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1
00:00:06,885 --> 00:00:08,303
[instructor] Up, one!
2
00:00:09,095 --> 00:00:11,139
-Up, two!
-[groans]
3
00:00:11,765 --> 00:00:13,475
-Up, three!
-[groaning continues]
4
00:00:13,558 --> 00:00:15,685
You want the margarita? Prove it!
5
00:00:15,769 --> 00:00:17,312
Oh, my God. [chuckles]
6
00:00:17,395 --> 00:00:19,481
-Hey, Harry.
-[instructor] Up!
7
00:00:19,564 --> 00:00:20,607
Um, do you come...
8
00:00:20,690 --> 00:00:22,025
-[instructor] Up!
-I can't...
9
00:00:22,651 --> 00:00:24,152
-[instructor] Up!
-I can't hear you.
10
00:00:24,236 --> 00:00:25,737
Do you... Okay, we can talk after.
11
00:00:25,820 --> 00:00:27,614
["I Can Dream About You"
by Dan Hartman plays]
12
00:00:27,697 --> 00:00:29,574
-I didn't know you came to this.
-Yeah.
13
00:00:29,658 --> 00:00:31,785
It's kind of intense, but I'm into it.
14
00:00:31,868 --> 00:00:32,869
[pants] Yeah.
15
00:00:32,953 --> 00:00:35,205
All right.
I think I'm gonna go shower off.
16
00:00:35,288 --> 00:00:37,040
Oh, yes. They got nice showers here.
17
00:00:37,123 --> 00:00:40,835
♪ I'm not hiding ♪
18
00:00:40,919 --> 00:00:44,840
♪ The remedy to cure
This old heart of mine ♪
19
00:00:44,923 --> 00:00:51,721
♪ I can dream about you
If I can't hold you tonight... ♪
20
00:00:51,805 --> 00:00:53,056
{\an8}-It's huge.
-[Gwen] Just like...
21
00:00:53,139 --> 00:00:55,225
{\an8}Just so big. And I hate that I saw it.
22
00:00:55,308 --> 00:00:57,978
{\an8}And it makes you, like, sick?
23
00:00:58,061 --> 00:00:59,229
{\an8}No, it's, like, inappropriate.
24
00:00:59,312 --> 00:01:02,274
{\an8}Like, I shouldn't know what another
teacher's dick in this school looks like.
25
00:01:02,357 --> 00:01:05,151
Ah. But it's, like, a locker room.
Doesn't that happen all the time?
26
00:01:05,235 --> 00:01:07,571
No, no, no. You don't get it, Gwen.
He wanted me to see it.
27
00:01:07,654 --> 00:01:10,156
-And he got what he wanted.
-Oh, you thought he did it on purpose?
28
00:01:10,240 --> 00:01:11,241
Yes. I'm telling you.
29
00:01:11,324 --> 00:01:15,662
I'm coming out of the shower.
He sees me. He goes like this. Really.
30
00:01:15,745 --> 00:01:17,497
Maybe he's, like, not even gay,
31
00:01:17,581 --> 00:01:19,708
and he was just like... [grunts]
..."God, what's up?"
32
00:01:19,791 --> 00:01:20,876
No, no, he's gay.
33
00:01:20,959 --> 00:01:23,128
He has a rainbow flag
in his Instagram bio.
34
00:01:23,211 --> 00:01:24,629
Well, maybe he's an ally.
35
00:01:24,713 --> 00:01:27,132
Maybe he's an ally by means of
being gay and hooking up with guys.
36
00:01:27,215 --> 00:01:29,009
I've literally talked to him
about dating men.
37
00:01:29,092 --> 00:01:31,261
Okay. So, what's the problem?
Sorry, I'm not tracking.
38
00:01:31,344 --> 00:01:32,512
He's attractive.
39
00:01:32,596 --> 00:01:35,098
Then he puts his horse cock in my face
this morning, and I'm not allowed to...
40
00:01:35,182 --> 00:01:37,100
-Suck it?
-No, date other faculty.
41
00:01:37,184 --> 00:01:38,810
Because of the investigation thing.
42
00:01:38,894 --> 00:01:40,270
Oh.
43
00:01:40,353 --> 00:01:43,106
Maybe he's not trying to date you.
Like, that feels kind of like a leap.
44
00:01:45,400 --> 00:01:46,443
No, he's trying to date me.
45
00:01:46,526 --> 00:01:49,112
As you know, we're in the process
of replacing our school mascot
46
00:01:49,196 --> 00:01:53,533
"The Dragons" with the newly voted upon
"The Horses." "The Horses."
47
00:01:53,617 --> 00:01:56,119
A student competition is underway
to help choose the new logo.
48
00:01:56,203 --> 00:01:57,204
The new look of the logo...
49
00:01:57,287 --> 00:01:59,206
Did you get a chance
to take a look at any of those?
50
00:01:59,289 --> 00:02:01,208
The kids are mostly drawing penises.
51
00:02:01,291 --> 00:02:04,252
Uh, well, no, I haven't had a chance,
but that is disappointing.
52
00:02:04,336 --> 00:02:05,462
So what I was thinking is,
53
00:02:05,545 --> 00:02:08,089
I actually know this great company
that can help out with this.
54
00:02:08,173 --> 00:02:11,801
They redid the mascots for, like,
five or six local schools last year.
55
00:02:11,885 --> 00:02:13,053
Really did a bang-up job.
56
00:02:13,136 --> 00:02:14,888
They let the kids come up with the art,
57
00:02:14,971 --> 00:02:16,973
but then this company
comes in and executes.
58
00:02:17,057 --> 00:02:18,767
Makes it looks completely professional.
59
00:02:18,850 --> 00:02:22,229
Okay, the student logo design
competition is already underway, Rick...
60
00:02:22,312 --> 00:02:25,273
Listen, man! This is personal. All right?
61
00:02:25,357 --> 00:02:28,318
"The Dragons" was offensive to my people.
62
00:02:28,401 --> 00:02:29,653
[stammers] Your people?
63
00:02:29,736 --> 00:02:31,738
What people? College counselors?
64
00:02:31,821 --> 00:02:33,073
My people.
65
00:02:34,616 --> 00:02:36,034
The people that I come from.
66
00:02:36,910 --> 00:02:37,911
Heaven?
67
00:02:37,994 --> 00:02:39,913
Whatever he is,
his lineage should be celebrated.
68
00:02:39,996 --> 00:02:44,000
Whether he be a white man, a Black man,
a proud Indian brave...
69
00:02:44,084 --> 00:02:45,460
-Whoa, whoa, whoa.
-Jesus, Markie.
70
00:02:45,544 --> 00:02:46,545
Thank you.
71
00:02:46,628 --> 00:02:47,879
Rick, if you know of a company
72
00:02:47,963 --> 00:02:50,173
that can handle this
in a professional and effective manner,
73
00:02:50,257 --> 00:02:52,634
then yes, you can be our liaison
on that, all right?
74
00:02:52,717 --> 00:02:55,345
Yes! Hell, yeah. Let's get it.
All right, guys.
75
00:02:55,428 --> 00:02:56,638
This is perfect timing actually
76
00:02:56,721 --> 00:02:58,890
because kids aren't even thinking
about college yet.
77
00:02:58,974 --> 00:03:00,350
It's your company, right?
78
00:03:00,433 --> 00:03:02,435
-Who's to say?
-No, it's his company.
79
00:03:02,519 --> 00:03:06,523
Last but not least, we need
to assign some duties and committees.
80
00:03:06,606 --> 00:03:09,442
Gwendolyn, I need you
on bus duty this week.
81
00:03:09,526 --> 00:03:13,655
And from what I can tell, the only person
not on a committee is you, Evan and Harry,
82
00:03:13,738 --> 00:03:18,535
so, uh, I'm gonna have you two together to
head up the homecoming dance, all right?
83
00:03:18,618 --> 00:03:20,579
-Okay.
-No. No, no, no.
84
00:03:20,662 --> 00:03:23,248
-I'm... I'm... No, I really am...
-All right, we are dismissed, okay?
85
00:03:23,331 --> 00:03:25,500
-Go inspire those young, warped minds.
-[murmuring]
86
00:03:25,584 --> 00:03:27,711
[teacher] I wanna sing
the national anthem this morning.
87
00:03:27,794 --> 00:03:29,880
Why would they do this to me?
88
00:03:29,963 --> 00:03:31,339
Grant, can I talk to you for a second?
89
00:03:31,423 --> 00:03:33,550
-These are crazy.
-What do you want?
90
00:03:33,633 --> 00:03:37,137
I'm thinking it might be good
if you unpair Harry and I
91
00:03:37,220 --> 00:03:38,638
for this homecoming dance thing.
92
00:03:38,722 --> 00:03:41,725
-Why?
-I can't tell you why, but just trust me.
93
00:03:41,808 --> 00:03:44,144
I mean, I can unpair you,
but I'll need a clear reason.
94
00:03:44,227 --> 00:03:45,687
Otherwise, it'll look like homophobia.
95
00:03:45,770 --> 00:03:47,606
How's it gonna look like homophobia?
96
00:03:48,231 --> 00:03:51,067
If I separate two gay men,
isn't that homophobia?
97
00:03:52,569 --> 00:03:53,778
I can see the logic.
98
00:03:53,862 --> 00:03:55,864
Some of these kids could get into Parsons.
99
00:03:55,947 --> 00:03:58,033
It's really beautiful work.
100
00:03:58,116 --> 00:04:00,243
Can you just...
I... I think... Just unpair us.
101
00:04:00,327 --> 00:04:02,162
-It's... It'll be good.
-No, Evan.
102
00:04:02,245 --> 00:04:05,165
Just do your job.
Stop creating drama where there is none.
103
00:04:05,248 --> 00:04:07,709
Just plan the... plan the homecoming dance.
104
00:04:07,792 --> 00:04:08,793
Go.
105
00:04:09,878 --> 00:04:10,879
[sighs]
106
00:04:10,962 --> 00:04:12,547
This horse will do.
107
00:04:12,631 --> 00:04:13,715
Rick, I found a winner.
108
00:04:13,798 --> 00:04:14,799
Okay.
109
00:04:14,883 --> 00:04:18,803
So, how much do we think the author
is writing based on his own experiences?
110
00:04:18,887 --> 00:04:20,514
Do it. Just say something.
111
00:04:20,597 --> 00:04:21,932
Chelsea, what's going on?
112
00:04:22,015 --> 00:04:24,893
Um, Mr. Marquez,
I'm sorry to interrupt class,
113
00:04:24,976 --> 00:04:28,146
but it's actually super triggering for me
114
00:04:28,230 --> 00:04:30,815
to be reading a book
about a disease right now
115
00:04:31,441 --> 00:04:33,735
with everything I'm going through.
116
00:04:33,818 --> 00:04:35,946
Because of everything
you're going through?
117
00:04:36,029 --> 00:04:37,822
What are you going through, Kayla?
118
00:04:37,906 --> 00:04:41,034
The rest of the class sort of
already knows about this.
119
00:04:41,117 --> 00:04:42,327
-But recently...
-[students] Mmm.
120
00:04:42,410 --> 00:04:46,623
...I was successfully diagnosed... [sniffles]
...with something called...
121
00:04:46,706 --> 00:04:47,958
You're doing great, Kayla.
122
00:04:48,041 --> 00:04:50,043
-[Jason] It's okay.
-Be present with your illness, okay?
123
00:04:52,045 --> 00:04:54,631
-Asymptomatic Tourette's.
-[Evan groans]
124
00:04:56,258 --> 00:04:58,552
-What?
-So what Tourette's syndrome is, right...
125
00:04:58,635 --> 00:05:00,428
No, I know what Tourette's syndrome is.
126
00:05:00,512 --> 00:05:02,597
Oh, great. Okay.
So it sounds like you're halfway there,
127
00:05:02,681 --> 00:05:07,102
and you're taking an opportunity
to be educated, which is honorable.
128
00:05:07,185 --> 00:05:09,604
-Thank you.
-So, asymptomatic Tourette's, right?
129
00:05:09,688 --> 00:05:13,859
It's like Tourette's syndrome with
the tics and, like, the hardship, right?
130
00:05:13,942 --> 00:05:17,112
But without any symptoms.
131
00:05:17,195 --> 00:05:19,990
So in its way, AT is harder.
132
00:05:20,073 --> 00:05:21,366
-Because...
-What is AT?
133
00:05:21,449 --> 00:05:23,535
Oh, asymptomatic Tourette's. Okay.
134
00:05:23,618 --> 00:05:25,287
-Uh-huh.
-It is harder.
135
00:05:25,370 --> 00:05:27,914
Because people have, like,
actually no idea
136
00:05:27,998 --> 00:05:32,627
the battle that people like Kayla
are fighting inside every day.
137
00:05:32,711 --> 00:05:33,837
It's a silent killer.
138
00:05:34,629 --> 00:05:37,048
And someone actually
diagnosed you with this?
139
00:05:37,132 --> 00:05:39,134
It's disrespectful to ask that.
[whispers] I'm so sorry...
140
00:05:39,217 --> 00:05:40,218
[Kayla] It's okay.
141
00:05:40,302 --> 00:05:43,013
You can't blame people
for making really huge mistakes
142
00:05:43,096 --> 00:05:45,515
when they haven't learned the etiquette.
143
00:05:47,017 --> 00:05:48,977
It's only self-diagnosable.
144
00:05:50,103 --> 00:05:51,396
I see.
145
00:05:51,479 --> 00:05:54,024
-[bell rings]
-She's making up this whole fake disease.
146
00:05:54,107 --> 00:05:56,693
She's describing the symptoms.
There aren't any symptoms.
147
00:05:56,776 --> 00:05:58,945
She's calling it asymptomatic Tourette's.
148
00:05:59,029 --> 00:06:00,655
I feel like I've never related to you more
149
00:06:00,739 --> 00:06:04,201
about these kids just making up
crazy shit for their own benefit.
150
00:06:04,284 --> 00:06:05,535
It's insane.
151
00:06:05,619 --> 00:06:08,538
Have you done a full
and comprehensive diagnostic
152
00:06:08,622 --> 00:06:11,208
to see if there's any
potential underlying symptoms?
153
00:06:11,958 --> 00:06:13,418
I'm not a doctor,
154
00:06:13,501 --> 00:06:16,838
but I don't have to be a doctor to know
that this girl is making something up.
155
00:06:16,922 --> 00:06:18,632
Tell you what,
I'll come by your classroom tomorrow.
156
00:06:18,715 --> 00:06:21,218
Get a firsthand assessment
of her condition.
157
00:06:21,301 --> 00:06:22,344
You're not a doctor.
158
00:06:22,427 --> 00:06:25,055
Two and a half more credits in
kinesiology, and I would've been a doctor.
159
00:06:27,140 --> 00:06:29,851
[Evan] Okay. So then the blue streamers
the school has.
160
00:06:29,935 --> 00:06:31,645
I have to buy gold streamers.
161
00:06:31,728 --> 00:06:34,564
And then there's a ladder
I think in the utility closet.
162
00:06:34,648 --> 00:06:36,358
Yeah, it's basically that. Right?
163
00:06:36,441 --> 00:06:40,946
[chuckles] Wow, I did not realize
that we had, like, an agenda.
164
00:06:41,029 --> 00:06:45,534
Oh, yeah. The... The... I just, um, have
to get home to grade all these papers.
165
00:06:45,617 --> 00:06:48,078
Yeah, okay. Blue and gold streamers it is.
166
00:06:48,995 --> 00:06:51,623
Ugh. Oh, my God.
I'm sorry that took so long.
167
00:06:51,706 --> 00:06:55,335
One of the managers was, like,
low-key sexually harassing me in the back.
168
00:06:55,418 --> 00:06:58,505
[chuckles] I'm sorry to ask this,
are you guys gay?
169
00:06:58,588 --> 00:06:59,756
-Mm-hmm. Yeah.
-Mmm. Yeah.
170
00:06:59,840 --> 00:07:01,174
[waiter] My people. Thank God.
171
00:07:01,258 --> 00:07:03,927
When you walked in, I clocked you,
and I was like, "Hey, sister."
172
00:07:04,010 --> 00:07:07,222
And it's, like,
the community in Austin is amazing,
173
00:07:07,305 --> 00:07:09,641
but, like,
I keep trying to reach out to people,
174
00:07:09,724 --> 00:07:12,561
and they're like, "You're toxic,"
or "I'm busy," and I'm like,
175
00:07:12,644 --> 00:07:14,855
"Babe, I have zero friends."
176
00:07:14,938 --> 00:07:16,314
I moved here from Michigan.
177
00:07:16,398 --> 00:07:20,068
So, my dears, what can I get
you two lovebirds for din-din?
178
00:07:20,151 --> 00:07:22,904
Oh. Sorry. We're not lovebirds.
We just work together. [chuckles]
179
00:07:22,988 --> 00:07:24,030
Oh, my God.
180
00:07:24,114 --> 00:07:26,950
I think maybe we need
a little bit more time.
181
00:07:27,033 --> 00:07:28,201
[waiter] No sweat.
182
00:07:28,285 --> 00:07:31,746
Uh, if you need anything,
holler "Clarkson." My name's Daniel.
183
00:07:32,247 --> 00:07:35,208
So I'm... I'm realizing actually
I can do a lot of this alone.
184
00:07:35,292 --> 00:07:38,378
So I might just head home,
and, uh, I'll get my food to go.
185
00:07:38,461 --> 00:07:40,714
Hey, but, okay, we're here though.
186
00:07:40,797 --> 00:07:43,466
And I just got my wine, so...
187
00:07:44,342 --> 00:07:47,679
Look, I get it.
This committee shit. It's annoying.
188
00:07:47,762 --> 00:07:51,057
But, like, let's just, you know,
have some fun with it.
189
00:07:51,141 --> 00:07:52,767
[whispers] Okay. That's fine.
190
00:07:52,851 --> 00:07:56,396
Oh, I have a few ideas for the playlist,
if you want to talk about that?
191
00:07:56,479 --> 00:07:58,190
Don't the kids do the music?
192
00:07:58,273 --> 00:08:00,400
Yeah, see,
I don't think that's a good idea, right?
193
00:08:00,483 --> 00:08:04,154
Because at my last school,
we let a kid deejay the prom,
194
00:08:04,237 --> 00:08:08,241
and then he tried to play an entire
episode of Dax Shepard's podcast.
195
00:08:08,325 --> 00:08:09,659
-Which episode?
-Oh.
196
00:08:09,743 --> 00:08:12,162
I've actually been super
into this song lately.
197
00:08:12,245 --> 00:08:14,706
I... I'll just play it for you.
198
00:08:19,544 --> 00:08:21,046
["Eternal Flame" playing]
199
00:08:21,129 --> 00:08:22,255
[sighs] Oh, my God.
200
00:08:22,339 --> 00:08:26,551
♪ Close your eyes
Give me your hand, darling ♪
201
00:08:27,594 --> 00:08:33,558
♪ Do you feel my heart beating?
Do you understand? ♪
202
00:08:33,642 --> 00:08:37,312
♪ Do you feel the same... ♪
203
00:08:37,395 --> 00:08:38,438
Are you fucking kidding?
204
00:08:38,522 --> 00:08:41,525
You come to my favorite restaurant?
I'm six months pregnant, you bitch.
205
00:08:41,608 --> 00:08:42,817
-Malcolm.
-[chuckles] I'm kidding.
206
00:08:42,901 --> 00:08:44,986
-What the fuck are you doing here?
-Hey, babe. Come here.
207
00:08:45,070 --> 00:08:46,154
-Hi.
-Hi.
208
00:08:46,738 --> 00:08:47,948
-Ah, that's...
-Miss you.
209
00:08:48,031 --> 00:08:49,741
Sorry. Malcolm, this is Harry.
210
00:08:49,824 --> 00:08:52,035
He works at Morrison now.
Harry, this is Malcolm.
211
00:08:52,118 --> 00:08:53,828
-He used to work at Morrison, but...
-Yes. Yes.
212
00:08:53,912 --> 00:08:55,455
I used to work at Morrison.
213
00:08:55,539 --> 00:08:57,040
Until I got fired for fucking him.
214
00:08:57,123 --> 00:08:58,375
That is not what happened.
215
00:08:58,458 --> 00:09:01,086
Yeah, we had sex.
Penetrative. Top. Bottom.
216
00:09:01,169 --> 00:09:03,213
-That is really not what happened.
-And I got fired.
217
00:09:03,296 --> 00:09:05,048
He was... He's my ex-boyfriend,
and now I'm single.
218
00:09:05,131 --> 00:09:08,218
Which I like. I like being single,
and I don't want to have a...
219
00:09:08,301 --> 00:09:10,637
I'm not... I'm not open to relationships.
220
00:09:10,720 --> 00:09:13,306
-[laughs] Okay. High-strung tonight.
-[Harry] Mm-hmm.
221
00:09:13,390 --> 00:09:15,267
-Is he being weird on your date?
-[Evan] It's not a date.
222
00:09:15,350 --> 00:09:18,311
Um, hey, did... did
the waiter ask you if you were gay?
223
00:09:18,395 --> 00:09:20,272
No. I guess I give off, like, a masc vibe.
224
00:09:20,355 --> 00:09:22,649
Sometimes I wish
I was more femme like you guys.
225
00:09:22,732 --> 00:09:25,986
I've tried to be femme for clout.
It just doesn't come naturally to me.
226
00:09:26,069 --> 00:09:27,279
I-I... You're leaving.
227
00:09:27,362 --> 00:09:28,530
Do I have to?
228
00:09:28,613 --> 00:09:30,365
-I could stay and hang out.
-No, you're leaving.
229
00:09:30,448 --> 00:09:32,117
I'm gonna leave with you. I have to go.
230
00:09:32,200 --> 00:09:33,869
I just... He can give me a ride.
231
00:09:33,952 --> 00:09:36,204
-I can give him a ride.
-A ride to your car?
232
00:09:36,288 --> 00:09:38,498
A ride to my car, exactly. Yeah, so...
233
00:09:38,582 --> 00:09:41,835
-Hey, nice to meet you.
-Great work. And I-I will see you at work.
234
00:09:41,918 --> 00:09:44,004
-You too. Asante. [chuckles]
-Um...
235
00:09:44,087 --> 00:09:45,088
Thanks so much. Okay.
236
00:09:45,172 --> 00:09:47,382
-Whoo! We did it.
-[Malcolm] He's hot.
237
00:09:48,884 --> 00:09:49,885
[sighs]
238
00:09:51,845 --> 00:09:53,513
I literally have COVID.
239
00:09:54,556 --> 00:09:55,891
He's hot, huh?
240
00:09:56,600 --> 00:09:57,601
-Harry.
-[chuckles]
241
00:09:57,684 --> 00:09:58,935
My God.
242
00:09:59,019 --> 00:10:01,062
I can't believe Grant found
the second-hottest gay guy
243
00:10:01,146 --> 00:10:02,606
in Austin to replace me.
244
00:10:04,316 --> 00:10:06,985
It's just this whole thing
because he's into me,
245
00:10:07,068 --> 00:10:09,905
and he's like... I can tell
he's trying to make a move.
246
00:10:09,988 --> 00:10:11,198
[laughs]
247
00:10:11,281 --> 00:10:12,282
Really?
248
00:10:12,365 --> 00:10:13,533
-Yeah.
-He's into you?
249
00:10:13,617 --> 00:10:14,784
I didn't get that vibe at all.
250
00:10:14,868 --> 00:10:16,119
-Malcolm.
-I truly didn't.
251
00:10:16,203 --> 00:10:20,624
He literally played
a gorgeous song like this on his phone.
252
00:10:20,707 --> 00:10:22,375
So we had to smoosh our faces together.
253
00:10:22,459 --> 00:10:25,253
But that doesn't mean anything.
I mean, I... People do that all the time.
254
00:10:25,337 --> 00:10:28,423
People play music for each other.
It's, like, not really a big deal.
255
00:10:28,507 --> 00:10:30,634
I actually think I was getting a vibe
from him.
256
00:10:30,717 --> 00:10:35,263
He looked at me, and it kind of gave like,
"Let's kiss and also fuck. Right now."
257
00:10:35,347 --> 00:10:36,681
Oh, my God.
258
00:10:36,765 --> 00:10:38,725
Oh! You're jealous.
259
00:10:38,808 --> 00:10:41,061
I like that. More of that face, please.
260
00:10:41,144 --> 00:10:43,730
It's the most boyfriend-y thing
you've done to me in months.
261
00:10:45,815 --> 00:10:49,236
Hey, guys, before we get started
today here... Settle down, settle down.
262
00:10:49,903 --> 00:10:53,698
Um, before class starts today,
I would like to take some ownership
263
00:10:53,782 --> 00:10:58,286
and say a few words about AT,
also known as asymptomatic Tourette's.
264
00:10:58,370 --> 00:10:59,454
[students sigh] Come on.
265
00:10:59,538 --> 00:11:02,499
-Uh-huh, Chelsea. Yes.
-It's not called AT anymore.
266
00:11:02,582 --> 00:11:04,376
That's actually super disrespectful.
267
00:11:04,459 --> 00:11:06,503
Oh. What is it called now?
268
00:11:06,586 --> 00:11:09,506
KS. It stands for Kayla Syndrome.
269
00:11:09,589 --> 00:11:12,676
It's named as an "in memoriam" to Kayla.
270
00:11:12,759 --> 00:11:14,845
-Deirdre, I think you mean a tribute.
-No.
271
00:11:14,928 --> 00:11:16,179
-Okay.
-Are you getting that?
272
00:11:16,263 --> 00:11:18,932
-Does that make sense to you, sir?
-Oh, so it's named after Kayla.
273
00:11:19,015 --> 00:11:20,350
Okay. That's cool.
274
00:11:20,433 --> 00:11:22,352
It's actually not cool.
Are you seeing this girl?
275
00:11:22,435 --> 00:11:23,562
-She's sick as a dog.
-[Evan] Yeah.
276
00:11:23,645 --> 00:11:25,564
Well, I apologize, Kayla.
277
00:11:25,647 --> 00:11:27,148
I'm sorry that you have Kayla Syndrome.
278
00:11:27,232 --> 00:11:29,985
So it's actually better
if you just call it KS.
279
00:11:30,068 --> 00:11:31,653
-Okay.
-Because it's super triggering
280
00:11:31,736 --> 00:11:33,405
-for Kayla to hear her own name...
-Absolutely.
281
00:11:33,488 --> 00:11:34,781
-...brought up in that context.
-Gotcha.
282
00:11:34,865 --> 00:11:37,284
-Makes sense.
-You know, part of me wonders...
283
00:11:40,036 --> 00:11:42,122
You... You have something to say?
284
00:11:42,205 --> 00:11:43,456
Say it. Just say it.
285
00:11:44,749 --> 00:11:46,293
Coach Hillridge, do you have any thoughts?
286
00:11:46,376 --> 00:11:47,377
I'm just here to listen.
287
00:11:47,460 --> 00:11:49,546
-That's why you the man.
-Thank you, Coach Hillridge.
288
00:11:49,629 --> 00:11:50,630
That means a lot.
289
00:11:50,714 --> 00:11:52,174
You're welcome, Kayla.
290
00:11:52,257 --> 00:11:53,300
[Chelsea] Yes. Thank you, sir.
291
00:11:53,383 --> 00:11:55,135
[Markie] Chelsea, you're welcome.
292
00:11:55,635 --> 00:11:57,095
Did anybody do the homework?
293
00:11:57,179 --> 00:11:58,263
-No.
-No.
294
00:11:58,346 --> 00:12:00,140
-We've all been dealing with this.
-[Evan] Right.
295
00:12:00,223 --> 00:12:03,602
You're all getting your medical degrees.
296
00:12:03,685 --> 00:12:05,687
[bell rings]
297
00:12:05,770 --> 00:12:07,189
-Have a good one, Jake.
-All right.
298
00:12:07,856 --> 00:12:10,108
So after witnessing that,
do you still think AT is...
299
00:12:10,192 --> 00:12:12,444
-[Markie] KS.
-KS. You still think it's a real disease?
300
00:12:12,527 --> 00:12:14,404
Look, it's actually quite simple.
301
00:12:14,487 --> 00:12:17,574
Kayla and Chelsea,
best friends since freshman year, right?
302
00:12:17,657 --> 00:12:19,910
-Side by side, socially speaking.
-Uh-huh.
303
00:12:19,993 --> 00:12:22,913
Last month, Chelsea's out
for a couple of weeks. Remember that?
304
00:12:22,996 --> 00:12:25,207
The whole time she's gone,
all Kayla could hear is,
305
00:12:25,290 --> 00:12:27,876
"Where's Chelsea?
Is Chelsea gonna be out for much longer?"
306
00:12:27,959 --> 00:12:30,545
So then Kayla's getting jealous,
and she comes up with...
307
00:12:30,629 --> 00:12:32,672
[Markie] Asymptomatic Tourette's.
308
00:12:32,756 --> 00:12:35,258
And it worked for a time.
309
00:12:35,342 --> 00:12:39,846
But then Chelsea starts rallying everyone
to be super supportive of Kayla.
310
00:12:39,930 --> 00:12:41,097
And what does that do?
311
00:12:41,181 --> 00:12:45,602
Makes everybody talk
about how great and caring Chelsea is.
312
00:12:45,685 --> 00:12:50,273
Chelsea did the same thing to Renee last
year, and Renee is still not back at 100%.
313
00:12:50,357 --> 00:12:51,358
You know what I'm saying?
314
00:12:51,441 --> 00:12:52,901
[stammers] Who's Renee?
315
00:12:52,984 --> 00:12:56,029
Come on, man. She goes by Deirdre in
the classroom, Renee in the friend group.
316
00:12:56,112 --> 00:12:57,697
Keep up, Marquez.
317
00:12:57,781 --> 00:12:59,241
It's just so much information.
318
00:12:59,324 --> 00:13:01,826
But that's beside the point.
It brings us to today.
319
00:13:01,910 --> 00:13:04,246
The events of what happened here
in your classroom.
320
00:13:04,329 --> 00:13:05,997
Who speaks up on Kayla's behalf?
321
00:13:06,081 --> 00:13:09,042
Who started making sure
everyone was sympathetic
322
00:13:09,125 --> 00:13:11,336
to the journey that Kayla was on?
323
00:13:11,419 --> 00:13:13,296
Who renamed the goddamn disease?
324
00:13:13,880 --> 00:13:14,881
Chelsea.
325
00:13:14,965 --> 00:13:20,053
Kayla's whole gambit to gain sympathy
has turned into nothing more
326
00:13:20,136 --> 00:13:25,267
than a vehicle for Chelsea's rapid ascent
to the upper echelon of popularity.
327
00:13:25,767 --> 00:13:27,269
[exhales sharply]
328
00:13:27,352 --> 00:13:29,813
That's crazy. You got all this from
20 minutes in my classroom?
329
00:13:29,896 --> 00:13:31,064
[snorts]
330
00:13:31,147 --> 00:13:32,399
I only needed ten.
331
00:13:35,443 --> 00:13:39,072
♪ I've fallen in love
And there's no... ♪
332
00:13:39,155 --> 00:13:43,201
You know, I have to say,
you are the hottest man I've ever met.
333
00:13:43,285 --> 00:13:44,661
[laughs] Stop.
334
00:13:44,744 --> 00:13:46,955
What'd you think
of my dick in the locker room?
335
00:13:47,038 --> 00:13:48,290
I loved it.
336
00:13:49,124 --> 00:13:51,835
I knew you wanted me to see it,
but Gwen thought...
337
00:13:51,918 --> 00:13:53,128
Well, Gwen was wrong.
338
00:13:53,712 --> 00:13:55,505
And Markie is also wrong.
339
00:13:56,173 --> 00:13:57,215
About everything.
340
00:13:57,299 --> 00:13:58,466
I know.
341
00:13:58,550 --> 00:14:00,677
♪ You got the touch ♪
342
00:14:00,760 --> 00:14:01,970
-[honking]
-[grunts]
343
00:14:02,053 --> 00:14:03,096
[tires squeal]
344
00:14:04,055 --> 00:14:05,849
-[tires squealing]
-[cell phone ringing]
345
00:14:05,932 --> 00:14:09,519
[sighs] Evan, I'm trying to take a nap.
So it better be important.
346
00:14:09,603 --> 00:14:12,647
It is. Listen, to put it simply,
Harry's extremely into me. Okay?
347
00:14:12,731 --> 00:14:14,774
And I know I'm not allowed
to date other teachers,
348
00:14:14,858 --> 00:14:16,651
and I think he's gonna try
to do something about it.
349
00:14:16,735 --> 00:14:18,320
And I'm trying to avoid it,
but it could happen.
350
00:14:18,403 --> 00:14:20,197
Somebody who looks like Harry
would not be into you.
351
00:14:20,280 --> 00:14:21,656
-This is not a problem.
-You don't get it.
352
00:14:21,740 --> 00:14:23,742
We were in the locker room the other day,
353
00:14:23,825 --> 00:14:26,578
and he takes off his towel
in front of me on purpose.
354
00:14:26,661 --> 00:14:29,289
He showed me his incredible ass and dick.
355
00:14:29,372 --> 00:14:30,457
-No. Stop it.
-I was...
356
00:14:30,540 --> 00:14:32,709
-I was exhausted just by the fantasies...
-Stop it, Evan.
357
00:14:32,792 --> 00:14:35,045
-...that came just from seeing it initially.
-Evan. Evan. Stop.
358
00:14:35,128 --> 00:14:37,214
-We did not have this conversation.
-We had this conversation.
359
00:14:37,297 --> 00:14:38,965
-I'll see you at the dance.
-I am hot.
360
00:14:39,049 --> 00:14:41,384
I am considered hot in my community, okay?
361
00:14:41,468 --> 00:14:44,012
I don't care if you all think
I'm basic-looking.
362
00:14:44,095 --> 00:14:45,472
I'm an attractive gay guy.
363
00:14:45,555 --> 00:14:48,975
♪ You got the touch of love ♪
364
00:14:49,059 --> 00:14:54,314
♪ And I just can't get enough ♪
365
00:14:54,397 --> 00:14:56,399
Oh, Evan. This streamer just ripped.
366
00:14:56,483 --> 00:14:57,734
Will you hold the ladder?
367
00:14:57,817 --> 00:14:59,694
You don't need me
to hold the ladder, Harry.
368
00:14:59,778 --> 00:15:01,196
I have to make more punch.
369
00:15:02,030 --> 00:15:03,031
Okay.
370
00:15:03,615 --> 00:15:06,076
Ashley, your mom did such a good job
with those sugar cookies.
371
00:15:06,159 --> 00:15:07,410
I love them.
372
00:15:08,495 --> 00:15:10,121
-God, he looks so good tonight.
-Hey.
373
00:15:10,205 --> 00:15:12,999
But I don't care how hard he tries.
374
00:15:13,083 --> 00:15:14,834
Nothing is gonna happen between us.
375
00:15:14,918 --> 00:15:17,504
Is it possible... [sucks teeth]
376
00:15:18,296 --> 00:15:20,131
...he's maybe not trying
to make something happen?
377
00:15:20,715 --> 00:15:24,219
You know, like, you're very handsome and...
[stammers] You're so handsome.
378
00:15:24,302 --> 00:15:26,680
But maybe you're just reading into it.
379
00:15:29,057 --> 00:15:30,892
No, it feels unmistakable.
380
00:15:33,436 --> 00:15:34,437
Sorry.
381
00:15:34,521 --> 00:15:37,691
Um, Evan, could I speak to you outside
for a second?
382
00:15:38,525 --> 00:15:39,526
Sure.
383
00:15:44,364 --> 00:15:45,949
-[student 1] Sorry.
-[student 2] Evening, sir.
384
00:15:49,286 --> 00:15:50,287
[exhales sharply]
385
00:15:52,205 --> 00:15:53,832
-[Harry] Um...
-[sighs]
386
00:15:55,292 --> 00:15:58,044
Did I do something to offend you?
387
00:15:58,837 --> 00:16:00,922
No. Of course not.
388
00:16:02,549 --> 00:16:03,884
Uh-huh. Because you... [stammers]
389
00:16:05,385 --> 00:16:09,556
...you've been acting
very weird with me all week.
390
00:16:11,266 --> 00:16:12,267
I'm... I'm...
391
00:16:12,893 --> 00:16:15,103
Harry, I'm being weird because
if something happened between us,
392
00:16:15,187 --> 00:16:16,897
it would be very catastrophic for my life.
393
00:16:16,980 --> 00:16:18,273
Okay? I think you know this already.
394
00:16:18,356 --> 00:16:21,693
I'm not allowed to date teachers because
of a very specific situation in my life.
395
00:16:21,776 --> 00:16:26,364
So if something happens between you
and I, you know, i-it's not gonna be good.
396
00:16:26,448 --> 00:16:28,825
You wanna fuck me.
I wanna fuck you. I get it.
397
00:16:28,909 --> 00:16:32,245
This is clear as day,
but it's gonna go beyond that, okay?
398
00:16:32,329 --> 00:16:33,830
We're gonna wanna start dating each other.
399
00:16:33,914 --> 00:16:35,957
We're probably potentially
gonna wanna get married.
400
00:16:36,041 --> 00:16:38,043
Then, what happens?
One of us is gonna quit?
401
00:16:38,126 --> 00:16:40,754
I can't just report
this marriage to the board.
402
00:16:40,837 --> 00:16:42,422
One of us is gonna have to quit the job.
403
00:16:42,506 --> 00:16:45,008
And so that's...
that's where I draw the line.
404
00:16:45,091 --> 00:16:46,551
And I don't care how bad you want it.
405
00:16:46,635 --> 00:16:48,470
I don't care how bad I want it.
406
00:16:48,553 --> 00:16:52,516
It's not happening, okay? I'm not
throwing away my life for... for you.
407
00:16:52,599 --> 00:16:55,810
For... For whatever this thing is that
you're imagining that we have together.
408
00:16:55,894 --> 00:16:57,854
Evan, take a breath.
409
00:16:58,355 --> 00:17:02,984
-[breathes sharply]
-Um, first of all, I-I have a boyfriend.
410
00:17:04,486 --> 00:17:07,405
-I'm... It's... It's not even...
-Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
411
00:17:07,489 --> 00:17:09,533
No, no, no. It's okay. I do this.
412
00:17:09,616 --> 00:17:11,243
-This is something I do, actually.
-No, it's...
413
00:17:11,326 --> 00:17:13,036
I think people are into me
when they're not into me.
414
00:17:13,119 --> 00:17:16,498
And I think I'm, like... I have this, like,
inflated sense of my own attractiveness.
415
00:17:16,581 --> 00:17:18,375
And I think I'm, like, this hunky guy.
416
00:17:18,458 --> 00:17:21,086
And then I get really attracted
to really good-looking guys.
417
00:17:21,169 --> 00:17:23,463
And then I find out
they were never thinking of me like that.
418
00:17:23,547 --> 00:17:25,382
-I have a funny-looking face.
-Evan. Evan.
419
00:17:25,465 --> 00:17:27,092
If you would let me talk for a second...
420
00:17:27,175 --> 00:17:28,593
Is this Kayla Syndrome?
421
00:17:28,677 --> 00:17:30,345
No, it's... I'm sorry. That's so stupid.
422
00:17:30,428 --> 00:17:33,974
I... There... Yes, we can just be coworkers.
I really appreciate it. I'm sorry.
423
00:17:34,057 --> 00:17:36,434
-Evan.
-I'm serious. You don't need to save me.
424
00:17:36,518 --> 00:17:38,019
I'm fine. Thank you.
425
00:17:43,817 --> 00:17:45,110
[feedback]
426
00:17:45,193 --> 00:17:48,738
Hello. Hello. Hey, hello, everyone.
Gather around, gather around.
427
00:17:48,822 --> 00:17:51,700
Oh, God. I just had the weirdest
interaction with Harry. [sighs]
428
00:17:51,783 --> 00:17:53,702
He's not into me. You were so right.
429
00:17:53,785 --> 00:17:56,204
-I was just making the whole thing up.
-That's great.
430
00:17:56,288 --> 00:17:58,290
Before we announce
our homecoming court winners,
431
00:17:58,373 --> 00:18:01,710
we will have a brief presentation
of our new school mascot
432
00:18:01,793 --> 00:18:04,379
designed by the R.C.K. Group.
433
00:18:04,462 --> 00:18:06,882
-All right.
-[chuckles]
434
00:18:06,965 --> 00:18:09,009
-Where da weed at?
-[chuckles]
435
00:18:09,092 --> 00:18:11,011
Nah, I'm just messing around.
You guys are good kids.
436
00:18:11,094 --> 00:18:15,849
I'm now excited and thrilled to present
your new school mascot,
437
00:18:15,932 --> 00:18:20,937
-Michael the Horse!
-Oh, Michael. Not even alliteration.
438
00:18:21,021 --> 00:18:23,064
-Come on!
-[attendees murmuring]
439
00:18:23,148 --> 00:18:25,108
-Let's go!
-[attendees groaning]
440
00:18:25,192 --> 00:18:27,444
-[attendees] Boo!
-[attendee 1] Get the hell off the stage!
441
00:18:27,527 --> 00:18:28,987
Thank you. Thank you, R.C.K. Group.
442
00:18:29,070 --> 00:18:32,282
I guess we'll just remain
"The Dragons" for the time being.
443
00:18:32,866 --> 00:18:36,870
So now for your homecoming court queen,
Kayla Stephenson.
444
00:18:36,953 --> 00:18:38,496
-[attendees cheering]
-Kayla Stephenson.
445
00:18:38,580 --> 00:18:39,581
[attendee 2] Yeah, Kayla!
446
00:18:41,917 --> 00:18:43,627
[cheering continues]
447
00:18:43,710 --> 00:18:45,378
-Are you crying?
-She did it.
448
00:18:47,380 --> 00:18:50,050
Thank you. This means the world to me.
449
00:18:50,634 --> 00:18:55,680
But there's someone here tonight who could
use this tiara a whole lot more than me.
450
00:18:56,181 --> 00:18:57,182
Chelsea.
451
00:18:57,849 --> 00:19:00,268
I don't care what Thomas
said about you last night.
452
00:19:00,769 --> 00:19:01,895
You're the coolest.
453
00:19:01,978 --> 00:19:03,355
This is for you.
454
00:19:03,438 --> 00:19:04,981
[attendees] Aw!
455
00:19:05,065 --> 00:19:06,608
What the hell was that?
456
00:19:06,691 --> 00:19:09,277
I had a little chat with Kayla.
Gave her some sage wisdom.
457
00:19:09,361 --> 00:19:10,987
-What'd you tell her?
-The truth.
458
00:19:11,071 --> 00:19:13,573
The best way to gain power
is to artificially give it away.
459
00:19:13,657 --> 00:19:15,116
-Thank you.
-All right.
460
00:19:15,200 --> 00:19:16,284
Congratulations. Both of you.
461
00:19:16,368 --> 00:19:18,870
-So you solved it?
-Yep.
462
00:19:18,954 --> 00:19:21,706
At least until Lauren
gets her Invisalign out. I mean...
463
00:19:21,790 --> 00:19:23,083
Who is Lauren?
464
00:19:23,166 --> 00:19:24,543
Come on, dude.
465
00:19:24,626 --> 00:19:25,877
-You don't know who Lauren is?
-Wow.
466
00:19:25,961 --> 00:19:29,130
You guys are obsessed with the students
in a way that is weird to me.
467
00:19:30,674 --> 00:19:36,263
♪ Close your eyes
Give me your hand, darling... ♪
468
00:19:38,598 --> 00:19:39,599
What's up?
469
00:19:40,183 --> 00:19:41,184
Um.
470
00:19:42,477 --> 00:19:46,481
You kind of just left before we
had a chance to finish our conversation.
471
00:19:47,774 --> 00:19:48,942
I did?
472
00:19:49,609 --> 00:19:50,861
Yeah.
473
00:19:52,737 --> 00:19:54,781
[chuckles] Yeah.
I guess I felt like I was, like...
474
00:19:54,865 --> 00:19:55,866
[clears throat]
475
00:19:56,741 --> 00:20:00,579
The longer I stayed out there,
the more I was gonna say insane shit.
476
00:20:00,662 --> 00:20:01,997
[both chuckle]
477
00:20:02,080 --> 00:20:04,416
It's probably the right instinct.
478
00:20:05,959 --> 00:20:06,960
Yeah.
479
00:20:07,544 --> 00:20:09,379
I don't know what's
wrong with me sometimes.
480
00:20:10,380 --> 00:20:12,549
Honestly, I kinda liked
seeing you like that.
481
00:20:13,675 --> 00:20:14,676
It was cute.
482
00:20:16,761 --> 00:20:17,762
Really?
483
00:20:18,680 --> 00:20:19,681
Really.
484
00:20:25,812 --> 00:20:26,813
[chuckles]
485
00:20:27,939 --> 00:20:29,524
But you have a boyfriend.
486
00:20:29,608 --> 00:20:31,735
It's not the '50s, man.
487
00:20:31,818 --> 00:20:33,403
We're open.
488
00:20:34,237 --> 00:20:37,991
-Oh, you're open. Of course.
-Yeah. [chuckles]
489
00:20:38,575 --> 00:20:40,619
-Yeah.
-That makes sense.
490
00:20:40,702 --> 00:20:43,705
♪ Or is this burning ♪
491
00:20:44,289 --> 00:20:48,084
♪ An eternal flame? ♪
492
00:20:48,168 --> 00:20:49,628
♪ Close your eyes ♪
493
00:20:49,711 --> 00:20:51,254
-Jesus. Jesus. Jesus.
-[clamoring]
494
00:20:51,338 --> 00:20:52,839
-What the hell, man?
-This was a mistake.
495
00:20:52,923 --> 00:20:54,299
-What wrong with you?
-This was a mistake.
496
00:20:54,382 --> 00:20:58,803
I got caught up in the moment,
and that doesn't matter though,
497
00:20:58,887 --> 00:21:02,474
-because that moment did not even happen.
-[clamoring continues]
498
00:21:03,141 --> 00:21:05,727
Okay. Okay.
499
00:21:05,810 --> 00:21:08,146
So you're like crazy, crazy.
500
00:21:08,897 --> 00:21:09,981
Got it.
501
00:21:10,065 --> 00:21:11,233
I'm gonna leave.
502
00:21:13,235 --> 00:21:15,195
Good. That's what I want you to do.
503
00:21:15,278 --> 00:21:22,202
♪ I can dream about you
If I can't hold you tonight ♪
504
00:21:23,745 --> 00:21:30,752
♪ I can dream about you
You know how to hold me just right ♪
505
00:21:32,254 --> 00:21:39,010
♪ I can dream about you
You know how to hold me just right ♪
506
00:21:39,553 --> 00:21:43,557
♪ Oh, I can dream about you ♪
507
00:21:44,391 --> 00:21:48,311
♪ If I can't hold you tonight ♪
508
00:21:49,437 --> 00:21:51,940
♪ I can dream about you ♪
509
00:21:52,858 --> 00:21:56,862
♪ Oh, I can dream, I can dream ♪
510
00:21:57,612 --> 00:22:00,991
-♪ I can dream about you ♪
-♪ Dream about you ♪
511
00:22:01,074 --> 00:22:04,411
{\an8}♪ Oh, I can dream about you ♪
39099
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