Original subtitles

Being ordained a priest is for life...

♪

...with all its joys and with all its struggles.

You're trying to become a better person,

you're trying to be formed in a way.

♪

That's kind of where the room for grace comes in,

because you have nothing left

and then there's room for God.

♪

You strive for greatness, you strive for perfection.

It takes discipline, it takes perseverance,

it takes teamwork.

♪

It means being broken, it means giving up things.

But in every choice in life, when you choose something

you give up something else.

How can someone give their life to such a thing?

You have hope as a seminarian that God

is using your life for good and for something greater.

♪

I'll have realizations of like,

"What am I doing here?"

(laughing)

♪

(horn honking)

♪

(bell dinging)

♪

(indistinct)

Gimme five.

Margarita.

(speaking Italian)

♪

Oh, mi amore.

(clicking)

Okay, coffee?

Coffee, coffee, coffee.

Hmm.

Very good.

♪

Beyond the Vatican walls, there is a soccer championship

like no other in the world.

(speaking Italian)

Clericus Cup is a world cup for priests studying in Rome.

You have to be either a seminarian or a deacon

or a priest or a bishop.

We get to play soccer in the shadow of St. Peter's.

Two different, opposing, roaring crowds.

♪

So you have this international group of people,

different colleges playing one another.

Sometimes the colleges are based out of a nation,

sometimes the colleges are based out of

like a religious community.

Somebody once compared it to the Quidditch World Cup

if you're a Harry Potter fan.

It's a beautiful thing that we're able to be a part of

'cause it really brings our various communities together.

We go to school together,

you know, we'll pray together at times,

and you really get to know the other players

on a different level.

We're all from different countries.

Portugal and Senegal.

And it's a way of keeping, you know--

playing, it helps mental sanity.

(laughing)

What brings us together is faith and our love of the game.

♪

This is the Clericus Cup.

Only one team will win.

Who?

Only God can knows it.

♪

(indistinct announcements)

(speaking foreign language)

♪

(screaming)

♪

The whole story behind Clericus Cup was due to a situation

in the Italian football league.

In one of those matches,

it was down south in Catania,

there was a policeman and he was killed.

It was just like a shocking moment to everyone.

Fans clubs here are pretty strong

and some of them are extreme.

The church had a word to say.

(speaking Italian)

It's possible to play

a different type of soccer, you know?

Not a violent soccer but a soccer

where everybody's involved,

not as enemies but as an adversary

where at the end of the match, you know,

we all mix together, we hug together,

we pray together, we embrace and nothing has happened.

As seminarians, as priests, we have the same mission

which is to spread the word of Christ in humanity.

♪

♪

The moment you're ordained a priest, that's it.

It's been this process of accepting that future.

We're about to have another rebirth,

you know, a renaissance.

Recognizing that when you give yourself in love,

there's a death that happens.

To sacrifice for the greater good.

Giving your life to something and trying to do good with it.

The fact somebody jumps into something and says, you know,

"I'm giving everything," it can be a shock.

You know, "Will I be happy and joyful?"

may be a hurdle that you have to get over.

It's a really big responsibility.

Yeah, we have to prepare ourselves for that.

We have to prepare ourselves,

yeah, to deal with that.

♪

♪ Hosanna in the highest ♪

A reading from the Holy Gospel according to Luke.

Glory to You, Oh Lord.

And people will come from the East and the West

and from the North and the South,

and will recline at the table in the Kingdom of God.

For behold, some are last who will be first

and some are first who will be last.

The Gospel of the Lord.

Praise to You, Lord Jesus Christ.

I hope you have a wonderful day today and a good week,

and always know my prayers for you.

-The Lord be with you. -And with your spirit.

May Almighty God bless you,

the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit.

-Amen. -Go forth in peace,

our mass has ended.

♪

My name is Grayson Heenan.

I'm 28 years old.

In less than a year, I'll be ordained a priest

to come back here and serve

in the Archdiocese of Detroit.

♪

Ever since I was a young kid, maybe eight or nine years old,

I had a special sense that God was calling me to be a priest.

Why do we celebrate Easter?

'Cause Jesus rose from the dead.

-That's right. -And it's his birthday.

-Yeah. -No.

-That's Christmas. -Oh.

There were doubts about, could I be happy as a priest?

Could I be joyful?

It was really in my junior and senior year of college

that I started having that conversation directly

with God in prayer,

asking God what He wanted out of my future.

Initially, my parents and my family

did not take well to the decision.

Over the years, my family has come to really support me.

A huge thing for them in their life

is them seeing me playing soccer

and just really enjoying myself.

For them, it's been a real comfort

and at least the start of a sign that,

"Okay, Grayson can really be happy in this life,

in his future."

The North American College in Rome,

actually when I arrived there,

they had a really established program already

playing in the Clericus Cup,

historically, a really successful team.

Difficult aspect of that is the last three years,

they've gotten knocked out in either group play or finals.

So we're hoping to kind of march our way on back to the top.

♪

My name is Deacon Mike Zimmerman.

I'm a seminarian studying to become a priest

for the Archdiocese of Boston.

I live at the North American College

so I play for the Martyrs.

And this year, I'm playing as a stopper.

I was brought up Catholic.

My mom's of Irish-Polish descent

going back a few generations.

Originally, I was studying chemistry.

I was going to become a high school teacher, was my plan,

and any kind of big change like that

I guess people are surprised, especially when

it's something as radical as becoming a priest.

Explaining to people that I was going to become a priest,

that was probably a bigger surprise for people.

Not so much that I was becoming a priest,

but that anybody would become a priest.

♪

(indistinct chatter)

(speaking native language)

(laughing)

♪

(laughing)

♪

(indistinct conversations)

♪

My name is Duarte.

Well, it's a long name.

It's Duarte Nestor Rodrigues de Paiva Rosado

'cause we have a lot of names and I'm from Portugal.

♪

Soccer is the main sport in Portugal.

It's the only big sport in Portugal, I guess.

This is the fourth year that I played in the Clericus Cup.

I'm 31.

I joined the Society of Jesus to become a priest.

Gathered a group of friends and we made a band,

'cause we started to do some concerts,

and then YouTube appeared and that video has a lot of views.

I mean, I'm not famous.

So when I joined the society, that was it.

My family was Catholic, I went to Catholic schools.

I wasn't that serious about it.

♪

Maybe faith and church

could have a bigger part in my life.

I honestly asked God,

"What do You want me to do?"

And the answer was this.

♪

I didn't see a light, I didn't hear a voice.

Thinking about being a priest?

No thanks.

I wanted to get married and have kids

and have a normal life.

♪

Finding what you will do for the rest of your life,

it's not easy.

You're not a boy anymore.

You become an adult.

That's what it is.

♪

(indistinct conversations)

For Grayson to stay at my house,

I had to actually set him up with Jesus

'cause we had a chapel in the house

and it had a pull-out couch that would turn into a bed.

So Grayson slept with Jesus that night,

so I think he came out better for it

and holier for it.

We'll see.

I heard that Grayson played soccer

and I heard that he's very good.

I hope sleeping with Jesus makes him a better soccer player.

(laughing)

I want to thank you all very sincerely for coming.

Your presence is a wonderful witness

that honors God

and His call to Grayson

for a lifetime of service.

And I'm sure I can count on you all

in the future for many prayers

that Grayson will be able to fulfill that mission.

(distant crashing)

(laughing)

(applause)

This week is my last week in the States

before going back to Rome

to finish my last year of seminary

and hopefully have another go at the Clericus Cup.

♪

(opera singing)

♪

(horn honking)

♪

(applause)

♪

(bell ringing)

♪

Welcome to the Clericus Cup.

Welcome in Rome.

Let the games begin.

♪

One, two, three, Martyrs!

(cheering)

♪

(indistinct cheering)

♪

(indistinct shouting)

♪

♪

(cheering)

North American College beats the Spanish College, 3-0.

(chanting)

(cheering)

♪

Gregorian University win, 5-3.

(cheering)

♪

Urban College beats French College, 8-0.

(indistinct shouting)

♪

Mater Ecclesiae beats Mexican College, 3-1.

♪

(cheering)

♪

(indistinct chatter)

(speaking Italian)

♪

(clapping)

♪

I have under my care

the formation of 111 seminarians.

I have the responsibility of making sure

that these brothers become good holy priests.

And I'm responsible for that final word

in front of the Church and in front of God.

Welcome to the Pontifical International College

Maria Mater Ecclesiae.

I'm Father Oscar Turrion from Spain

and I'm director here.

The word in Latin "seminar" means "seed."

Vocation to the priesthood is like a seed.

God puts a seed on you and the seminary is the place

where that seed, that semina, grows.

You want to be a priest inasmuch as you are following

the call of Christ.

If there's no call,

there's no following.

If there's no seed,

there's no plant growing.

Christ is the role model for all priests.

The more you speak, you think,

you love, you act like Christ,

the better priest you are.

The most powerful thing a priest can do

is to put God's grace on every man, every woman

on the face of this Earth.

♪

A priest without roots is a dangerous thing.

That's why I live in poverty,

that's why I live in chastity and obedience.

And I feel great knowing, understanding,

and believing that there's something after this life

which I call eternity, which I call God,

and that God I serve,

and I want to make it to Him.

Hey, let's say grace and we'll start,

because the focaccia's going to get cold.

Bless us, Oh Lord, and these Thy gifts

which are the bounty we are going to receive.

Lord, bless our families, wherever they are,

that they may receive Your blessing

and so that You may lead us on the road to salvation,

on the road to happiness, on the road to Heaven.

Through Christ our Lord, Amen.

Enjoy your meal, everyone.

Thank you, Father.

♪

I think the hardest thing nowadays for being a priest

is dealing with the world

and all the good pressures that the world gives you.

Bruschetta, good.

♪

Being a priest is not just a job, it's a vocation.

It's something that comes from your heart

and you don't know if it's you speaking or God speaking.

So you are always living with some type of uncertainty.

-Calamari? -Calamari.

-Calamari. -For you.

Yeah.

It's difficult because you're always thinking,

"What if, what if?

What if something happens to me?

I get old and maybe nobody can take care of me."

I would love to be with my family.

I would love to be with a family.

I would love to have money.

I would love to have, you know,

like the security of knowing that if something happens,

I have a house which is mine.

I have a car which is mine.

I have a nice bank account.

And being a priest is forgetting about that

and putting all your trust in God.

We're not talking about an angel.

We are not talking about a saint.

We are talking about a man

who can very easily get involved with a woman,

a man who can very easily lose his mind

onto other things which are not that important.

God doesn't want us to be sad priests.

God doesn't want us to be a failure priest.

He wants happy priests.

If you're not going to be a happy priest,

then be a happy man.

-Cheers. -Cheers, cheers.

-Cheers for you and the family. -Yes.

(indistinct chatter)

♪

(bell tolling)

(alarm beeping)

The day in a life of a seminarian starts early.

♪

Mass and morning prayer at 6:15,

followed by breakfast,

and then we go on with our day.

Classes start at 8:30.

They take a lot of classes with a lot of reading,

a lot of time in lecture.

Philosophy, theology.

Hebrew, Greek,

the eschatology of the Book of Wisdom.

Studying in Rome is a lot like going to an American college.

To become a deacon and to become a priest,

there's a minimum theology degree that you'd have to get.

Yeah, it's about three to four years.

And you have really no grades throughout the whole semester

until a final oral examination

which lasts 10 to 15 minutes.

(bell ringing)

Yeah, if a priest is late for class,

yeah, there's a little bit of an embarrassing moment

right there in the beginning,

but usually the professors are pretty merciful.

Usually in class all morning.

Then you come back and you have a community meal at 1:15.

Then in the afternoon, they might spend time studying,

they might spend time exercising.

Of course they love sports.

They play soccer, obviously.

Evening, again, we come back together

for another prayer, evening prayer.

And then after that, we have dinner

and then usually guys are in bed

hopefully by about 10 o'clock.

♪

(bell ringing)

I think it's a midnight curfew.

After four years, you don't know yet?

No, I never, I never pushed--

-The curfew on week nights-- -I never flirt with that line.

Of course, Grayson.

We have cards, we can, you know, get ourselves in,

but those cards reveal your identity.

So they can look up if you have come in late.

First year here, you definitely feel like you're a freshman.

It's a mix of college slash summer camp slash Harry Potter.

-Slash military. -Slash military.

Boot camp.

One of the biggest misconceptions about priests

is maybe not recognizing that they're human beings.

Then we're surprised when, you know, maybe they're not as holy

as we hoped they'd be.

I'm very much the same person,

and I would say in a way I've become more of myself.

You know, I've discovered who I am

and who God is inviting me to be.

Those kinds of moments of, "How did I get here?"

or, "How am I going to be in charge

of such an important thing?" is like,

they're actually letting me get ordained.

You know, that's kind of the thought of like,

"They're letting me get ordained, that's crazy."

Yes, you know, my time in seminary is ending in a way,

but it's kind of like-- that's still with me,

it's not over in a sense.

Like, this preparing for the priesthood

and being formed as a priest actually really

is just beginning after I become a priest.

So all this preparation, it kind of--it gets taken up

and continued in an even greater way in the future.

I don't know if being ordained a priest

is necessarily the end of my youth.

I'll still be 28.

Under 30, so I think a lot of people

will consider me pretty young, yeah.

Um, and--you know, I think with God,

things are perpetually new, they're always new.

I guess I'm more of the mindset that youth is an attitude

and so being able to encounter things with excitement

and joy throughout my life is something I hope to do.

♪

What I would say to those seminarians

who are still in the process of becoming priests,

it's not to be afraid.

♪

Because I can do it,

because I must do it.

That's why I'm a priest.

♪

You understand happiness as something

that goes beyond fame, glory, or money.

♪

You go beyond.

You don't stay on this earth.

♪

I believe in God because I look for happiness.

♪

Happiness is not only for this world.

It's forever.

♪

Lord, are the people who will enter Your Kingdom,

are they few or are they many?

♪

It's an anxiety in the back of my head

when I share with people what I'm getting into.

What are people gonna think?

The only press they've heard about the Catholic Church

is negative and here I am doing this.

I knew in a certain sense I would almost lose

my freedom a little bit.

The stakes are big in what am I gonna do for my life.

You learn what it means to sacrifice for the greater good.

There's an aspect of striving to our faith.

It's been this process of coming

to peacefully accepting that future.

♪

Joyfully accepting it.

♪

So how'd it go last week?

-It went well. -Good?

Um, you should have everything memorized but if you don't,

at least have the pages marked for yourself to help you out.

Grayson will be the priest.

So you're kind of immobile,

you're a 73-year-old dying man.

So you don't have to be in a fetal position,

but you can kind of be curled up a little bit.

-Hey, Father, welcome. -Father Grayson, how are you?

Good to have you with us.

Called you 'cause Trevor's not doing so well.

-Okay. -And I don't know.

Trevor, Father's here, so, he's gonna pray with you, okay?

♪

Trevor, you don't have to say anything

but this is Father Grayson.

Uh, the nurses here at the hospital

were kind enough to call me, so--

I should go through the whole the rites?

Whatever you want.

In the name of God, the Almighty Father who created you,

in the name of Jesus Christ, the son of the living God,

who suffered for you in the name of the Holy Spirit.

Very good, Trevor.

Anointing is over and done with.

Be assured in my prayers, and, uh,

put yourself in God's loving hands, okay?

God bless you.

All right.

Good.

It's very hard to kind of fake it.

I think in a real situation, you'd be even warmer.

Like, I think some of the patting was sort of like weird,

but that's only 'cause it's not a real situation.

I don't think you'd actually be patting the person.

You had a priestly manner about you

and I think if I was the patient,

I would feel comforted by the whole anointing, so.

Choice of rite, he could've gone through the full rites.

-But what about-- -But in your condition--

What about the (indistinct) as well?

-Like maybe-- -Yeah.

Yeah.

I'm not against your choice of the kind of abbreviated rite.

Yeah, but I think that is the expectation,

and again, I think it's written somewhere.

Somewhere in the rite it says--

I feel like St. Paul quoting scripture.

Somewhere in the rite it says...

All right, scenario number two...

(laughing)

♪

(indistinct remarks)

This, you see? I do this.

(indistinct remarks)

Nice to meet you, ciao.

(laughing)

We practice twice a week.

We usually practice Monday, Thursday,

warm up and stretch.

Learning how each other plays,

we're getting there.

So you guys are getting more and more used to each other

that the kind of soccer's improving

and I think we should be proud of that.

Let's play each game as it comes

and let's be as hungry as we can.

Each game, we're playing to win.

We're playing to beat the Greg.

That's what we're playing to do.

If things go our way and we beat the Greg,

we could very possibly continue on.

(indistinct chatter)

We have a good team, solid team.

We don't have too many injured players,

but if we have everyone

we have a good chance of winning.

♪

It was the beginning of March

when I noticed my knee was pretty sore.

Kind of just like stiffened up,

and going up and down stairs,

sitting up and down was kind of painful.

I finally bit the bullet and saw the doctor.

♪

The injury has been a little more serious

than I ever thought.

So, it's kind of sad, yeah.

Um, yeah, so that was my last game and I,

I didn't really know it.

♪

Captain Grayson currently injured.

It's a lynchpin taken out.

I mean, he brings a lot of stability

to our defensive line,

but he's contributing at least from the sideline.

He's helping me with, you know, substitutions and strategy.

I take his counsel very seriously, but you know,

it was a sad moment for the team

to lose such an important player.

♪

Ordination is like a big step in life, you know,

and I can imagine possibly there's some anticipation

and anxiety going on of like-- of that coming up so soon

and maybe that's, you know, taking an extra toll physically.

Who knows, but...

♪

I wish I could be out there, really.

Round two of the Clericus Cup quarter finals.

♪

(indistinct talking)

♪

Mater Ecclesiae!

(crowd cheering)

♪

(crowd cheering)

Urban College beats

Ukraine College, 6-0.

♪

(yelling in foreign language)

♪

Mater Ecclesiae beats Pio Latin American, 2-1.

♪

(singing in foreign language)

♪

(horn blowing)

♪

(indistinct yelling)

♪

(whistle blowing)

Gregoriana University beats

North American College, 2-0.

♪

And North American College is out!

♪

(cheering)

If we had kind of

pulled things together and won the cup,

Yeah, it would have been a kind of poetic finish.

♪

Fairy tales aside,

it wasn't possible this year.

♪

With our season ending,

with my life moving on to the next stage,

I probably wouldn't be playing soccer anymore.

Yeah, that's hard.

♪

The sport comes to mean so much to you

'cause of everything that happens around it as well.

I didn't really have one moment where it all came flooding to me

that that was it, goodbye,

goodbye, soccer.

♪

Yeah, it was a surprise.

♪

In becoming a priest, you do give up things.

Poverty, chastity, and obedience,

it's a promise made to the church,

made to the bishop, and directly to God.

Really dedicated their life in a certain way

that if they were to break those vows,

it'd be an offense to God directly.

♪

There are three vows.

The root is your relationship with Christ.

In a way, that gives me joy, that gives me peace.

There are some days which is

easy to be grateful about what you have.

Some other days, that's a bit harder.

It's God's gift, you know,

just take it, be grateful for that.

I mean, it's what you have.

This is what exists, you know,

don't fancy about what you could have had,

or what you could have done.

It's just not real, you know.

We kind of romanticize family life,

but that's tough too.

The sacrifice of marriage and family life,

you could say, may be a hurdle that you have to get over.

It's a lonely life, I guess, at the end.

♪

I'd say God's definitely given me a gift in recognizing

that a relationship with Him in an exclusive way

is what's meant for me.

In this process called discernment,

discerning what is God calling me to do,

it was very confusing.

It's a pretty angsty,

you know, it gets pretty intense at times like,

"What am I supposed to do with my life?"

All my fears, all my desires, all my concerns,

they're met in this colony.

♪

I did have a girlfriend.

We dated between sophomore year of high school

to sophomore year of college,

so it was a little over four years.

So, she was pretty upset when I told her

I was thinking of becoming a priest.

And it was something I ran away from

when I saw how upset she was,

but it just kept coming back,

and I was like, "All right, I gotta take this seriously.

If I'm gonna be true with myself,

I'm gonna be true with her."

This desire for a relationship is so strong.

I've realized that only God can fulfill that desire

that I have within me,

that He was someone I could go to with all these

things that are inside.

Even when I think about wandering from that path,

there is no peace, there is--

it disappears in a way.

I felt God calling me to give myself to Him

in a way that I wouldn't be able to give myself to a wife

in a way she would deserve.

♪

My former girlfriend is not married.

Last I heard, she was dating somebody else.

She said she wasn't able to come to my ordination.

I didn't pry into reasons why,

but she's not able to be there for one reason or another.

It's faith, hope, and love that's the theological virtues

that all come from God,

and it's what make all this

even possible or conceivable, anyway.

♪

(lock turning)

♪

(singing in foreign language)

♪

It's not normal that a young man now becomes a priest.

It's not a normal thing.

Culturally, it's almost the opposite, you know.

Devoting your life

on something for your entire life,

and this way of life,

living in chastity, and poverty, and obedience,

wow, that's kind of a big gap between--

But, on the other hand, we can be here in the world,

we don't have to escape, I mean,

we don't have to run away from the world.

But at the end, I feel free, you know,

because you just want to correspond

to something bigger than,

correspond to this huge love that loves you, that's it.

♪

I mean, I think about

I'd be happy if I would get married,

if I would marry, you know.

I'd be happy to, really happy.

I would love getting married!

Because, I mean, it's,

it's even more natural than being a priest,

but, I don't know.

In some way, I could just leave it all behind

and get married, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, I could.

Why don't--?

Because this is my,

this is my place, I don't know.

♪

I mean, this, this kind of an empty space that we have in us

that will never-- nothing,

nothing in this world can fill up that space,

in the space that says

marry, have kids.

That's an empty space,

and forever, and we just have to

know how to deal with that

'cause not even the community

fills up that space, of course.

Not even God, you know.

In some sense, not even God fills up that space.

We know just how to live with that.

♪

I mean, "What the hell am I doing here?

Why, God?

Why did you put me in this situation?

I mean, I would be a great father.

I'd be a great husband, why?"

♪

Yeah, I guess it happens, I mean--

♪

(singing in foreign language)

♪

(clapping)

♪

(scooter whirring)

♪

Round three, semi-finals!

Only four teams left in the championship:

Mater Ecclesiae, Redemptoris Mater,

Urban College, and Gregoriana.

Unforgettable!

So normally when our college plays

against Mater Ecclesiae, there is always tension!

It's one match, and that's it.

Either you continue, or you are gone.

♪

(indistinct chanting)

♪

(indistinct yelling)

♪

(cheering)

Urban College beats Mater Ecclesiae, 3-1.

(cheering)

♪

Let's go.

Gregoriana plays against Redemptoris Mater.

(indistinct yelling)

♪

(indistinct yelling)

(whistle blowing)

♪

The blue card, somehow it's less than a yellow,

but not quite a yellow,

or maybe in-between a yellow and a red.

I actually thought it was maybe a joke,

but it apparently exists.

It's a bit of, yeah, I guess, legendary status.

(laughing)

♪

(crowd cheering)

♪

(crowd cheering)

♪

(whistle blowing)

♪

And Gregoriana wins

5-3 after penalty.

♪

Oh, wonderful!

The semi-finals is over.

Ciao-ciao, bye-bye,

see you in the final.

♪

My word, special magic word,

it's eternity.

♪

What's this world offering me

that cannot be offered in eternity?

So all my problems, all my limitations,

the temptations, my failures, my doubts,

my fears, they all come to nothing

when you think about eternity.

And so, that keeps you very calm knowing that

you're not by yourself, you're not alone.

You are with the big guy, who is our Lord, Jesus Christ.

♪

The Legionaries of Christ have been rocked

by another scandal,

as the rector of their Rome seminary has stepped down

after admitting he fathered two children.

The order issued a statement Friday

that Father Oscar Turrion would leave the priesthood.

Turrion himself asked for forgiveness,

"for my bad example

and the negative witness I have given."

This comes ten years after revelations

that the order's founder, Father Marcial Maciel,

had fathered several children with different women.

♪

Well, finally, I did the decision,

and I think I did the right thing.

In less than 15 days, I was out of everything I was doing.

That was very unfair, you know,

because I don't care people saying about me.

I don't feel I betrayed anyone.

I haven't betrayed God, nor man,

less I betray myself.

♪

It was like a tombstone that I had in my heart.

♪

I was seeing things that were darkening the horizon,

creating a lot of noise within my heart.

Maybe circumstances have changed,

but the aim of my life cannot change.

I used to go and have lunch,

and I would go into the kitchen to thank the cooks,

and that's it.

But now, it's me they want

who have to take care of all those things.

A 50-year-old with no work.

I didn't have a bank account.

I never knew what to have a bank account was like.

You know, starting a new life.

♪

My main objective, and my main purpose in life

is to get to Heaven.

♪

Once I got to know that I had children,

I knew what I had to do.

I knew that I wasn't going to hide away.

I knew that I wasn't going to lie about it.

I knew that it wasn't right, you know.

But God is always there to confess my sins,

and I'm so, so happy with God

because He's always trustworthy, and He's always faithful.

I pray a lot, and I pray

with more peace and tranquility

than I had prayed before.

Before, I prayed because I had to.

Now, I pray because I need to,

and I pray because I want to.

♪

(birds chirping)

The church has some problems, of course,

some really, really serious problems.

♪

Religion has a strong power over people, you know.

People give their lives for this.

(cheering)

♪

So, it's very delicate, you know,

to have kind of a power

over people's lives.

Power, it's a powerful thing.

Yeah, it's kinda hard to hear the news

and hear that there are

pedophile priests.

That's not being powerful, you know.

We're here to serve, that's it.

♪

The bad priests can destroy lives.

A good priest can give life to people, you know.

More than 1,000 children sexually abused by hundreds

of Catholic priests over the span of decades.

Committed by grown men,

priests, against children.

We were taught, I mean,

the priests and the nuns are God.

These are faith leaders.

You go to a church for guidance,

solace, and leadership.

We are dealing with an international

criminal enterprise,

and it's continuing.

-Systematic cover-ups. -They covered it up.

They covered it up year after year.

The cover up's the same.

And the Vatican knew about it.

When you embezzle from the church

as a priest, you go to jail.

When you rape a child as a priest,

you get transferred to a whole new flock of kids.

Why does a church

allow it happen?

Because they didn't care.

♪

You know, I can't speak to all the many reasons why people

might have a grudge against the church in some ways,

like why there's any

pain or suffering they may have experienced

'cause those are real, those are true,

and I think part of it mi-- some of it--for a lot of people,

it might come from an anger with God.

Something in their relationship with God

that might prevent them

from seeing the church for what it is,

I think, in its beauty and its goodness.

But there's definitely people who are angry with the church

because of things that have happened.

I can't speak to the pain that people had there,

or try to rationalize

or justify the things that were done.

It's not that the church has to change.

It's us, us that we have to

convert ourselves and be better.

♪

♪

(singing in foreign language)

♪

It's certainly understandable

when you might encounter people with a certain

negative expectation for things in the church,

given the kind of press that people hear so often.

So, I certainly don't blame them for that.

Some people certainly understand

what the bigger picture is of what we're getting into.

♪

It's a lot like a canvas,

where there's all these different colors,

and items, and images, and symbols

that are being put up on this canvas.

It's not an easy canvas to explain.

♪

When everything in the canvas is sort of working together,

you have a real experience

of what it means to be a Catholic.

It's a great challenge to me

to write that script anew, in a certain sense,

surprise people.

Yeah, there's a, there's a great radicality

that goes along with

truly living as a good priest.

This is what our Christian life should be about.

It's the integral development of the human person.

We want people to flourish,

and having a heart that's open to the world,

open to the hurting part of the world as well.

♪

Yeah, fundamentally, it's about encountering

that face in the canvas,

that face that comes out at you alive.

And as you're growing up,

this canvas is sort of taking shape, in a certain sense.

You go through your life,

that canvas gets a little more complicated.

And what appears on this canvas is a profile,

and Christ is at the center of it.

It's the face in the middle of the canvas that keeps me going.

And what does that call say to me every day?

"Grayson, I love you,

I support you,

I'm behind you,

I've called you,

I'm preparing you,

and people are hurting and they want,

they want you to bring Me to them."

♪

That's at the heart of it, really.

(laughing)

(indistinct speaking)

I never thought I would play soccer,

real soccer, on the big field.

Never thought about it.

When I would be an old priest,

"You know that I played

this tournament in Rome.

We're all priests playing."

That's a story to tell,

not my grandsons 'cause I won't have them,

but my, I don't know, the small, young Jesuits.

And they will say, "Oh, Father Duarte,

he played soccer."

♪

♪ You wake up in a dead town ♪

♪

♪ You're sleepin' with the windows locked ♪

♪

♪ Misguided by your own trail ♪

♪

♪ You're lost ♪

♪

♪ You're focused on the features ♪

♪

♪ You followed every movement, stroke ♪

♪ You started around the center ♪

♪

♪ You choke ♪

♪

♪ And it goes on easily ♪

♪ And it falters repeatedly ♪

♪ But it don't bother me, you see ♪

♪ No, it don't bother me at all ♪

♪

♪ And it goes on easily ♪

♪ And it falters repeatedly ♪

♪ But it don't bother me, you see ♪

♪ No, it don't bother me at all ♪

♪

(scooter idling)

Clericus Cup is over!

Ciao-ciao!

♪

Some people say, "Oh, everything's going to change."

I guess my relation,

relationship with people will change because

they will see me as a priest.

Besides that, life doesn't change that much, you know.

Yeah.

♪

This is a parish

in which I feel at home, really at home.

I can be myself, I don't have to,

I don't have a role there.

I'm just me, and that's it.

I'm still processing a lot of things that I've been

going through.

On one end, it seems nothing changed, I'm still the same.

On the other hand, when you become a priest,

you have a kind of relationship

that people don't have with nobody else in this world,

and that's kind of a beautiful thing.

♪

It's okay, for me, just if people call me Duarte,

I prefer it.

Yeah, then we get a bit older,

and then people start to call me, certainly,

Father Duarte.

Yeah, to be

a channel for--

(speaking foreign language)

♪

♪ Facilitate this fall of August ♪

So, I've been able to do a number of masses,

at least one every day since I've been ordained,

which is now seven, eight weeks ago.

♪

There definitely is a lot of reward in being a priest.

There's certain sacrifices you make,

but I can't really keep track of whether

I'm giving more or receiving more

just 'cause it is very enriching, very fulfilling.

Yeah, they really know and care about you.

Sometimes it can be a little overwhelming.

It's like some love, you're just like, "All right.

I need a little space."

People pay attention to everything you do as a priest.

What you eat, what you drink, what you wear,

how you drive.

♪ As the wren churr through the pine ♪

♪

♪

Ciao, okay.

Ciao.

(laughing)

Come here.

♪

This is Juanma.

Are you shy?

-Hola. -Hola.

(speaking Spanish)

♪

(laughing)

♪

Here we are at Ste. Anne Church of Detroit.

♪

I started July 1st.

I'm gonna be here 'till mid-September.

A good chunk of the people here are Latino,

so I've been doing some masses in Spanish,

little bit of Italian has been coming out of me now and then.

A bit of a learning curve when you get started.

I very much feel the same,

but people look at me differently.

That's been powerful.

♪

Even though I don't know where I will end up,

I don't know where I'm going, I don't know what I'll do,

I know that's for life.

We don't have to be superhumans to be priests.

We have to be human.

♪

The beauty of the Christian message is that

death isn't the final word, but that love and life is.

♪

These last two months have been

a big time for learning and rolling with punches,

but it's also been the most rewarding.

I mean, this is the rest of my life.

I'm sure I can do it and get through it,

and there's gonna be a lot of adventure to it too, so.

♪

I believe in one holy Catholic and apostolic church,

I confess one baptism for the forgiveness of sins,

and I look forward to the resurrection of the dead

and the life of the world to come,

amen.

♪

♪ Formulate and fortify ♪

♪ The spring becomes our alibi ♪

♪ The eider's plume will disavow ♪

♪ All the time we've wasted now ♪

♪ And I know you've got your subtle ways ♪

♪ The hooded crow is here to stay ♪

♪ But this idle June will disavow ♪

♪

(singing in foreign language)

♪