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1
00:00:11,587 --> 00:00:14,571
[scoffs] If you ask me, any room
with Patty and Selma in it
2
00:00:14,573 --> 00:00:16,073
is an escape room.
3
00:00:16,075 --> 00:00:18,592
I know you don't like
Patty, Selma,
4
00:00:18,668 --> 00:00:20,019
puzzles, or parties,
5
00:00:20,021 --> 00:00:24,231
but try to enjoy Patty
and Selma's puzzle party.
6
00:00:26,752 --> 00:00:30,937
Comrades, as your damaged
Soviet submarine sinks,
7
00:00:31,090 --> 00:00:34,591
you must solve
a series of puzzles to escape.
8
00:00:34,610 --> 00:00:35,701
Should you need help,
9
00:00:35,778 --> 00:00:38,686
you can request
up to five hints.
10
00:00:38,706 --> 00:00:40,372
[Patty and Selma chuckling]
11
00:00:40,449 --> 00:00:42,616
We've escaped
from every fake dungeon,
12
00:00:42,692 --> 00:00:43,876
zombie space station,
13
00:00:44,027 --> 00:00:46,119
and unlicensed Hogwarts
in this county
14
00:00:46,196 --> 00:00:47,788
with no hints.
15
00:00:47,940 --> 00:00:50,382
Good luck and do svidaniya.
16
00:00:50,492 --> 00:00:51,792
I escaped!
17
00:00:51,944 --> 00:00:53,034
See you later.
18
00:00:53,112 --> 00:00:54,945
[sonar pinging]
19
00:00:54,947 --> 00:00:56,889
Lisa, search
the captain's locker.
20
00:00:57,040 --> 00:00:59,558
Marge, torpedo bay!
21
00:01:01,711 --> 00:01:02,786
Hint!
22
00:01:02,788 --> 00:01:03,395
No!
23
00:01:03,472 --> 00:01:04,879
No hints!
24
00:01:04,899 --> 00:01:06,957
[Squeaky-Voiced Teen]
That door is painted on, sir.
25
00:01:06,959 --> 00:01:08,625
You've used one hint.
26
00:01:08,627 --> 00:01:11,403
You ruined our perfect
hint-free streak,
27
00:01:11,480 --> 00:01:14,740
you Crisco-chugging
pistachio brain!
28
00:01:14,742 --> 00:01:16,575
Yeah? Well, you're a...
29
00:01:16,652 --> 00:01:18,560
a, a... Hint!
30
00:01:18,637 --> 00:01:20,987
I don't know.Something about her hair, maybe?
31
00:01:21,064 --> 00:01:22,915
That doesn't count as a hint!
32
00:01:23,066 --> 00:01:24,141
Yes, it does!
33
00:01:24,159 --> 00:01:26,159
[Patty and Selma snarling]
34
00:01:26,236 --> 00:01:28,712
-Separate.
-[Homer grunting]
35
00:01:29,757 --> 00:01:31,590
[growls]
36
00:01:31,667 --> 00:01:32,983
[hissing]
37
00:01:32,985 --> 00:01:34,409
Homer, away.
38
00:01:34,486 --> 00:01:35,761
Patty, tss, tss!
39
00:01:35,912 --> 00:01:38,004
Selma, corner. Corner!
40
00:01:38,081 --> 00:01:40,724
[all grumbling]
41
00:01:42,103 --> 00:01:45,920
Why was I in another awards show
"in memoriam" package?
42
00:01:45,998 --> 00:01:47,272
Oh, okay, then.
43
00:01:47,274 --> 00:01:49,441
Then why did they boo me?
44
00:01:49,518 --> 00:01:50,867
Oh, okay, then.
45
00:01:50,869 --> 00:01:53,003
Herschella!
46
00:01:53,021 --> 00:01:55,672
If you're wearing a robe,
cinch it.
47
00:01:55,674 --> 00:01:57,023
Aunt Sadie!
48
00:01:57,100 --> 00:01:59,843
My favorite aunt
who still talks to me!
49
00:01:59,845 --> 00:02:02,529
To what do I owe
this barging-in?
50
00:02:02,606 --> 00:02:05,958
Sideshow Mel asked me
to be a guest on your podcast.
51
00:02:06,034 --> 00:02:07,868
I have a podcast?
52
00:02:07,944 --> 00:02:09,519
Talking Krusty!
53
00:02:09,538 --> 00:02:12,113
It's that thing where people
who worked on a TV show
54
00:02:12,133 --> 00:02:13,781
talk about old episodes.
55
00:02:13,859 --> 00:02:14,858
What do you call it?
56
00:02:14,877 --> 00:02:17,194
A-a rewatch podcast.
57
00:02:17,196 --> 00:02:20,288
Why has this been hidden
from me?!
58
00:02:20,307 --> 00:02:22,382
[groans]
59
00:02:22,534 --> 00:02:24,384
[laughter]
60
00:02:24,461 --> 00:02:26,979
So, right in the middle
of the Game of Thrones sketch
61
00:02:27,055 --> 00:02:28,889
where the thrones were toilets,
62
00:02:28,965 --> 00:02:30,874
the cue cards went missing.
63
00:02:30,893 --> 00:02:32,058
What a story!
64
00:02:32,060 --> 00:02:33,635
Only in showbiz.
65
00:02:33,654 --> 00:02:37,063
Why the hell didn't you tell me
about this show about my show?!
66
00:02:37,216 --> 00:02:39,307
We begged you many times
to come on.
67
00:02:39,385 --> 00:02:41,401
Shut up,
you backstabbing traitor!
68
00:02:41,478 --> 00:02:43,220
Who the hell are you, Mustache?!
69
00:02:43,222 --> 00:02:44,997
And who's the skirt
in the pants?
70
00:02:45,073 --> 00:02:47,482
That's Wayne the Grip
and Jodie from Props.
71
00:02:47,559 --> 00:02:49,835
They've been with the show
since day one.
72
00:02:49,912 --> 00:02:51,837
What? You don't recognize
the people
73
00:02:51,914 --> 00:02:53,488
who work on your own show?
74
00:02:53,565 --> 00:02:54,840
Um...
75
00:02:54,917 --> 00:02:56,917
Uh...
76
00:02:56,919 --> 00:02:58,844
Eh? Uh...
77
00:02:58,921 --> 00:03:00,679
[groans]
78
00:03:00,830 --> 00:03:03,515
You're crying because they're
doing a podcast without you.
79
00:03:03,667 --> 00:03:05,091
Now here's your chance!
80
00:03:05,244 --> 00:03:06,743
So sit your butt in the chair
81
00:03:06,745 --> 00:03:09,188
and make with the reminiscing
with your friends from work.
82
00:03:09,264 --> 00:03:11,839
Yeah, my friends from work. I...
83
00:03:11,859 --> 00:03:14,026
[chuckles]
Yeah.
84
00:03:16,864 --> 00:03:17,921
[boing]
85
00:03:17,923 --> 00:03:19,198
[Mr. Teeny screeches]
86
00:03:19,274 --> 00:03:20,682
[sighs]
87
00:03:20,759 --> 00:03:23,184
♪
88
00:03:23,262 --> 00:03:24,594
We've solved every puzzle.
89
00:03:24,596 --> 00:03:27,021
Why can't we find
the key to open the door?
90
00:03:27,099 --> 00:03:28,707
We've never failed
an escape room,
91
00:03:28,784 --> 00:03:30,600
and we're not starting now.
92
00:03:30,619 --> 00:03:32,377
Forgive me, Selma.
93
00:03:32,529 --> 00:03:34,104
Hint!
94
00:03:34,197 --> 00:03:37,123
The bald man who hates you found the exit key 20 minutes ago
95
00:03:37,200 --> 00:03:40,201
and has been using it to scratch his butt out of spite.
96
00:03:40,203 --> 00:03:42,221
[blissfully]
Spite.
97
00:03:42,223 --> 00:03:44,614
-[sonar pings]
-Your mission has failed.
98
00:03:44,616 --> 00:03:47,617
The frozen sea has claimed your bodies,
99
00:03:47,619 --> 00:03:51,546
and your grieving children will be sent to the gulag.
100
00:03:51,548 --> 00:03:53,047
Happy birthday.
101
00:03:53,125 --> 00:03:54,474
We're dead?
102
00:03:54,551 --> 00:03:56,142
I'll kill you!
103
00:03:56,219 --> 00:03:59,196
-Separate! Separate!
-[others arguing indistinctly]
104
00:04:02,134 --> 00:04:04,743
[grunting]
105
00:04:04,894 --> 00:04:06,136
We did it, boys.
106
00:04:06,138 --> 00:04:07,579
We prayed our way out.
107
00:04:07,656 --> 00:04:09,473
[Rod and Todd]
Yay!
108
00:04:09,491 --> 00:04:11,625
Birthday ruined!
109
00:04:13,479 --> 00:04:16,846
[sighing deeply]
110
00:04:16,848 --> 00:04:18,114
Okay, so there we are,
111
00:04:18,166 --> 00:04:20,074
in the finals of the kids' show
softball league.
112
00:04:20,094 --> 00:04:22,594
-It is 110 degrees...
-[gasps] Huh?
113
00:04:22,671 --> 00:04:25,338
...and we're playing those
psycho cheaters from Bluey.
114
00:04:25,491 --> 00:04:29,326
They slide spikes up,
that's for sure.
115
00:04:29,344 --> 00:04:31,085
[laughter]
116
00:04:31,105 --> 00:04:33,105
And this is another activity
you missed out on
117
00:04:33,181 --> 00:04:34,547
with your work family?
118
00:04:34,549 --> 00:04:35,757
I wasn't invited.
119
00:04:35,834 --> 00:04:36,833
That's on them.
120
00:04:36,852 --> 00:04:38,335
Well, in our defense,
121
00:04:38,353 --> 00:04:41,021
you don't seem like you want
to do things with the crew.
122
00:04:41,097 --> 00:04:42,948
You don't look anyone
in the eye,
123
00:04:43,025 --> 00:04:44,950
you address people
by their shirt color--
124
00:04:45,027 --> 00:04:46,952
That's not true, Green Shirt!
125
00:04:47,103 --> 00:04:48,345
Herschella Krustofsky,
126
00:04:48,347 --> 00:04:51,105
you self-absorbed,
degenerate freak!
127
00:04:51,183 --> 00:04:53,941
You're a lonely, sad narcissist
128
00:04:53,943 --> 00:04:56,444
who has no connection
to his fellow man.
129
00:04:56,522 --> 00:04:58,964
You're an empty
Hollywood elitist clown
130
00:04:59,082 --> 00:05:01,041
who's gonna die alone
on a toilet
131
00:05:01,043 --> 00:05:03,043
kissing your own headshot!
132
00:05:03,137 --> 00:05:05,137
I don't know
how to connect with nobodies.
133
00:05:05,139 --> 00:05:06,638
It's not my fault.
134
00:05:06,790 --> 00:05:08,974
Listen up and listen good.
135
00:05:09,051 --> 00:05:11,977
The problem is you!
136
00:05:13,372 --> 00:05:16,389
[crying]
Oh, my God, you're right!
137
00:05:16,542 --> 00:05:17,649
I'm the problem!
138
00:05:17,726 --> 00:05:20,468
I worked with these good people
for 30 years,
139
00:05:20,546 --> 00:05:22,729
and I haven't made
a single friend!
140
00:05:22,806 --> 00:05:24,806
[crying]
141
00:05:24,808 --> 00:05:26,733
If I can't change,
142
00:05:26,810 --> 00:05:28,735
I'll never be happy!
143
00:05:28,812 --> 00:05:31,388
[crying]
144
00:05:31,406 --> 00:05:34,499
And we'll be back after
this word from 3 Day Clams,
145
00:05:34,576 --> 00:05:36,835
fresh clams from the sea
to your door
146
00:05:36,912 --> 00:05:39,087
in three business days.
147
00:05:40,415 --> 00:05:43,008
[Sadie]
Listen up and listen good.
148
00:05:43,085 --> 00:05:45,735
The problem is you!
149
00:05:45,754 --> 00:05:47,921
-Brake!
-[grunting]
150
00:05:47,923 --> 00:05:49,831
"The problem is you."
151
00:05:49,850 --> 00:05:51,408
[chuckles]
What a catchphrase!
152
00:05:51,426 --> 00:05:54,244
We could build an entire TV show
out of that.
153
00:05:54,262 --> 00:05:57,856
Krusty's brash, no-nonsense,
"tell it like it is" Aunt Sadie
154
00:05:57,933 --> 00:06:00,433
fixes broken relationships
in 30 minutes?
155
00:06:00,435 --> 00:06:03,937
Exactly. Like Judge Judy
but we get the money.
156
00:06:04,013 --> 00:06:07,348
All we have to do is choose the
heaviest metallic sound effect
157
00:06:07,350 --> 00:06:09,368
for when the title slams in.
158
00:06:09,519 --> 00:06:11,185
[clangs]
159
00:06:11,263 --> 00:06:13,113
[Krusty]
Coming up on The Problem Is You,
160
00:06:13,265 --> 00:06:16,600
Aunt Sadie faces her toughest challenge yet.
161
00:06:16,618 --> 00:06:18,693
And I'm there, too!
162
00:06:18,770 --> 00:06:22,029
What's hiding
behind those chuckles, hmm?
163
00:06:22,049 --> 00:06:26,276
Another glass of rosé
will not fix this.
164
00:06:26,278 --> 00:06:29,704
[Krusty]
And you won't believe where the final finger points.
165
00:06:29,723 --> 00:06:32,974
The problem is you!
166
00:06:34,136 --> 00:06:36,228
Hmm... hmm...
167
00:06:36,304 --> 00:06:40,214
Oh! Old Maid looks
20 years younger!
168
00:06:40,216 --> 00:06:42,976
Dad, I thought
you hated family game night.
169
00:06:43,052 --> 00:06:43,977
No.
170
00:06:44,129 --> 00:06:47,130
I hated
extended family game night
171
00:06:47,149 --> 00:06:49,149
with your evil, terrible aunts.
172
00:06:49,225 --> 00:06:50,984
Can you please make up
with them?
173
00:06:51,060 --> 00:06:53,227
We really need six people
to play
174
00:06:53,247 --> 00:06:56,139
The Three Duos
of Half-Dozen Mountain.
175
00:06:56,158 --> 00:06:58,065
Honey, if I could wave
a magic wand
176
00:06:58,143 --> 00:07:00,568
and make Patty and Selma
not suck, I would.
177
00:07:00,646 --> 00:07:04,089
But it's probably best we get
used to never seeing them again.
178
00:07:04,166 --> 00:07:05,590
[doorbell rings]
179
00:07:05,667 --> 00:07:07,092
[yelps]
Them!
180
00:07:07,169 --> 00:07:08,760
Where's Marge? Is she okay?
181
00:07:08,837 --> 00:07:11,746
She texted us she fell off
the roof cleaning the gutters.
182
00:07:11,748 --> 00:07:15,082
I lied about that
to get you all here together.
183
00:07:15,102 --> 00:07:16,993
I did clean the gutters, though.
184
00:07:17,012 --> 00:07:18,845
And I did fall off the roof.
185
00:07:18,922 --> 00:07:20,346
After all these years,
186
00:07:20,423 --> 00:07:24,017
it's obvious I can't get the
three of you to stop fighting.
187
00:07:24,093 --> 00:07:25,502
[tires screech]
188
00:07:25,504 --> 00:07:28,071
But I think
I found someone who can.
189
00:07:28,932 --> 00:07:31,766
Homer, Patty, Selma,
190
00:07:31,843 --> 00:07:33,343
by the time I'm done with you,
191
00:07:33,345 --> 00:07:35,862
you'll be as close
as a family can be.
192
00:07:35,939 --> 00:07:37,080
[all shriek]
193
00:07:41,611 --> 00:07:43,703
Marge, dear,
what's the who, why and how
194
00:07:43,780 --> 00:07:45,038
of this family row?
195
00:07:45,040 --> 00:07:47,132
Well, it's complicated.
196
00:07:47,250 --> 00:07:49,542
I hate jerks,
and they hate cool guys.
197
00:07:49,619 --> 00:07:50,710
End of story.
198
00:07:50,787 --> 00:07:52,712
We didn't like each other
from the start.
199
00:07:52,789 --> 00:07:57,458
But things got really ugly
at that fateful baby shower.
200
00:07:57,536 --> 00:08:00,628
[Selma]
We wanted that day to be perfect for our sister.
201
00:08:00,630 --> 00:08:03,056
-And it was.
-[Patty] Until this idiot
202
00:08:03,132 --> 00:08:05,892
botched the one and only job we'd given him.
203
00:08:05,969 --> 00:08:06,985
I got the cake!
204
00:08:07,062 --> 00:08:08,712
[yelping]
205
00:08:08,714 --> 00:08:10,380
We said a carrot cake!
206
00:08:10,382 --> 00:08:12,991
I know. But chocolate is
me and Marge's favorite.
207
00:08:12,993 --> 00:08:14,217
[hyperventilating]
208
00:08:14,219 --> 00:08:16,661
Luckily I brought
a backup carrot cake
209
00:08:16,738 --> 00:08:19,498
because I knew
the Impreginator here
210
00:08:19,500 --> 00:08:20,815
would screw it up.
211
00:08:20,817 --> 00:08:21,816
[Selma and Homer grunt]
212
00:08:21,893 --> 00:08:23,484
You undermining land hags!
213
00:08:23,562 --> 00:08:24,652
What's the matter?
214
00:08:24,730 --> 00:08:25,912
You tell these traitors
215
00:08:25,989 --> 00:08:28,006
that your favorite cake
is chocolate
216
00:08:28,008 --> 00:08:30,233
and that you despise carrot cake
217
00:08:30,235 --> 00:08:32,919
because it's a garden salad
with frosting!
218
00:08:33,071 --> 00:08:34,754
It's fine. It's fine.
219
00:08:34,831 --> 00:08:35,922
Please don't fight.
220
00:08:35,924 --> 00:08:37,757
[moaning]
221
00:08:37,759 --> 00:08:39,242
Mm-hmm. See? See?
222
00:08:39,244 --> 00:08:40,910
I like both cakes.
223
00:08:40,912 --> 00:08:41,928
No, she doesn't!
224
00:08:42,080 --> 00:08:43,763
Eat wrong cake!
225
00:08:43,840 --> 00:08:45,982
[grunting]
226
00:08:47,194 --> 00:08:49,085
[Marge]
It was at that moment I realized
227
00:08:49,087 --> 00:08:53,773
the only solution was to keepmy husband and sisters separated
228
00:08:53,775 --> 00:08:55,592
from then on.
229
00:08:55,610 --> 00:08:56,976
So, Marge, who was right?
230
00:08:57,054 --> 00:08:59,496
What is
your favorite cake flavor?
231
00:09:00,857 --> 00:09:02,648
It's neither! I like vanilla!
232
00:09:02,726 --> 00:09:03,783
Only vanilla!
233
00:09:03,860 --> 00:09:06,102
The less flavor, the better.
234
00:09:06,104 --> 00:09:08,380
Vanilla is the opposite
of chocolate!
235
00:09:08,456 --> 00:09:10,048
Carrot is the opposite of cake!
236
00:09:10,125 --> 00:09:12,776
Marge ruined her life
when she met you!
237
00:09:12,778 --> 00:09:15,887
Shut up! I've heard enough
of your bip-da-bip-da-bip!
238
00:09:15,889 --> 00:09:17,297
You three disgust me.
239
00:09:17,415 --> 00:09:19,949
May you walk
under a falling air conditioner.
240
00:09:19,951 --> 00:09:22,452
That said, the problem...
241
00:09:22,454 --> 00:09:23,636
is you!
242
00:09:23,713 --> 00:09:24,637
[all gasp]
243
00:09:24,639 --> 00:09:25,638
Me?
244
00:09:25,640 --> 00:09:27,123
How can I be the problem?
245
00:09:27,125 --> 00:09:28,958
I'm the Marge of this!
246
00:09:28,960 --> 00:09:30,460
Oh, please.
247
00:09:30,462 --> 00:09:32,553
If you actually wanted peace,
248
00:09:32,631 --> 00:09:34,314
you'd stop interfering.
249
00:09:34,466 --> 00:09:37,150
Let these three lunatics
work out their mishegoss
250
00:09:37,226 --> 00:09:38,743
among themselves.
251
00:09:38,745 --> 00:09:41,654
Why on earth
would I want them to fight?
252
00:09:41,731 --> 00:09:43,323
So you could be the martyr.
253
00:09:43,325 --> 00:09:46,567
You keep them separated
so they won't stop fighting.
254
00:09:46,569 --> 00:09:49,254
God forbid they should ever bury
the hatchet and, who knows...
255
00:09:49,331 --> 00:09:50,830
[chuckles]
become friends.
256
00:09:50,907 --> 00:09:54,818
Because then St. Marge
doesn't get to run the show.
257
00:09:54,820 --> 00:09:56,243
-[Marge] Aah!
-[clattering]
-[Santa's Little Helper howls]
258
00:09:56,263 --> 00:09:57,262
-[Lisa] Hey!
-[glass shatters]
-[Snowball II yowls]
259
00:09:57,264 --> 00:09:58,597
[Marge]
Lamp. [grunts]
260
00:09:58,599 --> 00:10:01,415
That's the craziest thing
I ever heard!
261
00:10:01,417 --> 00:10:02,508
I'm the nicest!
262
00:10:02,585 --> 00:10:03,918
I love everyone!
263
00:10:03,995 --> 00:10:06,104
Out! Out! Out, out! Get out!
264
00:10:06,181 --> 00:10:08,607
I un-sign all the waivers!
265
00:10:08,683 --> 00:10:10,500
Shh, shoo, shoo, shoo!
266
00:10:10,502 --> 00:10:14,520
This is what showbiz is
all about, huh, Wayne the Grip?
267
00:10:14,597 --> 00:10:15,505
The camaraderie.
268
00:10:15,507 --> 00:10:16,597
Huh? Why do you know my name?
269
00:10:16,675 --> 00:10:18,174
Please don't fire me.
270
00:10:18,176 --> 00:10:21,194
I need to support my stepson's
illegal street racing habit.
271
00:10:21,196 --> 00:10:23,622
Relax, my fruit-vaping friend.
272
00:10:23,624 --> 00:10:24,956
I'm just like you--
273
00:10:25,033 --> 00:10:27,367
a member of the crew family.
274
00:10:27,443 --> 00:10:29,461
Really? You always seemed
like you couldn't stand
275
00:10:29,537 --> 00:10:30,945
us below-the-line guys.
276
00:10:30,947 --> 00:10:32,613
[groans]
What I can't stand
277
00:10:32,691 --> 00:10:35,041
is that old-fashioned
Hollywood expression.
278
00:10:35,118 --> 00:10:38,044
Why should there be
some imaginary line separating
279
00:10:38,046 --> 00:10:39,379
the so-called "talent"
280
00:10:39,531 --> 00:10:41,622
from the hardworking riffraff
like you?
281
00:10:41,642 --> 00:10:46,144
If I could, I'd make it
so the line never existed.
282
00:10:46,146 --> 00:10:48,129
[chuckles]
That's pretty cool of you, man.
283
00:10:48,131 --> 00:10:51,541
You know, I'm hosting a crawfish
boil this weekend for the crew.
284
00:10:51,543 --> 00:10:52,709
You should come.
285
00:10:52,711 --> 00:10:54,711
You're inviting me
286
00:10:54,713 --> 00:10:56,637
to your that?
287
00:10:56,639 --> 00:10:58,156
Just watch out
for my friend Jimmy.
288
00:10:58,158 --> 00:11:00,808
He will flick you in the nuts
if you're not looking.
289
00:11:00,886 --> 00:11:03,386
I look forward to it.
290
00:11:03,388 --> 00:11:06,389
Where does that judgmental
old clown-aunt
291
00:11:06,391 --> 00:11:08,333
get off saying I'm the problem?
292
00:11:08,410 --> 00:11:11,077
How can I be the reason
you three don't get along?
293
00:11:11,229 --> 00:11:12,912
[chuckles]
That lady's off her rocker.
294
00:11:12,989 --> 00:11:14,321
Thank you, sweetie.
295
00:11:14,399 --> 00:11:16,916
You always know
how to agree with me.
296
00:11:16,993 --> 00:11:19,260
Yes, I do.
297
00:11:20,572 --> 00:11:22,422
[scoffs]
As if there were a world
298
00:11:22,498 --> 00:11:25,499
where I'd be friends
with my worst enemies.
299
00:11:25,501 --> 00:11:30,355
Hmm. Friends with Patty and Selma.
300
00:11:45,597 --> 00:11:47,688
What are you doing here, Homer?
301
00:11:47,766 --> 00:11:48,781
This isn't you.
302
00:11:48,875 --> 00:11:51,167
You're not this person.
303
00:11:51,937 --> 00:11:53,770
So, here we all are.
304
00:11:53,772 --> 00:11:56,606
If I could have stayed away,
I would have.
305
00:11:56,624 --> 00:11:58,107
Part of me wants to run.
306
00:11:58,109 --> 00:12:00,201
Part of me knows
I'm through running.
307
00:12:01,370 --> 00:12:04,464
Do you think there's any truth
to what the mean lady said,
308
00:12:04,616 --> 00:12:08,301
that we would be friends
if not for Marge?
309
00:12:08,303 --> 00:12:10,303
I know I don't want
to believe it.
310
00:12:10,379 --> 00:12:12,622
We need to figure out
if this is real.
311
00:12:12,624 --> 00:12:15,549
I know a place where
we can explore these feelings
312
00:12:15,627 --> 00:12:17,977
discreetly.
313
00:12:18,054 --> 00:12:21,197
Patty and Selma,
welcome to Moe's.
314
00:12:22,409 --> 00:12:25,151
Weird how the sunlight stops
at the doorway,
315
00:12:25,228 --> 00:12:26,970
like it's afraid to come in.
316
00:12:26,972 --> 00:12:29,748
Yeah, a scientist tried
to explain it one time
317
00:12:29,750 --> 00:12:31,207
and went crazy.
318
00:12:32,143 --> 00:12:33,493
[Moe]
Homer. Psst. Homer.
319
00:12:33,569 --> 00:12:36,162
Hey, I said "Psst."
320
00:12:36,239 --> 00:12:38,757
Who are these two goddesses?
321
00:12:38,833 --> 00:12:40,074
They're Marge's sisters.
322
00:12:40,151 --> 00:12:43,077
Midge has two hotter sisters?
323
00:12:43,154 --> 00:12:44,988
Patty and Selma.
324
00:12:44,990 --> 00:12:46,097
Pidge and Sidge?
325
00:12:46,174 --> 00:12:48,082
Well, yeah, they're twins.
326
00:12:48,159 --> 00:12:49,993
Oh, my God. Twins?
327
00:12:49,995 --> 00:12:51,752
I always dreamed of hooking up
with twins.
328
00:12:51,830 --> 00:12:55,589
Ever since I saw that old
commercial for the movie Twins.
329
00:12:55,667 --> 00:12:57,275
Patty's a lesbian,
so I don't think--
330
00:12:57,352 --> 00:13:00,094
And one of 'em has
zero interest in men?
331
00:13:00,113 --> 00:13:02,096
I think I'm in love over here.
332
00:13:02,098 --> 00:13:03,523
How could you keep this from me?
333
00:13:03,599 --> 00:13:04,741
How could you do it?
334
00:13:09,697 --> 00:13:12,290
[all murmuring]
335
00:13:12,367 --> 00:13:15,868
All these years we treated
each other like garbage.
336
00:13:15,945 --> 00:13:17,611
But it was Marge's fault.
337
00:13:17,689 --> 00:13:21,132
I hope we can find it
in ourselves to forgive her.
338
00:13:21,209 --> 00:13:23,951
Seeing as we're such great
people, we probably will.
339
00:13:24,029 --> 00:13:27,263
To the three... amigos?
340
00:13:28,366 --> 00:13:32,793
Four. You're so fat,
you count twice.
341
00:13:32,871 --> 00:13:34,053
Zing!
342
00:13:34,130 --> 00:13:35,872
-[all laughing]
-Twice.
343
00:13:35,874 --> 00:13:39,225
Said the spinster with
a toilet brush for a head.
344
00:13:39,302 --> 00:13:40,819
Zing!
345
00:13:40,895 --> 00:13:42,061
[all laughing]
346
00:13:42,063 --> 00:13:43,379
-Good one.
-Now that we're buddies,
347
00:13:43,381 --> 00:13:47,075
our horrible insults
are just delightful zings.
348
00:13:48,644 --> 00:13:50,720
Look, Homer, it's your head.
349
00:13:50,738 --> 00:13:52,722
It's even got your IQ.
350
00:13:52,724 --> 00:13:53,814
Zing!
351
00:13:53,892 --> 00:13:55,816
[metallic scraping]
352
00:13:55,894 --> 00:14:00,821
[Homer straining]
It's like I'm being crushed
by two sacks of wet mail.
353
00:14:00,823 --> 00:14:02,757
[Patty and Selma]
Zing!
354
00:14:05,011 --> 00:14:06,919
Did you have to audition
for this part
355
00:14:06,921 --> 00:14:08,921
or did your agent
just get a call?
356
00:14:08,923 --> 00:14:10,473
[whispers]
Zing.
357
00:14:11,743 --> 00:14:14,594
38 minutes. No hints.
358
00:14:14,670 --> 00:14:16,670
I stayed out of the way.
359
00:14:16,748 --> 00:14:18,005
Homer?
360
00:14:18,083 --> 00:14:19,432
[all yelp]
Marge!
361
00:14:19,434 --> 00:14:23,252
[muffled] Dad, are you hanging
out with Patty and Selma?
362
00:14:23,254 --> 00:14:25,512
-[laughing nervously]
-No, the thing is...
363
00:14:25,514 --> 00:14:27,348
It seems like you guys
are friends.
364
00:14:27,425 --> 00:14:29,534
-[stammering nervously]
-Wh-Why would I...
365
00:14:29,611 --> 00:14:33,520
If you guys are getting along
without me,
366
00:14:33,598 --> 00:14:35,781
the problem is me.
367
00:14:35,783 --> 00:14:37,625
[clangs]
368
00:14:43,049 --> 00:14:44,790
-Open. Open.
-[munching]
369
00:14:44,867 --> 00:14:45,884
Friends.
370
00:14:45,886 --> 00:14:47,201
[Patty]
Unlikely friends.
371
00:14:47,203 --> 00:14:49,053
[Homer]
Remember, no splashing.
372
00:14:49,130 --> 00:14:50,889
-[water splashing]
-[laughing] Oh, no.
373
00:14:51,040 --> 00:14:53,633
Mom, you should go down
and join them.
374
00:14:53,635 --> 00:14:55,118
No, I'd only cause trouble
375
00:14:55,136 --> 00:14:56,877
because I'm the problem.
376
00:14:56,955 --> 00:14:57,729
[worried grunt]
377
00:14:57,805 --> 00:15:00,123
Of course you're not.
378
00:15:00,125 --> 00:15:01,882
No, I am. It's fine, though.
379
00:15:01,960 --> 00:15:04,218
Your father and my sisters
getting along was my dream
380
00:15:04,295 --> 00:15:05,962
and it happened
and now my life is perfect.
381
00:15:05,964 --> 00:15:07,463
Hooray for TV therapy.
382
00:15:07,482 --> 00:15:08,764
Hooray, hooray, hooray.
383
00:15:08,800 --> 00:15:10,724
So perfect that you're up here
watching them
384
00:15:10,802 --> 00:15:13,970
while you refold laundry
that's already been folded.
385
00:15:13,972 --> 00:15:16,656
Maybe I don't do things right
the first time.
386
00:15:16,732 --> 00:15:18,750
Or any time.
387
00:15:18,826 --> 00:15:19,976
[Marge groaning]
388
00:15:19,978 --> 00:15:22,253
Bart! Mom has candy!
389
00:15:22,330 --> 00:15:24,238
Candy, candy, candy,
candy, candy.
390
00:15:24,257 --> 00:15:25,757
[groaning continues]
391
00:15:25,759 --> 00:15:27,425
[sobbing]
392
00:15:27,502 --> 00:15:30,503
I ruined everything.
393
00:15:30,579 --> 00:15:33,389
Candy?
394
00:15:34,492 --> 00:15:36,100
[tires screech]
395
00:15:37,586 --> 00:15:40,229
[groans]
396
00:15:41,683 --> 00:15:43,924
Krusty, you made it.
397
00:15:43,926 --> 00:15:46,110
Like I'm not gonna
drive three hours
398
00:15:46,112 --> 00:15:48,504
to be with my crew family.
399
00:15:48,506 --> 00:15:51,524
You got a little water prison
for the kids. Nice.
400
00:15:51,526 --> 00:15:52,842
Oh, it's a pool.
401
00:15:52,844 --> 00:15:55,845
No, pools go in the ground.
402
00:15:55,847 --> 00:15:57,196
Oh, you got to meet
my neighbors.
403
00:15:57,198 --> 00:15:58,848
That's Phil. He's a cop.
404
00:15:58,850 --> 00:15:59,940
Joe, cop.
405
00:16:00,018 --> 00:16:01,851
Uh, cop, cop, cop.
406
00:16:01,853 --> 00:16:04,370
Uh, I love law enforcement.
407
00:16:04,372 --> 00:16:05,964
And laws.
408
00:16:07,116 --> 00:16:09,041
Hey! Little help, K-dawg?
409
00:16:09,118 --> 00:16:10,710
Oh! I can do this.
410
00:16:10,786 --> 00:16:12,862
I bet on this sport.
411
00:16:12,864 --> 00:16:14,547
[grunts]
412
00:16:14,623 --> 00:16:17,049
[guests gasping]
413
00:16:17,051 --> 00:16:18,792
[children screaming]
414
00:16:18,870 --> 00:16:21,795
[crying]
415
00:16:21,873 --> 00:16:24,232
Walk it off, Jayden.
Walk it off.
416
00:16:27,320 --> 00:16:31,047
The dunes
are calling your name, bro!
417
00:16:31,049 --> 00:16:32,898
[grunting]
418
00:16:32,975 --> 00:16:34,975
-[laughter]
-[cheering]
419
00:16:35,053 --> 00:16:36,494
My stepson's stepson,
420
00:16:36,571 --> 00:16:38,663
he built this baby out
of boat parts!
421
00:16:38,740 --> 00:16:42,333
So, no brakes or safety features
to weigh you down.
422
00:16:42,410 --> 00:16:44,227
Smart.
423
00:16:44,229 --> 00:16:45,319
Is there a helmet?
424
00:16:45,396 --> 00:16:48,064
Statistically,
you're safer without one.
425
00:16:48,066 --> 00:16:49,823
Got to do your own research.
426
00:16:49,843 --> 00:16:51,917
Okay, I can do this.
427
00:16:51,919 --> 00:16:54,512
Just take it slow and steady.
428
00:16:56,516 --> 00:16:58,758
-[yelps]
-[crashes]
429
00:16:58,760 --> 00:17:00,910
Hey, the CPR worked!
430
00:17:00,912 --> 00:17:03,670
And when your heart stopped,
which heaven did you see?
431
00:17:03,748 --> 00:17:07,191
Jet Ski paintball next weekend
at Concrete Lake, K-dawg!
432
00:17:07,268 --> 00:17:08,084
You in?
433
00:17:08,086 --> 00:17:10,361
Wouldn't miss it.
434
00:17:12,423 --> 00:17:13,773
[announcer]
It's The Problem Is You
435
00:17:13,849 --> 00:17:16,776
Season Finale Reunion Special!
436
00:17:16,852 --> 00:17:18,703
[cheering, applause]
437
00:17:19,764 --> 00:17:21,097
Welcome!
438
00:17:21,099 --> 00:17:24,691
On our first hit season,
we solved a lot of problems.
439
00:17:24,711 --> 00:17:26,026
And here they are now!
440
00:17:26,104 --> 00:17:27,286
[audience cheers]
441
00:17:27,363 --> 00:17:29,622
So, how's everybody doing?
442
00:17:30,625 --> 00:17:32,958
Yes, well, when you find out
that you're the problem,
443
00:17:33,035 --> 00:17:34,201
even though
you could have sworn--
444
00:17:34,279 --> 00:17:36,537
and I mean with every fiber
of your being--
445
00:17:36,614 --> 00:17:39,206
that it was the other guy,
it's very, well,
446
00:17:39,284 --> 00:17:41,375
I don't know, freeing?
I don't know.
447
00:17:41,394 --> 00:17:43,394
I was so controlling
of Percival.
448
00:17:43,396 --> 00:17:46,397
But now I just let him
roam free.
449
00:17:46,474 --> 00:17:49,383
Oh, Aunt Sadie,
you changed all our lives.
450
00:17:49,385 --> 00:17:53,145
Once you helped Marge step back
from decades of sabotaging us,
451
00:17:53,147 --> 00:17:54,964
it's been so good for her.
452
00:17:54,966 --> 00:17:56,741
-Right, honey?
-That's right.
453
00:17:56,743 --> 00:17:58,150
I'm gonna be honest.
454
00:17:58,227 --> 00:17:59,744
There was a time when I thought
455
00:17:59,895 --> 00:18:02,062
maybe we were doing
something wrong.
456
00:18:02,140 --> 00:18:04,865
But we were
completely blameless.
457
00:18:04,976 --> 00:18:06,267
Not me. I'm to blame.
458
00:18:06,344 --> 00:18:07,752
The problem is Marge.
459
00:18:07,829 --> 00:18:11,071
All those things that used to
bother me about Marge's sisters,
460
00:18:11,149 --> 00:18:12,665
they just don't anymore.
461
00:18:12,667 --> 00:18:14,258
I can remember, for example,
462
00:18:14,260 --> 00:18:15,985
when I wouldn't be able to stand
463
00:18:15,987 --> 00:18:18,078
the way he's breathing
right now.
464
00:18:18,156 --> 00:18:20,506
Oh. W-Was I breathing loud?
465
00:18:20,583 --> 00:18:21,340
I'm sorry.
466
00:18:21,417 --> 00:18:22,658
Doesn't bother me either.
467
00:18:22,660 --> 00:18:25,845
Good, because the cigarette ash
in your eyebrows
468
00:18:25,921 --> 00:18:26,920
doesn't bother me.
469
00:18:26,998 --> 00:18:28,272
I'm not sitting here, thinking,
470
00:18:28,349 --> 00:18:30,608
"How could there be
so much of it?"
471
00:18:30,759 --> 00:18:31,667
[Selma and Patty murmur]
472
00:18:31,686 --> 00:18:33,185
Kumiko, tell me,
473
00:18:33,262 --> 00:18:36,021
is your husband still skipping
the episode "previously on"s
474
00:18:36,098 --> 00:18:37,764
even though you find them
helpful?
475
00:18:37,766 --> 00:18:40,509
You want to know something else
that doesn't bother me?
476
00:18:40,511 --> 00:18:43,696
That he only cuts his
fingernails on his left hand.
477
00:18:43,772 --> 00:18:47,291
I'm a righty, so I can't use
the clippers with my left!
478
00:18:47,293 --> 00:18:51,036
Again, it doesn't bother us.
479
00:18:51,038 --> 00:18:52,688
[chuckling nervously]
480
00:18:52,690 --> 00:18:54,948
Marge, you want to step in here?
481
00:18:55,026 --> 00:18:56,467
You mean separate you?
482
00:18:56,544 --> 00:18:58,085
Oh, no. No, not me.
483
00:18:58,196 --> 00:19:00,596
I don't do that anymore.
484
00:19:06,128 --> 00:19:07,794
You disgust me!
485
00:19:07,872 --> 00:19:09,147
-Groom yourself!
-You first!
486
00:19:09,298 --> 00:19:12,208
You don't yell at
a reunion show, you sick morons!
487
00:19:12,210 --> 00:19:14,819
Look at these losers I cured.
488
00:19:14,896 --> 00:19:16,803
Cheapskate-- fixed!
489
00:19:16,805 --> 00:19:18,898
Daddy issues-- fixed!
490
00:19:18,974 --> 00:19:19,991
Impotent--
491
00:19:20,067 --> 00:19:21,717
came to terms with.
492
00:19:21,719 --> 00:19:23,219
[Kirk sighs]
493
00:19:23,221 --> 00:19:24,645
You fixed nothing!
494
00:19:24,664 --> 00:19:28,148
You plaster over real problems
with an easy catchphrase.
495
00:19:28,226 --> 00:19:31,243
These three have hated each
other since the moment they met,
496
00:19:31,245 --> 00:19:32,912
and all you did
was give them a reason
497
00:19:32,988 --> 00:19:34,955
to not feel guilty about it.
498
00:19:35,066 --> 00:19:37,566
Don't talk to me about guilt.
499
00:19:37,568 --> 00:19:39,010
I invented guilt!
500
00:19:39,086 --> 00:19:41,662
No! It's my turn to yell!
501
00:19:41,739 --> 00:19:43,739
And point and point and point!
502
00:19:43,741 --> 00:19:46,333
You can't solve relationships
in 30 minutes.
503
00:19:46,411 --> 00:19:49,520
It requires years
of constant hard work
504
00:19:49,597 --> 00:19:53,024
and deep self-reflection
from all parties!
505
00:19:53,100 --> 00:19:56,419
I didn't sign up
for self-reflection.
506
00:19:56,421 --> 00:19:58,771
Now you want me
to work at my marriage?
507
00:19:58,847 --> 00:20:00,013
Oh, I'm leaving you.
508
00:20:00,091 --> 00:20:01,941
And I'm taking the pugs!
509
00:20:02,093 --> 00:20:04,685
[overlapping arguing]
510
00:20:04,704 --> 00:20:06,262
I'm Marge Simpson,
511
00:20:06,280 --> 00:20:09,040
and the problem is not me.
512
00:20:09,191 --> 00:20:10,357
I see it now.
513
00:20:10,435 --> 00:20:12,117
The problem's not me either.
514
00:20:12,270 --> 00:20:15,046
I was wrong to try
to form human connections
515
00:20:15,197 --> 00:20:17,048
with the people
that work for me!
516
00:20:17,199 --> 00:20:19,458
Well, I don't think
that's the lesson.
517
00:20:19,460 --> 00:20:22,703
Why should I spend time
with anyone below the line?!
518
00:20:22,722 --> 00:20:24,871
The line is there for a reason.
519
00:20:24,891 --> 00:20:26,799
The line is an absolute good!
520
00:20:26,951 --> 00:20:29,209
The line is life!
521
00:20:29,287 --> 00:20:31,395
I always knew
that guy was a phony.
522
00:20:31,472 --> 00:20:34,899
Hey, let's go rub our butts
on his sushi.
523
00:20:35,050 --> 00:20:36,234
Don't you leave me!
524
00:20:36,310 --> 00:20:39,962
I've got an hour to fill
with you mental cases!
525
00:20:39,964 --> 00:20:42,365
[growls]
526
00:20:43,801 --> 00:20:47,078
You need my yelling!
527
00:20:50,399 --> 00:20:53,008
I'm so sorry
for your loss, Krusty.
528
00:20:53,010 --> 00:20:55,402
Who said you could talk to me?
529
00:20:55,480 --> 00:20:57,255
Oh! Here we go.
530
00:20:57,257 --> 00:20:58,739
That's Jimmy!
531
00:20:58,816 --> 00:21:00,258
Captioning sponsored by
20th CENTURY FOX TELEVISION
532
00:21:00,334 --> 00:21:02,334
and FOX BROADCASTING COMPANY
533
00:21:02,411 --> 00:21:03,836
and TOYOTA.
534
00:21:03,912 --> 00:21:05,972
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
access.wgbh.org
535
00:21:11,587 --> 00:21:14,346
[Sideshow Mel] If you're like me and you love shellfish
536
00:21:14,423 --> 00:21:15,848
and you're not in a hurry, did you know that 94% of clams
537
00:21:15,850 --> 00:21:19,184
are perfectly safe to eat after three business days?
538
00:21:19,186 --> 00:21:21,445
So the next time it's Wednesday
539
00:21:21,522 --> 00:21:24,782
and you feel like having clams on the following Monday,
540
00:21:24,784 --> 00:21:27,285
visit 3DayClams.com.
541
00:21:27,287 --> 00:21:29,269
Order a dozen littlenecks
542
00:21:29,347 --> 00:21:30,955
and get a shucker for free.
543
00:21:31,032 --> 00:21:33,015
Though with three-day-old clams,
544
00:21:33,017 --> 00:21:35,851
they practically open themselves.
545
00:21:35,853 --> 00:21:38,187
One taste and you'll say, "Wow,
546
00:21:38,189 --> 00:21:41,373
these clams are fresh enough."
547
00:21:41,450 --> 00:21:44,618
Consult your physician before ordering 3 Day Clams.
548
00:21:44,695 --> 00:21:47,029
See terms and restrictions at 3DayClams.com.
549
00:21:47,031 --> 00:21:50,975
Delivery and/or food poisoningconcerns? Call 1-555-CLAM-HELP.
550
00:21:51,052 --> 00:21:53,052
-Shh!
-3 Day Clams is not an endorsement
551
00:21:53,128 --> 00:21:55,062
of eating three-day-old clams.
39207
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