All language subtitles for Chompy and the Girls 2021 1080p WEB-DL DD 2.0 H.264-English

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Original subtitles

♪ When I met my baby ♪

♪ I was feeling low And lonely ♪

♪ I didn't know What living was ♪

♪ My day to day Was just because ♪

♪ I find myself repeating ♪

♪ All these thoughts That I was feeding ♪

♪ To myself so I could sleep At night ♪

♪ My bed was made of dynamite ♪

♪ I'm moving out Of the city today ♪

♪ I'm moving somewhere Nice and pretty ♪

♪ I wanna be somebody else ♪

♪ I want to start it over ♪

♪ I miss the days When life was good ♪

♪ I misremember childhood ♪

♪ I wish that you Could help me ♪

♪ And I wish you didn't Scare me ♪

♪ So much I had to run away ♪

♪ I know we'll probably talk Someday ♪

♪ I'm moving out Of the city today ♪

♪ I'm moving somewhere Nice and pretty ♪

♪ I'm moving out Of the city today ♪

♪ I'm moving somewhere Better for me ♪

-Hey. -Hey.

-Where were you? -I was at work.

You said you'd be home at three.

No, I said four, three is on my Tuesdays.

-Are you sure? -Yeah, I'm pretty sure.

Mm.

Oh, hey, George quit today.

-Who? -George Amora from Logidex.

-Oh, George. -Never mind.

No, go on.

You're not...

Well, he quit today.

Said he's gonna go be a swamp person.

What does that mean?

He wants to hunt alligators.

Eating a $350,000 annual income,

'cause, I mean, he's high up in Logidex.

Leaving to go hunt alligators, I mean, that's, I guess it's a whole lifestyle thing,

lifestyle change, the life of a swamp person.

I guess there's all sorts of other things

that go along with it, but still, it just sounds so...

doesn't that seem just dangerous? Stupid, I mean--

Sam, hon, I'm sorry, I can't do this right now.

Yeah. Okay.

I'm just really busy.

That's-- yeah, I sort of figured.

Well, you reached me.

I'm Lotus, and yeah,

I guess I'm not around.

So just, yeah, guess I'll call you back, bye.

-Okay, bye.

-Hey, Mom, I need to ask-- -I can't talk right now.

Shit.

-Tony, hey. -Hey, Jackson.

I got a new batch for you, it's called Filipino--

Oh, sounds great, but, um, actually

got a bunch of jungle snow left from Casey.

Casey? No, no, you don't wanna-- he cuts with laundry detergent.

So if you want a soapy nose, then...

Yeah, well, I've been using it for about two weeks

and I haven't found any soap bubbles up there yet,

still, but your stuff is better, always is,

unfortunately I'm currently pretty broke right now,

but if you wanted to hang out tonight,

I'd be super down to smoke in the park or something.

Weren't you invited to the Chapel party?

-What? -Yeah, the Chapel party,

Lotus says the cops can't shut it down

if it's technically a religious gathering, so.

Oh, right, the Chapel party.

Might go, need to check. Um...

Did you maybe want to smoke before that, like earlier today?

-What, you wanna buy? -Nah, just, just hang out, really.

Uh, we don't really have that kind of relationship, Jackson.

-No, I know, you don't have to be such a dick about it. -I wasn't--

Yeah, well that's how you're coming off, so.

-Okay, I gotta go, so... -Okay.

-Bye. -Bye.

-Sam, what are we doing for dinner?

Oh, uh, I bought sandwiches.

-Sandwiches? -Well, yeah.

-Why sandwiches? -You didn't wanna go out.

Uh, no, I don't have time to go out, but sandwiches?

Well, yeah 'cause last week you wanted food and I forgot.

So, today I bought food before you texted me about it.

That's not dinner food.

-Yeah, yeah, I'm sorry, I guess you're right.

-What? -I think it's one of those scammers,

like what happened with Marcus.

-This girl is saying she's...

From work.

-Uh...

No, this is real-- this is real.

The, uh-- There's a problem with the computers.

I gotta go get water.

Oh, don't use the fridge water. The dispenser's broken.

Okay.

Uh, I gotta head out to the-- the computers at work

are acting funny and Jed wants me to have a look at them.

When are you gonna be back?

I don't know, probably not too long,

depends on what the problem is.

What are you wearing?

-Boots. -Boots, are those snake skin?

-Yeah, I wanted to change it up. -A snake died for those?

That one's a little snug, I gotta go.

You look ridiculous, Sam.

Thanks, Deborah.

You're Addy?

Yeah, I mostly go by Jackson.

Whoa.

Yeah.

So what is this?

Why are you saying you're my daughter?

Because I'm your daughter.

Wait, is this a trick for money?

I just wanted to meet you.

Clarice would have told me if she had a kid.

I don't know, she said you two had

a pretty big fight before she left school,

and I'm not defending her for not contacting you,

just that's what she said she did.

How long did you know that I was your--

Oh, I mean, I knew my whole life.

Yeah, I tracked you down about six months ago

and it turns out we live like half an hour away

and I was debating on and off for awhile

whether or not I should contact you,

'cause on the one hand it was like,

"Oh, here's my dad,"

and on the other hand, I don't know,

I thought it could be weird, but then, you know,

I had sort of a strange day today. so...

So, I figured why not?

Did you know that I existed or--

Not until your text.

Right, that's what my mom said.

What else did she tell you?

You two dated for a year in college,

and she dropped out before she knew she was pregnant.

She never told you about it.

It was about three years,

but yeah, that's about right.

How's Clarice doing?

She's good, bit of a wreck, we don't talk much anymore.

That's-- I'm sorry.

It is what it is.

I like your jacket.

Thanks.

Who's that on your T-shirt?

Oh! Um, Lizzie Borden, probably should've changed.

-Who's Lizzie-- -She murdered her family with an ax in the 1800s.

-Oh!

Lizzie Borden took an ax, gave her mother--

-40 whacks. -Yeah, it's a buddy of mine,

he has this stupid T-shirt-- murder tees.

He gave me a bunch for free, so I've just got them lying around and I found Borden,

obviously, Bundy, Manson, Dahmer,

and they're supposed to be for teens trying to be edgy, but they're not selling too well.

You know, I just think they're not recognizable enough.

You know, he needs to label them or something.

Like, let's be honest, if you saw Jeffrey Dahmer's face

-on a T-shirt, like, would you recognize it? -No, I don't think I would.

See, Jeffrey Dahmer just isn't an icon in today's popular culture.

I'm sorry, I don't think I can do this.

-What? -You seem great and I really wanna get to know you,

but I just don't think I can do this right now.

I'm not asking to move in with you or anything, I just--

I know, it's just I didn't even know you existed,

and now all of a sudden...

I got to go.

What? So should I just not contact you ever again or?

No, no. I'll contact you when I'm--

-Seriously? -Just please, I--

Okay, bye.

I just...

Please, I-- I'm...

-Hey. -Hey. What, uh...?

Oh, how'd it go?

-What? -Did you get dinner?

Huh?

Oh, they had a pro--

there was a problem with the-- the m-meat.

-Sam.

Danny, I'm so sorry, I'm sorry, Danny.

What do you want?

Tell me what you want, please, please, tell me.

Get back her right now, Danny.

Danny, Danny!

-Oh, fuck.

Fuck.

-You didn't answer your phone. Sam, we gotta go. -Jackson?

-Yeah, yeah. Listen-- -What--

The man, the mouth man who ate the girl--

-What? -He showed up at my apartment 20 minutes ago--

Let me finish! He showed up at my apartment 20 minutes ago

with his mouth all big and chompy.

I figure if he's coming for me, he's coming for you too.

-We gotta go! -But what is he?

No clue, we're gonna go find out.

I'm sorry, you want me to get-- no, no, no,

I'm not going with you in the middle of the-- no, no!

You're gonna get eaten!

-Well, I--

Sam, what's going on?

-Who's this? -This is...

-Oh, my God, Sam. -Did you not tell her?

Deborah, this it's not, it's not--

Oh, it's not, is it?

Excuse me, are you fucking my husband?

You didn't tell her, okay. Um, no, I'm his daughter, and Sam, we gotta go.

-I'm not going. -What?

He had me in college, I just met him. We have to go!

-Sam is this real? -Well, it's not as simple--

-And you didn't tell me? -Well, I just found out.

-When? -Today.

-When today? -At the--

Wait, is that what you were texting about?

Oh, for fuck's sake, will you two stop arguing

so we can leave and not get eaten?!

You said it was about computers!

-I don't want-- no. -What are you talking about?

Big mouth man ate a girl, we gotta go.

-No! -What?

-That's it! -Oh, my God!

-Sam, we're leaving now.

-No! -I'm calling the police.

No! I will throw this knife at your face,

and I'm a goddamn circus freak at knife throwing.

I was in the army.

-Get your shoes on. -No!

Get your shoes on.

Okay, okay, but I'm not going.

-Mm-hmm. -Jackson, for crying out loud, you gotta stop.

Who is that?

Who is that?

Sam, he was after me and you, not your wife.

You wanna keep her safe? You come with me.

-Deborah, I'm-- I'm-- -Sam, wait.

It's cold.

So, you, like, a cowboy?

-What? -Boots?

Oh, no, they're just boots, where are we going?

They're cool boots. Uh, it's a house party.

Well, actually, it's a Chapel party.

I don't really know what that means, you know,

Chapel-themed, Jews-themed, maybe.

-Are you a man of God, Sam? -Why are we going there?

We're gonna go pick up my buddy, Lotus.

Lotus is-- he's the guy.

You know, the guy that you want for shit like this,

you know, ghosts, and vortexes, and magik,

you know, with a K where it's supposed to be real

and he's got all the, uh, magical... books.

He's got all sorts of books and stuff,

you know, that can keep us safe.

Great father-daughter bonding experience.

Hey, look, I really do want to get to know you,

but you pulled a knife on my wife.

That kind of sounds like a Dr. Seuss rhyme.

Seriously, I'm sorry about that.

It was just-- I had to get you out of there,

and normal people don't mess with crazy people.

So, you know, if I act, like, ugh, crazy,

it's just so that normal people won't mess with me,

because, you know, I used to walk around LA

in the middle of the night, just, like, muttering to myself.

Like, "It's not you, it's not you, it's her, it's her, it's her,"

and nobody messed with me.

Like, I don't even know how to throw knives.

I've never thrown a knife.

But yeah, yeah, I can see how that might've been...

-Ooh, don't answer it.

Can you just text her and tell her everything's all right?

Everything's not all right. There's a man with--

I know, but just tell her that we're both safe and good,

and I don't want her calling the cops.

I'm already dead.

-Anyway, it's not her decision.

-What? -Whether I go with you or not.

Not her decision to make.

Well, um...

So what's your deal, Sam?

What's my deal?

Yeah, you know, what are you about?

Can you maybe not smoke in here?

Come on.

Seriously?

I work in a marketing firm called Logidex.

Yeah, is that all you're about?

No, my wife, I care about my wife.

But you didn't tell her about me?

Well, you don't just spring that on somebody.

I mean, you told her you were my daughter and a man ate a girl.

Are you in a healthy relationship?

-Yes. -Really?

-Yes. -Oh, really?

Well, any more interview questions?

No.

I'm sure there'll be more as the night goes on

and I think we are in for quite an interesting night.

-Sam, please answer.

I need you to talk to me.

I need to know where you are.

You know what? I'm sorry, no, it doesn't matter where you are.

I just need to know that you're safe.

Uh... Please, please call me back.

I just wanna talk.

I wanna talk about all of this, whatever's going on.

I wanna be there for you.

I'm not angry.

-I love you.

You've reached the maximum time

permitted for recording your message.

If you are satisfied with your message, press one.

To listen to your message, press two.

You ever think about if/then of this whole conundrum?

You know, like if it's true that there's a magic man

that eats people, like whatever wackiness numbers are true,

kind of offends science as we know it, you know?

-Sam? -I'll just wait in the car.

Um... No, there's a man with a mouth, with a big mouth after us.

We need a name for it, you cool with Chompy?

Yeah, yeah, that's-- yeah, okay.

So these are like friends of yours, yeah?

Well, uh, we're gonna find out.

I think it's-- yeah, this way.

-Lotus. -Jackson.

This is certainly a surprise.

The old Jacky, Jack, Jack, Jackson in town.

Hmm. And who's the...?

Yeah, I'll get to that. Lotus, we have to talk.

Oh. Well, why don't you tell me what you've been up to first, Jackson?

I mean, it's been, well, it's certainly been awhile.

-Give me a life update. -Later, Lotus, we gotta talk.

Mm, let's drink. This is Genevieve.

Now her and our spirit animals are like this.

It's also her house.

I'm sorry about the trash bag. My shirt burned.

Yeah, yeah, lovely to meet you, Guinevere.

Lotus, like now, okay?

-Nice to--

Hey, man, I like your boots.

You left Genevieve back there. She's there, she's alone.

This Chapel party sucks, it's a mess.

Yeah, okay, okay, that's fine.

Listen, we need your help with some like paranormal shit.

Oh, fuck, yeah, that shit is my jam.

Okay, now you need to tell me, is there a spook involved?

Yeah, so there was this girl, right?

This little girl, she must be like nine or something

-and she was standing there-- -Yeah, tell me this.

I imagine it was probably something with her,

like a shadowy type of-- it's a Rixella, all right?

It's an interdimensional, kind of parasite

attached to people, you know what I'm talking about?

No? Okay, look guys, there's been a manload, a report, a manload.

I thought it'd be like my new word. It's a manload.

No, Lotus, it wasn't the girl. There was a man who opened his mouth.

Okay, okay, okay, keep talking about all that,

but Jackson, do you want a little bit of the good stuff?

-No! H or coke? -H!

No, this-- why the fuck-- this is important, okay?

Okay, calm your crumpus there, chump.

I don't do heroin.

Can we please just get back to the man who ate a girl?

Oh, he ate her, did he, mouth into...?

Right, so Sam and I were just sitting on the park bench

and then we saw them across the way, and then he opened his mouth,

like super wide, like way wide, and then-- and then he just swallows her,

like he goes up and then he goes up and...

and like her feet are sticking out, and then she's just gone.

-Lotus? -That girl.

Ah!

-What the fuck, kid? -There was a pill, okay?

There was a pill he put in there and he wanted to give it to you.

And you! You were trying to--

-Fuck! -Jesus Christ.

You! Son of a bitch!

He's a fucking rapist!

-What the fuck was that? -Look there was a pill, okay,

he put a pill in her drink when she was gone.

-Oh. -Yeah.

-What, so you drank it? -What?

-You drank the pill. -Yeah, he was gonna give it to her.

You couldn't just take the drink or you could

-have spilled it out or just tell her?

-Who the fuck are you? -Get in.

Seat belts.

Lotus, we're going to your place, okay?

You can barricade us in with some sort of magic circle or something.

Hold on, I'm texting 911 about that guy.

-Is this really necessary? -What?

What, the guy, yeah, it's 911, fuck, yeah, it's necessary.

No, not that, the whole magic circle.

Yeah, Lotus, can you make a magic circle?

You're asking me about magic circles, man.

Something like 90% of the stuff

that people run around here talking about is magic.

It's not magic, it's just bullshit.

That's just people walking around with their own beliefs

their own religion, their own politi-ti-ti-tics,

-and it just gets-- -Lotus, we don't need to talk about this.

No, no, no, wait-- mashes together, so what do you have?

You got this little, tiny, tiny, little, little piece

of something that's real, that's truthful.

And you gotta find it, and sometimes that means listening

and communicating to people, and that's what life's about.

That's what we're here to do, Jackson,

do you know what I mean, do you know what I mean?

Yeah.

Lotus, can you make a magic circle?

Yeah, why?

-What's a magic circle?

Jackie, you running around with this guy?

-It'll protect us. -Really?

I got books, I got tons of books.

Mouths and...

Hey, you all right, buddy?

Yeah, yeah. Mm. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

Just a bit dizzy, that's all, but it's okay.

Oh, oh, yo, Lotus, did you just puke?

Mm-mm, done nothing but a sporadic tooth,

but I'm gonna find it, I'm gonna find it,

-'cause the tooth fairy-- -Jackson, look.

-No, I've got-- -Look.

Okay, what?

That's the girl.

No.

-Hey, Lotus. -Huh, what?

You see that little girl up there?

You're kind of a dick, Jackson.

-You're like a Jack-dick. -Jesus, Lotus.

No, that's why, that's why

I don't hang out with you anymore.

That's why we don't talk anymore.

I'm gonna go talk to her.

No, listen, Sam, she's just standing there

on the side of the street in the middle of the night.

That's not, that's not normal.

You're gonna have to come with me.

Yeah, I'll come with you, I'll come buddy, come on.

That's okay.

Uh, excuse me, um, no, no, no, no, it's okay.

We're not gonna hurt you, it's okay, it's okay.

Uh... What's your name?

-Birch. -Birch.

-It's Birch. -What you doing out here, Birch?

I need help.

My... my parents are gone.

-I need help. -What happened to your parents?

Yeah, I'll help you, but what are you doing

on the side of the street at 3:15 in the morning?

-My mom was gonna get me. -I think--

Your mom was gonna pick you up in the middle of the night?

My mom.

-Jackson. -What?

You're being kind of--

she's crying, you gotta stop.

You were the one who was all suspicious of her be--

Okay, I'm sorry, but you have to admit

that this is pretty f-- this is pretty weird.

We saw a little girl who looked just like you in the park

when a man picked her up and ate her.

-Jackson! -So how do you explain that?

I don't know.

-Birch, Birch, it's okay. -Yeah, yeah, it's okay, Birch.

Where were you at four o'clock yesterday?

-I was in a lot of places. -Such as?

I don't know,

a movie, I was at a movie.

-What movie? -Jackson.

-"Bananaman." -What?

Here, tell me what "Bananaman" is about, hmm?

It's about a man, he's a banana man

and he lives in the jungle with Strawberry Gerry,

and they have to go to the puddles to get milk,

but Vegetable Soup doesn't want them to

because it's her milk, and there was a mouse

that eats them and then they're okay,

and they get it out of the mouse and then there's a tornado--

-Birch, it's okay, it's okay. -Yeah, it's okay, it's okay.

-What happened next? -Jackson, can I talk to you?

-Um, stop. -I'm interrogating her.

Well, God, if her parents are missing,

all we gotta do is call the police and then we can go.

Sam, Sam, she's involved. She's involved with Chompy one way or another,

-and the police are not going to be able to help her. -I don't--

-Go, go! -Oh, Birch, here, come with me.

Come with me, come with me now, now, now

Come on, come on, come on, get in the car, get in the car.

Get in!

-Get in the car, get in the car, get in the car! -I know.

She doesn't need a seatbelt. No, it doesn't matter, just get in the car!

-Go, go, go, go, go!

Birch, do you have any clue who that was?

-I don't-- I don't know. -No clue?

No.

Sam, do you have any other kids?

No.

Only child.

Do you love boats like I love boats?

Then you know you can't boat without insurance.

What's the deal, get off me!

Okay, okay, I'm gonna take Lotus in, but just-- Sam--

-Whoa, whoa, Jackson. -Give me one second, one second, okay?

Oh, Sam, this--

-What is this? -Uh, benzoyl-methyl-ecgonine.

It's cocaine.

That's not nice!

I will not have you putting us all at risk just to--

Oh, boy.

Nice boots, cowboy.

-Nope, nope, nope, just-- -Okay.

I always wondered what a roofie was like.

Birch, you can come, too. Why don't you want to come in?

-He's not right. -No, the truth in the 1950s.

-Your breath smells bad. -The government, they used chemical weapons.

Oh, he's on-- he's just kind of sick.

You don't have to worry about him. He's not going to hurt you.

-Can we wait out here? -No, no, no, we gotta go.

-No. -Birch, it's not safe out here.

Birch, you know the man who was chasing you?

If we stay out here, he could come back.

It was a violation of the Geneva--

-Are you guys coming?! -Yeah.

-Okay, Birch, we gotta go. -No, no.

-Come on. It's okay, you're all right. -Stop, Please! Stop, stop!

-Stop! Stop! Okay, okay, okay. -Come on.

-Go.

I'm okay.

-You all right, buddy?

Okay, where's the book with the mouth man?

You're a mouth man.

-Hey, Birch, what time is it? -What?

-What time is it? -It's, uh, four--

Nope, it's rag time.

Mm-mm. No.

It's rag time 'cause of the...

-Lotus, can you make a magic circle?

Mm-hmm.

Okay, okay, okay, come on, buddy, it's time for bed.

-You go to bed. -No, no, no, come on.

Hey, hey, hey, careful with the merch index.

Birch, everything all right?

Birch?

You know, Jackson,

you still owe me 30 bucks for the exorcism.

That wasn't an exorcism, Lotus.

Where's the book with the mouth man?

You know what, Jackson, I don't like you very much.

-That's great, thanks, Lotus.

Oh, no, no, no, I'm sorry, I didn't mean it it like that,

Jackson, I didn't mean to hurt you like that.

I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like that, I'm sorry.

I'm an addict, Jackson.

Okay, okay, it's okay. It's all right.

-I'm sorry, Jackson, I'm sorry. -Come on.

-I know. Yeah, just lay down.

Let's play the breathing game, okay?

In, two, hold, two, out, two.

In, two, hold, two, out, two.

In, two, hold, two, out, two.

Come on.

Sleep on your side.

Sam?

-Sam, Sam?

Sam?

Sam?

Come on.

God, oh, my God, oh, my God, Sam, Sam, Sam, wake up, wake up, please.

-Oh, my God, fucking son of a bitch.

Oh, my God. It's okay, okay.

How, how-- What just, uh--

Water, I'll get you some water.

Birch was some sorta, I don't know,

I didn't read the whole thing of Lotus's book,

but she was on top of you and it was like you were being eaten

or something and she ran off and...

How long, how long was I unconscious?

Seconds? Longer? But you were just unconscious.

You were-- I don't want to say you were-- you were dead,

but it kind of seemed that way, so...

And there's some-- Lotus, he said, he said something

about "Recalla"-- Rixella is an interdimensional parasite.

Invisible in our reality, it attaches to a host

it finds vulnerable, yada, yada, yada.

This does not seem like it.

-Oh, whoa! -Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

-Are you all right?

Hold on.

It's just too fucking weird.

It's-- oh, God.

-F-f-foot, foot.

Uh...

I don't think there's anything in here about-- Sam, I--

-That does not happen. -I know, I know.

No, no, you don't. I-- it's, it's, it's baby foot!

-Yeah. -I have a baby foot!

-Yeah, we can, um...

-I wanna go home. -Sam, if you go home,

your foot stays this way and you get eaten.

Were you really in the army?

Yeah, yeah, for like two weeks.

They, uh, kicked me out.

-Why'd you join? -It seemed exciting,

save the country, get to die.

I texted Deborah.

She's on her way.

What?

-I just-- -God, Sam, no, no, why would you--

What's she gonna do?

I can't do this.

What, your foot or...

This?

-I just, I just-- What? -Seriously.

So I should just not contact you again.

No, no, I want you to.

Okay, you were being more of a dad

-to Birch than to me, okay? -She was ten!

Oh, great, so I, I should've come to you when I was 10. Got it.

Jackson, Jackson, come back.

-What? -You got lucky.

-Chompy? -Mm-hmm.

Okay.

Okay, I'm gonna go talk to him.

What?

I-- You can't walk.

Jackson, I'm sorry.

Bad idea, bad idea, bad idea why is this a bad idea?!

Hey, the girl, Birch, the girl you ate.

Um, she attacked us.

She attacked me.

I got away, I mean, she got away.

She ran off, um, I think it was that w--

-Was it that way, Jackson? -I didn't see.

You're after her, right? You're after the girl?

Or you're after us?

I mean, she turned my foot, it's a small foot.

I mean, maybe we can talk about this, talk this through,

you know, work together, share what we know.

I mean, can you talk?

Can you understand me?

He's gotta understand you 'cause he stopped when you mentioned Birch.

Can you help us or do you need our help?

You want us-- are we gonna be okay?

Okay.

Okay, well.

-Jackson, you don't-- oh.

No.

No, no, no, no, no, no.

Shit.

Oh.

-W-w-what-- -Jackson, Sam,

me Talon, you are safe now.

I cannot speak in physical form.

So, I brought you here to explain my actions.

Welcome to my mouth.

If you had revealed my existence

after the incident in the park,

my work may have been compromised.

I am in pursuit of a Rixella, the shadow parasite,

attaching to those who allow it in

and are vulnerable enough to be affected by its presence.

In this case, the young girl, Birch,

it is set on assimilating every human being

into an exact replication of her,

which brings us to your foot, Sam,

an unfinished assimilation, but I will swallow them.

I will heal them and I will destroy the Rixella.

However, you must not alert anyone of my presence.

Yeah.

Can you fix my foot?

When the shadow dies, your foot will recover,

until then, it seems your adventure is complete.

I will save your species but need no thanks.

Sleep well tonight knowing I am out there.

Oh, my God.

-Oh, my God. -So Chompy, you just--

And we just-- Oh, boy. Okay.

-Yeah.

So, we just let you be

and you let us live and you save the day?

All right, all right, yes, okay.

Great, holy shit.

Great.

What?

-Oh! -Deborah?

Oh!

What is he?

Chompy, hey, Chompy.

He was gonna save us.

-H-he was gonna-- -And you killed him.

I got to-- we need to call the police.

-No, no! -Deborah, Deborah, it's not like that.

-We need to move him. -What?

We need to move him, so Sam, grab his arms,

and Deborah, just go park the car by the sidewalk.

-What? -Sam, be useful, God damn it, Sam...

-...and Deborah just leave, okay, leave!

-Sam, just--

Baby foot!

No, out, out, out, you get out!

-Jackson. -This-- this is on you, buddy.

-Where are we going? -We are going-- we are going away.

We are driving-- we are driving away.

Okay.

Hey, Deb, where we going, hmm?

We're going to Peter's Pancakes. We're going to Peter's Pancakes

because I-- I have not eaten in 12 hours and I am hungry.

Okay?

Okay.

Hi, welcome to Peter's Pancakes, my name's Kakei.

Can I get you guys started with something to drink?

I'll just have water.

-How's your coffee? -Oh, I don't drink coffee, I'm Mormon.

Right, well, I'll have a coffee and a cup

of half orange juice, half pineapple juice.

Yum.

And for you, miss?

She's fine.

I'll have a toast.

Oh, are we ordering food now?

-Sure! -Okay. I'll have a large stack

of chocolate chunk-o, double stack pancakes. Sam?

I'm good with just a water.

Sam, you've been up all fucking night.

You didn't eat shit.

You know what happens when you don't eat,

your body shuts down, I don't need you

fucking shutting down on me, so just--

-I'll have bacon. -Just a side of bacon?

-Yeah. -Not very healthy.

Well, you're eating choc-- choco-chink.

Chocolate chunk, Sam, what you just said is a racial slur.

I think that's all, thank you.

Why are you so hurt?

Hurt, I'm not hurt, I'm not hurt.

I'm fucking worried because we're all gonna be little girls now.

No, no, I don't-- I don't mean that.

I meant before, before any of that.

Level with me, Jackson, what's going on with you?

Sam, you're my father, you're not my dad.

So stop trying to be, you had that chance

at the park and you fucking blew it.

And why did we leave Chompy at Lotus's? That was a stupid thing to do.

Fuck, I'm gonna text him.

Who did I kill?

Little girls are trying to assimilate humanity

and you killed the one thing that could have stopped them.

-Jackson, you have to stop. -Stop what?

Sam, you can't do this.

Deb, I know it doesn't make sense.

Is this really your daughter?

Deborah, it's not-- the table's wet. Gross.

Yes, I am, but we need a plan, okay?

Because if we don't have a plan, we just sit here eating pancakes and then we all die.

-Deb, look under the table.

-Why? -Just look under the table.

-What did you do to him? -Now, Deb, Deb, she didn't do anything.

It was a little girl.

I can't do this.

We could get a divorce.

-That's not what I meant. -What if we set a trap?

Like, lure 'em into one place and then and kill 'em.

-What if we talked to them? -You want to talk to it?

-Sam, why? -Yeah, I mean, 'cause we talked to the mouth man

and, you know what, that worked.

Yeah, until he died; I'm not pointing fingers.

Well, no, it did, we thought he was trying to kill us.

-We talked to him and it worked out okay. -So we killed him instead.

That's not relevant. Jackson, I'm sorry.

I'm really sorry, I know I didn't handle

our relationship the way I should have,

but you're right, we have to do something.

So we're gonna to talk to Birch.

There's one close by.

There's a lot of 'em.

Uh. Jackson, you're pouring syrup on the table.

Am I?

Yeah, I'm gonna keep pouring the syrup

on the table until you come up with a rational plan.

Just syrup city, syrup swamp, syrup sea,

you know, S-E-A, sea, hmm, no plan, we're all fucked.

-Girls win, that's all, folks. -Oh, I'm sorry, you can't smoke in here, it's--

Why would you do that?

I have to clean this up now.

You wanna?

Yeah.

Excuse me, sorry.

Uh...

It's all I have, so.

-I'm gonna talk to the girls.

Excuse me.

I need help.

What do you need help with?

Go straight, she's nearby.

How do you know?

Oh, uh, I think my foot can feel it, I don't know.

Okay, I'm sorry.

I know, but I have to ask, why did you spill the syrup?

I just did.

-You just did? -Yeah.

-Well, that's not good enough. -Sam, I'm sorry, okay, but I am not a happy person.

I like to tell myself it's because I live in California

and I hate California,

and I like to tell myself it's because my mom sucked

and I didn't know my dad, and I really,

really like to tell myself it's because I'm a heroin addict,

and if I move to some naturey countryside, if I quit heroin cold turkey,

if I won the California Lottery Mega-Millions,

I would be happy...

for a month or two or three, max.

And then I would just be right back where I started.

Do you still use heroin?

No. I don't, you caught me with coke,

which is much healthier, it's a lower LD50,

which means less chance of ODing and lower addiction rates,

I mean, it's a bit more expensive, but--

Is it difficult?

-What? -Addiction?

You have no idea.

-You know, I think you're wrong. -Yeah?

Not about addiction, about your mindset.

Have you ever thought of joining the Peace Corps?

No, I'll check that out.

I know it's not Christmastime, but I like this song.

We're going to play it.

-♪ Joy to the world The Lord has come ♪ -What are you doing?

I'm singing, Sam, I sing when I'm stressed

and it's a stressful situation, so...

♪ Let every heart Prepare Him room ♪

♪ And heaven and nature sing ♪ Hey, Deb, you wanna join in?

♪ And heaven and nature ♪

-Sam! You're a psychic. -A foot psychic.

-Don't leave me.

I don't think I can with my foot.

Hey, do you, uh...?

-No, no, no.

-Help!

-Oh! -Help!

-No, no! -Help her!

-Okay, okay, I got 'em, I got 'em.

Trunk, trunk, trunk.

Okay. No. Legs. Okay.

Go!

If you act crazy, normal people don't mess with you.

-Uh... Okay. -We should probably go, though.

Oh.

-Mm.

♪ I stopped smoking Cigarettes, babe ♪

♪ You know it's true ♪

♪ Comb my hair up, baby ♪

♪ Anything for you ♪

♪ Since you've been gone From me ♪

♪ My pillow's been A black hole ♪

♪ Getting really lonely now ♪

♪ But I'll make it Girl, I'll make it ♪

How are you holding up, Deborah?

You want a divorce?

-Uh... I-- I...

-Can we talk about this later? -I just need to know what to do with the rest of my life.

Look, if I said I wanted a divorce , and I'm not saying I do,

it would be because I thought that we both would be happier apart.

I just-- I love you, Deb.

No, you don't.

Have you been wanting to for awhile?

I've thought about it.

I just feel like you, we never, you never communicate with me.

-I don't communicate? -I mean, well, not, no, no, not, not like that.

I just, I mean, when's the last time

we had a real conversation?

When's the last time you asked me how my day was?

I try to talk to you.

Sam, you talk to me about nothing.

We've been communicating on small talk.

I think since before we were married.

But we used to be friends.

Okay, okay.

This is all really good, but we're here.

-So I'm going to need help with the...

-Tape now. Now! -I'm looking, Jackson, where's the tape?

-I don't know. -Ah. Oh, baby foot!

-Here, here.

-It's okay, it's okay.

Got it, I got it, I got it.

Yes, Lotus replied, he's found Chompy.

-Oh, God. -Come here now.

-Okay, Birch, let's talk. -Do we have tie her up?

Yes. Why do you want to assimilate everyone, hmm?

Look Birch, we're not trying to hurt you, we're just trying to figure this out.

Birch, Birch, listen to me. We just need your help is all, so what's going on in your head?

Do you want everyone to be like you?

Do you need to? Is this something you need to do to survive--

Oh, no!

-Is the whole place locked? -No, no, that's good, though, that's good.

Oh, fucking ass.

Bathroom window, kitchen window.

Jackson, what window's open?

Oh, my God, bathroom has no windows.

I have never felt this distressed in my entire life.

Idea: so if you get this one to insanity, they share a mind,

so they would all go insane, we could torture it,

which I don't wanna do 'cause sounds really icky,

and regardless of the fact that they are monsters,

they do look like little girls, and it totally might not work.

It might make them all super angry, and also

Sam has a baby foot and I don't really like that,

we should not do that.

They're not angry, they're scared.

Is your foot telling you that?

Are they dangerous?

The windows, we need to check the windows.

Windows, okay, oh, great, oh, great. That's not fucking terrifying.

-Mattress. -Mattress. The mattress.

-We can make a barricade.

-Stop. -It's helping with adrenaline, you need to scream with me.

-Hey, hey, Lotus, you here? -There's a lot of girls out here, lot of girls.

-There's no way I'm coming in. -What's going on?

What, how I am supposed to know what these are,

who these are, I don't know what these are.

Shit, can you make a magic circle?

No, I cannot draw a magic circle.

I told you, I'm surrounded, okay?

That is for non-corporations only, and, oh, by the way,

I've got the dead mouth-angel in my trunk.

By the way, how did you guys kill a mouth-angel?

F... Can we do anything with it?

Can we feed them to the body?

No, maybe.

-Yeah. -Where's Deborah?

-I don't know. -No, that's it, put the girls in the corpse's mouth.

-The portal might still be open. -Okay, okay, fine,

bring Chompy in, I will, I will.

No, no, there's no way that I'm coming in there.

You're gonna come out here, no way.

-She's looking right at me. -Jackson, where's Deborah?

Fuck, Sam, I gotta go.

-What? -Jackson, Jackson? Jack--

Deb, Deborah, Deb.

What?

Deb, Deb.

I'm sorry.

-Lotus, pop the trunk.

Okay.

-Jackson!

Hey.

Hey.

-How you doing?

-Not good.

Your, uh-- your hand is, uh...

Oh. Oh. Oh, God.

-Why'd I buy these stupid boots?

Snake died for these.

I don't think we should have gotten married.

Do you wanna end it?

If we live, yeah.

I'm glad you found Jackson.

Me too.

Birch.

Are you gonna hurt me?

Okay, okay, hey, hey, hey.

Just talk to me, okay?

What's...?

I don't want to hurt anyone.

Okay, okay, yeah, you're good, you're good.

But, uh... What's that?

You need to go now.

Okay, I'll go, but just first, just what is it, hmm?

It's making me do it.

I don't want to.

I made Susan me and I made my parents me

and Ms. Hiyoshito me, and I made a lot of people me.

-What is it? -I can't tell you.

You need to go. Go. Go!

Please.

Okay, okay.

-Birch, do you wanna get it off you? -I can't.

Why not?

I can't, it's part of me now.

It's part of you?

It's okay, it's okay.

No.

-I can deal with this. -What, what?

Birch, just let it go, just give it to me.

-But-- No, no, no. -Shh, shh, shh. Listen to me, okay?

You don't have to live like this anymore.

You don't have to live like this anymore, okay?

-I can take it, okay? Okay? I'll take it.

-Thank you. -Go.

Okay.

You're not taking over.

You're not taking over!

You are not assimilating anyone else.

Sorry, buddy.

Help, help, please, help!

Get off my daughter!

-Get off!

Come on.

It's okay.

-We gotta get out of here, come on.

Come on, jump, get out.

-Go again. Again.

It's okay, baby, it's okay, it's okay.

Jackson, Jackson.

Oh, my God.

-Grab hold. -Oh, my God.

Whoa! Jeez.

Hold on.

Oh! Someone get help, help, somebody help, help, come here.

Thank you.

-Yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

Mom, Dad.

So, you two doing okay?

Uh...

-Uh...

I think we're-- I think we're getting a divorce.

Yeah.

Probably for the best.

Right.

Yeah.

Sorry about all this.

Not your fault

Yeah, but I didn't have to be such a dick about it.

I'm-- I'm sorry, too.

It's all right.

I think I need help.

So who are you?

This is my dad, Sam.

Oh. Okay, I don't think you ever mentioned that part.

Hi.

So I guess that must mean that you're her...

No, no, Deborah, hi.

Okay.

I'm really glad I reached out to you.

Yeah, I'm really glad too.

You guys want to get some breakfast?

Yeah, and then sleep.

I could eat an egg.

Me too.

-Let's do it, Deb. -I'll drive.

Okay.

-Yeah.

♪ Am I your fool? ♪

♪ Am I the one that you love? ♪

♪ Am I your fool? ♪

♪ Am I the one That you dream of? ♪

♪ Late night phone calls ♪

♪ Where have you been? ♪

♪ Sorry, I was busy ♪

♪ 'Cause I love you ♪

♪ But I'm getting tired Anxiety is winning ♪

♪ And all I ever wanted Was you ♪

♪ Now I'm alone ♪

♪ And I'm starting To feel sorry for myself ♪

♪ Now I'm alone ♪

♪ Sitting at home Doing drugs by myself ♪

♪ Late night phone calls ♪

♪ Where have you been? ♪

♪ Sorry, I was busy ♪

♪ 'Cause I love you ♪

♪ But I'm getting tired Anxiety is winning ♪

♪ And all I ever wanted was ♪

♪ That classic Drop everything kind of love ♪

♪ 'Cause all I ever wanted Was you ♪

♪ In my head I feel all right ♪

♪ In my head I feel all right ♪

♪ In my head I feel all right ♪

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