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1
00:00:17,351 --> 00:00:19,353
They're creepy and they're kooky
2
00:00:19,436 --> 00:00:21,396
Mysterious and spooky
3
00:00:21,480 --> 00:00:23,357
They're altogether ooky
4
00:00:23,440 --> 00:00:25,400
The Addams family
5
00:00:25,484 --> 00:00:27,361
The house is a museum
6
00:00:27,444 --> 00:00:29,404
When people come to see 'em
7
00:00:29,488 --> 00:00:31,323
They really are a scream
8
00:00:31,406 --> 00:00:33,242
The Addams family
9
00:00:34,535 --> 00:00:35,702
MAN: Neat.
10
00:00:36,286 --> 00:00:37,454
Sweet.
11
00:00:40,249 --> 00:00:41,333
Petite.
12
00:00:41,416 --> 00:00:43,293
So get a witch 's shawl on
13
00:00:43,377 --> 00:00:45,254
A broomstick you can crawl on
14
00:00:45,337 --> 00:00:47,256
We're gonna pay a call on
15
00:00:47,339 --> 00:00:50,092
The Addams family
16
00:01:05,983 --> 00:01:09,236
I had no idea Cousin Bleak
was such a difficult subject.
17
00:01:09,319 --> 00:01:12,865
You're painting him from memory
and it's a magnificent likeness.
18
00:01:13,240 --> 00:01:15,951
- Superb!
- Thank you, darling.
19
00:01:17,327 --> 00:01:20,873
There's something about the eyes,
I just can't seem to get them.
20
00:01:21,081 --> 00:01:23,667
That lid droops just a bit too much.
21
00:01:23,834 --> 00:01:26,378
- The right eye or the left?
- The middle one.
22
00:01:30,841 --> 00:01:31,925
Perfect.
23
00:01:32,509 --> 00:01:34,720
That's the look that used to get the girls.
24
00:01:37,306 --> 00:01:41,393
Darling, the children are going to be late
for their birthday party.
25
00:01:41,476 --> 00:01:43,187
Would you ring for Lurch?
26
00:01:48,984 --> 00:01:51,361
- You rang?
- Yes, Lurch.
27
00:01:51,486 --> 00:01:53,655
Would you get the children, please?
28
00:01:55,824 --> 00:01:57,910
WEDNESDAY: We're coming!
PUGSLEY: We're coming!
29
00:02:01,705 --> 00:02:05,667
- Oh, what's that, darling?
- Harold's birthday present. A tarantula.
30
00:02:06,752 --> 00:02:09,296
Oh, dear Pugsley. He's so generous.
31
00:02:09,379 --> 00:02:11,798
That old Addams tradition, a heart of gold.
32
00:02:11,882 --> 00:02:15,010
Well, we'll have to have it gift-wrapped.
Let's see now.
33
00:02:15,093 --> 00:02:17,888
A birthday present. Festive occasion.
34
00:02:18,639 --> 00:02:22,351
- I think black would be appropriate.
- Black it is, my dear.
35
00:02:24,102 --> 00:02:27,564
Here, darling, let me do that.
You're all thumbs.
36
00:02:28,899 --> 00:02:30,776
Wouldn't that be interesting?
37
00:02:32,945 --> 00:02:36,114
- Lurch, please take the children to the car.
- LURCH: Yes, madam.
38
00:02:36,281 --> 00:02:37,824
Where are they going?
39
00:02:38,742 --> 00:02:39,952
Whee!
40
00:02:40,786 --> 00:02:42,996
To the Pomeroy boy's birthday party.
41
00:02:43,247 --> 00:02:45,582
You mean those people
with the white picket fence
42
00:02:45,666 --> 00:02:48,335
and the pink geraniums? How could you?
43
00:02:48,502 --> 00:02:52,256
There's something to what he says,
Morticia. They are a bit peculiar.
44
00:02:52,965 --> 00:02:55,592
I bet they've got daisies in their backyard.
45
00:02:55,759 --> 00:02:57,094
Please don't make me ill.
46
00:02:57,177 --> 00:03:00,222
Now, now, now.
We must be tolerant of our neighbors.
47
00:03:04,643 --> 00:03:06,103
Thank you, Thing.
48
00:03:12,067 --> 00:03:13,735
There you are, Pugsley!
49
00:03:14,403 --> 00:03:17,197
GOMEZ: Your mother is still
the world's best tarantula wrapper.
50
00:03:17,281 --> 00:03:20,909
Now remember, children,
not every family is as fortunate as we are.
51
00:03:21,076 --> 00:03:23,871
Not everyone has
a beautiful old house like ours.
52
00:03:24,121 --> 00:03:26,874
And a car with all
the right sounds and smells.
53
00:03:29,042 --> 00:03:31,211
You must be modest
about our advantages.
54
00:03:31,295 --> 00:03:34,006
- We'll be good.
- I know you will, darling.
55
00:03:34,756 --> 00:03:37,176
I'm sure Harold will love his present.
56
00:03:49,104 --> 00:03:51,190
Bye, children! Have a good time.
57
00:03:51,315 --> 00:03:54,610
Pugsley, only five pieces of cake, now!
58
00:03:57,779 --> 00:04:02,451
Well, I guess I'd better go in
and finish knitting my tea cozy.
59
00:04:05,454 --> 00:04:06,622
Morticia,
60
00:04:08,540 --> 00:04:09,875
don't move.
61
00:04:18,425 --> 00:04:21,637
Remember how I carried you
across the threshold that first time?
62
00:04:21,720 --> 00:04:23,722
Not only across the threshold,
63
00:04:23,805 --> 00:04:27,309
but through the living room
and up the stairs and into our room.
64
00:04:27,476 --> 00:04:29,811
And I dropped you only once.
65
00:04:35,776 --> 00:04:38,529
I'll swear these fish seem to know
when you're gonna feed them.
66
00:04:38,612 --> 00:04:41,114
They're a lot more aware
than people give them credit for being.
67
00:04:41,198 --> 00:04:42,574
That's breeding.
68
00:04:53,001 --> 00:04:54,962
There's no waste with piranha.
69
00:04:59,299 --> 00:05:01,844
Darling, I think the children are home.
70
00:05:03,053 --> 00:05:05,681
I wonder what the children
are doing back so soon?
71
00:05:05,764 --> 00:05:06,974
I don't know.
72
00:05:08,767 --> 00:05:11,436
Why are you home
from the party so early?
73
00:05:11,520 --> 00:05:13,897
GOMEZ: What happened?
Was there trouble?
74
00:05:13,981 --> 00:05:16,441
A small altercation.
75
00:05:17,860 --> 00:05:21,446
Harold Pomeroy said his family
was better than our family.
76
00:05:21,864 --> 00:05:24,283
He said we were a bunch of kooks.
77
00:05:25,576 --> 00:05:26,618
Kooks?
78
00:05:29,538 --> 00:05:31,456
Oh, he couldn't have meant it.
79
00:05:31,540 --> 00:05:34,960
Of course not, how could the child fail
to recognize character when he sees it?
80
00:05:35,043 --> 00:05:37,629
I told you the Pomeroys were no good.
81
00:05:37,796 --> 00:05:40,549
With their neat little petunia patches.
Riffraff!
82
00:05:40,632 --> 00:05:43,093
I tell you, they're nothing but riffraff.
83
00:05:43,385 --> 00:05:46,180
Lurch, you better take the children
to their rooms.
84
00:05:46,263 --> 00:05:47,306
LURCH: Yes, madam.
85
00:05:47,389 --> 00:05:51,894
I always did suspect
those white plaster ducks out on the lawn.
86
00:05:52,144 --> 00:05:55,063
Darling, some people
have a twisted sense of beauty.
87
00:05:55,856 --> 00:05:58,984
Rude behavior like that
begins with the parents.
88
00:05:59,443 --> 00:06:01,987
Well, what are you gonna do about it?
Just stand there and take it?
89
00:06:02,070 --> 00:06:05,741
Certainly not. I'm going to send Pomeroy
an insulting letter.
90
00:06:08,869 --> 00:06:12,331
Darling, I don't think we should
lend our name to such a thing.
91
00:06:12,664 --> 00:06:14,666
He could sign it, "A friend."
92
00:06:15,167 --> 00:06:19,546
An insulting letter signed, "A Friend."
That would be novel.
93
00:06:20,339 --> 00:06:22,216
I think we should turn the other cheek.
94
00:06:22,299 --> 00:06:25,677
No, when people insulted me,
I always turned the other cheek.
95
00:06:25,761 --> 00:06:27,888
- Well?
- I ran out of cheeks.
96
00:06:28,305 --> 00:06:30,807
No, there's only one way to settle this.
97
00:06:31,975 --> 00:06:33,185
Uncle Fester!
98
00:06:34,228 --> 00:06:36,813
Uncle Fester, please, not that.
99
00:06:37,147 --> 00:06:41,652
- But, Morticia, the family honor!
- He's right, Morticia, the family honor.
100
00:06:42,277 --> 00:06:44,655
You'll have to challenge Pomeroy
to a duel.
101
00:06:44,738 --> 00:06:46,782
No, I'd rather shoot him in the back.
102
00:06:46,865 --> 00:06:50,160
Uncle Fester,
that is not the honorable way.
103
00:06:50,327 --> 00:06:52,287
I know, but it's the safe way.
104
00:06:52,621 --> 00:06:54,289
Uncle Fester, I'm ashamed of you.
105
00:06:54,373 --> 00:06:57,251
An Addams doesn't know the meaning
of the word fear.
106
00:06:57,334 --> 00:06:59,419
I do. I'll shoot him in the back.
107
00:06:59,795 --> 00:07:02,548
Uncle Fester,
remember the Addams name!
108
00:07:02,631 --> 00:07:04,299
It'll have to be a duel.
109
00:07:05,509 --> 00:07:06,677
With swords?
110
00:07:06,760 --> 00:07:10,806
With victory going to the swiftest,
the cunningest, the deadliest.
111
00:07:11,682 --> 00:07:13,308
I'll shoot him in the back.
112
00:07:13,392 --> 00:07:16,812
- Wait, how about pistols?
- Well, that's different...
113
00:07:18,105 --> 00:07:20,232
- Does he get one, too?
- Naturally.
114
00:07:21,608 --> 00:07:23,777
- Loaded?
- You get one bullet apiece.
115
00:07:24,862 --> 00:07:26,280
In the back.
116
00:07:27,990 --> 00:07:29,616
We have visitors.
117
00:07:30,075 --> 00:07:32,870
It's Mr. Pomeroy. Little Harold is with him.
118
00:07:33,495 --> 00:07:36,790
- See? They've come to make peace.
- I hope not.
119
00:07:39,585 --> 00:07:43,130
I'll handle this. Remember,
you took care of the gas inspector.
120
00:07:43,213 --> 00:07:46,049
Darling, why don't
we handle this together?
121
00:08:00,772 --> 00:08:04,193
- A Pomeroy does not slam gates.
- I didn't slam it, Dad.
122
00:08:04,276 --> 00:08:07,988
- A Pomeroy does not lie, either.
- But, Dad...
123
00:08:08,071 --> 00:08:09,448
Come along.
124
00:08:11,825 --> 00:08:15,162
I'm Cecil B. Pomeroy.
Perhaps you've heard of me.
125
00:08:15,245 --> 00:08:16,371
I'm in oil.
126
00:08:16,747 --> 00:08:18,332
Oh, boiling?
127
00:08:19,333 --> 00:08:22,419
Lubricating. I wouldn't make light of this.
128
00:08:22,503 --> 00:08:24,254
Look at my son Harold.
129
00:08:25,672 --> 00:08:28,091
Fine-Looking boy. Nice eyes.
130
00:08:28,467 --> 00:08:30,344
Well, one of them, anyway.
131
00:08:30,427 --> 00:08:33,680
And that's what your hoodlum offspring
did with his fists.
132
00:08:34,014 --> 00:08:35,891
Our son used his fists?
133
00:08:36,934 --> 00:08:39,186
All those karate lessons wasted!
134
00:08:39,561 --> 00:08:42,022
I'll thank you both to stop joking.
135
00:08:42,105 --> 00:08:45,442
My son has been sorely wounded
and I demand an apology.
136
00:08:45,526 --> 00:08:49,321
Very well, Mr. Pomeroy.
If it'll make you happy, I apologize.
137
00:08:49,821 --> 00:08:52,991
Not from you.
From that pugnacious child of yours.
138
00:08:53,325 --> 00:08:54,785
- Him.
- Children.
139
00:08:56,954 --> 00:09:01,333
I understand, Pugsley, that you and Harold
engaged in a little tiff this afternoon.
140
00:09:01,416 --> 00:09:05,295
- All I did was tear his jacket a little.
- You tore my family crest.
141
00:09:05,379 --> 00:09:07,464
Well, you wouldn't have got a sock
in the eye
142
00:09:07,548 --> 00:09:10,843
if you hadn't said your family was better
than our family.
143
00:09:10,926 --> 00:09:13,470
- Our family is better.
- It is not.
144
00:09:13,595 --> 00:09:16,974
Children, children.
I think you ought to apologize to Harold.
145
00:09:17,558 --> 00:09:20,686
I'm sorry I punched you in the eye, Harold.
146
00:09:26,567 --> 00:09:29,319
She must have hit him
while his back was turned.
147
00:09:29,778 --> 00:09:30,904
In the eye?
148
00:09:32,406 --> 00:09:36,326
I don't know, it's possible.
Remember my Cousin Curdle?
149
00:09:37,202 --> 00:09:40,706
Yes! Well, we're sorry
about the whole mess, Pomeroy.
150
00:09:41,248 --> 00:09:43,792
Yes, won't you come in
and have a cup of tea?
151
00:09:43,876 --> 00:09:46,879
And the children can play together
and forget all about their little spat.
152
00:09:46,962 --> 00:09:48,672
- Well...
- Do come in.
153
00:09:48,755 --> 00:09:51,550
- I'll let you ride my jaguar.
- Can I, Dad?
154
00:09:51,842 --> 00:09:54,511
All right, but stay in the yard.
Don't go into the street.
155
00:09:54,595 --> 00:09:57,556
Oh, we never run the jaguar
out in the street.
156
00:09:57,639 --> 00:09:59,057
Come on, Harold.
157
00:10:04,688 --> 00:10:07,649
I'm so glad we got this thing
straightened out.
158
00:10:08,192 --> 00:10:10,777
Yes, we're not only neighbors
159
00:10:10,861 --> 00:10:14,323
but I find we have some adjoining land
along the county line.
160
00:10:15,407 --> 00:10:16,867
You got stuck, too!
161
00:10:17,618 --> 00:10:21,705
Yes. That doesn't happen
to the Pomeroys usually.
162
00:10:21,788 --> 00:10:23,874
It's one of the things we're proud of.
163
00:10:23,957 --> 00:10:28,337
Matter of fact, we asked Professor Simms
to trace our family genealogy back to...
164
00:10:31,173 --> 00:10:34,092
- Merciful heavens! What was that?
- Pugsley's jaguar.
165
00:10:34,176 --> 00:10:35,469
Pugsley's...
166
00:10:35,677 --> 00:10:38,889
You mean that your child
is having my son ride a wild animal?
167
00:10:38,972 --> 00:10:43,560
Don't worry, when Fang makes that noise,
nobody rides him.
168
00:10:46,522 --> 00:10:50,442
There, you see? They've already found
something else to amuse them.
169
00:10:50,526 --> 00:10:53,195
Nothing like the laughter
of happy children, is there, Pomeroy?
170
00:10:53,278 --> 00:10:56,657
Well, my son has little time for frivolity.
171
00:10:56,740 --> 00:11:00,536
After all, he's being trained to follow
in the family...
172
00:11:02,204 --> 00:11:03,330
Excuse me.
173
00:11:04,832 --> 00:11:05,999
Is that thing real?
174
00:11:06,083 --> 00:11:09,002
Everything in our home is real,
Mr. Pomeroy.
175
00:11:09,086 --> 00:11:10,212
Taste!
176
00:11:11,380 --> 00:11:14,091
There's quite a story
behind that trophy, Pomeroy.
177
00:11:14,174 --> 00:11:16,343
Cousin Farouk was a skin-diver.
178
00:11:16,969 --> 00:11:21,557
He dived out of a rowboat in an attempt
to spear a rare species of eel.
179
00:11:22,140 --> 00:11:28,021
At the same moment a big fish swept up
from the depths, also after the eel.
180
00:11:28,730 --> 00:11:32,568
- They were on a collision course.
- The rest is taxidermy.
181
00:11:36,029 --> 00:11:37,656
HAROLD: I did it! I did it!
182
00:11:37,739 --> 00:11:41,702
Little Pugsley is teaching Harold
how to handle dynamite caps.
183
00:11:42,077 --> 00:11:43,120
Dynamite?
184
00:11:44,371 --> 00:11:45,831
There, you see?
185
00:11:45,914 --> 00:11:48,917
Their little spat of this afternoon
is all forgotten.
186
00:11:49,001 --> 00:11:51,712
We adults could learn a lot
from our children, eh, Pomeroy?
187
00:11:51,795 --> 00:11:54,131
- More tea, Mr. Pomeroy?
- No, thanks.
188
00:11:55,966 --> 00:11:57,176
That thing bit me!
189
00:11:57,259 --> 00:11:59,553
I'm sure you're mistaken, Mr. Pomeroy.
190
00:11:59,887 --> 00:12:02,681
Our birds would never attack living things.
191
00:12:04,641 --> 00:12:08,604
Children, stop playing with that trap door.
Uncle Fester just greased it.
192
00:12:11,273 --> 00:12:12,733
Your trap door?
193
00:12:12,983 --> 00:12:16,236
- In the playroom, for our gallows.
- It's a family heirloom.
194
00:12:17,905 --> 00:12:19,323
- PUGSLEY: We're sorry, Harold!
- Don't be mad, Harold.
195
00:12:19,406 --> 00:12:21,742
We're sorry we dropped him
through the trap door.
196
00:12:21,825 --> 00:12:23,493
Addams, what the devil
have they been doing?
197
00:12:23,577 --> 00:12:25,204
Can't you see? Playing!
198
00:12:27,039 --> 00:12:28,332
POMEROY: Harold!
199
00:12:28,415 --> 00:12:31,877
Addams, I never wanna see
these two little creeps in my home again.
200
00:12:31,960 --> 00:12:36,757
And I promise you that never again
will I set foot in this menagerie.
201
00:12:36,840 --> 00:12:39,885
In that case, sir,
I'll have to ask you to leave.
202
00:12:39,968 --> 00:12:42,429
Ask me? I can hardly wait to get out of...
203
00:12:44,598 --> 00:12:46,975
Lurch, show Mr. Pomeroy out.
204
00:12:55,734 --> 00:12:58,570
Addamses, you are kooks.
205
00:13:09,081 --> 00:13:11,124
Calling our children creeps.
206
00:13:11,208 --> 00:13:15,337
Bawling off about his ancestry,
his professor, his genealogist.
207
00:13:15,420 --> 00:13:18,966
I could have really have stopped him with
a few things about the Addams ancestry!
208
00:13:19,049 --> 00:13:21,718
- Why didn't you?
- I couldn't think of anything.
209
00:13:22,886 --> 00:13:26,098
You're right.
You're right, I should have told him.
210
00:13:26,181 --> 00:13:30,143
But it's been so long
since I've looked into the family records.
211
00:13:30,227 --> 00:13:32,855
Anybody can tell
what kind of a family we are.
212
00:13:33,230 --> 00:13:36,191
But to him, we're peasants.
We need proof.
213
00:13:37,776 --> 00:13:41,405
Proof! And I'll ram it
down Mr. Blowhard's throat.
214
00:13:44,074 --> 00:13:47,870
I'll get you your proof, darling.
I'm going to call in a genealogist.
215
00:13:48,162 --> 00:13:52,499
- We'll get his Professor Simms.
- He can trace our family tree.
216
00:13:53,375 --> 00:13:58,505
Trace it? I know where it is.
Uncle Fester sits in it every day.
217
00:14:27,784 --> 00:14:29,036
The mail's in.
218
00:14:32,748 --> 00:14:34,124
Thank you, Thing.
219
00:14:38,170 --> 00:14:40,964
- It's for you, Mommy.
- Thank you, darling.
220
00:14:48,138 --> 00:14:50,807
Oh, isn't that sweet?
221
00:14:51,600 --> 00:14:54,353
It's from Professor Simms,
the genealogist.
222
00:14:54,436 --> 00:14:59,900
He says, "Working on a family tree
Like yours should be a real challenge."
223
00:15:00,776 --> 00:15:04,112
We better get all the Addams family
heirlooms and records together.
224
00:15:04,196 --> 00:15:07,199
My dear, I've already dug up
a lot of material.
225
00:15:07,449 --> 00:15:08,992
Isn't that beautiful?
226
00:15:09,993 --> 00:15:14,957
- Oh, the old Addams barn.
- Darling, that's Aunt Blemish.
227
00:15:16,291 --> 00:15:17,584
Are you sure?
228
00:15:19,294 --> 00:15:20,796
You maybe right.
229
00:15:23,799 --> 00:15:27,135
- Oh, I don't recognize those two at all.
- That's only one.
230
00:15:27,636 --> 00:15:30,639
Of course, Grandpa Slurp.
231
00:15:30,722 --> 00:15:32,558
I should have known him
by his buck teeth.
232
00:15:32,641 --> 00:15:34,393
And receding chin.
233
00:15:35,477 --> 00:15:37,312
He was a handsome devil.
234
00:15:38,188 --> 00:15:39,815
Remember this picture?
235
00:15:44,987 --> 00:15:47,990
- Cousin Clot!
- Just before they threw the switch.
236
00:15:48,657 --> 00:15:50,284
My, he was photogenic.
237
00:15:50,367 --> 00:15:53,162
I'll never forget the day
the judge imposed sentence.
238
00:15:53,245 --> 00:15:58,208
Clotty stood there, head high,
shoulders back, and said,
239
00:15:58,917 --> 00:16:00,294
"It's a bum rap."
240
00:16:00,794 --> 00:16:02,337
An Addams to the end.
241
00:16:02,754 --> 00:16:05,257
Darling, we better get these things ready.
242
00:16:10,345 --> 00:16:11,471
That does it.
243
00:16:11,555 --> 00:16:13,891
I doubt that I could have made
one more trip to the attic.
244
00:16:13,974 --> 00:16:17,394
I hope the genealogist's
got enough material to work with.
245
00:16:17,477 --> 00:16:21,273
You know, I think we should use more
of these lovely things in the living room.
246
00:16:21,356 --> 00:16:24,443
I didn't know Granduncle Grisly
was a traitor.
247
00:16:24,526 --> 00:16:27,738
Oh, yes! But he only did it for money.
248
00:16:30,866 --> 00:16:32,868
Is Professor Simms still working
in the library?
249
00:16:32,951 --> 00:16:35,204
Yes, darling. I think you better
take these things in to him.
250
00:16:35,287 --> 00:16:37,206
I'll get the doorbell, Lurch.
251
00:16:48,050 --> 00:16:51,887
- I came to return this gift.
- Is there something wrong with it?
252
00:16:52,387 --> 00:16:53,597
I don't know.
253
00:16:53,680 --> 00:16:55,807
Weren't you surprised
when you opened it?
254
00:16:55,891 --> 00:16:57,851
I sure was. It was empty.
255
00:17:02,272 --> 00:17:03,524
Pugsley?
256
00:17:06,610 --> 00:17:08,820
Your birthday present escaped.
257
00:17:09,655 --> 00:17:11,907
Better let Harold pick out something else.
258
00:17:11,990 --> 00:17:15,410
Okay. Come on up to my room, Harold,
and pick out what you want.
259
00:17:15,494 --> 00:17:17,246
I'm not supposed to stay.
260
00:17:17,454 --> 00:17:19,748
A call for Master Pomeroy.
261
00:17:19,832 --> 00:17:21,333
Come along, children.
262
00:17:27,756 --> 00:17:30,300
- Hello?
- Did you return the present?
263
00:17:30,384 --> 00:17:33,136
Yes, and I'm getting out of here
as fast as I can.
264
00:17:33,220 --> 00:17:36,473
No, no! Tell them it was all a mistake.
265
00:17:36,557 --> 00:17:38,308
A horrible mistake.
266
00:17:38,475 --> 00:17:40,978
Yes. Act nice and friendly.
267
00:17:43,856 --> 00:17:45,357
Yes, friendly.
268
00:17:45,983 --> 00:17:49,570
They have some land next to mine
and my man thinks there's oil on it.
269
00:17:49,653 --> 00:17:53,115
Just act nice and friendly
and I'll be over there soon.
270
00:18:03,792 --> 00:18:07,671
My dad said it was all a horrible mistake.
I'm to be nice and friendly.
271
00:18:07,754 --> 00:18:09,298
Oh, that's lovely.
272
00:18:09,590 --> 00:18:12,009
Pugsley, you must let Harold play
with your octopus.
273
00:18:12,092 --> 00:18:13,677
Not that friendly.
274
00:18:13,844 --> 00:18:15,846
Oh, don't be a sissy.
275
00:18:16,638 --> 00:18:18,390
Well, all right.
276
00:18:18,557 --> 00:18:21,393
I'll even show you
how to juggle meat cleavers.
277
00:18:21,476 --> 00:18:24,855
Morticia, Professor Simms feels
he's on the trail of something.
278
00:18:24,938 --> 00:18:27,524
Oh, I do hope it's something gloomy.
279
00:18:32,237 --> 00:18:34,239
For a moment I thought
there might be some relationship
280
00:18:34,323 --> 00:18:37,451
to the New England Adamses,
John and John Quincy.
281
00:18:37,534 --> 00:18:38,869
People often assume that.
282
00:18:38,952 --> 00:18:40,787
It's been a great source
of embarrassment to us.
283
00:18:40,871 --> 00:18:43,499
We spell our name with two "D's".
284
00:18:43,582 --> 00:18:45,626
The additional "D" makes the difference.
285
00:18:45,709 --> 00:18:48,128
Good heavens!
Do you suppose that's the reason
286
00:18:48,212 --> 00:18:51,215
Mr. Pomeroy thought
there was something wrong with us?
287
00:18:52,257 --> 00:18:55,052
- Professor, is something wrong?
- Oh, no.
288
00:18:55,135 --> 00:18:59,389
No, no, that is...
Well, things do seem a bit off.
289
00:18:59,723 --> 00:19:02,726
I've traced Mrs. Addams
back to the early colonial days
290
00:19:02,809 --> 00:19:06,146
at Salem, Massachusetts.
Interesting place, Salem.
291
00:19:06,730 --> 00:19:09,608
- They burned witches there, you know.
- Yes.
292
00:19:10,150 --> 00:19:12,736
I'm certainly glad they don't do that today.
293
00:19:14,279 --> 00:19:17,533
And I found a family of Addamses
Living in a native village
294
00:19:17,616 --> 00:19:19,993
far up the Amazon river,
deep in the jungle.
295
00:19:20,077 --> 00:19:22,913
But the head of the family
seems to have disappeared.
296
00:19:22,996 --> 00:19:25,749
Completely?
Usually they just shrink them.
297
00:19:26,834 --> 00:19:28,210
Yes.
298
00:19:29,711 --> 00:19:34,675
And I've established that one ancestor
back in 270 A.D.
299
00:19:34,883 --> 00:19:39,388
used this torch to set fire to the library
at Alexandria, Egypt.
300
00:19:39,471 --> 00:19:43,433
Mamoud Khali Pasha Addams,
the firebug of the Bosporus.
301
00:19:44,226 --> 00:19:46,228
We should tell Mr. Pomeroy about him.
302
00:19:46,311 --> 00:19:50,148
Oh, the Pomeroy background
has quite a few unusual characters, too.
303
00:19:50,232 --> 00:19:51,316
Really?
304
00:19:51,400 --> 00:19:54,570
But I do think that professional ethics
forbids me discussing it.
305
00:19:54,653 --> 00:19:55,946
Of course.
306
00:19:56,154 --> 00:19:59,032
Otherwise I would tell you
of Pegleg Pomeroy,
307
00:19:59,116 --> 00:20:00,534
the scourge of Denver,
308
00:20:00,617 --> 00:20:02,786
Erwin Pomeroy, the hanging judge,
309
00:20:02,870 --> 00:20:06,957
and Haversham Pomeroy,
the Bluebeard of Boston.
310
00:20:09,084 --> 00:20:13,005
Well, what do you know?
It's quite an impressive background.
311
00:20:13,797 --> 00:20:16,133
I don't blame him for feeling superior.
312
00:20:16,466 --> 00:20:19,970
Darling, sometimes you can
just misjudge people.
313
00:20:30,397 --> 00:20:31,982
Pomeroy, come in.
314
00:20:33,775 --> 00:20:36,320
- Please have a cigar.
- Oh, no, thank you.
315
00:20:36,904 --> 00:20:38,822
Mr. Pomeroy.
316
00:20:38,906 --> 00:20:41,283
You know, I believe I owe you both
an apology.
317
00:20:41,366 --> 00:20:43,494
Not at all,
it's we who owe you an apology.
318
00:20:43,577 --> 00:20:48,123
And I can understand your pride after
Learning about your family background.
319
00:20:51,043 --> 00:20:53,337
- Lovely rug.
- Thank you.
320
00:20:53,420 --> 00:20:56,924
- Do sit down.
- Thank you, thank you. Delighted.
321
00:20:57,007 --> 00:21:00,260
The children are upstairs
playing with little Pugsley's octopus.
322
00:21:00,344 --> 00:21:02,930
- Live, of course.
- How did you know?
323
00:21:08,435 --> 00:21:11,355
Every young boy should have
a live octopus.
324
00:21:11,438 --> 00:21:13,732
We do think alike, don't we?
325
00:21:13,815 --> 00:21:16,985
True, true. And as a little peace offering,
326
00:21:17,069 --> 00:21:20,239
I'd like to take that awful acreage
that we both got stuck with
327
00:21:20,322 --> 00:21:21,406
off your hands.
328
00:21:21,490 --> 00:21:24,409
Same price you paid for it, of course.
$1,000 an acre.
329
00:21:24,493 --> 00:21:28,413
Let's not talk about business.
Let's talk about our illustrious families.
330
00:21:28,497 --> 00:21:31,250
Why didn't you tell us
about Pegleg Pomeroy?
331
00:21:32,417 --> 00:21:33,752
I beg your pardon?
332
00:21:33,836 --> 00:21:36,463
Oh, come, Mr. Pomeroy,
we know all about him.
333
00:21:37,756 --> 00:21:40,467
Quite a streak of skullduggery
in the Pomeroy line, isn't there?
334
00:21:40,551 --> 00:21:41,593
Well, I...
335
00:21:41,677 --> 00:21:43,929
And don't tell us
you're going to deny knowing anything
336
00:21:44,012 --> 00:21:45,722
about Grapeshot Pomeroy.
337
00:21:46,431 --> 00:21:50,435
- Pomeroy is a very common name.
- Isn't he the modest one?
338
00:21:50,519 --> 00:21:53,105
I'm afraid I don't know
what you're talking about.
339
00:21:53,188 --> 00:21:55,315
Aren't you proud
of being descended from a pirate?
340
00:21:55,399 --> 00:21:59,111
- I'll pay you $2,000 an acre.
- Isn't he generous?
341
00:21:59,528 --> 00:22:01,947
Bluebeard Pomeroy
would be proud of him.
342
00:22:02,281 --> 00:22:03,949
Bluebeard...
343
00:22:05,200 --> 00:22:09,454
-$3,000 an acre.
- Well, if you insist.
344
00:22:09,580 --> 00:22:12,374
My check will be here
first thing in the morning.
345
00:22:16,920 --> 00:22:20,674
- You come back, paleface.
- Oh, isn't that sweet.
346
00:22:20,966 --> 00:22:23,218
Get me away from these barbarians.
347
00:22:23,635 --> 00:22:25,554
He's had a tiring day.
348
00:22:26,180 --> 00:22:29,892
Harold, the Addams family
is every bit as good as ours.
349
00:22:29,975 --> 00:22:32,811
Well, Black Bart
and Bloody Addams, true.
350
00:22:32,895 --> 00:22:35,939
- You see?
- Now say goodbye to your little friend.
351
00:22:36,648 --> 00:22:38,567
- Bye.
- Goodbye, Harold.
352
00:22:38,650 --> 00:22:40,485
- Goodbye, Mr. Pomeroy.
- Goodbye.
353
00:22:40,569 --> 00:22:43,822
Harold, you forgot to say goodbye to Kitty.
354
00:22:43,989 --> 00:22:45,115
No!
355
00:22:45,199 --> 00:22:48,494
Now, Harold,
we must say goodbye to Kitty.
356
00:22:49,369 --> 00:22:51,288
Here, Kitty. Here, Kitty.
357
00:23:03,675 --> 00:23:05,594
What happened to the Pomeroys?
358
00:23:07,221 --> 00:23:10,098
These businessmen.
Always in such a hurry.
359
00:23:28,700 --> 00:23:31,495
Really nice of Pomeroy to take
all that worthless land off our hands.
360
00:23:31,578 --> 00:23:34,039
How do you know it's worthless, darling?
361
00:23:34,456 --> 00:23:36,792
Well, one thing's certain,
there's no oil on it.
362
00:23:36,875 --> 00:23:39,044
It's been checked and rechecked.
363
00:23:39,127 --> 00:23:42,214
Guess he just wanted to apologize
for calling us kooks.
364
00:23:49,638 --> 00:23:50,806
Thank you.
365
00:24:10,659 --> 00:24:12,077
Right in the heart!
366
00:24:13,036 --> 00:24:14,955
Morticia, your aim is perfect.
367
00:24:15,080 --> 00:24:20,085
So female. So deadly. So lovely.
368
00:24:20,627 --> 00:24:23,755
Darling, where's Professor Simms?
369
00:24:29,553 --> 00:24:30,804
Do you think?
370
00:24:32,973 --> 00:24:36,101
No, Kitty can't stand the taste of people.
371
00:24:36,151 --> 00:24:40,701
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