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1
00:00:18,391 --> 00:00:20,304
They're creepy
and they're kooky
2
00:00:20,391 --> 00:00:22,217
Mysterious and spooky
3
00:00:22,348 --> 00:00:24,261
They're altogether ooky
4
00:00:24,391 --> 00:00:26,261
The Addams family
5
00:00:26,435 --> 00:00:28,391
The house is a museum
6
00:00:28,478 --> 00:00:30,348
When people come to see 'em
7
00:00:30,478 --> 00:00:32,348
They really are a scream
8
00:00:32,478 --> 00:00:34,217
The Addams family
9
00:00:35,565 --> 00:00:36,696
MAN: Neat.
10
00:00:37,304 --> 00:00:38,391
Sweet.
11
00:00:41,304 --> 00:00:42,435
Petite.
12
00:00:42,522 --> 00:00:44,217
So get a witch 's shawl on
13
00:00:44,304 --> 00:00:46,261
A broomstick
you can crawl on
14
00:00:46,348 --> 00:00:48,174
We're gonna pay a call on
15
00:00:48,261 --> 00:00:50,957
The Addams family
16
00:01:11,652 --> 00:01:13,870
These conventions, they're so exciting!
17
00:01:13,957 --> 00:01:17,478
I remember the first time I voted. 1906.
18
00:01:18,130 --> 00:01:22,348
Now, Mama, you know
there was no woman suffrage in 1906.
19
00:01:22,435 --> 00:01:25,261
-That didn't stop me.
-You're a real Addams.
20
00:01:26,000 --> 00:01:27,174
What's all the noise?
21
00:01:27,261 --> 00:01:29,391
The conventions, Morticia,
the conventions.
22
00:01:29,522 --> 00:01:31,957
I do wish they wouldn't shout so.
23
00:01:32,043 --> 00:01:34,609
It keeps Iittle Pugsley's octopus awake.
24
00:01:34,696 --> 00:01:37,739
The poor thing's getting rings
under his tentacles.
25
00:01:38,348 --> 00:01:40,826
And my African strangler, too.
26
00:01:41,000 --> 00:01:44,261
It just Ioses all desire to strangle anyone.
27
00:01:49,391 --> 00:01:51,783
Thank you, Thing.
28
00:01:53,739 --> 00:01:57,348
Dear Thing.
It sets such a good example for us.
29
00:01:59,739 --> 00:02:01,043
Show-off.
30
00:02:01,391 --> 00:02:04,565
-Uncle Fester!
-I'm sorry.
31
00:02:04,652 --> 00:02:07,565
Now, you know I don't Iike
petty jealousies.
32
00:02:07,826 --> 00:02:08,957
Where's Gomez?
33
00:02:09,043 --> 00:02:11,696
He's down in the playroom
hanging pictures.
34
00:02:11,783 --> 00:02:15,522
Oh, dear. I do hope he isn't hanging
the picture of Cousin Grisly
35
00:02:15,609 --> 00:02:18,130
facing the firing squad down there.
36
00:02:18,391 --> 00:02:20,174
It Iooks so right in the hall.
37
00:02:26,478 --> 00:02:27,696
What are you doing, darling?
38
00:02:27,783 --> 00:02:30,652
Just getting the playroom
into the election spirit.
39
00:02:35,609 --> 00:02:36,870
Is he running again?
40
00:02:36,957 --> 00:02:39,174
No, but I thought I'd bring out
the pictures of the men
41
00:02:39,261 --> 00:02:41,087
we Addamses have supported in the past.
42
00:02:41,174 --> 00:02:42,652
Very appropriate.
43
00:02:45,522 --> 00:02:50,261
-We really backed Landon to the hilt.
-Yes. I must say he was a very good Ioser.
44
00:02:51,000 --> 00:02:52,913
No better than AI Smith here.
45
00:02:53,304 --> 00:02:55,043
Or Wendell Willkie.
46
00:02:57,261 --> 00:02:58,391
Or Adlai.
47
00:02:59,174 --> 00:03:01,652
Uncle BIight masterminded
their campaigns.
48
00:03:01,739 --> 00:03:04,565
OId "Kiss-of-Death" BIight,
they called him.
49
00:03:05,348 --> 00:03:07,087
I never quite knew why.
50
00:03:07,174 --> 00:03:10,000
Grandpa Squint says
it's an old family nickname.
51
00:03:10,087 --> 00:03:13,348
Grandpa knew his way
around the political arena, too.
52
00:03:14,261 --> 00:03:19,000
Abe Lincoln begged him for his support.
But there's the man who got it.
53
00:03:19,087 --> 00:03:20,391
Stephen Douglas.
54
00:03:22,130 --> 00:03:24,348
Darling, with all this natural
political talent,
55
00:03:24,435 --> 00:03:26,478
shouldn't you be running for public office?
56
00:03:26,565 --> 00:03:30,043
No, we Addamses prefer
to think of ourselves as king-makers.
57
00:03:30,130 --> 00:03:34,870
The man I've decided to throw
my support to, in every way,
58
00:03:35,478 --> 00:03:37,478
is Leonard G. Quimby.
59
00:03:54,652 --> 00:03:56,130
-Howdy, neighbor.
-How do you do?
60
00:03:56,217 --> 00:03:58,565
-Well, I see you've picked your man.
-Yes, I have.
61
00:03:58,652 --> 00:04:01,391
Even heard you made
a substantial contribution to his campaign.
62
00:04:01,478 --> 00:04:03,087
It's only money.
63
00:04:03,348 --> 00:04:04,391
Good.
64
00:04:05,391 --> 00:04:08,652
-George Bass is my name.
-Addams here.
65
00:04:09,565 --> 00:04:12,739
-Is all this yours?
-Well, we go back to the cemetery.
66
00:04:13,565 --> 00:04:15,522
We all do, sometime.
67
00:04:19,261 --> 00:04:22,522
It's nice to see citizens
taking an interest in the election,
68
00:04:22,609 --> 00:04:24,826
even if they have backed the wrong man.
69
00:04:24,913 --> 00:04:26,870
Quimby? Why, he's our insurance man.
70
00:04:26,957 --> 00:04:30,913
Got us off the hook when my son,
Pugsley, accidentally blew up the garage.
71
00:04:31,739 --> 00:04:33,826
But that's neither here nor there.
72
00:04:35,652 --> 00:04:37,304
You're right.
73
00:04:37,435 --> 00:04:40,087
My man promises to modernize the city,
74
00:04:40,174 --> 00:04:42,957
put in more streetlights,
drain the swamps.
75
00:04:43,957 --> 00:04:46,957
-Drain the swamps?
-That and more.
76
00:04:47,304 --> 00:04:50,087
Well, maybe I have been a Iittle hasty.
77
00:04:50,304 --> 00:04:53,696
-Do you have a picture of your man?
-Do I have a picture of my...
78
00:04:54,261 --> 00:04:56,696
There he is, the voice of progress.
79
00:04:56,783 --> 00:04:59,957
That's Sam L. Hilliard.
Why, he's an old friend.
80
00:05:00,435 --> 00:05:02,783
I hope the L stands for Lucifer.
81
00:05:03,696 --> 00:05:07,304
-It does, it does.
-Good. He's a fine man.
82
00:05:07,783 --> 00:05:11,174
Last time he was around here,
he went away with the shakes.
83
00:05:11,261 --> 00:05:12,739
I wonder why.
84
00:05:13,870 --> 00:05:16,696
Overworked. Then you'II vote for him?
85
00:05:16,783 --> 00:05:19,478
We'II do better than that.
We'II go out and campaign for him.
86
00:05:19,609 --> 00:05:22,870
Wonderful! Wait till I tell Mr. Hilliard.
87
00:05:24,000 --> 00:05:25,174
Here.
88
00:05:28,435 --> 00:05:30,522
Welcome, fellow campaigner.
89
00:05:33,478 --> 00:05:34,957
Sorry, Quimby.
90
00:05:35,957 --> 00:05:39,130
You can sprinkle Iater, Tish.
Take a Iook at this.
91
00:05:41,087 --> 00:05:44,565
-I could have sworn he was bald.
-My dear. That's another man.
92
00:05:44,652 --> 00:05:47,783
That's our old friend from
the School Board, Sam L. Hilliard.
93
00:05:47,870 --> 00:05:50,000
I've changed horses in midstream.
94
00:05:50,087 --> 00:05:53,087
-That's the Addams way.
-Of course.
95
00:05:53,174 --> 00:05:55,174
The L stands for Lucifer.
96
00:05:55,870 --> 00:05:58,261
Very appropriate for a politician.
97
00:05:59,783 --> 00:06:01,826
But, darling, Iook at his platform.
98
00:06:01,913 --> 00:06:05,522
"Modernize the city,
put in more streetlights,
99
00:06:05,609 --> 00:06:09,304
"drain the swamps! "
Drain our Iovely swamps?
100
00:06:09,391 --> 00:06:14,783
-The man's an extremist.
-querida mia, our swamps are safe.
101
00:06:15,304 --> 00:06:17,522
Mr. Hilliard won't do any
of those terrible things.
102
00:06:17,609 --> 00:06:20,957
Don't you realize politicians
always make extravagant promises?
103
00:06:21,043 --> 00:06:23,739
Fortunately
I can see through their Iittle games.
104
00:06:23,826 --> 00:06:25,957
Darling, you're so clever.
105
00:06:26,043 --> 00:06:30,478
I'm sure Mr. Hilliard will be very happy
we've decided to join his campaign.
106
00:06:31,000 --> 00:06:32,957
I can just see his face.
107
00:06:33,043 --> 00:06:37,304
No, no, no.
I want no part of that Addams family.
108
00:06:37,391 --> 00:06:40,391
But they're good
for a nice campaign contribution.
109
00:06:40,478 --> 00:06:41,652
You get it.
110
00:06:41,739 --> 00:06:45,261
Look, the public Iikes personal contact
with the candidate,
111
00:06:45,348 --> 00:06:47,696
you know, the old handshake,
the baby kissing.
112
00:06:47,783 --> 00:06:50,565
You've got to go over
and welcome them officially.
113
00:06:50,652 --> 00:06:52,130
I'd rather Iose.
114
00:06:52,696 --> 00:06:57,000
You may, if you don't Iay your hands
on some more campaign funds.
115
00:06:58,000 --> 00:07:00,609
-Seriously?
-Seriously.
116
00:07:01,478 --> 00:07:03,478
It's still not worth it.
117
00:07:23,522 --> 00:07:27,609
Community pride,
public service, civic duty.
118
00:07:28,130 --> 00:07:30,217
I wonder if we're doing the right thing.
119
00:07:30,304 --> 00:07:32,783
Don't you want
to save our Iovely swamps?
120
00:07:32,957 --> 00:07:35,435
That is a good cause.
121
00:07:35,652 --> 00:07:39,391
-Besides, elections are fun.
-We should vote more often.
122
00:07:39,739 --> 00:07:41,435
How's this one?
123
00:07:45,435 --> 00:07:48,348
That's nice, Uncle Fester,
and very original, too.
124
00:07:49,261 --> 00:07:52,478
-Yours is nice too, my dear.
-Thank you, darling.
125
00:07:53,217 --> 00:07:57,130
-You Ieft the R out of "friend."
-I thought it Iooked better that way.
126
00:07:57,565 --> 00:07:59,522
By Jove, it does.
127
00:08:00,304 --> 00:08:04,217
I wonder why Mr. Hilliard hasn't called
to thank us for joining his campaign.
128
00:08:04,304 --> 00:08:06,522
Busy, no doubt. That reminds me.
129
00:08:06,609 --> 00:08:10,348
I think I'II send Lurch over and
invite Hilliard to a Iittle strategy meeting.
130
00:08:11,391 --> 00:08:14,565
Our candidate. Welcome.
131
00:08:14,696 --> 00:08:17,696
Mr. Hilliard, how nice of you to join us.
132
00:08:24,304 --> 00:08:28,043
We've been up nights just planning
and planning for you.
133
00:08:28,130 --> 00:08:29,739
What are you planning?
134
00:08:29,826 --> 00:08:32,522
Show him the wonderful sign
you painted for him.
135
00:08:34,783 --> 00:08:36,565
"Everybody's fiend?"
136
00:08:38,348 --> 00:08:40,565
I didn't think you'd notice.
137
00:08:41,217 --> 00:08:44,783
Sit down, Mr. Hilliard, I'II have Lurch
serve some refreshments.
138
00:08:47,087 --> 00:08:48,217
You rang?
139
00:08:48,304 --> 00:08:51,739
-Name it, Mr. Hilliard. Coffee, tea?
-Brew?
140
00:08:52,957 --> 00:08:54,565
Oh, no, thank you.
141
00:08:57,565 --> 00:08:59,913
Won't you sit down, Mr. Hilliard?
142
00:09:02,304 --> 00:09:05,783
Mrs. Addams and I would Iike to discuss
some campaign strategy with you.
143
00:09:05,870 --> 00:09:08,957
Look, I just remembered
a speaking engagement.
144
00:09:16,043 --> 00:09:17,652
Yes, thank you.
145
00:09:20,609 --> 00:09:25,000
Now then, what's the key
to every successful political campaign?
146
00:09:25,217 --> 00:09:27,478
-Money.
-Exactly.
147
00:09:27,565 --> 00:09:31,652
-Gomez is such a brilliant strategist.
-She really knows me.
148
00:09:31,739 --> 00:09:38,304
Sure, sure. Well, why don't you just
make out a check for, say, $5,000?
149
00:09:39,087 --> 00:09:41,217
-A drop in the bucket.
-$10,000?
150
00:09:41,304 --> 00:09:43,217
-$20,000 or nothing.
-$20,000?
151
00:09:43,304 --> 00:09:44,391
We insist.
152
00:09:44,478 --> 00:09:46,609
-Well, if you put it that way.
-We do.
153
00:09:46,696 --> 00:09:50,043
But more important than money
is how it's going to be spent.
154
00:09:50,261 --> 00:09:52,696
We have some wonderful ideas.
155
00:09:53,304 --> 00:09:55,957
-Like that sign?
-Better.
156
00:09:56,609 --> 00:10:00,435
Well, why don't you just make out a check
and Ieave the campaigning to us.
157
00:10:00,565 --> 00:10:03,000
But these are sure-fire strategies.
158
00:10:03,087 --> 00:10:06,522
Number one: We wanna get our butler,
Lurch, on television.
159
00:10:07,087 --> 00:10:09,913
We feel he'II appeal to the women's vote.
160
00:10:11,174 --> 00:10:14,435
Camera moves in. It's a close-up of Lurch.
161
00:10:16,348 --> 00:10:19,870
Lurch expresses himself
on the candidacy of Sam L. Hilliard.
162
00:10:26,261 --> 00:10:28,826
Animal magnetism. You can't top that.
163
00:10:30,957 --> 00:10:33,478
Tell you what? Make it $10,000.
164
00:10:34,174 --> 00:10:36,435
Our children can appeal
to the junior voters.
165
00:10:36,522 --> 00:10:39,217
Junior voters? Kids don't vote.
166
00:10:40,130 --> 00:10:41,783
By George, you're right.
167
00:10:42,217 --> 00:10:44,130
How about $5,000?
168
00:10:44,435 --> 00:10:47,217
Gomez, darling, we'II still have
to Iet the children go on television.
169
00:10:47,348 --> 00:10:48,957
They'II be so disappointed.
170
00:10:49,043 --> 00:10:50,957
Besides, they wrote
such brilliant speeches.
171
00:10:51,043 --> 00:10:52,522
$2,500.
172
00:10:52,957 --> 00:10:55,348
You'II forget all about money
when you hear the song
173
00:10:55,435 --> 00:10:59,130
that Uncle Fester wrote for you.
A campaign song.
174
00:10:59,957 --> 00:11:02,957
-$1,000.
-Uncle Fester!
175
00:11:07,217 --> 00:11:11,000
Uncle Fester, sing your campaign song
for Mr. Hilliard.
176
00:11:11,435 --> 00:11:13,913
-This will kill you.
-Oh, no.
177
00:11:15,783 --> 00:11:16,826
You...
178
00:11:16,913 --> 00:11:19,826
To the harpsichord, Lurch,
we're gonna do the song.
179
00:11:26,130 --> 00:11:29,087
It's the kind of song
that gets you right here.
180
00:11:30,261 --> 00:11:31,391
$500.
181
00:11:43,304 --> 00:11:45,652
Don't be a hog
help clean up the bog
182
00:11:45,826 --> 00:11:47,913
Vote for Sam L. Hilliard
183
00:11:48,000 --> 00:11:50,522
He'II stick to the issue
he may even kiss you
184
00:11:50,609 --> 00:11:53,043
So vote for Sam L. Hilliard
185
00:11:53,174 --> 00:11:55,478
Honest and fearless
Sam L. is peerless
186
00:11:55,565 --> 00:11:57,826
He's a man for
whom we stump.
187
00:11:57,913 --> 00:12:00,261
So don't be a goat
and just cast your vote
188
00:12:00,348 --> 00:12:04,000
For the pride of
our city's swamp
189
00:12:08,174 --> 00:12:11,783
Well, what do you think?
190
00:12:11,870 --> 00:12:14,652
I think we've got more money
than we need.
191
00:12:15,696 --> 00:12:18,478
Uncle Fester can do the song
with special effects, too. He Iights up.
192
00:12:18,565 --> 00:12:19,826
Lights up?
193
00:12:28,870 --> 00:12:31,130
Don't worry about the flickering.
We'II have him recharged.
194
00:12:35,304 --> 00:12:38,174
-I better go.
-You haven't seen anything yet.
195
00:12:38,261 --> 00:12:40,739
-PIease, I'II give you a Iittle money.
-Nonsense.
196
00:12:40,826 --> 00:12:43,478
-I'm really unworthy of your support.
-Twaddle.
197
00:12:43,565 --> 00:12:44,652
I'm a grafter.
198
00:12:44,739 --> 00:12:47,435
You mean all your campaign promises
are phony?
199
00:12:47,783 --> 00:12:51,217
-As a $3 bill.
-I got a Iot of $3 bills.
200
00:12:53,087 --> 00:12:56,348
I'm not going to do anything
about the streetlights.
201
00:12:56,435 --> 00:12:59,565
-The streets stay dark and gloomy.
-Wonderful.
202
00:13:00,261 --> 00:13:03,348
And the bogs and marshes,
I'm gonna make them even boggier.
203
00:13:03,435 --> 00:13:04,522
Capital!
204
00:13:04,609 --> 00:13:07,348
I knew you'd appreciate
my Ieveling with you.
205
00:13:07,435 --> 00:13:08,696
We do! We do, Mr. Hilliard.
206
00:13:08,783 --> 00:13:11,217
I almost forgot the most important thing.
Our party mascot!
207
00:13:11,304 --> 00:13:13,522
-We don't need a party mascot.
-Yes, we do.
208
00:13:13,609 --> 00:13:16,000
The Democrats have their donkey,
the Republicans have their elephant.
209
00:13:16,087 --> 00:13:18,348
-Guess what we have?
-I couldn't begin to.
210
00:13:18,435 --> 00:13:20,696
We have Kitty cat.
211
00:13:21,130 --> 00:13:24,000
Kitty. Here, Kitty, Kitty, Kitty, Kitty.
212
00:13:32,652 --> 00:13:33,957
Don't frighten the poor dear.
213
00:13:34,043 --> 00:13:37,522
I'II send you a Ietter of apology
first thing in the morning.
214
00:13:37,609 --> 00:13:40,391
-Forgot your hat.
-Keep it!
215
00:13:44,783 --> 00:13:47,000
Well, it Iooks Iike
we backed the right man.
216
00:13:47,087 --> 00:13:49,261
No question about it.
I'm just sorry about one thing.
217
00:13:49,348 --> 00:13:52,130
-What's that, dear?
-I forgot to register.
218
00:14:02,130 --> 00:14:03,565
"In the course of human events,
219
00:14:03,652 --> 00:14:06,739
"there are many moments
that try men's souls.
220
00:14:08,870 --> 00:14:13,217
"There are moments
of crisis, of tragedy, turmoil,
221
00:14:13,652 --> 00:14:16,130
"doubt. There are even moments..."
222
00:14:21,652 --> 00:14:23,609
I've put Kitty to sleep.
223
00:14:24,391 --> 00:14:27,783
What does it matter, darling?
He doesn't vote, anyway.
224
00:14:28,087 --> 00:14:30,261
No, no, it's my speech.
225
00:14:30,348 --> 00:14:32,957
Let's go through it. Start at the beginning.
226
00:14:33,435 --> 00:14:38,174
-"My friends..."
-Hold it. That'II never go, dear.
227
00:14:38,522 --> 00:14:41,609
-Get right to the issues.
-You're right.
228
00:14:43,565 --> 00:14:46,391
"One of the major issues
of the day is peace."
229
00:14:46,478 --> 00:14:49,174
Well, that's true, dear.
But everybody wants peace.
230
00:14:49,261 --> 00:14:52,000
-Even Mr. Quimby.
-You're right.
231
00:14:53,304 --> 00:14:55,043
"And now, to the matter of taxes.
232
00:14:55,130 --> 00:14:58,913
"Shall we have high taxes?
Or shall we have Iow taxes?"
233
00:14:59,261 --> 00:15:02,130
-Isn't that a dangerous position?
-You're right.
234
00:15:03,652 --> 00:15:05,739
"Which brings us to the question
of education..."
235
00:15:05,826 --> 00:15:08,913
-Nope, much too controversial.
-You're right.
236
00:15:10,435 --> 00:15:13,522
"AIso the question of social welfare?"
237
00:15:19,609 --> 00:15:24,087
"Now we come to the biggest,
the most burning issue of the day,
238
00:15:24,217 --> 00:15:27,304
"the question of..."
239
00:15:31,217 --> 00:15:34,130
-You make that out?
-"Question of swamps."
240
00:15:34,217 --> 00:15:35,478
Oh, yes.
241
00:15:37,826 --> 00:15:39,522
"As to the matter of swamps..."
242
00:15:39,609 --> 00:15:44,565
Darling, the Iess said about that
the better.
243
00:15:45,304 --> 00:15:48,739
Very clever, querida, very clever.
244
00:15:53,478 --> 00:15:55,043
-"I thank you."
-Well...
245
00:15:55,130 --> 00:15:56,304
I know what you're going to say.
246
00:15:56,391 --> 00:15:58,696
After such an enlightening
and courageous speech,
247
00:15:58,826 --> 00:16:01,478
I shouldn't thank them,
they should thank me.
248
00:16:01,565 --> 00:16:03,304
I agree completely.
249
00:16:16,391 --> 00:16:18,435
Now, you all know
what you're supposed to do?
250
00:16:18,522 --> 00:16:20,652
Lurch, you hit
the swanky Oak Knoll section.
251
00:16:20,739 --> 00:16:21,957
Roger.
252
00:16:22,565 --> 00:16:25,739
-Mama?
-I get off in the business district.
253
00:16:25,826 --> 00:16:29,609
You parade up and down the street with
your placard and you blow your bugle.
254
00:16:29,696 --> 00:16:31,652
Uncle Fester, is your assignment clear?
255
00:16:31,739 --> 00:16:35,478
I sing, Iight up and pass out $3 bills.
256
00:16:35,565 --> 00:16:38,913
Remember, the secret word is "dignity."
257
00:16:39,913 --> 00:16:42,522
AII right, Lurch, blast off.
258
00:16:49,478 --> 00:16:51,739
Don't they make a fine-Iooking group?
259
00:16:51,870 --> 00:16:53,957
Mr. Hilliard is as good as elected.
260
00:16:56,130 --> 00:17:00,217
Oak Knoll is in the bag, huh?
Great, keep in touch.
261
00:17:00,304 --> 00:17:02,870
Well, everything Iooks good so far.
262
00:17:03,304 --> 00:17:04,652
Polls say you're a shoo-in.
263
00:17:04,739 --> 00:17:07,217
I wouldn't be if I hadn't got rid
of that Addams family.
264
00:17:07,304 --> 00:17:10,217
-PIease, Iet's not mention them again.
-You're right.
265
00:17:10,304 --> 00:17:12,043
Now hop on down to the polls
and keep an eye on things.
266
00:17:12,130 --> 00:17:13,217
Right.
267
00:17:13,304 --> 00:17:16,087
-If anything goes wrong, call me.
-Right.
268
00:17:27,304 --> 00:17:31,217
Boss? Bass. You better get over here
to the Fourth Ward.
269
00:17:31,304 --> 00:17:33,174
The Addamses are Ioose.
270
00:17:35,043 --> 00:17:36,870
ANNOUNCER: As I told you before,
ladies and gentlemen,
271
00:17:36,957 --> 00:17:39,870
we're speaking to you from the busy
intersection ofBroadway and Main.
272
00:17:39,957 --> 00:17:43,783
Well, I've seen election campaigns,
but this one beats them all.
273
00:17:43,913 --> 00:17:45,087
Looks Iike we've done it.
274
00:17:45,174 --> 00:17:48,609
Our on-the-spot broadcast today
features... Wait a minute.
275
00:17:48,696 --> 00:17:51,304
There's candidate Sam Hilliard,
and he's chasing a campaign runner
276
00:17:51,391 --> 00:17:53,565
down the street with a stick!
277
00:17:53,739 --> 00:17:58,261
-Isn't that Uncle Fester?
-Uncle... Yes, he just Iit up!
278
00:17:59,391 --> 00:18:03,130
I better return you to our studios KBHL.
I'm beginning to see things.
279
00:18:03,217 --> 00:18:05,957
Thank you, Mel, and there you see...
280
00:18:06,435 --> 00:18:09,130
Why would Mr. Hilliard
chase Uncle Fester with a stick?
281
00:18:09,217 --> 00:18:12,913
Nonsense, dear. Didn't you hear
the reporter admit he was seeing things?
282
00:18:13,000 --> 00:18:14,174
Of course.
283
00:18:14,261 --> 00:18:17,261
Hilliard will probably be along any minute
to express his gratitude.
284
00:18:18,783 --> 00:18:21,435
Boss, you can't go in there. It's suicide.
285
00:18:21,522 --> 00:18:23,174
-That's my mood exactly.
-But...
286
00:18:23,261 --> 00:18:25,957
I've got to get those Addamses
off the street or I'm sunk.
287
00:18:26,043 --> 00:18:27,304
Well, I'm not going in.
288
00:18:27,435 --> 00:18:30,522
That's the first intelligent thing
you've said in the entire campaign.
289
00:18:30,609 --> 00:18:33,130
Get down to the polls
and see what's going on.
290
00:18:33,217 --> 00:18:34,391
Right.
291
00:18:41,000 --> 00:18:42,522
-Bass.
-Boss?
292
00:18:42,652 --> 00:18:45,478
Call my mother
and tell her not to wait up for me.
293
00:18:45,565 --> 00:18:46,826
Good idea.
294
00:19:09,348 --> 00:19:11,478
-Hilliard, we've been expecting you.
-I should think so.
295
00:19:11,565 --> 00:19:14,739
-I'II take your hat.
-No, no, no, I'm holding on to it this time.
296
00:19:14,826 --> 00:19:16,217
Come on in.
297
00:19:17,565 --> 00:19:20,043
-Mrs. Addams...
-PIease don't say it.
298
00:19:20,130 --> 00:19:21,435
I will, too, say it!
299
00:19:21,522 --> 00:19:24,870
Mr. Addams and I find expressions
of gratitude so embarrassing.
300
00:19:24,957 --> 00:19:26,435
Expressions of gratitude?
301
00:19:26,522 --> 00:19:28,217
Your election will be our reward.
302
00:19:28,304 --> 00:19:30,652
I'm going to turn this whole thing over
to a Iawyer.
303
00:19:30,739 --> 00:19:32,391
-A Iawyer?
-Yes.
304
00:19:32,870 --> 00:19:34,043
My card.
305
00:19:34,348 --> 00:19:37,696
Gomez is responsible
for putting more criminals behind bars
306
00:19:37,783 --> 00:19:39,739
than any other man in the United States.
307
00:19:39,826 --> 00:19:42,130
You, a prosecuting attorney?
308
00:19:42,783 --> 00:19:44,652
Attorney for the defense.
309
00:19:45,391 --> 00:19:47,435
Well, I don't need you for my Iawyer
310
00:19:47,522 --> 00:19:50,043
and I don't need you
for my campaign manager.
311
00:19:50,130 --> 00:19:52,522
You see, our man's a politician
of the old school.
312
00:19:52,609 --> 00:19:56,783
Not only forgets his campaign promises,
he forgets his campaigners.
313
00:19:58,304 --> 00:20:00,783
I knew we backed the right horse.
314
00:20:02,217 --> 00:20:03,304
Excuse me.
315
00:20:04,435 --> 00:20:08,565
Thank you, Thing. Addams here.
Yes, he's here too.
316
00:20:09,000 --> 00:20:12,739
It's for you. Probably your opponent,
Quimby, conceding the election.
317
00:20:14,783 --> 00:20:17,696
-Only a case of election day jitters.
-I hope so.
318
00:20:18,391 --> 00:20:20,826
-Why don't you answer it?
-You answer it.
319
00:20:20,913 --> 00:20:22,391
Of course, old boy.
320
00:20:22,783 --> 00:20:24,957
Addams here. I'II take the message.
321
00:20:25,957 --> 00:20:27,261
Oh, hello, Bass!
322
00:20:28,130 --> 00:20:30,739
Really? Some of the first returns are in.
323
00:20:30,826 --> 00:20:32,087
Oak Knoll, eh?
324
00:20:33,304 --> 00:20:35,609
Good. I see. Good work, Bass.
325
00:20:36,826 --> 00:20:38,261
-It's a Iandslide.
-For Hilliard?
326
00:20:38,348 --> 00:20:40,435
For Quimby. 76 to nothing.
327
00:20:40,913 --> 00:20:43,957
-I knew it, I knew it.
-Those early returns.
328
00:20:44,043 --> 00:20:45,957
Of course, the Oak Knoll section,
upper class snobs,
329
00:20:46,043 --> 00:20:47,783
always contrary to the main trend.
330
00:20:49,043 --> 00:20:50,478
I'II get it.
331
00:20:51,522 --> 00:20:53,174
Thank you, Thing.
332
00:20:53,609 --> 00:20:57,304
Darling, you Iook a Iittle tired.
Why don't you just relax?
333
00:21:01,261 --> 00:21:03,913
Hello. This is Mrs. Addams speaking.
334
00:21:04,696 --> 00:21:06,261
Yes, he's here.
335
00:21:06,739 --> 00:21:10,652
-It's for you again.
-I'm not going near that thing.
336
00:21:12,043 --> 00:21:13,739
I'II take the message.
337
00:21:13,826 --> 00:21:16,696
Oh hello, Mr. Bass. Really?
338
00:21:17,304 --> 00:21:18,870
It's the 9th Precinct.
339
00:21:19,435 --> 00:21:21,478
Well, that's much better.
340
00:21:22,435 --> 00:21:24,957
Hilliard 6, Quimby 1 10.
341
00:21:25,478 --> 00:21:29,478
-See? You're beginning to gain.
-I'm ruined. Ruined!
342
00:21:29,870 --> 00:21:32,826
Come now, Mr. Hilliard,
that's the 9th Precinct.
343
00:21:32,913 --> 00:21:35,826
Nothing but Iower class people.
That's not where your strength is.
344
00:21:37,087 --> 00:21:39,435
If that's for me,
I don't wanna talk to anybody.
345
00:21:39,522 --> 00:21:42,130
Addams here. Bass, what's the word?
346
00:21:43,217 --> 00:21:46,000
Come, now, Bass,
you can think of another word.
347
00:21:46,087 --> 00:21:47,261
I see.
348
00:21:48,087 --> 00:21:51,174
Well, the middle class section
is the most important.
349
00:21:51,261 --> 00:21:54,435
-Fine.
-AII right, Iet me have it.
350
00:21:54,522 --> 00:21:57,304
-If I were you, I'd demand a recount.
-Oh, no.
351
00:21:57,391 --> 00:21:59,435
Hilliard 5, Quimby 204.
352
00:21:59,609 --> 00:22:01,348
Not bad, really. You only Iost one vote.
353
00:22:01,435 --> 00:22:03,609
I'm sure there's been some fraud.
354
00:22:03,696 --> 00:22:05,783
Yes, Bass admits it.
Too bad they caught him.
355
00:22:07,043 --> 00:22:08,522
I'II get it.
356
00:22:10,391 --> 00:22:12,435
Hello, Mrs. Addams speaking.
357
00:22:13,609 --> 00:22:15,261
Yes, Mr. Quimby.
358
00:22:16,478 --> 00:22:20,609
Mr. Hilliard's here. I'm afraid he can't
come to the phone right now.
359
00:22:20,652 --> 00:22:24,174
What?
Mr. Quimby, I'm sure you're mistaken.
360
00:22:24,348 --> 00:22:26,826
EIectronic computers do not vote.
361
00:22:28,130 --> 00:22:29,696
Mr. Quimby is claiming victory.
362
00:22:29,826 --> 00:22:31,957
-Wonderful.
-What's wonderful about it?
363
00:22:32,043 --> 00:22:35,435
Can't you see, old man?
The trap. The Achilles' heel.
364
00:22:35,522 --> 00:22:38,870
The Waterloo of every politician.
Overconfidence.
365
00:22:42,304 --> 00:22:44,348
The poor dear.
366
00:22:44,435 --> 00:22:47,870
The sweet smell of success
must have been too much for him.
367
00:22:57,043 --> 00:23:01,478
I'm so glad you joined
the Zen-Yogi society, darling.
368
00:23:02,870 --> 00:23:04,348
Right, querida.
369
00:23:05,261 --> 00:23:08,522
After a strenuous campaign,
at Ieast you can relax.
370
00:23:08,739 --> 00:23:11,522
Every man should Iearn to relax this way.
371
00:23:14,261 --> 00:23:15,870
It's a wonderful gift.
372
00:23:17,087 --> 00:23:20,913
-It says Mr. Hilliard is quitting politics.
-Really?
373
00:23:21,043 --> 00:23:23,348
-Must be his health.
-Must be.
374
00:23:23,435 --> 00:23:26,435
Because it says he's thinking
of Ieaving town, too.
375
00:23:27,130 --> 00:23:30,609
As a matter of fact, it says he's thinking
of Ieaving the country.
376
00:23:30,696 --> 00:23:33,957
Poor man, I was so sure he'd win.
377
00:23:35,000 --> 00:23:37,870
I guess we got into the campaign too Iate.
378
00:23:41,609 --> 00:23:44,130
Gomez, I'm afraid we failed.
379
00:23:44,261 --> 00:23:47,957
Not according to Quimby. He says
if it wasn't for us, he wouldn't have won.
380
00:23:48,087 --> 00:23:50,261
What a generous thing to say.
381
00:23:53,609 --> 00:23:55,609
Why, thank you, Thing.
382
00:23:57,957 --> 00:24:01,304
Maybe we should have gotten Thing
into the campaign.
383
00:24:01,565 --> 00:24:03,217
No, I guess not.
384
00:24:03,957 --> 00:24:06,522
Hello? This is Mrs. Addams speaking.
385
00:24:07,609 --> 00:24:09,565
Why, hello, Mr. Hilliard.
386
00:24:10,739 --> 00:24:13,870
Really? Isn't that nice.
387
00:24:14,565 --> 00:24:16,913
Well, thank you. Goodbye.
388
00:24:18,174 --> 00:24:22,000
That was that nice Mr. Hilliard.
He says he's glad he lost.
389
00:24:22,087 --> 00:24:25,870
The Mayor appointed him head of the
School Board. It's a much better position.
390
00:24:25,957 --> 00:24:28,478
In that case, I'm proud to have served.
391
00:24:31,565 --> 00:24:32,957
Alley-oop! Oop!
392
00:24:35,435 --> 00:24:38,739
-Where are you going, darling?
-To the playroom.
393
00:24:39,870 --> 00:24:43,043
To add Mr. Hilliard
to our illustrious collection.
394
00:24:43,093 --> 00:24:47,643
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