Original subtitles

[music playing]

[water splashing]

[moaning]

Good morning, my dear.

How are you feeling? Huh?

Eh?

Come on, step aside.

Let me help.

[water splashing]

[laughter]

[music playing]

Oh, welcome!

Come in, friend!

Listen, I hope you have some food

already because I'm hungry.

Of course we've food.

What'll it be then, huh?

Give me a drink first and then five small dishes.

Mmhmm.

I also want a bowl of soup and one roast leg of lamb.

And hurry it up, you hear me?

Is that all?

Mm.

Make it a cold beer.

No problem.

But it'll take some time to get the food ready.

OK, but make it quick!

No need to shout.

Today's customers have got big mouths and big appetites!

What's that?

I... I was only commenting on the beautiful

weather we've been having.

Now hold it.

Yeah?

Do you want something else then?

No, I just want the food well done.

That's all.

Don't worry.

I'm an expert cook.

There's no one 'round here like me for miles around.

MAN: Anyone here?

Oh!

Please come in.

[yelling]

What's going on here?

You're the kitchen chef with the temple, right?

You've become too bold.

Mm.

Please, sir, I never meant to harm anyone.

It's a lie.

Enough!

[woman screaming]

[groaning]

[chuckling]

Darling!

Oh.

Blood.

Oh! My dear.

No! (SCREAMS)

KO LIN: Honey! - Swine.

KO LIN: Honey!

Speak to me!

Honey!

Nancy!

Nancy!

(WEEPING)

Thought you could get away with killing my brother.

Well, I finally got my revenge.

Ha!

Just fight.

Murderer!

Those guys will get theirs in the end.

[birds squawking]

[groaning]

They killed the poor man's wife.

OLD MAN: Listen, it's not your fault. Against those five,

I'm sure it wouldn't have been possible.

[crowd sounds and music]

Here it comes, everyone.

Here we come. There's the good stuff now.

Make yourself at home, everybody.

MAN: Yay, here comes food!

Ah, here's your food.

Here we go.

This is for you.

And so is this.

You're so busy.

You should hire some help.

Me hire somebody? Are you kidding?

I'm not rich.

I can't do that. No way.

Ah. Eat up.

Enjoy. Enjoy.

Ah, hello, hello.

Ah.

Oh.

Oh.

[groaning]

Nancy!

Nancy.

Nancy!

Nancy!

Nancy!

Nancy!

(GROANS) Nancy!

May God help us to establish a Woman's Kingdom.

[sizzling]

Oh, good grief, now I'm going to burn this one, too.

FORTUNE TELLER: Fortune telling!

Faces read, palms read.

Oh, you want your fortune...

Get out, will you?

Go read someone else's face today!

I don't have time for you.

Oh, well, suit yourself, but don't get so uptight with me.

Ay?

FORTUNE TELLER: Fortune told!

There and there and there!

You bring me bad luck, you old fool. (MUMBLING) Hm.

Goodness gracious.

He's a jerk.

[sizzling]

KO LIN: Fat Man Wang?

Huh?

Oh, why it's you, Ko Lin.

What happened to you?

Did someone beat you?

Was it a rob or something?

And you...

I heard rumors in the city that you are now...

They're all true.

There was nothing I could do.

A bunch of marauding men came into the restaurant,

they wrecked the place all up, destroyed it all!

Get your utensils sharpened.

Come sharpen your scissors.

Come on.

Get your utensils sharpened.

Please, Ko Lin.

You must help me get my restaurant back

from those evil men.

Will you help me, please?

These are the maps of the key properties.

We'll divide them up amongst us.

[laughter]

Shake the vase.

Yes.

I've got the funeral parlor.

It seems I've got the restaurant.

Ha!

Me the tollbooth!

Good!

Oh, the Mayflower guesthouse!

Temple's good.

[laughter]

If we find any more, we'll divide them up.

[laughter]

KO LIN: No, you won't!

[all] Huh?

It's you again.

It's me.

And I've come for you.

For what?

You heard right.

Your days are numbered.

There'll be no more of all this.

(YELLS)

OLD MAN: Scissors sharpened.

Get your tools sharpened.

Get your tools sharpened.

(GASPING)

[hissing]

[coughing]

MAN: I can't see anything!

Come on, come on.

Here we go.

Water.

Please, some water.

(GROANS)

Huh?

Where'd my cart go?

Old man, what brings you here?

Any man who enters the women's kingdom

shall not leave here alive.

Huh?

[cymbals crashing]

[loud laser sounds]

[gong]

[groaning]

Take that!

[yelling]

[water gurgling]

Where are you going?

I'm terribly sorry.

Get out of here!

[chuckling]

Maisa, from the Woman's Kingdom,

found out where the relics of Cuncom are.

I'm sorry, master!

You must not the relics be moved

from their traditional resting place.

Maisa, you must give up on your dreams.

You will not be a priest even though you have the relics.

Save your breath. The Woman's Kingdom will exist!

[fighting sounds]

We'll see about that.

[laughter]

He gave you a rough time, huh?

Well, what next then?

Don't mind that.

I'll handle it.

[laughter]

Maisa has been prowling around here lately.

She may have information about us.

(CHUCKLING) Don't worry.

She's only a woman.

[both laughing]

Your bath is ready, sir.

[chopping]

Get back to work, you!

How come it's my job to wash those dirty damn dishes then?

Because I say so!

I see.

[chopping]

(MUMBLING)... kick... Around to the left...

Huh?

[laughter]

You should forget martial arts.

You belong here in the kitchen.

Cheeky!

If the priest catches you, he'll kill you.

I'd rather be caught than do this.

Watch it.

Watch what?

[door opens]

Welcome, master.

The people in the village say villains have showed up.

Therefore, you must be careful.

RED NOSE MAN: Yes.

[door closes]

Can I come out now?

Get up.

Get back to work.

[water gurgling]

[humming]

RED NOSE MAN: Catch!

Take out that garbage.

Yes, boss.

[humming]

[shouting]

Who did that?

Show yourself!

Show yourself!

Oh!

PRIEST: Who did that?

You!

Catch!

What's going on here?

Oh.

I'm sorry, master.

PRIEST: Sorry is not enough.

RED NOSE MAN: (STAMMERING) Oh, well, uh...

PRIEST: You imbecile.

[snickering]

You...

Oh!

That hurt me!

[crickets]

[snoring]

Hey.

Where are you going this late at night, huh?

I have some business to do.

Oh.

[snoring]

Toll money.

Clear out!

What are you, a robber?

Or a beggar?

- How dare you? - Listen here.

Come on.

You're planning to maybe beat me up?

You think you can do it?

I'll break your nose!

(LAUGHING) Well, you will try to do it.

But... [inaudible] Come on, then.

Fight me.

(LAUGHING)

No, no.

[laughter]

I'll teach you some respect!

No!

Help!

Help me!

(LAUGHING)

Too good for me.

Bye!

If I catch you again, you dirty old fool, I'll get you!

Hmm.

You dare trespass on my land?

Who are you?

I'm a kitchen chef, that's what.

A kitchen chef.

Like hell.

Ow!

Damn it.

Oh, my foot.

[laughter]

Those were the guys that killed my wife.

Where do you think you've been?

Wandering around all night?

Please, I beg of you, don't do it.

Don't send me away.

Please, don't send me away.

I beg of you!

You must listen to us and do your work.

Don't worry.

We won't harm you.

Thank you. You'll see.

I'll be obedient.

I won't cause any more problems.

(WEEPING)

Stop it!

All is forgiven now.

But don't let it happen one more time or else you

will be disciplined.

What are you doing?

Is business going well with everyone?

Of course.

The restaurant's full of customers.

The money at the tollbooth is flowing in.

It's only the funeral parlor that's not busy.

Mmhmm.

We'll soon take care of that. (LAUGHING)

Shall I sent some of my customers?

No need for that.

I have a feeling it'll get busy very soon.

Ko Lin.

Come on let's eat now.

Yeah, sure.

Come on.

(CHUCKLING) Sit down!

[yelling]

Ko Lin, the enemy is always near.

You must always be alert.

You can't do anything right now can you, my friend?

You'll always be an imbecile.

You must mind your manners, you know.

Get out of here, you bum!

No money, no food.

Rash.

Bums.

You look hungry.

I'll get you some food right away.

Boy!

Bring some food.

Coming!

Here we are.

Your wine.

Um.

Here.

Enjoy yourself.

But I didn't order this much food.

What?

It's today's special menu.

What's wrong with it?

Well, I don't know if I can eat all of this.

What's wrong?

You have the appetite of a bird?

[laughter]

[door creaking]

[laughter]

What are you doing here alone?

Nothing much.

[sniffing]

Do you smell something very strange?

Like, like what?

[sniff] I don't smell anything.

[sniffing]

Tomorrow, go to the market to buy some food.

Sure! Of course.

Tomorrow morning. Sure.

Of course.

(LAUGHS)

Let's go.

Oh man, this is inhuman.

Just get going!

Oh, ow!

For God's sake, stop crying!

(MUFFLED) I'll try.

Ya!

Ya!

Ya!

Ya!

Ya!

Keep going.

How much longer?

Stop!

Oh, my aching feet!

Oh, oh my feet!

Get going!

Ya!

Stop!

Go!

Ya, ya!

Ya, go on!

Keep moving.

Faster.

Come on.

Keep it moving.

Come on.

Move.

Speak up.

I have nothing to say to you.

Take me to your leader.

Haha!

Good day my friend, Maisa.

I have a favor to ask of you.

It has to do with old relics located at your temple.

It this true?

Yes.

Master, the sun is much too hot for you.

For this reason, I'll give you this hat to wear.

There.

You'll, you'll be much cooler now.

He's learning very slowly.

Ah.

Here we go.

Stupid!

Why don't you watch where you're going?

Then you wouldn't get hurt so much!

Ya!

Ya!

Sorry, what happened again?

(GROANS)

[clearing throat]

PRIEST: Who's in there?

Is the dinner ready yet?

[door creaking]

What?

No cook here?

Oh.

I'll have to start it myself.

Uh, let me do this.

Uh, no wood in the fire.

[door closing]

[exhaling]

Huh?

Well, are you coming or not?

Yes.

[laughter]

Why don't we sit down and chat?

Why not?

Of course.

I'm very hungry.

And you?

Also.

[both groaning]

What's the matter?

Nothing.

Nothing at all.

Though it seems as though I have one prick too many.

[sizzling]

[cart rumbling]

Whoa.

Whoa.

[whipping]

Uh, welcome.

Ah, let's see.

Let's have something to eat here.

(LOUD EATING) That's good.

[whinnying]

Shut up.

You'll get yours later.

[whinnying]

Weird.

You know what's funny?

He looks just like my friend Ko Lin.

How much do I owe you now, then?

Oh, that'll be $1 I believe.

Yes.

$1?

There you are.

Thank you.

Hey, aren't you going to feed your horse?

Huh?

Damn him.

[paper rustling]

[inaudible].

What's the matter?

You filthy thief!

So you want to be a martial arts expert.

That'll teach you to steal my papers.

Forgive me.

I, I only wanted revenge on those murderers.

Liar!

You don't understand me!

Listen to me.

Forget the past.

May God be kind enough to obtain the relics.

RED NOSE MAN: Ko Lin!

So you steal my books now, too?

Master!

I made a big mistake.

You no-good-for-nothing.

What do you have to say for yourself?

I seek my revenge.

And you must steal from me?

You're mistaken.

My eyes do not lie!

Master, are you all right?

Let this be a lesson to you that you shall not soon forget.

Yes.

Yes, master.

[leaves crunching]

Who's there?

Hm.

The excommunicated priestess.

Right.

How dare you search for the relics of the sacred temple.

It's not your business.

Damn.

I lost my best chance.

You were that close?

Yes, I was.

But they're within my reach.

Where is everybody?

They've all gone to pray in the temple.

I'll go join them.

KO LIN: Excuse me.

Please excuse my intrusion.

I've come for the body of the priest who was killed here.

What priest?

You know.

How dare you!

KO LIN: Stop!

You women think you're really smart.

You're crazy.

For the last time, where is the body?

I don't know.

I've had enough.

Now tell me.

Will you tell me?

Speak up!

Tell me where it is!

Tell me!

These are for you. Thank you.

Take them, please.

Take them.

That's good.

I have to say thank you to you, too.

Huh?

If you want a business here, shut up.

Uh, no way. Can't do that.

Nope.

You can't do that?

KO LIN: [clears throat]

Ah, here you are.

Oh, good.

What do you want here?

Listen here.

Shut your mouth.

Now you get out of here. Go on!

Scram!

What a guy you are. Great timing.

[snoring]

What a strange sleeper.

(LAUGHING) Weird.

Boy, am I ever hungry.

I could to eat of horse, I think.

[door bangs]

Ha.

So it's you.

(LAUGHING)

Yeah, it's me all right.

Big deal.

What now?

You and your boss think you're real tough.

We'll see what happens.

You?

All by yourself?

You filthy rat.

Why don't you come out of your hole?

I'm happy here.

No way.

Well, I'll come in then.

You bit my bloody finger!

Come here.

Come on.

All right.

Right.

Oh, dear me.

Take that.

Decided on a bath, huh?

(LAUGHING) Have fun.

See you later.

Look what I got.

I went to retrieve the dead priest's body.

Did the women, uh, try to stop you?

Yes.

You did very well.

Thank you.

(THINKING) I will make him strong.

What in hell did you do that for?

Joking.

RED NOSE MAN: Be careful.

[chuckling]

[yelling]

Come back here.

[chopping]

He's coming!

He's coming!

He's seen me!

Who's coming?

What are you talking about?

He's coming here!

Hide!

Who's that?

Come out here at once and explain.

What are you doing here?

Who is this man?

He's a man who has suffered much.

You have brought a stranger here.

Please leave at once.

Ko Lin.

There'll be no more fun times in the kitchen.

I know.

Here.

It's all your fault. Here.

Take this.

Why?

Why give me this?

We part here, that's why.

Our time together is now over.

We go our separate ways.

Farewell.

Yes.

Good luck.

Live long.

I'll see you again, great master.

Is the kitchen chef still alive?

I've afraid he still is.

But not for long.

TOLL MAN: Hold it.

What do you want?

Who do you think you're fooling?

He's a dead man.

To pass, you both pay.

Here you are.

(LAUGHING) Go on.

FAT MAN WANG: [inaudible] man.

Hey, you.

What?

What is it?

Do you have to body?

I sure do.

Where is it?

Up there.

Well go and get it.

FAT MAN WANG: I'll just...

MAN: I don't have all day.

FAT MAN WANG: All right.

I'll just put it in here.

I don't have much money.

I hope I have enough.

[coins jingling]

Is this OK?

Hey, fine.

That's enough for a first class burial.

I'll get started now.

I really hope so.

He was my great kung fu master, you know.

UNDERTAKER: I'll give him a good burial.

First class.

FAT MAN WANG: Good.

Makes me happy.

UNDERTAKER: You'll love it.

Here we go.

Let's clean him off.

His neck, and his chest, and his tummy.

I'll get all that dirt off.

Nice body.

(LAUGHING) Good guy.

Woo!

Wash everything. (LAUGHING) Oh, nice.

Get the feetsies.

Get his foots and his toes.

Bottom dirty.

What did he step in?

Oh my gosh.

Wash 'em down.

Rinse, rinse, rinse, rinse.

We got 'em.

Hm.

Oh, the other one's dirty, too.

I clean 'em all the time.

They look so clean and nice.

Oh.

Oh, nice.

And toesies.

Get 'em all.

Little pinkies and big toesy.

(MOANS) Ah, my shoulder.

Oh.

It's getting stiff.

He'll need some food for his long journey.

Scrub it in.

(LAUGHING)

I don't believe it.

I saw with my own eyes.

But how, how could it be?

This is strange.

Very strange.

What is this?

Just tap on his head.

He seems to be dead.

(LAUGHING) Just in case, I'll give him a pill

and see if it revives him, OK?

VILLAIN: [inaudible]!

Oh, are you busy? Yes.

He just came in this morning.

Oh, that's good.

Nice.

UNDERTAKER: I was just feeding him for his journey

to the other world. Huh?

That's the kitchen chef!

Who brought him in here?

I should've killed him myself!

He's alive!

Wait!

Wait 'til I get my hands on you!

Come back!

Come back, you dirty, lousy kitchen chef!

Where is he?

He's gotta be here somewhere.

Where is that guy?

UNDERTAKER: Hey, hey.

I've looked all over.

I can't find him anywhere.

I'm sure I saw him come this way.

UNDERTAKER: I thought for sure he was dead.

How could you be so stupid?

What did you do that for?

Do what?

Don't give me any more of your lip.

Not another word.

UNDERTAKER: Ow!

So that's where you've been hiding.

No, no!

Oh!

You little shit!

Revenge.

How goes everything, lonely one?

Things are getting better.

Hands off!

Ow.

What do you think you're doing?

We are no longer friends.

OK, then.

Look what's showing.

What?

RED NOSE MAN: You fool.

(LAUGHING)

Jinbo is dead.

There must be some other villains in the area.

What are we going to do about this?

Shut up.

Shouting won't help anything.

Let's go on to the village then, OK?

[loud eating]

Excuse me, sir.

Is that enough, then?

(MUFFLED) Uh, this seems to be plenty.

KO LIN: Oh, what a beautiful day!

Ugh, it's him.

I love it.

Sun's shining.

Forests.

Trees.

It's really beautiful.

I'm hungry.

I'm going to get something to eat.

Hey, boss.

I'm really hungry.

Starving!

Well, what about some food here.

He must think I'm some kind of a stupid fool or something.

I'd like some good, hot food and plenty of it.

More food?

You just moved from that spot over there.

I did?

Of course.

You can't fool me.

So you think you can pull a fast one on me.

Is that the situation?

You were just sitting over there.

Now you better pay up.

Me?

Sitting there?

Are you kidding me or something?

Stupid.

You think I don't remember?

Trying to play little cheap games with me.

Is that the situation?

Listen, here, I've had enough of this.

RED NOSE MAN: Ko Lin!

Don't hit the defenseless.

He did it again.

Did what?

He always tricks me.

Go get me some food, old man.

You there.

Hurry up with the food.

Hey, what's keeping you?

Nothing.

It's just that you won't be eating any more.

Huh?

Are you crazy or something?

Do you recognize me now?

Huh?

You're the kitchen chef.

Well what a surprise.

MAN: Here's one for you.

[laughter]

Think you're smart?

Here we go.

Now let me finish your haircut.

You know, I won't even charge you for this.

We'll see who laughs last.

Pretty boy.

Even your own mother won't recognize you.

How do you like your new hairstyle?

Forgive me, my ancestors.

I know you, you old dog.

You know me too, then, you fool.

[laughter]

Are you twins or something?

Shut up.

I'm not the guy that you think I am.

I'm the kitchen chef, that's who.

So you think you're smarter than me, do ya?

Ko Lin, what are we going to do with this guy?

Leave him up to me.

What about me?

(LAUGHING) You two really confuse me.

But I want toll money.

Toll money?

You're going to get just more than that.

Look, I've already killed a few of your friends

and you're going to be next.

No fighting!

Hold it!

Leave this guy for me, will you?

Take a rest.

I'm not a cripple.

Damn that bloody old man.

What do you think you're trying to do?

Don't interfere.

I've got work to do.

Bullshit.

It's just as much my fight as yours.

My turn.

No, I think I want to do it.

We'll see who's next.

[laughter]

Why'd you go and spoil my fun?

I was getting tired, that's all.

Getting tired?

Look.

You have a grudge, but I want to get rid of these guys too,

you know.

[shushing]

They're mine and I'm going to get them.

You think you can do it by yourself?

(LAUGHING)

Who's the owner of all this?

Hung's men?

You make me laugh.

What a welcome.

Where's your boss, huh?

Nobody can speak, huh?

What's the matter with you?

Sore throats?

I want Chang So.

Tell him I'm here to call him a visit.

Eh?

No visitors are welcome.

Hold it!

On second thoughts, I think I'll leave.

Move along!

So the kitchen chef is back.

And he challenges me with a rice spoon.

What an insult.

But, sir, there's big trouble out in the yard, you know.

What is it?

Can't you handle anything?

That good-for-nothing.

We'll see what happens to him.

You there.

I've got something to tell you.

Speak up.

Do you know who am?

I've come a long way for you.

How could I forget you?

Your wife was a pretty-looking one, wasn't she?

(LAUGHING)

Laugh now because it's going to be your last time.

You think you can challenge me, do you?

(LAUGHING)

(LAUGHING) So You think you're pretty smart, don't you?

We'll see about that.

Take care of the rice spoon.

You'll break your teeth if you bite too hard.

Huh?

How'd you get in there?

Easy.

I can go anywhere I want.

Aren't you surprised? (LAUGHING)

Ko Lin, rest for a while.

Sure.

Go ahead.

Two of you?

Let me introduce my good friend there.

What'd you do that for?

You're handy sometimes.

Playing games?

I'm going to kill you!

(FEEBLY) Spare me.

Please, spare me.

I'm going to kill you with my magnificent natural fist.

My friend, there's only myself left, and I must find him.

Don't worry, use your natural fist.

Are you looking for me?

I'll kill you.

Oh yeah?

My wife's death is all your doing.

And that's for sure.

So it was.

RED NOSE MAN: Hey!

My friend, your day has come.

Really?

Do you think so?

(LAUGHING)

Yes.

I know so.

Now I'll show you the magnificent natural fist.

Master!

Master!

He's dead. (LAUGHING) You're next.

I'll get you.

Master.

Ko Lin.

[laughter]

How do you like the feel of pain?

I'm not finished with you yet.

[metal clanging]

(LAUGHING) Are you going to fight with those?

I'll make a nice meal out of you.

Will see, buddy.

Get up.

[screeching]