Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:01,000 --> 00:00:07,074
Subtitles downloaded from www.OpenSubtitles.org
2
00:00:10,398 --> 00:00:11,122
Richard.
3
00:00:11,445 --> 00:00:12,077
Ashens.
4
00:00:13,185 --> 00:00:14,289
Well this is the place.
5
00:00:15,213 --> 00:00:16,021
You sure?
6
00:00:16,360 --> 00:00:18,183
Bet my left hairy bollock on it.
7
00:00:18,598 --> 00:00:22,591
Thanks, Richard, that's a mental picture I'll treasure.
8
00:00:23,032 --> 00:00:24,396
Come on.
9
00:00:30,858 --> 00:00:32,445
I'm looking for Iqbal.
10
00:00:32,445 --> 00:00:34,501
Who is looking?
11
00:00:34,501 --> 00:00:35,736
I am.
12
00:00:35,736 --> 00:00:37,593
I don't understand.
13
00:00:46,671 --> 00:00:51,624
We. The two of us. Are looking for Iqbal.
14
00:00:51,992 --> 00:00:53,681
Where is he?
15
00:00:53,681 --> 00:00:55,029
Oh, why didn't you just say so?
16
00:00:55,029 --> 00:00:57,320
No need to get your knickers in a tit.
17
00:00:57,397 --> 00:00:59,582
He's in the back.
18
00:01:00,552 --> 00:01:02,066
Oh, no, you wait here.
19
00:01:02,066 --> 00:01:03,190
Again?!
20
00:01:03,190 --> 00:01:04,438
Why'd you bring me?
21
00:01:04,438 --> 00:01:06,406
You keep an eye on things, yeah?
22
00:01:06,450 --> 00:01:07,621
Fine.
23
00:01:20,600 --> 00:01:21,714
Are you Iqbal?
24
00:01:24,436 --> 00:01:25,812
You know why I'm here?
25
00:01:26,053 --> 00:01:29,352
Your very attractive friend tells me you're in the market for a Q-Mutt 17.
26
00:01:29,352 --> 00:01:30,878
Correct.
27
00:01:30,878 --> 00:01:31,892
Do you even know what that is?
28
00:01:31,892 --> 00:01:38,650
The Q-Mutt 17 is a rip-off of the Dancing Digidog, the most popular Christmas toy of 2002.
29
00:01:38,650 --> 00:01:42,650
It looks exactly the same as the real device, it was a quarter of the price,
30
00:01:42,650 --> 00:01:46,932
and rather than dancing, it simply emitted a series of loud beeps,
31
00:01:46,932 --> 00:01:48,858
and then fell over.
32
00:01:48,858 --> 00:01:50,438
Very impressive.
33
00:01:52,576 --> 00:01:53,907
So, can I see it then?
34
00:01:54,128 --> 00:01:56,059
Yeah. You may.
35
00:02:02,778 --> 00:02:03,814
Well can I see it then?!
36
00:02:03,861 --> 00:02:05,015
Alright mate, calm down!
37
00:02:05,015 --> 00:02:06,419
No need to get your knickers in a tit!
38
00:02:06,419 --> 00:02:07,925
What does that mean?
39
00:02:08,955 --> 00:02:10,231
Don't you worry.
40
00:02:24,243 --> 00:02:26,184
Who's your mama?!
41
00:02:26,475 --> 00:02:28,492
You are! Mummy!
42
00:02:28,835 --> 00:02:30,663
Why does she always need the reassurance?
43
00:02:32,434 --> 00:02:35,231
You guarantee that this is a rip-off Q-Mutt 17?
44
00:02:35,565 --> 00:02:36,483
Course!
45
00:02:36,483 --> 00:02:39,384
Look, do you want it or not? I've got ten buyers lined up, alright?!
46
00:02:39,636 --> 00:02:41,517
This tail is translucent.
47
00:02:41,517 --> 00:02:43,238
So? So what?!
48
00:02:43,238 --> 00:02:45,296
The Q-Mutt 17 had an opaque tail.
49
00:02:45,444 --> 00:02:48,263
This, is a genuine Digidog!
50
00:02:48,507 --> 00:02:50,157
You know nothin'!
51
00:02:50,163 --> 00:02:51,938
Oh, I think I do.
52
00:02:55,678 --> 00:02:59,724
The pain is indescribable!
53
00:03:01,713 --> 00:03:05,258
It's just water, mate. I was thirsty earlier on.
54
00:03:05,769 --> 00:03:09,999
Oh, sorry, I thought 'cause of the whole context, it was horrible chemicals or something.
55
00:03:09,999 --> 00:03:12,845
Oh, I can understand why you thought that, I mean, yeah, definitely tap water.
56
00:03:12,845 --> 00:03:15,136
Not filtered, but it's tap water.
57
00:03:19,747 --> 00:03:20,629
Do you want a towel?
58
00:03:20,629 --> 00:03:23,485
A towel, that'd be great, cheers man, I didn't see that there.
59
00:03:26,478 --> 00:03:28,469
Richard! Richard, he making a run for it!
60
00:03:28,469 --> 00:03:29,934
Cut him off in the alley!
61
00:03:29,934 --> 00:03:31,508
I'm on it!
62
00:03:31,508 --> 00:03:33,867
Sorry! I have to go!
63
00:03:34,327 --> 00:03:35,927
Remember me?
64
00:03:41,417 --> 00:03:43,329
Wait! My Facebook!
65
00:04:01,399 --> 00:04:02,668
Ugh! Not you!
66
00:04:02,668 --> 00:04:06,737
You always were a bit slow, weren't you, Rashens?
67
00:04:08,509 --> 00:04:09,657
Idiot!
68
00:04:22,230 --> 00:04:24,393
You were supposed to head that guy off!
69
00:04:24,393 --> 00:04:27,927
It turns out, that sniveling little turd, Nemesis was behind it all.
70
00:04:28,230 --> 00:04:29,793
I'm in the pub!
71
00:04:29,793 --> 00:04:30,516
Richard?
72
00:04:36,671 --> 00:04:38,526
This is why I work alone!
73
00:05:12,505 --> 00:05:15,805
# Nobody plays the game better,
74
00:05:16,470 --> 00:05:19,716
# But no one could play it much worse.
75
00:05:19,942 --> 00:05:23,488
# You alone know these rules to the letter,
76
00:05:23,747 --> 00:05:27,617
# And they spell out your mission, and curse.
77
00:05:27,861 --> 00:05:31,488
# Obsolete hardware from years ago,
78
00:05:31,736 --> 00:05:35,332
# Finding it all is your aim.
79
00:05:35,476 --> 00:05:38,971
# From thriftstores to eBay to Antique Roadshows,
80
00:05:39,301 --> 00:05:43,213
# Adventure is your favourite game.
81
00:05:42,471 --> 00:05:49,640
# Oh, and Ashens is your name.
82
00:05:54,354 --> 00:06:01,886
# But where will this lead in the end? For no man is an island of tat.
83
00:06:02,268 --> 00:06:09,048
# Perhaps what you need is a friend, could you imagine that?
84
00:06:09,792 --> 00:06:17,044
# Your mission's about to begin, if you don't lose then you might just win.
85
00:06:17,750 --> 00:06:23,170
# We're routing for you, you odd little bearded prat!
86
00:06:25,830 --> 00:06:29,192
# Terrible hardware from years gone by,
87
00:06:29,580 --> 00:06:33,136
# Worthless old relics, you claim.
88
00:06:33,226 --> 00:06:36,680
# There's one left to get now, don't give in and cry.
89
00:06:37,056 --> 00:06:40,159
# Adventure is your favourite game.
90
00:06:40,212 --> 00:06:47,236
# Oh, and Ashens is your name.
91
00:06:48,491 --> 00:06:50,743
# Or, is it Ashen?
92
00:06:51,217 --> 00:06:53,569
# I'm confused about the 'S'.
93
00:06:54,187 --> 00:06:56,444
# Ashen...s.
94
00:06:56,580 --> 00:06:59,276
# Ashen... uh... s.
95
00:07:57,118 --> 00:07:58,791
Hah! Stuart!
96
00:07:59,985 --> 00:08:01,350
Sorry, do I know you?
97
00:08:01,350 --> 00:08:02,263
It's me.
98
00:08:05,069 --> 00:08:05,933
It's Chef.
99
00:08:06,065 --> 00:08:06,971
Chef... What?
100
00:08:07,624 --> 00:08:08,730
Oh my God... Geoff?
101
00:08:08,730 --> 00:08:09,729
Geoffrey Excellence?
102
00:08:10,179 --> 00:08:11,475
I didn't recognise you!
103
00:08:11,475 --> 00:08:12,221
Yeah...
104
00:08:12,221 --> 00:08:15,208
I didn't know you were back in town, and dressed as a chef.
105
00:08:17,319 --> 00:08:18,798
But I am a chef!
106
00:08:19,262 --> 00:08:20,506
I'm Chef Excellence.
107
00:08:20,506 --> 00:08:24,539
Oh yeah! You're the mascot for that uh, Kid's food line, weren't you?
108
00:08:24,539 --> 00:08:27,278
Yeah... Did you ever see any of my stuff?
109
00:08:27,872 --> 00:08:31,279
A bowl for you... Oh yes, and obviously one for you, honey.
110
00:08:31,279 --> 00:08:32,749
There you go, kiddies.
111
00:08:32,749 --> 00:08:35,801
What's wrong? Why you not eat food?
112
00:08:36,109 --> 00:08:38,378
Good kiddies, eat your food!
113
00:08:38,378 --> 00:08:40,399
If you do not, then Chef will be pretty sad.
114
00:08:40,399 --> 00:08:42,409
And when Chef gets sad.
115
00:08:45,269 --> 00:08:47,070
Chef get angry.
116
00:08:47,070 --> 00:08:48,877
Chef get angry!
117
00:08:48,877 --> 00:08:53,267
Angry! He gets so angry!!!
118
00:08:53,267 --> 00:08:58,983
Eat your food, kids! Eat it all up!!!
119
00:09:00,880 --> 00:09:02,999
Eat your food, please. For Chef.
120
00:09:05,914 --> 00:09:10,012
Very, very angry! Eat your food! Eat your food.
121
00:09:10,181 --> 00:09:12,070
Yeah, alright mate, calm down.
122
00:09:12,070 --> 00:09:14,804
I'm going to grab a bite to eat, so it was lovely to see you again... Yeah?
123
00:09:14,804 --> 00:09:17,422
I know a great place.
124
00:09:17,422 --> 00:09:20,449
Fine.
125
00:09:26,347 --> 00:09:27,566
When did you move back?
126
00:09:27,566 --> 00:09:29,790
A few months ago, I lost my job.
127
00:09:29,790 --> 00:09:33,049
If you lost your job, why are you dressed as a chef?
128
00:09:33,477 --> 00:09:38,014
I'll always be a chef. A true chef, is a chef regardless of his employment status.
129
00:09:38,610 --> 00:09:40,218
Fair enough.
130
00:09:40,218 --> 00:09:44,028
I loved that job. I had a company car in the shape of a baguette.
131
00:09:44,028 --> 00:09:46,604
The ladies loved it.
132
00:09:47,712 --> 00:09:49,590
Then they went and replaced me with...
133
00:09:52,476 --> 00:09:56,478
Ooh... Calm down, there. You were the Ronald McDonald of cheap italian food. I get it.
134
00:09:56,478 --> 00:09:58,229
Oh right, Stuart!
135
00:09:58,229 --> 00:10:00,098
I've seen the stuff you do on YouTube you know.
136
00:10:00,098 --> 00:10:01,952
Reviewing bits of tat on a brown sofa.
137
00:10:01,952 --> 00:10:03,988
It's not exactly The Matrix, is it?
138
00:10:03,988 --> 00:10:05,441
Maybe the Third one...
139
00:10:05,441 --> 00:10:06,880
See, Geoff?
140
00:10:06,880 --> 00:10:08,357
This is exactly why we don't-
141
00:10:10,222 --> 00:10:13,609
Look um, it's getting late, I've got loads of stuff to do. Nice to see you again.
142
00:10:13,710 --> 00:10:16,070
Are you going? I mean... w-w-w... Do you live around here?
143
00:10:16,070 --> 00:10:18,759
Umm... Yeah, yeah, just up near the park.
144
00:10:18,759 --> 00:10:20,038
Anyway, see you later.
145
00:10:40,509 --> 00:10:41,889
Geoff?
146
00:10:42,230 --> 00:10:44,128
Hey!
147
00:10:44,330 --> 00:10:45,753
How's it going?
148
00:10:45,753 --> 00:10:47,460
You don't have anywhere to sleep, do you?
149
00:10:47,460 --> 00:10:49,216
What?!
150
00:10:50,048 --> 00:10:51,179
Please can I stay with you?
151
00:10:51,438 --> 00:10:55,117
Uhh... I'm not really a "come and stay on my sofa" kind of guy.
152
00:10:55,233 --> 00:10:56,769
Oh, come on Stuart!
153
00:10:56,769 --> 00:10:58,337
Please, just for old times sake. Please!
154
00:10:58,337 --> 00:11:00,257
Ple-ple-ple-ple-ple-please! Please!!!
155
00:11:00,257 --> 00:11:01,924
Please let me stay with you!!!
156
00:11:01,924 --> 00:11:04,491
Okay! Okay, but it's just for one night, yeah?
157
00:11:04,668 --> 00:11:06,279
Just for one night. Just one night.
158
00:11:06,279 --> 00:11:07,287
Come on.
159
00:11:08,964 --> 00:11:10,992
I have one question.
160
00:11:10,992 --> 00:11:14,247
Why were you there, when you had that right next to you?
161
00:11:18,937 --> 00:11:19,906
Don't judge me!
162
00:11:27,384 --> 00:11:30,011
Come on! Come on, you're letting all the heat out.
163
00:11:30,192 --> 00:11:32,380
There's heat?!
164
00:11:32,505 --> 00:11:34,449
I'll give you the tour.
165
00:11:35,393 --> 00:11:37,170
This is the living room.
166
00:11:37,882 --> 00:11:40,496
Wow! You sure do have a lot of crap.
167
00:11:40,496 --> 00:11:42,499
Yes, I do!
168
00:11:42,499 --> 00:11:45,572
Don't touch anything though, I like things a particular way.
169
00:11:45,871 --> 00:11:46,977
You won't even notice I'm here.
170
00:11:46,977 --> 00:11:47,786
Good.
171
00:11:47,848 --> 00:11:49,599
Come on, I'll show you the rest of the house.
172
00:11:50,445 --> 00:11:54,398
Okay, sink's here. There's the cooker. That's the fridge, obviously.
173
00:11:54,875 --> 00:11:56,280
Dining room is through here.
174
00:11:56,618 --> 00:11:58,070
You've seen the living room of course.
175
00:11:58,652 --> 00:11:59,919
What's in here?
176
00:12:00,138 --> 00:12:02,039
That's just a room I use for storage, don't worry about that.
177
00:12:02,039 --> 00:12:03,467
Oh... It's locked.
178
00:12:03,467 --> 00:12:04,617
Can I have a look?
179
00:12:04,617 --> 00:12:06,279
Oh no, no I just remembered I've lost the key.
180
00:12:06,279 --> 00:12:07,409
Let's get you sorted-
181
00:12:07,409 --> 00:12:08,529
Why is it locked?
182
00:12:08,529 --> 00:12:09,484
Just leave it alone! You're going to damage something.
183
00:12:09,484 --> 00:12:10,959
There's no reason for you to go in there.
184
00:12:10,959 --> 00:12:12,809
C'mon Stu, why is this locked?!!
185
00:12:16,023 --> 00:12:17,267
Oh, wow!
186
00:12:19,285 --> 00:12:21,996
No! Don't go down there!
187
00:12:25,731 --> 00:12:27,171
Come on, Geoff!
188
00:12:41,465 --> 00:12:42,658
Hello?
189
00:12:42,658 --> 00:12:44,470
Yeah, hi. It's Stuart from next door.
190
00:12:44,470 --> 00:12:47,541
Could you keep it down a bit please? I've got somebody over.
191
00:12:47,541 --> 00:12:49,669
Oh, sorry, I must have got carried away.
192
00:12:49,669 --> 00:12:51,179
Yeah, thanks, bye.
193
00:12:52,222 --> 00:12:54,657
It's my neighbour. He's a bit of a weirdo.
194
00:12:54,657 --> 00:12:57,619
Some kind of improvisational jazz musician or something.
195
00:12:57,619 --> 00:12:59,474
You never see him without his costume on.
196
00:12:59,766 --> 00:13:01,150
Weirdo.
197
00:13:03,739 --> 00:13:05,901
Come on, Geoff. Nobody is allowed in here.
198
00:13:06,914 --> 00:13:08,953
What is all this stuff, is this all the tat you've reviewed?
199
00:13:08,953 --> 00:13:14,913
No. No. This is something... Different.
200
00:13:15,390 --> 00:13:16,690
What is it?
201
00:13:16,871 --> 00:13:18,520
There's something you don't know about me,
202
00:13:18,520 --> 00:13:20,782
something very few people know.
203
00:13:22,351 --> 00:13:23,818
I'm a collector.
204
00:13:23,818 --> 00:13:28,161
I collect very rare, but absolutely worthless collectibles.
205
00:13:28,400 --> 00:13:30,703
That's so cool!
206
00:13:41,102 --> 00:13:42,357
What's this?
207
00:13:42,357 --> 00:13:43,944
It's nothing!
208
00:13:43,944 --> 00:13:45,773
What is it?
209
00:13:45,992 --> 00:13:48,685
Look, it's a long and boring story, and I'm tired.
210
00:13:49,307 --> 00:13:50,695
Come on, Stu.
211
00:13:50,900 --> 00:13:52,174
What's the Game Child?
212
00:13:52,430 --> 00:13:57,279
It's the one thing I have always desired, and never gotten hold of.
213
00:13:57,279 --> 00:14:00,248
That's very cryptic, Stu, but not very helpful.
214
00:14:00,527 --> 00:14:05,521
The Game Child is a rip-off of the first popular handheld games console.
215
00:14:05,521 --> 00:14:09,148
It was the first of its type, and to my knowledge, the only one.
216
00:14:09,148 --> 00:14:13,719
It was released around 1989, but only put out in very small numbers.
217
00:14:13,719 --> 00:14:15,234
But aren't those rip-off games everywhere?
218
00:14:15,234 --> 00:14:17,014
Usually.
219
00:14:17,384 --> 00:14:19,192
Do you really want to know?
220
00:14:20,319 --> 00:14:22,460
Ok, I'll start from the beginning.
221
00:14:24,497 --> 00:14:29,270
It was a different, more simple time.
222
00:14:29,830 --> 00:14:33,550
You have to remember, these were the very early days of handheld consoles.
223
00:14:34,391 --> 00:14:37,354
We knew that the Game Child was being released, but nobody knew where.
224
00:14:37,948 --> 00:14:40,126
However, my sources gave me a lead.
225
00:14:42,967 --> 00:14:44,542
Oh hey! Mashens!
226
00:14:44,841 --> 00:14:45,906
Stashens!
227
00:14:45,906 --> 00:14:46,976
Gashens!
228
00:14:46,976 --> 00:14:48,193
Fashens!
229
00:14:48,578 --> 00:14:51,334
Yes, I get it, Nemesis! God, you're a right pain in the arse!
230
00:14:51,593 --> 00:14:53,965
A right pain in your mum's arse!
231
00:14:54,518 --> 00:14:55,460
Guess where I'm going?
232
00:14:55,460 --> 00:14:55,977
Don't care.
233
00:14:55,977 --> 00:14:56,481
Guess.
234
00:14:56,481 --> 00:14:56,810
Don't care.
235
00:14:56,810 --> 00:14:57,420
Guess!
236
00:14:57,420 --> 00:14:57,890
Still don't care.
237
00:14:57,890 --> 00:14:58,446
Guess!!!
238
00:14:58,446 --> 00:14:59,766
Your weekly rectal exam.
239
00:15:00,056 --> 00:15:02,121
No! That's Thursday!
240
00:15:02,596 --> 00:15:05,051
I'm going to go buy the only Game Child in Norwich!
241
00:15:06,191 --> 00:15:08,558
Oh, that's where you're going, isn't it Stuart?
242
00:15:09,094 --> 00:15:11,061
You thought you were the only one who knew.
243
00:15:11,562 --> 00:15:13,574
Yeah well you're not getting this one first, you little git!
244
00:15:27,225 --> 00:15:28,179
Hey, Nemesis!
245
00:15:28,179 --> 00:15:29,893
It's 'Nee Mah Si' you idiot!
246
00:15:31,065 --> 00:15:32,634
Hey! Stuart, Stuart, Stuart!
247
00:15:32,634 --> 00:15:34,028
Where are you going?
248
00:15:34,028 --> 00:15:35,668
Sorry Geoff, I'm in the middle of something.
249
00:15:35,668 --> 00:15:38,087
Wait, do you want to try some of this, it's my own recipe?
250
00:15:38,340 --> 00:15:40,227
It's a Pakistani and Italian blend.
251
00:15:40,227 --> 00:15:41,514
Oh, no time! No time!
252
00:15:41,514 --> 00:15:42,423
Can I come with you?
253
00:15:42,423 --> 00:15:43,907
Not this time.
254
00:15:43,907 --> 00:15:44,928
Stuart!
255
00:16:08,556 --> 00:16:11,763
That's it. That little prat got the Game Child, and I didn't.
256
00:16:12,218 --> 00:16:15,685
Wow... And in all that time, you've not be able to come across another Game Child?
257
00:16:17,109 --> 00:16:18,170
No, I haven't.
258
00:16:18,325 --> 00:16:20,913
But I thought you were some sort of super collector of collectibles...
259
00:16:20,913 --> 00:16:23,485
Well it doesn't mean I can magic one out of thin air, does it?!
260
00:16:23,670 --> 00:16:25,687
Oh, I'm sorry. Okay.
261
00:16:26,023 --> 00:16:27,998
Look, there is more to the story than that.
262
00:16:29,891 --> 00:16:32,020
There was a total recall on the product.
263
00:16:32,144 --> 00:16:34,764
Turned out it was frying kids eyes, and burning their fingers.
264
00:16:35,131 --> 00:16:36,127
Oh, God!
265
00:16:36,719 --> 00:16:39,290
Only two hundred were sold, and do you want to know the weird thing?
266
00:16:39,788 --> 00:16:42,526
The company refunded more money than they were actually sold for.
267
00:16:43,009 --> 00:16:44,536
Even Nemesis handed his in.
268
00:16:45,074 --> 00:16:51,398
And it was the Terrifically Good Company... Your Terrifically Good Company, who issued the refunds.
269
00:16:51,398 --> 00:16:53,161
There's nothing 'terrific' or 'good' about them, Stuart.
270
00:16:54,880 --> 00:16:59,854
I've heard rumours that there's one still out there, but I've never been able to track it down.
271
00:16:59,963 --> 00:17:01,872
So there's a Game Child out there?
272
00:17:02,310 --> 00:17:04,424
Maybe. I don't know.
273
00:17:04,424 --> 00:17:06,549
Come on, you've got to be a bit curious, right?!
274
00:17:06,549 --> 00:17:09,349
I mean, look at all this stuff!
275
00:17:09,349 --> 00:17:12,068
You've got to be the best collector of collectibles.
276
00:17:12,068 --> 00:17:13,827
I'm sure you can find it.
277
00:17:13,827 --> 00:17:16,069
We could find it. It could be our quest!
278
00:17:16,069 --> 00:17:17,310
Our what?
279
00:17:17,310 --> 00:17:19,017
A quest, you know, a long arduous search for something,
280
00:17:19,017 --> 00:17:22,183
a kind of journey, to an ultimate goal.
281
00:17:22,183 --> 00:17:24,835
I know what a quest is, Doctor Thesaurus!
282
00:17:24,835 --> 00:17:26,644
But I'm not interested in going on one.
283
00:17:26,644 --> 00:17:27,747
Come on, it could be fun!
284
00:17:27,747 --> 00:17:28,811
Come on!
285
00:17:28,811 --> 00:17:29,682
No.
286
00:17:30,035 --> 00:17:31,399
I'm tired now.
287
00:17:31,414 --> 00:17:33,330
You can sleep in the back room.
288
00:17:34,113 --> 00:17:35,533
Stuart.
289
00:17:46,819 --> 00:17:48,033
Woah!
290
00:17:48,111 --> 00:17:49,133
Bloody Hell!
291
00:18:03,778 --> 00:18:06,010
Now then, Stuart. I'm gonna tell you something.
292
00:18:06,757 --> 00:18:08,383
Y'see this door, here?
293
00:18:08,383 --> 00:18:12,059
You're gonna have a ball of a time.
294
00:18:13,549 --> 00:18:15,246
Bloody sofa is talking to me again!
295
00:18:20,057 --> 00:18:20,641
What the?
296
00:18:24,758 --> 00:18:26,227
Argh! I'm no good at dodging these!
297
00:18:26,227 --> 00:18:28,463
Only the cool kids were allowed to be in goal!
298
00:18:31,559 --> 00:18:34,452
Oh, come on! This is unlikely at best!
299
00:18:48,129 --> 00:18:50,052
Oh great! Electricity.
300
00:18:59,604 --> 00:19:02,042
Woah...
301
00:19:06,592 --> 00:19:08,971
Sorry, what was that? I can't quite hear you.
302
00:19:14,254 --> 00:19:16,797
Do what? Could you speak up a bit?
303
00:19:16,797 --> 00:19:20,234
I said find the Game Child! You deaf git!
304
00:19:20,234 --> 00:19:22,774
Oh, right! Find the Game Child.
305
00:19:23,305 --> 00:19:26,454
Find the Game Child! It is your destiny.
306
00:19:26,454 --> 00:19:28,235
But where do I find it?!
307
00:19:28,235 --> 00:19:31,144
You know what you have to do.
308
00:19:31,144 --> 00:19:32,769
A little help would be good.
309
00:19:32,769 --> 00:19:35,586
Figure it out yourself, you lazy bastard!
310
00:19:37,088 --> 00:19:38,435
Oh, ow!
311
00:19:38,435 --> 00:19:40,114
That's starting to hurt now!
312
00:19:40,114 --> 00:19:42,068
Oh right, That's getting very painful now!!!
313
00:19:42,068 --> 00:19:44,393
Argh!!!
314
00:19:49,236 --> 00:19:50,873
Well that was bloody obvious, wasn't it?!
315
00:19:51,411 --> 00:19:53,608
There's nothing worse than a preachy claymation!
316
00:19:58,771 --> 00:19:59,703
Morning, Stu.
317
00:20:00,964 --> 00:20:02,311
Whatcha doing?
318
00:20:02,619 --> 00:20:04,165
I'm going on a trip.
319
00:20:04,348 --> 00:20:05,034
Where?
320
00:20:05,249 --> 00:20:06,694
To find the Game Child.
321
00:20:06,756 --> 00:20:07,431
A quest!
322
00:20:07,431 --> 00:20:08,854
It's not a quest!
323
00:20:08,854 --> 00:20:10,208
Okay, fine! Where do we begin?
324
00:20:10,712 --> 00:20:12,425
Not 'we', 'me'.
325
00:20:12,425 --> 00:20:14,037
But it was my idea!
326
00:20:14,037 --> 00:20:15,424
Yeah, well I work alone!
327
00:20:15,424 --> 00:20:16,676
Ooh I work alone!
328
00:20:16,676 --> 00:20:17,747
That's stupid!
329
00:20:17,747 --> 00:20:19,275
No it's not. You're stupid.
330
00:20:19,275 --> 00:20:20,472
You see?
331
00:20:20,472 --> 00:20:22,795
You say I haven't changed! You haven't changed either.
332
00:20:22,795 --> 00:20:25,154
Ooh, Mr. Secretive! "Oh don't touch my things!"
333
00:20:25,154 --> 00:20:26,851
"Everything's so precious!"
334
00:20:26,851 --> 00:20:29,373
Would it really kill you to let me join you?
335
00:20:30,296 --> 00:20:33,146
Okay, you can come, but don't slow me down, yeah?
336
00:20:33,738 --> 00:20:35,583
Oh great! Oh, this is going to be so good!
337
00:20:35,583 --> 00:20:37,135
This is going to be amazing!
338
00:20:38,883 --> 00:20:40,384
What are you wearing?!
339
00:20:41,742 --> 00:20:43,785
Well... Well you know... Uh...
340
00:20:43,785 --> 00:20:45,054
There's a time and place...
341
00:20:45,054 --> 00:20:48,519
You know I l- It's one of- You know what it's like- You never been-
342
00:20:51,014 --> 00:20:52,501
It keeps me warm!!!
343
00:20:55,008 --> 00:20:57,663
Go and get ready! And change out of that!
344
00:21:05,001 --> 00:21:06,522
Hi, Ashens!
345
00:21:07,164 --> 00:21:08,521
Hey, fella, I'm Richard.
346
00:21:08,521 --> 00:21:11,193
It's nice to meet you! I'm Chef Excellence!
347
00:21:11,193 --> 00:21:12,510
Fair enough...
348
00:21:12,510 --> 00:21:14,303
Well, it looks like we're going on another mission.
349
00:21:14,303 --> 00:21:15,216
Well, I am.
350
00:21:15,216 --> 00:21:16,601
Great! What are we tracking down?!
351
00:21:17,107 --> 00:21:19,244
Sorry, Richard. I'm doing this one alone.
352
00:21:20,033 --> 00:21:21,989
Well, Geoff here is going to tag along.
353
00:21:21,989 --> 00:21:23,652
W-w-why can't I go?!
354
00:21:23,652 --> 00:21:26,081
Because you've let me down too many times!
355
00:21:26,081 --> 00:21:28,918
I'm sorry, Stuart, I'll make it up to you!
356
00:21:28,918 --> 00:21:30,762
Maybe next time, eh?
357
00:21:31,931 --> 00:21:33,073
Sorry, buddy.
358
00:21:54,213 --> 00:21:55,337
So, where are we heading, Stuart?
359
00:21:55,587 --> 00:21:59,528
To see my old professor from uni, and he is not going to be happy to see me.
360
00:21:59,528 --> 00:22:01,247
Why?
361
00:22:01,247 --> 00:22:03,158
It's complicated.
362
00:22:03,158 --> 00:22:05,133
That's not very helpful, Stuart, what happened?
363
00:22:06,394 --> 00:22:08,617
I left his research team in the middle of a big project.
364
00:22:08,617 --> 00:22:09,927
Why?
365
00:22:09,927 --> 00:22:11,957
It was to do with my girlfriend at the time.
366
00:22:38,172 --> 00:22:38,977
Alright?
367
00:22:39,337 --> 00:22:41,381
Hey, Stu, let me handle this.
368
00:22:41,381 --> 00:22:44,063
A true Chef is a master of all communication.
369
00:22:46,643 --> 00:22:48,105
You alright there, my good man?
370
00:22:53,342 --> 00:22:54,762
Let me handle this.
371
00:23:23,855 --> 00:23:25,414
I didn't know you could speak Klingon.
372
00:23:25,722 --> 00:23:27,323
Go and find us somewhere to sit, yeah?
373
00:23:33,683 --> 00:23:34,718
'Scuse me.
374
00:23:36,306 --> 00:23:37,897
Pint of whatever's cheapest, please.
375
00:23:39,559 --> 00:23:40,331
Hi.
376
00:23:40,331 --> 00:23:41,192
Hello.
377
00:23:41,531 --> 00:23:43,355
So, uhh... Nice spoon you've got there.
378
00:23:43,355 --> 00:23:46,256
I'm trying to bend it, with my mind!
379
00:23:46,656 --> 00:23:47,169
You try.
380
00:23:47,300 --> 00:23:48,959
Oh, no, I'm alright, mate.
381
00:23:50,481 --> 00:23:51,749
Do not try to bend the spoon.
382
00:23:51,964 --> 00:23:53,081
But you said to bend the spoon.
383
00:23:53,081 --> 00:23:57,911
To bend the spoon is impossible. Only try to realise the truth.
384
00:23:57,911 --> 00:24:00,036
That there is no spoon.
385
00:24:00,036 --> 00:24:02,196
There is a spoon, you just gave it to me. I've got it right here.
386
00:24:02,196 --> 00:24:04,435
The spoon only exists in your mind!
387
00:24:04,435 --> 00:24:05,847
No, it exists in my hand! Look!
388
00:24:06,388 --> 00:24:07,378
Physically real spoon.
389
00:24:07,378 --> 00:24:08,832
It does not exist!
390
00:24:09,106 --> 00:24:09,596
Right!
391
00:24:09,827 --> 00:24:11,032
Peanuts on the spoon!
392
00:24:11,148 --> 00:24:11,854
Peanuts are real.
393
00:24:12,894 --> 00:24:13,984
But the spoon? No, sir.
394
00:24:13,984 --> 00:24:16,139
Yes! So what, are they floating in the air?
395
00:24:16,183 --> 00:24:16,843
No...
396
00:24:16,853 --> 00:24:18,184
Are they floaty-peanuts?
397
00:24:18,184 --> 00:24:19,160
It's a bloody spoon! It's in my hand
398
00:24:19,160 --> 00:24:20,051
It's not real!
399
00:24:20,051 --> 00:24:21,280
This is clearly a spoon, look!
400
00:24:21,280 --> 00:24:22,159
It's not real!
401
00:24:22,159 --> 00:24:23,281
Spoon! Spoon! Spoon!
402
00:24:23,281 --> 00:24:25,252
Lalalalalalala!
403
00:24:25,252 --> 00:24:25,871
There!
404
00:24:27,021 --> 00:24:27,951
See?!
405
00:24:28,695 --> 00:24:31,965
Cheers.
406
00:24:32,999 --> 00:24:34,824
I wish people would stop doing that to me.
407
00:24:35,808 --> 00:24:37,097
So, what was that about over there?
408
00:24:37,097 --> 00:24:41,106
Don't know, just some guy who's really confused about the existence of cutlery.
409
00:24:41,106 --> 00:24:43,375
Ah...
410
00:24:43,375 --> 00:24:45,403
So, how can this professor help us on our quest?
411
00:24:53,733 --> 00:24:55,582
He's the most brilliant man I've ever known.
412
00:24:57,471 --> 00:24:59,611
And he's as obsessed with the Game Child as I am.
413
00:24:59,874 --> 00:25:00,493
Oh.
414
00:25:06,545 --> 00:25:07,206
Ready?
415
00:25:07,929 --> 00:25:11,339
Stay here, yeah?
416
00:25:09,833 --> 00:25:11,129
Oh w-w-wait.
417
00:25:11,632 --> 00:25:12,788
Let me come with you, Stu.
418
00:25:12,957 --> 00:25:14,239
Come on, don't leave me out here.
419
00:25:14,503 --> 00:25:15,663
Not with...
420
00:25:16,479 --> 00:25:17,263
Spoon Boy...
421
00:25:18,163 --> 00:25:19,575
I mean, look at him!
422
00:25:21,310 --> 00:25:22,821
No, it's better that I go alone.
423
00:25:23,877 --> 00:25:24,643
Grab yourself a pint of something.
424
00:25:41,915 --> 00:25:43,542
Stuart Ashen.
425
00:25:44,839 --> 00:25:45,570
Professor.
426
00:25:45,822 --> 00:25:46,973
It's been a while.
427
00:25:47,515 --> 00:25:49,573
You've got a nerve, showing up here.
428
00:25:49,669 --> 00:25:51,883
Well I'm here, so surely we can forget about all that.
429
00:25:52,198 --> 00:25:55,112
You ruined me, Ashens!
430
00:25:55,112 --> 00:25:58,055
I ruined you?! You're the one who had sex with my girlfriend!
431
00:25:58,055 --> 00:26:01,885
You're still upset about that?! That was years ago!
432
00:26:01,885 --> 00:26:03,746
You hold a grudge, don't you?!
433
00:26:03,746 --> 00:26:06,587
She was just using me, if that's any consolation!
434
00:26:06,587 --> 00:26:08,376
No, it isn't!
435
00:26:08,376 --> 00:26:11,595
You were my lecturer, and you slept with the only girl I ever cared about!
436
00:26:11,595 --> 00:26:14,162
Okay, okay, point taken!
437
00:26:14,162 --> 00:26:16,752
You didn't have to tell the vice-chancellor!
438
00:26:16,752 --> 00:26:18,651
Not this again! I didn't tell anybody!
439
00:26:19,211 --> 00:26:22,596
Everything fell apart after you left.
440
00:26:22,596 --> 00:26:25,369
A year later I was thrown out of the university.
441
00:26:26,859 --> 00:26:28,870
So what do you want, Stuart?!
442
00:26:39,699 --> 00:26:40,109
Yes!
443
00:26:40,618 --> 00:26:41,404
Another!
444
00:26:54,442 --> 00:26:57,671
You're not still looking for the Game Child, after all these years?!
445
00:26:57,891 --> 00:26:59,121
Do you know where it is?
446
00:26:59,315 --> 00:27:00,383
I might.
447
00:27:00,925 --> 00:27:04,652
But, you'd have to prove yourself worthy of this quest!
448
00:27:04,915 --> 00:27:08,032
It's not a quest, I'm just looking for an old video game system!
449
00:27:08,263 --> 00:27:13,864
That was always one of your failings. You could never see the big picture.
450
00:27:14,627 --> 00:27:15,751
What do I have to do?
451
00:27:16,688 --> 00:27:18,390
You must pass the test.
452
00:27:19,160 --> 00:27:20,360
What is this test?
453
00:27:20,611 --> 00:27:26,165
You must beat me at the most intensive game of skill and wits ever devised by the human mind.
454
00:27:29,169 --> 00:27:30,210
Space Attack!
455
00:27:30,887 --> 00:27:31,801
Is that all?
456
00:27:32,027 --> 00:27:34,829
I'll have you know I am a very formidable opponent!
457
00:27:34,829 --> 00:27:35,826
Yeah.
458
00:27:35,826 --> 00:27:40,862
And I was Norfolk Space Attack Champion 1985, 1986, 87, and 89.
459
00:27:41,503 --> 00:27:44,116
88 was cancelled, due to illness.
460
00:27:45,268 --> 00:27:46,769
You can do it! You can do it!
461
00:27:46,769 --> 00:27:48,104
The spoon doesn't exist!
462
00:27:48,104 --> 00:27:50,394
It doesn't exist! It's not real!
463
00:27:50,394 --> 00:27:52,488
You can bend it with your mind!
464
00:27:52,488 --> 00:27:53,436
Do it!
465
00:27:59,416 --> 00:28:01,269
Push yourself! Bend the spoon!
466
00:28:01,273 --> 00:28:02,495
Come on! Come on!
467
00:28:08,165 --> 00:28:08,822
Yes!
468
00:28:08,822 --> 00:28:09,634
One-Nil to me!
469
00:28:10,106 --> 00:28:10,766
Boom!
470
00:28:10,766 --> 00:28:11,477
Hah!
471
00:28:11,477 --> 00:28:12,351
Oh, sod this!
472
00:28:13,090 --> 00:28:14,068
Where's the Game Child?!
473
00:28:14,290 --> 00:28:14,894
Ow! Stop it!
474
00:28:15,073 --> 00:28:15,803
Tell me.
475
00:28:15,873 --> 00:28:16,233
Ow!
476
00:28:16,861 --> 00:28:18,231
Yes! Yes!
477
00:28:19,245 --> 00:28:20,265
Oh my God!
478
00:28:20,522 --> 00:28:21,023
What's that?
479
00:28:21,290 --> 00:28:22,787
What am I looking at, where?!
480
00:28:24,828 --> 00:28:25,393
Yes!!!
481
00:28:25,943 --> 00:28:27,615
The spoon doesn't exist!
482
00:28:27,877 --> 00:28:28,781
It doesn't exist!
483
00:28:29,084 --> 00:28:30,202
I told you all!
484
00:28:30,941 --> 00:28:31,684
I know.
485
00:28:32,664 --> 00:28:33,260
I know!
486
00:28:33,869 --> 00:28:34,519
Dicks!
487
00:28:35,021 --> 00:28:38,541
Tell me!
488
00:28:35,637 --> 00:28:36,274
Tell me!
489
00:28:36,664 --> 00:28:37,945
Alright, alright! I'll tell you!
490
00:28:38,713 --> 00:28:40,582
You and your bloody quest!
491
00:28:40,788 --> 00:28:42,194
It's not a quest!
492
00:28:42,194 --> 00:28:46,352
Look, I don't know where the Game Child is.
493
00:28:47,252 --> 00:28:47,824
But!
494
00:28:48,914 --> 00:28:51,844
I can help you, on your journey.
495
00:28:50,974 --> 00:28:54,701
First, you must find the Oracle.
496
00:28:54,877 --> 00:28:57,055
That's the best you can do?!
497
00:28:57,627 --> 00:28:59,301
Oh, and there's this.
498
00:29:03,566 --> 00:29:07,347
Abadgh...
499
00:29:08,178 --> 00:29:09,629
Is that a place in Wales?
500
00:29:09,820 --> 00:29:11,240
I've never followed it up.
501
00:29:11,982 --> 00:29:13,967
Why couldn't you have just told me this in the first place.
502
00:29:14,538 --> 00:29:16,755
Uhh... Just a bit lonely back here.
503
00:29:19,048 --> 00:29:21,486
Do you uhh... Do you ever see her?
504
00:29:21,654 --> 00:29:22,457
Who?
505
00:29:22,735 --> 00:29:24,058
Your ex. Ashley.
506
00:29:24,197 --> 00:29:25,990
No, I haven't seen her since she dumped me.
507
00:29:26,327 --> 00:29:27,136
Why?
508
00:29:27,338 --> 00:29:29,134
As I said, very lonely.
509
00:29:31,058 --> 00:29:35,428
You know, I've never really apologised to you for what I did.
510
00:29:35,428 --> 00:29:36,725
No, you didn't.
511
00:29:37,625 --> 00:29:38,732
No, I didn't.
512
00:29:40,652 --> 00:29:42,041
And you still haven't.
513
00:29:42,305 --> 00:29:43,441
Oh right...
514
00:29:45,526 --> 00:29:46,456
Look, Stuart...
515
00:29:46,456 --> 00:29:51,242
I really am sorry, I hope you can forgive me.
516
00:29:53,765 --> 00:29:55,315
It's been good to see you again, professor.
517
00:29:55,682 --> 00:29:56,442
Good luck.
518
00:29:56,501 --> 00:29:57,306
Thanks.
519
00:30:15,102 --> 00:30:15,868
Stuart?
520
00:30:15,868 --> 00:30:16,712
Stuart!
521
00:30:16,712 --> 00:30:18,243
Stuart! Hey!
522
00:30:20,717 --> 00:30:21,537
I bent a spoon!
523
00:30:21,922 --> 00:30:23,752
With my frickin' mind, man!
524
00:30:24,689 --> 00:30:25,386
Good for you-
525
00:30:25,386 --> 00:30:25,989
With my mind!
526
00:30:25,989 --> 00:30:27,148
Good for you.
527
00:30:27,148 --> 00:30:29,759
Now, let's go. Put your hand around here...
528
00:30:30,156 --> 00:30:31,579
You should have took me with you.
529
00:30:31,579 --> 00:30:32,787
Get off the chair, come on.
530
00:30:32,787 --> 00:30:34,390
I could have helped!
531
00:30:35,063 --> 00:30:36,466
You're almost as bad as Richard!
532
00:30:36,938 --> 00:30:37,443
Who?!
533
00:30:38,174 --> 00:30:39,308
Who's Richard?!
534
00:30:53,951 --> 00:30:54,631
Hi there.
535
00:30:55,038 --> 00:30:56,864
My name, of course, is Chef Brilliance!
536
00:30:56,864 --> 00:31:00,528
And everything I make is, well, brilliant.
537
00:31:00,528 --> 00:31:03,094
I'm here to tell you about my brand new food for kiddies.
538
00:31:03,395 --> 00:31:05,373
Made by me, Chef Brilliance.
539
00:31:05,373 --> 00:31:09,806
Now just take a look at what you've been putting into your kids mouths.
540
00:31:09,806 --> 00:31:12,059
Eurgh.
541
00:31:12,059 --> 00:31:15,838
Now, did you know, that the more colourful your food is, the better it is?
542
00:31:16,669 --> 00:31:20,075
And all I have to do, is sprinkle a little bit of brilliance on it.
543
00:31:21,705 --> 00:31:23,777
That's why my brand new range only comes in colour.
544
00:31:23,777 --> 00:31:28,341
And that's what we, at the Terrifically Good Company, call Terrifically Good Food.
545
00:31:28,594 --> 00:31:32,354
Chef Brilliance's almost lasagne-like food products.
546
00:31:33,147 --> 00:31:34,283
Only in colour.
547
00:31:38,796 --> 00:31:40,247
What's the matter?
548
00:31:40,495 --> 00:31:41,501
I don't want to talk about it.
549
00:31:45,038 --> 00:31:46,503
That's fine, I respect your privacy.
550
00:31:46,503 --> 00:31:47,832
Get off my back, man!
551
00:31:47,832 --> 00:31:49,444
Shut up, and listen.
552
00:31:51,054 --> 00:31:52,264
I miss my job.
553
00:31:52,468 --> 00:31:53,710
What happened?
554
00:31:53,710 --> 00:31:56,302
I thought they were encouraging kids to eat more healthily,
555
00:31:56,302 --> 00:32:00,511
but then one night I was working late, and I wandered into the lab.
556
00:32:03,641 --> 00:32:06,176
One of the things I loved most about my job was that I was helping kids,
557
00:32:06,184 --> 00:32:08,745
and I thought all the foods being made were all natural, and organic,
558
00:32:08,826 --> 00:32:09,746
but I learned otherwise.
559
00:32:13,379 --> 00:32:14,367
What I saw in the lab...
560
00:32:16,212 --> 00:32:17,068
What I saw...
561
00:32:18,319 --> 00:32:19,372
It was unspeakable!
562
00:32:57,247 --> 00:32:59,285
I confronted them the next day, and they fired me on the spot.
563
00:32:59,700 --> 00:33:01,893
That's when they replaced me with...
564
00:33:01,893 --> 00:33:05,167
That's when they replaced me with Chef Brilliance!
565
00:33:05,581 --> 00:33:08,032
He's taken everything from me.
566
00:33:08,032 --> 00:33:09,170
Everything!
567
00:33:10,449 --> 00:33:15,136
I'd do anything to get my job back!
568
00:33:18,071 --> 00:33:22,102
There, there. Everything is going to be fine.
569
00:33:23,988 --> 00:33:26,562
Thanks, Stuart. You know, you're a really good friend.
570
00:33:30,770 --> 00:33:31,499
So, anyway...
571
00:33:32,010 --> 00:33:32,649
Yeah.
572
00:33:33,157 --> 00:33:34,257
Who's the Oracle?
573
00:33:34,735 --> 00:33:36,130
I don't know. That's what I'm trying to work out.
574
00:33:39,932 --> 00:33:42,400
"The answer is more obvious than you think"...
575
00:33:43,593 --> 00:33:44,119
What does that mean?
576
00:33:52,141 --> 00:33:52,638
What is it?
577
00:33:53,432 --> 00:33:54,438
Come on. Let's go.
578
00:33:59,323 --> 00:34:01,729
Oh, it's Ashens again.
579
00:34:01,729 --> 00:34:02,475
Hello, Stuart?
580
00:34:03,007 --> 00:34:04,146
Hello? Hello?!
581
00:34:04,942 --> 00:34:06,463
Ashens, you're arse-dialling me!
582
00:34:07,082 --> 00:34:08,364
Oh, that is so annoying!
583
00:34:09,492 --> 00:34:12,481
Now, where was I, he's totally interrupted my creative flow.
584
00:34:15,314 --> 00:34:19,513
Don't look behind us, I think we're being followed.
585
00:34:19,513 --> 00:34:19,763
Why are you wearing orange?!
586
00:34:21,193 --> 00:34:22,442
It's the only one they had at the store.
587
00:34:22,442 --> 00:34:23,878
I told you do wear black!
588
00:34:24,384 --> 00:34:25,052
Who would be following us?
589
00:34:25,474 --> 00:34:26,942
A right pain in my arse.
590
00:34:28,123 --> 00:34:29,887
On the count of three, we make a run for it.
591
00:34:29,887 --> 00:34:31,259
Wait, one, two and three?
592
00:34:31,686 --> 00:34:32,835
Or, one, two... and-
593
00:34:33,365 --> 00:34:34,110
Just run!
594
00:34:34,491 --> 00:34:35,823
I can't run, I've got asthma!
595
00:34:44,044 --> 00:34:44,646
Who was that?!
596
00:34:45,195 --> 00:34:46,439
I'll tell you later. Let's go.
597
00:34:57,047 --> 00:34:58,730
Stuart? Stuart.
598
00:34:59,187 --> 00:34:59,986
Where are we?
599
00:35:00,366 --> 00:35:01,717
It'd be nice to be included once in a while.
600
00:35:05,071 --> 00:35:05,900
Read this.
601
00:35:07,112 --> 00:35:09,908
"The Oracle Computer"... What is it?
602
00:35:10,364 --> 00:35:13,432
It's something that just happens to be in this very building.
603
00:35:13,897 --> 00:35:14,723
What is this place?
604
00:35:16,282 --> 00:35:17,068
It's a library.
605
00:35:17,419 --> 00:35:19,644
A library?! Wow!
606
00:35:26,339 --> 00:35:30,339
Stuart.
607
00:35:27,496 --> 00:35:28,330
Hi, Marian.
608
00:35:30,339 --> 00:35:31,002
It's been a while.
609
00:35:31,905 --> 00:35:34,461
Yeah... Yeah, sorry about that... I've been busy.
610
00:35:34,931 --> 00:35:35,991
Hmm... Let me guess.
611
00:35:35,991 --> 00:35:40,216
You've been busy with your "secret missions", that "must be undertaken alone."?
612
00:35:40,696 --> 00:35:43,660
Or is it "I'm an island!"? Or... I've got one for you...
613
00:35:44,224 --> 00:35:47,639
"I'm too stupid to know when I've got a really good thing going on!"?
614
00:35:48,111 --> 00:35:49,918
Uh, yeah... Something like that.
615
00:35:50,560 --> 00:35:51,841
This is Geoff.
616
00:35:51,841 --> 00:35:52,578
Have you met Geoff?
617
00:35:52,835 --> 00:35:53,591
Hello!
618
00:35:53,865 --> 00:35:54,584
Hello Geoff.
619
00:36:01,734 --> 00:36:04,255
This is really awkward!
620
00:36:04,873 --> 00:36:06,895
Marian, I said I'm sorry.
621
00:36:07,756 --> 00:36:09,992
Is there any chance we can get back into the archives?
622
00:36:10,483 --> 00:36:11,895
Not a chance!
623
00:36:12,330 --> 00:36:13,609
You know you're not allowed back there.
624
00:36:14,090 --> 00:36:14,782
Please?
625
00:36:15,352 --> 00:36:17,071
Plus, they've just installed a new security system.
626
00:36:17,768 --> 00:36:19,256
It'd be the last time. I promise.
627
00:36:21,286 --> 00:36:22,688
Why do you keep coming back here, Stuart?
628
00:36:24,587 --> 00:36:26,299
Yeah! Why do you keep on coming back here?!
629
00:36:27,876 --> 00:36:29,003
I don't understand you.
630
00:36:30,254 --> 00:36:33,283
Fine, but don't let anyone see you.
631
00:36:33,821 --> 00:36:35,322
Thanks Marian, I owe you one.
632
00:36:35,723 --> 00:36:36,728
You owe me more than one!
633
00:36:39,789 --> 00:36:41,122
Stuart, what was all that about?
634
00:36:42,453 --> 00:36:43,291
It's a long story.
635
00:36:45,276 --> 00:36:46,820
What's with all the big secrets?!
636
00:36:47,996 --> 00:36:52,527
Look, we went out on a couple of dates, but you know, my life's very complicated so umm...
637
00:36:52,965 --> 00:36:55,622
Stuart, life is only as complicated as you make it.
638
00:36:55,622 --> 00:36:57,897
Yes... Thanks Socrates!
639
00:36:58,095 --> 00:36:58,843
Come on.
640
00:37:03,689 --> 00:37:06,483
You know, Stuart, I really like it back here.
641
00:37:07,090 --> 00:37:10,108
Yeah, I like to think of it as the bowels of the library.
642
00:37:10,741 --> 00:37:11,760
This would be the lower intestine.
643
00:37:12,307 --> 00:37:14,808
Ah, well if this is the lower intestine, what does that make us?
644
00:37:17,907 --> 00:37:19,628
Euuuurgh!
645
00:37:19,628 --> 00:37:20,267
Let's go.
646
00:37:24,087 --> 00:37:26,377
I have no memory of this place!!!
647
00:37:26,601 --> 00:37:27,564
Oh, we're not lost are we?!
648
00:37:28,406 --> 00:37:29,938
Oh, no, it's just down here.
649
00:37:30,352 --> 00:37:31,491
Sorry, I don't know what I was thinking then.
650
00:37:43,942 --> 00:37:45,647
I don't know where we are.
651
00:37:47,903 --> 00:37:48,999
Maybe we should follow this sign.
652
00:37:58,315 --> 00:38:00,151
It's got to be through here somewhere.
653
00:38:04,530 --> 00:38:05,242
Hey, Geoff...
654
00:38:05,262 --> 00:38:06,043
Help us with this.
655
00:38:09,323 --> 00:38:10,010
Careful...
656
00:38:13,572 --> 00:38:14,441
Oh, a door!
657
00:38:15,128 --> 00:38:16,411
Yeah, a locked door...
658
00:38:16,501 --> 00:38:18,063
Hang on, I can take care of this...
659
00:38:21,393 --> 00:38:23,511
No, I can't, it's magnetically sealed.
660
00:38:25,076 --> 00:38:26,693
There's got to be a trigger around here somewhere.
661
00:38:27,174 --> 00:38:28,176
Well, what does the trigger look like?
662
00:38:28,447 --> 00:38:29,726
I'll know it when I see it.
663
00:38:35,871 --> 00:38:37,286
Well, this shouldn't be here.
664
00:38:43,463 --> 00:38:46,670
I reckon these are musical notes.
665
00:38:47,102 --> 00:38:48,324
Thank you, Professor.
666
00:38:50,455 --> 00:38:51,008
Something happened!
667
00:38:51,277 --> 00:38:52,047
That's good, Stuart...
668
00:38:53,074 --> 00:38:54,391
I don't think we have much time though.
669
00:38:56,578 --> 00:38:57,438
Argh!
670
00:38:58,504 --> 00:38:59,557
Umm...
671
00:38:59,968 --> 00:39:02,178
Oh God, right... Uhh...
672
00:39:03,205 --> 00:39:03,609
That's it!
673
00:39:07,389 --> 00:39:09,923
Oh, I wish I paid more attention in piano lessons.
674
00:39:10,665 --> 00:39:11,155
Uhh...
675
00:39:14,703 --> 00:39:15,626
There's no such note as "H"!
676
00:39:15,626 --> 00:39:16,556
What says "H"?!
677
00:39:31,031 --> 00:39:31,794
Oh... Thank God.
678
00:39:32,001 --> 00:39:34,455
See, that is why our Council Tax is so high!
679
00:39:34,842 --> 00:39:35,731
I thought we were going to die.
680
00:39:37,045 --> 00:39:40,266
Right! Well, Geoff. Meet the Oracle.
681
00:39:40,650 --> 00:39:42,315
Oh wow!
682
00:39:43,725 --> 00:39:45,747
It looks like total crap!
683
00:39:45,890 --> 00:39:49,828
Early '80s Z80 compatible, with proprietary serial buffer.
684
00:39:50,369 --> 00:39:52,580
Used as a localised teletext server.
685
00:39:53,315 --> 00:39:56,538
Stuart, some of the stuff you know is so inspiring!
686
00:39:57,310 --> 00:39:59,459
Or really... Really depressing!
687
00:40:01,086 --> 00:40:02,794
So, this shouldn't be too hard to access, then.
688
00:40:03,693 --> 00:40:06,164
Oi! Shift over!
689
00:40:06,611 --> 00:40:08,893
I'll find the back door. I always find the back door.
690
00:40:08,893 --> 00:40:10,398
Yeah, I've heard the rumours! Look, just shift!
691
00:40:10,772 --> 00:40:12,659
No! You shift!
692
00:40:19,367 --> 00:40:20,619
What is going on?!
693
00:40:21,375 --> 00:40:23,824
Half the bloody floor is missing out there!
694
00:40:23,999 --> 00:40:25,666
Oh, yeah! Sorry about that.
695
00:40:26,107 --> 00:40:27,813
I want you out! Now!
696
00:40:28,285 --> 00:40:30,059
Come on, Marian, we only just got in!
697
00:40:30,059 --> 00:40:32,462
The floor's already collapsed, so it's not going to get any worse.
698
00:40:33,892 --> 00:40:34,750
Okay, you can stay.
699
00:40:34,750 --> 00:40:36,631
On one condition.
700
00:40:37,026 --> 00:40:39,631
You have to let me join you on this mission.
701
00:40:40,498 --> 00:40:41,160
Oh... No.
702
00:40:41,633 --> 00:40:42,634
That's not a good idea.
703
00:40:42,634 --> 00:40:43,735
It'd be really boring.
704
00:40:43,970 --> 00:40:47,137
Stuart, I get about 3 people a month in here.
705
00:40:47,137 --> 00:40:49,728
Anything you're doing has to be more exciting than that!
706
00:40:49,938 --> 00:40:53,024
Come on, Stuart!!! Let her join us, it'll be great!!!
707
00:40:53,486 --> 00:40:54,647
Come on, we could do with the company!
708
00:40:55,129 --> 00:40:57,086
We'd be like The Three Musketeers!
709
00:40:57,086 --> 00:40:59,418
Except, you know, they were guys, and, you know...
710
00:40:59,418 --> 00:41:02,097
You're obviously a lady...
711
00:41:02,097 --> 00:41:04,472
A very, very lovely lady.
712
00:41:04,837 --> 00:41:06,138
Well, thank you, Geoff.
713
00:41:06,138 --> 00:41:07,213
That's enough of that!
714
00:41:07,618 --> 00:41:10,692
Fine, you can come, but don't slow us down, yeah?
715
00:41:11,024 --> 00:41:12,508
I won't! I promise!
716
00:41:12,703 --> 00:41:14,608
Right, do you need help with the password?
717
00:41:14,608 --> 00:41:15,920
No, of course not!
718
00:41:17,380 --> 00:41:18,491
Aren't you a clever boy?!
719
00:41:19,649 --> 00:41:22,441
Right. Time to find the Game Child.
720
00:41:27,859 --> 00:41:28,872
Oh...
721
00:41:29,535 --> 00:41:30,541
It looks like a map...
722
00:41:30,541 --> 00:41:33,461
But, what use is a map without any place names?
723
00:41:33,850 --> 00:41:35,131
I'll print it anyway.
724
00:41:36,517 --> 00:41:37,577
Come on, let's go!
725
00:41:37,778 --> 00:41:38,617
Yes!
726
00:41:41,563 --> 00:41:42,248
I've got it!
727
00:41:42,248 --> 00:41:43,475
Right, are we ready to go?!
728
00:41:44,103 --> 00:41:44,887
Yeah... I think that's it.
729
00:41:45,243 --> 00:41:46,410
Okay, I just need to lock up!
730
00:41:46,853 --> 00:41:48,001
Ooh, we're going on a little adventure!
731
00:41:48,001 --> 00:41:49,119
This is going to be so much fun!
732
00:41:52,492 --> 00:41:53,915
Come on, let's go!
733
00:41:53,915 --> 00:41:54,542
Let's go!
734
00:41:54,542 --> 00:41:55,115
What are you doing?!
735
00:41:55,624 --> 00:41:56,482
What about Marian?!
736
00:41:56,946 --> 00:41:57,386
What are we doing?
737
00:41:57,386 --> 00:41:58,346
Come on!
738
00:41:58,770 --> 00:41:59,877
She's still in there!
739
00:42:00,254 --> 00:42:01,564
I know, come on!
740
00:42:05,726 --> 00:42:09,478
Stupid! Stuart... Ashens...
741
00:42:10,392 --> 00:42:12,718
Ashens.... Ass Head!
742
00:42:13,388 --> 00:42:16,309
Stupid name, with his stupid YouTube channel.
743
00:42:16,620 --> 00:42:19,024
Stupid, stupid, stupid!
744
00:42:20,225 --> 00:42:23,171
Oh... Hello, sorry we're closed.
745
00:42:24,090 --> 00:42:27,417
We're not here to take out any books... You idiot.
746
00:42:27,417 --> 00:42:31,736
You know what? I've had a really horrible day, and you're very annoying.
747
00:42:32,068 --> 00:42:33,272
So leave.
748
00:42:36,936 --> 00:42:40,148
I was just telling your friend. We're closed. Now get out!
749
00:42:41,618 --> 00:42:42,373
Oh, we'll go...
750
00:42:43,133 --> 00:42:44,853
But you'll be joining us.
751
00:42:44,853 --> 00:42:48,877
What are you talking about?!
752
00:42:47,173 --> 00:42:49,540
Get off of me!
753
00:42:54,130 --> 00:42:56,115
We shouldn't have done that, Stuart, she seemed treally nice!
754
00:42:56,554 --> 00:42:59,469
She is, she is really nice.
755
00:42:59,469 --> 00:43:02,322
I just don't want to get her mixed up in this insanity.
756
00:43:02,322 --> 00:43:03,752
I knew it! You like her, don't you?
757
00:43:03,945 --> 00:43:04,528
You like her!
758
00:43:04,528 --> 00:43:07,185
# Ashens and Marian sitting in a tree...
759
00:43:07,185 --> 00:43:09,294
# K-I-S-S-I-N-G
760
00:43:09,294 --> 00:43:10,235
# F-U-
761
00:43:10,235 --> 00:43:10,895
Yeah! Alright!!!
762
00:43:10,895 --> 00:43:11,845
That's enough of that!
763
00:43:12,014 --> 00:43:14,174
So what's the problem? She obviously likes you!
764
00:43:14,174 --> 00:43:15,567
I don't want to talk about it.
765
00:43:15,567 --> 00:43:17,237
Oh, come on, Stuart, don't be like that.
766
00:43:17,719 --> 00:43:18,919
I like to keep my life simple.
767
00:43:18,919 --> 00:43:20,010
I'm not accountable to anybody else.
768
00:43:20,010 --> 00:43:21,553
Nobody is accountable to me.
769
00:43:21,553 --> 00:43:24,394
Otherwise things get messy.
770
00:43:24,394 --> 00:43:26,162
Oh, God, that is ridiculous!
771
00:43:26,162 --> 00:43:28,090
You're not an island, Stuart.
772
00:43:28,492 --> 00:43:31,055
# "No man is an island".
773
00:43:31,055 --> 00:43:31,950
Well it works for me.
774
00:43:31,950 --> 00:43:32,750
I don't think it does.
775
00:43:32,750 --> 00:43:33,716
Just drop it, yeah?
776
00:43:33,716 --> 00:43:36,250
Come on, Captain Unaccountable, what are you avoiding?
777
00:43:36,250 --> 00:43:37,408
Geoff. Enough.
778
00:43:37,905 --> 00:43:38,752
Ooh, what's the matter with you?
779
00:43:38,752 --> 00:43:41,667
Fine! Alright, you really want to know?
780
00:43:41,667 --> 00:43:42,648
Of course I do.
781
00:43:43,454 --> 00:43:47,799
Well, at school I was the weird kid, who knew all the answers,
782
00:43:47,799 --> 00:43:50,230
and was obsessed with tat, and you know...
783
00:43:50,230 --> 00:43:53,539
That's not really a recipe for popularity or friends...
784
00:43:54,128 --> 00:43:57,323
Then at university I thought I'd found somewhere I fit in, but...
785
00:43:57,323 --> 00:44:00,739
Then the Professor went and... Well...
786
00:44:00,739 --> 00:44:02,627
You know that story.
787
00:44:03,399 --> 00:44:06,304
Whenever I get close to people I get hurt.
788
00:44:08,089 --> 00:44:09,560
I was your friend at school.
789
00:44:11,850 --> 00:44:13,301
Yeah... Yeah, you were.
790
00:44:13,572 --> 00:44:15,339
Well, has it been that horrible having me about?
791
00:44:15,861 --> 00:44:19,981
Yes, it's been the worst thing that's ever happened to me in my entire life!
792
00:44:20,590 --> 00:44:21,622
Geoff's right, Ashens.
793
00:44:21,622 --> 00:44:23,712
You can't keep shutting people out forever.
794
00:44:24,493 --> 00:44:25,846
It makes for a very lonely life.
795
00:44:26,336 --> 00:44:27,689
Trust me, I know.
796
00:44:28,085 --> 00:44:28,576
Exactly.
797
00:44:28,978 --> 00:44:29,855
See, that's what I've been trying to tell him.
798
00:44:29,855 --> 00:44:30,823
He just doesn't listen.
799
00:44:31,251 --> 00:44:33,198
A life without risk is a life half-lived.
800
00:44:34,432 --> 00:44:36,244
Do you mind? This is a private conversation.
801
00:44:36,972 --> 00:44:37,936
I'm sorry.
802
00:44:39,889 --> 00:44:40,620
So where are we heading?
803
00:44:40,908 --> 00:44:42,758
Well, I know someone who would help us with the map.
804
00:44:43,187 --> 00:44:46,631
It's just that he's in a secure psychiatric facility.
805
00:44:46,631 --> 00:44:47,581
Seriously?!
806
00:44:47,765 --> 00:44:50,151
Are none of your acquaintances not total nutjobs?!
807
00:45:10,927 --> 00:45:12,094
Let me do the talking...
808
00:45:12,663 --> 00:45:14,496
I've got a fake I.D. Card.
809
00:45:15,500 --> 00:45:16,096
Okay.
810
00:45:19,381 --> 00:45:19,959
Hello, Wesley.
811
00:45:21,473 --> 00:45:22,402
Nice to see you again.
812
00:45:29,312 --> 00:45:31,212
Lovely weather we're having for this time of year...
813
00:45:32,373 --> 00:45:35,474
Nice for this month, on average... Umm...
814
00:45:39,751 --> 00:45:41,033
You've got ten minutes
815
00:45:45,637 --> 00:45:46,255
Hello!
816
00:45:53,258 --> 00:45:56,091
I can smell your thoughts!
817
00:45:56,696 --> 00:45:57,243
Eurgh!
818
00:46:17,061 --> 00:46:18,266
Oh! Hello there!
819
00:46:18,803 --> 00:46:19,535
How's it going?!
820
00:46:19,900 --> 00:46:20,547
I'm fine, cheers!
821
00:46:20,547 --> 00:46:21,191
How's you?
822
00:46:21,403 --> 00:46:24,383
I'm not too bad, considering I've been in here for several years for no good reason!
823
00:46:24,727 --> 00:46:28,982
You killed seventeen people because they beat your high score at Donkey Kong, Larry.
824
00:46:28,982 --> 00:46:31,051
Well... There's that...
825
00:46:31,857 --> 00:46:32,661
Who's your mate?
826
00:46:33,018 --> 00:46:33,971
I'm Chef Excellence!
827
00:46:34,329 --> 00:46:36,183
Well you want to be careful about going on adventures with him!
828
00:46:36,390 --> 00:46:38,410
Last time I was with him, I lost one of my fingers.
829
00:46:38,787 --> 00:46:39,923
But you've got five fingers!
830
00:46:39,923 --> 00:46:40,803
I had six!
831
00:46:40,803 --> 00:46:41,845
It's true...
832
00:46:42,305 --> 00:46:43,796
Look, we need some information.
833
00:46:43,796 --> 00:46:44,839
Anything you want, mate.
834
00:46:44,839 --> 00:46:45,976
About the Game Child.
835
00:46:45,976 --> 00:46:47,088
Anything except that, mate.
836
00:46:51,227 --> 00:46:54,152
Look, can you just have a look at this map, and tell us what place it is?
837
00:46:57,495 --> 00:46:59,119
I've told you about the Game Child before.
838
00:46:59,473 --> 00:47:00,483
I'm not telling you.
839
00:47:01,482 --> 00:47:02,807
Please! It's really important.
840
00:47:02,807 --> 00:47:04,310
-Oi! This I.D. Card's a fake!!!
841
00:47:04,463 --> 00:47:05,114
Run!
842
00:47:05,114 --> 00:47:06,102
It's in Sadonion!
843
00:47:06,601 --> 00:47:07,083
Run!
844
00:47:10,254 --> 00:47:11,178
Ashens?
845
00:47:13,753 --> 00:47:14,913
Sadonion...
846
00:47:15,459 --> 00:47:16,959
I know where that place is.
847
00:47:18,188 --> 00:47:19,462
Oh, damn it, Ashens!
848
00:47:20,842 --> 00:47:23,471
I had better go and find him, otherwise he'll be calling me with his arse all day!
849
00:47:28,294 --> 00:47:28,855
Argh!
850
00:47:34,842 --> 00:47:35,297
Geoff?
851
00:47:36,717 --> 00:47:37,339
Geoff?
852
00:47:38,113 --> 00:47:38,794
Geoff!
853
00:47:54,317 --> 00:47:55,311
Geoff! Geoff!
854
00:47:55,311 --> 00:47:56,156
Over here, mate!
855
00:47:56,846 --> 00:47:57,655
Where have you been?
856
00:47:57,655 --> 00:47:58,981
I got lost for a second.
857
00:47:59,652 --> 00:48:00,689
I was really worried.
858
00:48:00,689 --> 00:48:01,732
I'm fine.
859
00:48:01,732 --> 00:48:03,214
I just got sidetracked.
860
00:48:03,214 --> 00:48:04,562
I thought you'd been captured or something!
861
00:48:05,512 --> 00:48:06,704
Yeah, you would have loved that, wouldn't you?
862
00:48:06,704 --> 00:48:08,621
What? What are you talking about?
863
00:48:08,913 --> 00:48:12,337
Admit it. You don't want me on this mission, and you have never wanted me around!
864
00:48:12,337 --> 00:48:13,553
No! That's not true!
865
00:48:13,553 --> 00:48:14,331
It is true!
866
00:48:14,980 --> 00:48:15,849
You'll just ditch me.
867
00:48:15,849 --> 00:48:17,943
Just like everyone else has my entire life.
868
00:48:18,155 --> 00:48:22,201
Look, I don't know what's gotten into you, but I should have left you in there with all the other lunatics!
869
00:48:22,201 --> 00:48:24,693
Yeah...You're right...
870
00:48:27,223 --> 00:48:28,984
I'm not right, am I?
871
00:48:29,281 --> 00:48:32,153
At least you're not wearing that Chef's hat anymore.
872
00:48:32,795 --> 00:48:33,627
Come on, let's go.
873
00:48:42,105 --> 00:48:43,299
Stuart Ashen!!!
874
00:48:43,299 --> 00:48:44,488
Bloody hell!
875
00:48:44,894 --> 00:48:45,980
What are you doing here?!
876
00:48:45,980 --> 00:48:48,094
You've been arse-dialling me all day!!!
877
00:48:48,094 --> 00:48:49,076
Oh...
878
00:48:49,076 --> 00:48:50,146
Oh, sorry, I didn't realise!
879
00:48:50,146 --> 00:48:51,665
Yes, it was quite annoying,
880
00:48:51,665 --> 00:48:54,577
but it gives me the opportunity to apologise to you in person.
881
00:48:54,577 --> 00:48:58,896
I appreciate that my music may have been a trifle too loud, and for this, I am sorry.
882
00:48:58,896 --> 00:49:01,915
It's alright. Yeah. Um... This is my friend, Geoff.
883
00:49:01,915 --> 00:49:04,549
Hey! Great costume!
884
00:49:04,549 --> 00:49:05,651
It's not a costume!
885
00:49:06,164 --> 00:49:06,756
Weirdo.
886
00:49:07,261 --> 00:49:11,995
Anyway, I overheard your situation, and I have a necessary experience to help you on your quest.
887
00:49:11,995 --> 00:49:13,639
It's not a quest. It's a mission.
888
00:49:13,639 --> 00:49:16,721
Yeah whatever. I shall lead you to Sadonion.
889
00:49:16,721 --> 00:49:17,973
We're going to walk to Sadonion?
890
00:49:17,973 --> 00:49:20,866
One does not simply walk into Sadonion.
891
00:49:21,029 --> 00:49:22,090
Come with me.
892
00:49:32,487 --> 00:49:33,770
Stuart, I'm scared!
893
00:49:33,770 --> 00:49:37,798
I think I went to a hotel like this place.
894
00:49:35,423 --> 00:49:36,573
I want to turn back!
895
00:49:36,573 --> 00:49:37,871
It's not good.
896
00:49:41,227 --> 00:49:43,912
I swore I would never return to this place..
897
00:49:47,234 --> 00:49:50,883
So, you have returned, Champion of the Shining Death's Head!
898
00:49:52,014 --> 00:49:55,120
The nightmares beyond this fog all still hold much danger for thee.
899
00:49:56,074 --> 00:49:57,483
Ashens. Come with me.
900
00:50:02,452 --> 00:50:03,423
What happened here?
901
00:50:07,133 --> 00:50:10,734
The creatures beyond this wall have never proffered an explanation.
902
00:50:11,611 --> 00:50:15,492
And those that have sought one have found only madness!
903
00:50:16,084 --> 00:50:17,602
I bet the house prices are cheap, though.
904
00:50:18,000 --> 00:50:19,973
Eh... Not if you want a place by the seafront.
905
00:50:24,368 --> 00:50:25,572
You don't want to mess around in there.
906
00:50:25,893 --> 00:50:29,759
This will stop most of the horrors, but probably won't help me against the tentacle-headed things.
907
00:50:30,329 --> 00:50:31,394
But, what are you going to do?
908
00:50:33,342 --> 00:50:34,278
Can't be too careful.
909
00:50:34,551 --> 00:50:36,833
I can't let you do this. This is my mission.
910
00:50:36,833 --> 00:50:38,609
You would never survive in that place.
911
00:50:38,930 --> 00:50:41,019
Come on, Stu. Let someone help you for once.
912
00:50:42,440 --> 00:50:43,694
Okay. Okay.
913
00:50:43,792 --> 00:50:44,678
Good Luck.
914
00:50:44,795 --> 00:50:45,631
Thank you.
915
00:50:47,768 --> 00:50:49,354
Do not cross the fog wall!
916
00:50:49,814 --> 00:50:51,435
The Silver Skull will return!
917
00:51:02,571 --> 00:51:04,398
The Silver Skull forgot his lunch box.
918
00:51:05,496 --> 00:51:06,221
What?!
919
00:51:06,260 --> 00:51:07,294
Right, back in a minute.
920
00:51:16,993 --> 00:51:18,063
What the hell was that?!
921
00:51:18,063 --> 00:51:19,653
I don't know, man.
922
00:51:20,351 --> 00:51:23,236
Did you make the stick yourself? Or eBay?
923
00:51:24,207 --> 00:51:27,983
So do you guys wait here all day? Do you have somewhere to go, like, in the evening when it gets a bit cold?
924
00:51:39,232 --> 00:51:43,596
Are you in a union, or something? Or a civil partnership?
925
00:51:51,305 --> 00:51:52,351
You alright? Come on!
926
00:51:52,690 --> 00:51:53,479
You're alright, mate, I've got you!
927
00:51:53,664 --> 00:51:55,207
Come on. Come on.
928
00:51:56,693 --> 00:51:57,948
Oh...
929
00:52:00,003 --> 00:52:03,018
The tentacle-headed things. There were too many.
930
00:52:03,929 --> 00:52:04,663
I'm sorry.
931
00:52:04,663 --> 00:52:07,607
Help me take this mask off.
932
00:52:08,827 --> 00:52:10,552
Let me look on you with-
933
00:52:10,552 --> 00:52:12,167
With your own eyes. Yes.
934
00:52:12,167 --> 00:52:14,538
I'm dying here! I can quote whatever I like!
935
00:52:14,538 --> 00:52:15,638
Sorry! Sorry!
936
00:52:22,169 --> 00:52:22,419
But...
937
00:52:23,189 --> 00:52:25,928
You're quite obviously the famous actor, Warwick Davis!
938
00:52:26,261 --> 00:52:30,478
Yes. You may remember me from the Star Wars and Harry Potter franchises,
939
00:52:30,478 --> 00:52:32,689
as well as the 1988 fantasy film, Willow.
940
00:52:33,069 --> 00:52:34,532
But how can you be the Silver Skull?
941
00:52:34,776 --> 00:52:36,873
I just put this mask on. It's not rocket science!
942
00:52:37,274 --> 00:52:38,232
But, you're the wrong height!
943
00:52:38,232 --> 00:52:40,335
You don't have to be a certain height to wear a mask, you know!
944
00:52:40,660 --> 00:52:42,692
No, I meant, the Silver Skull is tall, isn't he?
945
00:52:42,729 --> 00:52:44,629
I'm an actor. It's called acting.
946
00:52:44,629 --> 00:52:46,709
I mean, it's like a, a matter of physics, isn't it?
947
00:52:46,709 --> 00:52:50,415
Oh, so now I have to be 5 foot 7 to understand the basic principles of science, now?
948
00:52:50,415 --> 00:52:51,951
No, that's not what I meant at all!
949
00:52:52,300 --> 00:52:54,561
Crestfallen guy! Help me out, here.
950
00:52:55,911 --> 00:52:58,707
You know what you are?! You're an idiot! And a bigot!
951
00:53:01,914 --> 00:53:03,409
You've got the wrong end of the stick!
952
00:53:04,837 --> 00:53:05,559
I got you!
953
00:53:06,009 --> 00:53:06,517
What?!
954
00:53:06,573 --> 00:53:07,643
I was just pulling your leg!
955
00:53:07,808 --> 00:53:09,093
I thought it up with that guy, over there.
956
00:53:13,906 --> 00:53:14,900
Unbelievable!
957
00:53:15,102 --> 00:53:16,069
So you're not really dying then?
958
00:53:16,069 --> 00:53:17,043
No! I'm fine!
959
00:53:17,409 --> 00:53:18,711
And you're not Warwick Davis.
960
00:53:18,711 --> 00:53:20,014
I'm quite clearly Warwick Davis.
961
00:53:20,014 --> 00:53:21,762
Oh... Right. Right.
962
00:53:22,973 --> 00:53:23,975
Here, give me a hand up.
963
00:53:28,045 --> 00:53:30,284
But.... Oh forget it.
964
00:53:31,820 --> 00:53:32,470
See you later!
965
00:53:34,546 --> 00:53:35,251
Weirdos...
966
00:53:36,031 --> 00:53:37,045
Hi. I'm Stuart.
967
00:53:37,483 --> 00:53:38,071
Who are you?
968
00:53:38,071 --> 00:53:40,439
Hey, dude, they call me the Guide.
969
00:53:40,439 --> 00:53:44,032
So, presumably, you guide people places?
970
00:53:44,032 --> 00:53:46,781
Yeah, man, that's pretty much it in a nutshell.
971
00:53:47,195 --> 00:53:51,450
Look, you have saved my life, and I am in your debt.
972
00:53:51,450 --> 00:53:55,212
The Silver Skull told me of your quest to find the Game Child.
973
00:53:55,674 --> 00:53:57,491
Why do people keep calling it a quest?
974
00:53:57,676 --> 00:54:00,120
I know where the Game Child is, man!
975
00:54:00,455 --> 00:54:01,739
Oh, fantastic! Where?!
976
00:54:02,147 --> 00:54:03,953
Follow me.
977
00:54:05,212 --> 00:54:09,180
But, before we go, I must warn you both...
978
00:54:10,171 --> 00:54:11,642
The path is not going to be easy.
979
00:54:12,480 --> 00:54:14,539
It's going to be filled with treacherous obstacles,
980
00:54:14,971 --> 00:54:18,582
and danger, and stuff.
981
00:54:19,955 --> 00:54:20,661
Understood.
982
00:54:22,169 --> 00:54:22,652
Very well.
983
00:54:22,503 --> 00:54:26,503
Stuart, it's filled with stuff! That could be anything!
984
00:54:26,503 --> 00:54:27,103
I know.
985
00:54:27,524 --> 00:54:29,053
I know, calm down.
986
00:54:31,225 --> 00:54:33,413
Oh, come on Guide. We've been walking for days!
987
00:54:33,820 --> 00:54:35,266
It's not too far now.
988
00:54:35,643 --> 00:54:36,936
My legs are killing me.
989
00:54:37,403 --> 00:54:38,307
My feet as well!
990
00:54:38,706 --> 00:54:39,742
His moaning is killing me.
991
00:54:40,053 --> 00:54:41,974
Treat the frisbee as if it was your own child.
992
00:54:42,391 --> 00:54:45,223
Throw it out of your hand like your first born son.
993
00:54:45,703 --> 00:54:47,853
You're really channeling Mother Earth's energy.
994
00:54:48,093 --> 00:54:50,147
This is like Tron Legacy, only less disappointing!
995
00:54:52,815 --> 00:54:53,741
There's stuff in my face!
996
00:54:55,090 --> 00:54:56,382
Nature's eating me!
997
00:54:56,514 --> 00:54:56,952
Come on, let it out.
998
00:54:57,075 --> 00:54:58,977
That is the lamest thing I've ever seen in my life.
999
00:54:59,023 --> 00:55:00,080
You can talk, hippy boy!
1000
00:55:09,397 --> 00:55:10,766
There's someone I want to introduce you to.
1001
00:55:11,302 --> 00:55:14,164
A good old friend of mine, isn't that right you old son of a birch?!
1002
00:55:16,314 --> 00:55:17,339
We need to be cracking on, mate.
1003
00:55:17,901 --> 00:55:19,685
Come on, Guide, let's not.
1004
00:55:21,474 --> 00:55:23,213
Guide! Come on!
1005
00:55:24,503 --> 00:55:25,722
We'll always have Woodstock.
1006
00:55:26,174 --> 00:55:28,433
I'm about to channel the energy from the frisbee.
1007
00:55:29,940 --> 00:55:31,585
Yeah, you keep doing that.
1008
00:55:34,117 --> 00:55:35,485
A toast to a good time!
1009
00:55:36,014 --> 00:55:36,847
And clean bowels.
1010
00:55:37,417 --> 00:55:38,822
That's the best kind!
1011
00:55:43,405 --> 00:55:44,359
We're here, man.
1012
00:55:44,402 --> 00:55:45,925
You said it was going to be dangerous!
1013
00:55:46,747 --> 00:55:48,315
Well, you know, that coffee was hot.
1014
00:55:48,315 --> 00:55:50,530
And I hurt my finger playing frisbee.
1015
00:55:50,530 --> 00:55:52,037
Fair enough...
1016
00:55:52,503 --> 00:55:55,196
So, the Game Child's in here. What is this place?
1017
00:55:55,593 --> 00:56:00,785
The Game Child has traveled across many paths, and this is its current home.
1018
00:56:01,127 --> 00:56:05,614
A really, super-cool, hip, conceptual artist has used it in his latest exhibition.
1019
00:56:06,103 --> 00:56:07,496
So how to we get past the electric fence?
1020
00:56:07,496 --> 00:56:10,716
Oh, this fence isn't actually electrified.
1021
00:56:10,716 --> 00:56:12,661
It's just an illusion, dude.
1022
00:56:12,972 --> 00:56:14,663
It's designed to deter the uninitiated.
1023
00:56:15,076 --> 00:56:15,920
Are you sure?
1024
00:56:16,336 --> 00:56:18,457
Have I steered you the wrong way yet?
1025
00:56:18,947 --> 00:56:20,001
Well, no, but look at the sign.
1026
00:56:20,001 --> 00:56:21,163
Then just chill!
1027
00:56:21,163 --> 00:56:23,041
Trust me, dude!
1028
00:56:23,341 --> 00:56:25,091
Shouldn't we test it or something first, at least?
1029
00:56:25,091 --> 00:56:30,683
There's no need for tests, when you have faith in your own knowledge.
1030
00:56:33,054 --> 00:56:34,173
Bloody hell!
1031
00:56:35,674 --> 00:56:36,330
Get a stick!
1032
00:56:37,298 --> 00:56:38,780
Oh God, hang in there man, you'll be fine!
1033
00:56:39,076 --> 00:56:40,194
Unless you're already dead!
1034
00:56:40,194 --> 00:56:40,983
I can't tell!
1035
00:56:41,307 --> 00:56:42,458
Electricity is your friend.
1036
00:56:42,458 --> 00:56:43,385
Just go with the flow!
1037
00:56:43,385 --> 00:56:46,189
I'm running out of reassuring things to say!
1038
00:56:46,189 --> 00:56:48,095
It's the amps that kill you, not the volts!
1039
00:56:54,594 --> 00:56:55,005
Guide?
1040
00:56:56,399 --> 00:56:58,453
Guide, are you okay?
1041
00:56:59,773 --> 00:57:02,935
Psst! Come on, sleepyhead!
1042
00:57:02,935 --> 00:57:04,991
Time for school.
1043
00:57:06,005 --> 00:57:07,098
Stuart, I don't think he's going to make it!
1044
00:57:07,944 --> 00:57:08,784
Poor guy!
1045
00:57:10,299 --> 00:57:12,872
On the plus side, I think he shorted out the electric fence.
1046
00:57:26,227 --> 00:57:30,350
Well at least his death wasn't entirely in vain.
1047
00:57:31,526 --> 00:57:32,603
What shall we do with the body?
1048
00:57:33,371 --> 00:57:34,137
Don't worry, Stuart.
1049
00:57:35,198 --> 00:57:38,010
A true Chef knows how to honor his fallen comrades.
1050
00:58:01,384 --> 00:58:02,751
Woah! Hang on there!
1051
00:58:03,451 --> 00:58:06,180
There could be alarms, and sensors, and red laser beams...
1052
00:58:06,180 --> 00:58:07,817
You know, like those ones in the movies?
1053
00:58:08,919 --> 00:58:09,806
Let me check.
1054
00:58:10,071 --> 00:58:10,732
Don't worry, Stuart.
1055
00:58:10,732 --> 00:58:13,787
A true Chef will always defer to a security expert.
1056
00:58:14,215 --> 00:58:15,165
Good for you.
1057
00:58:17,975 --> 00:58:20,770
Yep, just as I thought.
1058
00:58:21,365 --> 00:58:23,378
Red lasers everywhere.
1059
00:58:23,612 --> 00:58:24,015
Oh, God.
1060
00:58:25,024 --> 00:58:26,402
I'm going to need to talk you through this.
1061
00:58:27,041 --> 00:58:27,768
You up to it?
1062
00:58:28,170 --> 00:58:28,968
I don't know, I jus-
1063
00:58:28,968 --> 00:58:30,602
You can do this, Geoff.
1064
00:58:31,316 --> 00:58:32,297
I believe in you.
1065
00:58:32,809 --> 00:58:33,865
You believe in me?!
1066
00:58:35,448 --> 00:58:36,287
I can do this, Stuart.
1067
00:58:36,598 --> 00:58:37,453
I can do this!
1068
00:58:38,274 --> 00:58:41,029
Right. Focus, look straight ahead,
1069
00:58:41,029 --> 00:58:43,607
and do exactly as I say, when I say it, yeah?
1070
00:58:46,728 --> 00:58:47,628
Three steps forward.
1071
00:58:47,684 --> 00:58:48,219
Okay.
1072
00:58:49,570 --> 00:58:50,086
Stop!
1073
00:58:50,866 --> 00:58:52,965
Excellent, now raise your left arm in the air.
1074
00:58:53,424 --> 00:58:53,990
Like this?
1075
00:58:53,990 --> 00:58:56,322
Yep, higher, as far as you can get it.
1076
00:58:56,704 --> 00:58:58,092
That's good, very good.
1077
00:58:58,448 --> 00:59:00,015
Now, Left leg, bring it up.
1078
00:59:00,749 --> 00:59:01,442
Little bit higher.
1079
00:59:01,442 --> 00:59:01,920
Is that okay?
1080
00:59:02,129 --> 00:59:02,569
Good.
1081
00:59:02,569 --> 00:59:03,197
Very good.
1082
00:59:03,531 --> 00:59:05,551
Now, spin your foot around in a circle.
1083
00:59:06,585 --> 00:59:07,421
A little bit wider.
1084
00:59:07,421 --> 00:59:08,890
I can't look at this, I'm not looking, Stu!
1085
00:59:08,890 --> 00:59:11,441
Now, with your right arm, pat your head.
1086
00:59:11,441 --> 00:59:12,087
Like this?
1087
00:59:12,339 --> 00:59:13,217
That's it.
1088
00:59:13,217 --> 00:59:14,190
Keep going, it's good!
1089
00:59:14,552 --> 00:59:15,008
Calm down!
1090
00:59:15,008 --> 00:59:15,543
Calm down!
1091
00:59:15,687 --> 00:59:16,366
Keep going.
1092
00:59:16,366 --> 00:59:17,001
I can't!
1093
00:59:21,520 --> 00:59:22,335
There's nothing there!
1094
00:59:24,099 --> 00:59:25,260
I thought I was going to die!
1095
00:59:25,288 --> 00:59:26,739
Yeah, you always were gullible.
1096
00:59:28,280 --> 00:59:29,795
Come on, let's get this thing.
1097
00:59:43,681 --> 00:59:44,523
Stuart, it's-
1098
01:00:15,665 --> 01:00:16,729
It's the Game Child!
1099
01:00:18,203 --> 01:00:19,299
It's the Game Child.
1100
01:00:24,219 --> 01:00:25,050
What's that?!
1101
01:00:29,634 --> 01:00:31,587
Stuart, I'm sorry!
1102
01:00:33,386 --> 01:00:37,081
What's happening? What are you doing?!
1103
01:00:41,983 --> 01:00:44,084
So what's a Game Child when it's at home?
1104
01:00:44,529 --> 01:00:46,843
I had it! I had it in my hands!
1105
01:00:46,854 --> 01:00:47,295
I know!
1106
01:00:48,594 --> 01:00:49,679
I don't understand!
1107
01:00:49,679 --> 01:00:50,852
How did they know we were there?!
1108
01:00:51,108 --> 01:00:53,098
I don't know, we must have tripped an alarm or something.
1109
01:00:53,098 --> 01:00:55,845
They couldn't possibly have got there that quick though!
1110
01:00:56,082 --> 01:00:57,307
I don't know!!!
1111
01:00:58,697 --> 01:01:00,465
What's gotten into you?!
1112
01:01:02,587 --> 01:01:05,861
Nothing's gotten to me! Nothing! I'm fine!
1113
01:01:07,035 --> 01:01:07,849
You've been bailed.
1114
01:01:08,286 --> 01:01:08,997
Excellent!
1115
01:01:09,438 --> 01:01:10,290
Just him.
1116
01:01:10,728 --> 01:01:11,286
What?
1117
01:01:18,382 --> 01:01:22,433
Ashley? What the hell are you doing here?!
1118
01:01:23,355 --> 01:01:24,799
And what are you doing with that prat?!
1119
01:01:25,432 --> 01:01:26,100
Idiot!
1120
01:01:26,775 --> 01:01:29,782
Stewie! Nice to see you again!
1121
01:01:30,327 --> 01:01:31,278
How long has it been?
1122
01:01:31,714 --> 01:01:33,959
What, since you slept with the Professor, dumped me, and disappeared?
1123
01:01:34,777 --> 01:01:38,338
About ten years, five months, and two days.
1124
01:01:38,939 --> 01:01:39,852
Oh, Stewie...
1125
01:01:40,293 --> 01:01:43,049
It's Stuart! Not Stewie. I always hated "Stewie".
1126
01:01:43,398 --> 01:01:44,576
Fine, Stuart.
1127
01:01:44,919 --> 01:01:49,362
First off, Nemesis and I, we're... Friends.
1128
01:01:50,688 --> 01:01:52,708
Nemesis... That's a ridiculous name!
1129
01:01:53,064 --> 01:01:55,904
I told you! It's pronounced "Nee Mah Si"!
1130
01:01:55,904 --> 01:01:57,184
Stress the "I"!
1131
01:01:57,643 --> 01:01:58,575
It's Japanese!
1132
01:01:58,575 --> 01:01:59,170
Yes!
1133
01:01:59,624 --> 01:02:00,774
And more importantly,
1134
01:02:00,774 --> 01:02:02,781
your friend Geoff here,
1135
01:02:04,022 --> 01:02:05,378
he works for me.
1136
01:02:05,875 --> 01:02:07,084
I'm really sorry, Stuart.
1137
01:02:07,541 --> 01:02:08,529
They gave me my old job back.
1138
01:02:08,690 --> 01:02:09,939
I just couldn't say no.
1139
01:02:11,569 --> 01:02:12,822
You bastard!
1140
01:02:12,822 --> 01:02:16,069
You ridiculous, fake chef, bastard.
1141
01:02:16,069 --> 01:02:17,101
You can't even cook!
1142
01:02:17,101 --> 01:02:21,289
A true Chef doesn't need to know how to cook, or boil water, or-
1143
01:02:21,506 --> 01:02:23,032
And your friend, Marian.
1144
01:02:23,032 --> 01:02:25,525
Well, she also works for me now.
1145
01:02:29,342 --> 01:02:32,437
Fine. What has all this got to do with me?
1146
01:02:32,728 --> 01:02:33,948
You still haven't worked it out?
1147
01:02:34,816 --> 01:02:36,051
We want the Game Child.
1148
01:02:36,301 --> 01:02:41,087
I always thought your obsession with the Game Child was so childish!
1149
01:02:41,472 --> 01:02:43,927
If only I had known.
1150
01:02:45,084 --> 01:02:46,380
But Daddy enlightened me.
1151
01:02:46,866 --> 01:02:48,480
Oh, your father, yeah...
1152
01:02:48,658 --> 01:02:51,293
Yeah the great man who spent the last half of his life in a straight jacket.
1153
01:02:51,293 --> 01:02:54,158
And he never told you that you were pretty when you were a little girl.
1154
01:02:54,625 --> 01:02:55,290
Tragic.
1155
01:02:55,487 --> 01:02:57,028
I'm over that!
1156
01:03:02,006 --> 01:03:03,873
We couldn't find the Game Child.
1157
01:03:04,271 --> 01:03:05,386
But I knew you could.
1158
01:03:06,023 --> 01:03:08,112
You just needed a little encouragement.
1159
01:03:08,585 --> 01:03:10,570
So it was you who send the magazine with that text.
1160
01:03:11,112 --> 01:03:12,177
Everybody leave.
1161
01:03:13,288 --> 01:03:14,791
I want to be alone with Stuart.
1162
01:03:16,678 --> 01:03:17,498
Idiot!
1163
01:03:19,296 --> 01:03:21,178
I'm really... So sorry...
1164
01:03:24,076 --> 01:03:26,567
Ashens... And Ashley...
1165
01:03:28,791 --> 01:03:30,250
I always found that rather amusing.
1166
01:03:30,710 --> 01:03:32,279
Yeah, and you always were easily amused.
1167
01:03:33,066 --> 01:03:34,289
We did have fun back then.
1168
01:03:35,159 --> 01:03:36,203
Young love, and all that.
1169
01:03:37,379 --> 01:03:39,087
But I won't lie to you Stuart.
1170
01:03:39,609 --> 01:03:41,699
You were just a stepping stone.
1171
01:03:42,324 --> 01:03:46,365
In my youth, I was a bit... Insensitive.
1172
01:03:47,655 --> 01:03:51,947
But who would have known that spending time with little old you,
1173
01:03:52,168 --> 01:03:56,782
would reveal the importance of the Game Child!
1174
01:03:57,809 --> 01:04:00,260
The Game Child is inherently worthless.
1175
01:04:00,631 --> 01:04:05,525
Oh, Stuart. Even worthless things have their uses sometimes.
1176
01:04:07,353 --> 01:04:11,723
Oh, and by the way, it was me all those years ago,
1177
01:04:11,723 --> 01:04:15,148
who told the university about my affair with the Professor.
1178
01:04:15,992 --> 01:04:16,787
Oopsie.
1179
01:04:19,278 --> 01:04:20,196
Do you mind?!
1180
01:04:20,443 --> 01:04:21,449
Sorry.
1181
01:04:22,298 --> 01:04:23,297
Goodbye, Stuart.
1182
01:04:24,072 --> 01:04:24,987
Enjoy your stay.
1183
01:04:30,392 --> 01:04:33,846
Man! That is one crazy broad!
1184
01:04:34,258 --> 01:04:35,647
You're not wrong.
1185
01:05:39,361 --> 01:05:40,199
Oh my God...
1186
01:05:40,965 --> 01:05:41,873
Are you who I think you are?!
1187
01:05:42,293 --> 01:05:43,050
Maybe?
1188
01:05:43,488 --> 01:05:45,278
You're the guy who does the comedy thing!
1189
01:05:45,632 --> 01:05:46,482
Yeah... Yeah that's me.
1190
01:05:46,482 --> 01:05:47,485
Oh my God!!!
1191
01:05:47,534 --> 01:05:48,537
I love you!
1192
01:05:48,883 --> 01:05:51,251
You're so funny, with your weird sense of humour!
1193
01:05:51,742 --> 01:05:53,635
Thanks, thanks, yeah...
1194
01:05:53,992 --> 01:05:57,064
You okay? You seem a bit down.
1195
01:05:57,244 --> 01:06:00,372
Sorry, yeah, I just had a really bad couple of days.
1196
01:06:00,524 --> 01:06:02,357
Do you want to tell me about it.
1197
01:06:02,758 --> 01:06:05,549
I don't know, just sometimes I wonder why I bother.
1198
01:06:05,549 --> 01:06:08,113
You can't be like that! Not you!
1199
01:06:08,353 --> 01:06:12,153
Thousands of people cherish your work, and all the hilarious things you make!
1200
01:06:12,519 --> 01:06:15,144
You're a hero of mine...
1201
01:06:15,397 --> 01:06:16,678
Really?!
1202
01:06:16,878 --> 01:06:17,746
Hell, yeah!
1203
01:06:18,092 --> 01:06:21,476
Look, I know some people don't understand why you do what you do,
1204
01:06:21,476 --> 01:06:22,845
but that's no reason to give up!
1205
01:06:23,047 --> 01:06:23,982
Keep on going!
1206
01:06:24,354 --> 01:06:25,272
Do it for your fans!!!
1207
01:06:26,157 --> 01:06:26,889
Yeah!
1208
01:06:27,022 --> 01:06:27,892
Yeah, you're right!
1209
01:06:28,399 --> 01:06:31,127
People have always doubted me, and it's never stopped me before!
1210
01:06:31,147 --> 01:06:32,437
Why should it stop me now?!
1211
01:06:32,965 --> 01:06:35,315
Thanks anonymous stranger, you've been extremely helpful.
1212
01:06:35,428 --> 01:06:36,908
Oh my God, no problem!!!
1213
01:06:36,908 --> 01:06:38,007
Glad I could help!!!
1214
01:06:40,834 --> 01:06:42,104
You're not going to believe this!
1215
01:06:42,794 --> 01:06:43,806
Guess who I just met!
1216
01:06:44,545 --> 01:06:45,292
Guess!
1217
01:06:46,071 --> 01:06:46,572
Who?!
1218
01:06:47,458 --> 01:06:49,535
I just met Simon Pegg!!!
1219
01:06:49,746 --> 01:06:50,978
I know!!!
1220
01:06:54,116 --> 01:06:55,066
Citizen!
1221
01:06:56,598 --> 01:06:58,581
Get in the car, citizen. You're not safe here.
1222
01:06:58,581 --> 01:07:00,160
Oh, no that's fin-
1223
01:07:00,160 --> 01:07:01,510
Get in the back of the car!
1224
01:07:01,901 --> 01:07:04,021
Your very life hangs in the balance, my friend.
1225
01:07:09,312 --> 01:07:10,196
Quickly!
1226
01:07:10,993 --> 01:07:14,120
Woo! Dodged a bullet there, mate.
1227
01:07:14,489 --> 01:07:15,344
Really? How?
1228
01:07:15,622 --> 01:07:17,358
Lot of weirdos around here, my friend.
1229
01:07:17,763 --> 01:07:19,562
We've been beaten up in that alleyway, just there.
1230
01:07:19,552 --> 01:07:23,552
Why did you keep going back?
1231
01:07:19,562 --> 01:07:20,382
Five times.
1232
01:07:20,382 --> 01:07:21,579
By the same old lady.
1233
01:07:23,552 --> 01:07:24,184
It was kind of hot!
1234
01:07:29,185 --> 01:07:30,392
Need a life anywhere then, mate?
1235
01:07:30,690 --> 01:07:32,963
Uh... yeah, that's why I got in the car.
1236
01:07:33,396 --> 01:07:35,920
I'm going to the headquarters of the Terrifically Good Company.
1237
01:07:36,295 --> 01:07:37,673
Are you going to the old industrial estate?
1238
01:07:38,121 --> 01:07:38,844
Well, I dunno, we're pretty-
1239
01:07:39,201 --> 01:07:40,941
Sure are, big balls!
1240
01:07:41,156 --> 01:07:46,127
... Thanks, thanks... So are you two off to a fancy dress party or something?
1241
01:07:46,137 --> 01:07:47,232
What? No!
1242
01:07:46,258 --> 01:07:50,258
Britain's best super heroes!
1243
01:07:47,232 --> 01:07:48,790
We're Knighthood and Decoy!
1244
01:07:50,258 --> 01:07:51,628
Britain's only super heroes!
1245
01:07:51,876 --> 01:07:53,197
Why, are you going to a party?!
1246
01:07:53,519 --> 01:07:54,522
Oh, God no.
1247
01:07:54,522 --> 01:07:58,373
I hate parties. I'm actually on a mission at the moment.
1248
01:07:58,373 --> 01:07:59,260
Ooh...
1249
01:07:59,383 --> 01:08:01,247
That's a shame. We love parties.
1250
01:08:01,771 --> 01:08:03,716
# Everybody does!
1251
01:08:04,166 --> 01:08:06,932
# Make love to the music!
1252
01:08:07,203 --> 01:08:07,542
# And-
1253
01:08:07,542 --> 01:08:10,476
Don't, don't ever, make love to the music.
1254
01:08:10,476 --> 01:08:11,135
Sorry.
1255
01:08:15,263 --> 01:08:16,779
Here we are, sugar-tits.
1256
01:08:16,968 --> 01:08:17,806
... Thanks...
1257
01:08:17,806 --> 01:08:19,873
You know, you really shouldn't do this mission of yours alone.
1258
01:08:19,873 --> 01:08:20,697
Very Dangerous.
1259
01:08:21,037 --> 01:08:23,092
Yeah, I've been thinking about that a lot recently.
1260
01:08:23,325 --> 01:08:25,807
Thanks, ever so much for the lift. Very kind.
1261
01:08:25,807 --> 01:08:26,561
Take these.
1262
01:08:26,949 --> 01:08:27,900
Thanks.
1263
01:08:27,900 --> 01:08:28,631
And this.
1264
01:08:29,085 --> 01:08:31,333
Never know when that's going to come in handy.
1265
01:08:31,517 --> 01:08:33,688
Probably for tying something, or someone up.
1266
01:08:33,688 --> 01:08:37,233
And making objects far away seem nearer than they are, but it's up to you.
1267
01:08:37,598 --> 01:08:39,298
Well, thanks, that's very kind of you.
1268
01:08:39,298 --> 01:08:39,853
And here!
1269
01:08:39,863 --> 01:08:40,410
Jesus!
1270
01:08:40,410 --> 01:08:41,493
Have this.
1271
01:08:41,936 --> 01:08:44,976
It's a complimentary Limited Edition Knighthood and Decoy Cheese Knife.
1272
01:08:45,390 --> 01:08:46,276
That's great, great.
1273
01:08:46,612 --> 01:08:47,379
Remember...
1274
01:08:47,805 --> 01:08:51,123
"Cut the cheese, with Knighthood and Decoy!"
1275
01:08:52,938 --> 01:08:53,612
Catchy...
1276
01:08:53,826 --> 01:08:57,626
Thank you for the culinary utensils.
1277
01:08:57,384 --> 01:08:58,079
No worries.
1278
01:09:02,103 --> 01:09:05,021
You're a sweet, sweet man. Take care.
1279
01:09:05,021 --> 01:09:06,029
Good luck with the Mish!
1280
01:09:07,681 --> 01:09:08,483
Nice guy.
1281
01:09:08,516 --> 01:09:10,004
Very nice! Very nice.
1282
01:09:10,939 --> 01:09:11,703
Didn't leave a tip, though.
1283
01:09:11,703 --> 01:09:13,019
Yeh, like petrol is free.
1284
01:09:13,676 --> 01:09:14,459
I gave him a cheese knife.
1285
01:09:20,459 --> 01:09:22,044
Yeah, but that's merchandise.
1286
01:09:22,044 --> 01:09:22,930
That's marketing.
1287
01:09:22,930 --> 01:09:24,328
Yeah, so he'll remember us.
1288
01:09:24,756 --> 01:09:26,974
Everytime he cuts the cheese.
1289
01:09:43,327 --> 01:09:44,882
You shouldn't have come here, Stuart.
1290
01:09:47,090 --> 01:09:48,908
Oh look, it's Chef Judas!
1291
01:09:49,105 --> 01:09:51,672
A true Chef knows how to stab his friends in the back!
1292
01:09:52,108 --> 01:09:53,153
You just couldn't let it go, could you?!
1293
01:09:53,153 --> 01:09:55,496
You couldn't stand to see my name in lights!
1294
01:09:55,496 --> 01:09:56,375
What?
1295
01:09:56,419 --> 01:09:57,019
Enough!
1296
01:09:57,747 --> 01:09:58,525
Give me that.
1297
01:10:01,188 --> 01:10:01,820
What are you doing?
1298
01:10:02,269 --> 01:10:03,202
I'm sorry, Stuart.
1299
01:10:07,939 --> 01:10:09,087
Drop your weapons. I said drop them!
1300
01:10:09,806 --> 01:10:11,978
Put your hands up! I said down! Get Down!
1301
01:10:15,549 --> 01:10:16,557
So it was all a trick then?
1302
01:10:16,875 --> 01:10:20,350
Yeah... Yeah it was uhh... Just a ruse to help us on our quest-
1303
01:10:20,350 --> 01:10:20,940
I mean on our-
1304
01:10:23,056 --> 01:10:23,654
No.
1305
01:10:24,209 --> 01:10:26,073
No, it wasn't, Stuart. I did betray you.
1306
01:10:26,519 --> 01:10:29,411
I'm sorry, I just really wanted my old life back.
1307
01:10:30,618 --> 01:10:32,775
But when I finally had it, I realised I didn't need it anymore.
1308
01:10:33,520 --> 01:10:37,600
It's alright, it's been good having you along,
1309
01:10:37,600 --> 01:10:39,756
and I know I haven't exactly been the best friend.
1310
01:10:40,264 --> 01:10:41,152
Thanks, Stuart.
1311
01:10:41,922 --> 01:10:44,130
Oh, God. I forgot! They've got Marian.
1312
01:10:44,130 --> 01:10:45,931
Yeah, she's working with-
1313
01:10:45,931 --> 01:10:47,309
No! They've taken her captive!
1314
01:10:47,309 --> 01:10:48,395
Really?!
1315
01:10:48,395 --> 01:10:49,141
Yeah!
1316
01:11:07,211 --> 01:11:08,313
I've got an idea!
1317
01:11:08,687 --> 01:11:10,011
You seen the original Star Wars?
1318
01:11:10,011 --> 01:11:12,333
Yeah! Of course I have!
1319
01:11:12,354 --> 01:11:13,934
I've seen all the Star Wars films.
1320
01:11:14,088 --> 01:11:20,278
Now, you remember with Luke and Han, dress up in Stormtrooper armour to rescue Leia from the Death Star?
1321
01:11:20,278 --> 01:11:22,084
Yeah...
1322
01:11:22,306 --> 01:11:25,284
We could do exactly that!
1323
01:11:36,969 --> 01:11:38,190
Hang on, mate.
1324
01:11:39,600 --> 01:11:42,297
That's not the right holster for that blaster rifle!
1325
01:11:57,372 --> 01:12:00,408
I think I know where we went wrong.
1326
01:12:11,977 --> 01:12:13,347
Right, what's the plan?
1327
01:12:13,530 --> 01:12:18,050
Well, the good thing about my betrayal was I was able to find out where they're keeping Marian and the Game Child.
1328
01:12:18,057 --> 01:12:18,726
Excellent!
1329
01:12:18,726 --> 01:12:22,100
All we have to do is hack into their computer system and override their security.
1330
01:12:23,048 --> 01:12:24,550
Which you should be able to do in no time at all.
1331
01:12:24,938 --> 01:12:27,494
Thanks, Geoff, but I'm sure you can handle this.
1332
01:12:29,548 --> 01:12:30,379
Thanks, Stuart.
1333
01:12:30,680 --> 01:12:33,317
Well, it's time to do some serious hacking!
1334
01:13:11,591 --> 01:13:13,128
Good work, Geoff, good work.
1335
01:13:13,482 --> 01:13:14,685
Uhh... Thanks...
1336
01:13:15,585 --> 01:13:16,792
There they are, level B.
1337
01:13:17,358 --> 01:13:18,556
This way.
1338
01:13:36,968 --> 01:13:38,448
Twenty years! Twenty years!
1339
01:13:38,893 --> 01:13:39,733
That's where we need to go.
1340
01:13:40,729 --> 01:13:41,768
But wait a second...
1341
01:13:42,074 --> 01:13:44,055
That's the guy they replaced me with.
1342
01:13:44,654 --> 01:13:45,738
That's Chef Brilliance!
1343
01:13:46,674 --> 01:13:48,754
But it looks like he's been booted down to security.
1344
01:13:49,393 --> 01:13:50,207
Well that must make you happy.
1345
01:13:51,735 --> 01:13:53,702
You know what? It doesn't.
1346
01:13:55,046 --> 01:13:56,724
I'll create a distraction and draw him away from the door.
1347
01:13:57,200 --> 01:13:59,339
No, don't worry about that. We'll work something out together.
1348
01:14:00,304 --> 01:14:03,213
It's alright, Stuart. I want to do this.
1349
01:14:03,636 --> 01:14:06,859
... women. Baguette cars! Living the high life! I was living the dream!
1350
01:14:08,576 --> 01:14:11,182
Bloody security duty! If my mother could see me now...
1351
01:14:11,182 --> 01:14:15,201
Oi!
1352
01:14:47,645 --> 01:14:49,890
Ashens... With an "S"...
1353
01:14:51,013 --> 01:14:53,397
Aren't you tired of losing to me?!
1354
01:14:53,880 --> 01:14:55,369
Even I'm bored of it!
1355
01:14:56,208 --> 01:14:57,613
You're not going to win this time!
1356
01:14:58,389 --> 01:14:59,302
You're old.
1357
01:14:59,945 --> 01:15:02,821
A Relic of a bygone era.
1358
01:15:03,334 --> 01:15:07,271
I am the better man in every way.
1359
01:15:08,521 --> 01:15:09,287
You're just an-
1360
01:15:09,287 --> 01:15:09,873
Ow!
1361
01:15:12,554 --> 01:15:13,357
Idiot.
1362
01:15:23,967 --> 01:15:24,628
You!
1363
01:15:25,376 --> 01:15:27,726
Why did you have to come back and take my job?!
1364
01:15:27,947 --> 01:15:29,024
It was my job first!
1365
01:15:29,024 --> 01:15:29,751
You were gone!
1366
01:15:30,257 --> 01:15:32,080
It was mine! Mine! Mine!!!
1367
01:15:35,869 --> 01:15:39,379
Oh, Marian, I am so sorry about this!
1368
01:15:40,598 --> 01:15:41,297
Alright there?
1369
01:15:41,297 --> 01:15:44,514
It's fine! Just bloody hurry up before they come back!
1370
01:15:44,963 --> 01:15:46,802
Alright, I've never actually done this before.
1371
01:15:47,743 --> 01:15:49,218
I met your ex-girlfriend.
1372
01:15:49,540 --> 01:15:52,112
So that's the type you go for, is it? Completely mental?
1373
01:15:52,555 --> 01:15:53,656
It was a long time ago!
1374
01:15:54,463 --> 01:15:55,683
I'm going to have to cut this. Hold still.
1375
01:15:55,683 --> 01:15:56,103
Quick!
1376
01:15:58,836 --> 01:15:59,760
Yep, it's going.
1377
01:16:00,208 --> 01:16:00,911
Stewie.
1378
01:16:02,069 --> 01:16:04,401
Step away from your little girlfriend.
1379
01:16:07,578 --> 01:16:09,687
Uh-uh! Back up!
1380
01:16:10,882 --> 01:16:11,943
No misbehaving now.
1381
01:16:12,701 --> 01:16:13,589
Stuart!
1382
01:16:36,533 --> 01:16:38,574
I know I haven't been very nice to you, Stuart,
1383
01:16:38,636 --> 01:16:40,126
but I still need your help.
1384
01:16:40,802 --> 01:16:45,004
It seems that Game Child is encrypted, and I really need access to it.
1385
01:16:45,381 --> 01:16:47,672
What you really need is access to psychiatric help!
1386
01:16:48,360 --> 01:16:49,638
N-n-no! Don't do that!
1387
01:16:49,969 --> 01:16:53,387
Aww, that's so sweet! Aww...
1388
01:16:53,696 --> 01:16:55,834
I'll give you one minute before I pull the trigger.
1389
01:16:56,334 --> 01:16:57,364
Starting...
1390
01:16:58,614 --> 01:16:59,248
Now.
1391
01:16:59,988 --> 01:17:02,401
This is ridiculous! This thing can't be encrypted!
1392
01:17:02,707 --> 01:17:03,920
But it is...
1393
01:17:16,226 --> 01:17:17,200
You want to do this?
1394
01:17:17,200 --> 01:17:18,058
Bring it on!
1395
01:17:19,610 --> 01:17:22,937
I'm sure you want to know what is so secret about the Game Child.
1396
01:17:23,249 --> 01:17:27,690
It's something so special that even you didn't know.
1397
01:17:27,999 --> 01:17:33,467
When assembled together correctly, the Game Child makes a nuclear bomb!
1398
01:17:33,705 --> 01:17:35,770
Good God! What are you talking about?!
1399
01:17:35,834 --> 01:17:37,327
You're as mental as your father!
1400
01:17:37,327 --> 01:17:38,594
He wasn't mental!
1401
01:17:38,594 --> 01:17:40,542
It was a misdiagnosis!
1402
01:17:41,667 --> 01:17:42,800
45 seconds.
1403
01:17:43,474 --> 01:17:45,126
It was all very Top Secret.
1404
01:17:45,673 --> 01:17:46,999
It was at the end of The Cold War.
1405
01:17:46,999 --> 01:17:50,467
You couldn't walk more than ten feet without tripping over some plutonium!
1406
01:17:51,046 --> 01:17:52,883
A deranged factory worker had the idea.
1407
01:17:52,883 --> 01:17:58,725
To smuggle a simple, yet effective nuclear weapon, in the first shipment of Game Childs.
1408
01:17:59,181 --> 01:18:00,796
That's absolutely ridiculous!
1409
01:18:01,168 --> 01:18:02,222
30 seconds!
1410
01:18:03,053 --> 01:18:07,966
Our company was responsible for the shipment, but Daddy only realised after he shipped the first two hundred.
1411
01:18:08,387 --> 01:18:10,459
He of course, recalled them.
1412
01:18:11,556 --> 01:18:13,610
Daddy always wanted his own nuclear bomb.
1413
01:18:24,746 --> 01:18:27,523
The Crazy Octopus! The Crazy Octopus!
1414
01:18:27,740 --> 01:18:28,724
Argh!
1415
01:18:29,174 --> 01:18:30,606
15 seconds!
1416
01:18:30,954 --> 01:18:32,782
But there was one missing.
1417
01:18:33,138 --> 01:18:35,779
One, with the trigger device, and we couldn't find it.
1418
01:18:36,386 --> 01:18:37,899
Not until I pulled your strings.
1419
01:18:39,818 --> 01:18:40,740
And here we are.
1420
01:18:40,740 --> 01:18:44,745
So what was your plan? Were you going to set it off and hide in a fridge?
1421
01:18:44,945 --> 01:18:46,080
10 seconds!!!
1422
01:18:46,152 --> 01:18:47,255
Hurry, Stuart!
1423
01:18:47,255 --> 01:18:48,663
My finger might slip!!!
1424
01:18:49,120 --> 01:18:51,101
You know, I've always wanted to blow something up.
1425
01:18:51,101 --> 01:18:52,289
I'm not sure what, yet.
1426
01:18:52,690 --> 01:18:55,249
Maybe a pub, or a house full of collectibles!
1427
01:18:57,367 --> 01:18:57,875
Five.
1428
01:18:57,875 --> 01:18:58,195
Four.
1429
01:18:58,195 --> 01:18:58,654
Three.
1430
01:18:58,654 --> 01:18:59,087
Two.
1431
01:18:59,111 --> 01:19:01,163
Hang on! Up Up Down Down Left Right Left Right...
1432
01:19:01,163 --> 01:19:03,508
Got it! Thank you Konami!
1433
01:19:05,879 --> 01:19:07,453
Thank you, Stuart.
1434
01:19:07,894 --> 01:19:10,659
You see? We are good for each other.
1435
01:19:11,133 --> 01:19:13,229
I know how to motivate you.
1436
01:19:14,894 --> 01:19:15,975
Ashens!
1437
01:19:16,519 --> 01:19:18,486
You got lucky this time.
1438
01:19:18,486 --> 01:19:21,003
But don't think that changes anything!
1439
01:19:21,003 --> 01:19:24,805
I am still your superior in every wa-
1440
01:19:24,805 --> 01:19:25,604
Argh!
1441
01:19:27,187 --> 01:19:29,305
I was expecting that, you idiot!
1442
01:19:29,849 --> 01:19:32,163
So you were expecting it, but you didn't get out of the way.
1443
01:19:32,163 --> 01:19:34,148
I like being punched in the face...
1444
01:19:34,539 --> 01:19:36,373
You like being punched in the face?
1445
01:19:37,206 --> 01:19:37,958
Yes...
1446
01:19:39,024 --> 01:19:39,621
No!
1447
01:19:40,202 --> 01:19:41,494
Let's see how you like it!
1448
01:19:45,374 --> 01:19:49,563
There is no defense against The Crane Kick, old man!
1449
01:19:52,933 --> 01:19:54,002
Walk towards me then!
1450
01:19:54,118 --> 01:19:54,709
No.
1451
01:19:54,709 --> 01:19:56,580
It doesn't work unless you're walking towards me.
1452
01:19:56,580 --> 01:19:57,394
I don't care!
1453
01:19:57,394 --> 01:19:57,943
Come on!
1454
01:19:57,943 --> 01:19:58,736
No!
1455
01:19:59,048 --> 01:20:00,344
Ah! I'm getting cramp!
1456
01:20:00,344 --> 01:20:01,027
Good!
1457
01:20:01,283 --> 01:20:05,033
I'm going to switch legs. Don't attack me while I'm changing over.
1458
01:20:06,092 --> 01:20:07,000
Do you promise?
1459
01:20:07,475 --> 01:20:07,940
No.
1460
01:20:08,520 --> 01:20:09,238
Please promise.
1461
01:20:09,607 --> 01:20:10,022
No!
1462
01:20:10,022 --> 01:20:10,826
Pretty Please!
1463
01:20:11,789 --> 01:20:12,876
Okay, fine.
1464
01:20:14,915 --> 01:20:15,982
Argh!
1465
01:20:17,982 --> 01:20:19,593
I should have seen that coming!
1466
01:20:20,068 --> 01:20:21,409
Oh, my balls!!!
1467
01:20:22,104 --> 01:20:24,034
My precious balls!
1468
01:20:25,990 --> 01:20:28,081
You always were a pathetic excuse for a Chef!
1469
01:20:28,081 --> 01:20:29,738
You never did deserve to wear the uniform!
1470
01:20:31,667 --> 01:20:32,572
Aren't you going to fight back?!
1471
01:20:32,572 --> 01:20:34,636
Of course not! I'm a strict pacifist!
1472
01:20:34,636 --> 01:20:38,871
For a true Chef knows that he must never harm another person,
1473
01:20:38,871 --> 01:20:42,162
for even his worst enemy is still a potential customer.
1474
01:20:42,623 --> 01:20:45,157
Hm. I never thought of it like that.
1475
01:20:45,445 --> 01:20:46,228
Argh!
1476
01:20:46,228 --> 01:20:46,985
Argh!
1477
01:20:55,838 --> 01:20:56,673
Stuart...
1478
01:20:57,045 --> 01:20:58,828
I'll have the Game Child now!
1479
01:20:59,719 --> 01:21:02,625
You know, this quest has taught me a lot of things,
1480
01:21:02,784 --> 01:21:06,604
and it's taught me that this is not important.
1481
01:21:08,326 --> 01:21:09,865
Don't make me laugh!
1482
01:21:10,145 --> 01:21:13,217
The Game Child is the only thing that's important to you.
1483
01:21:13,632 --> 01:21:14,382
Maybe once.
1484
01:21:15,890 --> 01:21:17,241
But you're forgetting something.
1485
01:21:17,696 --> 01:21:20,737
You told me that this is special, and of immense value.
1486
01:21:21,491 --> 01:21:23,441
And? Your point is?
1487
01:21:23,842 --> 01:21:26,707
Things of worth, are worthless to me!
1488
01:21:30,774 --> 01:21:31,496
No!
1489
01:21:32,014 --> 01:21:32,569
No!
1490
01:21:32,569 --> 01:21:35,451
No, no, no!
1491
01:21:36,494 --> 01:21:37,616
You ruined it!
1492
01:21:37,916 --> 01:21:39,214
You ruined it all!
1493
01:21:39,826 --> 01:21:40,535
Die!
1494
01:21:43,757 --> 01:21:45,140
Great work, Marian!
1495
01:21:45,745 --> 01:21:48,326
I'm so sorry I got you mixed up in all this.
1496
01:21:48,826 --> 01:21:51,463
Don't apologise! That was amazing!
1497
01:21:52,179 --> 01:21:54,037
I hardly ever get to punch anyone in the library!
1498
01:21:55,916 --> 01:21:56,654
Stuart!
1499
01:21:57,011 --> 01:21:57,778
Everything okay?
1500
01:21:58,153 --> 01:21:58,871
It is now.
1501
01:21:59,543 --> 01:22:00,303
It is now.
1502
01:22:01,564 --> 01:22:04,833
So I guess someone should probably call the police or something.
1503
01:22:05,169 --> 01:22:06,343
Yeah, definitely.
1504
01:22:09,169 --> 01:22:10,193
Oh, I've lost my phone.
1505
01:22:10,301 --> 01:22:11,830
I can't believe it, mine was in my satchel.
1506
01:22:12,521 --> 01:22:14,143
There was a call-box when we came in.
1507
01:22:14,143 --> 01:22:15,898
Just around the corner.
1508
01:22:15,898 --> 01:22:17,219
Has anyone got any change?
1509
01:22:17,980 --> 01:22:18,528
Uh...
1510
01:22:18,998 --> 01:22:20,558
I had some, but I bought some mints.
1511
01:22:20,915 --> 01:22:21,655
Don't look at me, I'm homeless.
1512
01:22:21,655 --> 01:22:22,566
And I dropped the mints.
1513
01:22:22,785 --> 01:22:23,832
Oh, it's 999, it's free!
1514
01:22:24,426 --> 01:22:24,798
Is it?
1515
01:22:24,798 --> 01:22:25,315
Yeah.
1516
01:22:25,706 --> 01:22:26,033
It's not.
1517
01:22:26,033 --> 01:22:27,559
It's only free after 6pm isn't it?
1518
01:22:27,907 --> 01:22:29,090
No, it's always free, it's an emergency!
1519
01:22:29,090 --> 01:22:31,035
No, they charge you, I've been charged for that.
1520
01:22:32,207 --> 01:22:33,386
Oh God, she's waking up. Stamp on her!
1521
01:22:33,416 --> 01:22:34,090
Stamp on her!
1522
01:22:40,049 --> 01:22:41,053
That's him! That's him!
1523
01:22:51,225 --> 01:22:52,604
I never loved you.
1524
01:22:53,278 --> 01:22:54,051
I know.
1525
01:23:02,825 --> 01:23:04,241
So what do we do now?
1526
01:23:04,606 --> 01:23:07,189
Well, isn't it obvious? We're going to have a party!
1527
01:23:07,567 --> 01:23:09,492
No, you know I don't like parties!
1528
01:23:09,522 --> 01:23:10,398
I'm an island!
1529
01:23:10,858 --> 01:23:12,364
Oh, come on, Stuart!
1530
01:23:12,364 --> 01:23:14,626
Haven't you learn anything from this quest?!
1531
01:23:15,093 --> 01:23:17,041
Alright, alright, we're going to have a party.
1532
01:23:17,041 --> 01:23:18,752
Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes!
1533
01:24:03,490 --> 01:24:05,922
Hey guys, I'm Geoff Excellence, and welcome to my channel,
1534
01:24:05,422 --> 01:24:07,339
where we talk about everything that's excellent.
1535
01:24:07,755 --> 01:24:09,082
But you know, it's not just about me.
1536
01:24:09,485 --> 01:24:10,463
I'd love to hear from you guys as well.
1537
01:24:10,463 --> 01:24:12,079
So make sure you leave me a comment below.
1538
01:24:12,222 --> 01:24:13,029
Thumbs up!
1539
01:24:13,452 --> 01:24:14,545
So, yeah, basically that's it!
1540
01:24:14,906 --> 01:24:16,436
You know, I realised I didn't need anybody else.
1541
01:24:16,660 --> 01:24:17,776
I could do it on my own.
1542
01:24:17,776 --> 01:24:18,926
Absolutely amazing.
1543
01:24:19,057 --> 01:24:19,516
Yeah!
1544
01:24:21,002 --> 01:24:22,290
Sorry, what are we looking at exactly?
1545
01:24:22,818 --> 01:24:24,037
That was my YouTube channel.
1546
01:24:24,404 --> 01:24:25,275
Oh... Okay...
1547
01:24:25,275 --> 01:24:26,562
What's YouTube?
1548
01:24:28,239 --> 01:24:28,980
YouTube!
1549
01:24:29,506 --> 01:24:30,760
I'm just asking!
1550
01:24:30,760 --> 01:24:31,737
No... You Tube.
1551
01:24:32,371 --> 01:24:33,411
-Yeah, you're the Tube!
1552
01:24:34,493 --> 01:24:35,836
-Taking the piss out of someone because they didn't understand...
1553
01:24:48,741 --> 01:24:49,711
Richard?
1554
01:24:49,734 --> 01:24:50,404
Hi, Stuart!
1555
01:24:51,715 --> 01:24:52,756
You're not dead are you?
1556
01:24:53,054 --> 01:24:53,991
No, no.
1557
01:24:58,869 --> 01:25:02,004
Ever since you told me about the Game Child, I just had to try it.
1558
01:25:02,561 --> 01:25:03,760
One of the ones full of plutonium?
1559
01:25:03,933 --> 01:25:04,588
Yeah!
1560
01:25:04,588 --> 01:25:06,094
So I called in a favour with MI:6...
1561
01:25:07,190 --> 01:25:09,832
I think I might have radiation poisoning.
1562
01:25:10,660 --> 01:25:12,174
Do you think I could sue someone?
1563
01:25:12,175 --> 01:25:14,401
Maybe... Maybe.
1564
01:25:14,401 --> 01:25:15,556
Yes!
1565
01:25:15,556 --> 01:25:16,709
I'm going to be rich!
1566
01:25:18,544 --> 01:25:19,548
See you back at the party.
1567
01:25:26,458 --> 01:25:27,309
Stuart!
1568
01:25:28,093 --> 01:25:29,436
Come back to the party!
1569
01:25:41,777 --> 01:25:46,176
[Subtitles by Aran Fielder Subtitles LTD.]
[goesaroundandaround@gmail.com]
1570
01:25:59,646 --> 01:26:01,758
I am not supposed to be in here!
1571
01:26:04,446 --> 01:26:05,987
Don't you people know who I am?!
1572
01:26:07,237 --> 01:26:09,593
I am a master criminal!
1573
01:26:10,887 --> 01:26:13,443
Why have you put me in here with these plebs?!
1574
01:26:15,048 --> 01:26:16,546
What are you looking at?!
1575
01:26:18,462 --> 01:26:21,495
And why do you have a hat on indoors?!
1576
01:26:21,599 --> 01:26:23,089
Don't you know how hot it is?!
1577
01:26:23,356 --> 01:26:25,009
You complete n00b!
1578
01:26:26,492 --> 01:26:30,600
And you think that tough guy beard makes you look tough?!
1579
01:26:32,488 --> 01:26:33,474
You are both,
1580
01:26:34,226 --> 01:26:35,318
complete,
1581
01:26:35,963 --> 01:26:37,061
IDIOTS!
1582
01:26:38,840 --> 01:26:39,866
Oh, okay.
1583
01:26:40,397 --> 01:26:41,454
You're going to beat me up.
1584
01:26:41,742 --> 01:26:43,182
That old jail clich๏ฟฝ!
1585
01:26:44,370 --> 01:26:45,961
Okay, yep, this is happening.
1586
01:26:46,912 --> 01:26:48,963
Okay. I'm not scared.
1587
01:26:49,759 --> 01:26:50,808
Ow! That didn't hurt!
1588
01:26:51,280 --> 01:26:52,005
That didn't hurt either!
1589
01:26:52,452 --> 01:26:53,389
Argh!
1590
01:26:55,001 --> 01:26:56,482
You just broke my pelvis!
1591
01:26:57,165 --> 01:26:58,739
Ah! My sweet pelvis!
1592
01:27:08,328 --> 01:27:15,043
# But where will this lead in the end? For no man is an island of tat.
1593
01:27:15,672 --> 01:27:21,185
# Perhaps what you need is a friend, can you imagine that?
1594
01:27:23,136 --> 01:27:30,249
# Your mission's about to begin, if you don't lose then you might just win.
1595
01:27:31,349 --> 01:27:36,052
# We're routing for you, you odd little bearded prat!
1596
01:27:39,326 --> 01:27:42,469
# Terrible hardware from years gone by,
1597
01:27:42,935 --> 01:27:45,694
# Worthless old relics you claim.
1598
01:27:46,658 --> 01:27:50,107
# There's one left to get now, don't give in and cry.
1599
01:27:50,504 --> 01:27:52,974
# You said that adventure's your game.
1600
01:27:53,608 --> 01:28:00,316
# Oh, but Ashens, is your actual name.
1601
01:28:01,562 --> 01:28:03,730
# Or is it Ashen?
1602
01:28:04,749 --> 01:28:07,682
# Why the extra 'S', Ashens?
1603
01:28:08,602 --> 01:28:10,859
# I'm confused about the 'S'...
1604
01:28:26,027 --> 01:28:31,270
"My Daddy, he likes to blow up the world. What does your daddy like to do?"
1605
01:28:31,708 --> 01:28:37,332
"Well, my name is Ashens, and I collect tat!"
1606
01:28:37,638 --> 01:28:38,851
"Hello!"
1607
01:28:40,376 --> 01:28:43,705
"And maybe, I want a Game Child. Yeah, I do."
1608
01:28:44,374 --> 01:28:45,477
"Hang about, no I don't!"
1609
01:28:45,902 --> 01:28:46,920
You must die!
1610
01:28:47,230 --> 01:28:50,218
Everybody must die!
1611
01:28:50,408 --> 01:28:52,358
Kaboom! Whee!!!
1612
01:28:52,748 --> 01:28:55,106
Everybody dies!
1613
01:28:55,766 --> 01:28:56,897
Calm down now.
1614
01:28:57,367 --> 01:28:59,765
Where are your slippers? Look, your feet will get cold, won't they?
1615
01:29:00,905 --> 01:29:02,436
I don't want my slippers!
1616
01:29:02,660 --> 01:29:04,755
They're full of plutonium!
1617
01:29:05,350 --> 01:29:07,683
Well that will just keep your feet warm, won't it?
1618
01:29:08,148 --> 01:29:09,297
Let's get them on shall we?
1619
01:29:12,092 --> 01:29:13,166
Everybody died!
1620
01:29:13,403 --> 01:29:15,078
I know they did, they all died.
1621
01:29:15,519 --> 01:29:16,212
They went kaboom!
1622
01:29:16,409 --> 01:29:18,985
Yeah, they went kaboom. Let's get you up, shall we?
1623
01:29:19,630 --> 01:29:20,654
There we go.
1624
01:29:21,394 --> 01:29:22,218
One foot in.
1625
01:29:23,695 --> 01:29:24,826
Toasty!
1626
01:29:25,767 --> 01:29:28,492
I like toast. I like eating toast.
1627
01:29:28,890 --> 01:29:29,515
Do you?
1628
01:29:29,515 --> 01:29:30,118
Yeah.
1629
01:29:30,522 --> 01:29:33,770
Nice and toasty, like everybody dying.
1630
01:29:35,152 --> 01:29:36,666
Kaboom.
1631
01:29:39,489 --> 01:29:40,679
Goodbye!
1632
01:29:41,305 --> 01:29:47,760
Best watched using Open Subtitles MKV Player
114415
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Czech
Danish
Dutch
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof