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(SOFT PIANO MUSIC)

(FAINT CHATTER)

(LIGHT, FESTIVE MUSIC)

(LIGHT, FESTIVE MUSIC)

It's November.

ADAM: I think it was Shakespeare who once said

'A stranger is just a friend you haven't met before'.

'A stranger is just a friend you haven't met before'.

I blame the Americans.

Maybe it wasn't Shakespeare.

I think I might have read it in a fortune cookie.

I think I might have read it in a fortune cookie.

Anyhow, I like to believe it's true.

There's so much more that connects us than makes us different.

Perhaps we should offer the odd random "hello" a bit more often.

Perhaps we should offer the odd random "hello" a bit more often.

Who knows, maybe the old fella next to you in the Post Office queue

hasn't spoken to anyone all day.

A casual "how are you doing?" might be a real tonic.

A casual "how are you doing?" might be a real tonic.

Maybe we should try it.

I mean, what's the worst that can happen?

I mean, what's the worst that can happen?

(TRAIN HONKS)

(TRAIN HONKS)

Tickets and railcards, please.

Thank you. Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

I'm in the wrong jacket. There's no dress code.

Just need a ticket. No, I left work in a rush.

Just need a ticket. No, I left work in a rush.

But I've got one. It's a season ticket.

You know that. I see thousands every day.

I can't remember them all. I need to charge you full price single.

No, I can't.

I have a ticket. You've seen it hundreds of times.

I have a ticket. You've seen it hundreds of times.

If a tree falls in a forest and no-one's there to hear it,

it still needs a ticket.

That's £40, please. Look, I don't have the money.

That's £40, please. Look, I don't have the money.

Please.

You know I have a season ticket.

You know he has a season ticket.

You know he has a season ticket.

Well, he doesn't today.

So you admit you know he does have one?Yeah, we all do.

We see him every morning, except for Fridays.

We see him every morning, except for Fridays.

I go in early. So leave him alone.

OK, OK. Look, maybe it's in another pocket, OK.

OK, OK. Look, maybe it's in another pocket, OK.

I'll go and do the rest of the train,

and maybe you'll find it by the time I get back. OK?

Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah.

Thank you.Thank you.

Yeah. Thank you very much.

I don't think he's coming back.

But really, you never know what someone's story is.

Maybe we'd be better people if we tried to find out.

Maybe we'd be better people if we tried to find out.

(LIGHT MUSIC PLAYS)

(CLATTERING) Oh, my gosh.

(CLATTERING) Oh, my gosh.

I'm so sorry. No, that was my fault.

Sorry, the presents. My phone.

Sorry, I didn't see you there. That's OK.

Sorry, I didn't see you there. That's OK.

Lucky you had that thing on.

Yeah, I don't actually own a bike.

Is it OK? It'll be fine.

It's been through worse.

It's been through worse.

You're way ahead of the game. Hope you haven't spoilt me.

Just getting you what I got you last year.

Just getting you what I got you last year.

(LIGHT FESTIVE MUSIC)

(MUSIC FADES)

(MUSIC FADES)

WOMAN: You could get them a box at the opera.

(BARKING) Nothing German.

And, er, Chelsea tickets for the trading boys.

Woody. Here's your ball.

(FUSSING, DOG MOANS)

(FUSSING, DOG MOANS)

Actually, hang on. Make it Crystal Palace.

Might teach them some humility. Thanks, Deb. Alright, bye.

Hey, Ads.

Hey, Ads.

I had a religious moment on the train.

Oh, yeah? Did you see Jesus in a window seat?

This guy had forgotten his ticket and the conductor was being a dick

This guy had forgotten his ticket and the conductor was being a dick

but everyone really stood up for the kid.

Stuck it to the man.

It's how I imagine the French Revolution started.

It's how I imagine the French Revolution started.

Not sure about that.

But just then everyone looked really, really, familiar.

And then I thought, why are we not all, like, friends?

And then I thought, why are we not all, like, friends?

Well, maybe not friends, but, you know, the odd hello?

Oh, no, never engage on a commute. That's page number one.

Oh, no, never engage on a commute. That's page number one.

Because you'll find out that the guy sitting opposite you

is some holocaust-denying, evangelical Christian.

is some holocaust-denying, evangelical Christian.

So young and so cynical.

I'm serious. Trust me.

Right, I have to get back into town.

Right, I have to get back into town.

What? Yeah. Bahrain's just flown in.

The whole country? Yeah, probably.

The whole country? Yeah, probably.

I'm gonna stay at my place tonight, alright?

Amanda... See you later. Bye.

(SIGHS)

(SIGHS)

(LOW ACCORDION MUSIC)

(LOW ACCORDION MUSIC)

(MUSIC CONTINUES)

(MUSIC CONTINUES)

(LIGHT, FESTIVE MUSIC)

(TOY TRAIN HORN)

I had a thought last night.

Uh oh.

Do you think we've become a bit stale?

Do you think we've become a bit stale?

Predictable?

Well, you have.

You landed on that turned up jeans and white Converse combo

back in 2010 and you've stuck with it ever since.

back in 2010 and you've stuck with it ever since.

I meant our campaigns.

Maybe we should try another angle. Look, no, no.

Maybe we should try another angle. Look, no, no.

Like... no, no.

Being asked to pitch on this is huge for us.

This shop spends millions on their Christmas ad.

This shop spends millions on their Christmas ad.

It's a national bloody treasure.

But the brief this year?

Guerrilla style, edgy, trying to catch a real moment.

And they've waited until now.

All their competitors' campaigns are already running.

Yeah, well, they say that, but really what they want is

a kid and snow and a talking unicorn under the staircase.

a kid and snow and a talking unicorn under the staircase.

I've got another idea. No, we've got an idea.

We've got all these boards.

If we go in with what we think they want, we'll never get it.

If we go in with what we think they want, we'll never get it.

Adam.

But really...

..you can never know what someone's story is.

..you can never know what someone's story is.

Maybe we'd be better people if we tried to find out.

Like I said, a stranger is just a friend you haven't met yet.

Like I said, a stranger is just a friend you haven't met yet.

It's an ethos that I think chimes with what this store has been doing

for centuries.

Thank you.

I...

..don't get it. Sorry, Miranda?

Your idea is basically to invite a group of random people...

Your idea is basically to invite a group of random people...

That already share something.

Residents in the same neighbourhood, or folks who use the same park.

Residents in the same neighbourhood, or folks who use the same park.

To invite them to a Christmas dinner and you film this-Car crash.

I was thinking 'celebration'. This event.

I was thinking 'celebration'. This event.

To prove what exactly?

That there's more that unites us than divides us.

That there's more that unites us than divides us.

Oh.

Oh, Adam.

It's forced fun and no-one likes that.

Sorry, but thanks for pitching, boys.

Sorry, but thanks for pitching, boys.

Tell the guys at Blancmange they've got it.

I want it locked and on air in a week.

Maybe save this for next year.

Maybe save this for next year.

I'm sure the guys at Frozen Foods will love it.

What the heck was that? Your idea would never have worked.

People go to parks because they're there.

Not so they can all get to know each other.

Not so they can all get to know each other.

Sorry, Paul.

We'll have to close the office and give the guys an extra couple of weeks off.

We still have the Anderson job to deliver.

Agh, the Anderson job. Why did we take that?

Agh, the Anderson job. Why did we take that?

Need to keep the heating on.

Or we should just connect you to the radiators and run them on hot air.

SIMON: All packed. Better go now so I don't miss the flight.

So, if you FaceTime me about 11,

you'll catch me before I leave the office

you'll catch me before I leave the office

and I'll catch you getting ready for bed.

Don't be that guy.

I cannot wait until we're across that pond

and I get you all to myself.

and I get you all to myself.

Love you.

(HUMS A TUNE) Happy Christmas.

Can't believe you're going.

New boss has got the whole company out there for Christmas Eve.

I can't miss it. Could have said no.

I can't miss it. Could have said no.

And you could have come to Chicago with me.

You said it was for employees only.

No, I didn't.

Laptop.

ADAM: You know our big pitch?

ADAM: You know our big pitch?

We didn't get it.

I mean, your idea stunk, so... The wind beneath my wings.

It did not stink.

It did not stink.

See, you live in this rose-tinted myopia. Like moving here.

Just because people say hello to you in the street,

Just because people say hello to you in the street,

doesn't make them any nicer. Doesn't it?

No. They're only saying hello because they haven't seen anyone all day.

Anyway, I bet you're secretly pleased that they didn't go for it.

What?

Well, you like the idea of something far more than actually doing it.

Well, you like the idea of something far more than actually doing it.

Is that what you really think of me?

It's not what I think, babe. It's who you are.

It's not what I think, babe. It's who you are.

(TRAIN BRAKES SQUEAL)

(TANNOY CHIMES)

Apologies, everyone. We are being held here.

I will let you know as soon as this problem is resolved.

I will let you know as soon as this problem is resolved.

Relax, son.

What's the hold-up? There's a signal problem up ahead.

Do we know what caused that?

Well, sir, I'd say privatisation by Maggie Thatcher, milk snatcher,

Well, sir, I'd say privatisation by Maggie Thatcher, milk snatcher,

30 years ago.

That's why you pay more than anyone else in Europe, my friend.

That's why you pay more than anyone else in Europe, my friend.

(LIGHT MUSIC SLOWLY BUILDS)

Uhh. Hi, everyone.

Uhh. Hi, everyone.

Um... can I just have your...

Hi.

Hi.

Morning. Chairman.

My name's Adam King, and I just thought as we have a minute,

My name's Adam King, and I just thought as we have a minute,

I'd take the opportunity to say something.

I've been thinking this for a while now,

and, well, seeing how everyone got all Spartacus a few weeks ago,

and, well, seeing how everyone got all Spartacus a few weeks ago,

when the young man couldn't find his ticket,

well, it just made me wanna try something.

We get this train together, most of us, every morning.

Same train, same journey, same faces.

Same train, same journey, same faces.

Maybe it's just me,

but I think it's a bit daft we don't, you know... chat.

Well, some people think it isn't possible,

but maybe it's time we got to know each other.

but maybe it's time we got to know each other.

So, I thought that being the season of goodwill and all that,

I'd like to invite everyone on this train to a party.

I'd like to invite everyone on this train to a party.

A Christmas party. Just for us.

A little get together.

A little get together.

After a year of delays, cancellations, fare increases,

and, of course, our worst nightmare...

and, of course, our worst nightmare...

Replacement bus service. You've got it, brother.

The replacement bus service. (GROANS)

Been through that hell together.

We deserve a bottle of beer and a sausage roll for that alone.

We deserve a bottle of beer and a sausage roll for that alone.

So, um...

Yeah, just, er...

Yeah, just, er...

..think about it.

(LOW MUTTERING)

(TANNOY CHIMES) A miracle at Christmas, folks.

The signal is working so, as you were.

The signal is working so, as you were.

(UPBEAT FESTIVE MUSIC)

Are you serious? They're strangers.

Are you serious? They're strangers.

I know one of them. She's the one-

No, staring at some woman's cleavage and then nodding a hello

when she catches you looking is not knowing someone.

when she catches you looking is not knowing someone.

Got some doughnuts.

And what happens when it's a disaster?

When no-one shows up?

You said it never would have worked and I think it really would have.

You said it never would have worked and I think it really would have.

Jeez, the force is strong with you, isn't it?

(YODA VOICE) Custard ones I have.

(YODA VOICE) Custard ones I have.

POLLY: Why would someone do that?

Hasn't he got any mates? I think it's lovely.

I see these people every day

I see these people every day

and I'm always trying to suss out who they are and what they're about.

Like there's this one old guy who's got a shopping bag

with a tupperware box with his sandwiches in it.

with a tupperware box with his sandwiches in it.

Once a week, he pops in a biscuit.

Always a Snowball. Never changes it up.

And I think is this, like, a treat to get him through

the hump of the week?

the hump of the week?

Or is it for a special someone at his work?

This is the stuff you think about?

# Let's Get Together This Christmas #

# Let's Get Together This Christmas #

# Oh, oh,

# Together with you

# Oh, oh, it's Christmas

# Oh, oh, it's Christmas

# Together with you

# Let's get together this Christmas

# Oh, baby, let's get together this Christmas...

# Oh, baby, let's get together this Christmas...

Party guy.

Hello. Hi.

Hello. Hi.

We are sorry to announce the 19:40 service to Langton

has been cancelled. Great!

Anything? No.

I guess everyone's trying to get an Uber this time of night.

I guess everyone's trying to get an Uber this time of night.

I've got a company account at one of those private car places.

Very fancy.

What do you do? Got a little advertising agency.

What do you do? Got a little advertising agency.

Would I know any of your stuff?

If you buy cat litter you might.

Or if your nan has a bath with a door in it.

Or if your nan has a bath with a door in it.

Someone's gotta do it.

Hey, do you have a car that can pick us up from Liverpool Street station

Hey, do you have a car that can pick us up from Liverpool Street station

and take us to Langton?

Yeah, happy to wait. Thanks.

There's a cafe across the street.

Sorry. Closed.

Sorry. Closed.

Any chance we can wait for our taxi?

Just until I've closed down, yeah?

Thanks.

So, what do you do?

I cook.Hey, I cook,

as well as writing cat litter ads. So, I win.

as well as writing cat litter ads. So, I win.

Until the new year.

Then what? Chicago.

You're doing a musical? OK, you win. The city.

You're doing a musical? OK, you win. The city.

New year. New life. I'm moving.

Really? Yeah.

Really? Yeah.

That's fantastic.

I envy you. I could never do something like that.

So you're really serious about this Christmas party?

So you're really serious about this Christmas party?

Never been more serious in my life.

Never been more serious in my life.

Which I can see reflects badly on me, but...

Do you fancy a drink?

Do you fancy a drink?

I've got a couple of bottles of IPA.

Some Senbei crackers. And some cannolis.

Sorry. Is that OK? No worries. Christmas, innit.

You eat better out of your handbag

You eat better out of your handbag

than I do when I'm throwing a dinner party.

Just little perks from suppliers. You must get plenty of freebies.

Got a few gallons of anti-freeze back at my office

Got a few gallons of anti-freeze back at my office

if the IPA doesn't hit the spot.

What do you reckon they're like?

The other folks on the train?

The other folks on the train?

I always wonder. You know the city guy?

Handmade suit and Masonic pinky ring.

Handmade suit and Masonic pinky ring.

I always saw him as this self-assured giant of industry.

And then, one day, I saw him in B&Q.

And then, one day, I saw him in B&Q.

He was looking at pipes and stuff.

And he looked completely out of his depth. Totally incompetent.

I can imagine.

I can imagine.

I'm always making up their life stories based on what they're reading.

You know the kid who forgot his ticket?

Yeah. Science fiction usually.

Yeah. Science fiction usually.

So I have him as a dreamer.

More comfortable in his own mind than the real world.

More comfortable in his own mind than the real world.

That woman with the bob's always reading.

She uses her book like a shield, says 'don't talk to me'. Loner.

She uses her book like a shield, says 'don't talk to me'. Loner.

Then there's the romantic. Jane Austen and DH Lawrence.

So, I mean, basically chick lit but too much of a snob

So, I mean, basically chick lit but too much of a snob

for Marian Keyes.

I don't know whether to be impressed or terrified.

I'm not the one throwing them a Christmas party.

I'm not the one throwing them a Christmas party.

Maybe you can help?

You seem to know what they're like.

No, I'm just guessing.

No, I'm just guessing.

But if you got to know them,

then you really would know what they're like.

(SOMBRE CHRISTMAS SONG)

(SOMBRE CHRISTMAS SONG)

# They're slugging it out at the station

# Laden with last minute bling

# The poor get ignored

# The poor get ignored

# And the stores are at war And the registers guiltily ring...

If you did need some help with, um...

If you did need some help with, um...

...planning stuff.

Thanks.

Night.

# Is your heart coming home this Christmas...

# Is your heart coming home this Christmas...

SIMON: Babes, now I'm here,

I'm thinking there is no point in me coming back for the move, is there?

It's all booked in and you'll only have a case.

It's all booked in and you'll only have a case.

Unless you really need me there then, of course,

but the flight is a slog. It's fine.

but the flight is a slog. It's fine.

It's fine. It's no big deal. Yeah, you'll manage it.

And, hey, you're gonna love this place. It's party central.

Hold on, my cab's calling me.

Hold on, my cab's calling me.

Goodbye, Simon.

# Too young to settle down

# Had many drunken Christmas lost in

# Had many drunken Christmas lost in

# Every kind of town

# But I can't deny the miracle

# But I can't deny the miracle

# That night I kissed you, dear...

When are you gonna have this Christmas party experiment?

When are you gonna have this Christmas party experiment?

Because we've got mum's party on the 20th,

then a reception on the 21st

and then the Robinson Tonker dinner on the 22nd.

and then the Robinson Tonker dinner on the 22nd.

I'll, um, I'll go with the 22nd.

So, I'll need to miss the Robinson Tonker dinner.

Whatever that is. They're important potential clients.

Whatever that is. They're important potential clients.

You can't make me go on my own.

Come on, you're brilliant at small talk.

Come on, you're brilliant at small talk.

I knew there was a reason we were together.

Baby, I know you think this party idea is stupid,

but I've put it out there now. I have to deliver.

but I've put it out there now. I have to deliver.

You're such an idiot.

Look, this little party, I think it's really sweet, babe,

but my job is important to me.

# I swear I saw it coming off the snow #

# I swear I saw it coming off the snow #

Just wanted to say thanks.

For throwing the party?

God no. Not that.

God no. Not that.

Just that time with the conductor.

Never felt as if I could speak to you...

Never felt as if I could speak to you...

..but now I have.

Well, you know.

But really... it's him you should be thanking.

But really... it's him you should be thanking.

(TRAIN BRAKES SQUEAL)

Thanks for helping me the other day.

Oh, it's alright. I know what it's like. Yeah.

I got chucked off a bus once. Did you?

I got chucked off a bus once. Did you?

Right outside Liverpool.

Yeah, I was trying to get back and kicked me off.

Cheers.

(SOFT, LIGHT MUSIC)

Morning, cowboy. Hello.

Morning, cowboy. Hello.

I think they're expecting an update.

Er...

Er...

..morning, folks.

Hello.

Just, er, to let you know

Just, er, to let you know

that the inaugural Langton Line Christmas party

will be on the evening of the 22nd,

if that suits everyone.

if that suits everyone.

(LOW MUTTERING)

Oh, er, and...

..well, maybe a show of hands might be helpful.

..well, maybe a show of hands might be helpful.

Yeah.

Oh, yes.

Oh, yes.

(LIGHT MUSIC BUILDS)

It's a start. And intimate is- is good.

And if anyone changes their mind or wants to help?

And if anyone changes their mind or wants to help?

Everything is sorted apart from the food

and the drinks, and the music, and the venue.

and the drinks, and the music, and the venue.

So, um...

Yeah, well, if you've any suggestions, you'll find me

in my office here, seat 35 aisle um...

in my office here, seat 35 aisle um...

Good. Thank you very much.

Good. Thank you very much.

(WHISPERS) That was great.

Are we not going? Are you serious?Yeah.

Look at them. Just pensioners and lunatics.

Look at them. Just pensioners and lunatics.

Yeah.

Let's just stay at home watching telly instead

with your mum and brother because we never do that.

What are you doing for Christmas?

What are you doing for Christmas?

You going to family or...? No. Not this year. No.

I'll get down the community centre. They do a good lunch there.

It's just me and mum.

We get one of those giant turkey drumsticks.Oh, the giant drumstick.

Very nice. Does us fine.

Very nice. Does us fine.

You not fancy it? The party?

You not fancy it? The party?

Fella must have a screw loose.

I went to a Christmas party once in the Savoy Hotel.

They had reindeer and snow falling in the ballroom.

They had reindeer and snow falling in the ballroom.

What a night.

I was your age, about.

There were these girls there.

Polished, fine, handsome women.

One of them, Deborah Swan, asked me to tea at her house.

One of them, Deborah Swan, asked me to tea at her house.

Did you go? I did.

We had tea, cakes, then champagne, Christmas, New Year.

She kicked me out on the 3rd of January.

We got married 6 months later.

We got married 6 months later.

It's hard to imagine an old man was once a young man, isn't it?

It's hard to imagine an old man was once a young man, isn't it?

What are you asking Santa for this year?

Last year I got this bottle of cologne

that had been on the Titanic.

I did hint fairly heavily for a toasted sandwich maker, but...

That's nice.

Amanda loves presents.

She has this thing about getting everyone something

She has this thing about getting everyone something

they would never have thought of. Your wife?Girlfriend. Yeah.

She has a list of what she'd like, so...

She has a list of what she'd like, so...

Well, at least you can't get it wrong.

That's true.

And she does do this really rather brilliant, open-mouthed

And she does do this really rather brilliant, open-mouthed

surprised face when she opens them.

Bit like the face I make when I pay for them.

You should go off list this year.

You should go off list this year.

Don't know about that. Go on.

What would you get her?

Maybe a chicken.

Frozen, or...? No.

For the garden. For eggs. Like a hen?Yeah.

For the garden. For eggs. Like a hen?Yeah.

Oh, that's, that's lovely.

Simon's always been a... vouchers man.

So there's, um... a Mr Chicago?

Which is great, you know, at least that way I get to...

BOTH: Choose. ..yeah, what I really want.

BOTH: Choose. ..yeah, what I really want.

So... that's nice.

It's a shit present.

It's a shit present.

I should get back to my seat. I'm sorry.No, it's OK. It's fine.

Um, you need to get a pair. If you get a hen.

Um, you need to get a pair. If you get a hen.

They get lonely.

Lunch?

Lunch?

Yeah, let's go.

Emma works at this place, One Bell. We could try that?

What, that woman who gets your train?

You keep banging on about her. No, I don't.

You know, to be honest, I think,

I think it feels a little bit disloyal.

I think it feels a little bit disloyal.

Jesus Christ almighty, Paul,

she's just someone I get the train with.

I'm talking about Tarek's falafel van. That's our Tuesday go-to.

I'm talking about Tarek's falafel van. That's our Tuesday go-to.

I'll be one sec.

You're all embarrassed. Hi there.

You're all embarrassed. Hi there.

Adam?

It's, er...

Yes. It's, um...

Dean. Dean.

Dean. Dean.

Paul, Dean. Hi. Hello.

So you boys on lunch, then? Yeah.

So you boys on lunch, then? Yeah.

I've had mine.

We should- When you said about helping

I thought if you need like an invite type thing,

I thought if you need like an invite type thing,

I made this, this morning.

It's a bit rough, but take it away and maybe...

It's a bit rough, but take it away and maybe...

You probably weren't thinking... Thanks.

I'll get back.

So that's the quality of your guests right there, is it?

Well, I hope he's not sitting next to Elton and David.

Well, I hope he's not sitting next to Elton and David.

(LIGHT MUSIC)

Is this for table six? Yeah.

Is that train guy?

Risotto? That's mine. Thank you.

Risotto? That's mine. Thank you.

Enjoy.

That was very, very good. That was fantastic, Emma.

And I'm a meal deal kinda guy, so I know what I'm talking about.

And I'm a meal deal kinda guy, so I know what I'm talking about.

Thank you. This place is amazing.

I assume you've bumped a few folks and booked in for the 22nd?

Sorry. Oh, here.

Sorry. Oh, here.

We, er, bumped into Dean. Dean?

The lad who forgot his ticket. Sci-fi dreamer.

Said he's done an invitation for the party.

Said he's done an invitation for the party.

OK.

Wow. It's beautiful.

Unbelievable.

"How is my day?" What is wrong with this guy?

Who would have thought. I know.

You have no idea what people are like.

Look at you.Oh God. What about me?

Well, you're always on your phone.

Then the other day you stood up and made that announcement.

Then the other day you stood up and made that announcement.

It surprised me.

You surprised me.

I'm sorry about this morning.

It's OK. You're right. It is a shit present.

I think we might need to start hustling.

Otherwise it's just gonna be me, you and Picasso.

(LIGHT MUSIC)

Anne was full of regrets, wasn't she?

Noticed you're a Jane Austen fan. Have you now?

Noticed you're a Jane Austen fan. Have you now?

Don't be like Anne.

This is about your party?

You don't have to stay long.

OK, we're in. Are we now?

Yeah, why not? Boy's a smart one.

Yeah, why not? Boy's a smart one.

Remember that Christmas when the boys were tiny?

Fay cooked the turkey the night before.What?

Everyone's using the gas at the same time on Christmas Day.

Everyone's using the gas at the same time on Christmas Day.

I don't like to risk it.

Anyway...

Anyway...

Did it on Christmas Eve, then my other half comes barrelling

home at midnight, three sheets to the wind,

helps himself to a leg of turkey!

helps himself to a leg of turkey!

No!

I had to tell the kids it was a rescue turkey.

It only had one leg. (LAUGHTER)

It only had one leg. (LAUGHTER)

(CLEARS THROAT) My, um, my partner does this thing.

(CLEARS THROAT) My, um, my partner does this thing.

Um... every year she puts an envelope on the mantelpiece

Um... every year she puts an envelope on the mantelpiece

on December 1st, and I open it on Christmas Day.

What's in it?

It's empty.

It's empty.

Years ago, we were in a supermarket on Christmas Eve.

Years ago, we were in a supermarket on Christmas Eve.

This old lady was buying a turkey dinner for one

and a mini Christmas pudding.

And when it went through the till,

she didn't have enough for the pudding.

she didn't have enough for the pudding.

Had to put it back. And she looked absolutely shattered.

So, Sally helped her with her trolley

So, Sally helped her with her trolley

and slipped a £20 note in with her shopping.

Sweet.She joked that she had it to put in my card.

Sweet.She joked that she had it to put in my card.

So, every year she's found someone, or some cause, and...

So, every year she's found someone, or some cause, and...

..and just given them something.

Meanwhile, I get the empty envelope.

Mind you, how do you know?

I mean, that she actually does it. (CHUCKLES)

Because it's Sally.

Andy? Andy? Andy?

Andy? Andy? Andy?

Adam. Adam.

I was talking to my PA about this party nonsense.

She suggested we let you use one of the venues we just acquired,

She suggested we let you use one of the venues we just acquired,

if you're looking for a place to hold it?

Really? Yeah. Come and take a look.

Wow. They've closed it again.

Thanks.

(PHONE NOTIFICATION)

Alright, son?

40 minute delay. Oh, bastards.

Fancy a drink? Yeah.Come on.

Cheers.It's alright.

It's still hot, look. Yeah. Lovely.

It's great, this.

I got this for my grandson.

Market? Yeah, yeah.

Market? Yeah, yeah.

Quality. Yeah, I was pleased with it, aye.

Eh.

(SIREN BLARES)

It's alright that. Yeah.

So, how old is he? Oh, he'll be 12 now.

Isn't it a bit young for him?

Isn't it a bit young for him?

Forget that. It's great.

Yeah.

Where are we off to then?

Where are we off to then?

Wait until we get there. What are you doing for the big day?

On my own this year, Simon's stuck out there.

But I've got figs, a goose, a bottle of Talisker malt whiskey.

But I've got figs, a goose, a bottle of Talisker malt whiskey.

I'm gonna put dinner on and watch Die Hard in my pyjamas.

Haven't told anyone I'm on my own.

Haven't told anyone I'm on my own.

Why not? I don't wanna get invited anywhere.

Wow, I'd love to meet your family.

No, they're lovely, it's just with moving,

No, they're lovely, it's just with moving,

I'm kinda looking forward to having the day to myself.

Cook what I like, do what I want, you know.

Cook what I like, do what I want, you know.

You don't wanna spend it with friends?

Most of them have moved away and we don't really see much of them, so...

You know what it's like. How about you?

You know what it's like. How about you?

Amanda's booked us a table at Claridge's.

Wow. Very swanky.

There is nothing swankier. We're a pair of swankers.

There is nothing swankier. We're a pair of swankers.

Turkey foam and Brussel sprout spritzer, is that your thing?

Apparently.

Oh, any luck finding a venue?

Oh, any luck finding a venue?

I called a few places. Well, 32, actually.

It's an absolute nightmare.

No wonder Mary and Joseph couldn't find room at the inn.

No wonder Mary and Joseph couldn't find room at the inn.

Everywhere is completely booked for Christmas parties.

I've got somewhere.

That's not funny. You know that, right?

I'm gonna see it tomorrow if you can make it.

I'm gonna see it tomorrow if you can make it.

Sure.

# It had to be you Had to be you

# It had to be you Had to be you

# It had to be you Had to be you

# I wandered around And I finally found

# Somebody who Could make me be true

# Somebody who Could make me be true

# Could make me be blue

# And even be glad Just to be sad

# And even be glad Just to be sad

# Thinking of you

# Some others I've seen Some others I've seen

# Might never be mean... They're really good.

Aren't they.

Aren't they.

I got talking to Suzy, and I thought they could be good for the party.

You're not the only one who's been hustling.

# With all your faults I love you still

# It had to be you Wonderful you

# It had to be you Wonderful you

# It had to be you Wonderful you

# It had to be you Wonderful you

# It had to be you #

Yeah, we'd love to do it.

We hadn't actually decided- Ignore him. We'll do it. And no fee.

We hadn't actually decided- Ignore him. We'll do it. And no fee.

I love a Christmas party.

Go and get us a round. Let me.

Go and get us a round. Let me.

It's OK. They comp us here. Please.

Are you sure that's OK? Yeah, he's just being a grinch.

Are you sure that's OK? Yeah, he's just being a grinch.

He is a big sweetheart really.

You were brilliant, by the way.

Oh, thanks.

Oh, thanks.

I love your ring. It's beautiful.

Uh, I actually forget I'm wearing it.

Tiffany's?

Tiffany's?

Mm. No, Michael got it in a toy shop for me on our first date.

He told me it would keep me going until he got me a proper one.

You two are such a cute couple.

Er... Thanks.

People tell us that all the time.

Aw, not surprised. Your kids will be gorgeous.

Aw, not surprised. Your kids will be gorgeous.

Yeah, we are planning on six.

Wow, really? Mmm.

Wow, really? Mmm.

No. No, we're not.

We're not actually... No, we're not with...

We're not actually... No, we're not with...

My God, I'm so sorry. No.

Yeah. We're just train buddies.

Your kids will still be gorgeous.

Yeah.

It's a bit old-fashioned, but I like being walked home.

It's a bit old-fashioned, but I like being walked home.

This you?

That's me.

East of England girl's figure skating champion

two years running. Wow!

two years running. Wow!

Nearest I got to winter sports was skidding down the railway cuttings

on a tea tray if we got a bit of slush.

I used to do that.

I used to do that.

I had this Charles and Diana royal wedding beer tray.

Really flew.

My coach found out about it. Made my dad throw it away.

My coach found out about it. Made my dad throw it away.

In case I got injured.

Hated her after that.

So you were really good? Yeah, I was.

So you were really good? Yeah, I was.

And then I used to fall in competitions on purpose

just to piss her off. What?

(CHUCKLES) Always at the last moment,

and enough to drop out of the medals.

and enough to drop out of the medals.

And then I discovered the Jaegerbombs and boys

and chucked it all in.

Wow, that's a really inspirational story.

Wow, that's a really inspirational story.

You should go round schools with that.

It wasn't fun any more.

You know, if something isn't fun what's the point?

You know, if something isn't fun what's the point?

The Christmas party is fast approaching.

Anyone else wanna put their name down?

Anyone else wanna put their name down?

There's a band and everything.

Or if anyone can help with decorations or food, anything?

Or if anyone can help with decorations or food, anything?

No pressure. It's got to be fun.

If it isn't fun... then what's the point?

If it isn't fun... then what's the point?

Listen, I might be able to help get the drinks sorted.

Really?

Just- You're hardly turning down help, are you?

Just- You're hardly turning down help, are you?

Too right we're not.

I'll catch you when we get in. Great. Thank you.

Maybe it is a bit young.

Maybe it is a bit young.

The thing is, I don't know what to get him.

I haven't seen him since he was a baby.

I haven't seen him since he was a baby.

I get him a present every year. Just in case.

I wasn't a good dad.

I was doing OK, you know, successful and that.

Then it all went wrong.

Started drinking. A lot.

Bloody- Bloody cliche I was.

Bloody- Bloody cliche I was.

Debbie left, took the boy, and...

Debbie left, took the boy, and...

..he grew up being told his dad didn't love him.

I got a Christmas card one day with a picture of a...

I got a Christmas card one day with a picture of a...

..of a baby in it.

And it was first time I knew I had a grandson.

I turned up one Christmas day, you know, loaded up with presents.

I'd had a few to... settle my nerves, you know.

Not a good idea.

I didn't make it into the house.

Patrick took one look at me and...

And you haven't seen your grandson since?

No.

No, I gave up the drink after that.

I moved down here to be close to them.

I tried talking to my daughter-in-law when Patrick was out, but...

I tried talking to my daughter-in-law when Patrick was out, but...

..seems it was worse, you know, going behind his back, so...

..seems it was worse, you know, going behind his back, so...

Yeah.

Do you think they'll take it back?

Do you think they'll take it back?

If they don't, I'll buy it off you.

My cousin will go mad for that.

I've persuaded him to come.

But he's used to a certain level of Christmas party, so...

But he's used to a certain level of Christmas party, so...

..it better be good.

This is the place.

Venue sorted, I think you'll find. Just taken it on, actually.

Thinking of using it for our corporate dues and the like.

Thinking of using it for our corporate dues and the like.

Reckon it will work?

Well, I was hoping for elegant and sophisticated,

but I don't mind slumming it. Emma?

but I don't mind slumming it. Emma?

Don't let him have it, Jonathan.

No, least we can do. Really big on charity stuff.

That what we are? I shall book it in.

Seriously, you don't wanna know how much we spent acquiring this place.

Seriously, you don't wanna know how much we spent acquiring this place.

Still, knocked a quarter of a million off our corporation tax.

Really? James, you old dog.

Really? James, you old dog.

I wanna book out our entertainment space for a little soiree.

Oh, shit. Yeah, sorry, mate.

Yeah, I meant to send you that earlier.

Yeah, I meant to send you that earlier.

What do you reckon? It's nice.

Yeah. Big.

It's very big.

It's very big.

Right, let's get the drinks sorted.

Try not to get too pissed up.

Try this.

I'm sure you don't need to know about its tone or its body

or its length. I'd only get jealous.

or its length. I'd only get jealous.

(CHUCKLES)

Very tasty.

You can have a few cases of this, on me.

Sally's favourite.

Sally's favourite.

(LIGHT FESTIVE MUSIC)

Thank you.

That was a good day. Getting there.

Yeah.

The black one looks great.

Adam.

Sorry, I was just talking to our hospitality guy last night -

I need to calm him down a bit. It's gonna be a quiet affair, right?

More of a reception than a... rave?

So far there are only 8 of us,

so I don't think anyone will be taking a 7 iron to the glassware.

so I don't think anyone will be taking a 7 iron to the glassware.

Great.

Don't worry, it's fine.

It's such a good idea.

It's such a good idea.

Actually, Jonathan, um... been thinking about it.

Actually, Jonathan, um... been thinking about it.

I think we'll pass on the venue.

Oh? Yeah, I just worry.

It's so lovely.

And Emma will end up dancing on the bar and punching the air

to Mr Brightside, and I'll be all like "Argghh, mind the veneer".

to Mr Brightside, and I'll be all like "Argghh, mind the veneer".

Maybe save it for next time.

Honestly, forget I mentioned it. It's fine.

I have somewhere else lined up.

Thanks though. Whatever you think.

Thanks though. Whatever you think.

You're in business, right? Yeah, last time I looked.

You're in business, right? Yeah, last time I looked.

Michael's got this interview for a really big finance company.

And maybe you can give him a few tips?Suzy, it's OK.

And maybe you can give him a few tips?Suzy, it's OK.

He's actually got a really brilliant proposal for it.

You wanna pitch it to me? Not really.

Go on. He might be able to help.

Well... I have this theory about plastic supermarket bags.

Everyone thinks it was environmental lobbying that got the supermarkets

Everyone thinks it was environmental lobbying that got the supermarkets

to ditch them, but I reckon it was some maverick guy on the inside.

He's ahead of the game.

He's ahead of the game.

He knows single use plastic is on the way out,

but he can make it profitable. He goes to his boss and says,

"Look, we need to stop giving away plastic bags,

so let's show our customers our big green balls

and tell them to bring their own bags.

We look responsible and we save a small fortune."

We look responsible and we save a small fortune."

But then the really clever bit... we bide our time.

Then after a few weeks, when everyone's forgetting their bags,

Then after a few weeks, when everyone's forgetting their bags,

we sell them.

We sell them something we used to give away for free.

A bag for life, madam, like you bought last week.

A bag for life, madam, like you bought last week.

Very good.

Don't they give the money to charity?

The profit, yes, but not the capital cost.

The profit, yes, but not the capital cost.

So, it's a proposal for the retail sector?

That's just a catchy example to introduce the premise.

It's about culture change within business.

It's about culture change within business.

How maximising profit and a green agenda are not mutually exclusive.

It's not the worst idea I've ever heard.

It's not the worst idea I've ever heard.

Thanks. Be after my job next.

That's the kid. Tickets and railcards, please.

That's the kid. Tickets and railcards, please.

(CHATTER)

Michael's a smart cookie. Yeah, unlike you.

Michael's a smart cookie. Yeah, unlike you.

Why did you do that? Cancel the room?

The party's in four days, Adam.

Well, when he mentioned it reduced their tax bill...

Well, when he mentioned it reduced their tax bill...

I know you were thinking it too.

It's not the right place.

Not for what we're doing.

Not for what we're doing.

Tiny protests.

Why did I do that? It's in four days.

I'll pop by your office after work. We'll sort it.

(UPBEAT FESTIVE MUSIC)

# Better that it's Christmas time

# Lights shining Lights shining

# Lights shining Lights shining

# So much joy Better that it's Christmas time #

If you get any cancellations, bell me back, will you?

Cheers, boss.

There's nowhere available.

Did you win this? I did.

Did you win this? I did.

It's from the Dry Cleaning Association Media Awards.

Wow.

Third place in the best print category.

Third place in the best print category.

Let's just call Jonathan and see if his place is still free.

Let's just call Jonathan and see if his place is still free.

It's the easiest thing. That you sorting it?

Don't take any notice of me. No, it's just...

That's what I've always gone for. The easiest thing.

And I can't help but take notice of you.

Is that a projector? Yeah.

Got loads of old movies.

We all used to sit up here at night and watch them.

We all used to sit up here at night and watch them.

Can I see?

Motor's burned out so it just sits there.

That's basically a metaphor for my whole career.

That's basically a metaphor for my whole career.

Why don't we just do it here?

The party. Don't think so.

The party. Don't think so.

They'll be expecting more than me just pushing the desks against the wall.

What's up there? Come. I'll show you.

Beautiful. Yeah.

Never really lays any more though.

You ever get the feeling like you're not really living?

You ever get the feeling like you're not really living?

You know, like your life's just about to begin.

All the time.

You know why I bought my house?

You know why I bought my house?

Our village has one of the best schools in the country.

You wanna have kids?

You wanna have kids?

Some people wanna make it on to the board.

Some people wanna have their own company. Me?

Some people wanna have their own company. Me?

I wanna have a kick-about.

Amanda feels the same?

You don't wanna talk about it? It's OK.

You don't wanna talk about it? It's OK.

It's none of my business.

No, I'd only bore you.

And you've got a whole new life to go and do.

(SOMBRE MUSIC)

(SOMBRE MUSIC)

(UNCLEAR CHATTER)

When I was about 15,

I really wanted these pair of trainers for Christmas.

I really wanted these pair of trainers for Christmas.

Mum found some at the market, but with four stripes.

Oh, that's terrible.

She might as well have bullied me herself.

She might as well have bullied me herself.

You got your mum's present yet?

I did her a drawing. Um...

I'd love to get her something really good, though.

I'd love to get her something really good, though.

She never gets anything.

But after I pay rent and my season ticket, I'm skint.

I got a great present once.

Paul McCartney gave me his jacket from the Sergeant Pepper's cover.

Paul McCartney gave me his jacket from the Sergeant Pepper's cover.

What did you get him? Pound of sirloin.

Poor fella hadn't had a steak in years.

Talking of which, why don't you come for your tea tonight?

I've got a pie that'd be grand for the both of us.

What kind of pie?

What kind of pie?

Steak and kidney.

You thinking mash? Mash and peas.

Sounds good. Great.

Sounds good. Great.

Snowball? Yeah.

(LIGHT STRING MUSIC)

(LIGHT STRING MUSIC)

So, I'll see you later for tea, then?Alright, son.

So, I'll see you later for tea, then?Alright, son.

What time do you want me round? Seven?

Yeah. Sounds good. I gotta rush off. But, I'll see you later.

Alright.

(PHONE DINGS)

You know that outside chance of a cancellation?

You know that outside chance of a cancellation?

Not happening.

Oh, it was a ridiculous idea anyway.

Such a sentimental dick.

Such a sentimental dick.

I think we should do it here.

I think we should do it here.

It's about the people. Think about it.

We could have the band over there.

We could have the band over there.

Bar in the corner. Put up some tinsel.

It will be magical.

Don't give up on it, Adam.

Ho ho ho. Amanda!

Oh, is this the planning committee?

Oh, is this the planning committee?

Amanda Franklin. Oh, sorry.

Amanda, this is-

Amanda, this is-

You must be Emma. Yes. Hi.

He told me that he had a little helper.

That's me. Great.

That's me. Great.

Babe, it's my mother's thing tonight.

You haven't forgotten, have you? Forgotten?

Who? Spaghetti brains over here. Course I have. Er...

I have a shirt here somewhere.

It's nice to meet you.

It's nice to meet you.

Yes. Merry Christmas.

You too. Hope you get a chicken.

I say I forgot. I didn't forget as such.

I just didn't remember.

I don't get many visitors,

I don't get many visitors,

so I never quite get round to sorting the place. You know.

Er...

Yeah. Right, um...

Yeah. Right, um...

Yeah, you, er...

Here, make yourself at home. I'll get the dinner on.Thanks.

Here, make yourself at home. I'll get the dinner on.Thanks.

It's clean.

It's clean.

You know, I know there's a bit of mess, but, you know, it's...

it is clean. Yeah, sure.

Wow.

Hey, I've got Hawaiian Crush or American cream soda.

In fact, you have the cream soda. You're the guest.

In fact, you have the cream soda. You're the guest.

That's you?

I've been doing a lot in crypto.

We're actually going big in the non-fungible token space.

We're actually going big in the non-fungible token space.

Is that the really dull tent at Glastonbury?

NFTs not your bag, Adam.

Come on, you're an arty type.

Come on, you're an arty type.

Well, I prefer my art fungible. Like Cezanne's apples.

I love those.

And now Hero's announced he wants to board like his brothers,

And now Hero's announced he wants to board like his brothers,

we need the money. Don't have kids.

School fees these days are ridiculous.

Really? Tim.

You don't actually need to pay.

You don't actually need to pay.

But if you can afford it, wouldn't you want the best for your kids?

Anyway, I don't want kids.

Anyway, I don't want kids.

Well, you say that, but... Oh.

Sorry, you'll have to excuse Adam.

Telling me what I think is his favourite thing to do.

Telling me what I think is his favourite thing to do.

(SOMBRE MUSIC)

(MUSIC FADES, ENDS)

(MUSIC FADES, ENDS)

Yeah, I was at the top of my game for about five years.

Mostly at Liverpool.

We won the European Cup in '78, the League the next year,

then the European Cup again in '81.

You got the medals? I don't bother with them.

Well, not any more.

Can I see them?

Yeah. Um...

Yeah. Um...

It's been years since I looked at them.

Feels like it was someone else.

Feels like it was someone else.

Yeah.

Hey, what a night that was, my boy.

We thumped Real Madrid in Paris.

We thumped Real Madrid in Paris.

Had a few after the game and I threw up in Kenny Dalglish's hat.

Great times.

These must be worth a fortune. Yeah.

We all looked sharp, you know. All of us.

We all looked sharp, you know. All of us.

Had the Savile Row suits, up town at the weekend.

I was a shoo-in for the England team.

Then I got injured and that was it.

Then I got injured and that was it.

Career over in a couple of seconds.

Really? Yeah.

This Tottenham striker was winding me up, you know.

I was always a bit impetuous, that's what some commentator used to say.

I was always a bit impetuous, that's what some commentator used to say.

I went in to take him out. It was me that ended up with a broken leg.

No. Yeah.

No. Yeah.

That was it. Plummeted like a brick.

Woke up one morning with yet another hangover and my life all gone.

Woke up one morning with yet another hangover and my life all gone.

Puff.

Yeah...

A few snaps. A few baubles.

A few snaps. A few baubles.

That's it.

(FAINT FOOTBALL CHANTING)

(FAINT FOOTBALL CHANTING)

Hey.

Thanks for coming over, Dean.

That's alright. Quality pie.

That's alright. Quality pie.

Hey... have you got some threads sorted for the party?

Hey... have you got some threads sorted for the party?

Er, not really.

Just my work shirt. You can borrow something. Hold on.

Ray, it's fine.

Ray, it's fine.

Wait until you see this.

You know what this is, don't you?

Amanda, er... Yeah?

Oh, boy...

Listen, I've been thinking.

Since I moved out of town, it feels like we hardly see each other.

Yeah, we're busy. Like... like people are busy.

Yeah, we're busy. Like... like people are busy.

Don't make the time, though, do we?

It's easy, and...

..maybe that's fine. Maybe that suits us.

..maybe that's fine. Maybe that suits us.

We're not... making demands on each other all the time.

Yeah.

I always thought that was a good thing.

What if it isn't?

What if it isn't?

I can't do this any more.

OK.

Is there someone else?

There's always someone else.

Maybe I'm someone else, now.

Maybe I'm someone else, now.

Oh well, I'm still the same girl

that you proposed to on the night you met me.

I was tying my lace. (LAUGHS)

You are the same girl.

You are the same girl.

Yeah. Come here.

I couldn't believe it when they asked me to come back

I couldn't believe it when they asked me to come back

just for some dinner thing. Still, I made them fly me first class.

And you get to see me. And I get to see you.

And you get to see me. And I get to see you.

And we can spend Christmas together? Yeah.

Couldn't get me a flight until Boxing Day so I'm missing the damn Christmas Eve party.

Couldn't get me a flight until Boxing Day so I'm missing the damn Christmas Eve party.

Still, you are going to love this dinner.

They spend an absolute fortune. When is it?

They spend an absolute fortune. When is it?

22nd, I think. I've got something.

What? No, they've flown me in for this, Emma.

We need to be there. That's the night of the train party.

We need to be there. That's the night of the train party.

Well, you're never gonna see those people again so, what's the point?

I know, but it's...

Hey, hey. Look, it's gonna be fun. Alright? I promise you.

(SOMBRE MUSIC)

(SOMBRE MUSIC)

(DOG WHIMPERING)

Here we go.

It's got all the details on there. Ah, thanks.

It's got all the details on there. Ah, thanks.

You know them anyway. There you go. One for you.

All the details on the card, work of our very own Dean here.

All the details on the card, work of our very own Dean here.

You did this?Yeah.

Alright, don't sound so surprised. Thanks.

Alright, don't sound so surprised. Thanks.

And I've managed to secure an exclusive warehouse venue

just by the station.

That's lovely, Dean!

That's lovely, Dean!

Thanks. How are you?

You OK?

I'm very well, thank you.

You're a very talented young man.

Hi. Two, please.

Are you happy to take a seat at the bar?

Are you happy to take a seat at the bar?

Yeah. These two?

And I think Zola will take your order in a second, OK?

You're really not getting any better at this cooking lark.

You're really not getting any better at this cooking lark.

Simon's here. Oh.

Yeah, flew in last night.

Great.

Great.

Yeah.

So you can... spend Christmas together?

Yeah.

Emma, what do you think of both of these?

What are they?

What are they?

We just need a contemporary graphic for a foot cream campaign we're doing, so...

Feet and cream. Hi, Emma.

Feet and cream. Hi, Emma.

I've got your...Hi, Dean.

It worked out great- Thank you, Dean.

You alright. Hey guys.

You alright. Hey guys.

What's this?

It's a campaign we're doing.

Oh, A-Gel. I thought it said angel.

Oh, A-Gel. I thought it said angel.

I like angels.

You can draw right, Dean? I do a bit.

You can draw right, Dean? I do a bit.

He's done one invitation and you're making out like he's Matisse.

He's done one invitation and you're making out like he's Matisse.

He's probably just a kid with an Art GCSE.

He might not be after 3 years at art school and a decade in the business.

Exactly!Yeah, but his talent will be the same.

Exactly!Yeah, but his talent will be the same.

His craft might be better. His skills might be honed.

But talent is talent. Who knows how good he could be.

But talent is talent. Who knows how good he could be.

Your little 'buy the world a Coke' campaign's really gone to your head,

hasn't it?

Andreas? Are you seeing him now?

No. I'm batting away his advances, actually.Why?

No. I'm batting away his advances, actually.Why?

Come on, Paul, take a chance. Alright.

I'll take a chance on your Dean,

but enough with the life coaching, alright?Deal.

but enough with the life coaching, alright?Deal.

Are you sure we don't need more stuff?It's got to look magical.

Are you sure we don't need more stuff?It's got to look magical.

And I've convinced a few of them to help out tomorrow night to get it done.

It's all coming together.

It's all coming together.

Yeah, maybe it is.

I got you a present.

Come.

1978 MX60 drive motor.

1978 MX60 drive motor.

(BRIGHT MUSIC)

And Dean had this made.

What is it? Have a look.

Wow. Wow indeed.

How did he...? No idea.

He mumbled something about an animation app

and a mate in a lab and...

and a mate in a lab and...

We have to stick the ends together to make it loop.

Thank you.

It's...

Wow.

I can't come.

Simon has a dinner.

Simon has a dinner.

Probably for the best.

It's funny how you think you know what you're doing in life.

This party...

I thought I wanted to get everyone on the train to be friends.

I thought I wanted to get everyone on the train to be friends.

Thought it'd be a good thing to do.

Maybe I just wanted to hang out with you.

Maybe I just wanted to hang out with you.

(PROJECTOR DIES)

I can't do this. I'm moving to Chicago.

All my stuff is in boxes.

I think you're like me, Emma.

I think you're like me, Emma.

I think you're lost.

I really do.

I really do.

I'm not lost. But thank you for judging me.

You know, you really need to sort your own shit out first, Adam.

You know, you really need to sort your own shit out first, Adam.

Enjoy your party.

(SOMBRE MUSIC)

Right.

(OMINOUS TONES)

(OMINOUS TONES)

Bastard!

Where's Emma? Dunno.

Where's Dean? Dunno.

Where's Dean? Dunno.

Michael, how did your interview go? Oh, yeah.

I didn't get it. Gutted to be honest.

That's a shame.

Maybe your idea needed a bit more work.

The idea was sound, it wasn't that.

The idea was sound, it wasn't that.

It's tough out there. My CEO's about your age.

He's firing people left, right and centre.

He's firing people left, right and centre.

Got everyone writing proposals to see who's worth keeping.

You done one?

Avoided the cull. Thankfully.

You two alright?

Like proper bah humbug the pair of you.

Like proper bah humbug the pair of you.

Come on man, you've got a big gig tomorrow.

You should have a spring in your step.Yeah.

I know there's a danger that there will be more band members than guests, so...

I know there's a danger that there will be more band members than guests, so...

(LAUGHTER)

..you might wanna do a quick shout out.

Actually, this is the last shout out.

Actually, this is the last shout out.

You'll all be, er...

..delighted to hear that the inaugural Langton Line Christmas party is cancelled.

..delighted to hear that the inaugural Langton Line Christmas party is cancelled.

What?Why?

Tonight's decoration volunteers stand down

Tonight's decoration volunteers stand down

and don't drop off the booze. It ain't happening.

We've dodged a bullet. (VARIOUS PROTESTS)

And in the New Year we can all go back to... well,

And in the New Year we can all go back to... well,

ignoring each other and

generally being satisfied with our lives instead of scratching around...

generally being satisfied with our lives instead of scratching around...

..dreaming dreams we never get round to,

starting things we'll never finish and...

..looking for happiness in places where we don't belong

..looking for happiness in places where we don't belong

and aren't welcome.

Hear hear.

Yeah. I'm sorry to have wasted your time.

Yeah. I'm sorry to have wasted your time.

We've done so many rehearsals.

You've been rehearsing?

You've been rehearsing?

We've been rehearsing the whole time.

All the numbers. Is that it?

Come on, Adam.

After all you've done, you're just gonna-Michael, it's OK.

After all you've done, you're just gonna-Michael, it's OK.

You heard him.

Michael, I've been meaning to ask, did you give your mum that recipe?

Oh, yes. Yeah, she says thanks.

Oh, yes. Yeah, she says thanks.

Jonathan, Fay's boys can do your electrics next week.

Is Tuesday OK? Perfect, thanks, Fay.

Wait a minute, I think I might have something on Tuesday.

Wait a minute, I think I might have something on Tuesday.

Have you forgotten about that sync app I told you about?

No, I didn't. And I have it right here. Thank you.

No, I didn't. And I have it right here. Thank you.

Linda, I've got the money for the wine.

Oh no, don't be daft, I told you they're just bin ends.

Oh no, don't be daft, I told you they're just bin ends.

Nobody needs to pay for them.

Tuesday's great. You know, this actually works, Mikey.

Of course it does, bro.

Of course it does, bro.

See? You did this.

OK, we're not at each other's house every night, but...

OK, we're not at each other's house every night, but...

we have something.

A recipe isn't much, and a little help ain't everything,

A recipe isn't much, and a little help ain't everything,

but it's, it's something.

Thanks.

Well, I hate to say it, but the kid's done a good job.

Well, I hate to say it, but the kid's done a good job.

What do you think? It's great work.

Both of you.

A phone call? Am I buying a hat?

Hello?

I hear you've cancelled.

Yeah. Just...

Yeah. Just...

Your projection was amazing. Thank you.

Emma's idea.

Just ran out of time.

Sorry. Me, too.

Sorry. Me, too.

One, two, three, four, five, six, seven.

Are you sure about this, Adam?

Are you sure about this, Adam?

You weren't gonna come anyway, were you?

I lost Sally... in April.

And it's really hard.

We loved Christmas.

So I'm just gonna let it pass me by, like a float in a parade.

So I'm just gonna let it pass me by, like a float in a parade.

I wouldn't have been much company anyway.

Well, it's very Christmassy in here.

All the cards and the music.

So I'm not buying that... "pass me by, parade float" rubbish.

So I'm not buying that... "pass me by, parade float" rubbish.

What are you, Barbra Streisand?

But it must be really tough.

She looks at you... the way I used to look at Sally.

I know it might not be...

I know it might not be...

..but it could be everything.

And if it is, you've gotta go for it.

And if it is, you've gotta go for it.

You really do.

You are allowed to be happy, you know.

You are allowed to be happy, you know.

How did you know... about Sally?

How did you know... about Sally?

Sat on her bench. Read the little plaque.

She loved skiving. Her and me both.

She loved skiving. Her and me both.

Can you take the card machine over to table eight as well, please?

Hiya, is Emma about? You've missed her.

Hiya, is Emma about? You've missed her.

Do you know when she's back in?

When she comes home and begs me for her job back.

Sorry, I really should get on.

Course. Um... yeah, sorry. Merry Christmas.

Course. Um... yeah, sorry. Merry Christmas.

I don't think he's coming in today.

(PHONE RINGING)

You alright, Michael? Hey, Adam.

Um... we've got a big gig tonight, and I left my guitar in your office.

Do you mind if I swing by at 7 to get it?

Do you mind if I swing by at 7 to get it?

Yeah, sounds good. I will see you there.

Thanks, Adam. See you.

The train at platform one is the 17:45 service to

The train at platform one is the 17:45 service to

London Liverpool Street.

ALL: Surprise!

ALL: Surprise!

Just because you weren't coming, doesn't mean we weren't.

Thank you. Thank you.

Thank you. Thank you.

What are you doing here?

I just thought I'd show Miranda what she could have won.

I just thought I'd show Miranda what she could have won.

I'm sorry if I was a moaning Minnie before,

but when I saw what this lot did...

I can't believe you did all this.

I can't believe you did all this.

Neither can I. Hi.

# Joy to the world, the Saviour reigns

# Joy to the world, the Saviour reigns

# Let men their songs employ

# While fields and floods

# Rocks, hills and plains

# Rocks, hills and plains

# Repeat the sounding joy Repeat the sounding joy

# Repeat, repeat, the sounding joy...

# Repeat, repeat, the sounding joy...

Right, you lot.

Anyone wanting to have a go on Santa's knee get a move on.

Anyone wanting to have a go on Santa's knee get a move on.

I'm supposed to be doing the 22:30 to Ipswich.

(CHEERING)

(FESTIVE MUSIC)

# Deck the halls with boughs of holly

# 'Tis the season to be jolly...

You alright?

You little bastard.

You little bastard.

You bastard! (GRUNTING)

Did you think I'd not notice? Did you? Eh?

Did you think I'd not notice? Did you? Eh?

After I gave you my hospitality.

That pie would have done me for two nights, you little...!

Cool your jets down, Ray. You little thieving-

What's going on?You better ask this thieving little hooligan.

He stole my medals.

He stole my medals.

He stole them. He asked to see them.

He bloody cased the joint, and then he took them.

He bloody cased the joint, and then he took them.

OK. Come on. Ray, come on.

Let's get you up. Let's get you up. Get off!

Come on, let's sit you down. He took them.

Come on, let's sit you down. He took them.

What's going on, Ray?

Well, I...

Well, I...

I used to play a bit. Football.

I was someone.

I was someone.

Not this old man, this... lonely old git.

But someone.

But someone.

Like you, Adam. Like Michael there.

And all I had left from all of it all of that, is a couple of medals.

And all I had left from all of it all of that, is a couple of medals.

And he took them. He stole them.

Dean?

I borrowed them, Ray.

Yeah, borrowed them. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I thought they deserved looking after.

I thought you deserved looking after.

I did it for your grandson.

Think he'd prefer it to a fire engine. No offence.

Think he'd prefer it to a fire engine. No offence.

No, none taken.

Could come with you.

Drop it off Christmas Day.

Usually at a loose end after The Wizard of Oz.

Ray... you're Ray Smythe?

You're the man. That unbelievable Liverpool team with King Kenny?

You're the man. That unbelievable Liverpool team with King Kenny?

Ray Kennedy? Phil Neal?The one footed bloody donkey.

(LIGHT MUSIC GROWS)

(LIGHT MUSIC GROWS)

Simon. Yeah?

Can I ask you something? Sure.

Do you actually want to be with me?

Do you actually want to be with me?

Jesus, Emma, what is it that you want?

Not this.

(SOMBRE MUSIC)

(SOMBRE MUSIC)

(CHEERING)

I just wanted to thank you all for coming.

I just wanted to thank you all for coming.

(CHEERING)

That's for Emma, really.

She couldn't be here tonight but, um, all this... it was her.

And you, all of you.

So, um... thank you...

So, um... thank you...

..for keeping the faith when I jumped ship.

And, um...

..a quick mention for Linda.

..a quick mention for Linda.

Before I had my mid-life crisis yesterday, we, er...

..we all did an envelope.

..we all did an envelope.

So, Red Cross. Samaritans.

Put a bit towards my nephew's bike. Is that allowed?

Put a bit towards my nephew's bike. Is that allowed?

(LAUGHTER, APPLAUSE)

Anyway, thank you all very much.

I'll leave it to the pros.

Nice one, Linda.

Now, this is a proper Christmas party.

Now, this is a proper Christmas party.

Had a punch up... (LAUGHTER)

..got our own celebrity guest, and I've got a tenner on

..got our own celebrity guest, and I've got a tenner on

one of Little Mix there being the first arse on the photocopier.

Thanks Adam, I've met good people.

But I'll be damned if Adam's gonna be the only fruit loop here.

But I'll be damned if Adam's gonna be the only fruit loop here.

Suzy, baby.

Suzy, baby.

I sometimes think about what would have happened

if you hadn't smiled at me in the street that day.

if you hadn't smiled at me in the street that day.

And... I get scared.

I love you so much.

I love you so much.

And... this thing has been burning a hole in my pocket for weeks.

Suzy, my love... will you marry me?

Suzy, my love... will you marry me?

Yes. (CHEERING)

Yes. (CHEERING)

I think my fiancee deserves a number, right, guys?

Yes! Yes! Yes! No, no.

Yes! Yes! Yes! No, no.

I really don't. I'm the backing singer.

OK, fine! Fine! Fine! Gosh.

OK, fine! Fine! Fine! Gosh.

Um... I remember we broke up once, didn't we?

Not long after we met, we broke up for, what was it, two days.

Not long after we met, we broke up for, what was it, two days.

It was a weekend, babes. So, two days.Yeah.

And I really, really felt awful.

But... I'm really, really glad

But... I'm really, really glad

that I will never feel like that ever again.

This will be the last time you ever hear me sing this song.

This will be the last time you ever hear me sing this song.

I love you. I love you so much.

# What'll I do

# When you are far away

# When you are far away

# And I'm so blue

# And I'm so blue

# What'll I do?

# What'll I do

# What'll I do

# When I am wondering who

# Is kissing you

# What'll I do?

# What'll I do with just

# What'll I do with just

# A photograph

# To tell my troubles to?...

# To tell my troubles to?...

Could have made an effort.

# When I'm alone...

# When I'm alone...

If you'd told me you were coming, I would have.

# What'll I do?

# What'll I do?

# What'll I do? #

(CHEERING, APPLAUSE)

# Christmas hasn't felt like Christmas for a little while

# Christmas hasn't felt like Christmas for a little while

# But if you sit real still and listen

# But if you sit real still and listen

# You'll be sure to smile

# Cos not too far I'll be in the distance...

I think I might wait until the weather's a bit better

I think I might wait until the weather's a bit better

before I move to Chicago.

Spring's supposed to be nice.

Less windy.

Plus I like it here.

Plus I like it here.

I got you a present. Yeah?

Close your eyes. OK.

Close your eyes. OK.

(SOFT PIANO MUSIC)

OK.

Talisker. That's your tipple, right?

Talisker. That's your tipple, right?

How did you know?

Well, you told me.

Thank you. That's...

That's really sweet.

(CHILDREN CHATTERING, LIGHT MUSIC)

(CHILDREN CHATTERING, LIGHT MUSIC)

Hi there. Sorry, I'm Dean. Hi, Dean.This is Ray.

He just wanted to drop this off for the boy.

Thank you. Sorry for interrupting.

Thank you. Sorry for interrupting.

Have a really good day. Merry Christmas.

I reckon she'll like it, you know. Yeah.

He'll probably get it in a minute, you know.

He'll probably get it in a minute, you know.

Do you ever wonder who they really are?

Do you ever wonder who they really are?

The people down your street?

Those half-familiar faces in your local coffee shop.

Or whoever sits opposite you on the train every day.

Or whoever sits opposite you on the train every day.

Ray!

Aren't you just a little bit curious?

Might be an amazing artist. An undiscovered talent.

Might be an amazing artist. An undiscovered talent.

Or a true legend whose star simply hasn't been blessed.

Or a true legend whose star simply hasn't been blessed.

Hello, mate. Hello.

Hello, Stanley. Hello, Grandad.

Hello. Thank you so much.

Hello. Thank you so much.

Maybe someone who's been having a real tough time of it recently

and could do with a friend.

Or maybe...

Or maybe...

..if you're lucky,

someone you were always meant to find.

(LIGHT MUSIC CONTINUES)

(FESTIVE BELLS JINGLE, LIGHT FESTIVE MUSIC)

(FESTIVE BELLS JINGLE, LIGHT FESTIVE MUSIC)

Go on.

Say hello.

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