Original subtitles

[ Man Narrating ] America first fell in love

with Eddie Thomas and Gwen Harrison

in the box office smash Autumn With Greg And Peg.

They had the most celebrated marriage in Hollywood.

[ Sighs ]

Who could forget how they hit one out of the park

in Requiem For An Outfielder?

You can't die, Mike. You can't.

Because I love you.

♪♪ [ Theme Swells ]

Justice never tasted so sweet

as in The Bench.

I didn't do it. I'm innocent.

Why won't anyone believe me?

- I object, Your Honor! - You're out of order!

No, you're out of order, sir!

I object to the way my client has been treated.

I object to the fact that I've allowed my professional judgment

to become clouded by my feelings for my client.

I object to the way the room seems to spin whenever she walks into it.

I object, Your Honor, because I love this woman.

Their love opened our eyes

in Sasha And The Optometrist.

Read from the top line, Sasha.

I L...

O V E...

Y O--

Oh...

- You. - Doctor Martin.

Eddie Thomas and Gwen Harrison,

America's sweethearts.

God, they were great. Made my job cake.

Danny, I did the press for all of their movies.

All nine. Six of them did over a hundred million dollars.

Yep, they were on top of the world.

And then she had to go and blow it by taking up with that Spaniard.

- Did you cut this yourself? - No, Chad in marketing--

Whoa, ho. Always take credit.

That is survival rule number one.

Okay, yes. I did it on my Mac.

Rule number two: Don't take credit until someone actually says they like what you did.

It's not bad.

I hope this isn't too awkward for you, Lee.

- I know I'll never be able to fill your shoes. - Oh, I know.

Kingman's office just called. He's down in the screening room

He wants you to take a look at something right away.

Karen, would you please remind Mr. Kingman that he fired me last week.

And then invite him, at his earliest convenience, to kiss my undercarriage.

I think you'll want to see this, Lee.

[ Squeaking ]

Hello, Dave.

Lee. Thank you for coming.

Why am I here? No, I'm-I'm just confused.

I mean, after all, you did fire me last week so, why-why am I here?

I brought you here to see the new Hal Weidmann film.

Really?

Eddie and Gwen's last movie. You know their movies better than anybody.

Have you seen it? All of it?

Yeah. Mm-hmm.

How is it?

Would you roll that please?

I want you to be the first to see what only I have seen. As a friend.

[ Beep ]

♪♪ [ Orchestral Fanfare ]

♪♪ [ Crescendos ]

♪♪ [ Slowing, Stopping ]

Is something wrong?

Did the film break? No.

The film's fine. At least I think the film is fine, wherever it is.

I spent $86 million

of the studio's money

on 20 seconds of titles.

Oh.

That's all he sent me.

The titles!

And a note.

"Dave, we can also do these in blue."

[ Grunts ] We had to make a Hal Weidmann picture!

The man's won three Oscars. He's a genius.

No! There's only been one genius in this business and that was Senor Wences!

A little lipstick, some hair and his hand!

And the guy had a career for 85 years! Do you remember? Huh?

[ Imitating Character's Squeaks ] All right? All right?

Don't talk to me about genius.

- Do you remember the crazy guy in the woods? - Ted Kaczynski.

- Who, the guy at Fox? - The Unabomber.

Yeah, the Unabomber, okay?

Remember how he lived in that little cabin?

So?

Hal Weidmann bought that cabin from the government

and had it moved onto his property.

[ Phone Rings ]

That is where he edits his movies.

That is his little, twisted, sicko office.

It's him. On the phone.

- Who? - Hal.

I'm gonna kill him! That sick, son-of-a-bitch bastard.

Put him on the speaker. Hi, Hal.

[ Kingman ] How are you, darling?

I've been thinking about you 'cause I wanted to-to-to send you a basket or something.

- How's the movie? - It's finding its way.

Well, could it find its way to the studio?

Because we have a few little things to do with it, like finish it. [ Laughs ]

- It's finished, Dave. - Oh. Great.

- How is it? - My mother thinks it's the best thing I've ever done.

- Can I speak with her? - No, Dave.

- Can we send someone to pick it up, Hal? - No, Dave.

You haven't said anything yet about the titles.

Oh. Oh, I love them. I have no notes.

- When's the press junket? - The weekend of the 21st. Why?

'Cause I want the press to be the first to see it.

- Uh no. - I'll bring it to the junket. We'll experience it together.

No. Hal, no, no, no. No. No.

I'm the head of the studio. I don't experience things with the press.

- I'm hangin' up now, Dave. - Wait. No, Hal, wait!

Hello, Hal? No. No. Hal--

God-- damn it!

[ Grunting ]

He's not gonna let us see the movie until the press sees it.

At the junket.

Yes! At the junket.

No. No.

Lee. Lee. You've got to do this junket for me.

You want me to set up a junket in two weeks and you're not even sure if you have the film.

Yes.

No!

Lee!

Lee! Lee! Don't make me beg.

You already are.

Lee, please. Please, come on, Lee.

Danny can handle it.

No. Lee, no. Danny cannot handle it.

It's his first junket. He can't handle it. I need the master.

When it comes to putting together a junket and working with the press, you're a legend.

I prefer to remain a living legend.

All right, look. If you won't do it for me, do it for my father, okay?

You guys worked together a long time. You had a real bond.

Your father was a psychotic.

You spoke at his funeral.

I loved him. You I can't stand.

Lee, please, you've gotta do this for me. Please.

The studio's gonna go under. I haven't had a hit in almost two years.

And I have what may be the last Eddie and Gwen movie ever made.

And I cannot get my hands on it!

All right. Tell me what you want, and I'll tell you what I want.

I want only one thing: If people think Eddie and Gwen

are back together again, they will go see this movie.

I need you to make that happen.

Oh, that'll be easy.

No. Well, look, just make it look like maybe it could happen.

Dave, she has a restraining order against him, and he flipped out. He's nuts.

He's living in some nut hut in the mountains.

So what? I don't care. I need Eddie and Gwen back together again.

Smiling and happy.

We can sell the shit outta that, Lee.

What about the Spaniard?

Unless I get a script called I Schtupped Castro,

I don't know what to do with him.

- So what do you want? - I want the golf cart.

No, that was a gift from Arnold, so--

I'm kidding.

Oh, okay.

I can have anything.

Yeah. Any-- Within reason, yeah.

I want my job back.

Lee, don't do this, please.

Listen, have a great junket. Drop me a line. Let me know how it went.

All right, Lee. Yes.

If you get Eddie and Gwen back together again,

you can have your job back.

- Where are we booked? - Four Seasons, Beverly Hills.

Cancel. We need to get these people out in the middle of nowhere.

Once they find out there's no movie, they can't escape.

We need to find a hotel like the one in The Shining. You know, isolated.

Well, what about the new Hyatt in Nevada? It's in the desert and it's just opening.

Book it. Now we have to keep the press entertained and on the go.

The best junkets are where the press thinks it's not about the movie, but about them.

So we have to program the shit outta them.

Cocktail parties, hay rides, circle jerks. Whatever you have to do

to keep them from remembering they haven't seen the movie they're there to review.

- What are we doing for gifts? - Oh, well, the movie's about a cop who travels through time.

So I did a gun.

You're gonna give members of the press a gun?

Well, no, it's not real--

No, we'll do a really nice bag. Call Sol, the bag man.

Diamond earrings for the ladies, money clips for the men. Chocolate truffles, perfume.

Listen, Danny, I don't want this to be awkward for you, but I've got some work to do.

Well, how are you gonna get Eddie and Gwen there?

Don't worry. I know somebody.

Lee, you know I love you. You know I'd do anything for you.

You're just asking an awful lot.

Well, a press junket with Eddie isn't high on Gwen's list of priorities.

Oh, no lilies, honey. Take them out.

Yes, I understand.

Yes. Oh, excuse me. Hold on. Could you please put that out? Please, please, please.

This will be perfect for Gwen.

Yes. Absolutely.

She'd love it.

I can't accept unsolicited material. I'm so sorry.

I'm just warning you it's going to be a bit of a fight. That's all I'm saying.

I'll do what I can. Okay. God help us.

[ Man ] Okay, the interview's over. We're in commercial break.

When we come back, you know the scenario.

[ Woman ] Yeah. I've been here before, Larry.

We'll take calls, you look right at that camera.

For sure.

Like you're talking right to the caller.

Right down the tube.

Okay, five seconds. [ Bell Rings ]

Okay, let's go to phone calls now on Larry King Live.

White Plains, you're on the air with Gwen Harrison.

[ Woman ] Hi, Larry.

Uh, Gwen, um, hi. I used to be a big fan.

But, I'm sorry, I can't get over what happened with you and Eddie.

I am so sick over it.

- I can't sleep at night. How can you? - Well, um-um--

Well, you do sleep next to a very handsome young Spanish gentleman, do you not?

Let's go to our next call. Rock Island, Illinois. Hello.

[ Woman ] Hi, Larry. Gwen, I saw your latest movie.

Thank you.

I just couldn't sit through it.

I can't watch you without Eddie. It's just not the same.

This has to be very hard to hear, Gwen.

Your last two movies, the ones you did without Eddie,

they crashed and burned at the box office.

Well, uh, they were very big in Europe, Larry,

and huge in Japan, actually.

Still, it's gotta be tough. Two unsuccessful movies in a row.

Lots of intrigue, lots of whispers, lots of talk.

What happens if this one tanks?

I hate Larry King. I hate him.

Oh, honey.

Why did I do his stupid show?

Just breathe.

I don't wanna breathe.

"Your last two movies crashed and burned."

Just wanted to reach over and choke him to death with those stupid suspenders.

Gwen.

Everyone hates me.

No. No one hates you.

Yes, they do.

And, you know, the lighting was great. You looked great. Everybody said so.

Who?

[ Woman ] You looked great.

See? See? Oh, thanks.

As if she really knows.

Just have a sip of water. Make you feel better.

Is this the one with the electrolytes? I only like the water with the electrolytes.

Yes.

Larry said you were amazing.

Thank you. I love Larry.

Yeah. Let's love him down the dressing room.

- Black or white? - White!

And those glasses.

Who wears frames that big anymore? He looks like a bug.

[ Grunts ] I just want this week to be over.

Why can't the world accept the fact that I don't want to be with Eddie anymore?

I just wanna scream at people, "Get a life!"

[ Sighs ] I want this week to be over. Is it over?

- Almost. Push. - [ Grunts ]

- Ow! Kiki. - I'm sorry.

I smell smoke. Is somebody smoking?

I don't know.

It's probably Larry.

I mean, how many heart attacks has that guy had, huh?

Six. Maybe seven. I don't know.

Can we just go? I don't wanna be here anymore.

Those are beautiful. Okay.

Listen, I got a call from Lee today.

Who's Lee?

The publicist from the studio. You remember him.

I do?

Remember when you were doing Letterman,

you got so upset because they bumped your show because of the Gulf War?

Yeah.

He was there. He got you that English toffee.

Oh, I remember the English toffee. That was great toffee.

Okay, we'll get you some of that English toffee

when you meet with him because he wants to talk to you about the junket.

Oh, God. Do I have to?

Meet with him? Yes, you have to.

It's just not fair.

There's all this pressure on me and there's none whatsoever on Eddie, is there?

He's probably off somewhere having the time of his life.

This letter, Edward, is a very important part of the healing process.

By writing to your mother, you afford yourself the opportunity to thank her

or forgive her or to ask her why she did the things she did.

Now, we don't mail the letter, but the simple act of putting it on paper

frees you, allows you to let go.

Now, what did you say to your mother?

[ Sighs ]

"Dear Mom. Fuck you."

Okay. We'll try the letter some other time.

Okay.

Are you comfortable now about speaking about Gwen?

Do you think I should?

There is no "should."

Do you think I can?

What is "can"?

All right.

There's this place in Chinatown.

A tiny little place.

We used to go there and they wouldn't bother us.

We'd order wonton soup and crumpled duck

and just sit there for hours talking.

She took him there.

[ Shudders ]

She took him to our crumpled duck.

[ Gasps ]

And I followed them and I saw him pouring the soup and smiling.

[ Engine Revving ]

Aah!

[ Engine Revving, Tires Squealing ]

It was a total accident.

Next thing I know, she's crying to the press that I tried to kill her, which is crazy.

I mean, she just loves to overreact.

Hmph.

We have a saying, Edward.

"Mecka lecka halava beem sala beem."

What is that? Bean salad? Wha--

"Mecka lecka salava beem sala beem."

What does that mean? [ Sighs ]

I don't know what it means. It's very old.

Oh.

I feel like I'm making progress. I feel more secure.

A lot more secure. Do I seem more secure?

[ Lee ] You look great, kid. Whatever the doctors are doing to you, it's working.

You've got color in your face and in your lower neck. I mean, I'm in love.

Yeah, they say two weeks here changes your entire life.

Really?

When is the two weeks up?

About six and a half months ago.

But I feel like I'm getting close to something.

Hey, I can see that.

You didn't happen to see Larry King last night did you?

No, I was in the isolation tank. They don't have a television in there.

The reason I bring it up is, uh,

- Gwen was on. - Hmm. Gwen.

- Yeah, she took kind of a beating. - She did, did she?

You, young lady, are nobody without Eddie.

Nobody likes you!

Never, never go anywhere without Eddie!

You're nothing. You're nothing You're nothing.

You're nothing! Get her outta here! Get her out now!

- Nothing! - I'm so sorry, Larry. [ Echoing ]

Well, I guess she got what she deserved.

What are you doing here? This isn't you. Come on.

Kiss Gandhi good-bye and let's get ready for the junket.

I'm not going to the junket, Lee. Look at me. I'm not ready.

The studio needs you there. The movie needs you.

I don't care about the studio or the movie.

How is it? Is it good?

I've only seen the beginning.

But I gotta tell you, it's fantastic.

Yeah?

It's fantastic. Hold the movie up to your ear and you're screaming "Oscar."

I'm telling you. No. No. I'm not going.

Gwen's gonna be there.

- You wanna see her, don't you? - No. It's too soon.

Eddie, it's a year and a half. You gotta confront her.

Get it over with. She fell in love with another guy.

All right? It happens. Well, it never happened to me.

But if it did, I wouldn't spend the rest of my life hiding like some pussy!

I'm not a pussy, all right? And I'm in the middle of my treatment here.

This is serious stuff. My wellness guide's not gonna let me just go.

You can go.

Are you sure?

You said I was the flower that fell into the stream, but the branch is blocking my way.

I didn't know what that meant. Are you taking it back?

Don't listen to my words, listen to your own heart.

I feel like the flower. I don't wanna go.

You're a funny man.

We will miss you here. Don't forget to be grateful.

Okay, I'm grateful. I'm grateful for the sun.

I'm grateful for the stars in the sky.

And I'd be grateful if we could get going.

Okay. Okay.

Eddie, why don't you wait in the car?

The car? Okay.

Right there. Okay?

I am the flower.

I'm the flower.

- He kills me with his humor. - Does he?

Yes. [ Chuckling ]

Listen, chief, I wanna thank you for all your help.

And, uh, you'll get the car within ten days.

Convertible.

Convertible, leather interior, fully loaded. You'll enjoy it.

He's gonna get through this thing okay, isn't he?

Life is a cookie. [ Inhales ]

I'm gonna take that as a "yes."

Okay. All right.

Come on, Eddie!

All right, buddy. Ready to go?

Yeah. Here we go.

Yeah.

Does Gwen know I'm coming to the junket?

It was her idea.

- No, it wasn't. - Absolutely. She's really excited.

Not in a million years.

If that demented pig is gonna be there, no way.

Gwen--

Eddie was just temporarily insane.

Don't stick up for him.

Kiki, look at you.

Hi, Lee.

Oh, how are you?

Good.

You look fabulous.

Thank you.

- Look at you. What is it? - It's my hair.

- And, uh, I have a little sun. - She lost sixty pounds.

And-And-And I lost some weight.

Yes, I see that, yeah. You look terrific.

Thank you.

Sixty pounds, huh? Yeah.

- That's a Backstreet Boy. - Right.

- Were you here to talk to me? - Yeah, well, of course. I'm sorry. I mean--

Listen, Eddie is not demented. This is a one-time incident.

- This is a forgive and forget kind of thing. - He tried to kill me, Lee.

Am I the only person who remembers that?

Attempted murder doesn't get people's attention anymore?

[ Dog Barking ]

You know, he was just so in love with you that he flipped out.

You know that you have this powerful effect on people.

[ Gwen ] It's true. Are you sticking up for him again?

[ Kiki ] Him? Whose side am I on, Gwen?

Gwen, your dog just swallowed your window washer.

[ Chuckling ] Mm, puppy.

- Your puppy's a raptor. - Time for Prozac. Excuse me.

She's on Prozac?

If only. The dog.

Oh, the dog. Well, hey, that's not a bad thing.

- Hi, baby. - Hi, honey.

[ Spanish Accent ] Here comes your sweaty, big man.

Oh. Mm, you're sweaty.

Who is this?

Hi, Hector. I'm Lee Phillips. I'm the press agent for Time Over Time.

Just in case you thought I was some guy coming to sweep her off her feet.

No, no. You're too old.

Oh!

Hector, honey, be good.

- I'm sorry, Lee, he's Spanish. - No problem.

I was Spanish once myself.

Oh, I need kisses.

Oh, honey. [ Moaning, Kissing ]

Oh, there you go.

Oh, jes. Oh, jes.

For why is he here now?

He wants me to go to the junket for the movie.

Uh-huh.

We could do that. When is it?

Actually, uh, Hector, we won't be taking up any of your valuable time.

- What? I'm not invited to the honket? - It's the studio's decision.

Hey, what do I care what the studio thinks? I don't give a shit, okay?

I go where Gwen goes. I'm with Gwen now. We're a couple.

So we're gonna go to the honket together. Okay?

Okay.

Ay, yi, yi, you're so beautiful.

I love you so much. I want to marry you and make something with both of our skins.

We're not going, Hector. Eddie's gonna be there.

We're not gonna go to our honket because of him? Listen to me, we're going to go.

And I'm going to personally protect you, in case that psychotic asshole bastard

tries to kill you again, God forbid.

We're not going.

Don't argue with me. We're gonna go.

Everybody wants me to go to this stupid junket, but nobody cares what I want!

That's not true. Nobody cares!

Honey.

Don't you know the stress I'm under?

Everybody hates me. Everyone wants a piece of me.

My therapist is out of the country, I wasn't nominated for a Golden Globe this year!

Leave me alone.

Bastards.

Are you pleased with yourself?

I can't even enjoy my shower now.

Mr. Publicist, piece of shit.

Gwen is totally nuts.

Cleared the room. Well done.

Yeah. Would you talk to your sister? You're the only one she'll pretend to listen to.

[ Grunts ] Where is she?

Grazing.

[ Growling ]

- Hi. - [ Continues Growling ]

Nazi bastard. I was just kidding.

[ Growling Intensifies ]

You really need to go to this junket.

No.

Why not?

I'm afraid.

Of?

That I'll see Eddie and he'll be this destroyed, pathetic mess,

and I'll feel guilty, and I'm tired of feeling guilty, Keek.

I really am.

I know.

I'm always thinking about other people.

I know you are.

It's awful when you're the only person who cares about other people's feelings.

If they see Eddie, and he's down and depressed, they're gonna pity him and blame me.

So what you're really worried about is you.

Of course. Does everyone hate me, Kiki?

No one hates you.

Oh, yes, they do. I was in the store the other day. That great store on Melrose?

And there was a baby in a stroller looking up at me

and he was judging me.

The whole world is judging me for what I did to Eddie.

Look, I'll admit the, uh,

the Miss Adorable image has been somewhat called into question by recent events,

but that's just one more reason to go to the junket.

You smile nice with Eddie for the weekend and win back some audience goodwill.

You think it would help?

Yes, I do.

I guess I could give Eddie the divorce papers.

That's a plus.

If you're sure you're ready to do that.

Kiki, I'm sure.

- Why are you still questioning me about this? - Because it's Eddie.

Eddie, who'd sing "Yellow Submarine" at the top of his lungs just to make you laugh.

Eddie, who'd save the mango in his fruit salad for you. Eddie.

Exactly, Eddie. You're just a romantic, Kiki.

You don't know anything about married life.

Well, ya got me there.

I won't be able to get through this on my own.

Can you help me?

I'll help you.

[ Dog Barking ]

[ Barks ]

Hey!

Come on. These are new pants.

Good dog. Hey, get the paper.

[ Growling ]

Come on. Come on.

Please. Come on.

- Help. - Don't let me interrupt.

- What happened? - Well, I'm going to go pack her things

because we're going to a junket.

Really? Great! You're a great sister.

I'm a great assistant.

To the left. Yeah.

♪ Well, they fly past the ghettos and the factories ♪

♪ Ridin' on the gravy train ♪

♪ All of the places that they really oughta be ♪

♪ Ridin' on the gravy train ♪

♪ Past the coal mines Black and scarred ♪

♪ Starter houses in the loading yards ♪

♪ On the gravy train ♪

♪ On the gravy train ♪

♪ There's the lucky little mothers in their luxury car ♪

♪ Ridin' on the gravy train ♪

♪ Never thank each other or their lucky stars ♪

♪ Ridin' on the gravy train ♪

♪ That's worse than ingratitude ♪

♪ Worse than a piss-poor attitude ♪

♪ On the gravy train ♪

♪ On the gravy train ♪

♪ Ah, yeah ♪♪

- There are herbal medications. - Okay.

You probably read in People magazine that I've been on Zoloft, but this is holistic.

- Sure got a lot of it. - Could you just watch the road, please?

[ Man, Radio Static ] Bobby?

[ Driver ] Yeah?

He wants you to pull over.

Here?

- This is Kishtonga root. - Yeah, okay.

- Why are we stopping? - I'm just doing what I'm told, Mr. Thomas.

- So, uh, how you doin'? - I'm fine. I'm great. What have you heard?

If my lady walked out on me for some other guy,

I'd have a gun down my throat.

I'd get drunk off my ass,

then go lay down on the tracks and wait for a train to finish me off.

Could we just please not talk about that?

Hey, you know something? People say I look like you.

It's not that I, you know, look like you, but it's, like, I project you.

You know, like I project the essence of you, like a you-ness.

- Can you put that partition up? - Yes, sir, Mr. Thomas.

Hey, how you doin', pal? How's it goin'?

Great, great. I was just gettin' a little pep talk from my driver.

Oh. Listen. I have to orchestrate the arrival at the hotel.

Do you want to pull up first or do you want Gwen to?

Hey, where did you come from, man?

Here.

I'm riding with, uh, with Gwen.

Gwen's back there?

Yes.

She is?

Yes.

So do you want to arrive first or second?

Second.

I'll be right back.

- He wants to go second. - Let him go second.

- He can go second. - Great.

No, wait a minute. He should go first.

Why?

I don't want to look like his opening act.

I wanna go second.

- She wants to go second. - Second it is.

- She wants to go second. - Fine.

Let her come second. I don't care. Let her come behind me.

- That way, she'll see the knife she stuck in my back. - Thank you.

- Okay. - Great. Second? We're all set.

Great.

[ Gwen ] Who cares?

She doesn't care.

Yes, I do. I'm going first.

I don't care. I don't care. Why is this an issue?

I'm just trying to facilitate the arr--

- Can we just get to the hotel? - You're going second.

- I don't care. I don't care! - Okay. All right, Eddie.

I don't care! I don't care!

You're going second.

Eddie? You're going second.

I don't care.

Okay. Thank you.

Well, that was easy.

I don't know why we have to go second.

Just drive the car!

I'm grateful for the sun. I'm grateful for the moon.

I'm grateful for the cool--

cool night breeze.

♪ Raven hair ♪

- [ Chattering ] - This is certainly a happy night for Eddie and Gwen fans.

It's been over a year since America's sweethearts went bust in dramatic fashion.

- ♪ Echoed voices in the night ♪ - And here they come now.

Hi, Gwen. You look wonderful tonight.

Step back, please.

♪ She's a restless spirit on an endless flight ♪

That's it.

♪ Whoo-hoo Witchy woman ♪

♪ See how high she flies ♪

♪ Whoo-hoo, witchy woman ♪

[ Man ] Hey, who's the better lover?

♪ She got the moon in her eyes ♪♪

Okay, right this way.

Okay, Eddie, here we go.

Eddie, you're looking great.

Thank you. I feel pretty good.

What's it like working with Gwen?

Uh, I can't remember.

Eddie, that was so good. It was just great. That had to feel good, huh?

It was good that we went second. See? I told ya.

You walked in, everybody loved you.

W-W-What is all this?

Serenity tea from the wellness center.

I don't know what's in it, but it gets me really calm, really focused.

- Aah! - [ Pot Crashing ]

Lee! I can't do this!

[ Sighs ]

I told you this was a mistake.

She's very close, isn't she? She's in the next room. I can feel her.

No. She's in a cottage in the back of the property.

I sensed that. She's close. Real close.

No. She's not.

The cottages are way back on the property. Way back.

It's just so shocking.

You're with somebody and you think you're gonna spend the rest of your life with them.

Then suddenly-- She gets a cottage and I get this shitty little suite?

She has an entourage. What about me?

You have an entourage?

I'm a paranoid schizophrenic. I am my own entourage.

You know what? Let me move you.

No, no. It's not important.

I'm grateful. I'm grateful for this suite. I'm grateful for the mini bar.

Cottages are probably small anyway.

Well, no, actually they're--

Tiny.

Small?

[ Scoffing ] It's ridiculous.

Good.

Should I get some room service? We'll just--

No.

I'm gonna take some herbs, numb out, have a shower and go to bed by myself.

You've been fabulous today.

What did I do?

You showed up. That's enough for me.

Okay.

Get some rest. I don't want you puffy.

Thank you. Okay.

Hup! [ Dog Barking ]

[ Grunts ] Oh!

[ Groaning ]

Oh, no.

[ Grunting ]

[ Gasping ]

Jesus. Oh.

[ Eddie Moaning ]

Hey, Steve.

I think we got a guy whackin' it down near cottage number four.

Oh, that's-- Aw. That's disgusting.

I don't wanna deal with this now.

Man, every time I get this shift, there's always some sicko like this.

It's, like, I can't even catch a break around here.

[ Siren Wailing ]

Look, sir, I'm sure that things are different in Los Angeles,

but here in Nevada, masturbating in public is a punishable offense.

Excuse me, I have spent time in Las Vegas--

I was not!

We saw you on our cameras, Mr. Thomas.

- I was pulling out the pricker. - Hey! Eddie. Come on.

I'm tryin' to put out a fire.

I fell into a cactus!

He fell into a cactus. That's it. Come on.

Jesus.

So unless you're in the habit of arresting people for bumping into succulents,

I suggest we go our separate ways, okay, guys?

- We still have to fill out a report, Mr. Phillips-- - No.

Listen. I'm not supposed to do this, but

I happen to have some really beautiful bags that are exclusive for the press here.

Do you have girlfriends, wives, anything?

'Cause we have earrings. Real diamonds. Beautiful. Very tasty. Very delicate.

- I saw the bags. They're nice. - Very nice. Highest quality.

[ Lee ] Mm-hmm.

-We don't have to file a report. -Because I didn't do anything, you morons!

[ Laughing ]

[ Whispering ] Diet pills. Usually, he's like a pussycat.

- All right. - All right? Okay.

All right.

Thank you, guys. All right.

[ Chuckles ] Oh, fellas, one other thing.

I'm gonna need the tape from the security camera

just in case something gets out, all right?

Okay.

Danny's gonna go with you and get the tape, all right?

Uh--

Oh.

Okay. Thank you, fellas. Appreciate it a lot.

Rent-a-cops got me on the edge. I could go either way.

All right, Eddie, what were you doin' there?

I just wanted to look at her again, you know?

I saw her standin' by the pool and she looked so fantastic

and I just miss her.

No, no, no, no, no. Don't give me that look.

That look means trouble.

Listen. Calm down. Let's go to your room,

put you to bed and stay out of trouble, okay?

I wasn't getting in trouble or even the--

No, no, no. You're just...

I guess that's trouble.

whackin' off on a cactus.

I wasn't doing that.

Please.

[ Man ] This just in. It looks as if Eddie Thomas

Shh.

may have to change his middle name to "Peeping"

after an incident tonight at the Hyatt Resort.

Now this tape from the hotel security cameras

clearly shows Thomas, in the words of one hotel security guard,

[ Gasping ] "doing himself a big favor"

[ Moaning ]

outside the cottage where the actor's estranged wife is staying.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

[ Eddie Moaning ]

Thomas and company are in town attending a press junket

for the long-awaited new Eddie and Gwen movie.

And sources tell us this latest incident comes as no surprise,

given Thomas' delicate mental state since his split with wife and costar Harrison.

Any idea what this movie is about, Charlie?

Haven't heard yet, but by the looks of it, Sean,

we're lookin' at a remake of Cool Hand Luke.

It was on the news, Lee.

He was outside my cottage doing something not good.

[ Lee ] Gwen, everybody does it.

I know everyone does it. That's not the point.

[ Barking ]

[ Sighs ]

What is going on, Lee?

Is he trying to kill me again?

Well, given the weapon he had in his hand, I tend to doubt it.

Relax. We're at a Hyatt. People don't kill people at a Hyatt.

Other chains, yes. But the Hyatt, no.

Gwen, get some rest.

Somebody has to be beautiful tomorrow, and I think that somebody is you.

I know.

Listen. I have to go.

[ Phone Rings ] Good night.

Lee.

Eddie, I am so pissed off. I have the tape right here. They must have had another copy.

Bastards. Yeah, well, you know, everybody's got a price, kid.

[ Knock On Door ]

You know-- Hold on a second. It's room service.

Hold on.

Shh.

Eddie, hi. No, no, it's just-- Yeah.

Yeah, put it over there. Is-- That is beluga, right?

Yeah. Eddie, we're fine.

No, it's all local. Nothing national.

Plus, they're gonna issue a retraction tomorrow.

Yeah, you're fine. Really, there's no damage.

I'm telling you it's just a little blip.

Plus, it's what you said. It's in the past.

The beach grass grows towards the sun

in this universe that you're grateful for.

You know? Get some rest.

Because somebody has to look handsome tomorrow, and I think that somebody is you.

Okay, Mr. Big Time? I'll see you in the morning.

- You like Eddie, don't you? - I love him.

But you leaked the tape.

Survival rule number three, kid.

You're not here to love anybody. You're here to promote a movie.

That's it. Period.

So you're here and you get word that your mother died.

You know, like, hit by a bus or something.

You go downstairs, you shed a tear and you say,

"It's a shame. She would've loved this movie."

I have to talk to Eddie. I'm worried about him.

Okay, you go talk to him.

No, no, you gotta go get him for me.

Me? [ Whimpering ]

Yes. I have to talk to him tonight.

Otherwise I'll be up all night and then I'll look terrible in the morning.

Really, really puffy.

I don't-- I don't think, um--

No. I-I can't.

- Why not? - Because I'm sleeping.

And because I just--

I just feel funny getting in the middle of things with the two of you.

Can't you just handle this yourself?

What are you talking about? I don't handle anything myself.

Why are you being so difficult, huh?

I'm not.

I'm only asking for a teensy-weensy favor.

Shh. Shh.

That's all. Please, Kiki.

Please, please, please, please.

Kiki-Kiki-Ki. Please, Kiki-Ki.

[ Mock Whimpering ]

God.

Please.

Okay.

Your pillow's better than mine.

Take it.

[ Knock On Door ]

- Hi. - Hi.

How are you?

Oh, my marriage is shit and I make crappy movies. Otherwise I'm great.

Eddie, I'm sorry.

Why is she doing this?

I don't know. I don't--

Hey. I like your movies.

Oh, they're shit. Come on.

What's goin' on? I mean, did she say anything?

No. I'm-- I'm shocked. What happened?

I really am shocked. I didn't know anything.

I know I'm not perfect, but I thought we had something.

Jesus, she wants me to move out.

I know.

He's gonna be sitting in my chair, watching my flat-screen TV,

walking my dog, sleeping in my bed with my--

It's okay.

I don't know what happened.

Well, it's not you.

You are a great guy, and if she can't see that, she's blind.

You are wonderful.

I don't feel wonderful.

It's gonna be okay.

I don't think so.

But thanks for saying that.

And thanks for coming. You're really sweet.

No, you are.

No, no, no. You are.

You're a good friend.

You're a rock.

Mm.

Hmm.

[ Knock On Door ]

- Hi. - Kiki.

Hey. Come here.

Nice to see you.

You too.

You look good.

Oh, misery agrees with me.

Oh, no.

You look good too.

Thank you.

I mean, you've been getting healthy.

Haven't you, Keek? You lift a little weights or something?

Well, not lifting weights so much as losing weight.

You always looked good.

Thanks.

Come on in. Do you want something to drink?

Oh, no. I'm fine, thank you.

Sit down.

It's been too long since I've seen you. I think the last time was--

That night. I feel terrible about that. That was the low point.

I'd just found out about Hector and Gwen,

you came to help me out, I took advantage of the situation.

- Oh-- You-- No. - You talk about bottoming out.

I was a little drunk, and I think I kissed you.

- Oh-- - Did I?

I don't-- I don't remember.

Well, if I did anything inappropriate, will you forgive me?

- Uh, sure. Yeah. - Thanks, Keek.

- Are you okay now? - If you'd asked me a couple of hours ago, I'd have said no.

But something happened tonight that was really incredible.

I was out walking by the cottages and it was, like, Gwen was drawing me to her.

And I just look over this wall and there she was.

She was standing by the pool all dressed in white,

like an angel in the desert.

And I thought to myself, "That's why you're here.

You're supposed to win her back." What's she gonna do, stay with Hector?

I mean, there's no way. That's the woman I'm supposed to spend the rest of my life with.

Really?

The-The woman by the pool.

- Gwen. - That's why I'm here.

What do you mean, that's why you're here?

Gwen.

Pebbles and Bamm-Bamm are rockin' out.

[ Lee ] What?

Oh, Kiki and Eddie are comin' down.

Why'd you say that?

It's code. It's fun.

I wonder what she wants. I don't know what she wants.

But it'll be good to find out what she wants. I know what I want.

Okay, Siegfried and Roy just left the building.

They're headin' for the pool deck and--

Siegfried and Roy are here?

No, not the real Siegfried. It's a code.

You wanted to play this game, you little schmuck.

Okay, heads, she never sees me again. Tails, we get back together.

And you need to flip a coin for that?

Correct. Here we go.

One, two, three. [ Coin Jingles ]

Oh! Oh! Possum? Possible possum.

[ Kiki Laughing ] Wait, not here. Not here.

Felix, this is Oscar. The monkey is in day care.

Repeat, the monkey is in day care.

[ Imitates Owl Hoot ]

[ Gwen ] Coo, coo.

- Coo, coo. - Your mystery date awaits.

Wish me luck.

Coo, coo.

Oh. Um--

Coo, coo! Coo, coo!

[ Scoffs ]

Oh, Eddie.

I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.

I know you'll never forgive me, but please, please, take me back.

Oh, that a gun in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?

Actually, it's a gun.

Aah!

Coo, coo, coo.

Coo, coo, coo.

Coo, coo.

[ Door Closes ]

Hmm.

Hello, Eddie.

Hi, Gwen.

I've been so worried about you.

- Have you, Gwen? - Mm-hmm.

Hmm. That's how it goes when your wife decides to shack up with somebody else.

Sorry. I've got a lot of anger I'm trying to deal with.

I understand. You should get that out.

- Just shake it out. Throw it away. - Great advice. Thank you.

- Look, I know I have no right to ask you this, but-- - Ask me what?

When we were doing the movie, were you fooling around with anybody?

You're right. You've got no right to ask me that.

And no, I wasn't fooling around with anybody else.

What about the girl who played your daughter?

Are you out of your mind? What the hell's wrong with you, Gwen?

You're very hostile.

I can't imagine why.

- Oh, this was a big mistake. - No, it wasn't.

Yes, it was. Look, tomorrow let's just be professional and promote this movie

because let's face it, at this point, we both need this one to do well.

I know you do.

And if they ask

about the breakup, we just say that it was a difficult time,

that we're working through it together and that we're still really, really close, okay?

- Fine. Whatever. - Good.

I have to go.

I'll see you tomorrow, Eddie.

You're not even--

Here. There you go.

Thanks.

♪ Can't quite remember ♪

♪ A struggle so big ♪

♪ Or ever feelin' so small ♪

♪ It took all my strength just to get out of bed ♪

♪ As the ache in my heart went straight to my head ♪

♪ I just can't keep ♪

♪ My feet on the ground ♪

♪ I guess we all learn the hard way ♪

♪ Guess we all fall down ♪♪

Well, sure, it's a little chaotic, but it's not overwhelming.

That's how junkets go. It's a great opportunity.

[ Club Hitting Ball ]

It's nothing I can't handle-- Oh!

[ Man ] Is this a scene from their new movie, Time Over Time ?

No. That's Gwen Harrison and Eddie Thomas dancing in the moonlight for real.

Hard to believe, but America's sweethearts

What the hell is going on?

again in a passionate embrace.

Goddamn it!

My life is so stressful. People have no idea what it's like being me.

Did we brush my teeth?

Yes.

See? I can't even remember that.

Good morning, you two. Come on, smile.

Here we go. All right? Smile.

Ladies and Gentlemen, here they are!

Eddie and Gwen together again.

[ Cheering, Whistling ]

There they are! America's sweethearts!

Lee, what is this? I'm only getting five minutes?

Yes, and mention the jerking-off thing, and I'll pull your plug, so to speak.

Whatever. Listen, five minutes is plenty of time to talk about a movie I haven't seen.

Yeah, but it's fabulous.

[ Kiki ] Do you need anything?

Doesn't she look great?

Who?

Your sister. Look at her. She looks incredible.

Are you trying to make me jealous?

Would it be possible to do that at this point?

No.

Then why would you care if I was trying?

Okay, who's happy? Ready to go?

Okay, Adinah. Thank you. Always a pleasure.

Here we go! Byron, it's all yours.

Byron Allen, comin' to you from Entertainment Studios dot-com.

Strap yourself in because I'm sitting with America's sweethearts,

Eddie Thomas and Gwen Harrison.

And are you ready for this? They're not trying to kill each other.

[ Chuckling ] So, guys, what's going on?

Are you two back together? You look very comfortable.

Look, Byron, before I came down from the room, I took about a half a pound of Vicodin.

So I'm gonna be really comfortable until about late March.

Oh, you are funny. How do you live with him, Gwen?

She doesn't.

She lives with someone else.

Eddie.

Gwen.

It must've been exciting working with Hal Weidmann.

Tell me, were you apprehensive at all when you started?

Oh, no. No, Hal's brilliant. He's, um,

so easy to work with, you know?

He loves actors.

Just loves actors.

- Eddie, you had a nervous breakdown, didn't you? - What?

Do you think audiences will ever be able to watch you again

without remembering your sensational attack on Miss Harrison?

- Lee. - And that's five minutes. Thank you, Dave.

Oh, it was so great meeting you guys.

- I'm a-- I'm a huge fan. - Lunch?

Why does he get a neck rub? I want one.

- He's so tense. - Hello? I have a neck too.

This thing holding up my head.

And we're back. Everybody ready?

Of course.

[ Whispering ] Of course.

Eddie.

Hello again, Syracuse. I'm Mort Josephson, your movie maven.

Good morning, Ann Arbor. I'm Laura Messenger, the Channel Seven Cinemaniac.

The popcorn is buttered.

The lights are dimming.

It's time to join Bob.

And Ken

[ Together ] At The Multiplex.

Eddie and I are great friends. We talk every day.

Eddie and I are better friends than we've ever been.

We talk two, three times a day.

We're just cosmically, like, spiritually bound.

Eddie's really good and he's just my pillar of strength.

You know, he's like-- It's like Sodom and Gomorrah.

- I mean, so strong, you know? - [ Lee ] And that's five minutes.

In spite of all the emotion and the hurting,

we were able to lean on each other for support.

That's when I realized how strong

our friendship really was.

We're in constant contact.

You know, that's right, I mean, not only are we great, great friends,

and not only are we in constant contact--

I mean, you should see some of the phone bills. I mean, whoo.

We've also done some-- I don't know-- How should I put this?

Hell, I'm just gonna say it.

We've done a couple of three ways.

And this guy she's with now, I can't say I'm happy about it.

After all, she's my wife.

But after having spent some time in the sack with him, I can see the attraction.

Although I have to say, for a fairly big guy,

he's not packin' much south of the border, you know?

Oh, and that's five minutes. Thank you so much. Say hi to everybody in Salt Lake.

Good to see you.

[ Whimpering ]

Next!

[ Gwen ] Hi, guys!

[ Eddie ] Hi, guys. Hello.

I didn't think it was funny.

It was a joke.

I do that after the 400th interview of the day.

I don't think Hector's gonna find it very funny.

Guess what? I don't give a shit what Hector thinks. Hi.

A picture with my baby?

Oh.

Just smile and shut up.

Okay. All right.

[ Lee ] Listen, you have given me a hundred and ten percent today

Who has? Me?

You have. Yes! It's been a great day.

What do you want?

Small favor.

No.

Forty-five minutes, an hour?

No.

Yes. I need you to have dinner with Gwen.

Dinner with Gwen? No.

Yes. It'll be great.

No, it won't be great, because I'm not doing it.

You should do this.

I'm going up to my room to the mini bar.

Please, do this.

I'm gonna spend time with myself.

Eddie, we're in deep shit. We don't have the film. Hal's holding the film hostage.

We have nothing. You understand that? Nothing.

But what I do have is you. You and Gwen.

When you two are together, the press forgets that there is no film.

I've never seen anything like it.

It's roses blooming, flags flying, butterscotch pudding.

Are you on something?

It's a panic high.

You don't have to order salad and dessert.

Just order an entree, chew, smile and go.

No.

They have a delightful pork tenderloin tonight.

No.

8:00. Thank you so much.

No.

It was Gwen's idea. Absolutely.

Really?

I can't believe you said I'd have dinner with him.

I hear they serve a very nice pork tenderloin.

I'm not going. Here.

I've been with him enough today for the rest of my life.

I have to give him the divorce papers.

- When are you gonna do that? - Just before we leave.

What are you gonna do? Toss them out the window at him as the limo pulls away?

Look, you don't understand. It's very complicated.

I'm trying to be nice to him so it will be easier when I give him the papers.

But if I'm nice, he thinks there's hope.

- Is that your foot? - Sorry.

Pedicure. Hello?

So, when you're nice, he thinks--

I can't even talk about it right now.

It's so hard being someone people just don't get over.

- Tell him I have a headache. - I'm not gonna lie for you.

You lie for me all the time.

Not to him.

You know what this is? This is high school all over again. Nothing has changed.

When you wanted to break up with your boyfriends in high school, did you do it?

- No. You made me do it. - I did not.

Oh, please. Let's just refresh your memory.

- Robert Mancuta? Kyle Hassler? - Ew. Oh, God.

Toby Franks? Half the lacrosse team? Ring a bell, huh?

In the end, I was the most hated girl in school.

That's not true.

My quote in the yearbook was, "Hey, we have to talk."

I was despised.

Fine. Don't go.

Eddie'll sit there like an idiot.

It'll be all your fault.

Whatever.

- How are you? - Lee.

Where's the film?

What are you talking about?

The film is in its canister waiting to be shown, waiting to go into history.

[ Chuckles ] There is no film, is there?

What have I seen five times that made me laugh and cry

and have the best feeling I ever had in a movie theater?

You're going to have a great time, you'll see. See you later.

We're doomed. We're dead. We're doomed. Thank you.

Hey, look at you.

Wow, you clean up good, Keek.

Thanks.

- What's going on? - Gwen isn't feeling well,

so she's not going to be able to make it to dinner.

Mm-- Uh-uh. She isn't sick.

Not physically, no.

I just didn't want you to sit here wondering.

Thanks.

Thanks. Really. You want to join me?

Uh--

Come on. Haven't you read the papers?

I'm very unstable. Don't let me alone with me. Have dinner with me. We'll catch up.

A few minutes.

Yeah.

Uh-oh. We have an understudy.

[ Lee ] Boy, they never make it easy, do they?

Can I have the house phone, please?

Sure.

Thank you.

Hello, darling. Can I have Holly Golightly's cottage, please?

Who's that?

It's Gwen's code name.

It's from Breakfast at Tiffany's.

Oh. What's that?

It's a movie. It's a great movie.

Oh.

Hepburn?

Right. Katharine.

Let me tell you something. Don't tell anybody you're in the movie business, okay?

Thank you.

Okay.

Hello. Hey, Gwen, it's Lee.

Listen, I'm at the restaurant, and guess what.

You're not. [ Chuckles ] Are you okay?

Oh, that's too bad. No, no. Eddie's fine.

He's with Kiki, and she looks unbelievable.

It may be a little "Hello Young Lovers" for me,

and I may have some fires to put out later, buy hey, that's my problem, isn't it?

[ Chuckles ] Have a nice night. Feel better. Okay. Bye.

Five minutes. Take notes, kid.

You're amazing.

This is Larry Flange for Let's Go To The Movies. Goddamn it!

I'm sitting here with the lovely and the talented Miss Kiki Harrison. Kiki--

Let's talk about the movie. You play a lesbian firefighter on an oil rig in the North Sea.

What word comes to mind-- typecasting. Your thoughts. And then--

Oh, my thoughts. You really want my thoughts?

Yeah.

- Umm-- Larry. - Larry.

Okay, Larry. The truth is, uh,

after playing Madame Curie

Hm.

- and discovering radium, - Oh.

I just thought It would be a hoot, you know, to strap on

those big rubber boots and kiss my favorite gal good-bye

and go fight some fire. [ Laughs ]

- That was a very personal role. - Personal, close to my heart. Yes.

- Nice. That's funny. You're funny. - I am. Well--

Do you remember when we were in Carolina doing Silent Run ?

Right.

And we rented that go-cart, then you attacked the director.

And you had the cart race--

Excuse me. No, no, no.

- I did not attack. There was no attacking. - You rammed him repeatedly.

I didn't ram him. I tapped him. He tried to cut me off.

Then you rammed me.

You rammed everybody. You rammed Gwen.

Ramming you was different.

No. W-Well, yeah. [ Laughing ]

- She was not laughing, and we were laughing. - She wasn't happy about that.

I don't know why that memory kept popping into my head.

- Those were good times. - [ Chuckles ]

Tsk. Uh-- I'm sorry I didn't call you.

Hey, she's your sister. I mean, I totally understand.

But you're my friend, and I just let myself get kind of--

- It's good to see you now. - It's good to see you now.

- That's a nice necklace. - Oh, it's, um, not really mine.

- I know. - It's Gwen's.

- I know. - She gave it to me.

And I gave it to her.

- I know. - Looks good on you though.

Thank you. [ Chuckles ]

What are you thinking right now?

I am thinking about something I shouldn't be thinking about.

Me too. What were you thinking about?

[ Whispers ] I was thinking about how much I wanna eat that bread stick.

You wanna eat this?

No. No, no.

I don't-- I don't eat bread. I just--

- I just dream about bread. - You know, I've been going to dream analysis since

I cracked up at the center.

At the center.

And I believe bread represents something forbidden,

something you want but you can't have.

- What do you think about that? - Well, I think that

when I dream about bread that would represent...

bread.

Pretty much.

What are you thinkin' about?

Gwen...

- is here. - [ People Murmuring ]

- Sorry I'm late. - Thought you weren't feelin' well.

All better. Just like that. Thanks, Keek, you can go.

Okay. No, that's fine.

No, she's doesn't have to go. Stick around.

Stay. Have dinner. Good to see you.

I need some mouthwash.

Okay, right away.

So-- So what's good? I hear they have great pork tenderloin. Yum--

She didn't have to go.

Thank you, honey. You look great too.

Excuse me, is Holly Golightly here?

What is the name?

Holly Golightly.

Oh, no. What the hell is he doing here?

I'll get rid of him.

No! Get a camera-- film, tape, anything.

Go. Go. Go, go!

Okay.

It's Gwen Harrison. You know the actress Gwen Harrison?

Hector! Lee Phillips. We met at the house the other day.

Ah, where is Gwen?

I want to see my Gwen.

I don't want to get involved in a personal situation.

You're all adults. You know, people in love, how can you stop them?

What-What are you talking about now? Where is Gwen?

I want to see her now.

I can't cover for them anymore.

They're in the restaurant having dinner, and that's all I'm gonna say on the matter.

They're right over there. See, she's in the red dress right over there.

Yeah.

Hi.

Hector. Jesus.

That's all right.

Hi, Gene. Hi.

Don't wave at him like that. Come on.

Eddie,

- I promote my movies. - I know. I know.

- It's part of the biz. - I apologize.

I'm sorry.

Hector--

- Yes, I apologize for Hector too. - Hector's here.

What is going on? For why are you sitting with him?

Hi, honey.

Come on. Get in there, get in-- Would you get out of the way?

Oh. Oh, yeah.

-Because I come here and I see-- -Good, good, good. Get that side.

- I mean, what am I supposed to think? - What are you doing here?

I'm protecting the woman I love. What are you doing?

- I'll let you two catch up. - No, why don't you be quiet, okay?

I'm going to get to you in a minute.

Don't-- Don't point.

Don't tell me what to do.

- Don't you trust me, Hector? - I trust you. I trust you implicitly.

It's this asshole I don't trust! I don't trust you!

Mecka lecka salava beem sala beem.

- What? What did you say? - Mecka lecka-- beem sala beem.

I hope he's not making fun of my accent. That's all I hope.

Okay. Enough! You guys enjoy your little public display.

- I'm leaving. - Okay. Okay. Pussy boy's leaving.

Oh, what's the matter? You don't like that, huh?

Maybe, uh, you want to take a swing at me, huh? Huh? Tall boy? Come on.

What're-- What're-- What are you--

Come on.

What is that?

Come after me. Let's go.

- Please. Please. Make my day. - [ Kingman ] Lee!

You're a genius beyond my wildest expectations.

Look, look, look, look. The tracking is up.

Spielberg has moved off of our date.

Ooh! This is good!

Hit him! Hit him! Anybody.

Who?

I'm not gonna fight you!

'Cause you're the pussy boy.

No. Because I'm trying to find some peace.

You want peace?

Okay, he wants peace.

Pussy boy's leaving. Don't you do that.

- Hector. Don't. - Don't tell me don't.

Maybe you want a piece of me, huh?

[ Glass Shatters ] Okay? Okay?

You see?

Okay? Huh? Pussy?

You know, I don't think there should be a problem here.

Come on.

After all, you stole my wife, and I tried to kill you.

So I think we're pretty much even, okay? You crumpled duck!

Oh, dear me.

[ Grunting, Blabbering ]

- Go away! - [ Grunting ]

Punk, you hungry? You eat this! Eat it!

You dick! Do you hear me?

Gonna kill you.

I love your work.

Eddie, you forgot something.

[ Diners Gasping ] [ Birds Tweeting ]

[ Hector ] Did you see him go down?

[ Gwen ] Shut up!

What? Don't tell me to shut up.

Why'd you have to do that?

I did not have to do it. I wanted to do it.

Just deal with it in there.

Okay.

[ People Chattering ]

Did you see that?

[ Camera Shutters Clicking ]

Eddie. Eddie. Eddie.

[ Lee ] Everybody back, please.

- Eddie, you okay? - I can feel my nose in the back of my throat.

- Is that bad? - Can you hear me?

- Eddie? - [ Cartilage Crackling ]

[ Danny ] Get him some ice, please.

[ Door Closing ]

Swear to God, Gwen can be just horrible.

How can you be in love with somebody and not even like them at the same time?

It seems strange.

I think you need to lie down.

I thought I was lying down.

Uh, well, why don't we try sitting down?

Okay.

There we go.

Let me have a look.

[ Clears Throat ] It doesn't look good.

No?

Cold.

[ Sighs ]

What happened?

I just thought I needed another humiliating photo op.

I tried to walk away, but the guy just kept pushin',

so I hit him in the tray with my face.

I should've just walked away.

I don't know. For some reason these days I always do the stupid thing.

[ Whispers ] This doesn't look good.

Mm.

What was that?

Another stupid thing.

Stupid and maybe verging on crazy or--

Yeah.

It's a fine-- Mmm--

[ Laughing ] There he is the master!

[ Laughs ] Bartender, I'll have whatever he's having.

[ Man ] Yes, sir.

Well, Lee, I have to say, you have completely outdone yourself.

In 24 hours, you have given us a walk in the woods,

a romantic dinner and a fistfight. [ Laughs ]

I can't wait to see what happens next.

Maybe I can get him to commit suicide. Would you like that?

[ Scoffs ]

I don't know. Let me think about it.

Oh, yeah. I mean, it won't help the initial release,

but it'll rent like crazy when it goes to video.

We can do a box like a coffin. Maybe wrap it in a little black ribbon.

Oh, yeah. No, that's good. No, no, wait.

Imagine if he killed himself at the premiere.

I'm joking. I mean, thinking out loud. Whatever.

- Good night, Dave. - Good night, Lee.

[ Laughs ]

Good work!

Heh!

[ Eddie ] Hi.

Hi. Wow.

Yeah.

Hi.

Hi.

Good morning.

Mm-- How do you feel?

I feel-- I feel--

I feel good.

I feel weird, but I feel good.

You?

I-- Well, yeah. I feel something along those lines.

Good. Weird. Weird. Good.

Well, listen. Here's what I was thinkin'.

Why don't I order some breakfast, and we'll take it from there.

Okay. Um, why don't you order some breakfast.

I'll brush my teeth first.

Uh-huh.

Can I use your toothbrush?

Yeah. Yeah. It's in there.

Okay. Mm-- All right.

Ooh. [ Giggles ]

Can I get some juice?

Kiki! Keek! Hello!

Where are you? Kiki!

Want some toast?

You buttered my toast.

Yeah.

No one's ever buttered my toast before.

I mean, I don't actually eat toast with butter. I don't eat toast. I just--

I'm gonna stop talking now and make an exception.

Do you want some tea?

[ Phone Rings ]

[ Ringing Continues ] It's hot.

Here. Okay.

Thank you.

[ Clears Throat ] Yeah.

Hi.

No, no, no. I'm fine. I look like half a raccoon.

What's goin' on? Now's not such a good time.

Can we do it later? No, don't come here. I will come there.

Bye.

That was Gwen.

Mm.

- She wants to talk before we do the interviews. - About what?

I don't know. She didn't say. But I better, uh,

go over there.

Why didn't you say you'd see her later?

Well, I did, but she said she was gonna come over here.

And I thought that's not a good idea, so I better just go over there,

given the situation.

Are you gonna tell her about last night?

I don't know. I think I'm just gonna let her talk, Keek.

Mm-hmm. Oh, yeah.

You know what I mean?

It sounds like she's got something important to say.

So I figure I'll just let her say it.

And then I was gonna go do these dumb interviews,

and then I'm gonna come back and you and me'll have lunch together.

All right? Does that sound good?

Keek? Kiki? Kiki!

You look terrible. Does it hurt?

Well, only when I'm awake. Ow.

Oh--

He's not here by the way. Hector.

Who? That doesn't matter.

Is Kiki here though?

I doubt it.

Huh.

Kiki! Keek!

I don't know where that girl is.

"That girl" is here.

Nice of you to join us. Where have you been?

Got up early. Had some things to do. Nothing important.

Would you make me some scrambled eggs?

- She makes great scrambled eggs. - I remember.

- Would you like some? - No.

Two scrambled eggs and make mine runny.

You can order room service. She doesn't have to cook.

No, no, no.

It would be my pleasure. I'm not, uh--

[ Clears Throat ] So what did you want to talk to me about?

Yeah--

[ Gwen ] I think that you're doing pretty well, huh?

Are you feeling okay? Yeah, I'm better.

I'm shocking myself. [ Laughs ]

I forgot how charming you were, Colonel.

And you, Miss Julep. You're a warm breeze on a cool afternoon.

[ Laughs ] [ Kitchenware Banging ]

- What was that? - [ Mouths Words ]

What was that movie called?

I don't remember.

Kiki, what was that movie called?

- I don't give a shit. - No, that wasn't it.

Anyway, you look like you're getting into a good place now, Eddie.

Last night, when I saw you and Hector, I was so conflicted.

"Conflicted," that is the word du jour. There's no question about that.

[ Banging ]

You know what that is. That's tired. She's tired.

- Are you seeing anybody? - Excuse me.

Are you seeing anybody?

Let me think about how I'd answer that.

Um, not--

You know, [ Whispers ] not technically, no.

- What? - He said, "not technically."

[ Laughs ] Well!

That's fascinating-- "not technically."

That's sad, really. That's a shame.

Now-- No--

Here are your eggs, my darling sister. I hope that's runny enough for you.

And you, you son of a bitch, here are your eggs! There you go!

- What in the hell is wrong with you, Kiki? - A lot, actually.

And I cannot believe it's taken me this long to figure it out.

And-And-And I'm gonna go for a long walk now just to simmer down.

But before I do, I'd just like to cut through the bullshit.

You see, sister, the reason why he's not technically seeing anyone

is because he's still technically hung up on you.

And you, you moron!

The only reason she's here,

besides trying to salvage her precious career, is to serve you with divorce papers.

There, I've said it. I've done all I can do here.

I'm going for a walk because that's--

Leaving is something I've really perfected.

And so, once more with feeling.

- She was so much more fun when she was fat. - Is that true?

- What? - About the papers.

Yes, but now I don't know what to do.

I mean, seeing you again and being in front of the press with you again.

We have something, Eddie. Maybe I've made a horrible, horrible mistake.

Or maybe I should just give you the papers. I don't know.

You're the devil.

Kiki!

Kiki! Hold on. Hold on. I want to talk.

Come on. Hold on. I want to talk to you.

Let go of me!

I don't want to talk to you! Because you're an idiot.

Why not?

Well--

You know what? For that matter, I'm an idiot too.

In that respect, we're actually quite perfect for each other!

This is a complicated situation.

Let me uncomplicate it for you, huh?

Forget about what happened between us, Eddie. It's not gonna work!

All right? I mean, last night? Last night was-was great.

But then she calls you, and you cannot wait to get out the door.

What is that? It's just not going to work,

'cause you will probably always be thinking about her.

And I will probably always be wondering if you were thinking about her.

I just-- I just need you to know one thing.

What?

That woman that you saw by the pool the other night--

Forget about that.

No, that woman that you just have to spend the rest of your life with--

That was me.

Good morning!

Morning.

So here's the buffet. What's goin' on?

Nothin'. I'm great.

Just great. Oh, ma'am, can I get some more butter?

Word of advice: When you hit Formica, stop.

You know the expression "falling off the wagon," Lee?

- This is what it looks like. - But you've got 20, 30 pounds of food to break your fall.

What the hell happened?

Bad morning.

- Preceded by 33 bad years. - Does this have something to do with Gwen?

Mm, of course not. I love my sister.

I love everything about her. "Kiki. Kikikins.

"Who's smoking? I smell smoke.

"Is someone smoking within a six-mile radius of where I'm standing?

Stop them, Kiki. Stop them."

Ma'am, the butter?

What are they, out of butter? How can you run out of butter?

Well I have one theory.

You know what? I need an assistant.

Because if I had an assistant, she would be outside right now milking a cow,

and they would never, ever run out of butter.

"Oh, Kiki, my butter has touched another food. I need new butter."

"Anything you want, honey." That's the way it goes, Lee.

Right? You're a publicist, you know. Anything they want, right?

She's got a green dress. It looks like crap on her.

Brings out the circles under her eyes. She knows it. I know it. She gave it to me.

It actually looks nice on me, and then she says, well, maybe she wanted it back, you know?

She doesn't want it. She doesn't want me to have it. That's the truth.

So, what is it? You're in love with Eddie?

Wouldn't that be stupid?

Kiki, I have done every one of their movies.

I've never seen him look at her the way he's been lookin' at you.

And if you're in love, you should just go for it.

The way you went for this breakfast.

Not the way you went for the breakfast. I-- It's-- You know.

[ Whispers ] Lee.

I think-- I think I'm gonna be sick.

Can you just-- Can you just-- Oh--

Hi. Listen, I'm gonna take all of this to go.

I'll need-- I don't know-- 20, 30 bags and a forklift. [ Chuckles ]

No laugh. No tip. [ Scoffs ]

♪♪ [ Latin ]

[ People Chattering ]

I really want to play a character like the Terminator.

Because I think the Hispanic people are crying out

to see a deadly, destructive killing machine that they can embrace as their own.

You know? That they can relate to.

Hey, how are you?

Nice to see you. [ Chuckles ] Hi.

Hey.

Hal here yet?

No.

He's a dead man. No. I'm serious.

I mean, I know a guy. I'll make a call and he's dead, because, I mean--

[ Man ] Hey, Dave!

Ha! Hi! How are ya? Nice to see you.

Hope you're having a good time. [ Chuckles ]

I am.

What time do you have?

Ten to 1:00.

We're doomed.

Dave, may I suggest you follow my lead

and get completely shit-faced.

Gwenny? Hi. How are you? You look gorgeous.

Hi, Mr. K.

Thank you. Lee, how much longer do I have to stay out here with these people?

They're getting drunk, and they're starting to touch.

Hang in there. If Hal doesn't show up with the film,

they'll be busy finding where to build a gallows.

What? I don't think that's funny.

Nothing. Nothing.

[ Excited Shouts, Gasps ]

Is-- Is that pussy boy?

Oh, my God. He's gonna jump.

He's not gonna jump.

Oh, I told him I was gonna give him the divorce papers.

Shit, he's gonna jump!

Gwen! Gwen! Excuse me!

Please. Please.

We gotta do something.

I'll get him.

No, wait. Let's take advantage of this. Get a helicopter up there.

And get some aerial shots. Uh, all right, yeah. Okay.

Oh, shit!

- Jump. Jump. - Jump, pussy. Jump.

- Jump, pussy. Jump. - I can't believe this.

- He's gonna be a pussy pancake. - I'm comin', Eddie!

Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!

- Oh! - [ Screams ]

[ People Screaming ]

- Why is he doing this to me? - Eddie, I'm sorry. Are you okay?

- What are you doing? - I was trying to stop you from jumping!

- By trying to kill me? - Ah-- Eddie, stay right there!

- Where am I gonna go? - Right!

[ Eddie ] Oh, no. Lee!

Oh, shit! Hang in there, Eddie!

[ Lee ] I'm comin'!

[ Eddie Yelling ]

- [ Grunts ] All right, Eddie. - You gonna hose me down?

I'm gonna throw it. You're gonna catch it.

One, two, three.

- Ohh! [ Grunts ] - [ Crowd Clamoring ]

Pull yourself up! I got ya!

Come on! [ Grunting ]

Got it? Good.

Yeah.

- [ Screams ] - Eddie! - [ Crowd Screams ]

- [ All Gasp ] - Pussy boy gonna go splat.

[ Lee ] Got it?

Yeah.

Come on. That's it. One foot at a time. There you go.

Okay.

I'm gonna kill you.

Eddie, listen. Take a bow. You'll look better. Take a bow.

- [ Applause, Cheering ] - [ Groans, Sighs ]

Jesus Christ. Whew.

Eddie...

the next time you try to kill yourself, just take a hair dryer into the tub.

- I wasn't trying to kill myself! - Then what were you doing?

I just came up here to think. Is that a crime? Get a little perspective?

Do that in your room!

I blew it. I lost her.

Guy goes to his rabbi. He says, "Rabbi, I think my wife is trying to poison me."

The rabbi says, "Let me talk to her."

Comes back a little later and he says, "Listen, I spoke to your wife for three hours.

Take the poison." Do you understand what I'm saying?

You and Gwen are over.

I don't care about Gwen!

I'm talking about Kiki.

Kiki?

Yes, Kiki. She's the only one worth spending any time with in this hellhole.

No offense, Lee. You're a great guy. You have some very nice qualities.

But for a good review, you'd sell my body to China for medical experiments.

Eddie, don't let her get away.

It's too late.

No, it's not too late. Trust me. I'm telling--

- [ Murmuring ] - That's Hal!

That's Hal?

That maniac is here with the film. Eddie, we're saved.

We're beyond salvation, Lee. This is, uh--

C-C-Come on.

You wanna see the movie, don't you?

I don't care about the movie!

Eddie, this could put you back on top.

You think? On top?

Yes. May I have the envelope, please?

Hal! Hal! Hi! [ Chuckles ]

Hi!

He's got the film. Go, go, go, go, go. Go, go, go, go.

He's our director. He looks good.

Oh, yeah. He looks great.

Hey, everybody, let's get started.

I'm Lee Phillips. Welcome to Time Over Time.

Thank you.

I'm gonna go out on a ledge here and say--

[ Crowd Laughing ]

I couldn't help myself.

Please welcome the man responsible for this junket, Mr. Dave Kingman. Dave.

Thank you very much, Lee. Thank you.

They say that good things come to those who wait.

Well, I waited 20 years to work with the great Hal Weidmann,

and, uh, I think Hal's cinematic influence has been felt--

That's good.

Thank you.

My name is Hal Weidmann. Hello.

Ladies and gentlemen, this is the most honest movie

I have ever made.

I wasn't looking for it. It came to me like a bus in the street

or the woman who changes

the flowers at our desert house.

I can't talk about this film without weeping. Roll it, please.

Thank you, Hal. Have a great time, everybody.

♪♪ [ Dramatic Orchestral Sound Track Begins ]

Sarah, my name is Ben. I must speak with you.

Who are you?

That's not important.

What's important now is your safety.

[ Bombs Whistling, Exploding ]

Listen to me, Sarah. You're in grave danger.

I don't know how to say this, so I'm just gonna come out and say it.

I'm from the future.

Oh, my God.

You look beautiful.

Thank you.

- Come with me now. Now, Sarah. Please. - [ Whimpers ]

[ Weidmann's Voice ] Love is a bridge built between two people.

We want what exists between them to be real.

My name is Hal Weidmann. The film you're about to see

is Time Over Time, or is it?

Details are unimportant. Simply put, the script was shit, I tossed it,

[ Groans ] and instead decided

Just watch.

to let my camera capture real life.

I filmed my actors without their knowledge.

I let the camera run after takes. I placed hidden cameras around the set.

And the end result is a story far more involving

than anything manufactured by actors and writers.

[ Howling ]

This is real life-- the juice,

the stink,

- the glory. - [ Gasps ]

[ Clears Throat ]

You know, a lot of times you look at a film and you think, "Where did the money go?"

Shut up!

- It's gonna be good. - Uhh!

I don't mean to put any pressure on you, but we're, um, we're 15 days over schedule.

Oh, no.

And, um, what are we gonna do? How do we--

I'm in the middle of shooting. This is a sensitive time.

Do me a favor. Go away. Please. Never visit my set again.

- [ Laughs ] - [ Audience Murmurs ]

Watch him take it up the gazoo. [ Laughs ]

You're an idiot. I told you we never should've hired Hal Weidmann.

[ Chattering, Indistinct ]

- [ Chuckling ] - ♪ You do ♪

♪ Something to me ♪

♪ Something that simply mystifies ♪

♪ Me ♪

♪ Tell me ♪

♪ Why should it be ♪

♪ You have the power to hypnotize ♪

♪ Me ♪

♪ Let me live ♪

♪ 'Neath your spell ♪

[ Groans ]

You're so good in this.

♪ You do ♪

♪ That voodoo that you do ♪

- ♪ So well ♪ - [ Weidmann ] Cut.

[ Bell Rings ] [ Gwen Screaming ]

Hal! Hal! Hal, can I get, like, three minutes?

Yeah, sure. Three minutes.

Gwen, can I talk to you for a minute?

I'm working.

Yes.

What's goin' on with you and that guy?

Nothing's going on.

Come on. He's got his hands all over your ass.

My character would have done that at that point.

Yeah, your character--

You look like a freakin' prostitute!

Oh, please! Cut it out.

Don't make a fool out of me, Gwen.

Cut it out.

I'm watching you. I'm watching you every minute. Do you hear me?

Cut it out.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Do you hear me?

Mm!

[ Gwen ] I think Eddie knows.

[ Kiki ] Knows what?

About me and Hector.

You told me nothing's happening.

Well, something happened.

[ Disgusted Gasp ]

[ Mocking Gasp ] Ooh!

- Do you see that zit? - [ Laughs ]

- What the hell is this? - Do you think I know? [ Laughing ]

- You bastard! - [ Kiki ] You see it? I'll get something.

I slept with him.

Hector?

Yeah.

[ Gasps ] Are you in love with him?

Oh, come on. It's not always about love.

- Sometimes you just need to get laid. - [ Audience Murmuring ]

I tell you, he's hot, handsome, he can go for hours.

Just wish he had a bigger, you know, thingy.

[ Laughter ]

[ Chuckling ] I love this movie.

- [ Kiki ] What do you mean? - It's like a roll of quarters.

Like this.

Or maybe like this. [ Laughs ]

Okay.

[ Kiki ] I know too much.

- I think I'm gonna scream. - I think it's very entertaining.

- Lee, get over here right now. - [ Kiki ] Here you go. [ Indistinct ]

You stop this right now. I mean it.

- I'm gonna sue the studio. - Could you lower your voice?

Danny, cut the film. Shut up!

Excuse me. Was that deserved?

Oh, I think so. You've ruined me.

- You have ruined my career. - Look at the screen!

Don't you realize what that is? That's reinvention.

That's birth. That's life itself. Can't you smell the life?

Pretty soon you're gonna smell Ira Stern, my attorney!

[ Lee ] Thank you, Hal.

Wacko!

Okay, well, obviously the new direction this film has taken

has caught some of us a little bit off guard.

I'm shocked. I'm outraged.

I know, Gwen. I'm--

- There are textures. - Can I just say something, please?

Excuse me. What was said about my penis on the screen,

that is completely false. Completely!

I am extremely well hung. I will submit to a physical inspection right now.

I knew this film-- It would be misunderstood.

Kubrick was misunderstood. Godard-- misunderstood.

What? Hey.

I'm gonna kick your ass, okay? Understand that!

- Who are you? - [ Scoffs ] Who am I?

I'm the ass-kicker of you.

Can I defend my father's work?

No, you cannot. Who's her father?

Hal!

No, you cannot!

Well, at least let me defend Hector.

I only slept with him once, but I know his penis is bigger than a roll of quarters.

- [ Gwen ] You slept with her? - I did not. I never did.

You slept with her?

I swear to God I never did. She is lying.

Except for the part about my penis. That's true.

- It's bigger than coins. - There will be a lawsuit.

I know. I know.

There are legal issues here.

Invasion of privacy, damage to my career.

I agree. Yes, yes, yes-- I know--

Congratulations. I think it's the most honest work I've ever done.

I wanna work with you again.

I've got a script we can throw out.

You're wonderful in this.

I'll send it to you.

I have an announcement to make.

I'd like to thank you all. I'm so happy that you're here

and all our friends in the press who've been so, so supportive this last year.

I'm so happy to say

that Eddie and I are getting back together.

[ Crowd Exclaiming ] [ Applause ]

- So thank you all so, so much. - Excuse me. What is this bullshit now?

- Be quiet. - This is bullshit. All bullshit!

Just this morning, Eddie came over to the cottage and we had a breakfast,

and we had a good, heartfelt talk, didn't we, honey?

Yeah, well, you know, I'll have to admit,

I've been wanting to get back together with Gwen ever since--

ever since we weren't together anymore; I've been obsessed about it, really.

How sweet.

And now that it's happened, I just--

I just have to say that I'm amazed and I'm grateful and

I have to agree with Hector that it's bullshit.

Thank you! Thank you very much!

We talked about this. Yes, we did!

No, we didn't. No, we didn't.

We did. You love me.

We did not!

Yes I do. I do love you.

I love that beautiful, bright sexy woman up on the screen.

See, he loves me.

Yeah, the girl I used to make movies with, but that's not the real you.

That's you pretending to be real which you're really good at.

So when I'm with you in real life, I think I'm gonna be with the real you, but I'm not.

I'm gonna be with the real you that's with me right now, not the real you from the movies,

and I don't wanna be with you.

Why not?

I just explained it to you.

You did?

Yes! I don't want to talk to you about that in front of all these--

Why not, Eddie?

You're right. What could I possibly have to say to you

that I don't have to say in front of 300 members of the international press?

All right. I'll tell you why.

- Because I'm in love with your sister. - [ Crowd Exclaims ]

Kiki? [ Laughs ]

Yes.

Is this some kind of joke?

No.

[ Gwen ] Kiki, could you get over here?

Kiki!

- I want to talk to her too. - [ Gwen ] Why her? - Oh, why not?

Is that so unbelievable, so unfathomable?

Not now! Not now!

Oh, I think now is the time for now.

You just wait for me!

Can I just say something here, please?

Yes.

No. Listen.

Okay, one nut at a time.

You're my sister. I love you, and it is important to me

that you know that nothing happened between me and Eddie until last night.

Oh! I suddenly feel so much better about you stealing my husband.

Ex! Ex-husband! And I didn't steal anything.

And you're one to talk. You've been shacked up for the past year

with, you know, Ricky Ricardo.

[ Laughter ]

[ Sighs ] Look. I am just--

I am tired of making excuses. I am done picking up dirty clothes.

I am done pretending that your life is my whole life.

I'm just-- I'm done.

So what you're really worried about is you, right?

- Yes. - Well, I guess you're fired.

[ Crowd Exclaims ]

Honey. Tsk. Ohh.

You know all I care about is your happiness You know that, right? Tsk.

That's-- That's sweet--

So, don't worry about me.

I'll be fine.

You're unbelievable.

Shut up.

Next. Yes. What can I do for you?

Listen.

I know I probably shouldn't have said that in front of everybody.

Mm-hmm.

But, listen, I've been runnin' around the last year

trying to find some clarity, and all of a sudden I am so clear,

it's ridiculous.

I want to be with you.

And when did you make this decision?

The moment I thought I'd lost you.

Damn it.

What?

That was-- That was good.

No. No, no. This-This is crazy.

Eddie, Eddie, this isn't gonna work.

Listen to me.

I'm grateful for you.

In all the world, the thing I'm most grateful for is you.

If that's a line from one of your movies--

No, that's mine.

What do we do now?

Traditionally, w-we kiss.

- Yeah? Hm-- - [ Applause ]

[ Applause Continues ]

[ All Shouting ]

[ Lee ] Give 'em some room, folks.

Thank you.

[ Clamoring, Indistinct ]

Easy. Easy.

[ Sighs ] I'm on pain medication

that makes me say things I would never say otherwise.

Just to set the record perfectly straight,

Eddie and I never had any plans to reconcile.

And--

Oh, and Hector's very well endowed.

[ Woman ] Oh!

Almost too well endowed.

I've-I've had complaints, literally.

[ Door Opens ]

What are you doin'?

Packing.

Let me help you.

Oh, that's okay.

Oh-- That's-- No, really. I-- There's folding--

No arguments. Let somebody else help you for once, okay?

Okay. I just-- Yeah. Mm-hm.

- There you are. That was unbelievable. - Oh. Hey. [ Chuckles ]

That was just amazing. That was like a movie with a stage show. I'm tellin' ya,

if I could get all of you to tour with the film, we'd make a fortune.

And your sister, Kiki, she's unbelievable.

[ Scoffs ]

No, this is really remarkable. The entire country

has voted her off the island, but, no, she's back!

I've never seen anything like it. Eddie, they liked the movie.

The press actually likes this crazy movie!

They're calling it The Blair Bitch Project. But the best news is you two.

Do you want to have a drink or something?

We're just on our way out.

Where are you goin'?

We don't know.

Isn't that great?

Once in a while good things happen. I'll see ya.

Okay. Good-bye.

Eddie, there's a car waiting for you. You won't have to deal with the press or anybody.

But I'm gonna need you! We got a lot to do! This one's gonna work!

Ohh! [ Chuckles ]

[ Sighs ] [ Metal Clinking ]

[ Growling ]

- Oh! - [ Growling Continues ]

- Hi. Can I explain why I didn't call? - [ Barks ]

- [ Gasps ] - ♪ Some hearts they just get all the right breaks ♪

♪ Some hearts have the stars on their side ♪

♪ Some hearts they just have it so easy ♪

♪ Some hearts just get lucky sometimes ♪

♪ Some hearts just get lucky Lucky sometimes ♪

♪ I wake up feein' like my life's worth livin' ♪

♪ Can't recall when I last felt that way ♪

♪ Guess it must be all this love you're givin' ♪

♪ Never knew Never knew ♪

♪ It could be like this ♪

♪ But I guess Some hearts they just get all the right breaks ♪

♪ Some hearts have the stars on their side ♪

♪ Some hearts they just have it so easy ♪

♪ Some hearts just get lucky sometimes ♪

♪ Some hearts just get lucky

♪ Sometimes ♪

♪ Whoo-oo-ooh-ooh ♪

♪ Even hearts like mine ♪

♪ Get lucky Lucky sometimes ♪

♪ Whoo-oo-ooh-ooh ♪

♪ Ohhh ♪

♪ Some hearts they just get all the right breaks ♪

♪ Some hearts have the stars on their side ♪

♪ Yeah, some hearts they just have it so easy ♪

♪ Some hearts just get lucky ♪

♪ Sometimes ♪

♪♪ [ Rock, Jamaican Rap ]

♪ Come along now Come-a, come along now ♪

♪ Come along, Come-a, come along now ♪

♪ Sitting on a park bench Not a penny in our pockets But that's all right, now ♪

♪ Strummin' on a guitar All the girls are saying we're rockin' ♪

♪ And I'm feelin' high, now Workin' on a suntan, we don't even try and block it ♪

♪ And it's hot as hell but we don't care, 'cause we don't have to go nowhere ♪

♪ We're just chillin' day by day ♪

♪ Walk along with me ♪

♪ Walk along with me ♪

♪ Won't you walk with me Walk in harmony ♪

♪ I still believe ♪

♪ I can fly ♪

♪ I get higher ♪

♪ And higher ♪

♪ Higher and higher ♪

♪ Walk along with me Walk along with me ♪

♪ Won't you walk with me Walk in harmony ♪

♪ Walk along with me Walk along with me ♪

♪ Won't you walk with me Walk in harmony ♪

♪ Walk along with me Walk along with me ♪

♪ Won't you walk with me ♪♪

♪ Don't wanna wake up alone anymore ♪

♪ Still believin' you'll walk through my door ♪

♪ All I need is to know it's for sure ♪

♪ Then I'll give ♪

♪ All the love in the world ♪

♪ I've often wondered if love's an illusion ♪

♪ Just to get you through the loneliest days ♪

♪ I can't criticize it I had no hesitation ♪

♪ My imagination just stole me away ♪

♪ Still I believe ♪

♪ I'm missin' something real ♪

♪ I need someone who really sees me ♪

♪ Don't want to wake up alone anymore ♪

♪ Still believin' you'll walk through my door ♪

♪ All I need is to know it's for sure ♪

♪ Then I'll give ♪

♪ All the love in the world ♪

♪ Love's for a lifetime Not for a moment ♪

♪ So how could I throw it away ♪

♪ Yeah, I need someone who really sees me ♪

♪ I don't want to wake up alone anymore ♪

♪ Still believin' you'll walk through my door ♪

♪ You'll reach for me and I'll know it's for sure ♪

♪ That I'll give ♪

♪ All the love in the world ♪♪