Original subtitles

♪ Hey, Shanghai Joe

♪ baby little Shanghai Joe

♪ when you are near me

♪ I feel sure, I feel good

♪ because you make me quite

♪ Shanghai Joe

♪ Hey, yellow bond

♪ baby little yellow bond

♪ You know me,

♪ gotta rock

♪ you got the power

♪ in your hand

♪ little yellow bond

♪ suppose to be

♪ If there are some trouble, trouble

♪ if there is some bad men, bad men

♪ if somebody tried to be unfair

♪ with a smiling face, face

♪ with a soul in place, place

♪ with the worse on hand

♪ you make all right

♪ Hey, Shanghai Joe

♪ baby little Shanghai Joe

♪ when you are near me

♪ I feel sure, I feel good

♪ because you make me quite

♪ Shanghai Joe

♪ because you make me quite

♪ Shanghai Joe ♪

- Give him room.

Get back.

He begins, be calm.

- Find us water; we need water.

Water, water, you must find us water!

- By the stars above, will you people

stop distracting me?

I told you there's water here, and lots of it.

And my divine rod will find it.

Now be patient!

- Let him work.

- You must be patient.

- Tell me, is this the place?

- It's here, it's here, it's here, it's here!

Thank you, kindly.

Thank you ladies, my divine rod never fails.

- Why does this dirty water stink so?

- Now take it easy, calm down and don't excited.

It'll slowly get cleaner and cleaner.

- What is this some diarrhea?

Not water; it's diarrhea!

- This is a river from the hell!

This man is from the devil!

- Calm down, calm down, I said.

- You cheated us!

- Violence; he didn't do it on purpose!

It was a mistake, calm down please!

No, please, don't harm him, please!

- You're all a fool, that's what you are.

You're stupid peasants; y'all oughta be thankin' me!

- That's enough, stop!

- You don't deserve the oil.

You're all a bunch of ignorant idiots; ignorant!

- Petroleum, and you're sure?

- I have never seen a liquid so black that stinks so much.

- Discovered by a water debacle?

- A charlatan; a big fat man who travels around

in his wagon cheating people.

- You said it's desert land?

- You will find only rocks and sagebrush,

and the land is burned out.

- I'll pick it up for a few dollars.

Start working on it.

- Right away, Mr. Barnes.

- Hey, not so fast; what's the idea of barging in here?

- Excuse me, Mr Barnes!

They just told me that Pedro Gomez and his band

are making a camp at Mesa Rubia.

It might be a good time to set up an ambush.

- Perfect, first you do away with Pedro Gomez,

then you clear out the Mexican beach.

- Right away, let's go.

- I'll move out the Mexicans, don't worry about that.

- Well, Gideon, we marked the sun and it comes right to us.

Yep, Mercury and Venus is suppose to bring us good fortune.

You just don't understand...

- Devil's hikers, come on, Gideon;

let's get out of their way!

Hurry up, come on!

Oh, my stores are right in the middle!

End of the world!

Thank heavens that's over at last.

How do you feel, Gideon?

I thought we were goners for sure.

I guess them planets are protecting us afterall.

Okay, here we go, gotta get goin'.

Go on, Gideon!

Go on, go on, go on, that a boy!

- Thanks, my friend; you just saved my life.

- Today is not a good day for my hat.

What's going on here?

- I'd say that's a bad wound.

- Good morning.

I would like to buy a little milk, some oats for my horse,

and, if possible, a place to pass the night.

Perhaps, you speak another language.

- Gee, we are Mexicans and these women

do not understand you; what do you want?

- Good morning, Señor.

I want only to purchase a little milk, some oats

for my horse, and a decent place to sleep.

- You have come to the wrong village.

I am afraid we can offer you nothing.

- Well, maybe a little bit of water.

- And water least of all.

Because, my friend, not one drop of water do we have.

Nor milk, or the oats; these people are starving.

- What is this strange smell?

- Petroleum, it's a curse.

We wanted a wizard to find water for us,

instead he found oil.

- Well, then you are all rich!

- Rich?

Must I repeat it again that we are dying of thirst here.

- Who's your head man?

- Here, there is no one head man.

- All right, who do I speak to then?

- Depends on what you want, but speak now with me.

- All right, you have to clear out of this village everyone.

- Clear out, but why?

- Because this land don't belong to you.

- Well, we were born here; my people have always lived here.

What talk is this to leave?

- It's not talk, take all your people,

gather all your possessions, and get out!

- You have an hour's time, so you better tell 'em.

- Go on, tell 'em in your own lingo what they gotta do.

- What of the old, and the babies?

Besides, where can we go?

- Pardon, but why must they leave their land?

- And who are you, Mr. China?

- Only a humble traveler in your country.

But in my opinion, it's unjust to send

away those who tend the land unless

you give them some good reason.

- They move and that's that.

- And it's none of your business!

♪ Hey, Shanghai Joe

♪ baby little Shanghai Joe

♪ when you are near me

♪ I feel sure, I feel good

♪ because you make me quite

♪ Shanghai Joe

♪ Hey, yellow bond

♪ baby little yellow bond

♪ You know me

- No!

Quick, I think it's time we left, hurry, hurry!

- Yah! Yah! Yah!

♪ If there are some trouble, trouble

♪ if there is some bad men, bad men

♪ if somebody tried to be unfair

♪ with a smiling face, face

♪ with a soul in place, place

♪ with the worse on hand

♪ you make all right ♪

- Gracias, gracias my friend.

- You have saved our village.

- Gracias!

- Here, drink this.

- What crap are you making me drink?

What is it, poison?

- Drink it, it's sweet and damn good;

it'll make you feel better.

It's a mixture of capsella bursa-pastoris.

An anti-hemorrhage herb and matricaria

that'll calm you down.

You'll spend a right, restful night; you'll see.

- But how about tequila?

I remember my mother gave me a little

to cure me from measles.

Tequila make good everything.

Listen, I'm doing everything that's possible for ya,

but you have a bullet in your stomach;

and that's something I just can't handle.

You need a surgeon as fast as possible.

- No, no, the surgeons are in the city

and I never go into the city.

And I don't want nobody opening my stomach.

My stomach will get used to having

a little bit of led inside.

I go into the city; never.

But why have you done this?

You don't even know me.

- Well what's the difference?

You're only suppose to care for those you know

and let the others just die?

- But you don't know my name.

- You're someone who needs help; that's enough for me.

- I'm Pedro Gomez, a bandit.

- Very glad to know ya, I'm Bill Cannon.

- But the name means nothing?

I terrorized this whole country.

- Oh, who gives a damn?

You better try to sleep now;

you'll feel better in the morning.

You better not try some trick to me,

'cause if you do, I...

- No, no, no go to sleep, you'll be safe.

Go on.

- You're both idiots.

Two perfect idiots.

We had two beautiful opportunities presented to us

and you couldn't execute either one of them properly.

- We wiped out the whole Pedro Gomez gang;

Not a one of them got away!

- And Pedro?

Where is Pedro Gomez?

If I don't have his corpse, I don't collect the reward.

- But boss...

- And that business at the Mexican village, hmm?

One China man.

Just one all alone.

- But that's how it was Mr. Barnes.

- Unarmed too, hmm?

- I'll tell ya, I've never seen anything like it.

All alone with no gun and he had

everybody lying on the ground.

He was making jumps and leaps

with an incredible agility and strength that's...

- I don't wanna hear anymore.

Some days you can't get anything right.

Get a little rest now.

Tomorrow you know what you have to do.

- Yes, sir.

- Tomorrow is the 29th of July;

the stagecoach leaves San Juan.

- And on that stage...

- Will be the new judge.

- Who is comin' to replace our friend,

the late Judge Norton.

- That is correct.

Our plan has been worked out carefully;

We've been over every detail.

And if you fail this time,

- You know what will happen to ya.

- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!

- And you.

Now get outta here!

- Steady, steady.

Damn, it got away, how did that happen?

- With those things; what you make?

- Everything, potions and brews that'll work miracles!

- You know you are a funny man.

Muy simpático, I will stay well with you.

You have knowledge of many strange things.

- Well, yeah I know lots of things.

I know, for example, the stars tell me

a great famine's comin' soon.

And these supplies are beginning to dwindle away.

If I don't get to some villages and start selling

some potions and elixirs, we're gonna have

to be satisfied with eating grass; becoming a cow.

- They see me,

they will kill me.

No villages for me.

- Well no, you'll be well hidden in the wagon

no one will see ya.

Well, I could even convince the doctor

to take that bullet out of you.

I'll say you're a relative of mine;

you'll see, he won't suspect.

- No, it's too much of a risk.

I will make it; I'll be all right.

Maybe you're right.

Better take me with you to a village.

- Here are your two leads.

- Thanks Joe, let's get 'em hitched.

- Excuse me.

- Yes?

- Permit me, my name is Garcia, Manuel Garcia.

You're also going inland?

- Yes.

- Ah, you're traveling alone?

- No, with my father, Judge Finney.

- Ah.

- Packages safe up there?

- Yes sir, it's tied down good Judge.

- Heyah, Heyah!

- Gracias, Shanghai, adiós!

- Come back soon.

- Goodbye, my friend.

- You're always welcome.

- Do not leave this land, stay here.

Here you will find riches and good fortune

for you and your children.

- Adiós!

- Adiós, Shanghai.

- I want you to know, I've not come

to this public place in your beautiful city

to waste your time, no.

My products are known in every state

in the Union and most of the world!

I have a cure a for every man and all animals.

My medicines don't know the difference.

Are you constipated?

With my laxative natural herbs,

you'll be able to move freely.

Anyone got diarrhea?

With a little of my extract-o-bris,

you'll never want to sit down again.

Anyone got bad breath?

A sip of this, and your mouth will smell like roses!

Bad headaches?

Throw a little nices and ladies get.

Bad earache?

Hangnail?

I can cure you all!

Now, who's first to enjoy good health?

There's a remedy for each and all.

A little sip 'bout half-hour before

and you will latch har!

20 cents.

- Hey, I suffer from migraines!

- You don't make mistake on the dose

cause otherwise you'll, hmm?

Yeah?

- I always got bad headaches.

- Turn about a bit.

Well, with all that shoutin' and reverberating

and your big head, I can't help ya.

- I don't know why, but at night,

my stomach's swells up with that

and I start making terrible stinks.

- That'll be 20 cents, just take one spoon before meals

and don't forget to open the window, just in case.

For those of you with lice, or the purple uglies,

you've come to the right man, yes sir!

Step right up, ladies and gentlemen.

Remember, there's nothing more precious than good health.

And my potions and elixirs will cure all your ill.

I'm sure you suffer from lumbago.

- We all suffer from aches and pains in the stagecoach,

I imagine the judge suffers the same.

- Oh, judge, excuse me your honor.

- You're quite right, young fellow,

but unfortunately, only a mild case; quite painful however.

- Aha, well I have an exceptional product for ya.

Just rub on this liquid lightly where it hurts,

and the pain goes away immediately!

And a free sample of my perfume, for the young lady.

- She's my daughter.

- Enjoy.

- Well, thank you.

- What do I owe ya?

- 20 cents; only 20 cents and you'll see how well ya feel.

- Thank you, and good day to you.

- Thank you, Judge, and have a good trip!

Step right up folks, I have every cure for every ill.

Why suffer when I can make you

well with my miracle medicine.

Medicines are in demand all over

the United States and the world!

- Mr Barnes, I've finished it if you'd like to read.

- Yeah.

Yeah, yeah fine.

Right now they should be leaving Condor.

- Right on time, let's go!

- Hey, hold up!

- Ho there, Ho!

- What do you what, mister?

- Well, my horse went lame and I had to should 'em.

Got room for me to the nearest town?

- Where ya headed?

- I was suppose to go to Tucson,

but I'll get off wherever I can find another horse.

- Give me your saddle.

- Appreciate it.

- All right, nobody move!

- Everyone out here!

Hurry up, get movin'!

♪ Hey, Shanghai Joe

♪ baby little Shanghai Joe

♪ when you are near me

♪ I feel sure, I feel good

♪ because you make me quite

♪ Shanghai Joe

♪ Hey, yellow bond

- Sure sorry there wasn't any doctor in that town.

Business went pretty well.

Yeah we got supplies that'll last a week.

Where should we go?

The hills, the plains?

Or should we camp on the back of some nice lake, huh?

Hey.

- I'm not gonna worry you any longer.

- What's wrong, Pedro?

- It's the end, mi amigo.

It's over.

- What are you saying?

Wait a minute, well I got

the best thing in the world for ya.

- Tequila; give me a drink of tequila.

There's no hope for me anymore.

Please, Bill.

Let me die happy please.

Tequila.

- Okay, amigo, whatever you want.

But be careful.

Drink it slowly, slowly, slowly.

Don't start chokin'.

- Tequila is like the mother's milk.

Bill, my voice, it comes difficult for me to speak.

Come here, I must tell you something very important.

You are the only person who makes me feel always safe;

always good, amigo.

You helped me, without asking me anything.

You have given the most beautiful days of my life.

I want to thank you.

I was a partner of Señor Barnes, in Glenwood City,

but he stole all the money and fixed the judge against me.

They put a big price on my head.

But, the only thing I have to give you

is the 1,000 dollars reward.

Take my body to the sheriff.

- Pedro, Pedro.

- Come over here.

- What is it?

- I got the impression there's a common right.

We're missing 200 dollars.

- I know, you forgot to carry the five.

- No, no, no, no.

- Ho!

- What happened?

- Help us, we were attacked by bandits; Jakes badly wounded.

Get him to a doctor, quick.

Where's the sheriff, where's the sheriff?

- Here I am, right here.

- Are you sheriff Wilson?

- That's right.

- I'm Judge Finney.

- Ah, pleased to meet you.

- Ah!

- Would you care to explain why

you did not send any men as

escort guards for the mail coach?

In spite of a special law of Congress

requiring you to do so?

- Well, that law of Congress refers to violent cities;

this is a peaceful town.

- Well, I'm sorry, you happen to be

completely wrong.

- Excuse me, Judge.

What happened?

- Bandits attacked the stage, that's what happened.

- You're Judge Finney?

- Yes, that's my name.

- Ah, welcome to Glenwood City.

My name is Barnes, Pat Barnes.

I'm so sorry, it's a terrible shame about the bandits.

It's strange because it's the first act

of violence we've known.

- We must be thankful, a mysterious China man

suddenly arrived and started to fight

the bandits by himself;

if not, we wouldn't be here.

- Papa, the baggage is ready.

- Mr Barnes, my daughter Carol.

- Ah, it's a pleasure.

Sheriff, would you escort them to their new homes?

- Yes, sir.

- Mr. Barnes.

- This way, your honor.

- Miss Carol, you mind if I visit you?

- With pleasure.

- I hope, young man you, give us time to move in.

- But of course, your Honor.

- I think you'll like the house judge; it's not far.

- That suitcase is mine.

- Hurry up with those bags, let's go.

- WANTED dead or alive FOR MURDER

PEDRO GOMEZ; reward one grand.

What do you think of that?

Least I'll see you'll get a good burial.

You've been so generous to me.

It's your last wish, huh?

At least, that's what you said.

And you're already dead; can't hardly hang ya.

Let's go, Gideon.

Go!

- You idiot, now just start telling me what happened!

- The China man.

- The hell with the China man!

- Everything was going just like you planned.

All we had to do was kill the judge.

But this China man suddenly jumped us

like a bolt of lightning; I just managed to escape!

- Now that micah during the fight,

did the China man get a good look at your faces?

- Yes, I'm sure he most of.

- Well, then you can't afford

to have them seen around Glenwood.

- Yeah, you're absolutely right!

You deserve to be shot!

But, fortunately, I'm generous.

Get out!

- Oh no, you remind me of a kangaroo bouncing like that.

- Hey, where's Mr. Barnes?

- Mr. Barnes is in his office!

- All right.

- What a dumb question.

- Thank you, sir.

Now, arms up!

Thank you.

12, 24, 26.

Oh, I'd better get the tape measure.

- Do you think this will fit?

- He's a mountain; I don't think so.

I don't know what to, oh...

Oh no!

Excuse me.

Please not there, here!

- No.

You shouldn't have paid.

You should of asked me before you paid him.

Are you sure it was Pedro Gomez?

- Couldn't be any mistake.

- A bullet in his stomach?

- He probably carried that bullet sometime.

- Thank you, sheriff; you can go now.

- Well, I'm very sorry.

- That's all right.

- Good bye, sir.

- Your men missed a bullet,

and fatso must have found him dead.

Or maybe he found him still living.

And Pedro told him everything.

That man is dangerous.

Much too dangerous.

- I assure you, I was just...

Nice fella.

- You old friend of mine,

time to put you out in the pasture;

it's heartbreaking for me.

- Good morning, sir.

- Uh, sir.

- Are you sirring me?

- Certainly, I've got a proposition for ya.

In as much that I'm leaving the city for work reasons,

I'd like to sell you my horse.

At a very good bargain.

- You mean a saddle horse?

- A magnificent thoroughbred!

- Oh, no I couldn't do that;

that'd be too cruel to the poor animal.

You know I weigh 320 pounds; I'd break his back.

But you know what'd be good for me?

- What?

- A damn fine traveling horse

with a good carriage, you know?

That's what I really need for myself.

- Well, you come along with me.

Notice how responsive he is;

it's almost like he can read your mind, huh?

Well, ya convinced?

Give me the reins a minute.

- What are you gonna do?

- I'm gonna show you just how the shock absorbers work.

Even on rough ground.

Hah!

- Well, howdy!

- Mornin'.

- Woah!

- Okay, get out.

- But I don't get it.

- You will.

Stand still.

He's all yours.

- Fat slob, take a hold of this tree.

- It's forbidden to smoke here.

Out of the way, make room.

How do you like that?

And that?

And this?

Hey slim, you got that rope ready?

I'm all out of breath.

- You, bring some water!

Drink!

Go on, drink my friend; you'll feel better.

♪ Hey, Shanghai Joe

♪ baby little Shanghai Joe

♪ when you are near me

♪ I feel sure, I feel good

♪ because you make me quite

♪ Shanghai Joe

♪ Hey, yellow bond

♪ baby little yellow bond

♪ You know me,

♪ gotta rock

♪ got the power

♪ in your hand

♪ little yellow bond

♪ suppose to be

♪ If there are some trouble, trouble

♪ if there is some bad men, bad men

♪ if somebody tried to be unfair

♪ with a smiling face, face

♪ with a soul in place, place

♪ with the worse on hand

♪ you make all right ♪

- That man was suppose to hang, what happened to him?

- You dummy!

- Hold your fire; do not shoot, I am on your side!

I am the one who saved you from those guys

who wanted to hang you, don't you recognize me?

- Huh?

And what do you want from me?

- I only want my horse and my belongings returned.

I brought you another one; it's over there.

- You better not be playing some dirty trick on me,

now I warn ya.

- You have my word.

Even though now, I sure wish I'd let them hang you.

Confucius say, "You do not answer with evil,

"when you have been given good."

- Excuse me, I must have lost my head.

Just been robbed by those bastards.

- Yes I know, I watched it all.

But I don't understand why the whipping and hanging.

They've already robbed you.

I think they're is another reason

that you do not want to get out.

- Well I don't know anything, I'm just a poor sucker.

I've never seen more than one dollar in my life.

- Oh, those roll of bills I saw you carrying around,

you stole it?

- Oh no; the story's too long to tell.

It was a reward on a bandit.

- What bandit?

- Just like I told ya, it's a very long story,

you don't want to hear it.

Well, my name is Bill Cannon, I thank you.

- Shanghai Joe, good luck.

- Thanks again, pal, for all your assistance.

- Hello.

Can you take care of my horse?

He's hungry and tired, he needs a place to rest,

and some hay and water.

- Sí, Señor, I'll take good care of him.

- Ah, perhaps you could suggest a place to stay the night.

- At the Silver Star, Señor; you'll like it.

It has very good cooking, and the most

beautiful girls in the west.

It's one of the places that belong to Señor Barnes.

- He must be a great man this Señor Barnes.

- I think maybe he owns the whole city.

- Good for him, you'll take care of my horse then?

- Like he is my own, Señor.

- The deceased Judge Norton was about

to make public that new ordinance

when, well, we all know who bought his heart.

What I'm trying to say is that

if my opinion is worth anything,

is to wait a few days if for no other reason

than to size up the situation.

- I'm sure you'll find I have enough evidence

to understand the situation.

I agree that a man in Barnes' position might have enemies.

But, over here I have a charge for setting fire

to a man's farmland, and over here for extortion,

and so on, and so on.

Without meaning any disrespect for

the decisions of my predecessors,

I intend to rehear all the testimony

of all parties concerned.

- But, your Honor, it's always been a peaceful town.

- Certainly, with Barnes you either obey or you get buried.

- They are very beautiful!

You can't imagine, Señorita, how happy

I am your family has a woman in the house!

The poor judge was alone with a bad heart,

drank too much, and he was always grumbling.

Not that he wasn't a good person.

Oh, I will answer.

Buenos dias, Señor Manuel, come in.

- Good morning, with these being your first days,

I thought you might not have had time to go shopping

so I thought you'd...

- Que bonito, what a beautiful thought!

I will put him with the others.

- Are you really Mexican?

- Yes, but why?

- I thought all Mexicans had dark eyes.

- Oh, but I went to school in England.

No, wait!

I'll help ya.

My father doesn't know I came to see you,

he's still in the old school.

Mexicans don't like the Yankees.

- Manuel.

- Good morning, your Honor.

- I will do everything possible to make Ol' Garcia,

change his mind about us Yankees.

- Thank you, sir.

- There's my handsome little dude

- Hoorah, you won!

- Coming up again.

- Get us another round here, will ya Andy?

- All right honey, just keep your hands to yourself.

- How come your mother lets you out of the room?

- Because she knows I'm an honest girl.

Besides, it was my momma who taught me

how to behave at night.

If momma could see me now, she'd have a heart attack!

- The gentleman loses all.

- Including me.

- Ya both can go to hell!

- All right top-knot, let's see your style.

- Here are the dice.

- Behave yourself now!

- Oh come on, doll, just a little!

- What are you trying to do to me, eat my earring?

- He wins again.

- He's winning!

Oh, that's marvelous!

- The gentleman wins again.

- The gentleman wins.

- Let's go then!

- Oh wait, have another drink first.

- Good evening, Mr Barnes.

- Change the dice?

- No.

- Now what should I do about 'em?

- We'll let him win; someone will rob him

when he's in his room.

- Thank you, that's enough.

- With your lucky, why are you stopping now?

- Confucius teach us not to be greedy.

- Why don't we celebrate your winning

with a bottle of champaigne?

- I don't drink, but why don't you two

go ahead and drink my health, anyway.

I'm dead tired, I want to go to sleep now.

- Bye!

- Come on.

You two.

Upstairs; you two over there, hurry!

- No sight of him!

- My pleaure.

- I did not expect to see you around here at this hour.

- Well, I was actually looking for something

to stick twixt my teeth.

Went back to the kitchen and found me a campine

and I'd finish the leg, and was starting on a wing

when I heard all that commotion.

- So, you save life of Shanghai?

- And that makes us even.

Hey, why don't you teach me them alphabet tricks of yours.

A, E, I, O, U.

The feet and the hands.

Teach me that and I'll teach you how to use this.

All right, it's a deal.

- I'm asking you if you're sure those were Barnes' men.

- Yes, very sure.

And his lawyer was there too.

You well know that that land never yielded a thing.

Just a hunk of desert.

But that Chinese convinced us that

from now on it's our fortune.

- So, say that is true that there's oil below.

All the more reason to keep it out of the hands of Barnes.

He's arrived today in Glenwood, that new Judge,

and the word is he's an upstanding gentleman.

- Yes, papa, he's honest very courageous.

- Let us say thanks to God.

It's far past the hour in this town,

that we return to peace and justice.

- No, the hand more rigid, like this.

Fingers together and make big chest.

Okay, very good!

Now, fake to the neck and kick to the stomach.

Ready?

- Yeah, but you're not to move.

- No, I won't move.

About ready?

Come on, to the attack; I'm waiting.

- Here I come!

How am I doing maestro?

- Not bad.

But please remember, it's your adversary

that's suppose to fall.

- Cigar?

- No, thank you.

- As I understand it, Mr Barnes, you came

out here to Glenwood from the east five years ago.

- Exactly.

- And at that time, I believe you were

a struggling real esate agent.

- Your Honor, I don't quite see what you're driving at.

- In that relatively short period,

you've managed to become the owner of all the land

in the surrounding territory.

And there is not a business in town

you have no interest in.

- I admit that I've been very, shall we say, lucky.

And to my knowledge, there's nothing illegal

in such enterprises.

It's my nose for a good buy.

- I see.

But apparently, you're not aware of the regulations

governing land in this country

written in the law by the Congress of the United States.

It speaks clearly of illicitly gained wealth

and particularly, in regard to land of recent annexation.

- In my case, sir, every purchase was completely legal.

My lawyer did the registering; Johnathon Smith,

who is also, of course, and incidentally

the town tax collector.

The transaction was handled through your predecessor.

All properties were registered in his courthouse.

- That's not speak of contracts.

Contracts are always absolutely legal.

No, I allude to the manner in which

the contracts were obtained.

I have here, for example, a certain Romon Garcia.

This citizen says that his contract was extorted;

that it was got from him in a way

that was most un-businesslike,

and he's taking legal action against you.

- This Garcia, the man is clearly very jealous

of another success, you see.

And because of this he indulges

in these childish, silly accusations.

- I intend to discover the truth in court, Mr Barnes.

- As your right, Your Honor.

- Papa...

Oh, sorry I didn't mean...

- Good morning, miss.

- I wanted to ask your permission

to go into town to do some shopping.

- Well, our business is finish I think, can I go now?

- Of course, Mr. Barnes.

- Judge.

Miss.

- Papa, you know what I think?

- What dear?

- He's a real gentleman, isn't he?

- He seems like a gentleman.

- What are you doing here?

- The Judge sent someone to get me.

- Why?

- How should I know?

- That one's cagey, I wish she'd never arrived.

- It's been a whole lot better.

- Just a second, are you afraid?

- No, no, why should I be afraid?

- Allow me.

- Miss.

Since I'm going into town, may I offer you a ride?

- Thanks, but I prefer to walk.

- But my dear, that lovely dress, those pretty shoes;

they'll get all dusty.

The road's in such rotten condition.

You are a beautiful woman.

Your father has a bad opinion of me.

I hope he changes his mind.

I'm a great admirer of Judge Fenney,

and an even greater admirer of his daughter.

- Please stop here.

- You've got the quality to be

the First Lady here, you know.

- Thank you for the lift.

- Miss Fenney, pleasure to see you.

- Hello, Manuel.

- How's your father?

- Fine, thank you.

- Everything all right?

- Well, yes, are you open?

- By all means.

Carlos, take care of the lady.

- This way ma'am, at your service.

- Thank you.

- So, I told him I was absolutely

no where near the vicinity.

But that Judge Fenney, says the whole population

of the Mexican village, is ready to swear it;

that I was there that day.

- It was a mistake to deny it, stupid.

- You should have said you were just passing by chance.

- I know, I know, but answering all those questions,

I got rattled, you know.

- I warned ya he was formidable judge.

Well, he knows all about the oil.

- But I said nothin' of oil, it's the truth, honestly.

- Those new fellas have arrived in.

Looks like they're all ready to go to work.

Bad news?

- Oh no, no, no, on the contrary,

thanks to our brilliant lawyer here,

Judge Fenney will owe us an apology.

Thank you, counselor, and good night.

- Good night, Mr. Barnes.

- Sleep well.

- Good night.

- What happened?

- He's beside himself with fear.

I wonder what he told the judge.

- That fool's testimony could kill us!

- But the dead can't bear witness.

- The gentleman has won again.

- Thanks.

- Won again.

- No more, I don't want to ask too much of fortune.

Thanks.

- You lost, I'm afraid.

- And the gentleman has lost again.

There you are.

- How come I lost?

- With those dice you can't possibly win.

- Why?

- Because they're crooked.

- Give me my money and open your mouth.

- Ay?

- One, give me the dough.

Two, open your mouth.

- Hey!

- I am in danger and ask the aid of Shanghai Joe.

I await you tomorrow at the Three Ox.

I remain very truly yours, Johnathon Smith.

- His back's broken and you did it.

You're a killer!

- No, it's not true!

- Give us just one of your blows.

- What's going on?

- He killed a lawyer and we're hangin' him.

- The lawyer was killed?

- Yeah, and he did it.

- Well, you have no right to take

the law into your own hands.

- You mind your own damn business!

- Well, if this ain't my business, what is?

- What's all this about?

- They're accusing him of killing Lawyer Smith.

- In this part of the country, there's an unwritten law.

- Hang him!

- Stop, stop it I say!

Make way here, make way!

I ordered you to suspend this execution.

- All our law abiding citizens want him hanged.

- These are our law abiding citizens?

Justice in this part of the country

is rendered by me and by me alone.

- He's the one who robbed me,

this low-down snape to try to kill me.

- That's enough, this will also get cleared up later.

Sheriff, I order you to arrest and throw in jail

this man they're accusing of murder.

If he's guilty, it'll take proving in a court trial.

- Silence!

Prepare the gallows in the middle of town square.

If he's guilty he'll hang but we're obliged

to give him a fair trial.

Quiet!

We gotta get him out of here.

- Come over here.

Come over here and see, Carol.

This beautiful land was all ours

before that Barnes managed to cheat us out of everything.

As far as that hill there.

- Tomorrow is the trial.

You'll see, my father will straighten it all out.

- I have the utmost confidence in your father.

You know that, once we've gotten back

all that was taken from us, well then.

- Then?

- I want to ask your father something very imporant.

- Why is it such a secret?

You can tell me, you know.

What do you want from dad?

- Your hand in marriage.

- Oh, I am so delighted, really!

Manuel is so likable and handsome!

- Good day, Miss Carol.

Excuse me, but I'd like a private word

with you if I may.

- Excuse me.

- I wanted to say, that you just arrived here recently,

and you don't know the people who live in this town.

They're a gossipy lot and you don't do well

to be seen with Manuel Garcia.

His family, unfortunately, is on the edge of ruin.

You can do better.

Tomorrow's trial will be a joke.

Nobody's going to testify against me.

- Because the one person who was capable

of infringing evidence against you was murdered last night.

And dead men can't talk, so some men take no chances.

Men like Johnathon Smith, who before he was murdered,

gave me a written confession that tells all.

- I want to wish you the best of luck.

- It's you who need the luck, I assure you.

Before you sneer, you better remember that.

- At your disposal, sir.

My regards, ma'am.

- Magia, remain with my daughter.

Carol, return to the house, I have work to do.

- Sí, Señor.

- Your, Honor.

- Well, tomorrow will be as brief as possible.

I have incontrovertible evidence

against Barnes and his band.

- Judge, I hope you're aware that this man

you're accusing has a lot of influence.

He changed the lives of everybody

when he arrived in this valley.

- Change, yes; only for the better or for the worse?

I'd say the worse.

Now let's finish with Barnes.

I have a warrant here for his arrest; go to it.

- Well you see...

- This town is my responsibility, do you understand?

- How is he?

- Pretty fair; sleeping like a baby

and he's got a temperature.

We'll string him up and he won't even know it.

It ain't fair, and it ain't fun.

- Keep an eye on him, all right?

- Sure.

- Good night.

- Hope it ain't yellow fever.

- Hey!

Hey!

Psst!

- What's the matter?

You dreamin' of little angels?

Don't worry, you'll be flying with them tomorrow.

- Yeah, I had some wings of an angel.

- Hey!

Shanghai Joe!

It's me!

Hey, you know it.

It's Bill!

- Hey wait, don't leave the keys.

Lock him in!

Come on, Shanghai, you can do it!

- All right, inside!

Go on, move it!

Come on, make a sound.

- What the hell is so danged important

it couldn't wait 'til morning?

- I'm sorry Judge, but I gotta man here

who is in danger; he says he only feels safe

under your protection.

- You!

Weren't you locked up in jail?

- Oh, he was in jail, sure.

- But that was the safest place for him.

- Yeah, if you wanna be hang via the neck.

You got any doubts about his innocence, Judge?

Yeah, yes, I'm sure about his innocence.

No, no, what I meant to say was no,

you've done a very stupid thing.

Still, I suppose now you're free.

If you like you might give a helping hand to justice.

This morning, I put out an arrest warrant on Barnes.

But, I'm afraid the sheriff is not

really tough enough to serve it.

So I suggest you help him.

- Us?

- Yes.

- No, no, no.

I'm afraid I'm allergic to the law; I break out

in hives when I see a policeman around.

- Very well, your Honor.

Leave me free, and we'll protect the poor sheriff.

- You're right outta your mind!

That fever's done driven you loco!

Those rope burns on your neck

came from a noose!

You want more of those, huh?

- Hey, you!

- Me?

- Yeah, tell Barnes I wanna see him.

- He ain't here sheriff; he's at the corral over the hill.

- Right, thanks.

Yah!

- Come on!

- Hi, hello there, sheriff.

- Barnes, you're coming with me.

- What are you talking about?

- Just hand up your guns Barnes,

all right, and come with me.

- Ah, you know, I've grown kind of fond of this gun.

- I don't like that kind of threat Barnes.

Now come on, give me your gun.

- You must be crazy, but get out of here, go on.

Or I'll kill ya!

Go on!

- You've been acting high handed for many years now,

and I was weak enough to put up with it.

But not now, Barnes.

If you want, go ahead and kill me,

but you'll be finished!

- Go quick, back to the house!

- Woah!

- Sheriff!

- Don't worry, it ain't serious.

- But you, you're in jail; I put you there.

- Well, I was.

- Hold it.

The rest of you go on!

You come with me.

- Everything will be all right, don't worry about it.

- No!

No!

Let me go!

Help!

- Señorita!

Oh, Señorita!

Oh, Señorita!

- 25 cents for a hanged China man, ladies and gentlemen,

Only 25 cents for the most fashionable toy

you can buy in the west today.

25 cents and you'll make your children happy!

Here, look, you can undress him too.

- Oh god, can't anyone hear?

I'm locked up inside this god danged jail!

Can't you understand, I shouldn't be in here!

Listen, I'm not a prisoner, I'm the deputy sheriff!

The prisoner attacked me and he went and got away!

Call the law!

- Buenos Dias, Sir.

- Good morning.

- I'm Ramon Garcia.

- Pleasure.

- Hey, here's the sheriff!

- Listen everyone, listen to me!

Shanghai Joe is innocent, Barnes is the real criminal.

He's a killer of the worse kind and I can prove it!

But, I'm going to need your help to bring him into jail.

I need a few volunteers.

- Mr. Barnes is the one who built up this whole town.

- Yeah, that's right!

- Sheriff, I'd volunteer, but I've got a weak bladder

and it don't hold too long.

- And if we go against Barnes,

we'll all end up broke.

- Listen to me, I'm telling you what he really is!

You'll be living in fear the rest of your lives.

- Help, someone help!

Señor Judge, they kidnapped your daughter!

- What's that?

- Señor Barnes came and took her away.

- I'm with your sheriff!

- I'll come to, I want justice.

- We must help law and justice.

- Your law or Barnes' law, I wonder

which one is the strongest.

- The law of honest men.

Let's go!

- Barnes open the gate!

Barnes, I warn ya open the gate!

- Get down, you know I have to keep you alive!

That Mexican, Manuel, you love him don't you?

I'll make you change your mind.

I'll show him.

- No please!

- You and I know I can have anything in this world!

And what I can't buy, I just take!

So you might as well give yourself to me!

You'll learn to love it!

- Barnes, you haven't got a prayer!

Give yourself up!

- I'll breathe all my love, we'll escape from these idiots,

and I'll show you what real happiness is!

Stand back you bastards, I'm leaving here

and I'm taking Carol with me!

And don't anyone try to stop me!

- Manuel!

- Carol!

It's not serious.

- Don't make me kill you Barnes!

You're going back to justice!

- Filthy China man.

- Justice has been done.

- Thanks Shanghai Joe.

- Yeah, me too.

- Thanks for everything.

- Me, I didn't do nothin'.

- Oh, thank you too dear Bill.

- Oh, shucks.

- Finally here in Glenwood,

we'll be able to live and work in peace, gracias.

- Your Honor. - Don Ramon

- Yes? - Yes?

- There's something I'd like to ask.

- And we hope that you'll both

- You have my permission.

- Here's to wedding vows.

- I'll be on the way,

What you do?

- Well, if you got nothin' against it,

I'll go with you.

- I sort of doubt that you'll feel the same way

after you've seen what I have right here.

- Wanted for larsony and fraud.

Whatcha' carryin' this thing around for?

- He's part of a federal agent arsenal

having photographs of those that he's trackin' down.

I knew I was walkin' into a lion's den.

And I knew that Barnes would try to get me.

To be sure, I arranged to have myself protected

by the best federal agent in the United States.

Namely, Shanghai Joe!

- Chinese flat foot!

- You have helped a lot.

And I mean to show our undying gratitude.

So, I here by declare all charges withdrawn.

Anyway, the medicine I got from you

really did work miracles for me.

Have you got another bottle?

- Sure do!

- I'd appreciate it.

- Well, are you coming or not?

- What's the guarantee meal wise?

- Two squares a day and continental breakfast.

- Beat it!

Shucks, my reputation would be ruined!

An agent, a yellow peril!

I've never heard of such a dirty trick in my life!

I knew I couldn't trust you!

- Well then, I think I'll go this way.

- And I go that way.

I don't know anything, I'm just a poor sucker.

Hey!

Shanghai Joe!

Afetta!

Afetta, Shanghai!

Afetta me!

♪ When you are near me

♪ I feel sure, I feel good

♪ because you make me quite

♪ Shanghai Joe

♪ Hey, yellow bond

♪ baby little yellow bond

♪ You know me,

♪ gotta rock

♪ got the power

♪ in your hand

♪ little yellow bond

♪ suppose to be

♪ If there are some trouble, trouble

♪ if there is some bad men, bad men

♪ if somebody tried to be unfair

♪ with a smiling face, face

♪ with a soul in place, place

♪ with the worse on hand

♪ you make all right ♪