All language subtitles for Club.Paradise.1986

Downloaded from
YTS.MX

Official YIFY movies site:
YTS.MX

[BELL RINGS]

* ONE, TWO, THREE,
FOUR, FIVE, SIX, SEVEN *

* MONDAY'S CALLING YOU
TOO EARLY *

* WHEN YOU'RE
SOUND ASLEEP *

* BELLS ARE RINGING
BY YOUR BEDSIDE *

* AND OUT IN THE STREETS *

* USUALLY MONDAY'S
LONG ENOUGH *

* BUT THIS IS
JUST THE START *

* TUESDAY'S JUST
THE SAME AS MONDAY *

* WITHOUT
THE SURPRISING PART *

* WEDNESDAY'S
POINT OF NO RETURN *

* WHEN YOU'VE SQUANDERED
ALL YOU'VE EARNED *

* ONE, TWO, THREE,
FOUR, FIVE, SIX *

* SEVEN-DAY WEEKEND *

* ONE, TWO, THREE,
FOUR, FIVE, SIX *

* SEVEN-DAY WEEKEND **

HOW COME THE DOG
GETS TO SIT IN THERE

WHILE WE'RE
FREEZING OUT HERE?

IT'S CRUEL
TO LET HIM OUT.

HE'S JUST
A DUMB ANIMAL.

NO, DAVE,
WE'RE THE DUMB ANIMALS.

KEEP IT RIGHT THERE.

OVER TO THE SIDE.

YEAH, YEAH,
STAY BACK.

A LITTLE HELP!

COME ON, COME ON,
RIGHT OVER HERE.

WHERE WERE YOU
ON THE STAIRWAY,
ASSHOLE?

I WAS LOOKING FOR YOU.

OH, YEAH,
LOOKING FOR ME.

THIS IS
MY KIND OF NIGHT, DAVE.

THE WIND-CHILL FACTOR'S
10 BELOW ZERO,

THAT BUILDING'S
AN INFERNO,

MY STOMACH'S
A GODDAMN VOLCANO,

AND I GOT AN ICICLE SNOT
HANGING FROM MY NOSE.

THIS IS MY LAST FIRE.
I'M HANGING UP MY HOSE.

BULLSHIT, JACK.

I'VE HEARD THAT
A THOUSAND TIMES.

BULLSHIT? OH, YEAH?

READ THIS, PAL,
AND WEEP.

"PARADISE FOR PENNIES,
A GARDEN OF EDEN,

"BUILT ON
A SECLUDED LAGOON

"WITH PRIVATE DOCK
AND SPEEDBOAT INCLUDED.

CONTACT MR. BANKS,
SAINT NICHOLAS."

WHERE THE HELL
IS SAINT NICHOLAS?

IN THE ISLANDS,
DAVE.

WHICH ISLANDS?

NICE, WARM ISLANDS.

[EXPLOSION]

MY BABY!

DON'T WORRY.
EASY NOW.

PLEASE GET MY BABY!

DAMN IT. HAND ME
THAT CROWBAR.

ONCE YOU'RE IN THERE,

LET ME KNOW
WHAT'S HAPPENING.

WHERE'S HE GOING?
GET IN AFTER HIM!

AW, SHIT!

[RUFF]

[RUFF RUFF]

[GROWL]

COME ON, BABY.
IT'S ME, JACK.

COME ON.

[GROWL]

COME ON, BABY.

OH, HO!
YOU WANT TO PLAY.

YOU FURRY PIECE OF SHIT.

[RUFF RUFF]

GET THE NET!

COME ON, BABY.

[RUFF RUFF RUFF]

COME ON, BABY.

GO GET IT!

[CROWD CHEERING]

AAH!
AAH!

JACK! JACK!

OH, JESUS!

JACK!

DAVE.

JACK.

DAVE.

I'M HERE, JACK.

I QUIT.

JACK, CAN YOU HEAR ME?

[SIREN]

SHIT.

JACK?

JACK?

* I THINK
I'M SOPHISTICATED *

* 'CAUSE I'M LIVING MY LIFE
LIKE A GOOD HOMO SAPIEN *

* BUT ALL AROUND ME
EVERYBODY'S MULTIPLYING *

* AND THEY'RE WALKING ROUND
LIKE FLIES, MAN *

* SO I'M NO BETTER
THAN THE ANIMALS *

* SITTING IN THE CAGES
IN THE ZOO, MAN *

* 'CAUSE COMPARED
TO THE FLOWERS *

* AND THE BIRDS
IN THE TREES *

* I AM AN APE MAN *

* I THINK I'M SO EDUCATED,
AND I'M SO CIVILIZED *

* 'CAUSE I'M
A STRICT VEGETARIAN *

* BUT WITH THE OVERPOPULATION
AND INFLATION AND STARVATION *

* AND THE CRAZY POLITICIANS *

* I DON'T FEEL SAFE
IN THIS WORLD NO MORE *

* I DON'T WANT TO DIE
IN A NUCLEAR WAR *

* I WANT TO SAIL AWAY
TO A DISTANT SHORE *

* AND MAKE LIKE
AN APE MAN *

* I'M AN APE MAN,
I'M AN APE, APE MAN *

* OH, I'M AN APE MAN *

* I'M A KING KONG MAN,
I'M A VOODOO MAN *

* OH, I'M AN APE MAN *

* 'CAUSE COMPARED TO THE SUN
THAT SITS IN THE SKY *

* COMPARED TO THE CLOUDS
AS THEY ROLL BY *

* COMPARED TO THE BATS
AND THE SPIDERS AND FLIES *

* I AM AN APE MAN *

* I'M AN APE MAN,
I'M AN APE, APE MAN *

* OH, I'M AN APE MAN *

* I'M A KING KONG MAN,
I'M A VOODOO MAN *

* OH, I'M AN APE MAN *

* I LOOK OUT THE WINDOW,
BUT I CAN'T SEE THE SKY *

* THE AIR POLLUTION
IS A-FOGGIN' UP MY EYES *

* I GOTTA GET OUT
OF THIS CITY ALIVE *

* AND MAKE LIKE
AN APE MAN *

* LA LA LA LA LA LA LA *

* A-COME ON
AND LOVE ME *

* BE MY APE-MAN GIRL *

* AND WE BE SO HAPPY *

* IN MY APE-MAN WORLD *

* I'M AN APE MAN,
I'M AN APE, APE MAN *

* OH, I'M AN APE MAN *

* I'M A KING KONG MAN,
I'M A VOODOO MAN *

* OH, I'M AN APE MAN *

* I'LL BE YOUR TARZAN,
YOU'LL BE MY JANE *

* I'LL KEEP YOU WARM,
AND YOU'LL KEEP ME SANE *

* WE'LL SIT IN THE TREES
AND EAT BANANAS ALL DAY *

* JUST LIKE AN APE MAN *

* I'M AN APE MAN,
I'M AN APE, APE MAN *

* OH, I'M AN APE MAN *

* I'M A KING KONG MAN,
I'M A VOODOO MAN *

* OH, I'M AN APE MAN *

* I DON'T FEEL SAFE
IN THIS WORLD NO MORE *

* I DON'T WANT TO DIE
IN A NUCLEAR WAR *

* I WANT TO SAIL AWAY
TO A DISTANT SHORE *

* AND MAKE LIKE
AN APE MAN **

OH!

AHH!

[CALYPSO MUSIC
PLAYING OVER RADIO]

LIMBO TIME,
EVERYBODY!

HOW LOW
CAN YOU GO?

HA HA!

DO YOU MIND, JACK?

IT'S AWFULLY LOUD,
ISN'T IT?

AWFULLY LOUD.
SORRY.

JACK, THIS IS
CAPTAIN TOBY PROOTH
AND PHILLIPA LLOYD.

THEY JUST CAME IN
FROM ANTIGUA.

TOBY HAS
A BEAUTIFUL SLOOP.

YES, HE DOES.

ARE YOU CAST
OR CREW?

STRICTLY CREW.

AND YOU KNOW
THE GOVERNOR.

THE FORMERLY HONORABLE
ANTHONY CROYDEN HAYES.

YOUR EXCELLENCY.

ARE YOU STILL HERE?

YOU REMIND ME
OF A STRANGE VEGETATION

THAT POPPED UP
AND CAN'T GET RID OF.

IT'S JUST BEEN
FIVE MONTHS.

I'M HAVING FUN.

THE INSTANT
YOU BLOODY TOURISTS

GET YOUR PINK FEET
INTO SOME SAND,

YOU GIVE UP
THE DRY CLEANING BUSINESS
IN CLEVELAND

AND MOVE
TO THE ISLANDS.

ARE YOU IN
THE DRY CLEANING BUSINESS,
MR. MONIKER?

FIREMAN, SIR.

CHICAGO FIREMAN.
RETIRED.

THAT'S INTERESTING.

THERE'S A SMASHING
YACHT CLUB IN CHICAGO.

YACHTING'S TOUGH
IN CHICAGO.

THEY SHOOT AT YOU
FROM THE SOUTH SHORE.

YOU HAVE A NICE, STEADY
VIOLENCE IN THE STATES.

VERY PREDICTABLE.

IN THE JUNGLE,
IT'S LONG, TEDIOUS PERIODS

OR SWELTERING DOLDRUMS

PUNCTUATED BY
THE OCCASIONAL BLOOD BATH.

I THINK
WE'RE DUE FOR ONE.

DON'T START THOSE
WILD RUMORS

ABOUT REVOLUTION
AGAIN.

IT HAPPENED IN KENYA,
DIDN'T IT?

THEY MADE
THOSE FAT BURGHERS

DRINK BLOOD FROM
A SEVERED SHEEP'S PENIS,

THEN HACKED THEM
TO PIECES WITH MACHETES.

IT ISN'T BAD
AS ALL THAT.

THERE AREN'T ANY SHEEP
ON SAINT NICHOLAS.

I HEARD ABOUT
THIS GUY IN CICERO.

HE STIFFED
A LOAN SHARK,

SO THESE GUYS
GOT HIM,

CUT OFF HIS ARM,
KILLED HIM WITH IT,

THEN SHOVED IT
INTO A BLENDER
AND MADE DIP.

THEY SERVED IT
AT HIS SISTER'S
WEDDING.

THE SISTER LOVED IT
AND WANTED THE RECIPE.

CRAZY WORLD, ISN'T IT?

YOU TWO ARE
A CHEERFUL PAIR.

FLOTSAM AND JETSAM.

UNLIKE YOU,
I HAVE NOT SPENT MY LIFE

CRUISING FROM
DISCOTHEQUE
TO DISCOTHEQUE

WITH MY ASS HANGING
OUT OF A FRENCH-CUT
BATHING SUIT.

YOU'RE MISSING
ALL THE FUN.

I SUSPECT
YOU'RE RIGHT.

I'M STOPPING BY
THE CLUB PARADISE LATER.

WE HAVE
OTHER PLANS.

I BET YOU DO,
YOU PARTY COSSACK.

BE CAREFUL.
SOMEWHERE ON THIS ISLAND

THERE'S A DOLL
WITH YOUR FACE.

VOODOO TA-TA.
TAKE CARE.

* WAI-O WAI-O *

* SO PATI SUKI LAY *

* WAI-O WAI-O *

* SO PATI SUKI LAY *

* WAI-O WAI-O *

* SO PATI SUKI LAY *

* ANAKO *

* MIAKRA *

* KARESA MOSI LAY *

* ANAKO *

* MIAKRA *

* KARESA... *

MR. MONKEY!

AH, MISS PANSY.

BLESS YOU, GIRL.

NO PROBLEM.

EBOTINE.

IRIE.

JADE.

YEAH, MON.

WHISKEY.

YANNA.

RADICAL.

YES, MON.

EVENING, GIRLS.

* AND DON'T YOU
BE SURPRISED *

* STAY CLEAR,
MY SWEET THING *

* HE'S GOT FIRE
IN HIS EYES *

* SO WAI-O WAI-O *

* SO PATI SUKI LAY *

* WAI-O WAI-O... **

HELLO AGAIN.

HELLO.
BUG SPRAY?

NO THANKS.
THEY DON'T BOTHER ME.

THEY WILL.

TAKE IT FROM ME.
I'M ISLAND JACK.

REALLY? WHAT ISLAND
ARE YOU FROM?

ELLIS, ORIGINALLY.

WHAT DO YOU DO?

AFTER YOU LEFT, THEY SAID
YOU WERE A SMUGGLER.

NO, I'M A SNUGGLER.

AH.

ACTUALLY, I LIVE OFF
AN INSURANCE SETTLEMENT

FROM THE FIRE
DEPARTMENT.

FRAUD?

NO. INJURY.

PERMANENTLY DISABLED
IN THE LINE OF DUTY.

YOU SEEM FIT ENOUGH.

BUT INSIDE, I'M A MESS.

I DON'T DOUBT IT.

WOULD YOU CARE
TO DANCE?

YEAH. WHY NOT?

I THINK WE'D BETTER
SIT THIS ONE OUT.

THANK YOU.

I TOLD YOU
I WAS INJURED.

PHILLIPA.

CAN WE LEAVE?
THIS PLACE IS
ABSOLUTELY GHASTLY.

THIS IS THE FINEST HOTEL
ON THE ISLAND.

IMAGINE TRYING TO RUN
A FIRST-CLASS HOTEL HERE.

TRY AND FIND
A DECENT CHEF.

NO NATIVE'S GIVEN
A DECENT DAY'S WORK

SINCE THEY
OUTLAWED FLOGGING.

OH, REFRESHING
OUTLOOK.

SEE YOU'VE
MADE CONTACT.

MR. REED,
MISS PHILLIPA LLOYD,

MR. TOBY PROOTH.

MR. REED IS THE OWNER
OF CLUB PARADISE.

TOBY WAS REMINISCING
ABOUT THE GOOD OLD DAYS--

FLOGGING, SLAVERY,

HONEST DAY'S WORK FOR
AN HONEST DAY'S BEATING.

GONE BUT NOT
FORGOTTEN.

PHILLIPA, REALLY,
CAN WE GO?

I FEEL A HEADACHE
COMING ON.

I FEEL ONE LEAVING.

YOU RUN ALONG.
I'LL STAY.

SUIT YOURSELF.

SEE YOU IN
THE 17th CENTURY.

WILL YOU
JOIN US?

THANK YOU.

HEY.

HELLO.

THIS IS
MISS PHILADELPHIA.

IS THIS YOUR FIRST TIME
IN SAINT NICHOLAS?

* LOVE THE MONEY
MORE THAN PEOPLE... **

EXCUSE ME.

WHAT CAN I DO
FOR YOU, MR. GUNDY?

NICE TO SEE YOU
AGAIN, ERNEST.

NICE TO SEE YOU,
TOO, MR. GUNDY.

ERNEST, I COME
TO YOU TONIGHT

BECAUSE I'M DEEPLY,
DEEPLY CONCERNED.

WHEN I BECAME
PRIME MINISTER
OF SAINT NICHOLAS,

I TOLD YOU
TO COME TO ME

IF YOU HAD
ANY PROBLEM.

NOW, AS MINISTER
OF FINANCE

AND MINISTER
OF TOURISM,

I LEARN THAT YOU
ARE DELINQUENT
IN YOUR TAXES

TO THE AMOUNT
OF $6,000,

AND YOU HAVEN'T PAID
YOUR FOOD TAXES,

VIOLATIONS OF
THE TOURISM CODES,

AND REPORTS OF
GANJA BEING SMOKED
ON THESE PREMISES.

HOW CAN THIS
CONTINUE?

DIVINE JUSTICE,
MR. GUNDY.

LIFE IS
FULL OF MIRACLES.

IT WILL TAKE
MORE THAN A MIRACLE.

LISTEN TO ME,
ERNEST.

THERE IS A NEW WIND
BLOWING ACROSS
SAINT NICHOLAS.

I SMELT IT.

YOU ARE TRYING TO
BUSINESS ME OUT OF HERE.

IF YOU'RE NOT DRINKING,
THEN YOU BETTER BE GOING.

BE STILL.

STAY.

GET THEM.

TWO WEEKS.

THEN I'LL CRUSH YOU
LIKE A CIGARETTE BUTT.

AND I HAVEN'T
FORGOTTEN YOU,

MR. HOOK-AND-LADDER MAN.

FIREBALL!

EASY.

DON'T GO OUT THERE
WITHOUT A MACHINE GUN.

YOU NEED A LAWYER.

I NEED MONEY.

COOL VIBES, EVERYONE.

WHAT WAS
ALL THAT ABOUT?

OH, THE USUAL--

CORRUPTION, INJUSTICE.

* IN THIS WORLD
OF COMPETITION... **

WHAT'S THE PROBLEM?

MY FRIEND'S BEHIND
ON HIS TAXES--

ABOUT 300 YEARS BEHIND.

HE'S GOING TO
LOSE THE CLUB.

THAT'S TOO BAD.

THIS LOOKS LIKE
A GREAT BEACH.

WITH SOME PAINT,

SOMEBODY COULD
MAKE SOMETHING
OUT OF THAT.

WITH SOME MATCHES,

I COULD MAKE IT
A GOOD INSURANCE FIRE.

DON'T YOU HAVE
ANY AMBITION?

SURELY YOU MUST WANT
SOMETHING OUT OF LIFE.

YEAH.

GET OFF.

* BRIGHTEST STAR *

* SHINE ON, STAR *

* BRIGHTEST STAR... **

CLEVELAND,
GET YOUR THUMB

OUT OF MY SOUP.

GO CHANGE
THE GLOVES.

I TOLD HIM
A MILLION TIMES.

THIS NOISE.
IS HE ANY GOOD?

HE'S REAL GOOD.

HE'S REAL LOUD.

ERNEST! GREAT! STOP!

I'VE HEARD ENOUGH.

COME ON DOWN,
AND WE'LL TALK.

YOU GUYS ARE GOOD.

VERY HIP. TOO HIP.

YOU CAN'T BE
TOO HIP, MR. ZERBE.

THE CROWD LIKES
YELLOW BIRD
IN A BANANA TREE.

I CAN GET GUYS
PLAYING GARBAGE CANS,

AND THEY'D BE HAPPY.

BUT YOU GUYS,
YOU'RE TOO POLITICAL.

I GOT MORE SONGS.

A GUY WHO JUST PAID
$32 FOR BAD VEAL

DOESN'T WANT TO KNOW
THAT THE BAND
IS ANGRY.

PLAY AT YOUR CLUB.
HOW'S IT GOING THERE?

THEY'RE TRYING
TO TAKE MY HOTEL.

THAT IS
NOT A HOTEL.

THIS IS A HOTEL.

MARLIN PERKINS
WOULD BE AFRAID

TO GO IN YOUR PLACE.

YOU SHOULD
SELL IT TO ME.

A GUY LIKE YOU
IN NEW YORK
WITH MONEY?

FORGET IT.

TAKE MY ADVICE.
SELL IT.

I'LL SAY THIS,
MR. ZERBE.

YOU GOT STYLE.

BUT IT'S NOT FOR ME.

WELL, THINK IT OVER.

I GOT TO GO.

SO GOOD LUCK.

SEE YOU AROUND.

SO THIS IS MY ROOM.

HMM. VERY NICE.

MMM.

THIS IS
STILL MY ROOM.

AND THIS...

IS THE GUEST BEDROOM.

OH.

IT'S FOR RENT,
YOU KNOW?

INEXPENSIVE.

VERY CHEAP.

IN FACT, FREE.

I'LL PAY YOU.

IF I WANTED
TO BE KEPT,

I'D PICK SOMEONE
WITH BETTER PROSPECTS.

YOU'RE LOOKING AT
A FUTURE PARTNER

IN CLUB PARADISE.

I THOUGHT YOU WERE STUCK
IN YOUR RETIREMENT FANTASY.

I'VE GOT
LOTS OF FANTASIES.

YOU WEARING
JUST SOCKS.

ME RUNNING A CLUB
IN THE TROPICS.

PEOPLE COMING
FROM ALL OVER.

TOILETS BACKING UP,
GUESTS COMPLAINING,
CHECKS BOUNCING.

THIS IS THE THIRD WORLD.

THAT'S ALWAYS
BOTHERED ME

ABOUT THE THIRD WORLD.

WHERE ARE
THE OTHER TWO WORLDS?

COME ON, PHILADELPHIA,
STAY HERE.

HAVE A DECENT JOB.
WORK FOR ME.

BUT TOBY'S SAILING
TO MARTINIQUE.

I'M MEANT
TO GO WITH HIM.

DARLING, FORGET TOBY.

HE HAS THE WARMTH
OF A SNOW PEA.

LIVE HERE.
YOU CAN LEAVE
WHENEVER YOU WISH.

YOU WON'T HAVE TO
MAKE LOVE TO ME,

BUT YOU'LL WANT TO.

OH, REALLY?

MAYBE NOT RIGHT AWAY.

IT MIGHT BE FUN
FOR A WHILE, BUT--

FUN IS NOT EVEN
THE WORD FOR IT.

WE ARE TALKING
A MAJOR LIFE EXPERIENCE.

THAT'S WHAT
I'M AFRAID OF.

NO, NO, NO.

I'M TALKING
MAJOR PASSION.

AND I'M OVERWHELMED.

I'M TALKING
TIME-AND-A-HALF
FOR OVERTIME,

PLUS MEDICAL...

DENTAL.

WELL, WHY DIDN'T
YOU SAY SO?

* OH, YEAH, OH, YEAH,
OH, YEAH, OH, YEAH *

* HEY *

* NO MAN
IS AN ISLAND, JACK *

* YOU COULD BE
TOUGHER THAN A ROCK *

* ONE AND ONE'S
GOT TO MAKE CONTACT *

* TO GET ON
THE RIGHT TRACK, YEAH *

* WHEN YOU SEE IN YOUR LIFE
SOMETHING MISSING *

* AND FOR ALL THE GOOD THINGS
THAT YOU'RE WISHING *

* THERE'S A PLACE
YOU CAN GO *

* WHERE THE VIBES
ARE NICE *

* JUST LIKE PARADISE *

* SWEET PARADISE *

* SWEET PARADISE *

* CLUB PARADISE *

* SWEET PARADISE *

* GIVE ME STUFF *

* ISLAND JACK SAID
HE AIN'T GOING BACK *

* TO THE U.S.A. *

* JUST RUB THAT COCONUT OIL
ON HIS BACK *

* SAID HE'S
HERE TO STAY *

* 'CAUSE HE'S FOUND IN HIS LIFE
WHAT'S BEEN MISSING *

* AND FOR ALL THE GOOD THINGS
HE'S BEEN WISHING *

* SAID, "YOU'LL
FIND ME WHERE" *

* "THE VIBES ARE NICE" *

RANDY, I THINK
THIS IS THE PLACE.

O.K.

THAT'S IT?

YEAH. ISN'T THAT
WHERE YOU WANT TO GO?

AND LOOK AT THIS.
LOOK AT THAT BUFFET.

"HOT BUFFET."
I SAY LET'S GO.

MY UNCLE AND I
ARE GOING TO THE ISLANDS.

WANT TO COME WITH US?

I GOT THIS BROCHURE
ON MY DESK

ABOUT A PLACE
CALLED SAINT NICHOLAS.

YOU EVER
HEARD OF IT?

DO YOU KNOW
WHERE IT IS?

IN THE OCEAN
SOMEWHERE.

OH! COULD WE GO?

GIRLS!

GET BACK TO WORK!

SORRY.

* CLUB PARADISE *

* HAPPY, HAPPY PARADISE **

THIS IS EXCITING.

I LOVE SMALL PLANES.

CAN YOU ASK HIM
HOW MUCH LONGER

WE'LL BE CIRCLING?

IT'S HIS BUSINESS.

HONEY, JUST ASK HIM.

ALL RIGHT.

HOW MUCH
FARTHER IS IT?

A COUPLE
MORE INCHES.

IF I COULD
FIND A HOLE.

FIND THE ISLAND!

THERE'S A BREAK
IN THE CLOUDS.

I'M GOING FOR IT!

AAH!

WE'RE OUT! NOW WHERE
THE HELL'S THE AIRPORT?

ISN'T THAT THE RUNWAY?

IF THAT RUNWAY
WAS SHORTER,

IT'D BE A PATIO.

JUST LAND THIS PLANE!

[BUZZER SOUNDS]

STALL OUT!

STALL OUT!

AAH!

OH!
AAH!

OH!

AAH!
OH!

AAH!

OH!

AAH!

OH!
AAH!

OH!

I DON'T HEAR
ANY ENGINES.

MAYBE IT'S A GLIDER.

[SCREECH SCREECH]

OH!
WOOH!

[SCREECH]

OH!

[SCREECH]

I'D LIKE TO THANK YOU

AND ASK THAT YOU
REMAIN SEATED

WITH YOUR SEAT BELTS
FASTENED UNTIL...

[BUZZER SOUNDS]

BRAKE PRESSURE!

[SCREECH]

BUSHES!

OH!
OH!

ALL RIGHT!

O.K.! YAH-HA!

I MADE IT! I MADE IT!

WHAT'S YOUR NAME?

I MADE IT! HEY, HEY!

O.K.!

REMIND ME TO GET
A NEW PILOT.

YOU BET.

1, 2, 3,
SHOWTIME.

WHAT IS IT? YOU LOOK
LIKE YOU ATE A GHOST.

SOMEONE PAID
HIS TAXES.

WHO?

THE FIREMAN.

MONIKER.

WHAT KIND OF NAME
IS MONIKER?

SOL, LET'S NOT
BLOW THIS THING.

YOU GOT TO GET THEM
OUT OF THERE.

I WILL CHEW
ON THEIR LIVERS.

I HATE LIVER.

RELAX. THEY'LL BE GONE
IN NO TIME.

IT'LL TAKE MORE
THAN SOME PAINT

TO TURN
THAT PLACE AROUND.

COME ON.

YOU ENJOY THE TRIP?

NO, I DIDN'T.

WELL, YOU'LL FIND
WHEN YOU TRAVEL
A LITTLE BIT MORE

THAT THINGS
ARE DIFFERENT
IN THE THIRD WORLD.

I TRAVEL A LOT.

REALLY?
WHAT DO YOU DO?

I REVIEW RESORTS
AND HOTELS

FOR THE NEW YORK TIMES
TRAVEL SECTION.

AHH!

ENJOY.

HEY, RED, YOU WANT TO
JOIN US FOR A COLADA?

FRANKLY,
I'D RATHER BE
DRAWN AND QUARTERED.

OOOH. HA HA HA!

KINKY.

DRAWN AND QUARTERED.
WE'LL NEED TWO OTHER GUYS.

FORGET HER. SNOB CITY.

THE GOOD KNISH IS
ALREADY ON THE BEACH.

YOU'RE RIGHT.

I GOT TO GET A TAN.

AH. DYNAMITE RAYS, MAN.

DYNAMITE RAYS.

I'M GOING TO BE
SHVARTZ IN TWO MINUTES.

THIS LATITUDE
IS GOOD FOR ME.

WHAT DO YOU THINK
OF THOSE TWO OVER THERE?

THEY LOOK NICE.

FORGET NICE.
MY MOTHER'S NICE.

WHAT ARE YOU
STARING AT?

YOU TOLD ME
TO LOOK.

DON'T STARE AT THEM.
THEY'LL COME TALK TO US.

WHERE'S
YOUR SUBTLETY?

WHERE'S YOUR
BLOOD PRESSURE?

PUTZ.

THOSE HAIRY GUYS
ARE LOOKING AT US.

JACKIE, THERE'S
MORE TO DO HERE

THAN TO WAIT FOR
STRANGE GUYS

TO TALK TO US.

I'M GOING TO
TALK TO THEM.

HI.

COULD YOU PUT
SOME LOTION ON MY BACK?

I DON'T THINK SO.

I DON'T WANT TO GET
MY HANDS GREASY.

WE MAY GRAB A SANDWICH.

MAYBE LATER ON.

MUCH LATER.

O.K. SEE YOU LATER.

HAVE FUN.

BE NICER.

IF WE HAVEN'T
SCORED BY THURSDAY,

THEY'LL START
LOOKING GOOD.

WELL, WHAT DID
THEY SAY?

OH, THEY'RE
KIND OF SHY.

YEAH, RIGHT.

RANDY, THERE'S NO WATER.

OH, LOOK.

THE TOWELS ARE STOLEN
FROM OTHER HOTELS,

AND THERE'S NO SOAP,
NO COMPLIMENTARY SHAMPOO,

NO COMPLIMENTARY
SEWING KIT,

NO SHOWER CAP.

IT'S THE SAME ROOM,
ALL RIGHT.

MUST HAVE SHOT IT
WITH A WIDE-ANGLE LENS.

MAYBE A FISHEYE
OR SOMETHING.

IT'S HUGE
IN THE PICTURE.

I'LL SUE HIM.

RANDY, THIS PLACE
ISN'T AIR-CONDITIONED.

I DON'T SEE
ANY SWITCHES,
NO VENTS.

I DON'T BELIEVE IT.

NOT A WORD ABOUT
AIR CONDITIONING.

WE'LL JUST HAVE
TO LIVE WITH IT.

RANDY, YOU DO NOT
SAVE A MARRIAGE

WITHOUT
AIR CONDITIONING.

OH, GOD.

OH.

DO YOU NEED
TO TAKE A LEAK?

HOT ENOUGH FOR YOU?

OH.

IS EVERYTHING
SATISFACTORY?

NO, NOT REALLY.

WE JUST OPENED UP.

STILL IRONING OUT
THE BUGS.

YOU'LL FIND MOST OF
THE BUGS IN MY ROOM.

WELL, WE'LL HAVE THEM
IRONED OUT IMMEDIATELY.

BUT IT SAYS "PRIVATE"
RIGHT HERE.

IT'S WRONG.

I KNOW THAT.
WHAT'S YOUR NAME?

PANSY BROWN, SIR.

WHAT'S THE PROBLEM,
FOLKS?

I'LL TELL YOU.

EXCUSE ME.
HELLO, JACK.

YOUR BROCHURE
SPECIFICALLY SAYS
"PRIVATE BATH."

NOW IT SEEMS
WE HAVE TO
SHARE A BATH

WITH THE GENTLEMAN
NEXT DOOR.

WHEN WE SAY PRIVATE,

WE MEAN THAT THE BATHROOM'S
NOT OPEN TO THE PUBLIC.

YOU'RE RIGHT.
THIS IS VERY MISLEADING.

I SHOULD CHANGE IT
AND PUT DOWN,

INSTEAD OF PRIVATE,
SECLUDED.

IT WON'T BE
THAT EASY, MISTER.

THIS ISN'T MY FIRST TRIP
OUT OF CLEVELAND.

BACK OFF BEFORE I
RIP YOUR NOSE OFF.

ARE YOU
THREATENING ME?

YES.

PUT THE BROCHURE AWAY.

JACK, WILL I BE ABLE
TO TAKE A DECENT SHOWER,

OR WILL THE WATER
ALWAYS BE LIKE THAT?

I'M ON THE CASE.

TONIGHT YOU'LL HAVE
THE FINEST SHOWER POSSIBLE.

THE NAME'S MONIKER.

I GOT IT.

LINDA.

OH, MY GOD!

AAH!OH. OH.

OH. OH.
AAAH! WHOA!

ONE GRADE. OVEN-READY.
SELF-BASTING.

HEY, DINNER IS SERVED!

THE ENTREE'S HERE.

MMMMEAT.

FASHION MODELS,
GOT TO BE.

LOOK AT THESE
AQUA VELVAS.

YOU THINK
THEY'RE WITH THEM?

ARE YOU KIDDING?
THEY'RE PROBABLY GAY.

COUPLE OF 'MOES.

OH, COME ON.

ARE THEY TRYING
TO MAKE US THINK
THEY'RE STRAIGHT?

COUSINS.

DARLING?
CHAMPAGNE?

HUH! THEY HAVE
THAT PARACHUTE THING!

I'VE ALWAYS
WANTED TO DO THAT.

WHY?

I WANT TO FEEL THE WIND
THROUGH MY HAIR.

I WANT TO LIVE!

YOU WANT TO PLAY
WIFFLE TENNIS?

NO, HONEY.

I DON'T WANT TO PLAY
WIFFLE TENNIS.

READ YOUR BOOK.

I NEED
A LITTLE SPACE.

[PLFFTH]

COULD I TRY THIS
PARACHUTE THING?

SURE.
WHAT'S YOUR NAME?

LINDA "WHITTAY."

CHRIS.

HELMUT.

WAS HABEN SIE GEDONE?

"M." MISSISSIPPI.

ETHIOPIA.

NO. AN "I."

IPANEMA.

THAT'S A SONG--
THE GIRL FROM IPANEMA.

IT'S FICTIONAL.

THAT'S WHERE
SHE'S FROM.

YOU CAN'T USE THAT,
IPANEMA.

HOW'S IT
GOING?

REMEMBER ME?
I'M JACK.

BARRY.

BARRY.

WOW, DEJA VU.

BARRY STEINBERG,
BARRY NYE.

SMOKED MEATS.

WHAT'S GOING ON?
THIS BEACH IS DEAD.

IT'S ALL PREPARATION
AND NO Hs.

WHAT, ARE YOU BLIND?

COME ON.
WHAT ABOUT THOSE TWO?

I DON'T THINK
THEY'RE INTERESTED.

TOO TALL.

THEY TALKED
ABOUT YOU.

THEY SAID
YOU WEREN'T FIT

TO SLEEP
WITH PIGS.

I DEFENDED YOU.

I SAID YOU WERE.

SO GO ON.
GET OUT THERE.
MINGLE.

BY TONIGHT
YOUR MEAT
WILL BE SMOKED.

SEE YOU TONIGHT.
REGGAE DANCE.

THANKS, MAN.
SEE YOU LATER.

WE'LL CINCH YOU UP.

YOU HAVE
STRONG LEGS.

ARE YOU READY
TO FLY?

YES.

LINDA,
THE SKY IS YOURS.

JE VAIS
A LA GLOIRE!

WHOA! RANDY!

OHH!

WHOA! WHOA!

OHH!

RANDY!

WHOA!

AAAHHH!

RANDY!

OH! OH!

RANDY! OH!

WHOA!

WHOO! HO HA!

HA HA HA!

WHEE HEE!

HA HA HA!

AHHH AHHH AHHH!

HA HA!

I'M NOT WEARING
THIS SHIRT.

LOOK AT THIS SHIRT.
I WON'T WEAR IT.

HEY, GUYS.

YOU ON
A UNION 10?

MAKE IT 15.

WE'LL GET
TOGETHER
ONE DAY.

WE'LL
HAVE LUNCH.

YEAH, LUNCH.

ROLL ONE FOR ME.

DID YOU REHEARSE?

I HAVE
MY OWN SONGS.

I'M NOT DOING
THESE SONGS.

WE PROMISED THESE PEOPLE
A FLOOR SHOW.

THEY LOVE
THESE SONGS.

ANYONE HEAR
THESE SONGS

DON'T WANT TO
HEAR THEM ANYMORE.

AND I CAN'T WEAR
THESE CLOTHES.

I DON'T LIKE
THESE CLOTHES.

YOU THINK I LIKE LOOKING
LIKE A HAWAIIAN PIMP?

I KNEW ANOTHER
PROUD BLACK MAN
LIKE YOURSELF ONCE.

I GAVE HIM
SOME ADVICE, TOO.

I TOLD HIM,

"WEAR ONE GLOVE,
JUST ONE GLOVE."

THE REST
WAS HISTORY.

WHO WAS THAT?

WILLIE MAYS.

YOU WEAR THESE CLOTHES,
YOU SING THESE SONGS,

I'LL HAVE YOU BACK
IN CENTER FIELD.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT
CENTER FIELD IS,

BUT I'LL DO IT ONCE.

THEN I'M GOING TO
BURN THESE CLOTHES.

THAT HAIR IS
A DOWNRIGHT,
EVERLASTING DISGRACE!

I'VE BEEN WORKING
IN BETTER HOTELS
THAN THIS FOR 25 YEARS.

WHO HASN'T?

HAIR LIKE THAT
IN MY KITCHEN
IS UNSANITARY!

I DON'T KNOW
WHY HE MUST HAVE

ALL THAT
BOO GOO YAGA HAIR.

HE BETTER
CUT IT OFF OR GO.

IT'S VERY
BOO GOO YAGA.

I'LL TALK TO HIM
AND WORK IT OUT.

TREE.

WHAT'S HAPPENING?

OH, NO THANKS.

LAST TIME,
THEY FOUND ME
ON THE SEARS TOWER

TRYING
TO BUILD A NEST.

I LOVE YOUR HAIR,
MAN,

BUT I'M GETTING FLAK

FROM THE HEALTH
DEPARTMENT.

I'M WORRIED
THAT A GUEST

WILL PICK
A 5-FOOT HAIR

OUT OF
THE TUNA SALAD.

I CAN'T CUT
MY HAIR, MAN.

YOU CAN'T CUT YOUR HAIR.

OH, I KNOW HOW WE CAN
WORK THIS ONE OUT.

COME WITH ME.

I'D LIKE YOU TO MEET
YOUR NEW ASSISTANT COOK.

EVERYBODY
SAY HELLO TO HAT.

PASSABLE.

WATCH OUT
FOR THOSE FANS.

SOL, THE BOYS ARE BACK.

NOW WE'VE GOT TO DELIVER.

IT'S THAT FIREMAN.

I HAVE USED
EVERY LEGAL MEANS

AT MY DISPOSAL,

AND STILL,
THEY WILL NOT BE MOVED!

THERE MUST BE SOME WAY
TO GET TO THIS GUY.

TAKING UP THE GAME?

IT'S A PAIN IN THE ASS.

GET RID OF THE HORSES,
YOU'D HAVE A GOOD GAME.

LET'S ROLL, KNOLL.

COULD WE TALK?

AT LAST, A BRIBE.

IT'S ABOUT
YOUR FRIEND JACK.

YOU SHOULD
TALK TO HIM.

I'D HATE TO SEE
ANYBODY GET HURT.

HOW VERY THOUGHTFUL.

I'M TRYING TO DO
WHAT'S BEST FOR EVERYBODY.

THAT'S THE WAY THIS GAME
SHOULD BE PLAYED.

I CAN'T TELL YOU
THE FEELING

OF FLYING THROUGH
THOSE TREES!

I'VE NEVER FELT
MORE ALIVE.

ISN'T IT GREAT,
RANDY?

ISN'T IT FANTASTIC?

I DON'T KNOW.

WELL, I THOUGHT IT WAS.

WASN'T TODAY FUN?

DIDN'T YOU HAVE
ANY FUN?

I FOUND A SHELL.

RANDY, YOU MAY HAVE TO
TRY JUST A LITTLE HARDER.

TOMORROW,
HELMUT AND CHRISTOPHER

ARE GIVING ME
CLIFF-DIVING LESSONS.

WON'T YOU TRY IT
AT LEAST ONCE?

NOTHING COULD BE
MORE FUN

THAN CLIFF-DIVING

WITH TWO
GERMAN BISEXUALS.

WHAT?

NOTHING.

THE SHOWER
BETTER WORK NOW.

* ABOUT A THING *

* 'CAUSE
EVERY LITTLE THING *

* GONNA BE ALL RIGHT **

I DON'T BELIEVE IT.

WHOA!

RANDY!

RANDY!

HELP!

HELP!

MRS. WHITE,
HOW DO YOU DO IT?

OH. EASY.

HOW WAS
THAT SHOWER?

BRUTAL.

THERE'S A FOOT
OF WATER IN OUR ROOM.

WELL, WHEN IT RAINS,
IT POURS.

HAVE A NICE NIGHT.

LOOK, TELL ME
WHAT THE PROBLEM IS

NICE RESORT.

NICE PANTS.

THE SIXTIES
ARE OVER, PAL.

YOUR EXCELLENCY.

YOU'RE
LOOKING ELEGANT
THIS EVENING.

WHY ARE WE GRACED
WITH YOUR IMPERIAL
PRESENCE?

ONE CAN SMELL
THE SUNTAN OIL

AND FRYING FEMALE FLESH
RIGHT ACROSS THE ISLAND.

I WAS CURIOUS ABOUT THIS
PERVERTED PASSION PIT
YOU'RE RUNNING.

THIS ORGY BIN.

WHATEVER YOU CALL THIS
DRUG-CRAZED NIPPLE RANCH.

LOOKING FOR A LITTLE
FEMALE COMPANIONSHIP?

YOU'VE COME TO
THE RIGHT PLACE.

YOU GOT THE PEARLS,
WE GOT THE SWINE.

BEFORE I TURN
MY HORMONES LOOSE,

I HAVE SOMETHING OFFICIAL
I WANT TO DISCUSS IN PRIVATE.

I THOUGHT
YOUR OFFICIAL DUTIES

CONSISTED OF
A LOT OF THIS.

NO. WHILE YOU'VE
BEEN OCCUPIED

IN FISHING
LOOSE DIAPHRAGMS
OUT OF THE SWIMMING POOL,

I'VE BEEN ENGAGED
IN MATTERS
OF IMPORTANCE

TO EVERYONE
ON THIS ISLAND.

WE DON'T HAVE
A SWIMMING POOL.

IF YOU HAVE A NOOK
WHICH ISN'T KNEE-DEEP
IN SEMINAL FLUID,

I THINK IT'S IMPORTANT
WE HAVE A CHAT.

I'LL FIND A DRY SPOT.

BUT IF YOU'RE INTERESTED
IN SOMETHING WONDERFUL,

YOU SHOULD
CHECK OUT THAT WOMAN.

WHY?

SHE'S A WRITER

FOR THE NEW YORK TIMES
TRAVEL SECTION.

IF YOU CHARM HER,

SHE MIGHT WRITE
A NICE PIECE
ABOUT THIS PLACE.

DRINKS ARE
ON THE HOUSE.

DOUBLES.

IF YOU THINK
IT WILL HELP.

BLESS YOU.

OH, DEAR. AM I TOO LATE
FOR THE MAIN EVENT?

NO. THE GUESTS
CAN GRAZE SOME MORE

BEFORE THE ALLEGED
ENTERTAINMENT BEGINS.

MAY I JOIN YOU?

I GUESS
THAT'S HOW IT WORKS.

THE FIREMAN SAID
YOU'RE A JOURNALIST.

WILL YOU
SCRIBBLE SOMETHING

ABOUT THIS PLACE?

IT REMINDS ME
OF A JAPANESE P.O.W. CAMP.

WHAT DO YOU DO?

GUESS.

TOO TAN TO HOLD
A RESPECTABLE JOB.

RETIRED MILLIONAIRE?

HARDLY.
I HAVEN'T ANY MONEY.

THE WEST INDIES
IS A GREAT PLACE

IN WHICH TO BE POOR.

NO LITTLE MOUTHS
TO FEED?

THERE WAS
ONE BIG MOUTH,

BUT MY WIFE
LEFT ME.

COULDN'T STAND
THE TROPICS?

LOVED THE TROPICS.

IT WAS ME
SHE COULDN'T STAND.

LET'S MAKE
OUR MOVE.

I'LL TAKE
THE ONE

WITH BROWN HAIR.

THEY BOTH HAVE
BROWN HAIR.

I'LL TAKE
THE BANANA.

LADIES, MIND IF
MY FATHER AND I
JOIN YOU?

HA HA HA!

YOU KNOW, YOU LOOK
SO FAMILIAR.

WERE YOU AT
CLUB MED MARTINIQUE

LAST YEAR?

NO.

CLUB UNIVERSAL
IN HAWAII?

SWINGLES
IN FORT LAUDERDALE?

NO.

YOU KNOW
WHAT I THINK?

I THINK WE MET
IN ANOTHER LIFE.

DO YOU HAVE
ANYTHING TO SMOKE?

UNREAL!
YOU MUST BE PSYCHIC.

WE WERE JUST TALKING
ABOUT THAT BEFORE,
GETTING STONED.

WE'LL COP
SOME PRIMO
CANNABIS SATIVA,

AND THE FOUR OF US
WILL GET DEMENTED.

STONED OUT
OF OUR GOURDS.

CATCH YOU LATER.

SAVE OUR SEATS.
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

RIGHT HERE,
WAITING FOR YOU.

NO SEEDS.

WE SHOULD
COME WITH YOU?

YES. WHERE'S
YOUR FRIEND?

RIGHT THERE.
I'LL GET HIM.

BARE? WE'RE
OUT OF HERE.

SO, WHAT'S THE DEAL?

THE DEAL IS,
MAJOR SCORE

OF DOMESTIC,
HOMEGROWN,
UNCUT, PURE WEED

HAPPENING HERE
TONIGHT.

MAJOR SCORE.

ALL RIGHT.

O.K.?

HOW LONG WILL IT TAKE
TO GET THERE?

NOT LONG. RELAX.

LIKE HOW LONG?

HE SAID "SOON COME."
HE'S COMING SOON.

HOW LONG WILL IT TAKE?

THE DEAL'S DONE.

WE'RE RIDING IN A CAR
WITH A STRANGER.

HE'S WEARING SUNGLASSES
AT NIGHT,

TAKING US INTO A JUNGLE.

NICE DEAL.

WHY DON'T WE
HAND HIM OUR WALLETS

AND SLIT
OUR OWN THROATS?

HE'S COOL.
THE GUY'S COOL.

AND NOW
A VERY SPECIAL GUEST,

A REPRESENTATIVE
OF HER EXCELLENCY THE QUEEN,

THE GOVERNOR GENERAL
OF SAINT NICHOLAS,

SIR ANTHONY CROYDEN HAYES.

IT'S MY JOB.

AND I'VE SAVED
THE BEST FOR LAST.

HE'S MY PARTNER,
HE'S MY FRIEND,

HE'S A REGGAE MACHINE
AND A FASHION STATEMENT.

FORGET YOUR ANNOYANCE
BECAUSE HERE COMES

ERNEST REED
AND THE FLAMBOYANTS!

* THIS IS MY ISLAND
IN THE SUN *

* WHERE MY PEOPLE HAVE
TOILED SINCE TIME BEGUN *

* I MAY SAIL
ON BETTER SEAS *

* BUT THESE SHORES
SHALL ALWAYS BELONG TO ME *

* OH, ISLAND IN THE SUN *

* WILLED TO ME
BY OUR FATHER'S HAND *

* ALL OUR DAYS,
I WILL SING IN PRAISE *

* OF THY FOREST, WATERS,
AND SHINING SAND **

* FIRE, FIRE, BURN *

* FIRE, FREE MY SOUL
FROM BABYLON *

* FIRE, FIRE,
FIRE, BURN... **

HI, MON.
HOW ARE YOU?

GOOD.

GREAT.

REAL GOOD
RHYTHM THING
HAPPENING.

WE HEARD IT
DRIVING UP.

FOR MILES.

IT SOUNDS LIKE
THIS IS THE...

ROOTS.

THE ROOT
OF ALL MUSIC.

I THOUGHT
IT WAS JAZZ.

THIS IS IABINGEE.

I COULD LISTEN
ALL NIGHT.

STICK AROUND, MON.

HOW LONG
DOES THIS
GO ON FOR?

SOMETIMES THREE DAYS,
ALL DAY, ALL NIGHT.

THREE DAYS.

BIG MISTAKE.

IF HE DOESN'T
COME SOON,

LET'S CHECK OUT.

YAH!

HEY, MY MAN.

HE'S BACK.

READY?

YEAH.

WE GOT TO GO.

ALL RIGHT, MON.

GREAT.
HAD A BLAST.

YOU GOT IT?

YES, MON.

THAT'S IT?
ONE JOINT?

WHAT KIND OF DEALER
ARE YOU?

DEALER?
I'M A TAXI DRIVER.

WE'LL NEED
MORE THAN ONE JOINT.

YOU WANT TO GO BACK IN
AND ASK FOR MORE?

NO.

THEN GET IN THE CAR.

I BELIEVE YOU LADIES
MENTIONED SOMETHING
ABOUT SMOKE.

RIGHT.

LET'S SEE IT.

SHE WANTS TO SEE IT.

SHE WANTS TO SEE IT.

THIS STUFF IS
TOTALLY TUBULAR, O.K.?

SHE'S LIGHTING IT HERE.

IS THIS COOL OR WHAT?

ALL RIGHT.

NICE SMOKE.

YOU WANT TO
PASS THAT, UH...

HEY, THAT'S NICE.

PASS THAT, UH...

I HAD AN INTERESTING CHAT

WITH THE PRIME MINISTER,
MR. GUNDY,

AND MR. VOIT ZERBE,

THE OWNER OF
THE OTHER HOTEL.

THEY ASKED ME
TO SPEAK TO YOU
ABOUT YOUR FUTURE.

IN FACT,
THEY BRIBED ME.

YOU TOOK IT,
OF COURSE.

IF I REFUSED,

MR. ZERBE IMPLIED
THAT HE COULD

HAVE ENGLAND'S
LEGS BROKEN.

THIS ISLAND IS ABOUT
TO BE BOUGHT.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN, BOUGHT?

THE PEOPLE,
THE GOVERNMENT,

BUSINESSES,
NATURAL RESOURCES.

WELL, WHO'S MR. BIG?

MR. BIG
HAS YET TO APPEAR,

BUT WHENEVER THAT
TUGBOAT COMES IN,

OUR PRIME MINISTER
SCURRIES AROUND.

WHAT DO THEY WANT
WITH THIS DIVE?

FRANKLY,
I CAN'T IMAGINE,

BUT AS
THE REPRESENTATIVE
OF GREAT BRITAIN,

I FEEL IT'S A MATTER
OF VITAL INTEREST
TO OUR GOVERNMENT.

IF SOMEONE WERE
TO BOARD THAT SHIP

AND PROVIDE SOME
USEFUL INTELLIGENCE,

MY GOVERNMENT MIGHT
BE VERY GRATEFUL.

NO. THANK THE QUEEN,

BUT TELL HER
MY BROTHER'S A QUEEN,

AND EVEN HE
DOESN'T WANT ME
TO SPY FOR ENGLAND.

NO, THANKS.

COME ON! OH!

OH! WHOA!

WHOO! HA HA!

OH! AAH!

OH!

LOOK AT ME,
RANDY!

OH, YEAH, BABY!
YEAH! OH!

YEE HA!

DO IT!

COME ON,
LET'S GO!

WHOOOAA!

WHAT IF
THE CREW
WAKES UP?

THEY'RE AT
THE MARINA BAR.

I'LL BE ON AND OFF
IN TWO MINUTES.

[IN HIGH VOICE]
YOU STAY HERE AND--

WAIT A MINUTE.

THIS IS HELIUM.

I BROUGHT
THE WRONG TANK.

I'LL GO WITHOUT IT.

I'M GOING
WITH YOU, MON.

FINE. WE'LL BOTH GO.

OHH! THAT'S A NICE BUZZ.

OH, BOY!

[SLAM]

SHH!

WHAT ARE YOU,
A DUCK? COME ON.

WHAT IS IT?

IT'S A NEW
SAINT NICHOLAS.

YEAH, I SEE
THEIR PLAN NOW.

THERE'S A NEW
INTERNATIONAL
AIRPORT,

HIGH-RISE HOTELS,

LUXURY CONDOS
FOR THE RICH FOLKS.

WHERE'S MY HOUSE?

NEXT TO
THE NUCLEAR PLANT.

BUT YOU CAN
WALK TO THE FACTORY,

WHERE YOU'LL SEW LABELS
ON DESIGNER JEANS.

WHERE'S OUR CLUB?

WE'RE NOT PART
OF THE FUTURE.

FREEZE!POLICE!

WHAT ARE YOU DOING
OUT HERE?

JUST SEEING
THAT ALL IS WELL.

IS IT?

NO.

GUARD!

GUARD!

HEY, WHAT YOU WANTING?

NOTHING. I ALWAYS
WANTED TO DO THAT
WITH A CUP.

YOU SAID I'M
ALLOWED ONE CALL.

A BLUEJAY.

[IMITATES A BLUEJAY]

WILL YOU PLEASE
HOLD MY MESSAGES?

[MAKES HARMONICA SOUNDS
OF NOBODY KNOWS
THE TROUBLE I'VE SEEN]

HEY, LOOK ON
THE BRIGHT SIDE.

THIS PLACE
IS GOING COED.

THIS IS
JUST THE BEGINNING.

WE KNOW TOO MUCH.

WE GOT THE BEST BEACH,

AND THEY WON'T STOP
UNTIL THEY GET IT.

THIS MAY BE
A GARDEN OF EDEN,

BUT GUNDY'S NOT GOD,
AND I'M NOT MOVING.

GOOD MORNING,
GENTLEMEN.

I TRUST YOU HAD
A PLEASANT NIGHT.

IT WAS FABULOUS.

YOU GOT
A REAL FLEA CIRCUS.

COME ON, BOY, JUMP.

I WON'T MINCE WORDS
WITH YOU.

THERE ARE SOME
VERY IMPORTANT PEOPLE

WITH SOME IMPORTANT PLANS
FOR THIS ISLAND.

WE MUST HAVE
YOUR PROPERTY.

OVER MY DEAD BODY,
MR. GUNDY!

THAT, TOO,
CAN BE ARRANGED.

I GOT FRIENDS
IN LOW PLACES, TOO.

YOU PUSH PEOPLE
AROUND,

SOMETIMES PEOPLE
MIGHT PUSH BACK.

BE THAT AS IT MAY,
MR. MONIKER,

YOU HAVE UNTIL TONIGHT
TO SELL US CLUB PARADISE.

IF WE DON'T?

THEN...

YOU WILL BE VERY,
VERY SORRY.

NOW, YOU BOTH
ARE FREE TO GO.

YOUR LADY FRIEND
PAID YOUR FINE.

ATTACK!

SO LONG, CONSTABLE.

YOU WON'T HAVE JACK MONIKER
TO KICK AROUND ANYMORE.

YOU DON'T HAVE TO BEAT ME
TWICE WITH A RUBBER HOSE.

NOBODY GET AWAY WITH
DOING THAT TO ME!

WHAT'S GOING ON?

WHY DID YOU
GO OUT TO THE YACHT?

I THOUGHT THAT PEOPLE
WERE OUT TO GET ME.

NOW I KNOW.
THEY ARE OUT TO GET ME.

THERE THEY ARE NOW!

[SQUAWK]

WHAT ABOUT THE LAW?

IN THIS COUNTRY,
THE CONSTITUTION
IS WRITTEN IN PENCIL.

IT IS SO LOVELY HERE.

I HATE BEAUTY.

IT'S BORING
LOOKING AT BEAUTY
DAY IN AND DAY OUT.

ANYWAY, IT CAN'T LAST
MUCH LONGER.

ARE YOU ALWAYS
THIS CHEERFUL
IN THE MORNING?

EITHER THE AMERICANS
WILL MOVE IN

AND TURN IT
INTO MIAMI BEACH

OR THE RUSSIANS
AND CUBANS WILL COME

AND TURN THE ISLAND
INTO ALBANIA.

THERE REALLY IS NO HOPE.

ISLANDS
LIKE SAINT NICHOLAS

MAKE NICE MISSILE BASES,

NAVAL STATIONS,

MONEY LAUNDRIES.

IF THERE'S NO HOPE,
WHY DON'T YOU LEAVE?

GO TO NEW YORK
OR LONDON.

NO. IF THE WORLD'S
GOING TO HELL
IN A BUCKET,

I WANT TO HOLD
THE HANDLE.

WILL YOU EXCUSE ME?

TA-TA.

MUST SEE A MAN
ABOUT SOMETHING.

IT'S MUGGY.

AMAZING.

EISENHOWER
HADN'T MADE UP HIS MIND

WHETHER TO BE A DEMOCRAT
OR A REPUBLICAN UNTIL 1955.

I NEVER KNEW THAT.

ISN'T THAT
INCREDIBLE?

JESUS CHRIST!

LINDA, WHAT
ARE YOU DOING?

RANDY, I'M NOT GOING HOME
WITH BRA LINES.

PLEASE.
DON'T BE SILLY.

WE'RE ALL ADULTS.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

CAN IT!

IT'S NOT
THAT THEY'RE
NOT BEAUTIFUL,

BUT THERE'S STRICT
GOVERNMENT REGULATIONS
AGAINST NUDE SUNBATHING.

BESIDES, IT'S
MORE TANTALIZING
TO CONCEAL THAN REVEAL.

I NEVER THOUGHT OF IT
THAT WAY.

PLEASE DO.

JESUS, IT'S SPREADING!

GROWING IT WOULD
TAKE THREE MONTHS.

MAYBE YOU SHOULD
HAVE BROUGHT SOME.

HEY, JACK, JACK!

LISTEN, YOU GOT
TO DO US A FAVOR.

BIG FAVOR.

FAVOR FOR A FAVOR.

DO US THIS FAVOR--

WHAT?

WE'RE LOOKING
FOR JOHNNY.

WHO'S JOHNNY?

NO. SMOKE,
JAYS, JOINTS, BUZZ.

NOT A LITTLE.
I WANT A BIG BAG.

I'M A NARCOTICS
AGENT.

YOU'RE BOTH
UNDER ARREST.

COME ON,
I'M KIDDING!

IF YOU WANT SOME,
ASK THAT GUY THERE.

DON'T LOOK!

IF YOU GET CAUGHT,
I DON'T KNOW YOU.

BE COOL.

WHICH GUY?

I DON'T KNOW.
I DIDN'T LOOK.

AAH!

JACKIE, THAT IS
SO OBVIOUS!

I CAN'T BELIEVE
YOU'RE DOING THAT.

IT'S FRIDAY,
MARY LOU,

AND NOTHING'S
HAPPENED YET.

JACKIE, PLEASE,
I DON'T WANT TO GET BUSTED.

TELL YOU WHAT.

I'LL MAKE YOU A DEAL.

I KNOW A PLACE
THAT'S TOTALLY SECLUDED.

YOU CAN DO ANYTHING.

SOUND GOOD?

HEY, EVERYBODY!

WHO'S UP FOR
A NUDE ORGY PICNIC
AT DEVIL'S HOLE?

ME!
I AM!
YEAH!

YOU COMING?

IT'S YOUR LAST CHANCE.

NO, I GOT TO WAIT
FOR JOHNNY.

HI!

HELLO.

YOU GOT TO COME.
NUDE BEACH!

THE WEED'S COMING.

ONE OF US
GOT TO STAY HERE.

IT'S A NUDE BEACH!

ONE OF US
HAS GOT TO STAY HERE

I'LL CATCH YOU
LATER.

BESIDES, I WANT
TO TRY THIS THING.

I'LL TOOL AROUND HERE.

IT'S GOOD FOR THE LATS,
IT'S GOOD FOR THE PECS.

HEY, I'M DOING IT!

OH!

HA HA HA!

HEY, LOCK
YOUR FRONT KNEE

AND TILT
THE MAST FORWARD.

[SURFING MUSIC PLAYS]

I DON'T WANT
A POLITICAL DISCUSSION,

BUT COMMUNISM WON'T WORK
IN A COUNTRY LIKE THIS.

COMMUNISM WILL NOT
ATTRACT WOMEN 18-26,
FOR INSTANCE.

GEE, I LOVE BEING NAKED.

HOW ABOUT YOU?

I THOUGHT I DID,
BUT I DON'T.

GET UNDRESSED. WE'LL JOG.

NO, THANK YOU.

HONEY,
HE'LL BE HERE
IN 10 MINUTES.

WE SHOULD
GET DRESSED.

I WANT TO BE NAKED FOREVER!

OH, FOR CHRIST'S SAKE!

I KNOW WE SHOULD HAVE
GONE TO ACAPULCO!

WHAT ARE YOU
LOOKING FOR?

OUR CLOTHES
ARE GONE.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN,
THEY'RE GONE?

ALL RIGHT!
THEY LEFT OUR
CAMERAS AND WATCHES.

BIG, HAIRY DEAL!

WE'RE NAKED,
YOU JERK!

WE'VE BEEN NAKED
ALL AFTERNOON.

I'M NOT WALKING
THROUGH TOWN
THIS WAY.

COME ON,
LET'S GO.

IT'S STUPID
TO GO OFF

WITHOUT KNOWING
WHERE YOU'RE GOING.

WHOEVER
TOOK OUR CLOTHES

COULD BE
WATCHING US NOW.

WE DON'T KNOW
WHAT THEY WANT.

I SUGGEST
WE WALK VERY CALMLY
IN SINGLE FILE

OFF THIS BEACH

AND DON'T STOP
FOR ANYTHING.

IN SINGLE FILE,
AND I MEAN YOU.

WHO DIED
AND MADE HIM BOSS?

[IMITATES BIRD CALL]

THERE MIGHT BE
POISONOUS SNAKES HERE.

NO, THEY INTRODUCED
THE MONGOOSE HERE LONG AGO.

THE MONGOOSE KILLS SNAKES.

WHAT'S A MONGOOSE?

A BIG RAT
WITH BIG TEETH.

THIS MUST
BE NORTH.

WE'RE NOT
MAKING A MAP.

WHAT ARE YOU,
MARCO POLO?

IF WE DON'T KNOW
OUR DIRECTION,

WE'LL GO
IN CIRCLES.

I'M GETTING
VERY HUNGRY.

THAT'S WILD
SUGAR CANE.

RANDY,
I WON'T EAT REAL SUGAR.

WE'LL FIND YOU
A SWEET AND LOW FIELD.

WOULD YOU MOVE?

I HOPE
THAT WAS YOUR FINGER.

I COULD HAVE DONE
THAT DIVE

IF I DIDN'T HAVE
DIARRHEA.

OH, BOY.

THIS IS PERFECT.

I'VE LOST MY MONEY,
MY CLUB,

AND NOW I'VE LOST
MY GUESTS.

MAYBE THEY TOOK A HIKE.

NO. THIS ISN'T
A HIKING CROWD.

THAT'S IT, RANDY.
I CAN'T GO ON.

DON'T GIVE UP, BABY.

WE'RE ALMOST OUT OF HERE.

WE'VE BEEN WALKING
FOR THREE HOURS.

THERE'S NO WAY OUT!

NO, WE'RE CLOSE.
I CAN SENSE IT.

YOU KNOW,
I WAS A BOY SCOUT.

I'VE BEEN
WATCHING THE SUN
ALL AFTERNOON.

I'VE BEEN KEEPING
THE MOUNTAIN ON OUR RIGHT

AND WALKING PERPENDICULAR

TO THE LINE
OF THE SUN'S MOVEMENT.

WE'RE O.K., HONEY,
TRUST ME.

THE ISLAND IS ONLY
7 MILES ACROSS

AT ITS WIDEST POINT.

EVEN IF WE HAD TO CROSS
FROM SHORE TO SHORE,

THE LONGEST IT WOULD TAKE
WOULD BE FOUR HOURS,

EVEN AT 2 MILES PER HOUR.

NO, WE'LL BE O.K.

I'M SURE OF IT.

DON'T WORRY
ABOUT A THING.

YOU KNOW WHAT'S FUNNY,
HONEY?

I LIKE IT OUT HERE.

IT'S PRIMAL,
AND IT'S...

WELL, IT'S HONEST.

YOU DON'T SURVIVE
THE JUNGLE

IN A TIE AND A SUIT.

YOU SURVIVE WITH
PURE ANIMAL INSTINCT.

GOD, MY SENSES
ARE ALIVE!

WHEN I'M OUT HERE,
I ASK THE BIG QUESTIONS,

LIKE, IS IT MAN
AGAINST NATURE

OR IS MAN IN HARMONY
WITH NATURE?

THE LATTER, I THINK.

YOU KNOW WHAT
I'M TALKING ABOUT?

AAAH!

IT'S A SNAKE!
DON'T PANIC!

IT'S A BURMESE!

THEY'RE SWALLOWERS,
NOT BITERS.

LINDA!

LINDA, AAH!

OH! OH!

AAH!

THEY'LL COME BACK
IN LITTLE BOXES.

PANSY, DOUBLE.
ANYTHING.

WE GOT A BIG PROBLEM.

DON'T TELL ME.

WE LOST A SAILBOARD.

SOMEONE TOOK IT OUT
AND DIDN'T BRING IT BACK.

WHICH SOMEONE?

NAMED BARRY.

WHERE IS HE?

HE DIDN'T
COME BACK, NEITHER.

DESMOND SEE HIM
GO WAY OUT!

THAT'S 10 PEOPLE
LOST IN ONE DAY.

WHAT IS THIS,

THE BERMUDA
TRIANGLE?

SHOULDN'T WE CALL
THE POLICE?

NO. THEY'LL BE
CALLING ME.

WE'LL GET AS MANY
BOATS AS POSSIBLE

TO LOOK FOR HIM.

TELL THE SURVIVORS--
I MEAN GUESTS--

TO STAY
IN THEIR ROOMS.

BIG STORM COMING.

I WILL.

NO PROBLEM.

[HORN BLOWS]

[SURFING MUSIC PLAYS]

HELP!

HELP!

HELP!

HELP ME,
YOU SCHMUCKS!

SHH.
WAIT, LISTEN.

IS THAT MUSIC?

YEAH.

THAT'S A BLENDER.

CIVILIZATION!
LET'S GO!

HELLO.

WE'VE BEEN
IN THE WOODS.

WE WALK
INTO THE TAJ MAHAL,

AND I'M WEARING
A TOWEL.

ANY LUCK?

NO. NOT A TRACE.

THEY CALLED OFF
THE SEARCH.

5 MILES OUT,
I THOUGHT I SAW
A SHARK FLOSSING.

ANYTHING I CAN DO?

YOU EVER HEARD OF
A CHINESE BASKET JOB?

IT SOUNDS LIKE FUN.

PHILADELPHIA, I SHOULD HAVE
TAKEN YOUR ADVICE.

WHY DON'T I JUST
GET THE HELL OUT?

WHAT WOULD HAPPEN
TO ERNEST?

YOU CAN'T LIE AROUND

AND PRETEND
NOTHING'S WRONG.

NO MAN
IS AN ISLAND, JACK.

WHAT THE HELL
DOES THAT MEAN?

NO MAN IS A WOMAN,
EITHER.

[TELEPHONE RINGS]

HELLO.

REALLY?
THEY'RE SAFE!

THEY FOUND THEM

AT THE ROYAL
SAINT NICHOLAS.

LET'S HIT
THE BLACKJACK TABLES.

WE'LL HAVE
A DRINK FIRST.

YOU GUYS GO.

ALL RIGHT!
LET'S PARTY!

THANK YOU.

I GUESS MY LUCK
HAS CHANGED.

I DON'T THINK SO.

WHERE THE HELL
DID YOU GO?

I ALMOST SENT
YOUR NAME TO RIPLEY'S.

SOMEBODY STOLE
OUR CLOTHES.

IT WAS
FRUIT CITY.

THE BUS LEAVES
IN FIVE MINUTES.

BE ON IT,

OR I'M SENDING
THOSE PICTURES
OF YOU EATING PORK.

I'LL ROUND UP
THE STRAYS.

COME ON, BABY!
KISS IT.

COME ON!

MAMA FEELS GOOD
TONIGHT!

NUMBER!

OH!

2, CRAPS.

HONEY, THAT'S OVER
$1,000 ALREADY!

IT'S TIME TO QUIT.

I WANT TO GET
TO A PLACE

WHERE I DON'T CARE
ABOUT MONEY.

I WANT YOU TO
GET THERE WITH ME.

COME ON, RED DEVIL!

YEAH!

OH!

2, CRAPS.

OPEN UP A LINE
OF CREDIT.

NO, THAT'S IT!

YOU'RE QUITTING
WHILE YOU'RE DOWN?

YOU'RE
A PLASTIC SURGEON.

SHAVE SOME SCHNOZES,
AND YOU CAN RETIRE.

LISTEN, DOC,
LET HER HAVE SOME FUN.

BUY WOMEN
ANYTHING THEY WANT,

AGREE WITH THEM,
MAKE THEM HAPPY,

AND JUMP 'EM
WHEN THEY'RE NOT LOOKING.

YOU CALL THAT
A PHILOSOPHY?

LADY LUCK
TOOK A HIKE.

YOU READY
TO GO HOME?

NO. WE'RE STAYING HERE
THE REST OF THE WEEK.

YOU'LL BE PAYING
FOR THE REST
OF YOUR LIFE.

HONEY, GET ME $1,000
WORTH OF CHIPS.

THAT'S IT!

COME ON!

SNAKE EYES!

SO, THE FIREMAN.

SO, THE MIDDLEMAN.

WHAT A BUSINESS, HUH?

PEOPLE ARE
A PAIN IN THE ASS.

PEOPLE ARE ALL RIGHT.

IT'S THE BUSINESS
I CAN'T STAND.

YOU'RE A SMART GUY.

WHY KNOCK
YOUR BRAINS OUT

IN A SHITHOLE
LIKE THAT?

LET SOMEBODY PUT
A REAL HOTEL THERE.

I'D SEE TO IT
YOU GOT OUT

WITH A LITTLE MONEY
IN YOUR POCKET.

WHAT DO YOU THINK?

HIT ME.

YOU'LL HIT
AN 18?

21!

YOU'RE
A LITTLE CRAZY.

I LIKE THAT.
KEEP PLAYING.

I'M CRAZY,
BUT I'M NOT STUPID.

THANKS FOR THE OFFER.

YOU'RE FIRED.
YOUR LUCK IS ROTTEN.

FIRED?

NAW, YOU'RE
NOT FIRED.

THANK YOU, SIR.

NO, YOU'RE FIRED.
GET OUT OF HERE!

CAN I GET YOU A DRINK

WHILE YOU'RE WAITING
FOR A NEW DEALER?

* MOTHER COUNTRY,
MOTHER COUNTRY *

* WE HAVE BEEN TOLD *

* THAT IT'S ENGLAND,
FRANCE, GERMANY *

* PORTUGAL *

* SINCE THE DAYS OF OLD *

* BUT I KNOW *

* THAT LIFE COULD NOT START
IN A REFRIGERATOR *

* IT HAD TO BE
IN AN INCUBATOR *

* SO MARK I WORDS,
MARK THESE WORDS *

* FOR I AND I
COULD NEVER BE THE THIRD *

* THIRD WORLD
PEOPLE *

* REMEMBER WHERE
YOU'RE COMING FROM *

* THIRD WORLD
PEOPLE *

* KNOW WHERE YOU BELONG *

* FATHER COUNTRY,
OH, FATHER COUNTRY *

* I BEEN TOLD
TIME AND TIME AGAIN *

* THAT IT'S AMERICA,
FRANCE, GERMANY... **

EXCUSE ME
FOR ONE SECOND.

DOC!

DO ME A BIG FAVOR.

I GOT TWO CHICKS
OVER THERE

THAT ARE HOT TO TROT.

I CAN'T FIND BARRY.

CAN YOU JOIN US?

ARE YOU INSANE?
I'M A MARRIED MAN.

YEAH. NICE MARRIAGE.

LOOK, YOU JUST HAVE
TO TALK TO THEM.

THEY LOVE ME.

WE'LL DANCE, HAVE FUN.

I'LL GET SOME WEED.

THIS IS THE NIGHT!

JUST KEEP THEM OCCUPIED.

GO, GO, GO!
I'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

BARRY!

AH!

WHO'S THERE?

WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?

OH, MY GOD.

WE SCORED!

WE SCORED!

THE SCORE...

OF THE CENTURY.

OH!

OH!

THERE'S SO MUCH!

THERE'S TOO MUCH.

THIS IS
THE WRONG BAG.

THIS IS A MISTAKE.

IT'S GOING TO TAKE 20 YEARS
TO SMOKE THIS STUFF.

I'M GOING TO GET
20 YEARS FOR THIS.

20 YEARS FOR A MISTAKE.

PLEASE.

YES, I'LL HOLD.

ANYTHING?

IT'S A LONG SHOT,
BUT I'M TRYING.

MR. GUNDY!

WHEN YOU THREATEN SOMEBODY,
YOU'RE RIGHT ON TIME.

ENOUGH INSULTS.

YOU HAVE HAD MORE
THAN ENOUGH TIME

TO CONSIDER MY OFFER.

I WANT AN ANSWER.

ARE YOU READY TO SELL?

TO TELL YOU
THE TRUTH,

IT WASN'T
MUCH OF AN OFFER.

WE'VE BEEN TOO BUSY
TO THINK ABOUT IT.

WE NEED MORE TIME.

LIKE MAYBE A YEAR.

NO.

YOUR TIME HAS COME.

* THE SOUTH AFRICAN PLAN IS *

* NO TEA, NO COFFEE,
NO DAY *

* NO WAY *

* GO AWAY *

* WHAT THE PLAN... **

TAKE THEM!

I'LL REASON WITH THEM.

THEY'VE GOT GUNS!

THEY DO HAVE GUNS.

LOVE YOU.

LET'S HAVE A CONFERENCE
OUTSIDE.

* OH, ISLAND IN THE SUN *

* WILLED TO ME
BY MY FATHER'S HAND **

THIS WAY!

THIS WAY, THIS WAY!

HERE!

JACK!

DO YOU
BELIEVE THIS?

[GUNSHOTS]

OH!

OH!

[THUNDER]

OH!

OH, THIS IS NICE.

KIND OF A HARVEST MOTIF.

YOU BETTER
GET OUT OF HERE.

WHAT WILL YOU DO?

FRIENDS WILL HELP ME.

THERE'S A SICKNESS
IN THIS PLACE.

IT'S TIME TO OPERATE.

YOU'RE NOT
GOING ANYWHERE.

OUT OF MY WAY.

I DON'T WANT
TO HURT YOU.

GOOD LUCK.

JUST COOL, JACK.

"JUST COOL, JACK."

SURE, GO START
A REVOLUTION!

IT WON'T LOOK GOOD
ON YOUR RESUME!

WE'RE FINISHED
AS PARTNERS!

I'M GOING BACK TO CHICAGO,
WHERE IT'S SAFE.

HELP!

HELP!

ANYBODY, HELP ME!

THE OWNER OF CLUB PARADISE
IS DYING TO SELL.

WE WERE EXPECTING
SIGNED DOCUMENTS
THIS MORNING.

LET'S FACE IT, HEINZ.

WE'RE NOT
IN SWITZERLAND.

YOU CAN'T EVEN
GET CARBON PAPER

THAT HASN'T BEEN USED
100 TIMES ALREADY.

BUT WE ARE CLOSE.
VERY, VERY CLOSE.

VERY, VERY CLOSE.

EXCELLENT.

NOW, IF YOU
WILL EXCUSE ME--

I KNOW YOU'RE BUSY,
BUT BEFORE YOU GO,

I HAVE A SURPRISE.

BECAUSE YOU HAVE BEEN
SO COOPERATIVE,

WE HAVE TAKEN THE LIBERTY

OF DESIGNING
A NEW RESIDENCE FOR YOU.

HE'S GOT
A HEART LIKE DUMBO!

DUMBO THE ELEPHANT,
WITH THE BIG EARS.

WELL, LIKE HIM--

NOT THE EARS,
THE HEART.

FORGET IT.

SOL, LET'S GO.

THANK YOU.

SOL, WHAT'S GOING ON?

I GOT NO WAITERS,

NO MAIL,
NO ELECTRICITY!

YOU GOT
A GENERAL STRIKE.

I WILL CRUSH
ERNEST REED!

O.K., O.K.
YOU WANT A STROKE?

A STROKE IS THIS.

SLOW DOWN
AND FIGURE THIS OUT.

GO AFTER REED
IF YOU HAVE TO,

BUT FIRST
SETTLE THIS STRIKE.

RAISE THE MINIMUM WAGE
TO $1.00 A DAY.

IT'S ONLY FAIR.
GIVE A MAN SOME DIGNITY!

BUT DO SOMETHING, SOL.

I GOT 150 POUNDS
OF LOBSTER

MELTING IN MY FREEZER.

I WILL EAT
HIS BONES!

OOH.

WHERE'S THE EGGS
AND THE BACON
THAT'S USUALLY HERE?

RANDY,
WHERE'S MY BRAN?

I CAN'T GO
WITHOUT FIBER.

WE'RE NOT
PAYING $100 A DAY
FOR RICE KRISPIES!

HAVE YOU SEEN
ANY OF THE STAFF?

THERE'S NO TOWELS
OR TOILET PAPER.

CALL HOUSEKEEPING.

WE HAVE NO PHONE.

GOOD MORNING!
ANYBODY HUNGRY?

WHERE'S BREAKFAST?

WE GOT
SOMETHING SPECIAL--

BREAKFAST JUMP UP!

WHAT'S
BREAKFAST JUMP UP?

WHEN YOU JUMP UP AND
MAKE YOUR OWN BREAKFAST.

[COUGH]

I'M ALIVE!

I'M ALIVE!

I MADE IT! I'M ALIVE!

HA HA HA HA!

I MADE IT!

O.K., STAY COOL,
STAY COOL, STAY COOL.

I GOT TO FIGURE OUT
WHERE I AM.

FIGURE 16, 18 HOURS
OUT THERE, MAYBE.

FIGURE 10 MILES AN HOUR...

OR KNOTS.

ALLOW FOR THE GULF STREAM,
FIGURE IN A HEAD WIND,

THAT PUTS ME...
I HAVE NO IDEA.

STAY COOL, STAY COOL!

GOT TO THINK CLEAR NOW.

FIRST THING I DO
IS BUILD A HOUSE.

PEOPLE OF SAINT NICHOLAS!

TODAY IS A DAY THAT WILL
LIVE IN INFAMOUSITY,

A DAY THAT ERNEST REED

AND HIS SUBVERSIVE
AMERICAN COMRADE
JACK MONIKER

ARE THREATENING THE PEACE
AND PROSPERITY

OF THIS, OUR ANCESTRAL
IF NOT NATIVE HOME!

[SHOUTING]

I THEREFORE DECLARE
A NATIONAL STATE OF EMERGENCY.

I IMPOSE MARTIAL LAW,
AND I ORDER ALL MEMBERS

OF THE NATIONAL
DEFENSE RESERVE ARMY GUARD

TO REPORT IMMEDIATELY
FOR ACTIVE DUTY!

I HAVE TO
CALL SOMEBODY.

DON'T GO STARTING
ANY VILE RUMORS!

LET ME START THEM!

IT'S NOT A REVOLUTION.

IT'S A BUNCH OF FARMERS
WITH RAKES AND SHOVELS.

THAT'S WHAT I LIKE
ABOUT THE CAYMAN ISLANDS.

YOU CAN
DO BUSINESS THERE.

WE COULD DO
REAL DAMAGE THERE.

TRANSFER ME TO
THE CAYMAN ISLANDS.

GOOD GRACIOUS,
IT'S THE FIREMAN.

I THOUGHT YOU'D GONE.

PEOPLE ARE SO QUICK
TO FLEE THESE DAYS.

FIRST HINT OF A WAR,
THEY START RUNNING.

I WAS CERTAIN
YOU'D BE BACK
IN MINNESOTA.

I CAN'T LEAVE HERE.

I'M SUPPORTING THOUSANDS
OF MOSQUITOES.

THIS IS PARADISE.

KEEP LOOKING.

YOU'LL NEVER FIND IT
IN THIS WORLD.

WHAT'S YOUR IDEA
OF PARADISE?

AN EXPENSIVE HOTEL SUITE
IN NEW YORK

WITH TWO HOPELESSLY
DEPRAVED YOUNG WOMEN.

I'M EXPECTING AN ARMY
AT THE CLUB.

YOU FIREMEN
ARE ALL THE SAME.

YOU DRIVE FAST,
THROW WATER ON THINGS,

AND LEAVE A MESS.

YOU'VE BEEN
HERE FOR 15 YEARS,

SAYING,
"IT DOESN'T MATTER."

WELL, IT DOES MATTER.

MY PARTNER'S ABOUT
TO START A REVOLUTION,

AND A LOT OF PEOPLE
ARE GOING TO GET HURT

UNLESS WE DO SOMETHING.

IF THIS ISLAND GOES UP,

THEN TOMORROW,
ANOTHER ONE.

THEN THE AMERICANS AND
RUSSIANS GET NERVOUS,

THEN SOME OLD FART
PUSHES THE BUTTON,

AND HEY!
THERE GOES CLEVELAND

IN A BLINDING
WHITE FLASH.

I DON'T WANT THAT
ON MY CONSCIENCE.

RIGHT!

YOU START THE WAR,

I'LL BRING
THE NUCLEAR WEAPONS.

BE CAREFUL
OF THE SOLDIERS.

THEY'LL SHOOT YOU
ON SIGHT.

I'LL TAKE
AN UMBRELLA.

YOUR GRACE.

* YOU CAN'T KEEP
A GOOD MAN DOWN *

* NO, YOU CAN'T KEEP
A GOOD MAN DOWN *

* YOU CAN'T KEEP
A GOOD MAN DOWN *

* WELL, YOU CAN'T KEEP
A GOOD MAN DOWN *

* WELL, NOW, YOU CAN'T KEEP
A GOOD MAN DOWN **

YOU GOT TO GO AWAY.

WHAT KIND OF WELCOME
IS THAT?

WHAT ARE YOU
DOING HERE?

I'M GOING TO
PUT OUT A FIRE.

MORNING,
EVERYONE.

ONE BRIEF
ANNOUNCEMENT.

GATHER ALL
YOUR POSSESSIONS

AND MEET ME
ON THE BEACH
IN FIVE MINUTES.

NO NEED TO PANIC.

IT'S JUST IN CASE
THERE'S A CIVIL WAR TODAY.

REBELS!

NO. COME ON.
THEY'RE NOT REBELS!

JUST A LOCAL
ROTC DRILL TEAM.

YOUR PEOPLE
HAD BETTER GET OUT.

YOU'RE MY PEOPLE.
PHILLIPA'S MY PEOPLE.

LET'S ALL GET OUT!

THERE'S
NO OTHER WAY.

WHAT ABOUT A LIVE
TELEVISED DEBATE?

WE HAVE NO TV.

RATTAN WILL MAKE
A GREAT BULLETPROOF
BARRICADE.

WHY DON'T YOU
JUST BUILD A WICKER TANK?

* LEFT TURN *

* QUICK MARCH *

* LEFT, RIGHT *

* LEFT, RIGHT *

* LEFT, RIGHT *

* LEFT, RIGHT *

* I SAID TO LIFT YOUR FOOT
AND PUT THEM DOWN *

* SAID LIFT YOUR FOOT
AND PUT THEM DOWN *

* THEM GOVERNMENT SHOES
IS NOT YOUR OWN *

* LEFT, RIGHT *

* LEFT, RIGHT *

* LEFT, RIGHT *

STOP
RIGHT THERE!

I'M GOING TO
GET THIS!

* HE COME, HE COME *

* THE SOLDIER A-COME *

* THE MILITIA, THEY POP-POP
WITH A FIRE IN GUN *

WHAT THE HELL!

MOVE IT!
GET YOUR--

HOLD IT
RIGHT THERE!

* HEY, MON, THE SOLDIER
TAKE OVER **

BARRY!

BARRY!
I SCORED!

[LOVE IS A MANY
SPLENDORED THING
PLAYING]

AH! NICE OUTFIT.

YOU DIDN'T BRING THIS.

IS IT COTTON?

HOPSACK.

THAT'S COOL
FOR THIS CLIMATE.

[GUNSHOT]

LET'S GO!

HOLD IT, MR. GUNDY.
I GOT YOU COVERED.

YOU'RE ON MY PROPERTY.

YOU MOVE,
AND I'LL SHOOT.

HOLD IT,
MR. ISLAND JACK.

WHAT THE HELL
IS GOING ON?

LISTEN, I'M TRYING
TO STOP A WAR, O.K.?

GIVE ME A BREAK.

RIGHT ON.

FIRE!

[GUNSHOT]

LIMBO TIME!
HOW LOW CAN YOU GO?

GO, GO, GO!

[CALYPSO MUSIC PLAYING]

HUH!
WHERE ARE YOU GOING?

SHIT!

WHAT IS THIS?

A SCHOOLYARD
RECESS?

GET UP! UP, UP!

ONWARD, TROOPS.
GO ON!

LET'S GO! GO!
GET THEM!

GO, JACK! RUN!

SURRENDER ERNEST REED,

AND YOU WILL ALL BE
RELEASED UNHARMED!

HE'S NOT HERE.

KILL THEM ALL!

[WOMAN SOBS]

NO PRISONERS!

I DON'T WANT
TO DIE!

RANDY--

SHUT UP.

LOOK! LOOK, MON!

* WAI-O, WAI-O *

* THE LION AWAKES AGAIN *

* WAI-O, WAI-O *

* THE LION AWAKES AGAIN *

* WAI-O, WAI-O... *

OH, YOUR GRACE!
HA HA!

* LOOK OUT THE WAY *

* GET OUT THE WAY *

* DON'T YOU STAND UP
IN HIS WAY *

* HERE IN THE JUNGLE *

* THE LION MUST ARISE *

* THERE'S GOING TO BE
A RUMBLE *

* HE'S GOT FIRE
IN HIS EYES *

* STAND CLEAR,
MY SWEET THING *

* HE'S GOT FIRE
IN HIS EYES *

* SO GET OUT THE WAY *

* LOOK OUT THE WAY *

* DON'T YOU STAND UP
IN HIS WAY **

MR. GUNDY, AS THE OFFICIAL
REPRESENTATIVE

OF HER BRITANNIC MAJESTY
QUEEN ELIZABETH II,

I ORDER YOU TO WITHDRAW,

OR I SHALL BE FORCED
TO SHOOT YOU.

WITHDRAW, SIR ANTHONY?
NEVER!

SOLDIERS,
DISPERSE THAT CROWD.

IF THEY DON'T MOVE,
SHOOT THEM.

IF THEY SHOOT,
YOU DIE.

IT'S AMAZING HOW
PEOPLE CAN GET THEMSELVES

IN THESE SITUATIONS

WHEN, BASICALLY,
YOU'RE NOT THAT FAR APART

ON THIS THING.

NOW, SOL--
MAY I CALL YOU SOL?

THIS HIGH-FINANCE
THING

MAY LOOK GOOD NOW,

BUT A YEAR FROM NOW,

YOUR LITTLE FRIENDS
WILL TURN ON YOU

AND GIVE YOU
THE HOSING
OF A LIFETIME.

THERE'S NOT
MUCH LOYALTY
IN BIG BUSINESS.

[SHIP HORN BLOWS]

FORGET THIS PLACE!
YOU'LL LOVE THE CAYMANS.

BEAUTIFUL,
JUST BEAUTIFUL.

AND THE FOOD!

THEY GOT LOBSTER
AS BIG AS A CHILD.

THE BOAT SAILED
WITHOUT YOU.

[HORN]

YAY!

WELL DONE, FIREMAN.

YOU, TOO, YOUR GRACE.

YEAH! VICTORY!

HA HA HA!

HEY, JACK, THANKS
FOR WHAT YOU DONE
FOR MY PEOPLE.

IT'S NO PROBLEM,
MR. REED.

YOU'RE SO HOT,
YOU CAN GET ELECTED POPE.

BUSINESS WILL BE
SO GOOD FROM NOW ON.

CLUB PARADISE--

YOUR HOT SPOT
FOR FUN WITH GUNS
IN THE SUN.

LOOK AT
ALL THIS WEED!

WE'RE SET
FOR LIFE!

CHICKS IN MIAMI
WILL LOVE IT.

WE'LL NEVER MAKE MIAMI
WITH THIS MUCH WEIGHT!

WHAT?

NO!

* FIRE, FREE MY SOUL
FROM BABYLON **

YAY!AHH!

* OH, YEAH, OH, YEAH,
OH, YEAH, OH YEAH *

* HEY *

* NO MAN IS AN ISLAND,
JACK *

* YOU COULD BE TOUGHER
THAN A ROCK *

* ONE AND ONE'S
GOT TO MAKE CONTACT *

* TO GET ON
THE RIGHT TRACK, YEAH *

* WHEN YOU SEE IN YOUR LIFE
SOMETHING MISSING *

* AND FOR ALL THE GOOD THINGS
THAT YOU'RE WISHING *

* THERE'S A PLACE
YOU CAN GO *

* WHERE THE VIBES
ARE NICE *

* JUST LIKE PARADISE *

* SWEET PARADISE *

* SWEET PARADISE *

* CLUB PARADISE *

* SWEET PARADISE **

* ONE, TWO, THREE,
FOUR, FIVE, SIX, SEVEN *

* MONDAY'S CALLING YOU
TOO EARLY *

* WHEN YOU'RE
SOUND ASLEEP *

* BELLS ARE RINGING
BY YOUR BEDSIDE *

* AND OUT IN THE STREETS *

* USUALLY MONDAY'S
LONG ENOUGH *

* BUT THIS IS
JUST THE START *

* TUESDAY'S JUST
THE SAME AS MONDAY *

* WITHOUT
THE SURPRISING PART *

* WEDNESDAY'S
POINT OF NO RETURN *

* WHEN YOU'VE SQUANDERED
ALL YOU'VE EARNED *

* ONE, TWO, THREE,
FOUR, FIVE, SIX *

* SEVEN-DAY WEEKEND *

* ONE, TWO, THREE,
FOUR, FIVE, SIX *

* SEVEN-DAY WEEKEND *

* OH, YES, THAT'S ALL
I'M THINKING ABOUT *

* AS THE DAYS GO BY *

* SPEND YOUR LIFE
ON HOLIDAY *

* AND EVEN WHEN I DIE *

* THERE COULD BE
BUT ONE INSCRIPTION *

* "THIS WAS NOT HIS DAY" *

* IF IT ISN'T THURSDAY
ANYMORE *

* IT MUST BE FRIDAY *

* I CAN'T WAIT
UNTIL I MAYBE *

* GET OFF WORK
AND SEE MY BABY *

* ONE, TWO, THREE,
FOUR, FIVE, SIX *

* SEVEN-DAY WEEKEND *

* ONE, TWO, THREE,
FOUR, FIVE, SIX *

* SEVEN-DAY WEEKEND *

OW!

* I CAN'T WAIT
UNTIL I MAYBE *

* GET OFF WORK
AND SEE MY BABY *

* ONE, TWO, THREE,
FOUR, FIVE, SIX *

* SEVEN-DAY WEEKEND *

* ONE, TWO, THREE,
FOUR, FIVE, SIX *

* SEVEN-DAY WEEKEND... **

CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY
WARNER BROS.

CAPTIONING PERFORMED BY
THE NATIONAL CAPTIONING
INSTITUTE, INC.

CAPTIONS COPYRIGHT 1988
WARNER BROS., INC.