband to see.
18
00:01:20,043 --> 00:01:22,261
On the day when an old suitor
is coming to visit,
19
00:01:22,348 --> 00:01:25,348
he finds his wife striving to
make herself even more beautiful.
20
00:01:25,435 --> 00:01:30,174
Darling, Lionel Barker was not
an old suitor. He's just a childhood friend.
21
00:01:30,609 --> 00:01:34,783
Yet when you got his Ietter,
your eyes Iit up Iike candles in a cave.
22
00:01:35,130 --> 00:01:37,435
You need be jealous of no one.
23
00:01:37,565 --> 00:01:41,478
I've been yours since that first day
you carved my initials in your Ieg.
24
00:01:41,826 --> 00:01:46,609
And I have been yours since the day I first
saw you riding sidesaddle on a buffalo.
25
00:01:47,217 --> 00:01:48,478
querido.
26
00:01:50,391 --> 00:01:51,652
querida.
27
00:01:52,478 --> 00:01:55,826
Then you don't mind that I plan to ask
Lionel to be our houseguest?
28
00:01:55,957 --> 00:01:58,870
Not at all. I want him to see
what a Iovely home we have.
29
00:01:58,957 --> 00:02:00,870
Would you Iike to see
what I've done with the guest room?
30
00:02:00,957 --> 00:02:03,783
Delighted.
Though it may give me a twinge.
31
00:02:10,261 --> 00:02:14,609
-Charming, absolutely charming.
-I knew you'd be pleased.
32
00:02:16,957 --> 00:02:20,000
How did you ever think
of all these homey Iittle touches?
33
00:02:20,087 --> 00:02:21,478
Just a knack.
34
00:02:22,870 --> 00:02:24,783
Will you Iook at that?
35
00:02:34,130 --> 00:02:38,565
-This mattress, it's harder than ours.
-No mattress, silly.
36
00:02:39,087 --> 00:02:43,609
-Natural wood. Knotty pine.
-Superb.
37
00:02:44,478 --> 00:02:46,696
Do you really think Lionel will Iike it?
38
00:02:46,783 --> 00:02:49,739
If he's a man of taste, and I'm sure he is.
39
00:02:57,130 --> 00:03:01,478
Look, Lionel, you think it's worth it?
Going into that creep joint, I mean.
40
00:03:01,783 --> 00:03:05,609
As I remember this Morticia dame,
she's even spookier than this house.
41
00:03:05,696 --> 00:03:09,913
I know they got dough, Iots of it,
and we need some now.
42
00:03:10,739 --> 00:03:13,783
What're you gonna give them?
That uranium stock spiel?
43
00:03:14,174 --> 00:03:17,348
I have a feeling they're more
the phony oil stock type.
44
00:03:17,826 --> 00:03:21,130
Now, wait here
and keep your fingers crossed, Charlie.
45
00:03:45,783 --> 00:03:48,696
-Yes?
-I...
46
00:03:49,435 --> 00:03:52,522
Mrs. Addams is expecting me.
I'm Lionel Barker.
47
00:03:53,130 --> 00:03:54,609
Follow me.
48
00:04:04,522 --> 00:04:08,261
-You're the butler?
-Lurch, sir.
49
00:04:09,391 --> 00:04:10,478
Lurch.
50
00:04:11,826 --> 00:04:13,174
Pardon me.
51
00:04:13,304 --> 00:04:15,261
-Lionel?
-Morticia!
52
00:04:15,739 --> 00:04:19,739
-Lionel, how good to see you.
-You haven't changed a bit.
53
00:04:19,826 --> 00:04:24,000
-Except that she's married now.
-This is my husband, Gomez Addams.
54
00:04:24,130 --> 00:04:25,826
-Lionel Barker.
-You certainly married
55
00:04:25,913 --> 00:04:27,826
a wonderful girl, Mr. Addams.
56
00:04:27,913 --> 00:04:30,696
Yes, a man so seldom
gets the wife he deserves.
57
00:04:30,783 --> 00:04:33,565
Yeah, yeah.
It's quite a place you have here.
58
00:04:33,957 --> 00:04:35,696
As Iong as you're in town, it's your home.
59
00:04:35,826 --> 00:04:39,739
-Oh, no, really, I couldn't.
-We insist. We'll send for your bags.
60
00:04:39,870 --> 00:04:43,043
They're right outside.
I happened to bring them with me.
61
00:04:43,130 --> 00:04:45,522
How fortunate. Darling.
62
00:04:53,043 --> 00:04:54,261
You rang?
63
00:04:54,870 --> 00:04:59,261
Lurch, Mr. Barker's bags are outside.
PIease take them to the guest room.
64
00:05:00,348 --> 00:05:03,652
Perhaps our Mr. Barker would Iike to
join us in a cup of tea.
65
00:05:03,739 --> 00:05:05,217
That would be marvelous.
66
00:05:05,348 --> 00:05:09,261
And we can chat about those glorious,
gloomy days of our youth.
67
00:05:18,739 --> 00:05:21,522
-Those were the fun days.
-Yes.
68
00:05:22,304 --> 00:05:24,957
Do you remember the first time we met?
69
00:05:25,043 --> 00:05:28,217
I was in the garden,
playing with Hubert and Henery.
70
00:05:28,304 --> 00:05:30,870
And you strolled by, and I asked you in.
71
00:05:30,957 --> 00:05:33,522
And I said I'd come in if you got rid
of Hubert and Henery.
72
00:05:33,609 --> 00:05:35,478
MORTICIA: I never understood why.
73
00:05:36,261 --> 00:05:40,130
-They were such adorable vultures.
-Just not my type, I guess.
74
00:05:41,000 --> 00:05:44,783
Darling, I'm afraid we're
Ieaving you out of the conversation.
75
00:05:44,913 --> 00:05:48,000
You know how it is
when old friends get together.
76
00:05:51,130 --> 00:05:53,609
Excuse me, I have an urgent call to make.
77
00:05:53,696 --> 00:05:56,000
Must you, dear? We'll miss you.
78
00:05:56,652 --> 00:05:59,957
Mr. Barker will be able to amuse you
while I'm gone.
79
00:06:01,435 --> 00:06:04,304
-Hope I didn't upset him.
-Gomez?
80
00:06:05,304 --> 00:06:08,565
Dear Gomez.
There's not a jealous bone in his body.
81
00:06:09,652 --> 00:06:12,870
"You know how it is when
old friends get together."
82
00:06:14,565 --> 00:06:18,391
Wonderful, wonderful. Says we're
gonna have a big storm tomorrow.
83
00:06:19,522 --> 00:06:21,957
Uncle Fester, I'm baring my soul to you,
and you just stand there
84
00:06:22,043 --> 00:06:24,739
casually reading your newspaper,
and Iast year's.
85
00:06:25,391 --> 00:06:27,739
I've been trying to catch up on my reading.
86
00:06:27,826 --> 00:06:30,870
This is the first quiet moment
I've spent in this thing in days.
87
00:06:30,957 --> 00:06:32,696
Mama practically Iives in it.
88
00:06:32,826 --> 00:06:35,000
You know something?
She's getting selfish in her old age.
89
00:06:35,087 --> 00:06:37,870
Fester, what am I going to do
about Lionel?
90
00:06:39,130 --> 00:06:40,652
Who's Lionel?
91
00:06:43,696 --> 00:06:45,087
Lionel?
92
00:06:47,652 --> 00:06:52,130
I really had a case on you in those days.
Even wrote a poem about you.
93
00:06:52,217 --> 00:06:55,391
Yes, a very romantic one,
if I remember correctly.
94
00:06:55,783 --> 00:06:59,130
I've kept it with all my other treasures,
down in the basement.
95
00:06:59,261 --> 00:07:02,652
-Pretty silly stuff, really.
-I don't think so at all.
96
00:07:03,087 --> 00:07:04,391
How did it go again?
97
00:07:04,478 --> 00:07:07,348
LIONEL: "Morticia,
you are the only one for me.
98
00:07:08,435 --> 00:07:11,565
"I know I shall always want you
for my very own."
99
00:07:16,304 --> 00:07:20,391
Can it be true, Uncle Fester? Can she
actually be smitten with this Lionel?
100
00:07:20,478 --> 00:07:22,522
-Who's Lionel?
-Fester.
101
00:07:23,000 --> 00:07:26,783
Oh, that Lionel. Must be.
Just going off riding with him.
102
00:07:26,870 --> 00:07:28,870
I engineered that so we could talk.
103
00:07:28,957 --> 00:07:33,565
Well, still, forgetting to feed her plants.
Poor things, they're nearly starved.
104
00:07:34,522 --> 00:07:36,957
They won't even Iet me feed them.
105
00:07:37,217 --> 00:07:38,739
A hideous how do you do.
106
00:07:38,826 --> 00:07:41,304
-Why don't you throw him out?
-I couldn't.
107
00:07:41,391 --> 00:07:44,217
She would have thought
that I was jealous.
108
00:07:44,522 --> 00:07:46,304
-Are you?
-Of course.
109
00:07:46,652 --> 00:07:50,609
It's gnawing at my insides,
Iike a tiger gnawing at an antelope.
110
00:07:51,957 --> 00:07:53,913
I wish it would stop.
I'm beginning to enjoy it.
111
00:07:54,000 --> 00:07:56,739
Well, you gotta get rid of him somehow.
112
00:08:00,304 --> 00:08:01,739
I have a plan.
113
00:08:01,826 --> 00:08:04,435
We'll make it so uncomfortable for him
that he'll want to Ieave.
114
00:08:04,522 --> 00:08:06,957
-I'll need your help.
-You can count on me.
115
00:08:07,043 --> 00:08:10,174
-First, we rearrange his room.
-Brilliant!
116
00:08:11,391 --> 00:08:14,043
Well, no use Ietting this go to waste.
117
00:08:15,478 --> 00:08:17,870
Why doesn't she cook this for us?
118
00:08:23,522 --> 00:08:26,783
It's horrible, Gomez. Just horrible.
119
00:08:26,913 --> 00:08:30,826
-Yes, we've done a magnificent job.
-It's more than any man could stand.
120
00:08:31,478 --> 00:08:35,652
Lionel is going to run screaming
into the night. Feel this mattress.
121
00:08:36,261 --> 00:08:37,348
Eugh.
122
00:08:37,435 --> 00:08:38,783
Listen to this.
123
00:08:40,565 --> 00:08:42,870
Just Iisten to that awful bird.
124
00:08:44,087 --> 00:08:46,261
I can't stand it. Let's get out of here.
125
00:08:46,348 --> 00:08:50,478
I can't wait till tomorrow morning
at breakfast, just Morticia and me.
126
00:08:50,609 --> 00:08:52,087
No Lionel.
127
00:08:54,348 --> 00:08:57,304
That's the best breakfast I've had in days.
128
00:08:57,696 --> 00:08:59,870
Gomez, darling,
you haven't touched yours.
129
00:08:59,957 --> 00:09:03,826
-I've Iost my appetite.
-I must say, you folks are wonderful hosts.
130
00:09:04,000 --> 00:09:08,174
That room.
That beautiful, soft, downy bed.
131
00:09:08,652 --> 00:09:12,696
And that gorgeous canary singing me
to sleep. And those carnations.
132
00:09:12,783 --> 00:09:14,261
In your room?
133
00:09:16,087 --> 00:09:19,522
-You really Iiked them?
-Loved them.
134
00:09:20,522 --> 00:09:23,957
Well, I must call my business associate.
Excuse me.
135
00:09:24,043 --> 00:09:28,478
By the way, I dabble in stocks
136
00:09:28,565 --> 00:09:31,696
and I might be able to put you
onto something good.
137
00:09:31,826 --> 00:09:34,478
We'll discuss it a Iittle Iater, okay?
138
00:09:36,565 --> 00:09:41,261
Gomez, I don't see how you could have
done such a terrible thing to our guest.
139
00:09:41,870 --> 00:09:44,087
-Yes, I do. You're jealous.
-Me?
140
00:09:46,565 --> 00:09:47,783
Jealous?
141
00:09:49,913 --> 00:09:51,565
That's Iaughable.
142
00:09:54,957 --> 00:09:59,435
No, no, Charlie. I'm not stalling.
I gotta give the guy the buildup.
143
00:10:00,087 --> 00:10:02,652
Just sit tight
and pretty soon we'll split a bundle.
144
00:10:02,739 --> 00:10:04,217
Yeah, bye-bye.
145
00:10:10,522 --> 00:10:14,087
You know, when I'm through here, Gomez,
you ought to stretch out for a while.
146
00:10:14,174 --> 00:10:16,478
-Wonderful picker-upper.
-I don't have time.
147
00:10:16,565 --> 00:10:20,043
We must concoct another scheme
to break up this romance.
148
00:10:20,957 --> 00:10:24,087
I have it. A diversionary tactic.
Another woman.
149
00:10:24,522 --> 00:10:27,478
Oh, that's good. You mean to come
between him and Morticia, huh?
150
00:10:27,565 --> 00:10:31,826
Right. A seductive creature
with an irresistible allure.
151
00:10:32,304 --> 00:10:34,435
Now, where can we find one?
152
00:10:36,652 --> 00:10:40,391
How about Grandmama?
You know, the merry widow.
153
00:10:45,478 --> 00:10:50,087
No, Grandmama prefers taller men.
But she is the type we want.
154
00:10:50,478 --> 00:10:53,217
Maybe we could get
my old sweetheart, Queenie.
155
00:10:53,696 --> 00:10:57,826
No, she'd never Ieave the circus.
Those bearded Iadies make a fortune.
156
00:10:59,000 --> 00:11:01,217
If only he hadn't seen Lurch.
157
00:11:01,522 --> 00:11:04,348
You know, he'd be ideal
in a wig and a dress.
158
00:11:04,435 --> 00:11:07,348
If only Lurch were a maid
instead of a butler.
159
00:11:08,609 --> 00:11:11,087
That's it. A maid.
160
00:11:11,870 --> 00:11:14,435
I'll hire a maid
from an employment agency.
161
00:11:14,522 --> 00:11:17,261
I'll insist on one
who is interested in getting married.
162
00:11:17,348 --> 00:11:18,565
Good.
163
00:11:19,304 --> 00:11:21,261
Right this way, Miss... What is your name?
164
00:11:21,348 --> 00:11:22,826
Mildred, sir.
165
00:11:32,565 --> 00:11:36,870
-Gee, this place is sort of spooky.
-Thank you.
166
00:11:37,391 --> 00:11:40,652
-Now, about your duties...
-Oh, no. I'm not staying.
167
00:11:41,261 --> 00:11:44,348
-I think I can change your mind, miss.
-You don't have that much money.
168
00:11:44,435 --> 00:11:46,478
But I do have a houseguest.
169
00:11:46,565 --> 00:11:50,261
A dashing young bachelor
who would find you most attractive.
170
00:11:51,174 --> 00:11:52,739
A man, sir?
171
00:11:53,217 --> 00:11:55,870
The kind who needs a wife.
In fact, he is seeking one desperately,
172
00:11:55,957 --> 00:11:57,696
and it could be you.
173
00:11:58,174 --> 00:12:03,522
Well, this isn't such a bad place after all.
174
00:12:04,522 --> 00:12:06,652
Your room is right in there.
175
00:12:14,870 --> 00:12:16,739
Well, Uncle Fester, it Iooks Iike
we have a winner.
176
00:12:16,826 --> 00:12:18,174
A knockout.
177
00:12:18,913 --> 00:12:21,609
Those tiny eyes
shining through her glasses.
178
00:12:21,696 --> 00:12:24,391
And did you notice the way
her knees knock together?
179
00:12:24,478 --> 00:12:27,217
Uncle Fester, at your age.
180
00:12:28,261 --> 00:12:30,696
I've still got an eye for beauty.
181
00:12:31,043 --> 00:12:33,652
By tomorrow, Lionel will be her slave.
182
00:12:39,087 --> 00:12:41,913
-Is there anything I could bring you, sir?
-No, no.
183
00:12:42,000 --> 00:12:46,739
-Tea or coffee? Milk? Vegetable juice?
-No, no, no and no.
184
00:12:46,913 --> 00:12:48,304
What's the matter with you, anyway?
185
00:12:48,391 --> 00:12:50,435
You followed me
all over the place Iast night.
186
00:12:50,522 --> 00:12:53,826
When I turned in, I Iooked under the bed
to make sure you weren't there.
187
00:12:53,913 --> 00:12:57,130
-Now there you go again.
-She's not making much progress.
188
00:12:57,217 --> 00:12:58,435
Too shy.
189
00:13:03,217 --> 00:13:05,304
I'll Iight it for you, sir.
190
00:13:08,304 --> 00:13:09,783
That does it.
191
00:13:12,304 --> 00:13:15,478
This girl needs instruction
in the art of Iove from an expert.
192
00:13:15,565 --> 00:13:16,739
You?
193
00:13:17,174 --> 00:13:20,217
In my younger days,
I had women eating out of my hand.
194
00:13:20,304 --> 00:13:22,130
A bit messy, wasn't it?
195
00:13:23,087 --> 00:13:25,435
You're simply too timid.
You've got to move in on him.
196
00:13:25,522 --> 00:13:27,391
-You mean chase him?
-I mean catch him.
197
00:13:27,478 --> 00:13:31,261
Grab him in your arms, Iike this.
And pour out your heart.
198
00:13:32,522 --> 00:13:36,435
No Ionger can I hide my feelings, my Iove.
Give me your Iips.
199
00:13:44,522 --> 00:13:46,652
There, have you got it now?
200
00:13:47,826 --> 00:13:52,739
Where is Lionel? Which way did he go?
Never mind. I'll find him.
201
00:14:06,957 --> 00:14:08,522
Thank you, Thing.
202
00:14:11,130 --> 00:14:14,174
I'm sorry to make
a spectacle of myself, Thing.
203
00:14:14,261 --> 00:14:17,043
But my world has
come down around my ears.
204
00:14:17,870 --> 00:14:19,739
There's another woman.
205
00:14:20,565 --> 00:14:22,478
No, it's true, there is.
206
00:14:23,957 --> 00:14:27,522
I know you can be blase about it.
You've never been married.
207
00:14:28,217 --> 00:14:29,565
Or have you?
208
00:14:30,609 --> 00:14:32,174
I thought not.
209
00:14:33,391 --> 00:14:35,478
Thing, what am I gonna do?
210
00:14:42,348 --> 00:14:44,217
No, no. No violence.
211
00:14:47,609 --> 00:14:50,130
Not even hair-pulling.
212
00:14:51,348 --> 00:14:53,043
Nor eye-scratching.
213
00:14:55,478 --> 00:14:57,261
Thank you, anyway, Thing.
214
00:14:58,565 --> 00:14:59,739
Thing?
215
00:15:00,783 --> 00:15:02,261
Wish me Iuck.
216
00:15:04,739 --> 00:15:06,348
Thank you, Thing.
217
00:15:06,870 --> 00:15:08,696
You're a true friend.
218
00:15:12,435 --> 00:15:14,870
I didn't know you were out here, Morticia.
219
00:15:14,957 --> 00:15:19,522
Uncle Fester, I know why Gomez brought
that woman into this house.
220
00:15:19,609 --> 00:15:23,522
Oh, you do, huh?
Well, so do I, and I think it's a fine idea.
221
00:15:23,696 --> 00:15:26,826
A fine idea? No, no. CIeopatra, no.
222
00:15:27,826 --> 00:15:30,565
I will not condone violence. Down, girl.
223
00:15:32,652 --> 00:15:36,348
I think I'll go upstairs to my room
and Iie down for a while.
224
00:15:42,957 --> 00:15:45,130
I'm going up the back stairs.
225
00:15:47,913 --> 00:15:50,870
You see?
Everything worked out fine, smarty.
226
00:15:54,739 --> 00:15:56,652
You hit me in the nose.
227
00:16:00,870 --> 00:16:04,391
Well, well, well. Checking your stocks,
I see. How're they going?
228
00:16:04,478 --> 00:16:05,957
Up, naturally.
229
00:16:06,565 --> 00:16:10,304
You know, you folks have been
wonderful to me, Gomez.
230
00:16:10,913 --> 00:16:13,913
In fact, I'm very fond of the whole family.
231
00:16:14,043 --> 00:16:18,609
-Especially Morticia, hmm?
-I've always had a warm spot for her.
232
00:16:19,261 --> 00:16:22,348
What I started to say was,
I'm going to do you a big favor.
233
00:16:22,435 --> 00:16:26,957
You see, a pal of mine is the president
of the South Tasmanian Oil Corporation...
234
00:16:27,043 --> 00:16:29,348
If your pal put your money
into South Tasmanian Oil,
235
00:16:29,478 --> 00:16:31,957
you ought to have him boiled in it.
236
00:16:37,957 --> 00:16:42,522
The market is bullish today, Lionel.
I mean, Mr. Barker.
237
00:16:45,130 --> 00:16:46,435
Bullish?
238
00:16:48,522 --> 00:16:51,000
You mean, you really dig this jazz?
239
00:16:51,348 --> 00:16:54,174
Well, I've always
put my money into stocks.
240
00:16:55,913 --> 00:16:58,522
Let's not talk about stocks, Mildred.
241
00:16:59,130 --> 00:17:01,391
Let's talk about you.
242
00:17:02,130 --> 00:17:04,174
-Me?
-Come.
243
00:17:05,087 --> 00:17:09,913
Let me gaze into your big,
beautiful, blue chip... Eyes.
244
00:17:11,826 --> 00:17:13,522
Is something wrong?
245
00:17:14,174 --> 00:17:15,435
Tell me.
246
00:17:15,696 --> 00:17:18,522
I think you know
what's darkened our Iives.
247
00:17:19,174 --> 00:17:20,826
Yes, I fear I do.
248
00:17:21,652 --> 00:17:25,565
The hands that should caress
my Ioving feet now caress the dragon.
249
00:17:25,652 --> 00:17:28,652
But who are you caressing in your mind?
Not me.
250
00:17:28,739 --> 00:17:33,739
Gomez, please Ieave me.
I can't talk now. I must think.
251
00:17:37,174 --> 00:17:42,043
Very well. If that's what you want, I'll go.
I, too, must think.
252
00:17:48,870 --> 00:17:52,870
There is no Ionger any doubt about it.
She's in Iove with Lionel.
253
00:17:53,087 --> 00:17:56,913
-Well, what are you going to do?
-The only decent thing I can do.
254
00:17:57,000 --> 00:18:01,130
Leave this Iife,
and Iet Morticia marry the man she Ioves.
255
00:18:01,217 --> 00:18:04,348
-You mean you're going to kill yourself?
-Of course not.
256
00:18:04,739 --> 00:18:08,696
Suicide is the coward's way out.
I'm going to Iet you kill me.
257
00:18:09,826 --> 00:18:13,609
Me? You're my favorite nephew, Gomez.
258
00:18:14,087 --> 00:18:16,696
You've been nice to me. I Iike you.
259
00:18:18,739 --> 00:18:21,696
AII I ask is one small favor. Shoot me.
260
00:18:23,435 --> 00:18:26,261
Well, if I refuse, I'd be an ingrate.
261
00:18:27,913 --> 00:18:31,435
-AII right, stand over by the wall.
-Thank you, Uncle Fester.
262
00:18:31,522 --> 00:18:33,261
You're a true friend.
263
00:18:40,261 --> 00:18:41,435
Ready.
264
00:18:43,826 --> 00:18:45,913
Aim. Fire.
265
00:18:51,609 --> 00:18:55,348
I would Iike to be shot, Uncle Fester,
not drowned.
266
00:18:59,304 --> 00:19:02,609
I'm sorry, this must be
one of the children's guns.
267
00:19:09,261 --> 00:19:13,739
-But I'll do better next time.
-You must. It's the only bullet we have.
268
00:19:16,304 --> 00:19:18,087
Now, close your eyes.
269
00:19:33,739 --> 00:19:37,130
Lurch, I hope you're a better hangman
than Uncle Fester was a marksman.
270
00:19:38,391 --> 00:19:41,652
It's my rope, isn't it, Gomez?
I furnished the rope.
271
00:19:45,087 --> 00:19:46,957
That's a bit scratchy.
272
00:19:54,696 --> 00:19:55,870
Better, sir?
273
00:19:55,957 --> 00:19:58,913
That's fine. Thank you, Lurch.
Very comfortable.
274
00:19:59,000 --> 00:20:02,783
Would you throw the other end of the rope
up over the rafter?
275
00:20:03,870 --> 00:20:06,087
No, no, wait a minute. It's my rope. I can...
276
00:20:06,217 --> 00:20:09,087
AII I have to do is just
throw it up over this rafter Iike this.
277
00:20:16,783 --> 00:20:19,217
What's the matter with that thing?
278
00:20:31,478 --> 00:20:35,609
Uncle Fester, do you recall
where you got that rope years ago?
279
00:20:36,087 --> 00:20:38,522
Sure, don't you remember?
I got it from an old friend of mine,
280
00:20:38,609 --> 00:20:40,913
Raj Maja, the Indian fakir.
281
00:20:41,391 --> 00:20:45,043
Yeah, he used to throw it up in the air,
then he'd climb...
282
00:20:48,043 --> 00:20:50,000
Still works, doesn't it?
283
00:20:50,870 --> 00:20:54,130
It's no use, Lurch.
Apparently, I am doomed to Iive.
284
00:20:54,739 --> 00:20:56,130
Sorry, sir.
285
00:21:15,391 --> 00:21:16,652
You rang?
286
00:21:22,217 --> 00:21:25,261
Gad, she's Iovely.
How could I Iive without her?
287
00:21:25,435 --> 00:21:26,783
Yet I must.
288
00:21:31,913 --> 00:21:35,000
-Morticia, I must speak to you.
-And I to you.
289
00:21:36,000 --> 00:21:39,304
Gomez, we've had
a Iong and happy marriage.
290
00:21:41,130 --> 00:21:45,174
Yes, we have, indeed.
Our Iife together has been filled with joy.
291
00:21:45,522 --> 00:21:46,913
Until now.
292
00:21:47,783 --> 00:21:51,522
I've heard of other marriages,
where someone new has come along...
293
00:21:51,609 --> 00:21:53,435
And Iove grew cold.
294
00:21:54,130 --> 00:21:57,217
And husband and wife have
come to the parting of the ways.
295
00:21:57,261 --> 00:22:01,304
We have come to the parting of the ways,
Gomez. Our hour has struck.
296
00:22:04,130 --> 00:22:06,435
We've gotta do something, Lurch.
297
00:22:06,957 --> 00:22:09,000
Soothing music?
298
00:22:10,391 --> 00:22:12,174
To the harpsichord.
299
00:22:14,435 --> 00:22:17,783
-What will be, will be. I have no regrets.
-Nor do I.
300
00:22:30,130 --> 00:22:34,217
-AII I want is your happiness.
-My only wish is to make you happy.
301
00:22:38,913 --> 00:22:42,609
Now that you're in Iove
with someone else, I'll step aside.
302
00:22:43,304 --> 00:22:46,870
Though my heart is breaking,
I'll freely give you up,
303
00:22:46,957 --> 00:22:49,348
-so you can go away with Mildred.
-So you can go away with Lionel.
304
00:22:51,348 --> 00:22:52,522
-Mildred?
-Lionel?
305
00:22:52,609 --> 00:22:54,217
Somebody call us?
306
00:22:56,304 --> 00:22:57,739
I don't want Mildred.
307
00:22:57,826 --> 00:23:01,000
-I thought you were in Iove...
-With Lionel? Me?
308
00:23:02,217 --> 00:23:04,565
-querido.
-querida.
309
00:23:06,391 --> 00:23:08,043
We just dropped in to give you
the good news.
310
00:23:08,130 --> 00:23:10,348
We're off on our honeymoon.
311
00:23:10,435 --> 00:23:12,478
-Honeymoon?
-You're married?
312
00:23:12,609 --> 00:23:15,000
About an hour ago. At City Hall.
313
00:23:15,261 --> 00:23:17,391
-Congratulations.
-That's wonderful.
314
00:23:17,478 --> 00:23:19,217
Well, Iet's go, baby.
315
00:23:19,304 --> 00:23:23,000
-Gomez, I'm so happy for them.
-I'm even happier for us.
316
00:23:23,087 --> 00:23:26,217
If I wasn't such a rotten shot,
you wouldn't be here, would you?
317
00:23:26,304 --> 00:23:27,652
What's this?
318
00:23:27,739 --> 00:23:30,522
I nearly did an
impulsive thing, my dear.
319
00:23:30,609 --> 00:23:33,565
But my guardian spirit
was Iooking after me.
320
00:23:34,565 --> 00:23:39,696
-Somebody down there Iikes me.
-Somebody up here Iikes you, too,
321
00:23:40,522 --> 00:23:41,739
bubele.
322
00:23:56,000 --> 00:23:57,174
There.
323
00:23:59,261 --> 00:24:01,391
"When the blazing sun has turned to mud
324
00:24:01,478 --> 00:24:03,304
"and the moon Iies dead in a pool of blood,
325
00:24:03,435 --> 00:24:05,391
"and the tom-tom beat of eternity starts,
326
00:24:05,522 --> 00:24:07,348
"whom will I Iove in my heart of hearts?
327
00:24:07,435 --> 00:24:08,739
"Morticia."
328
00:24:10,261 --> 00:24:12,261
Gomez, that's beautiful.
329
00:24:15,261 --> 00:24:17,565
And it's such a perfect night for poetry.
330
00:24:17,696 --> 00:24:19,304
I just wanted to show you that
331
00:24:19,391 --> 00:24:21,609
Lionel's not the only one
who can write poetry for you.
332
00:24:21,696 --> 00:24:22,739
Oh, Lionel.
333
00:24:22,826 --> 00:24:25,087
He couldn't hold a candle to you.
334
00:24:26,261 --> 00:24:28,261
Perhaps we should Iet him
try it sometime.
335
00:24:28,348 --> 00:24:30,739
Might be a fascinating experience.
336
00:24:30,957 --> 00:24:33,826
-No, he'll be too busy for that.
-Oh?
337
00:24:33,957 --> 00:24:35,522
Working night and day, poor chap.
338
00:24:35,609 --> 00:24:37,913
Those stocks his wife owns,
down to nothing.
339
00:24:38,043 --> 00:24:39,652
Really?
340
00:24:39,739 --> 00:24:43,696
Well, things Iike that don't matter,
not when you marry for Iove.
341
00:24:43,746 --> 00:24:48,296
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