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1
00:00:02,561 --> 00:00:04,561
[bells jingling]
2
00:00:04,563 --> 00:00:05,987
[belches]
3
00:00:06,065 --> 00:00:07,397
♪
4
00:00:07,399 --> 00:00:08,656
D'oh!
5
00:00:08,734 --> 00:00:10,917
[barking]
6
00:00:10,994 --> 00:00:12,219
[grunts]
7
00:00:16,500 --> 00:00:18,434
♪
8
00:00:23,265 --> 00:00:24,765
♪
9
00:00:24,841 --> 00:00:27,918
♪ Bowl me to the moon ♪
10
00:00:27,920 --> 00:00:31,846
♪ And roll me to the stars ♪
11
00:00:31,924 --> 00:00:33,106
♪ Hey ♪
12
00:00:33,183 --> 00:00:35,850
♪ This is more than just a game ♪
13
00:00:35,928 --> 00:00:39,687
♪ For big fat dopes in bars ♪
14
00:00:39,765 --> 00:00:40,688
♪ No ♪
15
00:00:40,766 --> 00:00:42,949
♪ For lazy guys ♪
16
00:00:43,026 --> 00:00:45,360
♪ This is a sport ♪
17
00:00:45,437 --> 00:00:48,005
♪ Doo bap, doo boop bee boo wow ♪
18
00:00:50,793 --> 00:00:51,717
[pins clatter]
19
00:00:51,794 --> 00:00:53,110
It's today.
20
00:00:53,112 --> 00:00:54,202
It's today!
21
00:00:54,280 --> 00:00:56,371
-What day is it?
-Saturday.
22
00:00:56,448 --> 00:00:57,598
It's today!
23
00:00:58,708 --> 00:01:01,226
[exclaims weakly]
24
00:01:03,564 --> 00:01:05,230
[swallows]
Whoopie.
25
00:01:05,307 --> 00:01:07,624
Move over Los Angeles
and Philadelphia.
26
00:01:07,626 --> 00:01:11,311
It's Springfield's turn
to have its drunken sports fans
27
00:01:11,463 --> 00:01:14,631
climb streetlights
and burn down the town.
28
00:01:14,633 --> 00:01:17,467
That's right, finally,
after years of phantom fouls
29
00:01:17,469 --> 00:01:18,819
and butt fumbles,
30
00:01:18,971 --> 00:01:22,730
one of our beloved local
sports teams, the "Pin Pals,"
31
00:01:22,732 --> 00:01:24,658
have made it
to the state championship.
32
00:01:24,734 --> 00:01:27,920
With Springfield's years
of failure at sports, the arts,
33
00:01:27,996 --> 00:01:30,497
and our disastrous toddler
boxing tournament,
34
00:01:30,574 --> 00:01:34,426
it's no exaggeration to say
that our "Super Bowlers" are
35
00:01:34,503 --> 00:01:38,380
garnering tremendous
pin-terest. [chuckling]
36
00:01:38,456 --> 00:01:39,489
♪
37
00:01:39,491 --> 00:01:40,432
♪ Yeah! ♪
38
00:01:43,086 --> 00:01:44,161
♪ Yeah! ♪
39
00:01:44,163 --> 00:01:46,847
Finally, strikes I can support.
40
00:01:46,923 --> 00:01:47,848
[cheering]
41
00:01:47,924 --> 00:01:49,757
Mayor, you've been
accused of being
42
00:01:49,835 --> 00:01:51,852
a fair-weather fan
for this team.
43
00:01:51,928 --> 00:01:53,019
Not true.
44
00:01:53,096 --> 00:01:55,763
I am a dyed-in-the-wool
fan of these...
45
00:01:55,841 --> 00:01:56,857
[quietly]
Bowlers.
46
00:01:56,859 --> 00:01:58,766
Bowlers?! Really?
47
00:01:58,786 --> 00:02:00,360
People still do that?
48
00:02:00,437 --> 00:02:03,530
So you don't mind that they say
you're jumping on the bandwagon?
49
00:02:03,607 --> 00:02:07,459
Let me just say, no one jumps
later or harder than I.
50
00:02:07,536 --> 00:02:11,130
To the Pin Heads,
eh... Pin Pals.
51
00:02:12,282 --> 00:02:14,249
[playing
"For He's a Jolly Good Fellow"]
52
00:02:15,469 --> 00:02:20,380
[announcer] And now, your heroes, the Pin Pals.
53
00:02:20,382 --> 00:02:21,306
[cheering]
54
00:02:21,383 --> 00:02:23,475
[chuckles]
How you doing?
55
00:02:23,552 --> 00:02:24,885
Marry me!
56
00:02:24,961 --> 00:02:26,386
Oh, yeah. Sure, sure.
57
00:02:26,463 --> 00:02:28,630
Anyhoo, I could never
have made it
58
00:02:28,649 --> 00:02:32,634
without my very good friends,
Homer, Carl, Flanders,
59
00:02:32,711 --> 00:02:36,638
and that new guy from Portugal
whose, uh, name I forget.
60
00:02:36,715 --> 00:02:38,615
[speaking Portuguese]
61
00:02:43,497 --> 00:02:45,389
Yi-yo-yu!
62
00:02:45,391 --> 00:02:46,723
[cheering]
63
00:02:46,725 --> 00:02:48,725
He don't speak
the good English or nothing,
64
00:02:48,727 --> 00:02:50,727
but he sure as hell
can roll strikes.
65
00:02:50,729 --> 00:02:54,731
And he's got a very hot sister,
or girlfriend, or mother...
66
00:02:54,733 --> 00:02:56,258
It's really hard to tell.
67
00:02:58,662 --> 00:02:59,994
Eu te amo.
68
00:03:00,072 --> 00:03:01,421
All right.
Based on my experience,
69
00:03:01,498 --> 00:03:02,923
that is not his mother.
70
00:03:02,999 --> 00:03:06,668
Uh, I just want to say, we
aren't just doing this for us.
71
00:03:06,745 --> 00:03:10,597
It is going to mean the world
to this entire town.
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00:03:10,674 --> 00:03:12,340
Excuse me, but I don't see
73
00:03:12,359 --> 00:03:14,935
how the town possibly
benefits from this.
74
00:03:15,011 --> 00:03:16,195
We'd be helped a lot more
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00:03:16,346 --> 00:03:18,605
by a traffic light
on Elm Street.
76
00:03:18,682 --> 00:03:20,090
[booing]
77
00:03:20,092 --> 00:03:23,017
Smack him with his bone!
Smack him good!
78
00:03:23,095 --> 00:03:25,019
Uh, my friends and neighbors--
79
00:03:25,097 --> 00:03:26,371
Reluctant neighbors.
80
00:03:26,448 --> 00:03:30,709
[stammers] I'd just like us
to, uh, bow our heads,
81
00:03:30,786 --> 00:03:32,452
-and thank--
-Stupid Flanders.
82
00:03:32,529 --> 00:03:34,438
Turns everything good
into church.
83
00:03:34,440 --> 00:03:36,957
Just once,
can you not mention God?
84
00:03:37,033 --> 00:03:39,776
All righty, then,
let me just s-say way to go,
85
00:03:39,778 --> 00:03:41,386
Big Guy in the Sky.
86
00:03:41,463 --> 00:03:44,965
[both]
And his son, Jesus Christ. Amen.
87
00:03:45,041 --> 00:03:47,041
Jesus is God's rod.
88
00:03:47,119 --> 00:03:50,287
[mocking laugh]
Jesus is God's rod.
89
00:03:50,289 --> 00:03:51,788
[chuckles] Blasphemy.
90
00:03:52,791 --> 00:03:57,477
And now, O captain,
my captain, Homer Simpson.
91
00:03:57,554 --> 00:03:59,296
[whooping]
92
00:03:59,298 --> 00:04:01,907
There's one word
that defines this team.
93
00:04:01,984 --> 00:04:04,726
And that word isn't "can"
or "might."
94
00:04:04,728 --> 00:04:08,655
That word is, uh, wait a minute.
95
00:04:08,732 --> 00:04:10,490
Cards out of order...
96
00:04:10,567 --> 00:04:12,567
Can't read my own writing here.
97
00:04:12,569 --> 00:04:14,828
Oh, okay, it's "will."
98
00:04:14,980 --> 00:04:17,214
Yes, we will!
99
00:04:18,908 --> 00:04:20,926
[chanting]
Let's go Pin Pals.
100
00:04:21,003 --> 00:04:22,928
Win that title.
101
00:04:23,005 --> 00:04:25,489
Win that title!
102
00:04:25,491 --> 00:04:30,060
-Let's get pickles.
-Let's get pickles.
103
00:04:31,013 --> 00:04:32,253
All right folks, break it up.
104
00:04:32,331 --> 00:04:34,439
Unless you're jerkin'
a gherkin, go on home.
105
00:04:37,519 --> 00:04:38,835
[happy groaning]
106
00:04:38,837 --> 00:04:42,172
Oh, Homie.
Today was magnificent.
107
00:04:42,190 --> 00:04:44,432
I always thought
bowling was just an excuse
108
00:04:44,510 --> 00:04:47,677
to get away from the kids
and drink a lot of beer.
109
00:04:47,679 --> 00:04:50,455
What? No. Never. What?
110
00:04:50,532 --> 00:04:53,683
But now it's made
the whole town proud of you.
111
00:04:53,685 --> 00:04:55,777
And I'm part of the town,
112
00:04:55,854 --> 00:04:57,445
so this comes from the heart.
113
00:04:57,523 --> 00:05:00,206
Ugh, I can't say it.
I don't want to say it.
114
00:05:00,283 --> 00:05:02,192
You can't make me say it,
and I won't say it.
115
00:05:02,194 --> 00:05:03,693
Or even think it!
116
00:05:03,695 --> 00:05:05,095
Aw, thank you, son.
117
00:05:06,140 --> 00:05:08,289
I love you all. Water my plants.
118
00:05:08,367 --> 00:05:10,124
You don't have any plants.
119
00:05:10,202 --> 00:05:12,060
Then we're good. Bye.
120
00:05:17,543 --> 00:05:19,026
♪
121
00:05:25,734 --> 00:05:27,217
Ain't this the life?
122
00:05:27,219 --> 00:05:28,568
Whirly birding,
123
00:05:28,570 --> 00:05:31,221
full can of soda,
two bags of peanuts.
124
00:05:31,223 --> 00:05:32,722
I've never known such luxury.
125
00:05:32,724 --> 00:05:34,891
I could die right now
a happy man.
126
00:05:34,910 --> 00:05:36,835
[Barney]
This is your captain speaking.
127
00:05:36,912 --> 00:05:39,062
Please buckle up
as we attempt to clear
128
00:05:39,064 --> 00:05:40,672
the treacherous mountain peak.
129
00:05:40,749 --> 00:05:41,831
Wha--?!
130
00:05:43,159 --> 00:05:46,595
No worries. Every chopper
in town takes this route.
131
00:05:51,167 --> 00:05:52,926
[alarm buzzing]
132
00:05:53,854 --> 00:05:57,097
Overweight?
How is that possible?
133
00:05:57,173 --> 00:06:01,101
Pilot, five passengers,
five 14-pound balls...
134
00:06:01,177 --> 00:06:03,028
Uh, I wanted
a little extra oomph,
135
00:06:03,179 --> 00:06:05,772
so I actually brought
a 16-pound ball.
136
00:06:05,849 --> 00:06:09,701
Me, too. By which I mean
I brought two 16-pound balls.
137
00:06:09,778 --> 00:06:12,112
Anyone else want to brag
about their balls?
138
00:06:12,188 --> 00:06:13,538
I mean, seriously?
139
00:06:13,615 --> 00:06:16,524
Fausto bring this.
For good luck.
140
00:06:16,526 --> 00:06:18,710
Yi-yo-yu!
141
00:06:20,772 --> 00:06:23,215
I'm gonna have to put her
down on the mountain.
142
00:06:23,291 --> 00:06:25,509
Of all the times to be sober.
143
00:06:27,129 --> 00:06:28,720
[both whimpering]
144
00:06:28,797 --> 00:06:31,014
This could be it.
145
00:06:32,951 --> 00:06:34,726
At least I can say goodbye.
146
00:06:34,803 --> 00:06:36,620
-[Marge] Hello?
-Marge...
147
00:06:36,622 --> 00:06:39,789
We're not home now, so please don't rob us.
148
00:06:39,791 --> 00:06:41,048
Leave a message.
149
00:06:41,126 --> 00:06:44,127
[pants] Listen, Marge,
we've had our arguments,
150
00:06:44,146 --> 00:06:46,813
we've had our things,
but thank God I have the time
151
00:06:46,890 --> 00:06:48,556
to tell you how I really feel...
152
00:06:48,634 --> 00:06:50,725
-[automated voice] Mailbox full.
-D'oh!
153
00:06:50,802 --> 00:06:52,661
[alarm continues buzzing]
154
00:06:54,306 --> 00:06:56,164
-[alarm wailing]
-[all exclaiming]
155
00:07:01,755 --> 00:07:03,088
Whee! Ah!
156
00:07:08,320 --> 00:07:11,245
As your captain,
one thing is clear:
157
00:07:11,323 --> 00:07:12,989
we must get off this mountain.
158
00:07:12,991 --> 00:07:14,658
And I'm no expert on mountains,
159
00:07:14,660 --> 00:07:17,269
but I say down is this way.
160
00:07:19,665 --> 00:07:21,022
D'oh!
161
00:07:24,352 --> 00:07:25,569
D'oh!
162
00:07:29,283 --> 00:07:30,765
-What the...?
-[satellite beeping]
163
00:07:30,842 --> 00:07:32,284
[Carl]
I wouldn't leave
just yet, Homer.
164
00:07:32,360 --> 00:07:34,786
Our new friend there
still hasn't woken up.
165
00:07:34,938 --> 00:07:37,271
Oh, God!
Spanish-what's-his-name.
166
00:07:37,349 --> 00:07:40,208
It's Portuguese-what's-his-name,
you idiot.
167
00:07:40,794 --> 00:07:41,868
[Marge]
Chief?
168
00:07:41,945 --> 00:07:44,187
-Is there any word?
-'Fraid not.
169
00:07:44,189 --> 00:07:46,873
Apparently they knocked out
a cell phone tower
170
00:07:46,950 --> 00:07:48,115
on the way down.
171
00:07:48,193 --> 00:07:51,027
Wait, wait!
Uh, now we're getting somewhere.
172
00:07:51,029 --> 00:07:52,304
Yeah.
173
00:07:53,289 --> 00:07:56,216
Oh, thank God, man.
I was starting to lose all hope.
174
00:07:56,292 --> 00:07:58,051
[Italian accent]
Oh, you hungry cops
175
00:07:58,127 --> 00:07:59,703
put-a my kids through college.
176
00:07:59,705 --> 00:08:02,814
Seven-a sisters.
Not the women's colleges.
177
00:08:02,891 --> 00:08:04,483
I have-a seven daughters:
178
00:08:04,559 --> 00:08:07,635
Gia, Mia, Pia, Tia, Zia,
179
00:08:07,713 --> 00:08:10,396
Iphigenia, and then Emily,
for some reason.
180
00:08:10,473 --> 00:08:11,531
I don't know.
181
00:08:13,068 --> 00:08:15,476
Hmm, still barely breathing.
182
00:08:15,554 --> 00:08:18,163
[sighs] If the Lord could
carry His cross,
183
00:08:18,165 --> 00:08:20,390
I can carry this poor soul.
184
00:08:20,392 --> 00:08:22,392
[Homer]
Huh? Well, look at that.
185
00:08:22,394 --> 00:08:26,004
Flanders risking his own life to save another.
186
00:08:26,081 --> 00:08:27,080
Wow.
187
00:08:27,156 --> 00:08:29,415
Homer, could you get
my water bottle?
188
00:08:29,492 --> 00:08:30,967
No.
189
00:08:34,589 --> 00:08:35,997
-[phone ringing]
-A phone!
190
00:08:36,074 --> 00:08:37,182
Someone's got cell service.
191
00:08:37,333 --> 00:08:38,925
Hello, Moe speaking.
192
00:08:39,002 --> 00:08:40,927
Hi, I'm looking
for a Mr. Simpson.
193
00:08:41,004 --> 00:08:42,412
First name, Homer.
194
00:08:42,414 --> 00:08:44,080
Oh, I recognize that voice.
195
00:08:44,082 --> 00:08:45,598
You ever call me again.
you little puke,
196
00:08:45,675 --> 00:08:49,194
I'm gonna cut you up, use your
intestines as violin strings,
197
00:08:49,271 --> 00:08:50,937
and play
"Flight of the Bumblebee!"
198
00:08:51,089 --> 00:08:53,681
I'm gonna go
Rimsky-Korsakov on yas.
199
00:08:53,759 --> 00:08:56,017
I'm just trying to find my dad.
200
00:08:56,094 --> 00:08:58,278
Yeah, right.
Try looking in hell, hell boy!
201
00:08:58,354 --> 00:09:00,096
[Bart over phone]
Ay caramba!
202
00:09:00,098 --> 00:09:01,614
Moe, you idiot!
203
00:09:01,691 --> 00:09:04,042
You were the only one
with cellular service.
204
00:09:04,119 --> 00:09:07,361
[exclaims] What have I done?
Me and my anger issues.
205
00:09:07,439 --> 00:09:10,456
Dr. Rubenstein's gonna be
so disappointed.
206
00:09:10,533 --> 00:09:12,092
[grunts]
207
00:09:13,036 --> 00:09:14,702
[muttering]
Stupid avalanche.
208
00:09:14,780 --> 00:09:17,055
[line ringing, beeps]
209
00:09:17,132 --> 00:09:18,056
[phone beeps]
210
00:09:18,133 --> 00:09:20,141
[clicking]
211
00:09:20,969 --> 00:09:22,786
No connection.
212
00:09:22,788 --> 00:09:24,287
And it's almost night.
213
00:09:24,289 --> 00:09:27,290
[sobs]
I feel so much regret.
214
00:09:27,292 --> 00:09:31,144
I never got the chance
to tell my son I loved him.
215
00:09:31,220 --> 00:09:34,055
Never? You're 87 years old.
216
00:09:34,132 --> 00:09:36,466
Uh, it was on my "to do" list.
217
00:09:36,468 --> 00:09:37,483
Take a look.
218
00:09:37,560 --> 00:09:38,493
See?
219
00:09:42,974 --> 00:09:45,825
Still no sign
of the missing bowlers.
220
00:09:45,902 --> 00:09:47,327
And one thing I must say now,
221
00:09:47,403 --> 00:09:49,570
there is nothing
a newscaster loves better
222
00:09:49,648 --> 00:09:50,997
than missing people,
223
00:09:50,999 --> 00:09:52,924
be they on a mountain,
in a submarine,
224
00:09:53,001 --> 00:09:55,242
or, preferably,
deep under rubble.
225
00:09:55,262 --> 00:09:56,836
Even if we know they're dead,
226
00:09:56,913 --> 00:09:58,913
we'll keep it quiet
for a few days,
227
00:09:58,990 --> 00:10:00,657
just to keep the ratings up.
228
00:10:00,659 --> 00:10:03,918
And now, tonight's lotto,
which no one ever wins.
229
00:10:03,995 --> 00:10:05,562
[chuckling]
230
00:10:06,498 --> 00:10:07,588
No...!
231
00:10:07,666 --> 00:10:10,516
[voice fading]
Why am I talking like this?
232
00:10:10,593 --> 00:10:14,020
I'm not falling,
just clinging to the edge!
233
00:10:15,006 --> 00:10:18,617
Oh, man, that was close.
How deep is that thing, anyway?
234
00:10:18,693 --> 00:10:21,620
Only one way to find out.
235
00:10:24,532 --> 00:10:26,215
[ball clatters
through bowling pins]
236
00:10:26,217 --> 00:10:29,519
Gentlemen, I fear
we're starting to hallucinate.
237
00:10:29,521 --> 00:10:30,962
That's crazy talk.
238
00:10:31,039 --> 00:10:33,131
Barney, pick up the spare.
239
00:10:35,785 --> 00:10:36,968
[pin clunks]
240
00:10:38,472 --> 00:10:41,622
Listen to me. Time to get your
cuckoos back in your clocks.
241
00:10:41,700 --> 00:10:44,033
We're approaching
the point of no return.
242
00:10:44,035 --> 00:10:46,419
Flanders, h-how do I put this?
243
00:10:46,496 --> 00:10:48,129
I was thinking
I might want to...
244
00:10:48,206 --> 00:10:50,315
oh, this is so embarrassing...
245
00:10:50,433 --> 00:10:51,391
pray.
246
00:10:51,467 --> 00:10:55,136
There are no atheists
in foxholes.
247
00:10:55,213 --> 00:10:57,213
Oh, yes.
Foxes are very religious.
248
00:10:57,215 --> 00:10:59,883
I'd be praying if a bunch
of guys in red vests on horses
249
00:10:59,885 --> 00:11:01,234
were trying to kill me.
250
00:11:01,310 --> 00:11:03,386
Now, make with the Our Father.
251
00:11:03,388 --> 00:11:05,497
♪
252
00:11:05,573 --> 00:11:08,224
[bowling announcer]
Still no word on the Springfield team.
253
00:11:08,226 --> 00:11:12,253
Please observe an anticipatory 60-second moment of silence.
254
00:11:14,065 --> 00:11:15,507
[ball rolling]
255
00:11:15,583 --> 00:11:17,008
[bowler]
Wasn't me.
256
00:11:18,494 --> 00:11:19,594
Strike.
257
00:11:21,256 --> 00:11:24,349
My friends, if we just
have faith in the good Lord
258
00:11:24,426 --> 00:11:26,518
who blew us to bits
on the side of the mountain,
259
00:11:26,594 --> 00:11:27,686
we'll be okay.
260
00:11:27,762 --> 00:11:30,838
Hey, Churchy Joe,
tell that to my piggies!
261
00:11:30,916 --> 00:11:32,524
The word "frostbite"
sounds so cutesy
262
00:11:32,600 --> 00:11:35,084
when people get it
at Buffalo Bills games,
263
00:11:35,086 --> 00:11:37,344
but when it happens to you, ugh!
264
00:11:37,422 --> 00:11:40,924
Well, I think things
will be just fine.
265
00:11:40,926 --> 00:11:43,776
Really? And who made you
Optimist Prime?
266
00:11:43,853 --> 00:11:47,113
I broke open my first aid kit.
267
00:11:47,190 --> 00:11:50,024
-[gasping]
-Anybody else holding out
on anything?
268
00:11:50,101 --> 00:11:51,692
Like me with these
two bags of peanuts,
269
00:11:51,770 --> 00:11:55,755
which I'm going to eat right
now despite my peanut allergy.
270
00:11:57,200 --> 00:11:58,717
[muffled grunt]
271
00:12:00,369 --> 00:12:03,221
See this? This is the face
of a survivor.
272
00:12:03,372 --> 00:12:04,797
[chuckles]
273
00:12:04,874 --> 00:12:07,467
Uh, Christmas decorations?
274
00:12:07,543 --> 00:12:09,543
Uh, in October?
275
00:12:09,621 --> 00:12:12,397
We've done everything we can
to help your father, so...
276
00:12:12,474 --> 00:12:15,124
I thought this would
help us feel better.
277
00:12:15,126 --> 00:12:17,810
[sobbing]
278
00:12:17,963 --> 00:12:20,721
Bart, they say a kid
is only as happy
279
00:12:20,799 --> 00:12:22,723
as their saddest parent.
280
00:12:22,801 --> 00:12:25,034
♪
281
00:12:28,397 --> 00:12:30,564
Zoom in on
the heartbroken family.
282
00:12:30,584 --> 00:12:31,916
Zoom, I say!
283
00:12:31,918 --> 00:12:33,418
No. I can't.
284
00:12:33,495 --> 00:12:35,828
I didn't go to journalism
school to be a ghoul.
285
00:12:35,905 --> 00:12:37,922
I went because
it was an easy major.
286
00:12:37,999 --> 00:12:41,818
Take your soul and get the hell
out of local news.
287
00:12:41,820 --> 00:12:42,986
[wind howling]
288
00:12:42,988 --> 00:12:45,387
Fausto... not good.
289
00:12:45,389 --> 00:12:47,490
My friend, we will get you back
290
00:12:47,492 --> 00:12:50,751
and then you and I will have
a grand old time.
291
00:12:50,829 --> 00:12:52,586
I hear you silently agreeing.
292
00:12:52,664 --> 00:12:55,348
-[groans weakly]
-We'll go fishing
and make s'mores
293
00:12:55,424 --> 00:12:57,333
and we'll be best friends.
294
00:12:57,335 --> 00:12:58,943
You're a Catholic
and I'm a Christian,
295
00:12:59,020 --> 00:13:00,686
but we'll work through that.
296
00:13:00,763 --> 00:13:02,947
Ooh, more silent agreement.
297
00:13:03,024 --> 00:13:04,524
Here, my friend, let me...
let me set you down
298
00:13:04,600 --> 00:13:06,659
so we can talk about
our great future.
299
00:13:07,862 --> 00:13:10,530
Save your breath, pal.
He's dead.
300
00:13:10,682 --> 00:13:13,366
No! No, he's not dead.
H-He's just resting.
301
00:13:13,442 --> 00:13:15,685
Oh, Lord,
you can't be this cruel.
302
00:13:15,687 --> 00:13:18,855
Sorry, man. I knew
he was a goner a while ago,
303
00:13:18,857 --> 00:13:21,040
but I liked
watching you carry him.
304
00:13:21,117 --> 00:13:22,692
We were gonna make s'mores.
305
00:13:22,694 --> 00:13:25,378
Now there'll just be s'nothing.
[sniffles]
306
00:13:25,454 --> 00:13:27,955
Poor Fausto. Poor Flanders.
307
00:13:28,033 --> 00:13:29,790
You really tried, man.
308
00:13:29,868 --> 00:13:31,367
Oh, I mean it.
309
00:13:31,369 --> 00:13:33,219
I'm not just hugging you
because you're warm,
310
00:13:33,296 --> 00:13:35,054
although that's
a big part of it.
311
00:13:35,131 --> 00:13:36,314
You're a good man.
312
00:13:36,391 --> 00:13:38,316
Homer, I knew you had a heart.
313
00:13:38,393 --> 00:13:40,634
Just like the Cowardly Lion.
314
00:13:40,712 --> 00:13:44,155
He always had a heart.
What he lacked was courage.
315
00:13:44,232 --> 00:13:46,807
And the Scarecrow
lacked straw, right?
316
00:13:46,885 --> 00:13:48,384
No, he was nothing but straw.
317
00:13:48,386 --> 00:13:51,979
Wow. I'm looking at everything
with new eyes.
318
00:13:51,981 --> 00:13:53,890
Just like the Tin Man.
319
00:13:53,892 --> 00:13:55,908
That's not what the Tin Man...
320
00:13:55,985 --> 00:13:57,410
Look, just give me another hug.
321
00:13:58,413 --> 00:14:01,822
All right, gentlemen, there's
a subject we need to discuss.
322
00:14:01,900 --> 00:14:04,992
Now we've waited long enough,
I'm just going to say it:
323
00:14:05,070 --> 00:14:07,512
It is time that we resorted
to cannibalism.
324
00:14:07,589 --> 00:14:08,680
Mmm.
325
00:14:08,756 --> 00:14:10,923
What? No. Absolutely not.
326
00:14:11,076 --> 00:14:12,592
I'm not saying we eat him.
327
00:14:12,668 --> 00:14:15,219
I'm saying we prepare him
to be eaten.
328
00:14:15,296 --> 00:14:17,838
If he gets frozen, we'll just
end up with junk food,
329
00:14:17,858 --> 00:14:19,749
like his hair or his toenails.
330
00:14:19,751 --> 00:14:20,750
What?
331
00:14:20,752 --> 00:14:22,026
Stop! Stop! Stop!
332
00:14:22,863 --> 00:14:24,437
Bawk! Bawk! Bawk!
333
00:14:24,513 --> 00:14:27,031
Just gimme a wing. Come on.
You got two, come on!
334
00:14:27,108 --> 00:14:29,284
No eating people.
335
00:14:31,687 --> 00:14:33,496
♪
336
00:14:35,375 --> 00:14:38,025
[Flanders]
If I eat these, and don't share them...
337
00:14:38,103 --> 00:14:39,785
it breaks every value I have.
338
00:14:39,862 --> 00:14:43,439
But just thinking about it also means I've sinned. Hmm.
339
00:14:43,441 --> 00:14:45,441
I must say, it's a lot easier to have this debate
340
00:14:45,443 --> 00:14:47,218
with my mouth full of matzah.
341
00:14:47,295 --> 00:14:49,053
-Flanders?
-[gulps]
342
00:14:49,130 --> 00:14:51,372
-Yes?
-It's so clear to me now.
343
00:14:51,449 --> 00:14:53,057
You're the better man, Ned.
344
00:14:53,134 --> 00:14:54,300
Well, that's not true.
345
00:14:54,302 --> 00:14:56,177
You've got the highest average
on the team.
346
00:14:56,212 --> 00:14:57,562
I'm nothing compared to you.
347
00:14:57,639 --> 00:14:59,972
Have you noticed I haven't
called you "stupid Flanders"
348
00:15:00,049 --> 00:15:01,382
once on this mountain?
349
00:15:01,459 --> 00:15:03,884
What do you want,
a Nobel Peace Prize?
350
00:15:03,962 --> 00:15:06,887
Sorry, sorry,
I really do appreciate it.
351
00:15:06,965 --> 00:15:08,222
It's just that
I've come to realize
352
00:15:08,299 --> 00:15:10,466
I'm not a natural leader,
like you.
353
00:15:10,468 --> 00:15:13,244
The Lord has a time and a place
for everyone, my friend.
354
00:15:13,321 --> 00:15:14,971
Homer, if the high altitude
355
00:15:14,973 --> 00:15:16,489
hasn't turned
your brain to mulch,
356
00:15:16,565 --> 00:15:18,399
would you like
to lead us in prayer?
357
00:15:18,476 --> 00:15:21,252
Heavenly father,
who art in truck stop.
358
00:15:21,329 --> 00:15:24,422
Ping-pong. Rock.
Zipper. Jambalaya.
359
00:15:24,499 --> 00:15:25,831
[moans]
360
00:15:25,908 --> 00:15:27,817
-[coughing]
-Now, don't worry.
361
00:15:27,819 --> 00:15:30,153
Just 'cause one of us
has a tickle in his whistle
362
00:15:30,155 --> 00:15:31,930
doesn't mean... [coughs]
363
00:15:32,006 --> 00:15:34,182
[coughing, wheezing]
364
00:15:36,102 --> 00:15:39,345
We're in the tenth frame,
people.
365
00:15:39,422 --> 00:15:42,589
If you want me to eat youse
later, just say nothing.
366
00:15:42,667 --> 00:15:44,609
[moans weakly]
367
00:15:44,760 --> 00:15:46,694
♪
368
00:15:54,621 --> 00:15:56,512
-♪
-[snoring]
369
00:15:56,514 --> 00:15:58,272
Chief, any news?
370
00:15:58,349 --> 00:16:00,016
About what? Oh, right.
371
00:16:00,018 --> 00:16:02,109
Um, Marge, with conditions
372
00:16:02,128 --> 00:16:04,445
as bad as they are
on that mountain,
373
00:16:04,522 --> 00:16:08,207
even if they somehow
did survive the crash, uh,
374
00:16:08,284 --> 00:16:10,376
oh, how can I put this gently?
375
00:16:10,453 --> 00:16:12,119
What do you mean, "gently"?
376
00:16:12,197 --> 00:16:13,972
You basically told me
they're dead!
377
00:16:14,048 --> 00:16:16,641
Will you please
leave my family be?
378
00:16:16,718 --> 00:16:19,218
[sighs] Never easy being a cop.
379
00:16:19,220 --> 00:16:20,703
Then why did you become one?
380
00:16:20,705 --> 00:16:23,556
'Cause I look great in blue.
It goes with my eyes.
381
00:16:23,632 --> 00:16:25,057
Your eyes are black.
382
00:16:25,134 --> 00:16:27,059
Well, I've wasted my life.
383
00:16:27,136 --> 00:16:28,802
[grunting]
384
00:16:28,880 --> 00:16:30,396
Patty and Selma?
385
00:16:30,473 --> 00:16:32,824
Oh, this day
couldn't get any worse.
386
00:16:32,900 --> 00:16:35,142
Is what my dad would say
if he were alive.
387
00:16:35,220 --> 00:16:37,720
Marge, dear,
at a time like this,
388
00:16:37,722 --> 00:16:40,498
all we want to do
is sit and hold your hand.
389
00:16:40,575 --> 00:16:42,959
No talk. Just love.
390
00:16:44,062 --> 00:16:46,320
I did want to say one thing:
391
00:16:46,397 --> 00:16:48,339
"Better get your booty shorts
to the cleaners
392
00:16:48,416 --> 00:16:50,824
"because you're gonna be
the most popular widow
393
00:16:50,902 --> 00:16:52,735
on the pickleball circuit."
394
00:16:52,737 --> 00:16:54,178
He's not dead!
395
00:16:54,255 --> 00:16:56,088
Well, we can't be sure...
396
00:16:56,165 --> 00:16:58,499
But we did use generative AI
397
00:16:58,576 --> 00:17:01,001
to make an image of Homer
as a corpse.
398
00:17:01,079 --> 00:17:03,187
To get you used
to the idea, dear.
399
00:17:06,751 --> 00:17:09,027
Some of these we had
even before the crash.
400
00:17:09,103 --> 00:17:11,254
He's not dead. He's not dead!
401
00:17:11,256 --> 00:17:14,198
In fact, I bet he's
even going to save the day.
402
00:17:14,275 --> 00:17:17,260
-[suppressed laughter]
-Can you excuse us?
403
00:17:17,278 --> 00:17:19,704
We need to go outside and laugh.
404
00:17:19,781 --> 00:17:22,390
[wind howling]
405
00:17:22,466 --> 00:17:23,949
[Homer]
Oh, is this it?
406
00:17:24,026 --> 00:17:25,768
My story ends now?
407
00:17:25,770 --> 00:17:30,506
Buried in the snow, frozen alone like broccoli in my freezer?
408
00:17:32,460 --> 00:17:36,279
My dear son,
are you ready to join me?
409
00:17:36,281 --> 00:17:39,223
I am, Mommy.
Take me to the good place.
410
00:17:39,300 --> 00:17:43,377
Um... That's not exactly
where I am.
411
00:17:43,454 --> 00:17:46,289
They are very hard
on former left-wing radicals
412
00:17:46,291 --> 00:17:47,473
in the afterlife.
413
00:17:47,550 --> 00:17:48,808
What are you saying?
414
00:17:48,884 --> 00:17:52,128
I'm in a place with
a lot of incredible people.
415
00:17:52,130 --> 00:17:55,406
Machiavelli, Che Guevara,
416
00:17:55,558 --> 00:17:57,558
Casanova.
417
00:17:57,635 --> 00:18:00,561
Casanova. Oh, Casanova.
418
00:18:00,638 --> 00:18:05,658
I thought dying in 1798 would
keep me from being MeToo'd.
419
00:18:05,734 --> 00:18:07,502
Um... Um...
420
00:18:10,164 --> 00:18:13,091
Mom? What are you making?
421
00:18:13,167 --> 00:18:16,243
All of your father's favorites.
For when he comes back.
422
00:18:16,321 --> 00:18:18,412
Pork chops, glazed ham,
423
00:18:18,489 --> 00:18:21,933
fried hooves, snout surprise.
424
00:18:22,009 --> 00:18:24,677
Oh, I can't be in the same room
with that smell.
425
00:18:24,829 --> 00:18:27,513
Yeah, it's pretty disgusting.
426
00:18:27,590 --> 00:18:29,732
♪
427
00:18:32,761 --> 00:18:34,094
[Homer]
Hey, someone's cooking.
428
00:18:34,172 --> 00:18:35,988
Marge is cooking!
429
00:18:36,858 --> 00:18:38,783
I can't die here.
430
00:18:38,860 --> 00:18:40,343
My family needs me.
431
00:18:40,345 --> 00:18:42,011
My story is still being written.
432
00:18:42,013 --> 00:18:45,939
And the next word
in it is yeeargh!
433
00:18:46,017 --> 00:18:47,500
[grunts]
434
00:18:49,020 --> 00:18:51,537
You're coming too, friends.
435
00:18:51,614 --> 00:18:53,297
♪
436
00:19:01,883 --> 00:19:04,700
Hidilly doodily, Saviorino!
437
00:19:04,702 --> 00:19:09,188
For once, Flanders, you owe me.
438
00:19:12,894 --> 00:19:15,895
[organ music playing]
439
00:19:15,897 --> 00:19:19,231
Homer Simpson.
Hmm, what can I say?
440
00:19:19,308 --> 00:19:22,827
He slept through Mass.
He'd floss with a Bible ribbon.
441
00:19:22,978 --> 00:19:26,813
I'm afraid he leaves behind
no good deed to remember him by.
442
00:19:26,833 --> 00:19:31,652
Just another fat pinball
slipping past God's flippers.
443
00:19:31,729 --> 00:19:34,730
Here's something
the church never heard of:
444
00:19:34,732 --> 00:19:37,416
A guy coming back from the dead!
445
00:19:37,493 --> 00:19:40,011
-[all gasp]
-God bless him.
446
00:19:40,087 --> 00:19:42,847
My bald, beautiful boy.
447
00:19:42,924 --> 00:19:44,498
No good deeds, Reverend?
448
00:19:44,517 --> 00:19:46,909
I've got a new end
for your eulogy:
449
00:19:46,911 --> 00:19:49,261
Thank God for Homer Simpson!
450
00:19:49,338 --> 00:19:52,690
That's my dad.
Suck it, other dads.
451
00:19:54,176 --> 00:19:56,752
You miss two birthdays
and a school play
452
00:19:56,754 --> 00:19:59,447
and suddenly you're the bad guy.
453
00:20:02,184 --> 00:20:04,035
I knew you'd make it back.
454
00:20:04,186 --> 00:20:07,688
I knew it. I knew it.
455
00:20:07,765 --> 00:20:11,024
You were wrong.
You were wrong!
456
00:20:11,102 --> 00:20:13,377
And you were wrong,
preacher man.
457
00:20:13,454 --> 00:20:15,213
Just premature.
458
00:20:15,289 --> 00:20:19,199
I knew he'd make it.
Since five seconds ago.
459
00:20:19,277 --> 00:20:21,034
♪ For he's a jolly good fellow ♪
460
00:20:21,112 --> 00:20:23,203
♪ He's now a jolly good fellow ♪
461
00:20:23,281 --> 00:20:25,872
♪ For he's a jolly good fellow ♪
462
00:20:25,950 --> 00:20:27,800
♪ He totally didn't die ♪
463
00:20:27,876 --> 00:20:30,135
♪ He totally didn't die. ♪
464
00:20:30,212 --> 00:20:33,380
Simpson, I always knew
you had it in you.
465
00:20:33,458 --> 00:20:36,400
That'll do, Flanders.
That'll do.
466
00:20:36,477 --> 00:20:37,884
Aww.
467
00:20:37,962 --> 00:20:39,645
Captioning sponsored by
20th CENTURY FOX TELEVISION
468
00:20:39,722 --> 00:20:40,813
and FOX BROADCASTING COMPANY
469
00:20:40,889 --> 00:20:42,406
and TOYOTA.
470
00:20:42,483 --> 00:20:45,284
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
access.wgbh.org
471
00:20:50,399 --> 00:20:52,491
I'm alive! I'm alive! I'm alive!
472
00:20:52,568 --> 00:20:54,977
Well, you don't have
to make a meal out of it.
473
00:20:54,979 --> 00:20:56,403
Yi-yo-yu!
474
00:20:56,481 --> 00:20:58,739
♪ For he's a jolly good fellow ♪
475
00:20:58,816 --> 00:21:00,165
♪ He's now a jolly good fellow ♪
476
00:21:00,242 --> 00:21:03,168
♪ For he's a jolly good fellow ♪
477
00:21:03,245 --> 00:21:05,930
♪ He totally didn't die. ♪
478
00:21:06,007 --> 00:21:08,182
♪
479
00:21:28,863 --> 00:21:30,538
Shh.
480
00:21:31,607 --> 00:21:33,457
[bowling balls clatter]
34438
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