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1
00:00:12,545 --> 00:00:15,682
Hey,
everybody, it's closing time.
2
00:00:15,715 --> 00:00:19,552
You don't gotta go home,
but you can't stay here.
3
00:00:21,121 --> 00:00:23,056
Whoo!
4
00:00:24,357 --> 00:00:26,426
* Closing time *
5
00:00:26,459 --> 00:00:30,530
Every office needs
an end of the day tradition.
6
00:00:30,563 --> 00:00:32,332
Something to tell you
the day is over.
7
00:00:32,365 --> 00:00:33,566
Otherwise you go home
8
00:00:33,600 --> 00:00:34,567
and the night just feels
like more day.
9
00:00:34,601 --> 00:00:35,669
It's weird.
10
00:00:35,702 --> 00:00:38,405
* Closing time *
11
00:00:38,438 --> 00:00:40,674
* Turn all of the lights on *
12
00:00:40,707 --> 00:00:45,779
* Over every boy
and every girl *
13
00:00:45,812 --> 00:00:47,414
* Closing time *
14
00:00:47,447 --> 00:00:48,715
W.R.K.
15
00:00:48,748 --> 00:00:50,817
* One last call for alcohol *
16
00:00:50,850 --> 00:00:53,687
* So finish your whiskey
and beer *
17
00:00:53,720 --> 00:00:55,622
Oh, my boss is singing
"Closing Time."
18
00:00:55,655 --> 00:00:56,690
Maybe that's what
you're hearing.
19
00:00:56,723 --> 00:00:58,391
- Come on, Pam!
- Okay.
20
00:00:58,425 --> 00:01:00,226
both: * Closing time *
21
00:01:00,260 --> 00:01:07,167
* Time for you to go home
to the places you will be from *
22
00:01:07,200 --> 00:01:11,171
Let's see. Andy has been
manager for 105 days.
23
00:01:11,204 --> 00:01:13,707
Which means I've heard
"Closing Time"
24
00:01:13,740 --> 00:01:16,810
105 times.
25
00:01:16,843 --> 00:01:19,379
Still don't know the words.
26
00:01:19,412 --> 00:01:23,817
* Ah wah dah wah home
and home and home *
27
00:01:23,850 --> 00:01:25,285
* Closing time *
28
00:01:25,318 --> 00:01:26,886
It's not 5:00 yet, Oscar.
29
00:01:26,920 --> 00:01:28,855
* Have to go home *
30
00:01:28,888 --> 00:01:34,160
* But you can't stay here *
31
00:01:34,194 --> 00:01:39,466
* I know who I want
to take me home *
32
00:01:39,499 --> 00:01:44,704
* I know who I want to
take me home *
33
00:01:44,738 --> 00:01:49,409
* I know who I want
to take me home *
34
00:01:49,442 --> 00:01:53,446
* Take me home *
35
00:01:53,480 --> 00:01:55,281
You know what?
Fine!
36
00:01:55,315 --> 00:01:56,816
I try to start fun traditions
for you guys,
37
00:01:56,850 --> 00:02:00,453
but if you don't wanna sing,
no traditions!
38
00:02:00,487 --> 00:02:02,956
* Closing time *
39
00:02:02,989 --> 00:02:05,191
* Every new beginning *
40
00:02:05,225 --> 00:02:07,293
I never heard that song before.
41
00:02:07,327 --> 00:02:10,230
And once I heard it,
I did not care for it.
42
00:02:10,263 --> 00:02:12,766
But that songs means
it's time to go home.
43
00:02:12,799 --> 00:02:15,935
Now it's my favorite song.
44
00:02:15,969 --> 00:02:18,271
both:
* Every new beginning *
45
00:02:18,304 --> 00:02:23,376
* Comes from some other
beginning's end *
46
00:02:23,410 --> 00:02:25,412
Good night.
47
00:02:33,820 --> 00:02:40,960
{\an8}* *
48
00:02:53,340 --> 00:02:55,241
Robert.
49
00:02:55,275 --> 00:02:56,876
Do you wanna smoke pipes
during our meeting?
50
00:02:56,910 --> 00:03:00,647
Let's wait until we have
something to smoke about.
51
00:03:00,680 --> 00:03:02,415
Yes. Of course.
52
00:03:02,449 --> 00:03:03,750
Erin.
53
00:03:04,584 --> 00:03:07,520
{\an8}- Andy, maybe I could sit in
on this with you.
54
00:03:07,554 --> 00:03:09,989
{\an8}You know, that way, I can cover
you in case you need to urinate
55
00:03:10,023 --> 00:03:12,359
{\an8}or you just want
another opinion.
56
00:03:12,392 --> 00:03:13,526
{\an8}Or defecate.
57
00:03:13,560 --> 00:03:14,594
{\an8}I don't think so.
58
00:03:14,627 --> 00:03:15,929
{\an8}Well, I just thought
59
00:03:15,962 --> 00:03:17,964
{\an8}with my new increased
responsibilities and all...
60
00:03:17,997 --> 00:03:21,301
{\an8}- Yeah, I'm still figuring out
the two-man bobsled here.
61
00:03:21,334 --> 00:03:23,470
{\an8}So let's hold off
on the D-man for now.
62
00:03:34,347 --> 00:03:36,916
{\an8}- Who's your favorite iron chef?
This report is atrocious.
63
00:03:36,950 --> 00:03:39,986
{\an8}You go first.
64
00:03:40,020 --> 00:03:42,856
{\an8}- The ticketing software
paints a picture
65
00:03:42,889 --> 00:03:47,994
{\an8}of a sloppy, careless,
error-prone office.
66
00:03:48,028 --> 00:03:51,431
{\an8}- Well, the monitoring software
is a double-edged sword.
67
00:03:51,464 --> 00:03:53,700
{\an8}- Sometimes the infer--
Sorry. Go ahead.
68
00:03:53,733 --> 00:03:55,835
{\an8}Mm-hmm.
69
00:03:57,737 --> 00:04:00,373
{\an8}- Did you need something
from us?
70
00:04:00,407 --> 00:04:02,742
{\an8}Yes.
71
00:04:02,776 --> 00:04:04,811
{\an8}
Your attention.
72
00:04:04,844 --> 00:04:07,380
{\an8}Uh, because...
73
00:04:08,882 --> 00:04:11,918
{\an8}No. That is all.
74
00:04:17,490 --> 00:04:20,060
{\an8}Last night,
I dreamed that the number two
75
00:04:20,093 --> 00:04:22,862
{\an8}was the most valued number
in the world.
76
00:04:22,896 --> 00:04:25,732
{\an8}The vice president had
all the power,
77
00:04:25,765 --> 00:04:27,901
{\an8}athletes fought
for silver medals.
78
00:04:27,934 --> 00:04:30,103
{\an8}Women were considered
the best gender.
79
00:04:30,136 --> 00:04:34,307
{\an8}And stadiums of fans shouted
"we're number 2!"
80
00:04:35,942 --> 00:04:37,510
{\an8}As with all my dreams,
81
00:04:37,544 --> 00:04:40,847
{\an8}I'm guessing it was
about my fear of immigrants.
82
00:04:40,880 --> 00:04:43,083
{\an8}- Last week,
an accounting mistake
83
00:04:43,116 --> 00:04:44,918
{\an8}resulted in a client getting
their order for free.
84
00:04:44,951 --> 00:04:47,420
{\an8}Oof! That's not good.
85
00:04:47,454 --> 00:04:49,856
{\an8}Chalk that one up to Tweedledee
and Tweedledum out there.
86
00:04:49,889 --> 00:04:52,125
{\an8}- Who are they?
They're both Kevin.
87
00:04:52,158 --> 00:04:54,494
{\an8}Oscar is the
"Sex and the City" gang.
88
00:04:54,527 --> 00:04:56,396
{\an8}And Angela,
if you can picture--
89
00:04:56,429 --> 00:04:59,632
{\an8}- Sometimes I feel like
you don't know me at all.
90
00:04:59,666 --> 00:05:01,067
I would agree with that.
91
00:05:01,101 --> 00:05:03,436
Simply end the mistakes.
92
00:05:03,470 --> 00:05:04,704
End the mistakes.
Easy.
93
00:05:04,738 --> 00:05:06,940
When I come back next week
and this report
94
00:05:06,973 --> 00:05:09,109
show me no mistakes,
95
00:05:09,142 --> 00:05:11,978
we can talk about names
all day.
96
00:05:12,012 --> 00:05:14,948
Our favorite names,
silly made-up names,
97
00:05:14,981 --> 00:05:17,617
normal names said
in a silly voice.
98
00:05:17,650 --> 00:05:18,852
Wouldn't that be nice?
99
00:05:18,885 --> 00:05:21,721
- I would like that.
- End the mistakes.
100
00:05:21,755 --> 00:05:24,024
That's all I ask.
101
00:05:25,158 --> 00:05:27,660
And you can't have
a favorite iron chef.
102
00:05:27,694 --> 00:05:31,031
It depends entirely
on the secret ingredient.
103
00:05:31,064 --> 00:05:36,369
Sometimes I feel
you don't know food at all.
104
00:05:39,906 --> 00:05:41,541
I'm just saying
with the NBA lock-out,
105
00:05:41,574 --> 00:05:43,743
I think roller derby's in
a really good place right now.
106
00:05:43,777 --> 00:05:47,681
So my pitch is me, Pam, you,
and someone else--
107
00:05:47,714 --> 00:05:49,849
- maybe Justine.
- Bah!
108
00:05:49,883 --> 00:05:51,918
Nope. Not Justine.
109
00:05:51,951 --> 00:05:53,186
Never Justine.
110
00:05:53,219 --> 00:05:55,121
- Is that off again?
- Oh, yeah.
111
00:05:55,155 --> 00:05:56,690
- Okay.
- Hey.
112
00:05:56,723 --> 00:05:58,858
Mandatory warehouse
safety meeting today.
113
00:05:58,892 --> 00:06:01,861
Uh, we don't really do those.
We just sign the thing.
114
00:06:01,895 --> 00:06:05,665
Are you really this lazy?
115
00:06:05,699 --> 00:06:08,635
I'll be there.
116
00:06:08,668 --> 00:06:10,870
- Hey.
- Hey.
117
00:06:10,904 --> 00:06:12,806
Mondays suck.
118
00:06:12,839 --> 00:06:17,043
Yep.
119
00:06:17,077 --> 00:06:19,879
I'm just trying to--
120
00:06:19,913 --> 00:06:21,715
thanks.
121
00:06:21,748 --> 00:06:26,019
I may have a little solution
to our mistakes problem.
122
00:06:26,052 --> 00:06:27,620
This is a project
I've been working on
123
00:06:27,654 --> 00:06:28,488
for quite some time.
124
00:06:28,521 --> 00:06:30,790
And today might be the day
to use it.
125
00:06:30,824 --> 00:06:32,559
What do you got?
126
00:06:32,592 --> 00:06:34,961
Allow me.
127
00:06:37,030 --> 00:06:40,066
You're gonna love this.
128
00:06:40,100 --> 00:06:42,068
Ah, I should've used
a shorter string.
129
00:06:42,102 --> 00:06:43,670
Never mind.
I know it by heart.
130
00:06:43,703 --> 00:06:46,172
It is a system
that holds people accountable
131
00:06:46,206 --> 00:06:48,008
for everyone else's work.
132
00:06:48,041 --> 00:06:49,576
Sounds controversial.
133
00:06:49,609 --> 00:06:52,512
Have I not been worthy
of your trust?
134
00:06:52,545 --> 00:06:54,814
Have I not been
a reliable number two?
135
00:06:54,848 --> 00:06:57,517
Do not go there!
136
00:06:57,550 --> 00:06:59,819
You're the deuce
I never wanna drop.
137
00:06:59,853 --> 00:07:02,522
Well, I can make this work.
138
00:07:02,555 --> 00:07:04,524
I'll set it up right now.
I just need your go-ahead.
139
00:07:04,557 --> 00:07:07,494
Go do the voodoo
and you do so well.
140
00:07:07,527 --> 00:07:10,230
- I will do my voodoo.
- Mm-hmm.
141
00:07:16,102 --> 00:07:17,637
Maybe this is it.
142
00:07:17,671 --> 00:07:20,106
Maybe I finally have a boss
who will respect my ideas
143
00:07:20,140 --> 00:07:22,842
and let me try stuff.
144
00:07:22,876 --> 00:07:25,078
Shaking.
145
00:07:25,111 --> 00:07:27,213
It's a good shake.
146
00:07:27,247 --> 00:07:29,582
Why am I talking to you?
147
00:07:29,616 --> 00:07:31,017
Hey.
148
00:07:31,051 --> 00:07:32,619
I need you to get
the paperwork rolling
149
00:07:32,652 --> 00:07:33,887
on a new workplace
relationship.
150
00:07:33,920 --> 00:07:36,222
- For you?
- Yes, for Gabe.
151
00:07:36,256 --> 00:07:37,323
Who are you seeing?
That's great.
152
00:07:37,357 --> 00:07:40,894
Whom I'm seeing is Val
from down in the warehouse.
153
00:07:40,927 --> 00:07:42,262
Oh.
154
00:07:42,295 --> 00:07:44,964
I'm not technically seeing
her, but I've seen her--
155
00:07:44,998 --> 00:07:47,167
with the eyes--
and there was attraction
156
00:07:47,200 --> 00:07:51,071
in at least one direction, so...
157
00:07:51,104 --> 00:07:52,939
You know, I don't have
to do paperwork
158
00:07:52,972 --> 00:07:54,607
unless you're actually dating.
159
00:07:54,641 --> 00:07:57,744
Okay, well, once this starts,
it's gonna be moving fast.
160
00:07:57,777 --> 00:07:59,045
It's gonna be hot and heavy,
161
00:07:59,079 --> 00:08:00,947
and I don't want a bunch
of bureaucratic red tape
162
00:08:00,980 --> 00:08:01,848
wrapped around my jock,
you know?
163
00:08:01,881 --> 00:08:04,951
But I mean,
have you talked to her?
164
00:08:04,984 --> 00:08:07,754
Yeah, we had a whole
conversation about Mondays.
165
00:08:07,787 --> 00:08:10,290
Do you know her last name yet?
166
00:08:10,323 --> 00:08:12,192
Toby, I'm gonna tell you
her last name tomorrow
167
00:08:12,225 --> 00:08:14,294
because she's gonna be
screaming it tonight.
168
00:08:14,327 --> 00:08:16,029
She's gonna be screaming
her own last name?
169
00:08:16,062 --> 00:08:19,199
Hey. Watch it.
170
00:08:19,232 --> 00:08:20,900
Good luck, Gabe.
171
00:08:20,934 --> 00:08:22,702
- Hi, guys.
- Hi.
172
00:08:22,736 --> 00:08:24,571
I just wanna say
that you all
173
00:08:24,604 --> 00:08:26,573
have been doing amazing work,
really.
174
00:08:26,606 --> 00:08:27,874
Thank you.
175
00:08:27,907 --> 00:08:30,343
And I'd like to add that your
work has been a little sloppy.
176
00:08:30,377 --> 00:08:34,247
So Dwight and I have implemented
a new program
177
00:08:34,280 --> 00:08:37,183
that we like to call--
Dwight?
178
00:08:37,217 --> 00:08:38,985
The accountability booster.
179
00:08:39,019 --> 00:08:41,888
It registers every time
a mistake has been made
180
00:08:41,921 --> 00:08:43,189
in the office,
181
00:08:43,223 --> 00:08:45,592
from a late delivery to
an accounting error.
182
00:08:45,625 --> 00:08:49,162
Five strikes in a day
equals a homerun.
183
00:08:49,195 --> 00:08:51,965
One home run and you're out.
184
00:08:51,998 --> 00:08:54,934
If we as a group make
five mistakes in a day,
185
00:08:54,968 --> 00:08:58,271
something bad happens,
like we block Minesweeper.
186
00:08:58,304 --> 00:09:01,675
Or we spoil an episode
of your favorite TV show.
187
00:09:01,708 --> 00:09:04,210
Or worst of all,
188
00:09:04,244 --> 00:09:07,681
the disapproving Andy face.
189
00:09:07,714 --> 00:09:08,581
Or in this case,
190
00:09:08,615 --> 00:09:10,650
an email gets sent
to Robert California
191
00:09:10,684 --> 00:09:12,118
containing the consultant's
report from last year.
192
00:09:12,152 --> 00:09:13,286
Remember the one that
recommended
193
00:09:13,319 --> 00:09:15,155
the branch be shut down?
194
00:09:15,188 --> 00:09:18,158
And as a failsafe also
every negative email
195
00:09:18,191 --> 00:09:19,759
you've ever written about him
to the group
196
00:09:19,793 --> 00:09:21,094
will also be forwarded
to him.
197
00:09:21,127 --> 00:09:22,929
What emails
are you talking about?
198
00:09:22,962 --> 00:09:25,198
"Robert's favorite songs:
'Creep' by TLC,
199
00:09:25,231 --> 00:09:27,000
'Creep' by Radiohead."
200
00:09:27,033 --> 00:09:28,768
Remember that one, Jim?
201
00:09:28,802 --> 00:09:30,170
Uh, "There's no way
he hasn't strangled
202
00:09:30,203 --> 00:09:31,938
at least one stripper."
203
00:09:31,971 --> 00:09:33,807
Oscar.
204
00:09:33,840 --> 00:09:35,675
"He eats his yogurt
like he is punishing it
205
00:09:35,709 --> 00:09:38,111
for disappoint him."
Kelly.
206
00:09:38,144 --> 00:09:39,212
That's not that bad
actually.
207
00:09:39,245 --> 00:09:42,248
"P.S. We should kill him.
208
00:09:42,282 --> 00:09:44,818
Wait, so you installed
a doomsday device?
209
00:09:44,851 --> 00:09:47,253
No, it's an accountability
booster.
210
00:09:47,287 --> 00:09:48,688
Which when it goes off,
it destroys everything
211
00:09:48,722 --> 00:09:50,156
very similar
to a doomsday device.
212
00:09:50,190 --> 00:09:51,358
Jim, you're trying
to make me sound like
213
00:09:51,391 --> 00:09:53,093
some kind of evil maniac.
214
00:09:53,126 --> 00:09:55,962
The point is is that we are now
working in an environment
215
00:09:55,995 --> 00:10:00,033
where we have accountability
to each other.
216
00:10:00,066 --> 00:10:02,369
I am confident that you guys
are equal to the task.
217
00:10:02,402 --> 00:10:03,970
- Um, no, we're not.
- No.
218
00:10:04,004 --> 00:10:06,406
And you are a psycho
who is ruining our lives.
219
00:10:06,439 --> 00:10:08,108
We can't do this, Dwight.
Look around.
220
00:10:09,743 --> 00:10:11,144
Smile.
221
00:10:11,177 --> 00:10:13,246
Nod. Smile and nod.
222
00:10:13,279 --> 00:10:15,281
They're making me out to be
a Bond villain.
223
00:10:15,315 --> 00:10:18,251
I like to think of myself
as a brilliant scientist
224
00:10:18,284 --> 00:10:21,421
who will stop nothing
to remake the world...
225
00:10:21,454 --> 00:10:24,257
like...
226
00:10:24,290 --> 00:10:27,927
Not Doctor Moreau.
Someone good.
227
00:10:27,961 --> 00:10:30,163
Dr. Frankenstein.
228
00:10:30,196 --> 00:10:33,967
Dr. Jekyll--
Not them.
229
00:10:34,000 --> 00:10:36,436
Doctor...
230
00:10:40,340 --> 00:10:41,908
Are you sure
this is a good idea?
231
00:10:41,941 --> 00:10:43,343
I mean, that thing
about this office is
232
00:10:43,376 --> 00:10:45,445
we make a lot of mistakes.
233
00:10:45,478 --> 00:10:47,447
But the device
will change that.
234
00:10:47,480 --> 00:10:50,083
Without a safety net,
people will improve.
235
00:10:50,116 --> 00:10:53,787
Mm, just starting to wonder if
maybe the device is a mistake.
236
00:10:53,820 --> 00:10:55,488
Look, you said
237
00:10:55,522 --> 00:10:58,224
you were gonna give me
some real responsibility,
238
00:10:58,258 --> 00:11:00,160
that you believed in me.
239
00:11:00,193 --> 00:11:02,328
Well, this is your chance.
Do it.
240
00:11:02,362 --> 00:11:04,964
At least for a day.
One day, Andy.
241
00:11:04,998 --> 00:11:07,367
How about I don't support you
on this, but I promise
242
00:11:07,400 --> 00:11:10,737
to support you on two things
in the future?
243
00:11:13,006 --> 00:11:16,843
Okay. Fine.
244
00:11:16,876 --> 00:11:20,780
Just let me know when
you're gonna give me a chance.
245
00:11:26,186 --> 00:11:28,355
You're right. You're right.
246
00:11:28,388 --> 00:11:31,324
Let's--one day. Mm-hmm.
247
00:11:34,294 --> 00:11:35,462
All right, everybody.
248
00:11:35,495 --> 00:11:37,263
Looks like we need
to be getting to work.
249
00:11:37,297 --> 00:11:40,133
Be extra careful,
double check everything.
250
00:11:40,166 --> 00:11:42,268
Or the accountability booster
will getcha.
251
00:11:42,302 --> 00:11:44,170
Let's not make
any mistakes today,
252
00:11:44,204 --> 00:11:46,006
or at least no more than four.
253
00:11:46,039 --> 00:11:49,275
This doomsday device sounds
like a scare tactic to me.
254
00:11:49,309 --> 00:11:51,311
Y2K all over again.
255
00:11:51,344 --> 00:11:53,813
Oh, I was all about the Y2k bug.
256
00:11:53,847 --> 00:11:57,150
Paid some guy to update my PCs.
Threw out my microwave.
257
00:11:57,183 --> 00:12:00,020
Cancelled my plane ticket.
Sold all of my stocks.
258
00:12:00,053 --> 00:12:01,521
Spent New Year's Eve
in my basement
259
00:12:01,554 --> 00:12:03,390
with a gas mask on my face.
260
00:12:03,423 --> 00:12:05,325
I was even wearing a diaper.
261
00:12:05,358 --> 00:12:08,328
Someone said Y2K would
get the toilets.
262
00:12:08,361 --> 00:12:09,496
This could be real.
263
00:12:09,529 --> 00:12:11,164
Dwight's pretty handy
with computers.
264
00:12:11,197 --> 00:12:13,233
He fixed my laptop once.
265
00:12:13,266 --> 00:12:14,434
Okay, he didn't fix it.
266
00:12:14,467 --> 00:12:16,202
The brightness level
was all the way down.
267
00:12:16,236 --> 00:12:17,303
You couldn't fix it.
268
00:12:17,337 --> 00:12:19,305
I wasn't here that day.
269
00:12:19,339 --> 00:12:21,808
- Yes, you were.
- No--okay.
270
00:12:21,841 --> 00:12:23,410
Well, we'll talk about it later.
271
00:12:23,443 --> 00:12:25,345
Strasburg.
I had a meeting in Strasburg.
272
00:12:25,378 --> 00:12:26,980
And I dropped you off
beforehand.
273
00:12:27,013 --> 00:12:29,049
I was wearing a tan shirt
with stripes.
274
00:12:29,082 --> 00:12:31,918
- I don't think so, babe.
- Okay. This is crazy.
275
00:12:31,951 --> 00:12:34,454
There's an easy way to tell
if this device is a sham.
276
00:12:34,487 --> 00:12:36,823
We just make a mistake.
277
00:12:36,856 --> 00:12:38,458
I'll send an order down
to shipping
278
00:12:38,491 --> 00:12:41,828
before we've received payment.
279
00:12:47,267 --> 00:12:49,202
Oh! There's one mistake.
280
00:12:49,235 --> 00:12:51,604
Now we only have four strikes
left until a homerun.
281
00:12:51,638 --> 00:12:54,107
Dwight, turn the device off.
282
00:12:54,140 --> 00:12:56,843
Come on, Dwight.
283
00:12:56,876 --> 00:13:00,347
Guys, Dwight's our co-worker
and he worked really hard
284
00:13:00,380 --> 00:13:02,916
on this doomsday device, so I
think we're being a little rude.
285
00:13:02,949 --> 00:13:05,518
It's not a doomsday device.
Gosh!
286
00:13:08,488 --> 00:13:11,558
Your phone is ringing, Stanley.
You're gonna wanna get that.
287
00:13:11,591 --> 00:13:14,594
Turn off the device.
288
00:13:20,500 --> 00:13:22,369
This is Stanley Hudson.
289
00:13:22,402 --> 00:13:25,105
How are you?
290
00:13:25,138 --> 00:13:26,573
Exactly.
291
00:13:26,606 --> 00:13:28,375
Where's global warming
when you need it?
292
00:13:28,408 --> 00:13:30,944
freak.
293
00:13:36,149 --> 00:13:37,650
We stopped
for coffee that morning.
294
00:13:37,684 --> 00:13:39,919
Remember?
Well, I got it out of the bag.
295
00:13:39,953 --> 00:13:41,421
- You gotta be kidding me.
- You were wearing a blue shirt.
296
00:13:41,454 --> 00:13:42,422
I'm not talking
about this here.
297
00:13:42,455 --> 00:13:44,190
- That's low.
- Blue.
298
00:13:44,224 --> 00:13:47,594
Just once, I would like
us all to cooperate on a plan.
299
00:13:47,627 --> 00:13:49,095
I feel like their minds
were made up
300
00:13:49,129 --> 00:13:51,264
as soon as they heard
it was my idea.
301
00:13:51,297 --> 00:13:53,566
And it could get them all fired.
302
00:13:53,600 --> 00:13:56,136
- First!
- Second.
303
00:13:56,169 --> 00:13:57,504
It's not a race.
304
00:13:57,537 --> 00:14:00,674
Thirrr--
third.
305
00:14:00,707 --> 00:14:02,409
Who knows
what the belt is for?
306
00:14:02,442 --> 00:14:04,210
It's for protecting my ass
307
00:14:04,244 --> 00:14:05,645
when you suckers lift
more than you can handle.
308
00:14:05,679 --> 00:14:08,515
'Sup. I'm Gabe.
Corporate.
309
00:14:08,548 --> 00:14:10,650
Continue.
Don't be nervous.
310
00:14:10,684 --> 00:14:11,985
What're you doing here, Gabe?
311
00:14:12,018 --> 00:14:15,021
Well, they're all considering
that I basically own the place.
312
00:14:15,055 --> 00:14:17,223
I'm just chilling at mi casa.
313
00:14:17,257 --> 00:14:20,060
This is me in repose, I suppose.
314
00:14:20,093 --> 00:14:22,128
You know,
there's this expression.
315
00:14:22,162 --> 00:14:23,263
"Bros before hoes."
316
00:14:23,296 --> 00:14:26,566
And what that's short for is
"brothers before whores."
317
00:14:26,599 --> 00:14:29,235
Uh, I don't buy that.
318
00:14:29,269 --> 00:14:34,174
I would throw any brother
under the bus for any whore.
319
00:14:34,207 --> 00:14:37,010
Woman.
320
00:14:37,043 --> 00:14:38,411
Apparently,
we have a visitor.
321
00:14:38,445 --> 00:14:41,481
- Gabe, everyone.
- Hi, Gabe!
322
00:14:41,514 --> 00:14:43,183
All right,
so the support belt.
323
00:14:43,216 --> 00:14:46,052
Now this one is mine.
Doesn't get much use nowadays.
324
00:14:46,086 --> 00:14:48,188
Look at this.
This is enormous.
325
00:14:48,221 --> 00:14:51,191
Oh.
326
00:14:51,224 --> 00:14:54,427
I got the sense that Val enjoys
a good put-down.
327
00:14:54,461 --> 00:14:56,596
Considering that's the only
thing I know about her,
328
00:14:56,629 --> 00:14:59,366
I will be milking that hard.
329
00:14:59,399 --> 00:15:01,634
It's like a hula hoop.
Right?
330
00:15:01,668 --> 00:15:05,405
* Mele kalikimaka
is Hawaii's way *
331
00:15:08,241 --> 00:15:10,043
You done?
332
00:15:10,076 --> 00:15:12,245
The Michelin Man called.
He wants his cummerbund back.
333
00:15:13,346 --> 00:15:15,515
Remember we have to give
regal escrow
334
00:15:15,548 --> 00:15:16,583
their refund by five.
335
00:15:16,616 --> 00:15:18,418
I'm on it.
336
00:15:18,451 --> 00:15:20,320
Kevin,
maybe I should handle that.
337
00:15:20,353 --> 00:15:23,356
We really need you to focus
on your project.
338
00:15:23,390 --> 00:15:24,624
Good thinking.
339
00:15:24,657 --> 00:15:28,094
Apparently a big client
for this company
340
00:15:28,128 --> 00:15:31,197
needs to know the story
of how paper gets made.
341
00:15:34,067 --> 00:15:38,071
Oscar, use a calculator.
342
00:15:39,806 --> 00:15:42,442
When the stake are this high,
there's only one computer
343
00:15:42,475 --> 00:15:47,313
that I trust, and it's powered
by Thai food and Spanish reds.
344
00:15:47,347 --> 00:15:49,282
All right, everybody,
you're doing great!
345
00:15:49,315 --> 00:15:50,250
Well, I wouldn't say that.
346
00:15:50,283 --> 00:15:51,584
Three mistakes already
is pretty terrible.
347
00:15:51,618 --> 00:15:53,119
But I do see improvement.
348
00:15:53,153 --> 00:15:55,088
Meredith kept someone on hold
for 30 minutes,
349
00:15:55,121 --> 00:15:58,091
and now look--
she's hard at work.
350
00:15:58,124 --> 00:15:59,726
- Dwight, question.
- No questions.
351
00:15:59,759 --> 00:16:00,760
If this doomsday device
goes off--
352
00:16:00,794 --> 00:16:01,895
Accountability booster.
353
00:16:01,928 --> 00:16:04,664
If this bad idea goes off
and we all lose our jobs,
354
00:16:04,698 --> 00:16:05,799
are you gonna feel good
about that?
355
00:16:05,832 --> 00:16:07,500
I haven't even considered it.
356
00:16:07,534 --> 00:16:09,536
That's how sure I am that
this accountability booster
357
00:16:09,569 --> 00:16:10,804
- is gonna work.
- Doomsday device.
358
00:16:10,837 --> 00:16:11,738
- What?
- What?
359
00:16:11,771 --> 00:16:12,672
It sounded like you said
doomsday device.
360
00:16:12,706 --> 00:16:14,407
That's what it sounded like
to me too.
361
00:16:14,441 --> 00:16:17,477
Didn't.
362
00:16:17,510 --> 00:16:20,146
I don't watch sports movies,
but I saw one in the hospital.
363
00:16:20,180 --> 00:16:23,083
It was about a coach
whose unorthodox style
364
00:16:23,116 --> 00:16:25,418
transformed a bunch of
underachieving miscreants
365
00:16:25,452 --> 00:16:27,053
into champions.
366
00:16:27,087 --> 00:16:28,388
I'm at the part of
the movie right now
367
00:16:28,421 --> 00:16:30,290
where everyone hates me.
368
00:16:30,323 --> 00:16:31,825
Try mose 1234.
369
00:16:31,858 --> 00:16:33,193
Dwight would never be
that obvious.
370
00:16:33,226 --> 00:16:36,629
Try something like, um,
z64$8.
371
00:16:38,164 --> 00:16:39,632
Not that exactly, Jim.
Something like that.
372
00:16:39,666 --> 00:16:40,800
Okay.
373
00:16:40,834 --> 00:16:44,404
How about
"Scranton strangler 666"?
374
00:16:45,472 --> 00:16:48,375
- Nope.
- No? Oh. Shoot.
375
00:16:48,408 --> 00:16:49,776
You guys are never
376
00:16:49,809 --> 00:16:51,745
gonna shut down
the machine, okay?
377
00:16:51,778 --> 00:16:54,180
But I appreciate your energy
and your teamwork.
378
00:16:54,214 --> 00:16:55,715
You apply this
to your regular work,
379
00:16:55,749 --> 00:16:57,584
you won't even notice
that the device is there,
380
00:16:57,617 --> 00:16:58,852
watching you,
ready to strike.
381
00:16:58,885 --> 00:17:00,387
Okay, do you know
that doomsday
382
00:17:00,420 --> 00:17:02,589
is normally a last resort,
not a first?
383
00:17:02,622 --> 00:17:04,190
Whose brain goes straight
to doomsday?
384
00:17:04,224 --> 00:17:05,458
Can you please stop
calling it that?
385
00:17:05,492 --> 00:17:07,193
Well, why can't it just alert
us that we've made a mistake
386
00:17:07,227 --> 00:17:08,661
- and then let us fix it?
- Oh, sure.
387
00:17:08,695 --> 00:17:10,430
That's gonna get us working
really hard, Jim,
388
00:17:10,463 --> 00:17:13,800
in the same way that spell check
made us better spellers, huh?
389
00:17:13,833 --> 00:17:16,603
Hey, try
"smells like chicken soup mix."
390
00:17:16,636 --> 00:17:18,204
That sounds long.
391
00:17:18,238 --> 00:17:19,773
Okay, this is unbelievable,
you guys.
392
00:17:19,806 --> 00:17:22,208
I mean, Jim I could
expect this from.
393
00:17:22,242 --> 00:17:24,444
Kelly too. Erin just
goes along with the pack.
394
00:17:24,477 --> 00:17:25,812
Ryan, obviously.
395
00:17:25,845 --> 00:17:26,880
Meredith, sure.
396
00:17:26,913 --> 00:17:29,282
Stanley,
I'm not surprised, but...
397
00:17:34,187 --> 00:17:35,722
What's Dwight's mother's
name?
398
00:17:35,755 --> 00:17:39,492
Um, Hedda.
399
00:17:39,526 --> 00:17:41,227
No.
400
00:17:41,261 --> 00:17:43,697
Once you've ready the packet,
sign the back.
401
00:17:43,730 --> 00:17:44,898
Hey, Darryl,
I was thinking, um,
402
00:17:44,931 --> 00:17:46,800
maybe while
we read through this, uh,
403
00:17:46,833 --> 00:17:48,368
you could grab us all
some coffee.
404
00:17:48,401 --> 00:17:50,370
My treat.
405
00:17:50,403 --> 00:17:51,771
A $100 bill.
406
00:17:51,805 --> 00:17:53,506
Should cover it,
I think.
407
00:17:53,540 --> 00:17:56,409
Don't bring me any of that
caramel soy latte crap, okay?
408
00:17:56,443 --> 00:17:57,711
I want a decaf frappuccino.
409
00:17:57,744 --> 00:17:59,145
Val?
410
00:17:59,179 --> 00:18:01,247
Actually, Val,
why don't you come with?
411
00:18:01,281 --> 00:18:03,650
I'll need the extra hands
to carry them back.
412
00:18:03,683 --> 00:18:04,617
- Yeah. Sure.
- Uh...
413
00:18:04,651 --> 00:18:06,786
Mm-hmm.
414
00:18:06,820 --> 00:18:08,688
Caramel soy latte.
415
00:18:08,722 --> 00:18:10,824
- No, a decaf frap.
- Got it.
416
00:18:12,625 --> 00:18:16,396
You sent the late notice
to Rinehart and Wolfe, right?
417
00:18:16,429 --> 00:18:18,665
Mm-hmm.
640, 620.
418
00:18:18,698 --> 00:18:20,667
670,620.
419
00:18:20,700 --> 00:18:22,535
- Uh-uh.
- Yes.
420
00:18:22,569 --> 00:18:27,307
588 plus 15%.
421
00:18:27,340 --> 00:18:29,309
- Oh, no.
- What does this mean?
422
00:18:29,342 --> 00:18:30,744
- What does it mean?
- Andy.
423
00:18:30,777 --> 00:18:32,512
Oh.
424
00:18:33,613 --> 00:18:36,883
Guh.
That's five strikes.
425
00:18:36,916 --> 00:18:40,587
Well, I was saving this
for my retirement,
426
00:18:40,620 --> 00:18:41,955
which I guess is today.
427
00:18:41,988 --> 00:18:44,924
Dwight,
we got five strikes.
428
00:18:44,958 --> 00:18:47,460
- Really?
- Did the email go out, or--
429
00:18:47,494 --> 00:18:49,195
It goes out automatically
at 5:00 P.M.
430
00:18:49,229 --> 00:18:51,197
Well, there's got to be
a way to stop it.
431
00:18:51,231 --> 00:18:52,565
Well, I would have
to enter my password
432
00:18:52,599 --> 00:18:53,933
in order to cancel it.
433
00:18:53,967 --> 00:18:57,804
Okay. Dwight, you may now
enter your password.
434
00:18:57,837 --> 00:19:00,306
- No.
- What?
435
00:19:00,340 --> 00:19:01,975
You don't deserve
to have this branch.
436
00:19:02,008 --> 00:19:04,911
Five mistakes
in less than a day?
437
00:19:04,944 --> 00:19:06,479
We did our best.
438
00:19:06,513 --> 00:19:08,281
No, you didn't, Phyllis.
439
00:19:08,314 --> 00:19:10,850
You complained the whole time.
You yelled at me,
440
00:19:10,884 --> 00:19:12,619
you tried to break
into the machine.
441
00:19:12,652 --> 00:19:14,320
What?
442
00:19:14,354 --> 00:19:16,723
You're a real crumb bum,
you know that?
443
00:19:16,756 --> 00:19:17,991
Hey, you can't just change
the rules
444
00:19:18,024 --> 00:19:19,993
because you don't
like the outcome.
445
00:19:20,026 --> 00:19:21,695
What about you, Kevin?
446
00:19:21,728 --> 00:19:23,463
What about you
and your fake task?
447
00:19:23,496 --> 00:19:25,331
Can you tell me now
where paper comes from?
448
00:19:25,365 --> 00:19:28,335
Uh...the man tree
puts his penis--
449
00:19:28,368 --> 00:19:30,737
Okay, all right.
Andy, back me up here please.
450
00:19:30,770 --> 00:19:32,272
- No.
- What?
451
00:19:32,305 --> 00:19:33,373
No!
452
00:19:33,406 --> 00:19:35,909
Dwight, be human for once.
Shut down the machine.
453
00:19:35,942 --> 00:19:37,510
Shut it down!
Shut it down!
454
00:19:37,544 --> 00:19:39,913
Shut down the machine!
Shut it down!
455
00:19:42,048 --> 00:19:44,584
Good luck finding a new job,
idiots.
456
00:19:44,617 --> 00:19:46,986
I'll make sure to write you
a glowing reference.
457
00:19:47,020 --> 00:19:50,423
Glowingly negative.
458
00:19:54,694 --> 00:19:58,365
Stanley, do you have
any Kahlúa up in there?
459
00:19:58,398 --> 00:20:00,000
With some olives?
'Cause I could really
460
00:20:00,033 --> 00:20:03,536
go for an Andy-tini right now.
461
00:20:08,441 --> 00:20:10,343
- Dwight's car is gone.
- I'll bet he went home.
462
00:20:10,377 --> 00:20:12,879
Some of us should go there and
try to talk some sense into him.
463
00:20:12,912 --> 00:20:15,882
Get him to stop that email.
Pam, you should come with me.
464
00:20:15,915 --> 00:20:19,319
Dwight really likes you and...
your breasts are enormous.
465
00:20:19,352 --> 00:20:20,453
- That can help us.
- Yeah.
466
00:20:20,487 --> 00:20:22,689
Kevin has that lovability.
467
00:20:22,722 --> 00:20:24,591
Guys, come on.
468
00:20:24,624 --> 00:20:25,558
I'm right here.
469
00:20:25,592 --> 00:20:28,328
Erin, you should come.
Everybody loves you.
470
00:20:28,361 --> 00:20:30,764
- Tuna--
- Don't send Jim.
471
00:20:30,797 --> 00:20:31,798
- Definitely.
- No, God.
472
00:20:31,831 --> 00:20:33,967
Jim would be the worst person
you could send.
473
00:20:34,000 --> 00:20:35,301
I'm just over here laughing
474
00:20:35,335 --> 00:20:37,470
at how dumb it would be
to send Jim.
475
00:20:37,504 --> 00:20:39,039
Guys, no one's sending Jim,
okay?
476
00:20:39,072 --> 00:20:42,042
Give me a little credit here.
477
00:20:42,075 --> 00:20:43,777
But Jim, I want you
to go find Robert.
478
00:20:43,810 --> 00:20:47,347
Just be where he is in case
that email goes out at 5:00.
479
00:20:47,380 --> 00:20:49,382
You can try to delete it
or something.
480
00:20:49,416 --> 00:20:50,884
Okay, where is he?
481
00:20:50,917 --> 00:20:52,352
He's at some club
where you either
482
00:20:52,385 --> 00:20:54,921
eat squash or play squash.
483
00:20:54,954 --> 00:20:57,657
I'll try both.
484
00:20:57,691 --> 00:21:00,627
Tuna, stay away
from Schrute Farms.
485
00:21:02,962 --> 00:21:05,699
Guys, let's do this.
486
00:21:05,732 --> 00:21:06,733
- Yeah.
- Okay.
487
00:21:06,766 --> 00:21:07,934
- All right.
- Okay.
488
00:21:07,967 --> 00:21:10,003
I am done with delegating.
Oh.
489
00:21:10,036 --> 00:21:11,338
The buck stops here.
490
00:21:11,371 --> 00:21:12,672
If someone's gonna
ruin this office,
491
00:21:12,706 --> 00:21:14,007
I want it to be me.
492
00:21:14,040 --> 00:21:15,542
That's not--
493
00:21:15,575 --> 00:21:17,677
if someone ruins this office,
494
00:21:17,711 --> 00:21:20,480
they have to do it
without my permission.
495
00:21:20,513 --> 00:21:22,649
I don't even
wanna know about it.
496
00:21:24,451 --> 00:21:26,786
Oh, guys, what other reasons
can we give Dwight
497
00:21:26,820 --> 00:21:28,455
not to send this thing?
498
00:21:28,488 --> 00:21:30,423
- It saves electricity.
- Okay.
499
00:21:30,457 --> 00:21:34,027
I like it. The eco angle.
Saves electricity.
500
00:21:34,060 --> 00:21:35,929
Hey, guys, I think
I'm gonna be bad cop.
501
00:21:35,962 --> 00:21:37,397
And good cop.
502
00:21:37,430 --> 00:21:38,932
I'm gonna be like crazy cop.
503
00:21:38,965 --> 00:21:42,969
Dwight Schrute, come out here
with your hands up!
504
00:21:43,003 --> 00:21:44,537
I-I'm so nervous.
505
00:21:44,571 --> 00:21:47,640
I feel like I'm gonna
say some.
506
00:21:49,142 --> 00:21:52,112
Kev, I'm not gonna spin this.
507
00:21:52,145 --> 00:21:53,847
I don't think
you should say anything.
508
00:21:53,880 --> 00:21:55,749
Yes.
509
00:21:55,782 --> 00:21:57,984
Mysterious silent guy.
510
00:21:58,018 --> 00:22:01,454
Yes. Starting now.
511
00:22:01,488 --> 00:22:05,792
Oh. Did you come to reason
with me?
512
00:22:05,825 --> 00:22:07,494
Got you something.
513
00:22:12,132 --> 00:22:15,535
And, uh, I just really wanna
talk to you.
514
00:22:15,568 --> 00:22:18,438
- Get lost.
- Well, now hold on.
515
00:22:18,471 --> 00:22:20,640
What are you doing?
516
00:22:20,674 --> 00:22:22,142
What does it look like
I'm doing?
517
00:22:22,175 --> 00:22:23,843
Digging a grave for a horse.
518
00:22:23,877 --> 00:22:27,013
Um...
519
00:22:27,047 --> 00:22:29,416
Do you need a hand?
520
00:22:29,449 --> 00:22:32,652
Yeah, you need a hand?
521
00:22:38,158 --> 00:22:41,594
If you hit another horse,
you dug too far.
522
00:22:41,628 --> 00:22:43,063
Come on, Pam.
Grab a shovel.
523
00:22:43,096 --> 00:22:45,432
Uh, no, Pam's not digging.
524
00:22:45,465 --> 00:22:46,700
We're happy to help,
Dwight, but--
525
00:22:46,733 --> 00:22:48,902
- It's fine.
- Just really use your back.
526
00:22:48,935 --> 00:22:50,770
Pam.
527
00:22:53,106 --> 00:22:54,941
We're all in it together.
528
00:22:54,974 --> 00:22:56,876
It's good for the fetus.
529
00:23:01,981 --> 00:23:03,450
I have never played squash.
530
00:23:03,483 --> 00:23:05,151
But I've seen it in
countless '80s movies,
531
00:23:05,185 --> 00:23:06,753
and it seems like
the most common mistake
532
00:23:06,786 --> 00:23:08,188
is that you serve too hard
and hit yourself
533
00:23:08,221 --> 00:23:09,923
right in the squash balls, so--
534
00:23:09,956 --> 00:23:13,526
As long as I don't do that,
I think I'll be all right.
535
00:23:20,967 --> 00:23:24,437
I never understand why
you have to wear all white.
536
00:23:26,139 --> 00:23:28,608
I'll see you next week,
Will.
537
00:23:28,641 --> 00:23:30,043
Robert?
538
00:23:30,076 --> 00:23:32,045
Jim, what are you--
539
00:23:32,078 --> 00:23:33,546
what a surprise!
540
00:23:33,580 --> 00:23:34,814
Yeah, well, you know,
just had a meeting--
541
00:23:34,848 --> 00:23:36,649
squash meeting.
542
00:23:36,683 --> 00:23:38,785
Yeah?
543
00:23:38,818 --> 00:23:39,819
You up for a game?
544
00:23:39,853 --> 00:23:41,554
A game or a match?
545
00:23:41,588 --> 00:23:44,190
Exactly.
Here we go.
546
00:23:44,224 --> 00:23:46,626
Let's do it.
547
00:23:50,563 --> 00:23:53,166
Are you okay, Kevin?
548
00:23:55,935 --> 00:23:56,936
Where you going?
549
00:23:56,970 --> 00:23:58,571
In.
I'm hungry.
550
00:23:58,605 --> 00:24:01,141
Uh, could we come in too?
Just for some water?
551
00:24:01,174 --> 00:24:03,576
Okay. Take off your shoes.
552
00:24:03,610 --> 00:24:07,747
Except you, Kevin.
They stay on.
553
00:24:07,781 --> 00:24:11,051
Oh, wow. I forgot
how pretty your house is.
554
00:24:11,084 --> 00:24:12,519
This is the newest addition
555
00:24:12,552 --> 00:24:14,854
built by Erasmus Schrute
in 1808.
556
00:24:14,888 --> 00:24:20,527
It doubled as a tuberculosis
recovery room until 2009.
557
00:24:20,560 --> 00:24:22,696
That's too much doodle
and not enough lab.
558
00:24:22,729 --> 00:24:25,598
Yeah, when are they gonna do
a labradoodle that's just lab?
559
00:24:25,632 --> 00:24:27,767
That's what I'm saying.
560
00:24:32,038 --> 00:24:34,207
Hey. You're welcome.
561
00:24:34,240 --> 00:24:35,875
Thanks for the coffee.
562
00:24:35,909 --> 00:24:37,944
So tonight I was thinking
I'm gonna go to the cemetery,
563
00:24:37,977 --> 00:24:39,612
I'm gonna drink a little wine,
564
00:24:39,646 --> 00:24:42,015
and I thought maybe you'd like
to come with me.
565
00:24:42,048 --> 00:24:43,750
Are you asking me on a date?
566
00:24:43,783 --> 00:24:45,618
Yes, I am.
567
00:24:45,652 --> 00:24:46,986
Because I don't date
coworkers.
568
00:24:47,020 --> 00:24:49,589
It's not personal.
It's a matter of policy.
569
00:24:49,622 --> 00:24:51,925
I could quit.
Problem solved.
570
00:24:51,958 --> 00:24:54,928
Don't quit.
571
00:24:54,961 --> 00:24:59,899
Good policy.
It's sensible, smart.
572
00:24:59,933 --> 00:25:02,702
- You can serve first.
- You got it.
573
00:25:05,939 --> 00:25:07,640
All right.
574
00:25:07,674 --> 00:25:09,209
All right.
Here we go. Here we go.
575
00:25:12,278 --> 00:25:13,646
Go ahead. Let's serve.
576
00:25:13,680 --> 00:25:15,615
- Come on.
- All right.
577
00:25:17,350 --> 00:25:19,085
- Foot fault.
- What's that?
578
00:25:19,119 --> 00:25:21,755
- The box.
- Oh, right.
579
00:25:21,788 --> 00:25:23,189
Just one foot in, right?
Gotta keep it--
580
00:25:23,223 --> 00:25:25,158
- Or both.
- Okay.
581
00:25:25,191 --> 00:25:27,093
I like it both.
582
00:25:36,136 --> 00:25:37,337
You should take it again.
583
00:25:37,370 --> 00:25:38,805
All right.
584
00:25:38,838 --> 00:25:39,973
Sorry, I haven't played
in a while.
585
00:25:40,006 --> 00:25:41,074
Little rusty.
586
00:25:41,107 --> 00:25:42,676
Weren't you just playing?
587
00:25:42,709 --> 00:25:45,945
Oh, yeah, yeah.
No, but that guy--uh, he's--
588
00:25:45,979 --> 00:25:48,915
So...
589
00:25:48,948 --> 00:25:50,316
All right, serving.
590
00:25:50,350 --> 00:25:52,152
Serving, serving, serving.
591
00:25:52,185 --> 00:25:54,287
- In the box.
- In the box.
592
00:26:07,334 --> 00:26:08,835
How's the bed and breakfast
going?
593
00:26:08,868 --> 00:26:11,171
- Fine.
- That's good.
594
00:26:11,204 --> 00:26:12,739
Mostly Chinese tourists.
595
00:26:12,772 --> 00:26:15,675
I have a billboard in Suzhou.
596
00:26:15,709 --> 00:26:16,810
I really like your wallpaper.
597
00:26:16,843 --> 00:26:18,278
Thanks. I just put it up.
598
00:26:18,311 --> 00:26:19,946
Yeah, it's pretty.
599
00:26:19,979 --> 00:26:22,148
Yeah. It's cool,
with a wink, you know.
600
00:26:22,182 --> 00:26:24,184
Very tuxedos and sneakers.
601
00:26:24,217 --> 00:26:26,920
What do you think, Kevin?
602
00:26:28,355 --> 00:26:30,757
It's not for me.
603
00:26:39,899 --> 00:26:43,036
Well, I guess
it's not for everyone.
604
00:26:44,437 --> 00:26:47,007
Yeah.
Definitely not for--
605
00:26:48,174 --> 00:26:50,810
More pie?
606
00:26:57,784 --> 00:27:00,053
11-love.
I win again.
607
00:27:00,086 --> 00:27:01,955
Ah, good game.
608
00:27:01,988 --> 00:27:04,124
You are a worthy opponent.
609
00:27:04,157 --> 00:27:05,992
You want to play one more?
610
00:27:06,026 --> 00:27:07,927
I don't think so.
611
00:27:07,961 --> 00:27:09,262
No? Come on.
612
00:27:09,295 --> 00:27:10,730
Why?
613
00:27:10,764 --> 00:27:12,332
Not only are you terrible
at squash,
614
00:27:12,365 --> 00:27:14,034
but you don't even seem
to enjoy it.
615
00:27:14,067 --> 00:27:16,269
Jim, this is not
enough of a challenge for me.
616
00:27:16,302 --> 00:27:20,407
Well, that is because
you didn't realize that
617
00:27:20,440 --> 00:27:24,044
I was left-handed.
618
00:27:24,077 --> 00:27:25,211
Really?
619
00:27:25,245 --> 00:27:26,413
Oh, really.
620
00:27:26,446 --> 00:27:29,082
You afraid to lose
to the real Jim Halpert?
621
00:27:29,115 --> 00:27:32,118
No, let's give
the left hand a chance.
622
00:27:35,355 --> 00:27:36,956
Wanna serve?
623
00:27:36,990 --> 00:27:39,059
Uh, yeah.
624
00:27:40,493 --> 00:27:41,995
Are you ready?
625
00:27:42,028 --> 00:27:44,698
- In the box.
- Right in the box.
626
00:27:45,832 --> 00:27:47,934
Why haven't we heard
anything?
627
00:27:47,967 --> 00:27:49,469
It's 4:45.
628
00:27:49,502 --> 00:27:50,904
There's only 15 minutes left.
629
00:27:50,937 --> 00:27:53,206
Oh, now you can do math?
630
00:27:53,239 --> 00:27:55,308
Where were you two hours ago,
"Beautiful Mind"?
631
00:27:55,342 --> 00:27:57,077
I made a mistake.
I'm sorry!
632
00:27:57,110 --> 00:27:59,212
I know how to save
the company, everyone.
633
00:27:59,245 --> 00:28:00,814
Just write a petition.
634
00:28:00,847 --> 00:28:05,018
Get everyone's signature,
including our clients.
635
00:28:05,051 --> 00:28:07,020
March down to Florida...
636
00:28:07,053 --> 00:28:10,423
and shove it up your butt.
637
00:28:10,457 --> 00:28:12,826
It's not that funny.
638
00:28:23,870 --> 00:28:25,905
Oh, Pam, you got something
on your shirt.
639
00:28:25,939 --> 00:28:27,440
Oh!
640
00:28:27,474 --> 00:28:29,376
Oh, well.
641
00:28:29,409 --> 00:28:31,511
Pobody's nerfect, right?
642
00:28:31,544 --> 00:28:32,846
Did you just have a stroke,
Pam?
643
00:28:32,879 --> 00:28:34,381
It's nobody's perfect.
644
00:28:34,414 --> 00:28:36,082
Nice stroke, Pam.
645
00:28:36,116 --> 00:28:39,986
No, it's a jokey saying.
Pobody's nerfect?
646
00:28:40,020 --> 00:28:43,289
Like, I can't even say
those words right.
647
00:28:43,323 --> 00:28:47,127
I haven't heard that before.
That's--that's funny.
648
00:28:47,160 --> 00:28:48,128
Hm.
649
00:28:48,161 --> 00:28:49,929
Dwight, there's just
the small matter of--
650
00:28:49,963 --> 00:28:53,266
You know what would go
so great with this cabbage pie?
651
00:28:53,299 --> 00:28:54,367
Milk.
652
00:28:54,401 --> 00:28:55,902
Any specific animal?
653
00:28:55,935 --> 00:28:58,138
- I'm thinking cow.
- Don't say cow. Ugh.
654
00:29:00,106 --> 00:29:02,442
What are you doing?
It's five to five.
655
00:29:02,475 --> 00:29:04,978
Just don't talk about
the email, okay?
656
00:29:05,011 --> 00:29:06,179
He's gonna cancel it
on his own.
657
00:29:06,212 --> 00:29:08,548
- I really think he will.
- That's insane.
658
00:29:08,581 --> 00:29:10,016
Just trust me.
659
00:29:10,050 --> 00:29:11,851
Trust you like I trusted
Dwight this morning?
660
00:29:11,885 --> 00:29:14,187
I got this.
661
00:29:14,220 --> 00:29:17,223
Well, here I go, delegating the
fate of the branch once again.
662
00:29:17,257 --> 00:29:19,292
This time to Pam.
663
00:29:19,325 --> 00:29:21,594
If it works out, lesson learned.
664
00:29:21,628 --> 00:29:24,931
Give the right person
the right task.
665
00:29:24,964 --> 00:29:28,001
And it doesn't work out...
666
00:29:30,203 --> 00:29:31,504
No regrets.
667
00:29:31,538 --> 00:29:35,008
Wouldn't have done
anything differently.
668
00:29:35,041 --> 00:29:37,110
That was really delicious.
669
00:29:37,143 --> 00:29:39,412
Kinda ruined my dinner though.
670
00:29:39,446 --> 00:29:42,048
We should probably get going.
671
00:29:42,082 --> 00:29:44,984
Um, aren't you guys
forgetting something?
672
00:29:48,588 --> 00:29:50,156
The bill.
673
00:29:50,190 --> 00:29:52,459
I got it.
674
00:29:52,492 --> 00:29:54,194
Gratuity's included.
675
00:29:57,464 --> 00:29:59,466
Thanks for everything.
676
00:29:59,499 --> 00:30:01,968
Sive drafely.
677
00:30:05,105 --> 00:30:07,941
Isn't it supposed to be
drive safely?
678
00:30:11,544 --> 00:30:14,214
Is that my phone?
679
00:30:14,247 --> 00:30:15,949
Sounded like mine.
680
00:30:15,982 --> 00:30:17,017
No, I think it's mine.
681
00:30:17,050 --> 00:30:19,119
Let me just check
real quick here.
682
00:30:19,152 --> 00:30:20,286
All right.
683
00:30:20,320 --> 00:30:23,490
Oh, it's mine.
You took it out of my bag.
684
00:30:23,523 --> 00:30:26,026
Oh. Woop.
Yeah.
685
00:30:26,059 --> 00:30:29,362
- Can I have it?
- Yes.
686
00:30:29,396 --> 00:30:31,364
- Right now?
- Yes.
687
00:30:31,398 --> 00:30:34,234
- Here you go.
- Whoa, no, wait, wait, whoa!
688
00:30:34,267 --> 00:30:36,202
- Oh, man, I'm sorry.
- What the?
689
00:30:36,236 --> 00:30:37,370
- Sorry.
- Jesus.
690
00:30:37,404 --> 00:30:39,072
Did it break?
691
00:30:39,105 --> 00:30:41,174
- No, it's good.
- Are you sure?
692
00:30:41,207 --> 00:30:45,011
- Yeah.
- What kinda iPhone is that?
693
00:30:45,045 --> 00:30:46,980
It's the standard one.
The one everyone has.
694
00:30:47,013 --> 00:30:49,315
Oh, yeah, I have the one
that nobody has.
695
00:30:49,349 --> 00:30:51,584
Is there anything interesting?
696
00:30:51,618 --> 00:30:53,987
It depends, Jim.
Do you find one-day only
697
00:30:54,020 --> 00:30:55,655
JetBlue sales to Buffalo
interesting?
698
00:30:58,024 --> 00:31:02,128
No, I don't.
No, I don't.
699
00:31:04,664 --> 00:31:06,666
All right.
700
00:31:06,700 --> 00:31:10,570
Well, I am sore,
and obviously horrible at this.
701
00:31:10,603 --> 00:31:13,139
My serve!
702
00:31:24,451 --> 00:31:26,953
- Left-handed?
- Left-handed.
703
00:31:32,292 --> 00:31:34,694
- Dwight stopped the device.
- Oh.
704
00:31:38,732 --> 00:31:40,600
He stopped it!
705
00:31:42,335 --> 00:31:44,070
- Oh, we still have our jobs.
- All right.
706
00:31:44,104 --> 00:31:46,606
Whoo-hoo!
707
00:31:46,639 --> 00:31:49,442
Still have our jobs.
708
00:31:49,476 --> 00:31:51,544
They're not my favorite
people in the world.
709
00:31:51,578 --> 00:31:53,179
I wouldn't even
call them friends.
710
00:31:53,213 --> 00:31:55,982
They come over here,
eat my pie,
711
00:31:56,016 --> 00:31:59,052
dig the crappiest horse grave
you've ever seen.
712
00:31:59,085 --> 00:32:03,056
God, I'm gonna have to work
with them forever, aren't I?
713
00:32:06,960 --> 00:32:09,295
Just take it easy.
Nice and easy.
714
00:32:09,329 --> 00:32:11,164
Ah!
715
00:32:11,197 --> 00:32:12,999
Classic, right?
716
00:32:22,342 --> 00:32:24,611
- Ooh.
- I'm all right.
717
00:32:24,644 --> 00:32:26,112
- You all right?
- Yep.
718
00:32:26,146 --> 00:32:28,281
- Skinned knee.
- Yep.
719
00:32:28,314 --> 00:32:30,483
Agh. Oh.
720
00:32:30,517 --> 00:32:32,085
Put a little ice on that
maybe.
721
00:32:32,118 --> 00:32:33,520
Yeah.
722
00:32:33,553 --> 00:32:36,222
- That does not feel good.
- Okay, my serve.
51407
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