All language subtitles for Pourquoi.Maman.Est.Dans.Mon.Lit.1994.1080p.BluRay.x264.AAC-[YTS.MX].en

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Original subtitles

Calm down, Antoine.

Calm down.

Above all, whatever happens, don't call Mom.

Are you all right, darling?

Are you all right?

Yes.

Fine.

You're not afraid?

No.

Of what?

I see that all is well.

I'm going to bed.

Don't be afraid, mom.

It's only a storm.

If you say so.

It's just an atmospheric disturbance,

characterized by electrical phenomena...

that flame up the clouds,

causing the rain. Nothing else.

Ah?

It's Dad.

Oh...

WHY IS MOM IN MY BED?

Why is mom in my bed? Why?

Actually, if Mom is in my bed,

it's because Dad is no longer in his. Yes.

So why is Dad no longer in his?

Because he left.

It's been 3 weeks,

2 days, 16 hours and...

32 minutes.

It started less than a year ago, on Christmas Eve.

- Let go of me. Stop. - Move on.

- You're cute. - Come on, Gilbert, in the cell.

Parents' name and address.

- Hey? - Yes?

Well done.

Will you talk? Or I throw you in the cell...

with Bonehead Toto... and Crazy Nini.

For the 2,182nd time I ask you...

Come here!

Parents' name and address.

Parents' name and address!

In May 1968, my dad was kept in custody for 76 hours...

without saying a word, so...

An orphan, perhaps?

Hey, are you sleeping?

An orphan?

Oh no...

My poor, poor little darling.

Orphan, jacket thief, vagabond and mute.

A really bad start in life, kid.

But I have ways to make you talk.

Adolphe!

Adolphe?

Is it ready?

I want to go home.

He's talking... Adolphe, come.

He's talking.

To go where? You don't have an address.

Good. It's us now.

Come on, sit there.

My bag was stolen.

Is that what you wanted?

Hey, I'm talking to you!

You don't like it?

My name is Antoine Cuzin. I live at 4 allée des Tilleuls.

Pierre?

Quick, the Christmas cake is coming.

- Oh, look... - Oh...

Bravo, bravo.

What a cacophony, oh...

If we could hear their souls, which must already be quite black.

Mom's parents, from Nice for Christmas Eve. "No comment."

You always exaggerate. They are just kids.

I heard them in concert.

They were beautiful, dressed in white, so pure. They have no evil thoughts.

Lucie: Mom's best friend, and her neighbor. Nice.

It's the the devil's beauty. We have to be wary.

Yes, clothes don't make the man.

Nor the jacket, the rocker.

Georges: Lucie's husband.

Dad's high school buddy.

Don't exaggerate. He pinched one jacket...

not a stock.

Lucie and Georges's son.

First a jacket, and due to parents' laxness, off to jail.

- Especially when you get caught. - But mind you,

I didn't say he won't be punished.

Yes, of course, but it's Christmas, right?

Let's eat the Christmas cake later. It's presents time!

Presents make you feel good. I like to give presents.

- It makes me tingle all over. - Typical.

Cathy, my sweet sister, 1st year psychology.

When she thinks hard, she perspires. She was up to something.

Yes. It's linked to the pleasure you felt on the potty.

Silly mothers tell their child on the potty:

- "Show me the pretty gift you made." - Is that why I tingle?

Antoine stole that jacket because you couldn't buy him one.

And that is because Dad doesn't earn enough.

So, to resolve this situation, Dad has to earn more,

but that is impossible. He's not responsible.

He's doomed to failure with no potential to win.

Something's fishy with those diplomas.

- Admit it. You despise money. - No, I don't.

It's not totally false.

That's enough from you.

Okay, Miss Know-it-all. Why am I an economics teacher?

To prove that capitalism is rotten.

But it is rotten, Cathy.

That's Christian morality.

- Oh no, Karl Marx was an atheist. - He was broke.

- That morality comes from your parents. - But God, no.

- Grandpa... - Charles.

Yes, that's it. Thankfully I was watchful.

Therefore, a child in need of money

steals, plunders, and sinks into despicable crime.

He ends up in jail when he becomes of age.

She'll go far, that girl.

She takes after me.

- It's monstrous. - Thank you.

What is it?

Shall we open the presents?

Other than that, all was fine. The tree sparkled, the crib glittered,

and my dad was freaking out.

You are the queen of bitches.

Your father is a great guy.

Pierre, is this for me?

- Yes. - They are wonderful.

Thank you, darling.

I love to see my parents kiss.

- What? - What's that?

- Another guest? - No.

Disgraceful!

Honey, look.

Look at the nice present Georges gave to Lucie.

I knew your father was corny, but not that much.

Shall we take a look?

How nice.

Dad, Mom never got her driver's license.

Precisely, we must be positive.

I love being positive.

- Pure leather. - Oh, honey...

Can I sit down? Yes?

He's right.

Besides, you know what? No.

They probably exchanged us in the maternity.

- Look at that, it's funny. - Yes.

You know what he also gave me?

Dad bought Mom earrings that match last year's necklace.

Really?

I bet they are very expensive.

You're right. It's the thought that counts, not the price.

Pierre! Where's the champagne? It's Christmas. Damn it!

We're coming, sweetheart.

Where did he go? He needs to see it.

No, no, no.

I know it's your car, but I'll drive it for now.

No, no.

Nothing was damaged?

- It won't last long. - I know.

Resign yourself.

Maybe it's for the best. It has suffered so much.

Yes.

We'll still buy used car, and will still play catch-up with Georges

as we drive to a holiday villa rented by him.

Have you taken seriously what your daughter said?

Me? No, I have a teacher's salary.

Come on, they're waiting for us.

- You don't love me only for my money. - I love you for your brains.

- And because I'm the best-looking guy. - Especially naked.

Ten days later, we were back from Christmas holidays.

5,

4,

3,

2,

1,

go!

Mom, I don't have any panties.

In the laundry basket, sweetheart.

Mom? And my sneakers?

Under the stairs to the cellar.

Véro, my love, where are my shoes?

Where you left them last night: Under the chair.

Good. Everyone is here.

Because I made a big decision.

I know that it will be hard for you,

but I weighed the pros and cons.

Especially the cons.

Pierre, you won't agree, but I understand your reasons.

Good.

You love to find me home in the evening. You are like that.

Don't add more butter.

And you still need your mother.

- Dad, the jam please? - Yes.

Even if Freud may have all the answers.

You drank all the milk! Pisses me off!

My dear, I'm thinking especially of you.

I'm not abandoning you.

Dad, she pinched the butter.

Come on!

I'm asking for 5 minutes of attention. It's not that hard.

I have something important to tell you.

I'm going to find a job.

It's the only solution to improve our standard of living.

We'll talk later. I'm terribly late.

Goodbye, darling. Good luck.

Bye, Mom.

Do you know what you wanna do?

Well, no, but... no.

Antoine, hurry up.

Coming.

Okay. Bye, Mom.

Hello.

- Hello, madam. - Hello.

Hello. Will you follow me?

Over here.

Antoine, can you wait here, please?

See you later.

Thank you for coming.

I'll ask some routine questions, if you don't mind.

You are a teacher, right?

- And you, housewife. - Absolutely.

My children never had a nanny, eat only fresh, never canned food.

- I buy groceries every other day. Even... - Yes, I see.

How long have you been married?

- 20 years. - 20 years?

- That's amazing. - Yes.

And regarding...

- Are you doing alright? - Regarding what?

Yes, well... In the evenings after TV?

What about it?

Regarding sex. She wants to know how it goes.

Is there a connection to the theft?

I try to understand what drove your son...

Very well. Sexually, it's going very well.

What about yourself?

That's not the issue.

Ah well, we agree.

Good. Let's continue.

You live in a suburban neighborhood.

- We have a very big house. - With a teacher's salary?

It's a gift from my parents.

- Oh, I see. - You see what?

- We all need a little help. - Hey!

No, really. It's a family heirloom.

Good. I see.

- And you never thought of a divorce? - No.

- Not even once? For a second? - No.

- No quarreling? - That's insane! What's this crap?

Calm down, dear, there's no reason to get upset.

Miss, my husband, my children and I are a family,

with its problems, but also joy and love.

It's not sappy happiness... but we are happy.

Well, look no further, huh.

Your son is completely marginalized.

Excuse me, but I don't quite understand.

If I understand what she's saying,

since we have no problems and we love our children,

our son feels marginalized. Right?

Not only does he feel marginalized... but he is!

So he steals... to be like his mates.

Today... the norm is the fringe.

And the fringe... is the norm.

My parents concluded that I had to apologize...

to the shop owner, so she would drop the charges.

Madam, I apologize...

and I beg you to excuse me.

Madam, I apologize...

and I beg you to excuse me.

Yes?

Yes.

Yes, yes.

Yes.

But... I'll call you back.

It's our little thief.

My God, the poor laddie.

Rule number 1: Dickens heroes.

Madam, I apologize...

and I beg you to excuse me.

Why should I?

It's my parents' fault because they love each other.

So?

I couldn't care less!

I'm waiting.

It's a mistake of youth. I'll work hard to pay you back.

I swear on my sick mother.

I've better things to do. Why should I excuse you?

I don't know.

Are you about to give in? I can't hold it all day.

Come on, Ms. Lucette, the laddie returned the jacket.

Of course, Gisou, of course.

"Yeah!"

- Children are so beautiful when they cry. - That is true.

Sadist.

You got scolded by your parents, right?

Did they beat you?

Hard?

Poor laddie.

Your father beats you often?

When he is unemployed.

And your mom, honey?

She...

She... She... I...

- She drinks. - Yes, she drinks, that's it.

- I was sure. - Laddie...

- But she takes good care of us. - Us?

Me and my sister.

I'm the eldest, and she just turned 2.

She spends her days with the "free-nanny"... whom we never pay.

- I have to go, otherwise... - I know.

I went through the same, you know.

But you can overcome it.

It takes a lot of will. But if you want, you can.

Look.

And the charges... madam?

Forget it, sweetie.

I had a difficult childhood, too.

Don't you have it in size 38? Or 40.

Yes, I'm coming.

He's showing his disagreement with a society alien to him.

I thought it was his father not earning enough... Make up your mind.

He just wanted a jacket like his friends.

- Anyway, it's not very serious. - Oh no, of course.

My son steals, and says I am an alcoholic, my daughter crucifies her father...

and a crazy cop says we marginalize our children because we love each other.

A teacher's salary is not enough for a family with 2 teenagers.

Actually, it was just a dare.

Happiness can be disgusting sometimes.

In no time, Mom got an interview with Goody-Goody, a trendy decorator.

Well, I'm 40 years old... barely.

Well, almost.

I have an English diploma and a Masters in art history.

I decorated my whole house.

I have a strong taste for dreamy, playful effects... fairy-tale-like.

I decorated my children's room inspired by "Alice in Wonderland", with...

a door between two rooms.

- A door? Very original, Ms. Cuzin. - You can only go through on all four.

My children had a lot of fun.

Mom, who cares. You have an interview with the trendiest decorator of Poitiers.

Above all, you need a makeover. You have to live with the times.

With whom?

She was scared so we all gave her advice.

The result: My mother was unrecognizable.

I have an appointment with Mr. Lespion.

- The door at the end. - Over there?

Thank you.

No...

Comparing the schedules of a schoolboy and an adult,

I'd rather be working, so I can have some fun.

I don't know why,

but when they complain, I think they exaggerate.

- Decorators work in a weird circle. - I'll search in human relations.

Antoine, will you collect the balls?

Human relations is a weird circle, too.

- Yes, it's true. - Well, yes, it's true.

If I were you, I'd try to keep my wife at home.

What?

The kids are grown, so she feels a bit useless. She needs to assert herself.

- If I had the means, I'd stay at home. - I'm sure you'll have lots of fun.

- Work is rewarding. - It's the money that is rewarding.

Shit.

Thanks.

You're sweet. Thanks.

Professional male-female relationships are based on sex.

Where did you get that?

To convince an employer just slide your nylons. That drives them crazy.

I serve.

- What do you know? You've never worked. - True, but on the other hand, I have...

You have what?

Stop worrying about me.

I'm worried about me.

- Is he better? - I put a cutlet on his eye.

Amazing how he got distracted.

- Have you noticed, Véro? - What?

Lucie does everything you do.

It's true.

When you met Pierre,

Lucie fell in love with me because...

I was his best friend.

You started Tupperware meetings... Lucie did, too.

- You got a child, she too. - A girl and then a second one, you didn't.

Not for lack of trying. I assure you.

What are you trying to tell me?

Are you afraid that Lucie will start looking for work,

and that she'll give in to sexual harassment?

Is that it?

I'm sorry, but I need a job.

So?

- How goes the hopeless search? - Morale is good.

You want to tell me something.

Let's suppose I give you money.

Discreetly of course. Would you agree?

- Why would I agree? - Stop playing dumb, will you?

If I understand correctly,

you want to give me money so Véro doesn't find work...

and your wife stays at home.

- Conditionally, of course. - Of course.

If we can imagine that, would you agree?

It depends on how much we imagine.

Well... 2000 francs each month.

- You ought to have more imagination! - Let's imagine 3000.

Unimaginable to see Dad negotiating over Mom.

- 5000. - You're hallucinating.

I imagine no more than 4000.

It's 5000 or nothing.

Okay. Let's imagine 5000.

At this point, I imagine that you're a dumb-ass that takes me for a pimp.

You're right. I didn't think about that.

- Good thing we were just imagining. - Good thing we were just imagining.

Yes, that's why. There's Antoine. Your snack is in the kitchen.

A week later, to Georges's dismay,

Mom found work.

He has been briefed by the "big boss".

In fact he was reprimanded!

She was a receptionist at an ad agency.

Pierre, why can't I talk about something else? It's not normal.

And what about you, my love?

Ah, you won't come home for dinner?

Yes, I...

Yes.

I thought it wasn't normal to always speak about work?

Till tonight, my love. Yes.

Mom, is a receptionist important or not?

Sure, very important.

Imagine, it's the first contact.

If someone wants to entrust an ad to Mr. Lomé... Mr. Lomé is my boss.

If I don't answer correctly, nicely,

he'll hang up angry and will contact another agency.

- So without you, there won't be business. - In a way, yes.

- You're not the one creating the ads? - Ah well, no. Sorry.

Now we're alone, we'll have a romantic evening, okay?

Cathy and father are gone, we'll have a TV dinner at will.

- Dinner or TV? - Both.

Before, she'd never have proposed that.

One thing was certain... and only I had noticed...

My mother was no longer herself.

Something shows up in all copies,

despite the different names you give it:

"To earn fat stacks, dead presidents, greenbacks, big bucks, dough."

A job is not just to make money.

Money is an end, not a means.

Antoine understood his mother's new profession very well,

and gave specific examples.

- His mom is... - Receptionist. - Not at all. Designer.

Fuck! A French assignment is secret.

She invented commercials for Coca-Cola,

The Laughing Cow... All commercials.

Well, he perfectly understood the creative side of the job.

He didn't talk about money.

Be wary.

Money is a drug.

An addiction.

Look at Antoine, for example.

Oh no...

He's the only one without a leather jacket.

Is he any less happy?

Yes.

Of course not.

I was the only one without divorced parents.

That's why I didn't have a leather jacket.

According to Cathy, a divorced father buys you a jacket out of feelings of guilt.

Remarkable!

Antoine? Are you dreaming?

No, sir.

Repeat what I said.

You asked me if I was dreaming.

Quiet.

That's right. You were dreaming.

I said that money doesn't buy happiness.

Poverty either.

Quiet.

What a mess here.

What is it, my Antoine?

I didn't get my snack.

Listen, you're old enough to...

Come here.

Super Mom was back. She had resumed her primary job,

and in less that an hour, the house was spic and span.

Hi.

Oh, I had an awesome class today.

It was on obsess... obsessional neurosis.

I should tell you about it.

Mom wanted to shut up my sister.

- Hi everyone. - Hello.

Everything okay, darling?

You know what my boss said? That I am an exceptional receptionist.

Everything I do, I do well.

Isn't it, darling?

There are children here.

Even without her Walkman, your daughter hears nothing.

You only think about that.

- Yes. - Yes.

- My tailor is not rich. - I'll be in the study.

My tailor is rich.

How to know? Is he rich or not? He's Robin Hood.

- Mom, can you help me? - Ask your father. I'm busy.

Dad?

- Yes? - Can you help me?

I have 80 papers to grade, plus preparations for my trainees.

What are we eating tonight?

I don't know. Shall we go to the restaurant?

You are supposed to make us spareribs tonight.

You were supposed to tidy up the living room this morning.

Mom... when I took an additional course in philosophy,

I didn't stop my psychology courses,

and I didn't ask anybody to go in my place.

It was rather then that Mom wanted to shut up Cathy.

- Mom, I have no more panties. - And my sneakers?

Véro, my love, where are my shoes?

Mom?

- Mom. - Honey.

PUSH

Dear Cathy, your panties are in the laundry basket.

Sweetie, your sneakers are under the stairs.

My love, your shoes are under the chair,

where you left them last night.

Just heat the milk.

Your father ought to manage. He was a cub scout in his youth.

Wait, I haven't finished.

Remember to clear the table and do the dishes.

Cathy, please tidy up the living room.

Pierre, don't forget the garbage,

Antoine, lock the door when you leave.

I love you.

It's 7:25. You're 10 minutes late.

- What? - Shit.

That night was a great night even if you couldn't see it yet.

The three of us had decided to surprise her.

She'll be here soon, but no panic.

Fortunately, you were a cub scout.

What's a cub scout?

You remember Snow White,

when she tidies up the messed-up house of the dwarfs?

Huh?

Fortunately, she got help from the animals of the forest.

Of the forest.

That's what a cub scout is.

Oh, I see. It's like a boy scout.

And I have an exam tomorrow.

And I have an English test.

Stop.

We wanted to celebrate your first months' salary.

All this attention for earning minimum wages.

I should have started much earlier.

I prepared a bath for you.

So you can relax.

I had a narrow escape.

Cathy, it's not an additional course I take for my own sake,

but a stressful, tiring and annoying full-time job.

I am tired. I'm going to take a bath.

By the way, Antoine, tomorrow we could go shopping.

I think I saw a very beautiful jacket.

"Yeah".

Hop! Go ahead.

Here, knives, forks.

No, leave it there.

But it's not clean.

Look, it's okay.

It hasn't been rinsed.

Cathy called it Snow White's Desert Storm.

We should open a small restaurant because...

It's fine.

Hello?

Yes?

No.

Who was it?

- A jerk asking for Kate. - What?

Hello? Yes, Jean-Phi. No, it's me, Kate.

Of course, Jean-Phi.

Okay, Jean-Phi.

Bye, Jean-Phi.

Goodbye...

"Kate"?

Um... Jean-Phi?

Yes. He's a great guy.

He has a solid career plan and he is not afraid of money.

At least I'm not making a transference from my dad.

Where are the rubber gloves?

- Since when do you paint your nails? - Since I'm showing them.

- Appearance is essential at work. - Must have a huge impact over the phone.

I've been attending some A.S. sessions lately.

A.S.? Abbreviation for Advertising Spots.

Mr. Lomé says I have great consumer insight, as a former housekeeper.

Does Mr. Lomé give you more H.C. for that?

H.C. stands for hard cash.

Don't exaggerate, it's just once a week.

Something wrong, honey?

Kate is in love.

No, no.

She thinks about the future.

You're jealous because I look at a man other than you.

The best one yet... I only want you to be happy, sweetie.

A happiness bound and subjected to paternal desire.

There, there! You always annoy her... Cathy!

What did I say?

Son, I know a monastery up there in the mountains.

We would be so well there.

Is school okay, Antoine?

Are you still first?

Oh, that's good.

What are you reading?

How much do you want?

Well, how much?

100.

What? 100 francs? Out of the question.

Hey, when you stole that jacket,

you'd be in some deep shit without me.

- Yes. You did very well that day. - So?

What is it for?

To buy a gift.

For whom?

For whom is the gift?

- That's disgusting, what you're doing. - I know. It's an old fantasy.

It's for Jean-Phi.

What? Are you in love?

Antoine, will you lend me the 100 francs?

What have you got?

I'm thinking about the other.

About the fish he'll get in the nose.

Snow White or not, without total commitment,

operation Desert Storm doesn't last very long .

"This ratio "I" specifies the amount of goods eaten..."

"I", that must be...

- Yes. - Yes.

"Necessary for the production of units 'j'..."

- The production of one unit. - Yes.

All right, Mom?

Ah, there you are, darling. Excuse me, I didn't finish...

Simon needed me here.

- You got it? - Yes, yes.

What's wrong?

If Publivore doesn't find a slogan, we'll lose the deal.

"We"?

If we lose it, we have to close.

You say "we"... You're a receptionist there.

Listen, if we close, we close.

What are they selling?

Pompon diapers.

Pompon? Pompon Pompon...

What is it?

Yes, what is it with you? Oh shit!

Careful, it'll fall.

I disliked Jean-Phi so much that I thought I was jealous and in love with my sister.

No way!

So you study psychology with Cathy... Uh, Kate.

God forbid.

You don't manage a business by understanding people.

I follow a more specialized university program.

- I'm just back from the States. - Ah...

Father wants me to go to Harvard, but I'm not sure.

Even though that school is the "best of the best".

- Isn't it, Leo? - Absolutely, Jean-Pierre. Absolutely.

It's "over the top". Right Maurice?

You're right, Raoul. It's top class.

I want my Bob to attend that great institution.

Port? Whiskey? Beer?

No, thanks.

Bitte schön.

Is it a private joke?

So... Thank you. I will return your daughter safe and sound.

Oh...

"It's a private joke," too.

- Dad, can I go kill a cat? - Yes, but drink a beer first.

Again...

Will you have a child?

"Babies", small "babies".

Mom... he's French.

Oh yes...

I'd like to know what would compel you to buy Pompon diapers.

Mom!

I'm not talking about your children,

but you will have them one day. Even if it's not together.

- Mom... - Madam, your question is obsolete.

In our family, the Vigier-Dugourt children have nurses, so those domestic issues...

Ah... yes I see.

Jean-Philippe doesn't like children because they're noisy and smelly... Okay?

Shall we go, Jean-Philippe?

Madam.

And my diapers?

My respects. Sir.

Sir.

He's great.

Are you sure it's here?

Yes...

Two weeks later, we went to a restaurant.

Ah, there is Mom.

Of course, madam.

Thanks.

I lost my job.

There's a lesson in every failure. 1 can always divided by 2.

Uh... Except the bill.

I understand it was an ordeal for you...

but... we'd better leave.

Let's go.

Comtes de Champagne Rosé.

- Very good. But this is the wrong table. - No, no. It's for us.

I lost my job to get another.

You see, I was right.

You can always multiply 1 by 2.

I am now a designer.

How about that?

I will create the ads, darling. Aren't you proud of Mom?

I came up with the new slogan. It's a bit thanks to Jean-Phi.

Listen: "With Pompon Diapers, babies won't be gripers".

- It sucks, eh? - No.

But the client liked it.

Will you make more money?

That's right. How much will you get?

2 times more.

3 times?

That's great! So you're going to get...

Ah, that's a lot.

Yes.

To Pompon Diapers.

Dad realized that Mom was going to earn more money than him.

A lot more.

It was then that the problems really began.

Without delay, my mother hired a housekeeper.

Okay, Jacqueline? Will you be okay?

Yes, madam. The laundry basket, the staircase, and the lounge chair.

Good, very good.

Okay. I'm late. I'm off, then.

- Good day. - Thank you, madam.

And good luck.

There.

- Where are my panties? - Laundry basket.

- And my sneakers? - Staircase. Cellar.

And my black shoes with laces?

Armchair, lounge.

Oh...

And bam, the milk.

Are you okay?

Yes, I'm fine.

Now they play in the evening since they all work.

Lucie, too... My mother had her good friend hired as a receptionist.

Undoubtedly, to annoy Georges, and it worked very well.

Yes!

And bam.

- Not nice to shoot at point-blank range. - He asked for it.

He's unhappy. He suffers.

Because his wife works? That's bullshit.

- Oh... - Do you suffer?

- You've changed, Véro. - Me?

Apart from wearing silk blouses now, I don't see how I have changed.

- Before, you would've felt sorry for him. - Before what?

- Before. - Explain yourself.

- Before you made a buck. - Hey...

Especially, if it is to talk bullshit.

I like that better.

You know, Rex and Partner, that big European agency...

Yes.

Well, they offered me a job.

That's good.

Great. I'm thrilled.

12...

13...

Your plastic is annoying.

- I have to lose 3 kg. - You'd better. Lomé has no fat at all.

- Who? - Lucie's boss.

If she leaves me, I'll kill them. I can't live without her.

Aren't you exaggerating a bit?

She just started to work,

and you already see her in bed with her boss... Give him 2 weeks.

Are you kidding?

Yes, I'm kidding.

But you have nothing to fear... for now.

You don't know. You're a public servant. The private sector is a jungle.

Let's swap.

- All women work now. - And they get divorced.

At 40, it's normal for a woman to have the desire to blossom.

That's why Véro started.

Mom said she did it for the money.

So you're okay if she accepts the Rex job offer.

Oh, totally.

Even if she earns 2 times more?

Ouch...

Pierre, get out of there. Open up.

- It's nothing, you must be tired. - It's been a month.

Not so loud. You'll wake the children.

Let them hear that their father...

Pierre, you're acting like a silly macho.

- It happens to others. - I don't care about the others.

- Cathy? - Yes?

What's going on downstairs?

Oh, it's nothing. Dad can't get a hard-on.

A direct result of an inferiority complex in dominated male mammals.

We fell madly in love with each other. Well... Especially me.

It was her. She was at my house, in flesh and blood.

Hello.

Especially in the flesh.

Hi, Sandra.

- This is a "flash" visit. - A thunderbolt!

Antoine, meet Sandra.

Haven't we met before?

- The books are ready. Will you come? - Yes.

If I hurry, I can make it.

- I'll take this one. Is it good? - It's very good.

Okay.

- A cup of tea? - No, I was just passing through.

- Next time. - Okay, I'd like to.

Véro, you're just in time.

This is Sandra, one of my trainees.

Sandra, meet Véro.

- His wife. - Hello.

I wouldn't like you to take me for his sister.

- Good. I've got to go, I'm late. - I'll walk you out.

Bye.

- A real bombshell, huh. - Very nice.

- Very nice and smart. - Of course.

- And above all, the big boobs. - Really?

Gentlemen!

You're regressing to the oral stage.

If this is the oral stage, it's wonderful!

Why are you dressed like that?

I'm going to get some bread.

It's nice, huh?

It is a very feminine car.

But a man can get in, too.

- You should try it out. - Good idea.

- We can let you have it for a weekend. - Nice.

- You can have me, too. - What?

To explain how it works.

La Baule is 200 km away. We can be there in 2 hours.

We can offer you payment terms.

That's interesting.

No. You pay double on credit.

No. I pay cash.

- The controls are ergonomic. - "Ergo" what?

- Ergonomic. The tips are round. - Ah.

The wipers are like a caress.

- I see. - Yes, yes.

Do you like it?

A weekend at La Baule in the Twingo. Yes?

I'll think about it.

You have a beautiful mom.

- Thank you, sir. Bye. - Bye.

Summer arrived.

You could tell because Miss Grange, who visited more often,

wore less and less clothes.

It's logical, but at times it leads to sudden descents.

The fluctuation of consumption has already gone slower...

That said, between us,

the first two numbers are zero.

But after that the others are good.

It's about a US financier born in the "Middlesex"...

the Middle West, excuse me, and...

Excuse me.

There.

Thanks, Jacqueline.

You want some orange juice?

Thank you.

A job I would really like is hairdresser.

A hairstyle can shape faces...

I don't know what he sees in her.

He sees nothing, Jacqueline.

He seeks in her boobs the recognition of the mother he takes for his wife.

No, the other way around.

Of the woman he takes for his mother.

He's regressing to the oral stage.

Where to?

Hello? Yes, Mom.

It's me.

Yes.

Dad told me.

You come home tomorrow? At what time is your train?

Yes, I wrote it down.

Okay. Bye, Mom.

Hey!

Don't worry, you're not the first man I see naked.

No.

Tell Dad I'm going to the movies. Don't expect me for dinner, OK?

"No problemo."

Bye.

So I'm a man! If Cathy says so, it must be true,

because she doesn't always talk bullshit.

Are you all right, big guy?

I have to go out.

Miss Grange has the flu.

What a pit.

So I'll go work at her place.

- She could catch cold coming here. - She doesn't cover herself much.

Let your sister know.

She's working in her room. I don't want to disturb her.

- Don't wait for me for dinner. - "No problemo".

Chocolate cigarettes... are bad for the liver.

Bye.

Finally alone.

Good morning, Francoise.

Here's your breakfast.

Thanks. Is it for me?

Oh yeah...

Oh yeah...

- Oh yes... - No...

- Yes... - No...

Yes... Yes...

No...

Yes, yes, yes...

No...

Yes, yes...

Cathy?

Antoine?

Cathy...

Pierre?

Pierre?

Antoine...

Oh...

Cathy hasn't come home. Dad either.

You mean you're alone since yesterday?

Sorry, darling. Sorry, sweetie. I should've been here.

Why didn't you call me at the hotel?

- Uh... I didn't think of it. - Somebody is gonna hear from me!

By the way, where is your father?

Did he say anything?

He didn't say anything.

Is he at Miss Grange's?

- She caught a cold. - Oh... Poor thing...

The coffee is ready.

Huh?

Your son spent the night alone.

Not possible. And where was Cathy?

Does Miss Grange feel better?

No.

No, but we managed to finish her probation report.

You're a bastard!

Ah, there you are.

Where have you been?

Where?

You can't leave your brother alone without telling where you are.

He's right about that.

Dad wasn't here either.

Well, well. So you feel guilty... and you put the blame on your daughter.

Now, you tell me... that's not very nice.

Don't ask me look to after your relationship problems... I have my own.

What do you mean?

Last night a great thing happened. The thing.

Don't tell me that...

Yes, the big leap, and all the rest. Nirvana, it's done.

I don't know why, but I'm so thirsty.

Don't worry.

It's normal after what you just went through... It must be hereditary.

Ah, I forgot to tell you...

I canceled the car.

Ours can still hold one more year.

Mom was mad at Dad because of Sandra,

Dad was mad at Mom for still buying the car,

and Cathy went to visit Freud's house... It was fun.

The only positive thing: This year it was us who rented the villa.

Hey, hello.

I'm happy to be here.

Véro, we're gonna have a wonderful holiday.

Hello.

- Hello. - Hello. How are you?

- Fine. - Thanks for this paradise.

- Is it nice? - Oh yes.

To you too, of course.

Hello?

Yes.

Yes.

Okay, I'll put him on.

Georges?

Telephone.

Expecting a personal call?

Véronique, we have to talk.

About what?

About your bitch that restored your virility?

I don't care.

- Is it for me? - Yes.

Hello?

She went backpacking with friends. That's why she isn't here.

- Where did she go? - To Vienna, to see Freud's house.

- Perhaps she'll drop by. - I hope so.

- We didn't see her last year either. - Yes, too bad.

Don't you think you've eaten enough?

- It's not good to eat too much at night. - That's true.

So, dear Lucie, how is Simon?

- He went "rope" climbing. - "Rock" climbing, darling.

- What did I say? - "Rope" climbing, darling.

- I heard you're working as well. - Yes.

You also concoct stupid commercials to sell movies?

- No, Mom, that's me. - You should be looking after your family.

You know, Véro... I always thought you had a lot of talent.

And I'm proud of you.

- So, tell us. - Well...

As you know, I was hired as a receptionist.

- I didn't do much, and was happy there. - And now you smoke at the table.

Grandma... may I be excused?

Of course, darling.

But you don't leave empty-handed.

Every time my mom was confronted with hers,

she changed completely, and I didn't like it.

I really didn't.

Especially, since I only had 3 servings of meat.

That's how your daughter became an ad designer,

and that's why a larger agency wants her.

- And are you going to accept this offer? - Without a doubt.

- Women aren't made to work. - I strongly agree.

Gender equality... Don't make me laugh.

Perhaps at work, but at home...

No way!

Not true. Men participate nowadays.

Well, sometimes.

If women didn't work, families could not survive.

She's right. Look at teachers, for example.

But I look at them.

I look at them.

Antoine!

Why is Mom like that when Grandma is around?

I don't want to talk like your sister,

but I think your mother didn't receive much love as a child.

Hardly any.

Now she has a huge need for recognition... in general.

Keeping to yourselves?

Huh?

It's poetic, as landscape?

Huh?

And then...

It's so restful.

Huh?

No?

Huh?

Your coffee's getting cold.

No, thank you. I pass.

Well, let's clear out.

- Are you coming, Georges? - No, later.

It's true, you can breathe here.

Yes... I'm coming.

Of course, you invited your mother to spend your holidays.

- I do not care! - I know, but don't exaggerate.

Your mother is annoying. When she opens her mouth I want to kill her.

You could spend your holidays with Sandra.

About Sandra, if you want to know... Yes! I enjoyed myself!

- Like an animal! - She'll get her degree, at least.

- You think you were hired for your talent? - Of course. What are you insinuating?

Stop being angry all the time. Enough is enough!

You know, Georges...

I don't know how to tell you.

These holidays can't be fun for Lucie and you.

What are you afraid of, Pierre?

That we'll stop liking you after 25 years of friendship?

It's in hard times that you know who your real friends are.

I was thinking of something...

There's a vacancy for a director where I work.

You should apply for it.

- Would I have to compete, as you did? - Yes.

There will be an endurance test,

silly puzzles and stupid psychological tests, right?

Yes, that's exactly it.

I studied economics, Georges... I didn't go to circus school.

I wasn't talking about the circus, Pierre.

I was just talking about Véro and you.

Dad, you can do it.

You're shipwrecked. You're alone with a great girl. What do you do?

Flares... signal flares.

- What do you do with the girl? - Huh?

Um... Yoga, relaxation.

Pierre, a very pretty girl.

I don't know.

You fuck her! You do what's obvious! You fuck her.

Yes... you fuck her.

Stop the timer.

- The tree test. - Oh yes?

Good. Analyze the drawing.

What is that?

Baobab seeds in a garden in France.

A boy watered it every morning,

but it didn't grow because it wasn't in its natural environment.

If they propose the tree test, take a wild card.

- Okay? - Why?

Ecology is in fashion.

You're supposed to be the tree.

I'll take a wild card.

These were the most sportive holidays ever... Dad's morale was sky high.

You shall succeed... or I cut off my hand.

Georges didn't cut off his hand as promised,

but my father's job competition was a flop.

No, this man wasn't going out for a walk.

No, he wasn't leaving for work either.

He was leaving us.

Hello.

Hello, darling.

She was hired at Rex without an interview,

without endurance or psychological tests... It wasn't fair.

Hurry up, Antoine.

I have no classes before 9 am.

I know. You have study period. The principal agrees.

I can't go with you later, I'm working. You know that.

With Dad, at least...

Okay, but he isn't here... so don't give me a hard time.

But why did he leave us?

Because he went to see Sandra? Or because Mom had to find work,

and her career plan was fail–safe?

If I hadn't stolen that jacket,

she would never have started to work. Therefore...

Dad left because of me.

But life without Dad is...

How to explain it?

It's as if the whole world were empty.

Cathy!

Cathy, you must help me.

With what?

Mom and Dad.

- Yes. What? - We must do something.

- It's all my fault. - No, Antoine... 20 years is already great.

Love is neither certain nor tragic. Okay?

Oh, hi, Antoine.

How long have you been together?

Uh... 11 minutes.

Since this summer.

Well... What do we do?

- Nothing. It's their problem. - Listen, they are adults.

You have to give them some slack.

I had to talk to them.

My God!

- Mom! - Just a sec, honey, I'm with Lucie.

- Are you sure? - I surprised them in Simon's room.

But don't worry, they didn't see me.

I can't believe it.

That they didn't seen me?

No. Cathy and Simon together.

Imagine if they got married, we would be one family.

- I feel like crying. Here. - No, thanks. Calm down.

They won't make commitments, especially Cathy.

They have no experience, they're so young.

We got married at their age, and knew a lot less.

Look how we ended up.

Speak for yourself.

Oh, Véro, sorry.

Any news?

Mom.

No. And I don't want any.

Nonsense!

Mom.

He left... It's up to him to come back.

If he doesn't?

Mom.

"Mom." Can't you call me "mommy"?

Am I half a mother?

Come on, it's time to go home now.

If he doesn't come back?

I didn't throw him out, did I?

Dad.

Cathy...

- Cathy with Simon? - Yes.

She made her paternal transference.

Her what?

Dad.

Forget it.

Uh...

You've got a pretty nice setup here.

I mean, it's not...

Yes, you can stop your bullshit.

It's not my fault you left your wife.

Dad.

One second.

No, it's not your fault.

Why don't you go back? Don't you think it's ridiculous?

Dad.

Do you see me arriving there?

"Excuse me, dear, I'm coming home."

I have a bit more dignity than that.

- If she wants me back... - She has to come and get you?

You wanted to tell me something, big boy?

Do you like your new bike?

Happy holidays, everybody.

Antoine?

What's the matter, lad?

Your results have plummeted.

Do you want to talk about it?

I don't give a damn about your bullshit.

What I want... is that you get back together.

Okay, it's my fault, but I don't give a damn about jackets,

or about who earns more or who earns less.

You say that we are childish. I think you are!

No one listens to me, no one sees me.

I'm fed up.

That's good, Antoine, you're very brave.

I've never seen a boy in your condition smiling.

You bet. I have a good reason to be happy.

My eye and arm won't be sacrificed in vain.

- Shall I wash you a fruit? - He just had one.

Don't you have a meeting with your staff?

- I'd like to see the doctor. - He won't come for another half an hour.

- Are you doing it on purpose? - What?

You seem pleased that I can't wait for him.

What an idea, to buy him a bike!

- Yes, it's my fault. Blame me! - I'm not blaming you!

Oh, Lord, I thought we would never land.

And the traffic jams at Biard-Poitiers...

It's a miracle that I'm here. How are you, darling?

Nobody cares... even if I died. Nobody cares.

Of course not.

You're parents are busy now.

Stop whining. You remind me of your father.

- I know what you're thinking. - So?

- And I agree. - With what?

With everything. Your parents, the divorce...

I wasn't born yesterday.

But I would've done something, instead of whining.

I did all I could.

Oh...

Maybe if I die, my parents will reconcile on my deathbed.

Don't talk nonsense.

Granny... I thought you couldn't stand my father?

But I can't stand him. I can't.

But my daughter loves him, you love him.

Everybody loves that guy.

So...

Maybe I'm wrong.

I'm not going home.

Me neither.

What...

Did you talk to me, madam? Did you talk to me?

You're wasting your time. She is totally senile.

- My name is Sophie. And you? - It's you?

No need to talk. I'm stone deaf.

Holy shit.

Watch your mouth, nonetheless.

How do you do that?

- What? - To talk in my head.

And you? How do you do it?

I don't know.

Well, me neither.

My name is Antoine.

Shall we go for a walk, Antoine?

So what's wrong?

My parents are splitting up because I... Well...

I stole a jacket.

- Are you sure it's because of that? - Well, yes.

- They are not truly in love. - Of course they are.

- Then you have to do something. - Easy to say.

When adults are stuck in a loop, you can do nothing.

Hardships bring some people together,

but it's not our case.

I don't know what to do.

You know, you should always come full circle.

Huh?

- Aren't you ashamed of bugging old ladies? - Sorry, Antoine. I must go.

- I wasn't bugging her, we were talking. - Very funny.

- Shall we go wash up? - Bye, Antoine.

Goodbye, Sophie.

"Come full circle."

Hey, but that's not senile at all.

- Granny? - Oh... Yes?

- I think I have the idea of the century. - Oh yes? What?

- But... - What?

You must help me.

Look, Gisou, who's coming for a visit.

But it's the laddie.

Look how big he's grown.

- Your father? - No, I fell off my bike.

Oh!

He loves his dad, nonetheless.

- Huh? - Can I look around?

Of course, sweetie.

Whatever you want.

Come on.

I'm going.

Excuse me, dear, but I have to do Christmas inventory.

- Come by whenever you want. - Till soon, laddie.

But, madam...

Madam!

This little rascal just stole a jacket.

- What's it to you? - Well...

What do you care?

Obviously, she's never known misery.

- What are you talking about? - This child is unhappy.

Because his parents mistreat him?

- Absolutely. - Absolutely.

His mother earns 35000 F per month, and gets paid 14 months per year.

His father is a teacher.

I would call the police.

I know from experience...

there are things a child cannot make up.

You're cuckoo! Why are you here? I don't like your kind.

- Are you buying a leather mini skirt? - Why not?

Come, sweetie. Go home.

If you touch single button, I call the police.

Don't think twice, Antoine. Don't think twice.

Think of your parents.

We've come full circle.

Do you always do bullshit at Christmas?

Try a different store next year.

I didn't understand this story...

of alcoholic parents, unemployed, who beat their children...

I've heard that you are separated.

That must make you happy!

I don't rejoice at other people's misfortunes.

What misfortunes? We're happy to be normal.

Pierre.

What, "Pierre"?

Tell him how thrilled we are... to be normal.

We have a new problem on our hands. I'd like to resolve it quickly.

Unless what our son did is normal. If so, why are we here?

Yes, his attitude is completely normal.

It's normal that he has re-offended, and that you are separated.

It's normal that you're here.

But it's not normal that he suffers with your separation, hence he re-offended.

In short...

Last year, you said that he stole because we were a happy couple.

Now you say that he re-offends because he suffers with our separation.

Exactly.

This child is in need.

In need of what?

- Well, he's in need. - Well, it's not my fault.

"It's not my fault" It's not you who failed the fucking exam.

It's not you who screwed Sandra, and left the house.

You're a Super Woman... a Turbo Woman... and I'm a jerk!

Antoine?

Antoine?

Antoine?

Antoine?

- Stop, stop... It's my fault. - No, it's mine.

No, it's mine. True, you've changed a little.

You were perfect. I behaved like an ass... like an abandoned boy.

And I, like a monster.

Maybe we should consult Cathy.

Do you still love me a little?

Have I changed so much that you can no longer tell?

If you looked well, you'd see that I can't take it anymore.

I like my job, I won't quit, but I can't live without you.

Can't you see that anymore?

Yes... maybe... I don't know. We'll see.

You can be so annoying!

And you? What do you see?

I definitely love to see my parents kiss.

Oh no... no, no, no! That's so ridiculous.

In the middle of the street, Pierre, that's so vulgar.

Thank you, darling.

The turkey will get cold... It's dry already.

Come.

Come.

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