All language subtitles for Episode 1 - Cocaine Blues

(Groans)

Alice!

Alice!

(Groans)

You don't understand, Dot.

(Groans)

You don't understand at all.

Help me...

If it isn't the Honourable
Miss Phryne Fisher!

About time!

How are the Antipodes?

They've missed you desperately.
So they damn well should.

Oh, travelling light again.

Must be some advantage
to a sea voyage

otherwise I would have joined
the Avro air race.

Paper!

Paper!

What are your intentions? You've had
three months at sea to ponder.

Well, I intend to leave my family
as far behind as possible.

I think you've managed that. Next?

Well, I could learn Abyssinian.

Or perfect my barefoot dancing.

We both know why you're here.

Darling, you can't bring Janey back.

(Knock on door)

But I can stop him doing it again.

Premier Hogan is a regular guest
of this establishment.

Straight to the top, then.

Miss Fisher?

Thank you.

A luncheon. Today?!

With Lydia Andrews. How lovely.

Oh. And Aunt Prudence.

Shame I have to perform
an urgent bowel operation.

Miss Phryne Fisher to see
Miss Lydia Andrews.

She's expecting me.

Sorry, Miss... Fisher.

The luncheon's been cancelled
due to a family tragedy.

What kind of tragedy?

Mr Andrews passed away this morning.

Oh, Phryne!

Awful this, all this.

It's alright.

If there's anything I can do.

He just collapsed.

Well, we thought it was his heart

but then the police have been here
all morning.

Poor darling man.

Dear, we need tea.

Aunt Prudence.
Phryne, dear.

(Sighs) Hardly recognised
the child in you.

Apart from the length of your skirt.

Whereas you haven't changed one jot,
Aunt Prudence.

Smooth passage?
So far.

Have you seen a doctor?
You look terribly pale.

I've felt dreadful,
even before John collapsed.

As if I knew something was coming.

Excuse me, madam.

That detective wants to speak with you again.

So what on earth happened?

Now, you know I'm not one to pry

but I couldn't help
overhearing in the hallway.

It seems that John collapsed suddenly

after a light breakfast of tea
and cumquat marmalade toast.

And the maid found him purple
in the face and cold to the touch

on the bathroom floor.

The police obviously suspect
his death had a helping hand.

I'm sorry, the inspector would like
all visitors to leave

so that he may question the household.

Very well.

Excuse me.

Uh, excuse me, miss. Your...

Ta, then.
Uh, excuse me, miss!

You can't... Oh!
I just need the powder room.

I... No, I'm sorry but my instructions...

No-one's to pass this point.

I understand perfectly.

Though, my bladder may not.

I'll just...
I'll just check with the inspector.

Just...

(Knock on door)

This lavatory's fully occupied!

MAN: Police! Open up.

(Knock on door)

You must be the inspector.

Apologies for
my urgent call of nature.

This is the scene of a crime.

Well, lucky for you,
I'm wearing gloves.

Miss Phryne Fisher.

I assume you weren't close
to the deceased.

Never had the pleasure but
by all accounts he was charming.

Do you think it was poison?

Most likely... We are yet
to determine the cause of death.

Miss Fisher, I appreciate
your curiosity for crime.

Well, every lady needs a hobby.
But please...

Given the lack of blood stains,
I assume it wasn't a violent death

unless of course it was strangulation

but the foetal position
of the victim outline,

although not terribly well executed,
indicates a degree of pain

rather than the flailing limbs
one might associate with a struggle.

And then of course there's the fact
that death occurred after breakfast

according to Mrs Andrews
which suggests something ingested?

Oh, wild surmise, of course.

Of course. Now...
Do you have a card?

In case I need to call the police.

Because I'm a woman alone.

Newly arrived in a dangerous town.

I plan to make this town
less dangerous, Miss Fisher.

Good.

I do like a man with a plan.

Detective Inspector Jack Robinson.

Taxi!

Richmond.
She'll give you any directions.

Keep the change.

Where do you live, sweetheart?

Hey, wakey-wakey.

Wake up, love!

Oh, no, Bert. She's bleeding
all over me bleeding upholstery.

(Phone rings)

LYDIA: Telephone, Dot!

Dorothy!

Sorry, madam,
the caller stopped calling.

Let me know if I can help
with the funeral arrangements.

Thank you. I can highly recommend
the people who lay down Edward.

Lydia.
Sasha!

I heard the terrible news.

Oh. Apologies, Mrs Stanley.

My manners, well,
they have deserted me.

Oh, it's quite alright, Sasha.
We're all distraught.

May I present my niece,
the Honourable Miss Fisher.

Pleased to meet you.
Enchante.

My God! The soiree.
Oh!

(Sighs) Lydia has planned a charity
soiree for tomorrow evening.

Sasha is engaged to dance for us.
Uh, yes, but now I...

No, everything must be cancelled
of course.

If only the hospital committee
weren't absolutely depending on it.

Tell them Lydia's just been widowed.

If only she weren't so good
at raising thousands of pounds.

And goodness knows how we're
to contact the guest list in time.

Her guests will understand.

John would want us
to go ahead with it.

I know, Phryne and I will take over
all the arrangements

and host the entire evening
on your behalf, won't we, Phryne?

Thank you, Prudence.

I feel so...

Oh, my... Lydia!
Maid!

What's her name? Maid!

Get her to bed.
I'm going to call a doctor.

Lydia!
Attend to her at once.

Goodness.

You said the husband was fatally
poisoned at breakfast.

Well, that's one theory.

Do you think Lydia could have been
slipped something too?

Headache, palpitations,
vomiting and...

You said she looked
a little blotchy?

Could be caused by anything.
Including Aunt Prudence.

Medicinal?
As it comes. Thank you.

I mean, the old favourite's arsenic
of course

but half a gram of strychnine
will do the trick.

I found these
in the bathroom cabinet.

Hmm.

Looks like a nerve powder, usually
prescribed for women of course,

the hysterical sex,
for nervous exhaustion,

emotional collapse, wandering wombs,
that sort...

Why on Earth would a womb wander?

Unnatural behaviour will do it
according to Hippocrates.

Like celibacy.
Oh, good. Mine's not going anywhere.

(Knock on door)
Hmm.

Excuse me. Dr Macmillan,
the Women's Hospital telephoned.

They need you urgently.

Where's the patient, sister?
I've put her in Maternity.

These two gentlemen picked her up
in their cab.

Good thing you came straight here
by the sound of it.

MAN: Will she be alright?

Uh, no men in the wards. Thank you.

That's good.

Some amateurs tried to take away
her troubles.

She's just a child.

Got herself into
some grown-up trouble, eh?

I'm sure Dr Macmillan will do
her best.

How much to the Windsor?
5s should do it.

Nice try. I'm prepared to pay you
two and six.

Reckon it was that bloke we saw?

What, there was someone with her?

Just some dumb egg
told to get shot of her.

No, no, the other joke
around the corner.

He's a lofty beggar,
around 6', I reckon.

And something flashed in his paw
as he tucked his head down,

maybe a ring on his finger
or something?

Forget the Windsor,
we need the police.

And I've just met
a rather civilised detective.

You and your strays -
lost cats, injured mongrels

and now it's fallen bloody women.

Detective Inspector Jack Robinson.

City South Police Station.

Yeah, we know him.

That's him.

George Fletcher.

Butcher George?
That's the one.

Miss Fisher. And if it isn't
the Red Raggers.

Still fighting
the capless menace?

Your time will come.
Oppressor of the widow and orphan.

I hate to interrupt the class war,
but who is Butcher George?

George Fletcher was a doctor.
Once upon a time.

But now we suspect he's behind
a local abortion racket.

If you know so much about him,
why haven't you arrested him?

If you delivered him tied up
in brown paper and string,

I still couldn't arrest him.

The ones who die can't talk
and the ones who live won't talk.

What's the penalty for procuring
an abortion?

Ten to 15 years
according to the book.

Who's gonna open their trap
for that?

Lenin made Soviet abortion legal
in 1920.

I'm going back to the hospital.

I wish I could change the laws
for you, Miss Fisher.

You can't? Fine.

I'll just have to find a way
around them.

Good day, Inspector.

DISTANT VOICES: ..B, C, D,

E, F, G, H,

I, J, K, L,

M, N, O, P,

Q, R, S, T,

U, V, W, X, Y...

(Distant echoing laughter)

..six, not because dirty,
not because I'm clean.

Just because I stole some bread
behind the window seat.

Girls, girls have a lot of fun.

Here comes Phryne with...
Don't, Janey!

(Both laugh)

Should I know you?

My sister's ribbon.

Miss Fisher.

Is still miss?

I'm deeply sorry I couldn't tell
your family what you needed to know.

Then tell me now.

I have never confessed to the crime
you want me to be guilty of.

And my time here is nearly up.

And here I am.

I've come halfway around the world

to make sure that you never
get out of here alive.

Death is only a torment
for those who believe

it is the end of all things.

I'm not a child anymore, Mr Foyle,
so I won't play your lofty games.

Whatever horrors you visited on her,
I have imagined tenfold.

And given the chance,

I would do the same to you
without smearing my lipstick.

Has she given you any details
about what happened?

They never do -
either fell down the stairs

or claim to be completely mystified.

This one's not even offering
her name.

No clues in her purse?

You don't have to save the world,
Phryne.

Where are her things?

'Who would wholeheartedly recommend
Miss Hartley...'

John Andrews.

LIVELY MUSIC

(Chattering)

I smuggled this upstairs.

I recommend you swallow
at least a bucketful.

Oh, sorry, miss.

(Kisses)

You seem to be coping
better than your maid.

Aunt Prudence said
you had to let the last one go.

Oh, yes.
It was unpleasant but trivial.

What, trouble with the telephone
like this one?

John caught her stealing
the silver cruet set

and I agreed he should dismiss her.

Do you think she'd have any
information about the household

that might help the police?

Unlikely.

Alice was a timid thing.
She went quietly enough.

Drink up.

(Jazz plays, chatter, laughter)

Phryne, darling! (Chuckles)

You look divine!

And I found you a charming
dental technician.

Very thoughtful.

I do appreciate you
weren't born to wealth.

At least your mother
came from good stock.

It's just unfortunate
she ran off with your father.

Lucky then the Great War laid waste
to his titled cousins.

Yes... Well, no-one likes a war.

Do you think anyone here would want
to harm Lydia or her husband?

Don't be absurd!

You're looking at the cream
of Melbourne society.

Apart from Clementine Smythe
over there.

She snaffled Lydia's upholsterer
just when she needed him the most.

And Tilda Higginbottom,
by the punch, as usual.

But that one -
she takes the biscuit.

Practically runs a bordello.

Hello there, Prudence.

Madame Breda!

May I present my niece,
the Honourable Phryne Fisher.

How do you do?
Madame Breda.

Madame Breda has
a little establishment

at the far end of the city.

A Turkish bath palace, Miss Fisher.

How interesting.

I'm a devoted patron
of the London Hummum.

You should try it, Aunt Prudence.

No, thank you, my dear.

I shall remain all the cleaner
for staying away.

(Chuckles) Excuse me.

Terrible news about John Andrews.

I've been a loyal
customer of his for years.

What line of business was he in?

Importing from the Orient.

Cosmetics, manchester,
the most beautiful rugs.

He adored Lydia,

though he had less time for her
endless social events

and her more colourful friends.

Like who?

Like the adorable Sasha De Lisse.

Mademoiselle est magnifique.

Now I recall.

I saw you dancing in Paris
five years ago with your sister.

(Chuckles)
Death And The Maiden.

It was primitive and spine-chilling!

My sister unfortunately
passed away some months ago.

My condolences.

I am still unused
to dancing without her.

Do you tango, Miss Fisher?

(Band plays)
MAN: Ladies and gentlemen,

presenting Sasha De Lisse.

(Band continues playing)

(Tango continues playing)

We've been trying
to reach Mrs Andrews,

but something seems to be
wrong with your telephone.

(Tango plays)

(Applause)

MAN: Bravo.

Excuse me, madam.
Yes?

The, um... police need to
speak with Mrs Andrews again.

Should I call her down?

Poison?

The coroner found traces of arsenic
when he examined your husband

and your own symptoms seem to be
consistent with a milder dose.

Do you know where it came from?

The sugar bowl with the breakfast
tray was laced with rat poison.

(Gasps) John always took
so much sugar in his tea.

Thank God I didn't finish my own.

We've been informed your housemaid
prepares the morning tray.

That's correct, but...

We'll need to ask Miss Williams
a few questions at the station.

You don't seriously suspect
this poor child of murder?!

Actually, I was studiously
avoiding that term, Miss Fisher.

If you find yourself
in legal trouble,

I know a clever woman who might help.

Thank you, Miss.

I can't imagine what grudge that
poor girl might have against us.

(Car engines rattle in distance)

I hope we have the pleasure
to meet again, Miss Fisher.

I'm sure that can be arranged.

Au revoir.

Lydia seems calmer now.

If only this awful poisoning
business was resolved,

she could busy herself with a wake.

Yes, that could cheer her up.

My earrings!

That man was far too charming.

What's the hurry?
My driver's on his way.

I'll explain later.
Goodnight, Aunt Prudence.

At this hour? It's not safe!

Why do you think you
can just run off on your own?

Because I'm carrying a gun!

Phryne!

Good evening. I need to buy cocaine.

I can pay you with these.

(Rings service bell)

(Indistinct speaking)

What's your story, huh?

How did you know?
Get away! I warn you!

Get back!
He's got a blade. Steady, steady.

Steady, steady on.

MAN: Where's your gun? Go after him!

He's getting away!
Alright, alright!

(Clattering and banging)

He's not here. Nothing. Come on.

(Bottles clang)

(Pants)

(Gunfire)

(Dog barks)

(Gasps)

It is me, Sasha.
Mademoiselle, help me.

(Voices in background)

In here. Not a sound.

Down.

(Men shout in distance)

Come on!

(Broad accent) Evening, gentlemen.
Looking for a frolic?

(Lighter clicks)

(Hoof beats in background)

Yeah, we're looking for a fella.

Seen a man run through here?

Nah, but I seen plenty lying down.

Come on. This scrag's no use.

How much, darling?

Depends, sweetheart.
Show us your tackle.

Move away.

The coast is clear.
(Groans) Sasha!

I thought the bullet missed me.

(Groans)

Wonderful.

You're not badly hurt.

But you may have ruined
one of the most stunning gowns

Melbourne will ever see.

Why did you steal my earrings?

To pay for cocaine.

That's a dangerous habit

if you're going to be shot
in the process.

You should not assume
it is my habit.

My reasons were personal.

So were my earrings.

What did you say to the pharmacist?

I asked to meet the King of Snow,

the mastermind of the cocaine
business in this town.

Melbourne has certainly become
more interesting in my absence.

Life has been hard since
we were forced from Russia.

Too hard for my sister.

She became addicted to cocaine
and lost her way.

She took her own life.

How awful.

But Lydia was very good
to both of us.

But I gather her husband was
not a ballet enthusiast.

I never cared for John Andrews.
Hmm.

You think I was having a love affair
with your friend?

It is not true.

She's too demure for my attentions.

Whereas you...

(Groans)

(Knock on door)

I'm s... I'm so sorry, Miss Fisher,

but I didn't know where else to go.

I've been dismissed
without a reference

and I think I need that
clever woman you talked about.

You'd better come in.

(Sniffles)

The, um... matching Mary Jane's
up there if you're looking, Miss.

Thank you.

My dance instructor
was perfecting my develope.

Now, sit down, have some toast,
tell me everything.

The police asked me
so many questions

about Mr Andrews it made me giddy.

About what kind of gentleman he was,
what kind of boss.

How he treated us household staff.

And what did you tell them?

Well, I couldn't lie.

I'm a Catholic.

I said he was all hands and tried
to pin me against the range

and have his way in the kitchen
the night before he died.

I told them how he
did the same to Alice

and how she took off
the morning they found him.

Now I'm worried they're
going to blame Alice as well.

Was Alice in the family way
to her employer?

To John Andrews?

I can't help you if
you won't tell me the truth.

It was a woman who helped me.
Her name was Madame Breda.

I've met her. And where
did Madame Breda send you?

I couldn't tell.
The van had no windows.

But the door off the lane was green.
I remember that.

And when I came to, I could
smell food, like a bakery, I think.

(Coughing in background)

She said he was a doctor.

(Clock ticks)

(Door closes)

Sorry, Miss Fisher. It was
by the bath. I just...

Not at all! Phryne will do.

I washed and pressed your clothes

and I mended those
stockings for you.

(Chuckles)

You have a very fine hand, Dot!

It's my gift, Miss... Phryne.

I had more trouble getting those
bloodstains off that lovely gown, though.

(Gasps) Genius!

And I found this under the bed.

Oh! Thank you!

A marvellous device invented by

a thoroughly modern woman
called Marie Stopes.

Family planning.

Oh!
I could do with a maid.

Though you'll probably
want your old position back

once this fuss has blown over and
Mrs Andrews is back to her old self.

No, not for all the tea in China.

Even without Mr Andrews,

there's still the
electric iron to worry about.

And the vacuum cleaner,
and the new washing machine.

Don't they save you labour?

Yes, but at what cost, Miss?

My priest says it's unnatural
putting electricity through wires.

Sooner or later,
it'll come in contact

with the molten centre of the earth
and will blow up the whole world.

Well... if you work for me,

you'll have to answer
the telephone promptly.

And I might need you on occasion
to bend the Ten Commandments.

Um... Like when?

Today.

And how important is the telephone?

Extremely.

Now, get your coat. We're off
to the Turkish baths.

(Knock on door)

Come in.

Madame Breda.

Do you remember me?

You're Lydia's maid, aren't you?

I need your help. I know
you helped Alice and...

Oh, not you too.

John Andrews?

LYDIA: Thank you for drawing me
out of the house.

I feel so much better here.

It's hardly the bordello
Aunt Prudence fears.

Madame Breda has been
one of John's best customers.

Lydia...

How much did you know about your
husband's business dealings?

Not enough. I've never
had a head for figures.

I may have to take
over the reins all the same.

Do you think the attempt
on your lives

could have something to do
with a retaliation

after a falling out with a customer?

I don't know what you mean.

Could John have gotten mixed up
in some business dealings

you weren't aware of?

Did he tell you everything?

I loved John, Phryne.

His death has left me bereft.

I'm not ready yet
to pick over his bones.

Of course not.

(Tea cups clang)

No, just black for me.

Of course.

(Hoof beats)

Here she comes.

I had to miss my second pummelling,

so I hope you've got
something to report.

She made me pay 10 and
said to give this to the doctor.

She said not to open and that...

that I have to meet them
on the corner of the laneway

near Johnson's Hatters
at 7:00am wearing a red rose.

Sounds risky.

Well, if someone hadn't
done away with John Andrews,

it could've been me
in that hospital.

It's the very least I can do...
for Alice.

Now all we need's a red rose.

It's packaged exactly the same way
as the Paterson's Powders

I souvenired from Lydia's bathroom.

The pink's only a vegetable dye
with a nerve powder.

It's most likely a narcotic base,
like opium,

or a stimulant, like cocaine.

Is it legal like that?

Not from a Turkish bath house.
You need a doctor's prescription.

If Madame Breda's using it
to pay off unsavoury types,

then my bet is cocaine.

Definitely cocaine.

I'm the doctor.

Just to make sure.

What has this all to
do with Butcher George

and backyard abortions?

I'm not sure yet, Mac,

but I think it's
time somebody found out.

(Hoof beats,
children yell and chatter)

Let us have a look. Open up.

Yeah. Come on.

Give them a head start.

(Starter motor whirrs)

They'll get a ruddy
head start, alright!

(Starter motor whirrs)

Remind me to buy you a new taxi
when this is over.

(Motor starts)
Eureka!

Stop!

Come on, come on, come on!

Proctor's Pies! Alice said she
smelled baking. Turn down there.

(Footsteps approach)

(Door opens)

Hello there, girly!

My name's Doctor George.

And I'll be relieving you
of your little burden.

MAN: There's the van.
Hurry.

We're looking for a green door.

Come on, love. It's only nerves.

No, it's not. Just leave me...

You've got the collywobbles!
I've seen it all before.

Come on - up on the table.

Let's lie down good and quiet, hmm?

Damn it! Where the hell
have they gone?

Let's see how far gone you are.

No!
Easy!

(Cries) I'm not far gone.
I'm not even gone at all.

What's your caper?

It's gotta be close!
Over here.

I'll take this side.

Sit! Give us a hand.

(Whimpers and yells)

Nothing. Oh, Dot!

This'll calm her down.
HELP! HELP ME!

Upstairs!
(Dot screams)

(Thwack!)
(Groans)

Get away from that girl, both of you!

Hands toward heaven!

Up, you idiot.

So you're the animal who took
the knife to Alice Hartley?

Cec, what have you
got to say to this man?

My sentiments exactly.

Now all we need is some
brown paper and string

and these two gentlemen
can deliver you to the police.

But first, you're going to tell me
exactly how you know Madame Breda.

Won't Alice still have to confess?
Don't worry, Dot.

Cec will have to tell the police
that she paid Butcher George money

and then changed her mind,
but he wouldn't listen.

Is that what happened?

More or less.

That was the most perilous day
of my entire life.

Even worse than
being a murder suspect.

But the cocoa helps.
I'm glad about that, Dot.

'Cause you need to be brave
a little longer.

Why?

You'll be safe enough here,

but if I don't return by midnight,
you might have to call the police.

On the telephone?

I'm afraid so.

Cheerio! (Kisses)

(Door closes)

(Telephone buzzes electrically)

Now, there's a familiar figure.

You sure about that bloke?

Not entirely. French-Russian
extraction.

We've only met... socially.

I'm definitely not
sure about those two.

Bastard extraction.
We've only met up a dark alley.

They're going into Madame Breda's.

Come on.

(Clanging)

(Hoof beats in distance)

Up there. The balcony.
We could get over it.

Here, hold this.

(Hoof beats approach)

Give me a leg up.

Is that all I can do for you?

You might go for help. Things could
get interesting around here.

I thought they already were.

(Grunts with exertion)

(Door opens)

Oi, what's your lark?

Get back here!

(Clattering)

(Door closes)

(Man speaks indistinctly)
MAN 2: What are you doing?

(Thudding and punching)

Stop it!

(Speaks indistinctly)

(Grunting and groaning)

You bastards!

I kill you!

I kill you and your mother!

(Speaks indistinctly)

Don't move!

(Grunts)

You're that tart we met the night
we shot this dago in the alley.

She knows nothing. Let her go
and do what you like with me!

I paid to speak with your
boss. Have you no honour?

Don't worry, mate. You'll
get your chat with the king.

(Laughs)

And what will you do in the meeting?

Kill him.

Unless somebody's
already beaten you to it.

What do you mean?

The drugs are coming in
through JA Imports.

It's John Andrews' company.

So that is what amused those thugs?

That I would meet the king
in the afterlife?

(Door opens)

Lydia?

They told me you had a floozy.

I didn't think it would be you.

But how?

Lydia poisoned her husband
after he had his way with her maid.

It wasn't just his philandering.

Of course not. I know you
better than that.

And Madame Breda sorted the pregnancy

like she sorted all your
other grubby business.

You helped us. We danced
for all your friends.

Why did you do it?

Not all of us did so well
out of the war, Phryne.

You inherited a title,
but my family lost everything.

And then I met John
and he was wealthy, charming.

Far too charming.

And in the end,
a hopeless businessman

and an utter embarrassment.

I rescued us from
bankruptcy and disgrace.

And I built an empire.

All I wanted was my own life back,

but John wouldn't let me have it.

Judge me, if you like.

But I saved myself.

What a shame it took a life of crime
for you to find your strength, Lydia.

Haven't you become
a dreary crusader.

I'm sure your demise will fix that.

Strip them.

(Clock ticks)

(Electrical buzzing)

How long can we last in here?

A lot longer if you stay calm.

(Sighs)

(Groans)

(Groans)

Miss Fisher needs you down at the
Turkish baths in Little Lonsdale.

I hope she's comfortable.
She could be waiting a long time.

(Clock ticks)

Sasha.

Sasha, don't fall asleep.

I told you - Cokey and The Bull.

They dragged off this Russian dago
and she went after him.

Some commo friend of yours, was he?

If only my eyes
could focus in this fog.

(Sighs)

If the steam's piped in,
we just need to pipe it out again.

(Clanging and scraping)

(Sizzles)

(Clock chimes)

(Dials)

(Phone rings)

City South police station.
Constable Collins speaking.

Yep...

Inspector!

Sir, it's Miss Williams
on the telephone.

She said Miss Fisher's
in some kind of trouble.

(Sirens wail)

OK, you two, take
the front and side entrances.

I'll take the rear
with Collins and Foster.

Let's break down this door.
Let's go!

(Banging and thudding)

(Sighs)

Sasha. Sasha, don't fall asleep.

Wake up!

(Faint voices in distance)

MAN: Stand back!

Glad you could make it, Inspector.

I'm a little more steamed up
than I wanted to be.

I always wondered what went on
in a Turkish bath house.

(Groans)
Come on, then!

(Groans)
Tell me how clever you are.

Now, what made you think
Lydia Andrews was the murderer?

Well, firstly, she kept declaring
her love for John Andrews,

when we all knew he was a cad.

You could put that down
to marital delusion.

Then when she protested that
she had no head for business,

though she raised thousands
of pounds for the hospital fund.

I tried to put that
down as false modesty.

Even when she accused Alice
of stealing the cruet set,

though I'd read
her glowing reference.

I had hoped it was her husband's lie.

Of course, the other suspects helped.

There was Madame Breda,
but she was too obvious.

And she pointed the finger
at Sasha De Lisse,

so I was forced to discount him
as Lydia's jealous lover

with my own...
thorough investigation.

(Clicks fingers)

Sorry. Where was I?

Oh, the tea! That's
what really bothered me.

She drank just enough sweetened tea

to remove suspicion,
poisoning herself,

when I know she always
took her tea without sugar.

Must get a wriggle on, Miss, or
you'll be late for Premier Hogan.

Just a light chat about
the criminal justice system.

(Children sing rhyme)

(Children continue singing)

(Door slams)

Miss, about the job, I don't know
what my priest will think

of your... guns
and knives and...

dancing.

Considering your last employers were
a drug baroness and a rapist,

surely you'd find me
a modest improvement.

I...

Cec, Bert, how lovely.

Sit down and have some champagne.

Inspector Robinson
and Constable Collins,

what a lovely surprise!

Your handbag, Miss Fisher.

And when you're fully hydrated,
I'd like a private word.

Thank you. But feel free amongst my
private friends. We're celebrating.

Five minutes after your timely
escape from the Turkish Bath Palace,

the steam room exploded
in a ball of flames

due to a back-up in the pipes,

resulting in an inferno

attended by every fire truck
in the metropolitan area.

Luckily, there were no fatalities.

One less bordello?

This is not a game, Miss Fisher.

Of course not. Now, raise
a glass to my new business.

What kind of business?

To my oldest friend's
newest enterprise,

the Honourable Miss Fisher,
lady detective.

(Chokes)

I do like the sound of that.

SWING