Original subtitles

A film made with the supp0rt 0f the Nati0nal Cinema Center

In c0llab0rati0n with the R0manian Televisi0n S0ciety

- Marcel has 0utrun us again ! - H0w d0es he d0 it every time ?

Let's get inside !

0nce again, y0u're late.

- Marcel, can I tell y0u a j0ke ? - N0 !

Get busy n0w ! Cut !

Maybe I'll win en0ugh t0 buy s0me s0up.

- Is this all y0u eat at h0me ? - And what if I d0 ?

''I'm an 0rdinary girl...''

''There's n0thing strange with me...''

''My eyes aren't s0 extra0rdinary...''

''I have a c0mm0n smile...''

Knights 0f the R0und Table ! Are y0u ready ?

Yes !

H0w many ?

Three.

- Tw0. - Three.

0ne.

Three... Tw0... Three... 0ne.

- 0ne leu. - I'm 0ut.

I'll raise y0u tw0.

- I'll raise y0u five. - Call.

I'm 0n.

- That thing isn't w0rth a penny ! - C0me 0n ! We'll take it.

Thanks, Marcel. Y0u're such a gent'.

F0ur aces.

P0KER

Have a seat.

C0mrade, 0ne 0range juice and 0ne Savarin cake.

What's wr0ng, Marcel ? D0n't y0u like Savarin cakes ?

- D0 I have a ch0ice ? - N0.

- D0 I have a ch0ice ? - N0.

I did that when I recruited y0u. I think I made a g00d ch0ice.

Marcel, fr0m n0w 0n, y0u will be the Bachel0r.

- I'd have rather been The Ace. - This name is taken already.

Sign here... Leave them !

What year are y0u in at the Architecture Faculty ?

- I'm a s0ph0m0re. - Here, t00.

H0w will we get in t0uch ?

This is my number. Y0u say y0u're the Bachel0r and y0u ask f0r me.

- C0mrade, the check ! - N0 need...

- G00dbye ! - D0n't y0u f0rget !

Y0u'll take this secret t0 y0ur grave If y0u betray us, we'll find y0u.

- W0uld y0u like t0 hear a j0ke ? - We kn0w it !

It's a g00d 0ne.

''I'm an 0rdinary girl...''

- ''There's n0thing...'' - Then, f0ld and that's that !

C0me 0n... Tw0 Lei.

I call y0ur tw0 and I'll raise y0u ten.

I f0ld.

- Three sevens. I'll see y0u. - I beat y0u. Straight t0 the Queen.

He wh0 takes the m0ney, first, will have t0 give them back.

I d0n't think s0. I leave y0u n0w. M0ther's waiting f0r me with s0up.

Are y0u crazy ? S0up at ten 0'cl0ck in the m0rning ?

T0 each h0use its habit. T0day, we're having s0up at 10.

If y0u g0, leave the m0ney !

Let him g0 ! G0, Titel ! The s0up will get c0ld.

Thanks, Marcel. I w0n't f0rget y0u.

- What are we d0ing n0w ? - We play.

- Us three ? - With a ''dead hand''.

Cards !

- I want tw0. - Three.

Tw0... Three... And 0ne f0r me.

35.

- I pass. - I'll raise y0u 85.

Plus 200.

Check.

Let me see y0ur hand, H0ria.

Flush.

Y0u can take it h0me and flush it d0wn the t0ilet.

F0ur Bachel0rs.

My father will kill me. These were f0r the electrical and gas bills.

Take it ! I'm lending it t0 y0u. Y0u'll repay me when y0u can.

I have never seen new 100 bills. Where did y0u get them ?

- I s0ld my mem0irs. - What mem0irs ?

The 0nes fr0m the future.

Are y0u sure ?

Didn't I tell y0u ?

They br0ught pe0ple with sh0tgun w0unds t0 the h0spital.

- Everyb0dy is talking ab0ut it. - Turn that damn thing 0n !

It's the upper butt0n.

... and I ask the w0rkers...

I ask all w0rkers in 0ur fact0ries and plants t0 st0p w0rking.

- L00k ! - Isn't that Marcel ?

Yes, it's him.

If y0u d0n't c0me here, t0 the Televisi0n building,

If y0u d0n't c0me here, t0 the Televisi0n building,

t0 j0in us,

be aware that what all 0ur eff0rts y0u see n0w w0uld be in vain.

I d0n't want it t0 end like this.

I'm g0ing there right n0w.

- I'm g0ing there, t00. - Put 0n a sweater !

D0n't let me see y0u in the h0spital, sh0t in the head !

''I'm an 0rdinary girl...''

''There's n0thing strange with me...''

''My eyes aren't s0 extra0rdinary...''

''I have a c0mm0n smile...''

Hail !

Y0u're full 0f stamina, my dear ! Y0ur p0wer is limitless.

I kn0w n0 limits. If I'm t00 much f0r y0u, let me kn0w, Senat0r.

Never, h0ney ! Y0u're free t0 wear me 0ut.

What did y0ur wife say when y0u left her ?

- 28 years 0f sp0tless marriage... - She asked me t0 div0rce her.

- What ? - She c0uldn't take it anym0re.

- In bed ? - N0 way ! She's fr0m Transylvania.

She c0uldn't spend all the m0ney as I received as bribe.

- There'd always be m0ney left... - What ab0ut me ?

- I'm the 0ne wh0 has t0 keep up. - In bed ?

- I mean taking bribe, dear ! - P00r girl !

She'd barely learned t0 intr0duce herselfh

Mrs Senat0r Claudiu Vitelaru.

- I'd like t0 see her n0w. - D0n't y0u w0rry ab0ut her !

Y0u left her that beautiful h0use. This is why we have a pr0t0c0l h0use.

All I dream 0f, at night, is b0ars and 0xen.

- I als0 dreamt 0f y0u last night. - Were there any fangs, t00 ?

- Y0u had h0rns. - Already ?

Then, y0u w0n't get a thing fr0m me.

Senat0r... Is there anything f0r me ?

What d0 y0u have there ?

C0me 0n, Senat0r... Please ! Sh0w me !

Where ? Here ? I d0n't kn0w... C0me and see !

Tell me I'm right ! My G0d !

Am I, 0fficially, y0ur fianc�e ?

My G0d ! What a beauty !

D0es it fit me well ?

N0 ! N0t this s0ng !

Pr0fess0r...

Pr0fess0r, this way ! The hall is full 0f media.

D0 y0u think he'll survive ?

I can't say. I haven't seen the patient. They br0ught him n0w.

- Is there anything left ? - Yes, f0r the aut0psy... I'm j0king.

Can y0u tell if he's g0ing t0 die until the evening news ?

We g0t him 0n the street. He was burning beautifully.

Please... My assistant will tell y0u. N0w y0u'll excuse me. Thanks.

Pr0fess0r, 0ne m0re questi0n !

Make way !

D0 y0u still feel pain ?

As y0u kn0w, we are the 0nly netw0rk that has exclusive f00tage

0f the immense eff0rt of professor Horia Vrabete,

t0 save the life 0f the unf0rtunate man wh0 set himself 0n fire,

in fr0nt 0f the City Hall, in 0rder t0 get a place t0 live.

- H0w d0 y0u feel bef0re surgery ? - Are we live ?

N0.

Then I feel like shit, sweetie. What's with y0u all here ?

Get 0ut ! Wise guy... I t0ld y0u I d0n't like these tricks.

Y0u kn0w I d0n't like it. Let's get t0 business !

We have w0rk t0 d0 !

D0wn !

M0ve !

M0ve !

Y0u scum !

Why d0 y0u b0rr0w m0ney, when y0u kn0w y0u can't pay it back ?

Give me an0ther day... Just 0ne m0re day. It's all I ask.

0ne m0re day ?

I'm s0 s0rry I can't help y0u.

C0mrade ! What are y0u d0ing ?

- What did he say ? - ''It's n0thing. I'm all h0les.''

It's fr0m a m0vie that was 0n.

Y0u m0vie fan... Take this fr0m Mister Semaca.

B0ss... Y0u're s0 g00d !

The best. Father, bless them ! Let the fish lie with the fish.

- Did he pay his debt ? - Yes. We made him d0 it.

Y0u did g00d. Th0se pe0ple have n0 h0n0ur.

Until everything clears up, I'll make myself scarce.

I need a h0liday. But n0t at Jilava pris0n.

- Y0u kn0w it inside 0ut. - Better inside, y0u mean...

I was thinking ab0ut C0sta Rica. What d0 y0u say ?

But n0t f0r l0ng.

- I'm leaving y0u in my place. - I understand.

Keep an eye 0n the clans 0f B0lintineanu and Sad0veanu !

I d0n't want them 0n 0ur territ0ry.

Be careful ! Have n0 mercy ! Sh0w them what y0u can !

I remain faithful to the Agarbiceanu clan.

G00dbye !

C0me 0n, step 0n it !

Mr Jean ! Please, c0me ! Mr Jean c0mes first.

- Is he a dipl0mat ? - He's Cuban...

H0w are y0u, Mr Jean ? Where have y0u travelled ?

If I tell y0u, I'll make y0u cry.

May I have an aut0graph f0r my wife ?

- F0r y0ur mistress, maybe... - Y0u did this last time.

Y0u're right. Y0u're with the same girl ?

- Yes. I'm faithful t0 her. - Really ? I am faithful, t00 !

Here ! Please !

- Here y0u are !

L00k ! There's Penel0pe.

Penel0pe !

- What are y0u d0ing, y0u assh0les ? - B0ss... S0rry !

Are y0u 0ut 0f y0ur minds ?

Take my luggage !

Any changes while I was away ? They replaced any ministers 0r c0ps ?

0nly the 0fficials. The same guys make the game.

- Titel is running the sh0w. - Did y0u tell him I'm back ?

- He d0esn't return 0ur calls. - We'll set things right.

First, I must make myself a new face.

T0 the clinic !

- What clinic ? - H0ria's clinic.

D0 y0u think it's wise, b0ss ?

D0n't y0u w0rry ! H0ria will keep his m0uth shut.

He has huge debts with me.

If he d0esn't pay, wh0 kn0ws what may happen ?

H0w's 0ur patient ? Calm d0wn !

He's very anxi0us and wants t0 unwrap his bandages.

N0 way ! It's t00 early. What d0es he say ?

0nly he kn0ws.

Be nice and get a tranquiliser ready.

H0ld him ! Upsy daisy !

H0ld him steady ! It's all right !

I gave him a bear's d0se. Guys...

If he wakes up, call me 0n my cell.

But 0nly if abs0lutely necessary. I have a...

Kisses !

What the hell ? H0w is it p0ssible ?

Hell0, Mrs Nina. S0rry...

- Y0u scared me t0 death. - Hell0, Mrs Nina !

D0n't play with me, pr0fess0r ! We have an emergency.

It's seri0us.

Shit... I'll be late again. C0me with me, girls !

He's s0und asleep.

He's s0und asleep.

- Put s0mething 0n ! - Y0u're pissing me 0ff.

Is this all right ?

The d0ct0r saw even m0re 0f me.

Even m0re 0f y0u ?

- That's why he is a d0ct0r. - Wh0 ? H0ria ?

H0ria. Y0ur best friend, 0f c0urse.

He's the 0ne wh0 b0ught me from the Agarbiceanu clan.

- H0ria b0ught y0u ? - Didn't y0u kn0w ?

N0.

It was tw0 years ag0, when the m0bsters sh0t Arcasa.

Like a d0g they killed him, f0r a l0usy 50,000 d0llars.

Well... That's life.

Arcasa ! My G0d !

Y0u were my life. My pr0tect0r. My pimp...

0n the b0tt0m 0f which lake are y0u r0tting away with 0ther fish ?

Y0u pr0mised me y0u'd l00k f0r him with army divers.

We'll take care 0f his funeral. We, his girls.

Tatiana, Idiusa, the French girl... Geta Sex Appeal, Mitza...

- Mitza, the bycicle girl ? - N0 ! She wasn't Arcasa's girl.

Maybe she w0rked f0r the Sad0veanu clan.

Bycicle girls are highway girls.

Imagine... We, his girls, all classical ballerinas...

We are n0w the wh0res 0f classical R0manian clans.

B0lintineanu, Sad0veanu, Agarbiceanu.

And all this, f0r 0ur debts !

All, ballerinas. ''The Swans' Lake'', ''The Nut Cracker''...

Really ?

Did y0u all kn0w h0w t0 use... a ''nut'' cracker ?

N0t all 0f us.

Some girls from Balti would know 0nly s0me p0pular dances.

We g0t t0 dance in bars and disc0s. Y0u kn0w h0w this w0rks.

0ne day y0ure s0me0nes fianc�e, the next day y0u're g0ne.

But n0 0ne can take away y0ur skills.

- N0w y0u're talking ! - I meant the ballet !

Yes.

0f c0urse, Mr Tiki, dear. Abs0lutely !

As s00n as I'm d0ne in the c0untry, I'm c0ming t0 the C0mmittee.

Let's h0pe the traffic will be 0K. What influence ?

Y0u're s0mething else, Mr Tiki ! It's all y0u think ab0ut.

By the way... Are the lists ready ?

All right. All the best ! See y0u s00n ! Let's sh0w them !

''0f c0urse, Tiki. Busy in the c0untry.''

Y0u're playing p0ker with the guys.

- H0w d0 I l00k ? - As g00d as new !

Tell me... Y0ur friend, H0ria... Was he like this in high sch00l ?

- What d0 y0u mean ? - I mean, imp0tent.

Are y0u 0ut 0f y0ur mind ?

Senat0r, I kn0w an imp0tent when I see 0ne.

- Are y0u kidding ? - N0t with this kind 0f stuff.

S0, y0u're saying that H0ria... N0thing ?

- Abs0lutely n0thing. He's dead ! - I alm0st can't believe it.

D0 y0u kn0w what he was called in high sch00l ?

- Horica ? - No, not Horica.

He was called ''the father 0f H0ria's child.''

- ''The father 0f H0ria's child !'' - Isn't it a bit l0ng ?

His father was a pr0secut0r. Bef0re the 12th grade,

he sent his s0n t0 w0rk 0ne m0nth 0n a c0nstructi0n site.

- What d0 y0u think happened there ? - S0mething was built.

N0thing was built there.

He met a w0rker there, 0ne called Grassh0pper.

- Why Grassh0pper ? - She was always h0pping ar0und.

- The way y0u d0 when y0u sing. - I d0n't h0p ar0und. I perf0rm.

Grassh0pper made H0ria a man and she g0t pregnant, t00.

It was illegal t0 make an ab0rti0n, s0 she had t0 give birth t0 a child.

- A b0y 0r a girl ? - It d0esn't matter, dear !

But Grassh0pper was given shelter by an 0ld hag.

In c0urt, the 0ld w0man kept yelling h

''Y0ur H0n0ur, H0ria's the father !''

And he wasn't ?

H0ria was t00 afraid 0f his father, t0 admit this.

H0ria was t00 afraid 0f his father, t0 admit this.

But we knew the truth.

Until a sentence was given, we kept calling H0ria...

''The father 0f H0ria's child !''

- N0w y0u get the subtlety... - N0.

G00d f0r y0u !

What did the judge decide ?

They said that H0ria was n0t the father 0f that child.

H0w the hell ?

They tried the case f0r six years.

Meanwhile, the 0ld w0man vanished.

The pr0secut0r was s0rry f0r Grassh0pper

and he helped her give the little girl t0 a f0ster h0me.

H0ria's been l00king f0r her ever since.

- Really ? - Yes.

We've never been felt like this bef0re !

He's the 0ne.

He's the father 0f H0ria's child.

He's the 0ne !

D0n't mind her ! She has an 0bsessi0n. Shut up !

Girls, we have the h0n0ur t0 receive the visit 0f 0ur benefact0r,

Mr Titel Pangica !

He br0ught y0u 0ranges !

Well d0ne !

C0me 0n, thr0w s0me m0re !

Well d0ne ! Y0u g0t it !

Sir... I need an 0ld w0man wh0 might d0 s0me g00d.

- It might be the r0le 0f her life. - What d0es she have t0 d0 ?

She'll help s0me0ne get 0ut 0f tr0uble.

- Girls ! - Yes ?

Wh0 kn0ws t0 get s0me0ne 0ut 0f tr0uble ?

I d0 !

Y0u ! Wh0m w0uld y0u save ?

I w0uld save myself fr0m peeing...

S0 w0uld I !

Let's try in a different way. What's the character's name ?

Aunt Alexandrina.

Ladies,

wh0 wants t0 play the r0le 0f Aunt Alexandrina in a s0ap 0pera ?

I d0 !

- I t0ld y0u. They're dying t0 d0 it. - They sh0uldn't die until then.

Ladies, just a m0ment ! Wh0 d0esn't have any relatives ?

I d0 !

This is why I didn't bec0me a direct0r.

There are t00 many 0ffers.

- Y0u pick s0me0ne ! - Thanks.

Let's g0.

He's the 0ne ! He's the father 0f H0ria's child !

- Auntie... - He's the 0ne !

I'm n0t H0ria. I'm Titel.

- What did you say, Horica ? - Sir...

Wh0 the fuck is Alexandrina ?

I'm Alexandrina !

I have pr00f !

Shut up !

- Y0u will be Alexandrina. - He ch0se me !

The same 0ld st0ries...

- Titel's team l0st again ! - Titel Pangica... What a jerk !

He's a strange guy, but he's 0ne 0f the main sp0ns0rs f0r 0ur party.

Yes...

The newspapers say he als0 sp0ns0rs the 0pp0sing parties.

He's a p0ker player. He's bluffing.

I read he's int0 several businesses.

Y0u read t00 much. He d0esn't want t0 take any risks.

He hasn't finished high sch00l.

This is why he wants t0 make the news.

Senat0r... My l0ve...

I haven't finished high sch00l, either.

Since y0u kn0w h0w t0 d0 certain things, it's n0 big deal.

I want t0 make big news, t00. I want t0 be a star.

Y0u pr0mised me I w0uld present the weather news 0n TV.

I'll talk t0 s0me0ne, dear. If n0t f0r the weather, f0r sp0rts.

Sp0rts, my ass ! I want t0 present the weather ! It's a star maker !

Sp0rts, my ass ! I want t0 present the weather ! It's a star maker !

Mr Titel ! What an h0n0ur !

What's with these s0ur faces ?

They gave m0ney f0r the girls' sh0w and I let them stay here, in fr0nt.

We have fresh ''pr0duce'' fr0m M0sc0w.

Y0u'll see them in an instant.

By the way... Is it true that virgins c0st m0re, n0w ?

What can I d0 ? Mr H0ria wants m0re f0r his c0smetic surgeries.

Are there any pr0blems with 0ur deliveries in Spain ?

D0n't ask ! The girls want t0 make a uni0n. They are crazy !

- I'll sh0w them uni0n. Priest ! - At y0ur 0rders !

Wh0's Mr ''Priest'' ?

Priest, let me intr0duce y0u t0 a great designer.

I kn0w an even greater 0ne. Where am I, L0rd ?

What d0 y0u think ab0ut his cl0thes ?

I can't say, at first glance.

But it's beautifulh ''t0n sur t0n''. Black 0n black. Y0u can't fail.

If y0u want s0mething p0sh, trendier, fancier...

If y0u want s0mething pink, y0u can c0me whenever y0u want.

- I prefer earth c0l0urs. - The Priest is, in fact, Mr Man0le.

- He was expelled fr0m priesth00d. - H0w c0me ?

He had pr0blems with his file as a Secret Service c0llab0rat0r.

He must lay l0w.

Every0ne cr0sses t0 the 0ther side 0nce in their life,

but n0 0ne admits it.

If y0u want t0 c0me f0r a fitting, we can take y0u any day.

- Where's my Parliament suit ? - D0wnstairs. Shall I bring it ?

N0t n0w. Later. If y0u have tr0uble with y0ur ''uni0n'' girls, y0u call...

- Mr Priest. - He'll take care 0f her.

- Thanks in advance, Mr... Man0le. - Did y0u raise s0me d0ugh ?

It was a very bad m0nth.

Saturday, c0me t0 the fashi0n sh0w !

All the senat0rs will be there. I mean, th0se wh0 aren't in pris0n.

G0d f0rbid !

- It's fr0m M0unt Ath0s. - Beautiful !

I d0n't kn0w if I have the time.

What's with this shit ?

I t0ld y0u, it was a very bad m0nth. I had 0nly m0hair. S0 expensive !

Listen, darling, if y0u want t0 have as many h0les as y0u d0 n0w,

this is y0ur last mistake.

- Please f0rgive me. - D0 y0u get me ?

0f c0urse.

What is my sin, L0rd ? Why are y0u tempting me ?

M0ldavia, Transylvania and Wallachia !

- ''My wish and my will'' ! - What ?

It's a hist0rical saying, d0n't b0ther.

I want t0 d0 the weather sh0w. What ab0ut Marcel ?

Marcel wh0 ?

That Marcel ! He was the leader 0f 0ur gr0up.

A hands0me b0y with deep blue eyes...

Had he n0t ch0sen t0 g0 t0 America, in a wreckless m0ment,

he w0uld have made prime-minister 0r even president.

- What is his business there ? - There ?

He's a p00r milli0naire, like s0 many 0thers.

- I d0n't think he was ever 0n CNN. - What's his backgr0und ?

His backgr0und ? He's an architect.

An architect ? Really ?

I'll be damned ! And I... I never saw an architect.

T0day, y0u're g0ing t0 meet 0ne.

Alth0ugh, it's pretty clear... If hes like Horica or Titi Pangica..

I'm a friend 0f H0ria's since first grade. It g0es f0r the 0ther tw0.

P0ker has 0nly strengthened this beautiful friendship.

- What is this ? - H0ria is here. Will y0u get that ?

M0nica !

Daddy's girl ! Y0u l00k s0 fine !

I may be the finest plastic surge0n in all S0uth-East Eur0pe,

but, all in all,

G0d is the best. When He wants t0 create perfecti0n...

Lucky f0r us that He d0esn't make it 0ften and leave it t0 us, surge0ns !

- G0lden hands ! - Right y0u are...

C0me 0n, dear !

- L0ve and peace, my dear friends ! - Hail, emper0r !

I t00k the ambulance and ran away fr0m the h0spital.

Y0u kn0w I've never been late f0r a p0ker game.

0r f0r a l0ve sessi0n...

- Where are the 0thers ? - They sh0uld be here any minute.

Marcel's plane might have a small delay.

I h0pe he w0n't be like last time, when he didn't c0me at all.

F0r y0ur sake, I aband0ned my surgery.

I started it and left it t0 Juni0r.

- What is this ? - Maybe it's Marcel.

I'll get it.

My friend !

Listen... I h0pe M0nica w0n't get 0n 0ur nerves, while we play p0ker.

I can't stand any w0man watching behind my back.

- D0n't y0u like w0men any m0re ? - C0me 0n !

Where is the pleasure, when all their beauty is fake ?

- Hell0 ! - I'm listening.

- What d0 y0u want ? - The d0ct0r f0rg0t his envel0pe.

Are y0u the mailman ? The mailman always rings twice.

The m0vie was 0n in Kishinev. I saw it f0ur times in a day, with Arcasa.

It went 0n and 0n, with n0 break. When I g0t 0ut, I was... satisfied.

Really ?

0bvi0usly, y0u're n0t the mailman. Y0u rang 0nly 0nce.

- I'm Mr V0icu's driver. - I see. Is this it ?

- Y0u'll give it t0 him, w0n't y0u ? - Y0u want a RSVP ?

Bye bye !

What a girl !

Listen... If Claudiu Vitelaru c0mes t0 me,

f0r 10,000 d0llars, I make him Claudia Schiffer.

Did y0u have such a case ?

N0ne.

Had I had such a case, w0uld I play p0ker with y0u in Bucharest ?

I w0uld have 0pened, with Marcel, an 0ffice 0n Fifth Avenue.

C0me here, my dear... This is small change... Charity...

Listen ! C0uld we give the driver s0mething t0 eat ?

- S0me caviar ? - 0r red r0e... He'll eat anything.

But give him s0me bread ! Bread is essential, f0r a R0manian.

D0n't y0u eavesdr0p !

This driver 0f mine is 5 f00t 3, but has a huge dick !

He's the 0nly 0ne wh0 d0esn't want me t0 cut it 0r make it l0nger.

What are we drinking here ?

Let's see...

I like it.

What d0 y0u want ? Caviar 0r red r0e ?

All my life, I've eaten green r0e. I'm c0l0r blind, lady.

I mess up c0l0urs.

Are these ambulances fully equipped ?

- Y0u w0uldn't kn0w. - H0w ab0ut y0u ?

- What ab0ut me ? - H0ld 0n t0 this tray...

Are y0u... well equipped ?

I'd like t0 see 0ne 0n the inside. I've never been in an ambulance.

Think ab0ut it ! I was the first t0 use silic0n implants in R0mania.

That material was sent by Marcel, wasn't it ?

That's right. They reached the cust0m and they didn't have a price f0r them

It's true. It was Christmas. I said they were... jelly.

The cust0ms 0fficers, as usual, asked f0r a cart0n 0f th0se,

t0 put it under the Christmas tree, f0r the kids.

S0 ?

I gave 0ne t0 each 0f them. Marcel had sent them f0r free.

The little buggers must still be chewing 0n them.

It was hard t0 c0nvince the first sad w0man

t0 d0 s0mething f0r her breasts.

I made her tw0 tits... like this !

And n0w, they're bringing all their friends and business is b00ming.

B00ming ! I must tell y0u, had it n0t been f0r Marcel, I w0uldn't be here.

Marcel helped us all. With0ut th0se 20,000 d0llars fr0m him, in April '91

I w0uld have been an an0nym0us acc0untant, G0d kn0ws where.

Wait a minute ! I knew there were 80,000.

N0t at all ! Y0u mean the 0ther 60,000 ?

- Right ! - He gave me th0se much later.

In September. I was already Senat0r.

What ab0ut him ? With what m0ney did he started in America ?

With 0ur m0ney !

But we didn't have any m0ney, bef0re '89 !

What ab0ut the m0ney he w0n at p0ker, f0r s0 many years ?

- Th0se were n0t m0ney. - We w0rked f0r it !

N0t like the m0ney we make n0w. They were w0rth s0mething.

F0r s0 many years, he didn't want t0 make it up f0r it. He's afraid.

Y0u kn0w what ? What if he's g0ing t0 win again ?

H0w c0uld he win again ?

In my c0untry, with my p0lice f0rce, with my Secret Services,

y0u say he's g0ing t0 win again ?

Y0u've bec0me a c0mplete ass, Senat0r.

What d0es all 0f this matter ?

It d0es ! I d0n't like t0 l0se. I want t0 see him in fr0nt 0f me

and t0 hear him say h ''Y0u win. Take it all.''

I want t0 f0rget all the humiliati0n I've taken fr0m him.

What are y0u talking ab0ut ? What humiliati0n ?

D0 y0u kn0w that he lent me the m0ney with n0 interest ?

D0 y0u kn0w he never asked f0r it ? H0w much l0nger can I take it ?

A man can be t00 humiliated !

If he's g0ing t0 ask f0r his m0ney, y0u think y0u'd get rid 0f this ?

I w0n't pay him back. Fuck him !

Listen... D0 y0u think he w0uld ask f0r his m0ney back ?

I d0n't kn0w. My G0d...

What if he asked me t0 return all that silic0n ?

D0n't w0rry ! He w0n't ask us t0 return anything.

Why d0 y0u think we play p0ker ? I'll tell y0u, Senat0r...

We want t0 see if we are still lucky.

Each 0ne 0f us c0uld make m0re m0ney h

I w0uld c0nsult a patient, Titel w0uld stage a r0bbery...

Y0u c0uld make a call. It's the easiest f0r y0u, 0f us all, t0 d0 it.

''Hell0 ?''

What are y0u talking ab0ut ? Are y0u making fun 0f me ?

During the Rev0luti0n,

y0u stayed h0me and watched TV, while I risked my life.

D0esn't this c0unt ?

It c0unts, yes. It's been like this all al0ng.

This is why y0u've c0me a l0ng way. This is why y0u d0n't pay any taxes.

L00k at the time ! Why is this idi0t 0f Titel late again ?

He c0mes fr0m Pipera, n0t New Y0rk.

Why d0 y0u call him an idi0t ?

Because he is 0ne, that's why. Didn't y0u hear ?

- He b0ught himself a s0ccer team. - He's n0t the 0nly 0ne.

- I understand him. - Is it w0rth it ?

0f c0urse it is.

He appears 0n TV every day, the ad's f0r free, y0u d0 p0litics...

Anyway, Titel needed that.

I find it harder and harder t0 hide his criminal files.

S00n, I'll have t0 leave him.

See ? I'm much better 0ff like this. N0 0ne can take my scalpel away.

Even if I get Parkins0n's disease, I can still give advice.

Titel...

- Titel ! - S0rry !

That's all. Let's g0 !

D0n't st0p !

Why did y0u leave the d00rs 0pen ? Any0ne may find us here.

- What's with all these guns ? - Are y0u afraid 0f s0mething ?

Yes. I'm afraid Marcel will take 0ur m0ney again.

Did y0u teach him a less0n ? I t0ld y0u I want t0 finish him 0ff.

Why w0uld y0u want t0 kill him ?

Did he humiliate y0u with a c0uple 0f grand ?

N0. He 0nly gave me 20,000 square.

Americans say h ''D0n't ask h0w I made my first 5,000 d0llars.''

R0manians say; ''D0n't ask me h0w I made my last 5 milli0n.''

''I have papers f0r the first 5.'' Hard times, isn't it ?

- Really ? - Tell us what y0u did with the m0ney

- D0 y0u really want t0 kn0w ? - Everything !

I'll tell y0u, then.

I b0ught myself a V0lkswagen with the first 3,000.

- It was a l0usy van. - What ab0ut the rest ?

I invested the rest. I b0ught 300 statues 0f Lenin. Busts.

I b0ught them fr0m a wareh0use, when Dej was president.

I b0ught them fr0m a wareh0use, when Dej was president.

I put red lights in their eyes, I made them small legs

and s0ld them as garden gn0mes.

I reinvested all my pr0fit in Marx and Engels busts.

This wasn't g00d.

- H0w c0me ? - I wanted t0 sell them in Germany.

And ?

The Eastern Germans rec0gnized them.

- What d0 y0u mean ? - It was easy.

After 45 years 0f C0mmunist rule, they were dreaming ab0ut them.

A fell0w in Dresden t0ld meh

''D0n't tell me these tw0 bearded guys had a r0le in Sn0w-White.''

S0 I had t0 sell them in H0lland.

Let's deal s0me cards, see if we're lucky !

C0me 0n ! While Titel is dealing, I'll tell y0u a j0ke, t0 kill y0u !

- A drunk fell0w... - We kn0w it !

I can pr0ve h0w I made my first 5,000 d0llars. I als0 payed taxes.

What a f00l !

Horica, where would we be, if we all payed taxes ?

- Cards. - 0ne.

Tw0.

I h0pe Marcel is c0ming this time.

Yes, he is. I talked t0 him bef0re he left f0r the airp0rt.

- 20 milli0n. - Check.

- What d0 y0u have ? - N0thing. N0t even 0ne pair.

- Dead man's hand. - Three eights. I g0t y0u.

Let's see Marcel's hand.

Straight t0 the Queen. Served !

He's winning even when he's n0t here.

Listen... Why d0 y0u keep y0ur hat 0n ?

If y0u want, I'll take it 0ff.

I never leave with0ut cash 0n me. Y0u may be a great patri0t,

but y0u never kn0w when y0u have t0 leave the c0untry.

Let's take 0ut s0me cash, t00. It will be m0re fun.

- Right y0u are ! - Listen, Titel...

Y0u're wearing y0ur tennis sh0es, s0 y0u can run fast. Right ?

I'm exercising. If they take away my f0rtune, I'll sell sh0es again.

Anyway, I w0re these last time I beat Marcel.

Really ?

Y0u beat him, my ass ! I remember.

Y0u w0n the first r0und and rushed h0me

where m0mmy was waiting f0r y0u with dinner. We were playing h00kie.

Give s0mething f0r the table, Horica.

S0rry !

- I still w0n 12 Lei. It's s0mething. - C0me 0n ! This is n0 gain.

It's still s0mething.

- I triple the ante. - Make it nine times m0re.

I call.

- Hell0, lady ! - It's s0 beautiful up here !

My helmet ! Give it right n0w !

- My, y0u are beautiful ! - Y0u naughty b0y !

C0me 0n !

Senat0r, I see y0u're still wearing a suit and a tie.

If my c0untry needs me all 0f a sudden,

I must be ready, mustn't I ?

The c0untry needed y0u 0nce, but y0u c0uldn't find y0ur sweater.

It was with all the 0ther washing stuff.

Y0u said this was y0ur big failure.

Then, the c0untry called an0ther 0ne.

- He's g0ne n0w. He was s0 feisty ! - He c0uldn't have. He had n0 guts.

- All right... Guys, I want 200. - N0.

T00 much...

Horica, I heard the old lady has returned fr0m the dead.

Which 0ld lady ?

The witness fr0m y0ur trial. I heard she's fine n0w.

If y0u want, tell me, and she'll be dead again.

Can y0u d0 it ?

''I can't understand why y0u d0n't say my name...''

''But I can tell by y0ur eyes that y0u are t00 shy t0 d0 it...''

Clau... A f0rmer lady is l00king f0r y0u.

S0rry t0 interrupt... Senat0r, I have a surprise f0r y0u.

- The laundry 0perati0n is here. - What laundry 0perati0n ?

I have an ec0-business. Y0u said y0u want t0 ''wash'' 0ne milli0n.

- Right. - C0me with me.

Here she ish 0ne 0ld aunt,

aband0ned in a nursing h0me in Balta Alba.

My nephew !

I d0n't have any aunt.

Y0u ungrateful b0y ! D0n't y0u rec0gnize me ? Bastard !

It's I, y0ur aunt Alexandrina !

I was nice when I br0ught y0u candy !

C0me here, my dear ! I want t0 h0ld y0u in my arms !

- Shut up, lady ! - I'll be damned if I get any 0f this

Better f0r her t0 die, than y0u.

- Die ? Me ? - Shut up, lady !

''Lady'' ? Lady 0r aunt ? Y0u're driving me crazy.

D0n't upset me !

If aunt Alexandrina dies and leaves me 0ne milli0n, is it bad ?

- H0w can she have 0ne milli0n ? - It's my pensi0n, dear !

Her pensi0n...

- Y0u're kidding. Will it w0rk ? - Why sh0uld we be the f00ls ?

Were y0u a member 0f the Rev0luti0n ?

0n the c0ntrary. A hair-dresser !

0n the c0ntrary. A hair-dresser !

When did y0u hear any0ne asking the dead where he has m0ney fr0m ?

Y0u get 0ne milli0n, I talk t0 V0l0dea and he'll set her right.

I mean, we'll get y0u l00king c00l.

0f c0urse !

- And then, it's G0d's business. - Shall I read the will 0nce m0re ?

There's n0 need. I kn0w what I'm leaving behind. And t0 wh0m.

Thanks a l0t, lady. I mean, aunt.

- I'm very grateful. - Y0u'll have t0 wait a l0ng time.

I've decided t0 live a hundred years.

- M0re 0r less... - M0re.

- ... 0r less. - What are y0u talking ab0ut ?

Shut up, lady ! Take her away !

Let's g0 ! Auntie, sit here, 0n the electrical chair.

The girls fr0m the resting h0use will be thrilled

when they see this jewel !

- H0w's 0ur great writer ? - Wh0 ?

- The great writer... - He's a bit anxi0us. He's n0t well.

N0t well ? Then, all is well.

Man0le, what is it ? I raise y0u...

What shall we d0 with the 0ld lady ? She's restless.

V0l0dea will take care 0f her. I d0n't want any m0re m0ney.

Take care 0f my team ! I want them t0 win the champi0nship.

G0d help us !

S0... All y0ur life, y0u're waiting f0r a King in y0ur r0yal flush,

and y0u get a priest f0r y0ur funeral.

Priests have their r0le, t00. Marcel gave me Man0le.

I t00k him because he's a hard drinker.

He's the last t0 g0 under the table.

With a signed c0ntract... After he gave them the blessing...

If y0u have 0ur party's blessing, why d0 y0u need an0ther ?

0ne day y0u rule, the next day, y0u're g0ne. 0nly G0d is f0rever.

C0ngratulati0ns, dear ! N0w y0u have faith !

Horica, sh0w me 0ne p0ker player

wh0 d0esn't have faith, and I'll eat him.

Dear b0ys, listen t0 meh life is a p0ker game. That's all.

- What a deep th0ught ! - 0ne card.

S0me said life is a game 0f ''Sevens''.

Tw0.

Th0se wh0 believed it are n0w six feet under at Ghencea.

- 300 eur0. - Take it fr0m y0ur retired f0lks !

And my patients. Listen t0 me. The cl0ser y0u get t0 y0ur death,

the m0re y0u want t0 live.

I had patients wh0 w0uld have gladly give their hand... Y0u cut !

... 0nly t0 see their end c0me.

Hands with gangrene and 0sthe0p0r0sis,

I can give them by the d0zen.

Gangrene, 0sthe0p0r0sis... Titel, dear, y0u're making pr0gress.

- Where d0 y0u read all this stuff ? - In the almanachs...

I kn0w m0re than y0u

ab0ut the diseases that cann0t be cured in pris0n.

D0 y0u have 0ne 0f these diseases ?

I have them all.

- I'm afraid 0f cl0sed spaces. - This is the w0rst 0f all.

Well, well... Y0u're b0th s0 clever !

When we were kids and y0u were 0ut playing s0ccer,

I was studying b0nes !

When we were g0ing t0 see the girls, y0u were a big wanker !

Y0u're wr0ng. I never missed a visit t0 the girls.

- Y0u and Santa... - What ?

He never missed a visit there, t00.

- What d0 y0u mean ? - N0thing ! What's with y0u ?

Y0u, b0th, had less w0men than me !

Yes, it's true. D0n't get excited ! We had less w0men than y0u.

Y0u were the m0st active 0f us f0ur.

- What ?! - The father 0f H0ria's child !

It wasn't my child.

- Yes. - D0ct0r, please c0me right away !

I t0ld y0u t0 call me 0nly f0r an emergency.

It's a disaster. Please, c0me ! We're l0sing him.

All right. I'm c0ming.

I'm s0rry, guys, but I must leave f0r an emergency.

Duty g0es first.

- But I'll be back. - The father 0f H0ria's child !

Let's g0 !

Are y0u fr0m Calabria ?

I'm fr0m Breaza.

Then, why d0 they call y0u ''the Calabrese'' ?

I'm an 0rphan. Everyb0dy kn0ws me all t00 well.

B0y, are y0u 0ut 0f y0ur mind ?

Up t0 n0w, y0u ign0red the red lights,

and n0w y0u st0p at the green light ?

- I'm c0l0r blind. - H0w did y0u get y0ur licence ?

- I never t0ld any0ne. - Where did y0u get y0ur licence ?

In Pitesti.

Get g0ing, then ! It's green.

What if s0me 0ther c0l0r blind guy c0mes fr0m the 0ther side ?

C0me 0n ! I'm in a hurry.

The w0rld's upside d0wn !

Why leave a p0ker game f0r an emergency ?

It's as if y0u 0rganised a bid, with n0 c0mmissi0n.

We have t0 earn 0ur living. I c0uld d0 business with the state

and I c0uld sacrifice myself,

f0r y0ur sake and the sake 0f 0thers like y0u.

D0 y0u think it's easy f0r me t0 try and remember which party I'm in ?

This wasn't a pr0blem. Y0u always were in charge.

I like t0 serve my c0untry and I can' d0 it unless my party rules.

- The 0pp0sing parties suck. - True.

Y0u were a banker back then.

- Yes. - Until it went br0ke.

I had t0 dress pr0perly, back then, tie and all.

There was n0 air c0nditi0ning back then, at the bank.

- But there was m0ney. - Indeed. I did it all f0r my friends

If y0u give me 100,000 eur0 t0day, I'll give y0u a milli0n in 0ne year.

Are y0u seri0us ? Stay where y0u are !

Y0ur debts will be f0rg0tten 0r recalculated... Y0u'll get al0ng.

Mr Agarbiceanu, Ill read you y0ur statement.

''Bandages will be taken 0ff up0n my request.''

- ''I undertake all risks inv0lved.'' - I d0n't understand.

''I undertake all risks inv0lved !'' Sign here, please ! Here...

Here y0u g0... Thank y0u.

Let's see n0w.

I made y0u a brand new face.

N0t even y0ur m0ther will rec0gnize y0u.

- 0ur b0ss' m0ther died l0ng ag0. - May she rest in peace.

Tell me y0ur 0pini0n. H0w d0 I l00k ?

B0ss, y0u l00k like a peach tree in bl0ss0m.

Mr Agarbiceanu,

I think we may have hurried with the bandage rem0val.

I w0uld have let it m0re, s0 that y0ur skin may stretch a bit.

It sh0uld stretch, yes... Dear, I need a mirr0r !

I want a mirr0r !

Mr Agarbiceanu, we d0n't have any mirr0rs in this h0spital.

0ur last patient had a heart attack when he saw himself.

If y0u d0n't have any mirr0r, give me a metal 0bject !

A raz0r blade 0r a sp00n ! I feel like I'm in pris0n.

0ne m0ment ! D0n't get upset ! All will be well.

Tell me what y0u think !

- I feel like I kn0w this fell0w. - It's just an illusi0n.

- Y0ur face is abs0lutely new. - I can't believe it !

I'm the spitting image 0f him.

Well d0ne ! D0ct0r, thank y0u s0 much f0r everything.

- Here ! I kn0w y0u l0se at p0ker. - Y0u didn't have t0. Thank y0u.

Well d0ne ! Thank y0u. It is all settled, then.

Y0u keep M0na !

If she d0esn't steal fr0m y0u, she must make 500 eur0 a day.

If she steals y0u, she's a criminal ! Please... I'll g0 n0w. Thank y0u.

- It's t00 much. - This is f0r y0ur luck.

Thank y0u very much. Please, take care 0f him.

G00dbye ! All the best ! I have t0 leave.

- It's all right, b0ss. - What d0 y0u think ?

These C0mmunists knew h0w t0 live. Bl00dy bastards...

We'll learn h0w t0 live well, t00. We have all the time.

These days, the new candidates will be elected.

We have anticipated electi0ns, then.

S0, y0u heard it, t00.

Y0u kn0w h0w much m0ney the electi0ns c0st me, last time.

- I still have t0 put m0ney back. - Have I ever asked y0u f0r anything

N0. Tell me... Will y0u help me ?

Have I ever let y0u d0wn, Claudiu ?

What did y0u say when I asked y0u f0r my first credit ?

10o/o. Right ?

This was y0ur c0mmissi0n back then. Y0u played it r0ugh.

I'd still d0 it, but there are n0 m0re state-0wned banks.

Y0u br0ught them all t0 bankruptcy.

I l0ve her when she sings ! She's ad0rable !

This is, 0fficially, y0ur mistress. It's the first sign 0f 0ld age.

Y0u d0n't kn0w what this kid can d0.

This kid ? She's 27. I kn0w her fr0m s0me place.

Maybe fr0m that TV sh0w, ''Kids say weird things''.

She's a sweetheart. And she sings like n0 0ne else !

Y0u're s0 y0ung, pappy...

Yes, this is him.

Hell0, Mr Vicepresident.

0f c0urse. I'm 0n my way already. G00dbye !

0ne minute...

I've been called t0 the party's 0ffice. It's n0t g00d.

The Calabrese will give y0u a car.

H0w can I help y0u, Mr Pangica ?

What ?

Make it a quick 0ne. I'm in a hurry.

Champagne and s0da !

- I d0n't like rude men. - Y0u d0n't... But I like wh0res.

Y0u damned slut !

N0w y0u're a bl0nde and y0u did a silic0n j0b,

and y0u think I didn't rec0gnize y0u ! Y0u bl00dy wh0re...

I've felt s0 many fake tits ! Wh0 paid f0r y0ur tits, wh0re ?

Do you think Aurica invested in his girls ?

It's n0t true ! I was never his girl !

He made me have surgery and fake tits !

Y0ur fianc� is walking 0n my nerves.

I kn0w that, here, y0u eat n0thing but caviar, but, 0nce in a while,

y0u have t0 taste shit. ''P0ur la b0nne b0uche''...

I understand. I see y0u kn0w French.

I studied marketing in the 0b0r market.

S0 did I.

Under tract0rs, inside trucks 0r in meat freasers.

Where are y0u, Arcasa ?

Wh0's g0ing t0 defend us ? Wh0's g0ing t0 beat us ?

I w0rked 0nly with pr0fessi0nals.

''Nature itself attended my wedding.''

''The sun and the m00n held my wedding cr0wn.''

H0w nice ! The ''Mi0rita'' balad...

Had this been my subject at the entrance exam, in faculty,

I'd have a j0b at the Ministry 0f Culture. 0r ''Fefeleaga'', that n0vel.

Let's get t0 a m0re r0mantic subject. Let's fuck !

Let's ! But I want t0 ask y0u... I want t0 be 0n TV.

Wh0 the hell w0uld want t0 see this 0n TV ?

D0n't be a f00l ! I want t0 d0 the weather sh0w.

- Shut up and let's get laid ! - Let's d0 it 0n the p0ker table.

Let's put s0me cake there !

Like in that m0vie with the mailman !

The mailman always rings 0nce ! 0nly thieves ring twice !

They want t0 make sure they leave with all the m0ney !

Are y0u the new b0ss of the Agarbiceanu clan ?

D0n't bug me with all that literature stuff !

Cake !

I feel this is the beginning 0f a beautiful friendship.

My G0d !

Hell0, guys !

I'm s0rry, Senat0r.

It's me !

- Y0u teach her h0w t0 play p0ker... - N0. I teach her ''Sevens''.

It w0rks.

- H0w was the result 0f y0ur surgery - I have g0lden hands.

Y0ur turn.

- Where is Claudiu ? - At the party's 0ffice.

- Is he in tr0uble ? - N0.

0n the eve 0f the electi0ns, he fears f0r his j0b a bit.

What pleasure w0uld he have in kn0wing he'll be elected f0r sure ?

Y0u're kidding. He t0ld me he w0uld be reelected, f0r sure.

Y0u d0n't play with a p00r girl's future, tell her shes y0ur fianc�e,

when y0u're n0t sure if y0u have y0ur 0wn place.

D0n't w0rry ! He'll be reelected. He t0ld me.

- Are y0u sure ? - Titel will help him. Right ?

D0n't be s0 sure !

At this level, y0u must be full 0f gifts, t0 succeed.

S0rry. Yes ?

Yes, I0n.

I'm listening.

What d0 y0u mean ? They changed the play ? Are y0u crazy ?

I have rec0rdings 0f every sh0w...

Each time I paid the ''artists''.

The ''direct0r'' als0 wants s0mething... H0w much ?

N0. H0w hard sh0uld the play be ?

Y0u're s0 greedy... 0K. See y0u at the bank.

N0. At the p00r guy's bank.

I have t0 g0, dear friends. S0me animals are waiting f0r me.

They miss me.

Be nice !

If it's a b0y, call him Titel.

- What if it's a girl ? - Send her 0n the streets !

- Calabrese ! - Yes !

- Set the big cann0ns ! - Where are we g0ing ?

We're g0ing hunting. Y0u g0 with them !

- What's the hurry ? - They'll end up t0 us 0r t0 y0u.

M0nica... I am y0ur father.

- What's with this j0ke ? - Trust me... I am y0ur father.

Am I the daughter 0f the father 0f H0ria's child ?

That's right. I treated y0ur m0ther s0 badly, and I've been cursed.

Since then, I c0uldn't make l0ve t0 any w0man, f0r fear 0f incest.

In every w0man, I'd see y0u, my dear.

What are y0u talking ab0ut ?

- Are y0u making fun 0f me ? - N0 !

If y0u 0nly knew h0w I felt that night at the disc0,

when I saw y0u curling ar0und that p0le ! ''She's mine !'', I said...

Y0u can't imagine h0w much I l0ved y0ur m0ther.

It was the l0ve 0f a 16 year' 0ld b0y wh0 had a wh0re f0r the first time.

D0n't talk like this ab0ut my m0ther !

I didn't kn0w her, but I respect her.

Please, f0rgive me !

When I see y0u h0p ar0und,

t0 me, it seems the m0st beautiful dance.

I'm n0t h0pping ar0und. I perf0rm.

When I hired y0u at the h0spital and saw y0u didn't have any father

and that y0u had A-2 bl00d type, I saidh ''Y0u're my little girl !''

A quarter 0f pe0ple 0n Earth have this bl00d type.

Y0u're right. But, see... Y0u use diminutives, like y0ur m0ther

''Little perfume'', ''little pantyh0se'', ''little dear''...

Every w0man uses them. Things seem cheaper like this.

I als0 th0ught ab0ut it. But, see... Y0ur name is M0nica.

What d0es this mean ?

The 0ld lady at the trial was als0 named M0nica.

H0w c0uld an 0ld lady be called M0nica ?

0ld ladies were 0nce y0ung, t00.

Is this all pr00f that I am y0ur daughter ?

My h0pping ar0und, the diminutives, my bl00d type and the hag's name ?

- There is 0ne m0re thing. - What ?

Y0u have this m0le, like y0ur m0ther.

St0p it ! Y0u and y0ur s0ap 0pera !

What ab0ut n0w ? D0 I still l00k like my m0ther ?

What ab0ut n0w ?

D0n't y0u kn0w that we, M0ld0van girls, have this charm ?

M0les ? Y0u bl00dy pervert ! I cann0t be y0ur daughter.

First 0f all, my name isn't M0nica. This is my star name. I'm Evd0kia.

And my bl00d type isn't A-2. Y0u and y0ur shitty equipment !

I have the 0 type.

- Really ? - Yes.

This means y0u're n0t my daughter.

I'm n0t y0ur daughter.

But, if y0u want us t0 have a g00d time, give me 100 eur0 !

I never paid w0men f0r sex. It was the 0ther way r0und.

- G0 t0 hell, y0u wh0re ! - Y0u g0 t0 hell !

Y0u f00l ! H0w c0uld y0u be s0 wr0ng ?

- Where's the elephant ? - He's dead.

H0w c0me ? And y0u didn't tell me !

We didn't want t0 upset y0u.

- He c0mmitted suicide. - H0w ?

He went 0n hunger strike.

Unbelievable !

When we're thr0ugh, remind me t0 d0nate them an0ther elephant.

Unbelievable...

Have s0me bagels ! F0r the s0ul 0f the dead...

They're fresh. Give me a handkerchief !

- D0n't y0u have s0me with salt ? - N0. He had high bl00d pressure.

I understand y0u made up y0ur mind.

What d0 y0u think ? What are the prices 0n the market ?

300,000 eur0 f0r a Deputy's place and 600,000 f0r a Senat0r's place.

H0w c0me ? Yesterday they c0st 150,000 and 250,000.

That was yesterday. The lists are settled.

It's expensive t0 change them.

If this guy changes the C0nstituti0n and we'll have anticipated electi0ns,

we'll see 0ur m0ney back ?

D0 y0u think we're a supermarket, t0 give y0ur m0ney back ?

Wh0 can wage f0r the Big B0ss's whims ?

D0 y0u want t0 be a Deputy 0r a Senat0r ?

D0 I l00k like a Deputy ?

Bills 0f 20 ? C0uldn't y0u find smaller 0nes ?

Yes, bills 0f 100, with flu0rescent paint 0n them. Y0u want th0se ?

C0me 0n ! I was j0king. Let me talk t0 the party's 0ffice.

Hell0 ? Mr Tiki ?

Everything's set up. Tell Mr Tavi that Mr...

Pangica.

He signed his adhesi0n. Yes, he als0 dep0sited the pr0gramme.

It's written in paragraphs 0f 20 w0rds each...

I see.

Mr Tiki asks if y0u want t0 have a certain district.

Mr Tiki, anything g0es. I serve my c0untry in every way I can.

G00dbye ! Y0u filthy animal...

Girl, I t0ld y0u that p0litics is a jungle !

- I th0ught p0litics is a wh0re. - Right !

A wh0re wh0 walks in the jungle.

Senat0r ! What d0 y0u c0mment ? Can y0u make a statement ?

Can y0u tell us anything ab0ut what happened ? Senat0r ?

Yes. G0 ahead.

I see.

G00dbye !

W0nderful ! Y0u t0uched my heart.

All this, as a respectful tribute t0 y0u, b0ss.

L00k at p00r Vladimir !

The guys with sch0larships are back fr0m H0lland.

- Fucking respect ! - Unbelievable !

Listen, Calabrese... Never f0rget where y0u're c0ming fr0m.

- Right y0u are, b0ss. - Unbelievable...

Let him c0me. Get the men ready !

D0 y0u remember me ?

0f c0urse ! I've always been a big fan 0f y0urs.

Limba, Ismail, Gica Hau-hau...

Y0u had s0 many beautiful r0les !

They used t0 make awes0me m0vies. N0t anym0re. Pity !

- D0n't y0u rec0gnize my v0ice ? - D0n C0rle0ne...

''My s0n, c0me here ! I have s0me black market cigarettes.''

I always liked culture.

Mr Jean, y0u want me t0 sp0ns0r y0u 0r take a trip t0 M0unt Ath0s ?

We might d0 ''The G0dfather 4''. I'll tell C0pp0la t0 bring 4 milli0n,

I'll bring an0ther 4, the Nati0nal Cinema C0uncil, an0ther 14.

Y0u cheeky m0nkey ! I d0n't need y0ur m0ney.

I came f0r my due m0ney.

Y0u f0rg0t s0mething h I am Agarbiceanu !

Agarbiceanu ! This is wh0 I am ! Get it ?

Ion Agarbiceanu ? The writer himself ?

What a great accent, b0ss !

I'm y0ur b0ss.

And all these g00ns y0u have there...

I'm their b0ss, t00.

Which 0ne 0f y0u is an act0r ? This guy says he is the b0ss.

Calabrese, tell me, d0es he seem like the b0ss ?

Y0u're much nicer, b0ss.

Nice, Mr Jean ! I alm0st b0ught it.

This is why we l0ve and appreciate y0u.

Well d0ne !

These are true pr0fessi0nals.

Y0u writer ! These are amateurs.

Fr0m n0w 0n, it's 0ver.

Youre not Agarbiceanu. G0 back t0 C0sta Rica !

- G0 ! - Y0u g0 t0 hell !

- What's the matter with y0u ? - We're staying.

We can't reject his 0ffer.

Titel, I'll be back.

I'll destr0y y0u, I swear !

G0 !

- B0ss... Y0u are a genius. - Maybe that's h0w y0u see me.

Such gener0sity !

Y0u think pe0ple appreciate this ?

N0 0ne d0es this anym0re, Calabrese.

I see y0u're s0rry.

That's life, Calabrese. S00ner 0r later, we all betray s0me0ne.

New b0sses f0r a new age. 0nly G0d is f0rever.

Is that what y0u think ?

What the hell, Horica ? Y0u c0uld have t0ld me.

I alm0st had a heart attack.

Y0u never asked anything. Y0u t0ld me 0nly t0 change his face.

H0w is he ?

He's the spitting image 0f Jean C0nstantin. Well d0ne !

- G0lden hands... - Where's that daughter 0f y0urs ?

- She's n0t my daughter. - Y0u said that she had that m0le...

She can put it wherever she wants.

And I th0ught I sinned with her !

- G00d f0r y0u ! - Thanks.

- Listen, Titel... - Please !

Now Im Senator Pangica.

S0, y0u sh0wed him well ! Y0u betrayed him !

My best friend ! L0rd ! I am such a scum !

T0 hell with him ! He wasn't b0rn a Senat0r.

It w0n't be g00d f0r him. If he says s0mething stupid 0n TV,

all media will get crazy.

This is why media stinks.

Listen, d0ct0r...

Have y0u ever th0ught 0f being minister ? F0r a few days...

Have I ever th0ught ?

I've always dreamt 0f being minister, Titel. Wh0 the hell w0uldn't ?

I w0uld fire certain h0spital managers,

then I w0uld hire them back...

I w0uld be the 0ne t0 decide which ambulances t0 buy f0r the h0spital.

I w0uld be c0urted by V0lkswagen, Mercedes, Ferrari...

Ferrari ? They d0n't have ambulances.

It d0esn't matter. I f0rgive them.

If they see we have the m0ney, they'll make s0me, t00.

But, first 0f all, I'll quit drinking.

Starting t0m0rr0w.

- Is the meeting 0ver ? - H0w c0uld y0u ?

H0w c0uld y0u ?

Y0u'll burn in hell, y0u bl00dy f00l !

Here's s0me bad news, my man. Hell and heaven just merged.

It's called Purgat0ry Ltd.

This idi0t t00k my place in the Senate.

I 0ffered y0u a place in the H0use 0f Deputies. Why didn't y0u take it ?

Y0u take it ! Y0u're new !

This isn't g0ing t0 w0rk. The party will say n0 !

Which party ? D0 y0u kn0w which side are y0u 0n ?

L00k wh0's giving me less0ns ! The w0rm seller fr0m 0b0r market !

I've d0ne s0 much f0r y0u ! Y0u never had t0 pay any taxes !

Y0u didn't d0 it f0r free. I always had t0 pay f0r it.

It w0uld have been cheaper t0 pay taxes.

This serves me well ! I c0vered f0r y0u and hid all y0ur criminal files.

- Y0u didn't d0 it with the last 0ne. - This is why I'm n0t a p0litician.

N0 0ne can take the scalpel away fr0m me.

The higher 0ur living standard, the bigger the b00bs !

Tell me ! Why did y0u d0 it ?

T0 gain immunity, y0u dumb ass !

Is it s0 hard t0 understand ? If tw0 pr0secut0rs g0 after me,

I'll have six lawyers t0 defend me. If they up the ante with tw0,

I'll raise and have eight m0re lawyers.

That's the game. Life's a p0ker game.

- But y0u d0n't get it, y0u idi0t. - I'm g0ing t0 destr0y y0u.

Y0u w0n't have any immunity, as l0ng as I can d0 s0mething !

- Y0u, destr0y me ? Y0u w0rm ! - Little w0rm...

- H0w d0 y0u think y0u'll d0 that ? - S00n, the electi0ns are c0ming.

- I'll thr0w y0ur ass t0 the media ! - And I'll thr0w y0ur ass t0 the d0gs

Y0u f0rget y0u've been ph0t0graphed naked and drunk as a skunk,

running after the waitresses ? I paid 30 grand t0 get the ph0t0s !

- What ab0ut the c0c0a ? - What c0c0a ?

The l0an fr0m the state ! He bribed s0me0ne, t0 get 100 t0ns 0f c0c0a,

he s0ld it and t00k the m0ney, and never gave the c0c0a back !

- I didn't bribe any0ne. I paid y0u. - What did y0u pay me ?

I gave y0u the m0ney ! Y0u made me write a request !

''Given the seri0us s0cial turm0il caused by the c0c0a...''

Watch y0ur language ! Y0u can't put ''c0c0a'' in the genitive case.

Whatever !

- Y0u bribed 0fficials f0r that c0c0a - Are y0u talking ab0ut me ?

I gave y0u the m0ney ! Y0u sh0uld have given them as bribe !

Did y0u ? If n0t...

I'm s0rry, but I have a tape 0f y0u bribing s0me0ne.

Are y0u 0ut 0f y0ur mind ? What tape ? I wasn't even there.

Listen...

Why d0 y0u think there are s0 many film direct0rs in R0mania ?

Any 0f them can edit such a film.

Did y0u d0 such a thing ?

If y0u did, y0u are w0rse than me. I'll kill y0u.

Wait ! C0me 0n, cut it 0ut !

I w0n't kill y0u. I'll put a M0ld0van d0 it, f0r 5,000 eur0s.

But y0u're n0t w0rth it. A S0mali will d0 it f0r 10 meal tickets.

Y0u kn0w what's funny ? I als0 have an edited tape.

It's made by these y0ung direct0rs.

There, y0u take m0ney f0r a bid.

What d0 y0u say n0w ?

Y0u c0uld swap tapes, like tw0 m0vie g0ers.

D0 y0u want us t0 swap tapes ? I'll give y0u the ph0t0s as a b0nus.

I'm n0t making any swap.

I have immunity, while y0u are h0ping f0r it.

If y0u make such a scandal, the party will take y0u 0ut 0f the list,

and he'll be a dead man !

- What's wr0ng with y0u ? - I'm an epileptic.

D0ct0r, l00k ! I'm an epileptic !

I'm n0t resp0nsible f0r my acti0ns !

Sh00t me !

Free me fr0m the nightmare I've been living f0r s0 many years !

- Sh00t me ! - N0... Titel, d0n't !

Please !

Please...

Titel, d0n't !

Please...

C0me 0n... Settle d0wn, guys...

D0 y0u think it's easy t0 be a Senat0r ?

D0 y0u think it's easy t0 keep up with the 0thers ?

If it's trendy t0 have a villa in Snag0v 0r M0nte Carl0, y0u d0 it.

If s0me0ne buys himself a Bentley, y0u get it, t00.

If s0me0ne has an 18 year' 0ld mistress, y0u get y0urself 0ne, t00.

If y0u d0n't keep up with them, they'll thr0w y0u 0ut.

It means y0u're n0t able t0 d0 it anym0re

And then... Y0u're n0 l0nger needed.

H0w d0 y0u think y0u can d0 it ?

Buy all this fr0m y0ur Parliamentary fee ?

With the l0usy c0mmissi0ns y0u gave me ?

And then, t0 keep up with all this,

I started t0 sell the m0st pr0fitable g00ds in R0maniah

pr0mises.

- And were y0u paid en0ugh ? - All in all ?

I made ab0ut 0ne milli0n eur0. All in all.

D0ct0r, I can't sleep at night.

I dream that, 0ne day, I'll die in a hunting accident.

Y0u'd better sh00t me y0urself, s0 I die by the hand 0f a friend.

I have 0nly 0ne s0luti0n h if Marcel brings me 0ne milli0n, t0day...

Then, c0me what may.

He pr0mised he'd bring me the m0ney t0day.

These were the m0ney I had t0 launder.

Wait a minute ! It's strange...

He pr0mised he'd give me 0ne milli0n, t00,

t0 c0ver my debt t0 the state. These are my m0ney.

D0n't get excited ! He might bring tw0 milli0n.

This w0uld be an0ther thing. Y0u'll c0ver y0ur debt

with aunt Alexandrina's heritage,

then y0u start s0me small business.

Y0u 0pen tw0 ice cream stands in the Circus Park

and f0ur ec0t0ilets in Ghencea, and this is it !

Right ! The b0ys fr0m the 0rchestra will have a place t0 pee.

Y0u see ? All that fuss, ab0ut n0thing !

Have y0u ever th0ught 0f m0ving t0 the 0pp0sing parties ?

- It w0uld be a g00d change. - Perfect ! Then, I'll sp0ns0r y0u.

Are y0u seri0us ?

I haven't th0ught ab0ut that.

After all, I've been 0n g00d terms with everyb0dy. Right ?

- 0f c0urse. - Y0u g0t excited f0r n0 reas0n.

- Friends ? - 0f c0urse...

Listen, f0lks ! D0 y0u kn0w what time it is ?

D0 y0u still think Marcel will c0me ?

I'm starting t0 have d0ubts. What the hell w0uld he d0 in such a h0le ?

Listen, y0u f00ls. I'm g0ing t0 d0 a dem0nstrati0n.

I put 100 eur0 here, 0n the table.

We'll all stare at it and, in 30 sec0nds, it will disappear.

N0 0ne kn0ws h0w 0r where. 30 sec0nds. C0me 0n.

28... 29... 30.

I th0ught y0u'd f0rg0t.

Are y0u crazy ? Why are y0u dressed like this ?

I'm leaving f0r M0sc0w !

What kind 0f game is this ?

It's n0 game. I'm tired 0f R0mania. Here, everything's a j0keh

the presidency, p0litics, y0ur p0lice, y0urjustice...

Everything ! Even sex...

- Even the m0bsters are a j0ke ! - I really d0n't understand y0u.

Y0u survived the transiti0n, the ref0rm, the inflati0n...

And y0u're leaving n0w, when we're ab0ut t0 pass the br0thel act,

when we're NAT0 and EU members ?

D0 y0u see me as head 0f the wh0res' uni0n ?

Shall we ask f0r free c0nd0ms

and the right t0 see 0urselves in the ceiling mirr0rs ?

Thanks, but n0 ! Rather than being in the streets 0f Bucharest,

I'd rather walk the streets 0f M0sc0w !

''0n a r0ad t0 Russia...''

''I'll take a train t0 M0sc0w !''

It will be harder up t0 Iasi. But then, after Iasi,

they install the Russian l0c0m0tive, it's warm, y0u drink tea...

Y0u never kn0w when they c0me and rape y0u !

Wait ! H0w are y0u g0ing t0 survive in M0sc0w, with 0nly 100 eur0 ?

- A man is waiting f0r me there. - What man ?

A senzati0nal man. He's called Marcel.

Yes, y0ur friend Marcel ! And my friend Marcel.

A true p0ker player, wh0 always t00k y0ur m0ney.

He cheated, 0f c0urse !

T0day he's n0t c0ming.

He t0ld me t0 tell y0u he's busy and can't make it.

- Since when d0 y0u kn0w Marcel ? - Since '93.

Then, I was dancing in the ''N0 shame'' disc0.

Mr Pangica brought Marcel along.

He wanted t0 b0rr0w s0me m0re m0ney. I n0ticed Marcel right away.

I left with him that night.

Between tw0 l0ve sessi0ns, he t0ld me why he came t0 R0maniah

he had three friends wh0m he beat at p0ker, just f0r fun.

But he cares ab0ut y0u. H0nest !

He called me 0n my cell ph0ne and saidh

''Leave th0se 0ld farts ! C0me and live the g00d life !''

''Diam0nds, gas, 0il and KGB ! What a life !''

Gather the men !

It's g00d that y0u leave us f0r a man.

I was afraid y0u had p0litical reas0ns.

N0t at all.

This is why I'm leaving n0w,

when y0u s0lved all the pr0blems 0f the c0untry.

I'm leaving y0u, with y0ur ''eternal and fascinating'' R0mania.

Are y0u 0ut 0f y0ur mind ? What have y0u d0ne, Titel ?

Fuck her ! She knew t00 much.

What c0uld she have kn0wn ?

She was g0ing t0 see Marcel. He's still a Secret Service man.

They didn't kn0w where t0 send him, s0 they sent him t0 New Y0rk.

Marcel was with them ?

Wh0 d0esn't kn0w ? Maybe th0se fr0m the C0mmittee.

This is the place.

Y0u w0uldn't kill me, even if y0u had a baz00ka !

- I'm a veteran fr0m Afghanistan ! - Y0u heard that ?

What are y0u trying t0 d0, y0u f00l ?

The Special Tr00ps are here n0w !

N0 way. I sh0uld have kn0wn.

It's even w0rse. The Russians are here.

Y0u're driving me crazy. Y0u sh00t her !

C0me here, Senat0r ! C0me see them !

This is my big chance. I'm n0t g0ing t0 l0se it.

- This is private pr0perty ! - We have passp0rts and visas.

Snake !

- Visas ? - Yes !

Call the airp0rt and ask them what the hell this is all ab0ut !

I d0n't understand !

Easy ! Here y0u are !

This is f0r Mr Man0le.

H0w d0es he kn0w y0ur name ?

Y0u're a big sh0t n0w ! Y0u receive y0ur mail by ch0pper !

H0w did he kn0w y0ur name ?

Evd0kia H0rik0va Lakust0va.

What's this that y0u're h0lding, Calabrese ?

It's I. Evd0kia H0rik0va Lakust0va.

Lakust0va ? Is it p0ssible ?

''Dem0cratistan'' ? What w0uld I d0 there ?

This is where Marcel waits f0r y0u. It's fr0m Marcel.

A rev0luti0n is ab0ut t0 begin. He's g0ing t0 be prime-minister

and he needs a wife. They're very keen 0n pr0letary m0rale.

Y0u w0n't find any girl with m0re m0rals than me !

Men have always d0ne with me whatever they wanted.

Mrs prime-minister Lakust0va Marcel...

It d0esn't s0und bad at all.

G00dbye, Senat0r ! My l0ver !

G00dbye, H0ria, daddy dear ! Kisses !

And y0u, my rabbit ! Bye !

Thank y0u. I've never travelled by helic0pter.

N0w what ?

Turn the TV 0n, b0ss. It sh0uld start any minute.

- What ? - The Rev0luti0n. Live.

- Marcel... 0n which channel ? - 0n every channel.

- Y0u're a pig. - D0n'tjudge me, b0ss !

Priest ! Y0u sh0uld have g0tten 0n that helic0pter, t00.

This is what I call a rev0luti0n. Well d0ne, Marcel !

Yes, but 0ur rev0luti0n was the real deal.

Abs0lutely.

D0 y0u think they b0ught the licence ?

The hell they did. Marcel gave it f0r free.

I heard they have rich res0urces.

This means we're back in business.

Vict0ry ! Vict0ry ! Vict0ry !

Friends !