Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:08,399 --> 00:00:10,271
So, what do you guys think?
2
00:00:10,314 --> 00:00:13,274
Gorgeous. Oh, Sam,
the house looks great.
3
00:00:13,317 --> 00:00:14,884
Jay's parents are gonna love it.
4
00:00:14,927 --> 00:00:16,799
Thor love Christmas.
5
00:00:16,842 --> 00:00:18,844
Ever since being inside Sam.
6
00:00:18,888 --> 00:00:20,585
Aw, that's sweet.
7
00:00:20,629 --> 00:00:22,065
I'm just a little nervous.
8
00:00:22,109 --> 00:00:24,154
Sometimes I get this
feeling that Jay's mom...
9
00:00:24,198 --> 00:00:25,827
Doesn't like you?
Thinks you're annoying?
10
00:00:25,851 --> 00:00:27,133
Resents you for dragging her
son to the middle of nowhere
11
00:00:27,157 --> 00:00:28,265
to run a floundering business?
12
00:00:28,289 --> 00:00:29,986
Yes, all of that.
13
00:00:30,030 --> 00:00:31,292
Think your hair look dumb?
14
00:00:31,335 --> 00:00:32,945
We're not guessing
anymore, Thor.
15
00:00:32,989 --> 00:00:34,904
Don't get in your head,
Sam. You are a delight.
16
00:00:34,947 --> 00:00:36,273
And I'm sure Champa
is crazy about you.
17
00:00:36,297 --> 00:00:38,299
I can't wait to see
you either, Mom.
18
00:00:38,342 --> 00:00:39,691
Do you want to talk to Sam?
19
00:00:40,866 --> 00:00:42,390
Okay, see you when you get here.
20
00:00:42,433 --> 00:00:44,827
You can't feel good about
that heading into the visit.
21
00:00:44,870 --> 00:00:46,655
Ugh, her daytime
minutes are running low.
22
00:00:46,698 --> 00:00:48,700
Even we know that's not
a thing anymore, Jay.
23
00:00:48,744 --> 00:00:50,833
They should be here in a
few hours. How you feeling?
24
00:00:50,876 --> 00:00:53,096
Trying to stay positive.
25
00:00:53,140 --> 00:00:54,663
You know, I had this
dream last night
26
00:00:54,706 --> 00:00:56,143
that the visit went so well,
27
00:00:56,186 --> 00:00:58,754
your mom added me to
the family text thread.
28
00:00:58,797 --> 00:01:01,148
And this is why I go
into Jay's dreams.But...
29
00:01:01,191 --> 00:01:02,845
I won't get my hopes up.
30
00:01:02,888 --> 00:01:05,282
I know it's just you,
Bela and your parents.
31
00:01:05,325 --> 00:01:06,805
"The Core Four."
32
00:01:06,849 --> 00:01:09,025
Totally. That is the
name of the text thread.
33
00:01:09,069 --> 00:01:10,505
Why did Jay say it like that?
34
00:01:10,548 --> 00:01:12,028
Because Champa added
35
00:01:12,072 --> 00:01:13,484
Bela's boyfriend Eric
a couple months ago.
36
00:01:13,508 --> 00:01:16,163
What? Your mom added Eric?
37
00:01:16,206 --> 00:01:17,836
I was waiting for a fun
time to break the news.
38
00:01:17,860 --> 00:01:20,167
Right before the in-laws come?
You are nailing the drama.
39
00:01:20,210 --> 00:01:22,560
Uh, if you want, I could
add you to my D&D thread.
40
00:01:22,604 --> 00:01:24,432
But, you know, be cool.
41
00:01:24,475 --> 00:01:26,347
You're right, Thor,
42
00:01:26,390 --> 00:01:28,000
her hair iskind of dumb.
43
00:01:28,044 --> 00:01:32,179
Yes, you get me. Two
people, one brain.
44
00:01:32,222 --> 00:01:33,876
That's hard to argue with.
45
00:01:39,925 --> 00:01:42,841
Oh, it smells good in here.
46
00:01:42,884 --> 00:01:44,713
Although, almost
anything smells better
47
00:01:44,756 --> 00:01:47,497
than 40 cholera victims
huddled in a dank basement.
48
00:01:47,542 --> 00:01:49,370
Jay's preparing a big
meal for his parents,
49
00:01:49,413 --> 00:01:51,154
and there's a lot riding on it.
50
00:01:51,198 --> 00:01:53,113
His father is a little
skeptical about the whole
51
00:01:53,156 --> 00:01:54,853
"opening a restaurant" idea.
52
00:01:54,896 --> 00:01:56,744
Wish I could be here to
smell the finished meal.
53
00:01:56,768 --> 00:01:59,728
But I will be smelling my
adult daughter instead.
54
00:01:59,771 --> 00:02:01,097
Oh, don't love how
that was phrased.
55
00:02:01,121 --> 00:02:02,576
I'm spending
Christmas with my family
56
00:02:02,600 --> 00:02:04,080
for the first time in 40 years.
57
00:02:04,124 --> 00:02:05,404
'Cause I can leave the property.
58
00:02:05,429 --> 00:02:06,778
That's wonderful, Peter.
59
00:02:06,822 --> 00:02:08,562
It's gonna be a real
Norman Rockwell moment.
60
00:02:08,606 --> 00:02:11,218
I'm gonna watch them sing
carols and open presents,
61
00:02:11,261 --> 00:02:13,655
right up until my wiener
starts to disappear.
62
00:02:13,698 --> 00:02:15,918
That's my cue to book
it back to Woodstone.
63
00:02:15,961 --> 00:02:19,226
Okay. I put some WD-40
on the squeaky doorknob,
64
00:02:19,269 --> 00:02:21,750
I changed some light bulbs,
and I flipped the seat cushion
65
00:02:21,793 --> 00:02:23,360
you bled on when
you were playing
66
00:02:23,404 --> 00:02:24,927
with your toy sword.
It's not a toy.
67
00:02:24,970 --> 00:02:26,233
It's an authentic replica,
68
00:02:26,276 --> 00:02:28,103
and the fact that
I bled proves that.
69
00:02:28,148 --> 00:02:29,584
Well, I feel good.
70
00:02:29,627 --> 00:02:31,127
There is nothing for
your mother to criticize.
71
00:02:31,151 --> 00:02:32,543
Nancy, come quick.
72
00:02:32,587 --> 00:02:34,980
There's a problem
with the water heater.
73
00:02:35,024 --> 00:02:36,982
Damn it.
74
00:02:38,810 --> 00:02:40,856
Well, I just got off
the phone with Mark.
75
00:02:40,899 --> 00:02:42,553
He's on vacation in Fiji.
76
00:02:42,597 --> 00:02:45,513
Your contractor lives
so much better than you do.
77
00:02:45,555 --> 00:02:47,341
Did you tell him we
have no hot water?
78
00:02:47,384 --> 00:02:49,256
Yeah, and somehow
it wasn't enough
79
00:02:49,299 --> 00:02:51,432
to compel him to abandon
his family in paradise.
80
00:02:51,475 --> 00:02:53,781
Jay did ask Mark if
he knew anyone else
81
00:02:53,825 --> 00:02:55,265
that could come out
on Christmas Eve.
82
00:02:55,305 --> 00:02:56,915
But that was met by
the sound of laughter
83
00:02:56,959 --> 00:02:59,266
and what I think was a
machete opening a coconut.
84
00:02:59,309 --> 00:03:01,268
I wish
I had a machete.
85
00:03:01,311 --> 00:03:03,618
I would use it to cut
Stuart's head off.
86
00:03:03,661 --> 00:03:05,620
I'm just standing here.
87
00:03:05,663 --> 00:03:08,579
Hey, we're all saying a
lot of things right now.
88
00:03:08,623 --> 00:03:10,233
We're hurting,
because our friend,
89
00:03:10,277 --> 00:03:13,584
the water heater here,
is on death's door.
90
00:03:13,628 --> 00:03:16,413
Stay with us, girl!
You can pull through.
91
00:03:16,457 --> 00:03:18,763
We can't host your family
without a working water heater.
92
00:03:18,807 --> 00:03:20,243
This is a disaster.
93
00:03:20,287 --> 00:03:22,071
Perhaps you could just
boil water for baths.
94
00:03:22,114 --> 00:03:24,421
Basically all of us did
that our entire lives.
95
00:03:24,465 --> 00:03:26,206
I did that for both my baths.
96
00:03:26,249 --> 00:03:27,294
Sam, oh,
97
00:03:27,337 --> 00:03:28,295
what if you have
his parents stay
98
00:03:28,338 --> 00:03:29,296
at a hotel or something?
99
00:03:29,339 --> 00:03:30,775
This is a hotel.
100
00:03:30,819 --> 00:03:32,299
Yeah, but I mean,
like, a good one.
101
00:03:32,341 --> 00:03:35,171
Hey, you don't need
some fancy-pants outsider
102
00:03:35,215 --> 00:03:37,304
coming in here trying
to fix our friend.
103
00:03:37,347 --> 00:03:40,176
We know more about this
water heater than anyone.
104
00:03:40,220 --> 00:03:42,265
And with your
ability to interact
105
00:03:42,309 --> 00:03:43,745
with the physical world,
106
00:03:43,788 --> 00:03:45,790
we can talk you
through how to fix her.
107
00:03:45,834 --> 00:03:48,445
Jay, Nancy is saying she and
the other basement ghosts
108
00:03:48,489 --> 00:03:50,665
could walk us through how
to fix the water heater.
109
00:03:50,708 --> 00:03:51,927
It's worth a shot.
110
00:03:51,970 --> 00:03:53,624
I mean, what other
choice do we have?
111
00:03:56,105 --> 00:03:58,542
Mark just charged us
for that phone call.
112
00:03:58,586 --> 00:03:59,978
Merciless.
113
00:04:00,022 --> 00:04:03,199
Well, that's why he's
in Fiji and you're here.
114
00:04:03,243 --> 00:04:05,506
Do you know about
all the reindeer?
115
00:04:05,549 --> 00:04:07,856
Yeah, I know about
the reindeer, Thor.
116
00:04:07,899 --> 00:04:09,399
I don't have anything
against Christmas,
117
00:04:09,423 --> 00:04:10,946
it's just not my thing.
118
00:04:10,989 --> 00:04:12,208
I'm Jewish.
119
00:04:13,209 --> 00:04:14,515
You know about Santa?
120
00:04:14,558 --> 00:04:16,038
I'm gonna go sit
in another room.
121
00:04:18,301 --> 00:04:20,434
Thor not understand.
122
00:04:20,476 --> 00:04:23,045
I've tried everything to get
Trevor to like Christmas.
123
00:04:23,088 --> 00:04:25,308
Not everyone has to like
the same thing, Thor.
124
00:04:25,352 --> 00:04:26,744
Unless you're in a cult.
125
00:04:26,788 --> 00:04:28,355
Then you have to
like wearing purple
126
00:04:28,398 --> 00:04:30,313
and eating out of one big bowl.
127
00:04:30,357 --> 00:04:31,923
Flower right.
128
00:04:31,967 --> 00:04:33,882
Thor get carried away
with love of Christmas.
129
00:04:33,925 --> 00:04:36,711
Yule log,
Frosty Snowman,
130
00:04:36,754 --> 00:04:39,366
Virgin Mary.
131
00:04:39,409 --> 00:04:41,846
Is very fun and
festive holiday.Man.
132
00:04:41,890 --> 00:04:43,413
That Virgin Mary.
133
00:04:43,457 --> 00:04:45,807
How could anyone have
that kind of restraint?
134
00:04:46,851 --> 00:04:48,636
What you mean? I mean, like,
135
00:04:48,679 --> 00:04:50,202
she never did it?
136
00:04:50,246 --> 00:04:54,424
Well, Thor know people
with even more restraint.
137
00:04:54,468 --> 00:04:55,860
Who are you talking about?
138
00:04:57,166 --> 00:04:59,908
Thor not sure he can say.
139
00:04:59,951 --> 00:05:03,259
Thor, we're a couple now,
140
00:05:03,303 --> 00:05:05,522
which means we tell
each other everything.
141
00:05:05,566 --> 00:05:08,743
Like how I told you about
that one time I robbed a bank.
142
00:05:08,786 --> 00:05:12,921
Yes. Is very special secret
just between two of us.
143
00:05:12,964 --> 00:05:14,096
Right.
144
00:05:14,139 --> 00:05:16,533
So now you tell me your thing.
145
00:05:18,056 --> 00:05:19,275
Thor.
146
00:05:19,319 --> 00:05:21,582
Are we a couple or aren't we?
147
00:05:21,625 --> 00:05:23,366
Okay.
148
00:05:23,410 --> 00:05:27,239
If this is something
couples really must do,
149
00:05:27,283 --> 00:05:30,634
the person Thor
thinking of is...
150
00:05:30,678 --> 00:05:33,376
Sasappis.
151
00:05:33,420 --> 00:05:34,812
Oh, you mean,
152
00:05:34,856 --> 00:05:37,162
like, he never did
it when he was alive?
153
00:05:37,206 --> 00:05:39,382
Tale much sadder than that.
154
00:05:40,470 --> 00:05:43,343
Sasappis is...
155
00:05:43,386 --> 00:05:45,127
500-year-old virgin.
156
00:05:48,478 --> 00:05:50,959
I know I forget a lot of things.
157
00:05:51,002 --> 00:05:53,135
And I really hope
this is one of them.
158
00:05:53,178 --> 00:05:54,615
Yeah.
159
00:05:54,658 --> 00:05:57,269
Okay, you see the
thermostatic gas valve?
160
00:05:57,313 --> 00:05:59,968
Nancy's asking if you can see
the thermostatic gas valve.
161
00:06:00,011 --> 00:06:01,361
I have no idea what that is.
162
00:06:01,404 --> 00:06:03,363
Oh, fine.
163
00:06:03,406 --> 00:06:05,321
I'll describe it like
I'm talking to a Stuart.
164
00:06:05,365 --> 00:06:07,192
Tell Jay to take the cover off
165
00:06:07,236 --> 00:06:09,760
the little square thing
next to the blue piece.
166
00:06:09,804 --> 00:06:11,936
She says take the cover
off the little square thing
167
00:06:11,980 --> 00:06:13,242
next to the blue piece.
168
00:06:13,285 --> 00:06:14,983
They turned off
the power, right?
169
00:06:15,026 --> 00:06:17,202
I mean, what kind of
idiot wouldn't turn...?
170
00:06:20,162 --> 00:06:22,120
Oh, my God! Sam! Jay!
171
00:06:22,164 --> 00:06:23,905
Oh, you imbecile, Nancy!
172
00:06:23,948 --> 00:06:26,211
What kind of directions
were those? Wait.
173
00:06:26,255 --> 00:06:28,170
Where is Nancy?
174
00:06:28,213 --> 00:06:30,738
She's... gone.
175
00:06:30,781 --> 00:06:32,348
What are you talking about?
176
00:06:32,392 --> 00:06:33,828
I'm right here.
177
00:06:33,871 --> 00:06:36,657
Holy heck, I think
Nancy possessed Sam.
178
00:06:36,700 --> 00:06:38,963
Well,
isn't that a pickle?
179
00:06:40,008 --> 00:06:41,488
Where is Peter?
180
00:06:41,531 --> 00:06:43,620
Where are all the ghosts?
181
00:06:43,664 --> 00:06:45,796
Wait a minute.
182
00:06:45,840 --> 00:06:47,189
Oh, golly.
183
00:06:47,232 --> 00:06:49,409
Oh, my God, Pete's
inside of Jay.
184
00:06:51,454 --> 00:06:54,849
Ladies and gentlemen.
And basement ghosts.
185
00:06:56,111 --> 00:06:59,419
We have... a
double possession.
186
00:07:01,899 --> 00:07:03,640
Why
are we clapping?
187
00:07:03,684 --> 00:07:06,600
I don't know. It
just feels momentous.
188
00:07:13,171 --> 00:07:15,260
Wait, remind me, wh-who
is inside of who again?
189
00:07:15,304 --> 00:07:18,568
Pay attention,
Stuart! You idiot!
190
00:07:18,612 --> 00:07:21,484
Okay, so Nancy is in
the good-smelling lady.
191
00:07:21,528 --> 00:07:24,400
Oh, my God. Jay.
192
00:07:24,444 --> 00:07:26,054
I think I got
possessed by Nancy.
193
00:07:26,097 --> 00:07:27,664
Got to stop you
right there, Sam.
194
00:07:27,707 --> 00:07:30,493
I'm not your husband. I'm
your ghost daddy Pete.
195
00:07:30,537 --> 00:07:32,060
And Pete is inside of Jay.
196
00:07:32,103 --> 00:07:34,236
What? This is a disaster.
197
00:07:34,279 --> 00:07:36,064
Jay's parents are gonna
be here any second.
198
00:07:36,107 --> 00:07:38,762
Well, we've been here before.
We know what the remedy is.
199
00:07:38,806 --> 00:07:41,199
You must simply drive
across the ghost boundary
200
00:07:41,243 --> 00:07:43,245
and expel these spirits
from their hosts.
201
00:07:43,288 --> 00:07:44,918
We need to fix this before
Champa and Mahesh get here.
202
00:07:44,942 --> 00:07:46,378
To the Mini.
203
00:07:46,422 --> 00:07:48,337
Whoa, a little hiccup in
your plan there, Sammy.
204
00:07:48,380 --> 00:07:51,427
I think we're all forgetting
about my ghost power.
205
00:07:51,471 --> 00:07:52,558
Oh, my God, he's right.
206
00:07:52,602 --> 00:07:54,038
Driving across the boundary
207
00:07:54,082 --> 00:07:55,997
probably won't eject
Pete out of Jay's body.
208
00:07:56,040 --> 00:07:58,869
Because he can leave
the property...
209
00:07:58,913 --> 00:08:02,743
Whoa, wearing shoes feels crazy.
210
00:08:02,786 --> 00:08:05,920
It's like my feet are
in tiny foot prisons.
211
00:08:05,963 --> 00:08:07,269
This is so weird.
212
00:08:07,312 --> 00:08:08,749
In the early stages
of a possession,
213
00:08:08,792 --> 00:08:10,794
it's somewhat random
which soul will surface
214
00:08:10,838 --> 00:08:13,014
and seize control of the body.
215
00:08:13,057 --> 00:08:15,451
But the longer it continues,
the more likely it is
216
00:08:15,495 --> 00:08:18,106
a ghost will learn how
to suppress the host.
217
00:08:18,149 --> 00:08:20,500
Which is why we got to get
Nancy out of Sam right away.
218
00:08:20,543 --> 00:08:21,936
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
219
00:08:23,241 --> 00:08:25,287
Oh, and there are
Samantha's in-laws.
220
00:08:27,158 --> 00:08:28,290
Sam?
221
00:08:28,332 --> 00:08:30,205
I think that's my parents.
222
00:08:30,248 --> 00:08:33,034
It's so weird how my
butt doesn't itch.
223
00:08:33,077 --> 00:08:34,818
Oh, this is gonna
be interesting.
224
00:08:34,861 --> 00:08:36,994
Nancy... I can't believe
I'm calling you that...
225
00:08:37,038 --> 00:08:38,648
please just don't
do anything weird
226
00:08:38,692 --> 00:08:40,844
for the next five minutes,
while we deal with my parents.
227
00:08:40,868 --> 00:08:42,826
Oh, what's in it
for me, Sweetcheeks?
228
00:08:42,870 --> 00:08:45,220
What do you want? Guacamole.
229
00:08:45,263 --> 00:08:46,656
What? You heard me.
230
00:08:46,700 --> 00:08:49,616
It smells amazing, and
I want to stuff some
231
00:08:49,659 --> 00:08:51,139
in your wife's mouth hole.
232
00:08:51,182 --> 00:08:53,184
Okay. You get through
the next five minutes,
233
00:08:53,228 --> 00:08:54,577
you get guacamole.
234
00:08:54,621 --> 00:08:56,163
And then we drive through
the ghost boundary
235
00:08:56,187 --> 00:08:58,407
and get you out of
my wife. Deal? Deal.
236
00:08:59,887 --> 00:09:03,847
Tell tales of guacamole
upon your return!
237
00:09:03,891 --> 00:09:05,501
So...
238
00:09:05,545 --> 00:09:07,329
how was the drive?
239
00:09:07,372 --> 00:09:08,939
Expensive.
240
00:09:08,983 --> 00:09:11,507
Our car depreciated
$10,000 on the way up here.
241
00:09:11,551 --> 00:09:12,552
He's upset
242
00:09:12,595 --> 00:09:13,901
because we bought a new car.
243
00:09:13,944 --> 00:09:15,293
The Toyota was fine.
244
00:09:15,337 --> 00:09:16,991
It had 150,000 miles on it.
245
00:09:17,034 --> 00:09:19,297
That's nothing. I put
200,000 on my Skylark
246
00:09:19,341 --> 00:09:21,604
and it still purred
like a kitten. Meow.
247
00:09:21,648 --> 00:09:23,519
When did you have a Skylark?
248
00:09:23,563 --> 00:09:26,348
Well, I for one
love the new car.
249
00:09:26,391 --> 00:09:28,002
And great choice on
the color, Champa.
250
00:09:28,045 --> 00:09:29,177
The black is really cool.
251
00:09:29,220 --> 00:09:30,700
I wanted red.
252
00:09:31,745 --> 00:09:33,703
Boy, Champa does
not give an inch.
253
00:09:33,747 --> 00:09:35,531
So, when do Bela
and Eric get here?
254
00:09:35,575 --> 00:09:36,943
Bela's coming
in a few hours.
255
00:09:36,967 --> 00:09:40,057
Eric, however,
won't be joining us.
256
00:09:40,101 --> 00:09:41,798
Oh, that's a surprise.
257
00:09:41,842 --> 00:09:43,713
I guess some people
don't prioritize family
258
00:09:43,757 --> 00:09:45,585
around the holidays, like I do.
259
00:09:45,628 --> 00:09:46,586
Well, actually,
260
00:09:46,629 --> 00:09:47,891
he's in India
261
00:09:47,935 --> 00:09:49,806
building a school in
my childhood village.
262
00:09:51,242 --> 00:09:52,983
An attack brutally repelled,
263
00:09:53,027 --> 00:09:56,378
which I recognize from my many
successful retreats.
264
00:09:56,421 --> 00:09:59,860
I saved a lot of lives
after I imperiled them.
265
00:09:59,903 --> 00:10:02,689
Maybe we could put our
bags down and freshen up?
266
00:10:02,732 --> 00:10:04,516
Yeah, for sure. But
one little thing:
267
00:10:04,560 --> 00:10:06,886
our water heater just broke,
so we don't have any hot water.
268
00:10:06,910 --> 00:10:08,695
But don't worry, we're
gonna replace it.
269
00:10:08,738 --> 00:10:11,132
Like hell you are!
270
00:10:11,175 --> 00:10:12,699
That water heater has been
271
00:10:12,742 --> 00:10:14,265
delivering the goods
272
00:10:14,309 --> 00:10:16,398
since before you were
born, pretty boy.
273
00:10:16,441 --> 00:10:17,573
Guacamole, Nancy.
274
00:10:17,617 --> 00:10:19,053
I-I mean,
275
00:10:19,096 --> 00:10:22,056
I-I don't have strong
feelings about water heaters.
276
00:10:22,099 --> 00:10:23,492
I'll be in the kitchen.
277
00:10:23,535 --> 00:10:25,407
Ugh!
278
00:10:25,450 --> 00:10:26,713
These shoes.
279
00:10:26,756 --> 00:10:28,628
How do people live like this?
280
00:10:29,629 --> 00:10:30,978
Is she okay?
281
00:10:31,021 --> 00:10:32,608
Uh, she just took some
allergy medication
282
00:10:32,632 --> 00:10:33,894
and I think it's kicking in.
283
00:10:33,937 --> 00:10:36,026
And, um, to be honest, Mom,
284
00:10:36,070 --> 00:10:38,159
it wouldn't kill you
to be a little nicer.
285
00:10:38,202 --> 00:10:39,639
What are you talking about?
286
00:10:39,682 --> 00:10:42,032
Aw, Jay's defending Sam.
287
00:10:42,076 --> 00:10:43,381
Come on, Mom. I-I love you,
288
00:10:43,425 --> 00:10:45,383
but you're always
subtly criticizing her.
289
00:10:45,427 --> 00:10:48,256
And then you added Eric
to the family text chain.
290
00:10:48,299 --> 00:10:50,432
No, no, Eric has a
lot of good qualities.
291
00:10:50,475 --> 00:10:52,608
He is an accomplished
professional
292
00:10:52,652 --> 00:10:54,436
in a stable industry.
293
00:10:54,479 --> 00:10:55,959
I think I know
where this is going.
294
00:10:56,003 --> 00:10:58,745
A B and B is risky enough,
295
00:10:58,788 --> 00:11:01,356
but a restaurant
on top of all that?
296
00:11:01,399 --> 00:11:03,663
The B and B is
doing really well.
297
00:11:03,706 --> 00:11:05,577
You currently have
a "book one night,
298
00:11:05,621 --> 00:11:07,754
get six free" promotion.
299
00:11:07,797 --> 00:11:09,320
And as for the restaurant,
300
00:11:09,364 --> 00:11:10,931
I'm cooking the menu
for you tonight,
301
00:11:10,974 --> 00:11:12,280
and after you guys try the food,
302
00:11:12,323 --> 00:11:14,543
I promise you, you
will not be worried.
303
00:11:14,586 --> 00:11:16,023
Why did someone throw away
304
00:11:16,066 --> 00:11:18,112
these perfectly
good banana peels?
305
00:11:18,155 --> 00:11:19,983
They're delicious.
306
00:11:20,027 --> 00:11:21,637
Hard to explain that one away.
307
00:11:21,681 --> 00:11:22,725
Pivot, Jay. Pivot.
308
00:11:22,769 --> 00:11:24,161
I'll take you up to your room.
309
00:11:24,205 --> 00:11:25,554
Whew. There we go.
310
00:11:28,470 --> 00:11:30,037
And that was the holiday classic
311
00:11:30,080 --> 00:11:31,516
When Harry Met Sally.
312
00:11:31,560 --> 00:11:33,910
Thor think movie
make good point.
313
00:11:33,954 --> 00:11:36,652
Men and women can
never truly be friends.
314
00:11:36,696 --> 00:11:37,784
Hard agree.
315
00:11:37,827 --> 00:11:40,047
Sex always ruins friendships.
316
00:11:40,090 --> 00:11:42,832
Which is why I don't
have any hot friends.
317
00:11:42,876 --> 00:11:44,790
Up top. Ah, you know it.
318
00:11:44,834 --> 00:11:47,010
I know it. 'Cause I've done it.
319
00:11:47,054 --> 00:11:48,490
43 times.
320
00:11:48,533 --> 00:11:50,144
This is so sad.
321
00:11:50,187 --> 00:11:51,362
What?
322
00:11:51,406 --> 00:11:53,713
Uh, all this talk
323
00:11:53,756 --> 00:11:56,498
makes Thor feel very amorous.
324
00:11:56,540 --> 00:11:58,674
Want to lay with
Flower right now.
325
00:11:58,718 --> 00:12:01,416
Trevor, Sass, please leave.
326
00:12:01,459 --> 00:12:03,157
Okay. Rude. Hey, I get it.
327
00:12:03,200 --> 00:12:04,680
You know, I've been there.
328
00:12:04,724 --> 00:12:06,116
When you got to have it.
329
00:12:06,160 --> 00:12:07,639
And then afterwards.
330
00:12:07,683 --> 00:12:09,946
Wh-When you've, when
you've just had it.
331
00:12:10,947 --> 00:12:13,036
We should give
them their privacy.
332
00:12:18,041 --> 00:12:19,608
Flower, what's wrong with you?
333
00:12:19,651 --> 00:12:20,783
You almost blow it.
334
00:12:20,827 --> 00:12:22,021
We need to do something, Thor.
335
00:12:22,045 --> 00:12:23,830
I can't live with
this knowledge.
336
00:12:23,873 --> 00:12:26,006
Technically you're
not living with it.
337
00:12:26,049 --> 00:12:28,617
I got it. It's Christmas.
338
00:12:28,660 --> 00:12:30,010
So let's get him a gift.
339
00:12:30,053 --> 00:12:32,490
And solve his
500-year-old problem.
340
00:12:32,534 --> 00:12:34,188
What you mean?
341
00:12:34,231 --> 00:12:35,972
I mean, let's find
someone to help him out.
342
00:12:36,016 --> 00:12:39,410
Okay, but who? That is question.
343
00:12:39,454 --> 00:12:42,718
Yeah, we don't want to risk
him being rejected or hurt.
344
00:12:42,762 --> 00:12:47,462
Yeah, we need someone
who is "sure thing."
345
00:12:48,898 --> 00:12:51,248
What do you want me to do?
346
00:12:51,292 --> 00:12:53,120
It's for Christmas.
347
00:12:55,252 --> 00:12:56,882
Okay, so
they're gonna get Nancy out
348
00:12:56,906 --> 00:12:58,429
by driving across
the ghost boundary,
349
00:12:58,473 --> 00:13:00,562
but how will they
get Pete out of Jay?
350
00:13:00,605 --> 00:13:03,086
They'll have to do it the
old-fashioned way: an exorcism.
351
00:13:03,130 --> 00:13:05,741
Ugh, it doesn't get any
more Christmassy than that.
352
00:13:05,785 --> 00:13:08,265
To be fair, though, Pete's
been a polite possessor.
353
00:13:08,309 --> 00:13:10,267
He's hardly even been
a problem for Jay.
354
00:13:10,311 --> 00:13:11,573
On the other hand...
355
00:13:11,616 --> 00:13:14,097
Mmm! This is incredible!
356
00:13:14,141 --> 00:13:15,882
She's not even using chips.
357
00:13:15,925 --> 00:13:17,144
Why can't I look away?
358
00:13:17,187 --> 00:13:18,406
Okay, my parents are upstairs.
359
00:13:18,449 --> 00:13:20,495
Now let's get Nancy out of you.
360
00:13:20,538 --> 00:13:23,411
I don't think so.
I want more time!
361
00:13:23,454 --> 00:13:24,760
We had a deal.
362
00:13:24,804 --> 00:13:26,762
But there's too
many things to try.
363
00:13:26,806 --> 00:13:29,243
Popsicles, gum, toilet paper.
364
00:13:29,286 --> 00:13:31,898
Sam, are you in there?
I need you back, babe.
365
00:13:31,941 --> 00:13:33,247
Sam's not home right now.
366
00:13:33,290 --> 00:13:34,770
Would you like to
leave a message?
367
00:13:34,814 --> 00:13:37,381
It's as we feared.
They've waited too long,
368
00:13:37,425 --> 00:13:39,819
and now Nancy has figured
out how to suppress her host.
369
00:13:39,862 --> 00:13:41,255
Oh, this is not good.
370
00:13:41,298 --> 00:13:43,431
Hey, guys. Hiya, toots.
371
00:13:43,474 --> 00:13:45,607
Jay, your father needs help
upstairs with the Wi-Fi.
372
00:13:45,650 --> 00:13:47,087
In the meantime, Samantha,
373
00:13:47,130 --> 00:13:48,629
I was thinking it would
be nice if we spent
374
00:13:48,653 --> 00:13:50,438
some one-on-one time together.
375
00:13:50,481 --> 00:13:52,962
And I'm free right now. I
could make us some chai.
376
00:13:53,006 --> 00:13:54,790
I don't think now
is a great time.
377
00:13:54,834 --> 00:13:56,966
What are you talking
about? I'd love to.
378
00:13:57,010 --> 00:13:58,663
You-You're...
379
00:13:58,707 --> 00:14:00,361
Just... Mom, can you
give us ten minutes?
380
00:14:00,404 --> 00:14:03,407
Jayanth, you asked me to
try, and this is me trying.
381
00:14:03,451 --> 00:14:05,148
Now go help your father.
382
00:14:05,192 --> 00:14:08,282
All right, I guess I'm
just gonna let this happen.
383
00:14:08,325 --> 00:14:10,066
Ooh, there's no
way this goes well.
384
00:14:10,110 --> 00:14:11,783
And yet it's not going
to make things better
385
00:14:11,807 --> 00:14:13,635
if we don'tstay and watch.
386
00:14:13,678 --> 00:14:15,985
So, this chai, is
it like guacamole?
387
00:14:17,160 --> 00:14:18,988
Oh, we watching.
388
00:14:24,167 --> 00:14:26,126
You sure you don't
want a fistful, Champa?
389
00:14:26,169 --> 00:14:27,954
No, no, I'm good.
390
00:14:27,997 --> 00:14:31,479
Nancy! This is a huge bonding
opportunity for Samantha.
391
00:14:31,522 --> 00:14:32,962
You are being very
selfish right now,
392
00:14:33,002 --> 00:14:34,545
not letting her be in
control of the body.
393
00:14:34,569 --> 00:14:35,962
To be fair, Samantha
wasn't doing
394
00:14:36,005 --> 00:14:38,268
that well with Champa
all on her own.
395
00:14:39,661 --> 00:14:42,490
Damn, that's hot! My throat!
396
00:14:42,533 --> 00:14:44,144
That's why generally
people sip it.
397
00:14:44,187 --> 00:14:47,147
Whatever, this
body's just a rental.
398
00:14:47,190 --> 00:14:49,671
Well, that's an interesting
way of looking at things.
399
00:14:49,714 --> 00:14:51,847
Sort of profound, actually.
400
00:14:51,891 --> 00:14:53,631
Did it just accidentally
score some points?
401
00:14:53,675 --> 00:14:55,024
That's fortuitous.
402
00:14:55,068 --> 00:14:56,939
Hey, if you're not
gonna drink your chai...
403
00:14:56,983 --> 00:14:58,506
Oh, I'm
glad you like it.
404
00:14:58,549 --> 00:15:00,508
Mahesh says I make it too sweet.
405
00:15:00,551 --> 00:15:01,683
He's an idiot.
406
00:15:01,726 --> 00:15:03,598
This crap rules.
407
00:15:03,641 --> 00:15:07,515
It does. And he is sometimes.
408
00:15:07,558 --> 00:15:09,169
Well, I'll tell you one thing.
409
00:15:09,212 --> 00:15:10,822
He's lucky to have you.
410
00:15:10,866 --> 00:15:13,086
Talk about keeping it tight.
411
00:15:13,129 --> 00:15:15,653
Okay, that is not something
Samantha would say.
412
00:15:15,697 --> 00:15:19,048
Talk about pumpkin spice.
Talk about... beige.
413
00:15:19,092 --> 00:15:20,876
Our girl is dull.
414
00:15:20,920 --> 00:15:22,360
Well, I'm actually
in a walking club.
415
00:15:22,399 --> 00:15:23,986
It's just me and a
couple of other friends.
416
00:15:24,010 --> 00:15:26,621
Is it me, or is Champa
actually enjoying herself?
417
00:15:26,664 --> 00:15:29,189
We try to get in
10,000 steps a day.
418
00:15:29,232 --> 00:15:32,453
Damn! Yesterday I
didn't move at all.
419
00:15:32,496 --> 00:15:35,717
I just stood in the basement
watching the water heater.
420
00:15:35,760 --> 00:15:38,763
Can I be
honest with you?
421
00:15:40,287 --> 00:15:44,204
Normally, you are so
uptight and you try so hard.
422
00:15:44,247 --> 00:15:46,554
I don't know what it is,
but you seem different.
423
00:15:46,597 --> 00:15:50,036
You seem, like, just
relaxed and carefree.
424
00:15:50,079 --> 00:15:51,733
Oh, my God.
425
00:15:51,776 --> 00:15:54,388
Champa prefers the
basement gremlin.
426
00:15:54,431 --> 00:15:56,346
I'm drinking tea with
a fine-ass old lady,
427
00:15:56,390 --> 00:15:59,045
I got no itchy open sores,
428
00:15:59,088 --> 00:16:01,569
and, frankly, I'm just
happy to be alive.
429
00:16:01,612 --> 00:16:04,441
Hear, hear. It's a good reminder
430
00:16:04,485 --> 00:16:07,009
to be grateful for the
small things in life.
431
00:16:07,053 --> 00:16:09,446
How is this working?!
432
00:16:11,318 --> 00:16:14,451
Hey there, slugger. It's
your Christmas Carol.
433
00:16:14,495 --> 00:16:16,236
'Cause I'm Carol.
434
00:16:16,279 --> 00:16:18,760
Yeah, that's clever. Hey, Carol.
435
00:16:18,803 --> 00:16:22,764
Listen, your friends
Thor and Flower
436
00:16:22,807 --> 00:16:25,680
filled me in on your
little situation.
437
00:16:25,723 --> 00:16:26,942
Excuse me?
438
00:16:26,986 --> 00:16:28,422
I told them I would
think about it,
439
00:16:28,465 --> 00:16:31,077
but I don't think
it's a good idea.
440
00:16:31,120 --> 00:16:33,688
Would we have fun? Hmm. Sure.
441
00:16:33,731 --> 00:16:35,037
But the truth is,
442
00:16:35,081 --> 00:16:36,996
I don't think you
can handle this.
443
00:16:37,039 --> 00:16:39,085
You wouldn't climb Everest
444
00:16:39,128 --> 00:16:41,435
the first time you
went on a hike.
445
00:16:41,478 --> 00:16:44,003
What are you talking about?
446
00:16:44,046 --> 00:16:46,353
I'm saying that I
think your first time
447
00:16:46,396 --> 00:16:48,572
should be with someone special.
448
00:16:49,660 --> 00:16:51,053
Also, I'm married,
449
00:16:51,097 --> 00:16:52,881
but it is kind of an open thing.
450
00:16:52,924 --> 00:16:55,144
I'm sorry, Carol, I have
to go talk to somebody.
451
00:16:58,147 --> 00:17:00,106
Did you try to get
Carol to sleep with me?
452
00:17:00,149 --> 00:17:01,977
Merry Christmas!
453
00:17:02,021 --> 00:17:03,892
Did she do it? How was it?
454
00:17:03,935 --> 00:17:06,460
Nothing happened. Thor, I
told you all that in private.
455
00:17:06,502 --> 00:17:08,330
This was a secret
between you and me.
456
00:17:08,375 --> 00:17:09,723
Well, don't be mad at Thor.
457
00:17:09,767 --> 00:17:11,943
It was my idea to
ask Carol to help.
458
00:17:11,987 --> 00:17:13,815
And it's nothing to
be ashamed of, Sass.
459
00:17:13,858 --> 00:17:15,991
It's just sad and weird.
460
00:17:16,035 --> 00:17:18,166
And why did you tell Flower?
461
00:17:18,211 --> 00:17:19,386
Because she my girlfriend,
462
00:17:19,429 --> 00:17:21,474
and that what you
do with girlfriend.
463
00:17:21,518 --> 00:17:23,303
You tell them things.
464
00:17:23,346 --> 00:17:25,000
Maybe you not know because...
465
00:17:25,044 --> 00:17:26,435
Don't you dare.
466
00:17:26,480 --> 00:17:28,308
Okay, this is the
most messed-up thing
467
00:17:28,351 --> 00:17:29,831
you've ever done, Thor.
468
00:17:29,874 --> 00:17:31,833
I can't even look
at you right now!
469
00:17:33,139 --> 00:17:36,142
Guy really pent up. Makes sense.
470
00:17:36,185 --> 00:17:38,840
What do you say we go grab
lunch together in town,
471
00:17:38,883 --> 00:17:40,102
just the two of us?
472
00:17:40,146 --> 00:17:41,495
Uh, no, thanks.
473
00:17:41,538 --> 00:17:43,497
I-I don't like to
leave the property.
474
00:17:43,540 --> 00:17:45,847
What? Samantha,
come back to us.
475
00:17:45,890 --> 00:17:48,632
This is surely a stepping stone
to a textual thread invitation.
476
00:17:48,676 --> 00:17:50,025
All your very modest dreams
477
00:17:50,069 --> 00:17:51,548
are about to come
true, Samantha.
478
00:17:53,463 --> 00:17:55,335
Actually, I would love to go.
479
00:17:55,378 --> 00:17:57,119
Okay.
480
00:17:57,163 --> 00:17:59,078
Then why don't you
drive my new car?
481
00:17:59,121 --> 00:18:00,862
I'll go get my purse.
482
00:18:00,905 --> 00:18:02,187
Champa's letting
Sam drive the Audi?
483
00:18:02,211 --> 00:18:03,691
She loves that thing
more than Bela.
484
00:18:05,127 --> 00:18:06,713
Like hell you're taking
us off the property!
485
00:18:07,825 --> 00:18:09,349
Oh!
486
00:18:11,133 --> 00:18:12,917
I said enough!
487
00:18:14,832 --> 00:18:18,097
Sam, stop choking yourself
and start the vehicle!
488
00:18:19,446 --> 00:18:21,883
Oh! Did Sam just punch
herself in the face?
489
00:18:23,319 --> 00:18:24,233
This is one of my
favorite Wednesdays
490
00:18:24,277 --> 00:18:25,191
I've ever followed her.
491
00:18:26,583 --> 00:18:30,021
Sam? Sam? Sam!
492
00:18:30,065 --> 00:18:32,763
What are you doing?!
493
00:18:34,852 --> 00:18:36,550
Whoa!
494
00:18:40,815 --> 00:18:41,903
Sam.
495
00:18:43,687 --> 00:18:45,254
My sweet baby.
496
00:18:45,298 --> 00:18:46,734
I'm okay.
497
00:18:46,777 --> 00:18:49,302
I was talking about the Audi!
498
00:18:49,345 --> 00:18:50,955
Welcome back, Nancy.
499
00:18:50,999 --> 00:18:52,957
Yeah. Eh, had to end sometime.
500
00:18:53,001 --> 00:18:54,394
Oh, well.
501
00:18:54,437 --> 00:18:57,092
I'll always have guacamole.
502
00:18:57,136 --> 00:18:59,486
Should we take my car to lunch?
503
00:19:02,880 --> 00:19:05,840
Yeah, I think it goes without
saying that lunch is off.
504
00:19:10,323 --> 00:19:12,214
And that is
how you perform a home exorcis.
505
00:19:12,238 --> 00:19:14,085
If you liked this, please check
out my other how-to videos,
506
00:19:14,109 --> 00:19:17,199
including "DIY Vampire Killing"
and "Rom-Com Writing Made Easy."
507
00:19:17,243 --> 00:19:18,418
Here we go.
508
00:19:18,461 --> 00:19:19,767
You ready, Jay?
509
00:19:19,810 --> 00:19:22,117
Babe, are the restraints
really necessary?
510
00:19:22,161 --> 00:19:23,553
I'm a willing participant
511
00:19:23,597 --> 00:19:25,773
with a consenting
ghost inside of me.
512
00:19:25,816 --> 00:19:28,384
I just want to do it
exactly how the video says.
513
00:19:28,428 --> 00:19:31,213
Agreed. ExorcismFan666
really seems
514
00:19:31,257 --> 00:19:32,823
like she knows what
she's talking about.
515
00:19:32,867 --> 00:19:34,782
I can't believe I
crashed your mom's car
516
00:19:34,825 --> 00:19:36,784
just as I was starting
to make headway.
517
00:19:36,827 --> 00:19:39,178
Well, technically Nancy
was making headway.
518
00:19:39,221 --> 00:19:41,919
Even in these difficult
times, we must be precise.
519
00:19:41,963 --> 00:19:43,530
Haven't you said that before?
520
00:19:43,573 --> 00:19:46,446
I've been dead for 130
years, I will repeat myself.
521
00:19:46,489 --> 00:19:48,404
Ooh! Uh, hey there.
522
00:19:48,448 --> 00:19:50,537
Uh, Pete here, just back
in the driver's seat.
523
00:19:50,580 --> 00:19:52,843
Can I get one last
hit of that s'more?
524
00:19:54,149 --> 00:19:56,804
Here you go.
525
00:19:58,284 --> 00:20:00,286
Oh, mama, that's the stuff.
526
00:20:00,329 --> 00:20:02,984
Okay, see you on the other side.
527
00:20:03,027 --> 00:20:05,421
Okay, let's do this.
"Evil spirit..."
528
00:20:05,465 --> 00:20:06,988
Sorry, Pete. That's
just what it says
529
00:20:07,031 --> 00:20:08,555
to say.
530
00:20:08,598 --> 00:20:10,296
"Evil spirit, I
hereby banish you
531
00:20:10,339 --> 00:20:12,123
"from the flesh of this mortal.
532
00:20:12,167 --> 00:20:15,344
In nomine Patris, et
Filii, et Spiritus Sancti."
533
00:20:15,388 --> 00:20:18,260
Hmm, Latin. We learned that
to make laws and stuff.
534
00:20:18,304 --> 00:20:21,350
Now all together,
"Begone, begone, begone."
535
00:20:21,394 --> 00:20:24,223
Begone, begone, begone.
536
00:20:27,530 --> 00:20:28,879
Did it work?
537
00:20:28,923 --> 00:20:30,925
Wait. Why is my body
still over there?
538
00:20:30,968 --> 00:20:33,319
Oh, my God.
539
00:20:33,362 --> 00:20:35,016
Holy Toledo.
540
00:20:35,059 --> 00:20:36,428
I think I'm the only
one in here.
541
00:20:36,452 --> 00:20:38,324
Oh, crap.
542
00:20:38,367 --> 00:20:40,282
We expelled the wrong spirit.
543
00:20:40,326 --> 00:20:42,153
Seriously?
544
00:20:46,810 --> 00:20:49,509
Captioning sponsored by CBS
545
00:20:49,552 --> 00:20:52,294
and TOYOTA.
546
00:20:52,338 --> 00:20:55,341
Captioned by Media Access
Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org
37148
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.