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1
00:00:09,509 --> 00:00:10,777
Hey.
2
00:00:10,810 --> 00:00:12,645
So we saw
the new billboard.
3
00:00:12,679 --> 00:00:15,482
Yeah?
Pretty cool, huh?
4
00:00:15,515 --> 00:00:18,251
What better way to announce our
new, slightly lower prices
5
00:00:18,284 --> 00:00:20,253
than with an ad campaign?
6
00:00:20,286 --> 00:00:22,555
And what better face
for an ad campaign than
7
00:00:22,589 --> 00:00:24,691
our new regional manager?
8
00:00:24,724 --> 00:00:26,092
How'd it look?
9
00:00:26,126 --> 00:00:27,861
- You've seen it, right?
- No.
10
00:00:27,894 --> 00:00:30,230
Andy, somebody defaced it.
11
00:00:30,263 --> 00:00:32,332
What?
How?
12
00:00:33,667 --> 00:00:34,668
Morning, Stanley.
13
00:00:37,604 --> 00:00:38,872
There's this thing that
14
00:00:38,905 --> 00:00:41,408
people tend to do
with billboards.
15
00:00:41,441 --> 00:00:43,243
How do I put this?
16
00:00:43,276 --> 00:00:45,679
If there's an opportunity
for a graffiti artist
17
00:00:45,712 --> 00:00:49,883
to work in a...
phallic shape,
18
00:00:49,916 --> 00:00:53,319
interacting withthe artwork, it'll happen.
19
00:00:53,353 --> 00:00:57,290
And Andy...
gave them that opportunity.
20
00:00:57,323 --> 00:00:59,426
Erin, how long did we order
those billboards for?
21
00:00:59,459 --> 00:01:01,294
- Six months.
- Oh, God.
22
00:01:01,327 --> 00:01:02,696
I need you to call
the billboard company.
23
00:01:02,729 --> 00:01:04,264
Great billboard!
24
00:01:04,297 --> 00:01:06,166
Funny, edgy, right up
to the line without crossing it.
25
00:01:06,199 --> 00:01:07,133
Loved it.
26
00:01:07,167 --> 00:01:08,902
- Which one did you see?
- Washington Street.
27
00:01:08,935 --> 00:01:10,370
The one with like 20 dongs
on it.
28
00:01:10,403 --> 00:01:12,505
- Okay, don't be gross.
- What's going on?
29
00:01:12,539 --> 00:01:14,808
Somebody defaced
the billboards we just put out
30
00:01:14,841 --> 00:01:16,176
in an inappropriate way.
31
00:01:16,209 --> 00:01:18,311
Oh, that's funny.
32
00:01:20,480 --> 00:01:22,215
Wait.
33
00:01:22,248 --> 00:01:23,583
From the photo shoot
with you and me?
34
00:01:23,616 --> 00:01:25,151
Yeah, Dwight.
35
00:01:25,185 --> 00:01:28,455
No. No.
36
00:01:28,488 --> 00:01:32,292
No! No! No! No!
No! No!
37
00:01:32,325 --> 00:01:34,494
No! No! No! No! No!
38
00:01:34,527 --> 00:01:36,830
No! No! No!
No! No!
39
00:01:36,863 --> 00:01:39,432
No! No! No! No! No!
No! No!
40
00:01:39,466 --> 00:01:41,634
No!
41
00:01:43,636 --> 00:01:46,673
{\an8}
42
00:01:46,706 --> 00:01:53,780
{\an8}* *
43
00:02:04,391 --> 00:02:06,226
{\an8}- Schrute Farms is very easy
to find.
44
00:02:06,259 --> 00:02:08,261
{\an8}It's right in the middle
of the root-vegetable district.
45
00:02:08,294 --> 00:02:09,562
{\an8}If the soil starts
to get acidic,
46
00:02:09,596 --> 00:02:10,930
{\an8}you've probably gone too far.
47
00:02:10,964 --> 00:02:12,899
{\an8}- Just give us the address,
we'll look it up online.
48
00:02:12,932 --> 00:02:14,834
{\an8}- It's simpler this way.
It's really not.
49
00:02:14,868 --> 00:02:16,903
{\an8}Just rip this into thirds.
50
00:02:16,936 --> 00:02:19,639
{\an8}The map's at the top.
Invitation is in the middle.
51
00:02:19,673 --> 00:02:21,207
{\an8}Parking pass is at the bottom.
52
00:02:21,241 --> 00:02:22,809
{\an8}Put that on your dashboard,
please.
53
00:02:22,842 --> 00:02:25,745
{\an8}- Now, stated arrival time
is 3:00 p.m.
54
00:02:25,779 --> 00:02:26,880
{\an8}- I don't get the reason
for this party.
55
00:02:26,913 --> 00:02:28,381
{\an8}Yeah, what's the reason?
56
00:02:28,415 --> 00:02:30,417
{\an8}- What's the reason, Andy?
What's the reason?
57
00:02:30,450 --> 00:02:32,919
{\an8}- It's just a garden party.
Sheesh!
58
00:02:32,952 --> 00:02:35,288
{\an8}You don't need a reason
to throw a garden party
59
00:02:35,321 --> 00:02:38,858
{\an8}any more than you need a reason
to throw a birthday party.
60
00:02:38,892 --> 00:02:41,728
{\an8}It's a garden party.
You don't need a reason.
61
00:02:41,761 --> 00:02:43,530
{\an8}A few other
super simple reminders.
62
00:02:43,563 --> 00:02:44,931
{\an8}No burping, no slurping,
63
00:02:44,964 --> 00:02:46,866
{\an8}when eating, take small bites
and chew thoroughly
64
00:02:46,900 --> 00:02:48,234
{\an8}with your mouth closed.
65
00:02:48,268 --> 00:02:49,636
{\an8}Yes, Darryl?
66
00:02:49,669 --> 00:02:51,271
{\an8}- What happens
when we're done chewing?
67
00:02:51,304 --> 00:02:53,506
{\an8}Do we spit it out on the floor
or keep it in our mouths
68
00:02:53,540 --> 00:02:54,774
{\an8}the rest of the time?
69
00:02:54,808 --> 00:02:56,409
{\an8}- I get it.
I'm being a little overbearing.
70
00:02:56,443 --> 00:02:57,944
{\an8}But I promise to be
under-bearing for a week
71
00:02:57,977 --> 00:03:00,880
{\an8}if you guys
just all...step it up.
72
00:03:00,914 --> 00:03:02,415
{\an8}- Andy, we understand basic
table manners.
73
00:03:02,449 --> 00:03:04,551
{\an8}- We're not children.
Yeah, it's just a picnic.
74
00:03:04,584 --> 00:03:07,954
{\an8}- This is not a picnic, Phyllis.
It's a garden party.
75
00:03:07,987 --> 00:03:09,422
{\an8}- There's a grill in
the warehouse I could bring.
76
00:03:09,456 --> 00:03:11,725
{\an8}- Ugh, please don't.
Not a barbecue.
77
00:03:11,758 --> 00:03:13,293
{\an8}It's better than a barbecue.
78
00:03:13,326 --> 00:03:15,829
{\an8}It's dignified, quieter,
there are rules.
79
00:03:15,862 --> 00:03:17,530
{\an8}- How is that better
than a barbecue?
80
00:03:17,564 --> 00:03:18,798
{\an8}- What is the dress code
on this?
81
00:03:18,832 --> 00:03:21,301
{\an8}- I'm glad you asked.
Connecticut casual.
82
00:03:21,334 --> 00:03:24,371
{\an8}- Any chance Connecticut casual
is Pennsylvania business?
83
00:03:24,404 --> 00:03:26,373
{\an8}I.E., this is what I'm wearing
to your party.
84
00:03:26,406 --> 00:03:28,708
{\an8}- Guys, my family just
threw a garden party
85
00:03:28,742 --> 00:03:29,909
{\an8}to celebrate
my brother's promotion.
86
00:03:29,943 --> 00:03:31,444
{\an8}It was a huge success.
87
00:03:31,478 --> 00:03:33,880
{\an8}Check it out.
There's a video online.
88
00:03:33,913 --> 00:03:35,682
{\an8}Heart-warming impromptu
father-son duet.
89
00:03:35,715 --> 00:03:37,984
{\an8}Oh, yeah.
90
00:03:38,018 --> 00:03:39,352
{\an8}- Yeah, Oscar,
you've shown me this.
91
00:03:39,386 --> 00:03:40,887
{\an8}- I've seen this.
That's not you.
92
00:03:40,920 --> 00:03:42,522
{\an8}- Yeah, whoa,
who's the sausage?
93
00:03:42,555 --> 00:03:44,024
{\an8}It's my dad and my brother.
94
00:03:44,057 --> 00:03:45,625
{\an8}I would have joined in
but this melody
95
00:03:45,658 --> 00:03:48,995
{\an8}doesn't really support
another harmony part, so.
96
00:03:49,029 --> 00:03:50,130
{\an8}Check it out.
That's my brother's boss.
97
00:03:50,163 --> 00:03:52,732
{\an8}Look how psyched he is.
He's having an awesome time.
98
00:03:52,766 --> 00:03:56,770
{\an8}- Ah, and did Robert California
get an invite to your party?
99
00:03:56,803 --> 00:03:58,371
{\an8}- Yeah, of course.
Yeah.
100
00:03:58,405 --> 00:03:59,906
{\an8}I mean, yeah,
I think he did.
101
00:03:59,939 --> 00:04:01,441
{\an8}-
Why didn't you just say
102
00:04:01,474 --> 00:04:03,843
{\an8}this was to impress
Robert California?
103
00:04:03,877 --> 00:04:06,613
{\an8}- I cannot believe that Andy
is throwing a party like this
104
00:04:06,646 --> 00:04:09,416
{\an8}just to impress the CEO.
105
00:04:09,449 --> 00:04:11,084
{\an8}Classic Gabe move.
106
00:04:11,117 --> 00:04:14,087
{\an8}Hey, Andy, how about you don't
steal my business strategies
107
00:04:14,120 --> 00:04:18,024
{\an8}and I won't dress like my life
is just one long brunch?
108
00:04:18,058 --> 00:04:20,927
See you all there at
3:00 p.m., Connecticut casual,
109
00:04:20,960 --> 00:04:23,029
remember your manners,
and have a wonderful time.
110
00:04:23,063 --> 00:04:25,098
And please refer to the map.
111
00:04:25,131 --> 00:04:28,802
Stay off of the web.
Thank you.
112
00:04:28,835 --> 00:04:30,904
So we've typed in
the address.
113
00:04:30,937 --> 00:04:32,939
Now let's take a look
at the street view.
114
00:04:35,675 --> 00:04:37,544
They don't warn you when
the cameras are driving by.
115
00:04:37,577 --> 00:04:38,611
Ah.
116
00:04:38,645 --> 00:04:41,548
Why do you keep reading
that garden party book?
117
00:04:41,581 --> 00:04:43,917
I mean, how hard
are finger sandwiches and tea?
118
00:04:43,950 --> 00:04:45,785
There's so much more
to it than that.
119
00:04:45,819 --> 00:04:47,687
I've been wantingSchrute Farms to break into
120
00:04:47,721 --> 00:04:49,956
the high-end event-hosting
industry for some time,
121
00:04:49,989 --> 00:04:52,759
and this party
is a great opportunity.
122
00:04:52,792 --> 00:04:55,862
Plus, I've got
a secret weapon.
123
00:04:55,895 --> 00:04:58,031
Only one copy in the world...
124
00:04:58,064 --> 00:05:00,934
and some sucker on the internet
sold it to me for $2.
125
00:05:03,837 --> 00:05:04,838
I'm actually
really disappointed
126
00:05:04,871 --> 00:05:07,574
in how poorly my book
is doing.
127
00:05:07,607 --> 00:05:10,043
I've only sold one copy.
128
00:05:10,076 --> 00:05:12,879
I cannot believe
how condescending Andy's being.
129
00:05:12,912 --> 00:05:15,548
He gets condescending
when he's nervous.
130
00:05:15,582 --> 00:05:17,517
Or when he's excited
or sleeping.
131
00:05:17,550 --> 00:05:19,085
Not an easy person
to be friends with.
132
00:05:19,119 --> 00:05:20,620
Well, I just hate
being treated
133
00:05:20,653 --> 00:05:22,422
like some bum with no class.
134
00:05:22,455 --> 00:05:25,558
I'm a lady. I'm a mother.
I'm a former boxer.
135
00:05:25,592 --> 00:05:26,960
Hey, guys.
136
00:05:26,993 --> 00:05:28,762
Getting excited for the party?
137
00:05:28,795 --> 00:05:32,565
Ryan, can I count on you to wear
an understated satirical outfit?
138
00:05:32,599 --> 00:05:34,634
Can't wait--
a faux-colonialist gathering
139
00:05:34,668 --> 00:05:35,835
when unemployment's at 9%?
140
00:05:35,869 --> 00:05:36,936
I wouldn't miss it
for the world.
141
00:05:38,004 --> 00:05:39,572
Awesome.
142
00:05:39,606 --> 00:05:41,107
Stanley? What about you?
143
00:05:41,141 --> 00:05:43,109
I am really looking forward
to it.
144
00:05:43,143 --> 00:05:45,111
Is it all right
to bring a plus-one?
145
00:05:45,145 --> 00:05:47,981
Yeah! Now that's the spirit.
146
00:05:48,014 --> 00:05:49,916
That's what I'm talking about.
147
00:05:49,949 --> 00:05:51,651
I'm telling you, Stanley,
don't bring her.
148
00:05:51,685 --> 00:05:54,054
- I'm breaking upwith my current girlfriend.
149
00:05:54,087 --> 00:05:56,656
I like to break up with women
in a public place,
150
00:05:56,690 --> 00:05:58,024
like a restaurant.
151
00:05:58,058 --> 00:05:59,993
But I also don't like to pay
for a meal
152
00:06:00,026 --> 00:06:01,528
that will not lead to sex,
153
00:06:01,561 --> 00:06:03,697
so this party is
a great opportunity.
154
00:06:03,730 --> 00:06:05,532
Is there anything
you wish
155
00:06:05,565 --> 00:06:07,934
you'd done differently
to avoid cankles?
156
00:06:07,967 --> 00:06:09,536
Nope.
157
00:06:09,569 --> 00:06:11,905
I've already gone up
another cup size.
158
00:06:11,938 --> 00:06:14,541
The senator is grossed out.
159
00:06:14,574 --> 00:06:16,476
When do you start
feeling it kick?
160
00:06:16,509 --> 00:06:19,979
Cece was around 22 weeks,
but Philip was much earlier.
161
00:06:20,013 --> 00:06:21,581
Philip?
162
00:06:21,614 --> 00:06:23,850
Oh, oh, my gosh!
163
00:06:23,883 --> 00:06:26,686
Yes, but don't
say anything, okay?
164
00:06:26,720 --> 00:06:28,021
It's after my grandfather.
165
00:06:28,054 --> 00:06:30,156
Philip is the name
that we're using.
166
00:06:30,190 --> 00:06:31,825
It's after my favorite cat.
167
00:06:31,858 --> 00:06:34,661
Oh, wow.
Funny.
168
00:06:34,694 --> 00:06:35,929
It's after my grandfather.
169
00:06:35,962 --> 00:06:38,064
It's after my cat.
170
00:06:38,098 --> 00:06:40,800
- Andrew, I've picked uptwo possible gifts
171
00:06:40,834 --> 00:06:41,901
to bring this afternoon.
172
00:06:41,935 --> 00:06:43,770
One, a pot of marmalade.
173
00:06:43,803 --> 00:06:45,638
Oh, that sounds great.
174
00:06:45,672 --> 00:06:47,474
- Well that--that is what youwant then, the marmalade?
175
00:06:47,507 --> 00:06:49,476
Sure.
176
00:06:49,509 --> 00:06:51,011
- You don't want to hearthe other one?
177
00:06:51,044 --> 00:06:53,480
You love marmalade?
178
00:06:53,513 --> 00:06:54,848
I'll hear the other one.
179
00:06:54,881 --> 00:06:56,483
It's a basil plant!
180
00:06:58,151 --> 00:07:00,687
You know,
the marmalade sounds great.
181
00:07:00,720 --> 00:07:03,256
- I also mentionedthe marmalade to my sister
182
00:07:03,289 --> 00:07:04,824
and she's very interested.
183
00:07:04,858 --> 00:07:06,559
Then, the basil
will be fine.
184
00:07:06,593 --> 00:07:07,794
- Well, you clearlywant the marmalade.
185
00:07:07,827 --> 00:07:11,564
Gretchen,I need another marmalade.
186
00:07:11,598 --> 00:07:14,567
All right.
187
00:07:21,174 --> 00:07:22,575
Hey, where do I park?
188
00:07:22,609 --> 00:07:24,210
I'm the valet.
You have to give me your car.
189
00:07:24,244 --> 00:07:25,979
You know what, I can probably
park it myself.
190
00:07:26,012 --> 00:07:27,247
You have to give me
your car.
191
00:07:27,280 --> 00:07:28,648
It's probably okay
that I park it myself.
192
00:07:28,682 --> 00:07:31,084
No, I think it's probably
better that I--
193
00:07:31,117 --> 00:07:32,852
I'm the valet.
You have to give me your car.
194
00:07:32,886 --> 00:07:35,789
- It's a finicky car.
- Get out of your car.
195
00:07:35,822 --> 00:07:36,756
Get out.
196
00:07:40,126 --> 00:07:41,795
Have a good time
at the...thing.
197
00:07:41,828 --> 00:07:43,063
It's a little tricky.
198
00:07:43,096 --> 00:07:44,097
You might want to be careful--
199
00:08:00,647 --> 00:08:04,084
* *
200
00:08:04,117 --> 00:08:06,286
Mr. Ryan Howard!
201
00:08:06,319 --> 00:08:09,122
"Chapter two, announcing
guests as they enter
202
00:08:09,155 --> 00:08:10,990
"is height of decorum.
203
00:08:11,024 --> 00:08:12,826
"The more volume displayed,
204
00:08:12,859 --> 00:08:16,029
the more honor is bestowed
upon everyone present."
205
00:08:16,062 --> 00:08:22,002
Stanley Hudson,
and his mistress Cynthia!
206
00:08:22,035 --> 00:08:24,971
James, Pamela,
and...
207
00:08:25,005 --> 00:08:27,140
P.P. Halpert!
208
00:08:29,175 --> 00:08:31,711
Oh, oh, oh, Kevin.
209
00:08:31,745 --> 00:08:34,714
I am reminded of a lame
but useful saying
210
00:08:34,748 --> 00:08:35,715
I learned as a kid.
211
00:08:35,749 --> 00:08:37,617
What is the difference
between hors d'oeuvres
212
00:08:37,650 --> 00:08:39,119
and the animals on Noah's Ark?
213
00:08:39,152 --> 00:08:40,820
What?
214
00:08:40,854 --> 00:08:42,789
With the hors d'oeuvres,
we only take one at a time.
215
00:08:42,822 --> 00:08:44,758
Oh, okay.
216
00:08:44,791 --> 00:08:48,194
What's the difference between
a vacuum cleaner and a blonde?
217
00:08:52,899 --> 00:08:54,167
Huh?
218
00:08:54,200 --> 00:08:55,301
How's it going
over here, guys?
219
00:08:55,335 --> 00:08:57,637
Andy, stop hovering.
You're being really annoying.
220
00:08:57,671 --> 00:09:00,206
Didn't mean
to bother you, Mabel.
221
00:09:00,240 --> 00:09:02,075
Mabel, Mabel,
if you're able,
222
00:09:02,108 --> 00:09:04,711
keep your elbows
off the table.
223
00:09:04,744 --> 00:09:09,349
Mr. and Mrs. Walter
and Ellen Bernard!
224
00:09:11,017 --> 00:09:13,987
So you all work with Andy?
225
00:09:14,020 --> 00:09:17,657
Well...
technically for Andy.
226
00:09:17,691 --> 00:09:19,959
Technically
for Robert California.
227
00:09:19,993 --> 00:09:22,228
He's our CEO.
228
00:09:22,262 --> 00:09:24,330
I thought you were the CEO.
229
00:09:24,364 --> 00:09:25,265
I don't know
how you got there.
230
00:09:25,298 --> 00:09:27,334
You said you were
running the company.
231
00:09:27,367 --> 00:09:29,369
This branch.
I'm the regional manager.
232
00:09:29,402 --> 00:09:32,872
- Yes.
- Oh, that makes more sense.
233
00:09:32,906 --> 00:09:34,708
Are you all regional managers?
234
00:09:34,741 --> 00:09:36,743
- Did I throw this partyto impress my parents?
235
00:09:36,776 --> 00:09:38,678
That's crazy.
236
00:09:38,712 --> 00:09:40,347
Now, if they wanteda garden party,
237
00:09:40,380 --> 00:09:41,915
they could throw onethemselves.
238
00:09:41,948 --> 00:09:43,950
Which, as a matter of fact,they did last week.
239
00:09:43,983 --> 00:09:45,819
They threw onefor my baby brother.
240
00:09:45,852 --> 00:09:49,222
And it was totally amazing,but I couldn't care less.
241
00:09:53,159 --> 00:09:54,260
Can I introduce
you around now?
242
00:09:54,294 --> 00:09:56,062
Uh, yeah,
we don't have too long.
243
00:09:56,096 --> 00:09:57,430
We have theater tickets.
244
00:09:57,464 --> 00:09:58,865
What are you going to see?
245
00:09:58,898 --> 00:10:00,233
Moneyball.
246
00:10:02,802 --> 00:10:05,005
- Walter Jr.'s choice.
- Oh, there he is.
247
00:10:05,038 --> 00:10:07,340
- What?
- Bronard.
248
00:10:07,374 --> 00:10:09,042
I didn't know you
were going to be here.
249
00:10:09,075 --> 00:10:10,710
I wouldn't have missed it.
250
00:10:10,744 --> 00:10:12,746
Okay.
251
00:10:12,779 --> 00:10:15,382
Stanley.
Cynthia is a delight.
252
00:10:15,415 --> 00:10:18,451
We've been yacking it up
like a couple of old hens.
253
00:10:18,485 --> 00:10:20,387
How long has she been
a physical therapist?
254
00:10:22,222 --> 00:10:25,025
Don't go making any ties.
I want a clean break.
255
00:10:30,230 --> 00:10:31,731
Ah!
256
00:10:31,765 --> 00:10:33,466
I'm Walter.
I'm Andy's younger brother.
257
00:10:33,500 --> 00:10:36,336
Oh, hey, how you doing?
I'm Jim.
258
00:10:36,369 --> 00:10:38,705
Tuna! Right?
259
00:10:38,738 --> 00:10:41,741
And this must
be your lovely wife, Pam.
260
00:10:41,775 --> 00:10:42,976
- No.
- Hell no.
261
00:10:43,009 --> 00:10:45,745
- She wishes.
- No, no, no, no, no.
262
00:10:45,779 --> 00:10:47,047
No.
263
00:10:47,080 --> 00:10:49,482
Sir, I need to be able
to feed all of the guests.
264
00:10:49,516 --> 00:10:50,850
I understand.
265
00:10:50,884 --> 00:10:52,719
Excuse me.
266
00:11:01,795 --> 00:11:04,364
- "Chapter seven,the host should always
267
00:11:04,397 --> 00:11:08,101
present something spectacular
to draw the eye of his guests."
268
00:11:11,171 --> 00:11:12,939
- When all this is over,I'd love to actually go
269
00:11:12,972 --> 00:11:14,140
to go one ofTrickington's parties.
270
00:11:14,174 --> 00:11:16,376
They sound like a blast.
271
00:11:18,411 --> 00:11:20,180
Ladies and gentlemen,
272
00:11:20,213 --> 00:11:22,148
I present to you...
273
00:11:22,182 --> 00:11:24,017
the Alamo!
274
00:11:36,563 --> 00:11:38,198
Little Cece asleep?
275
00:11:38,231 --> 00:11:40,100
Yeah, she just went down.
276
00:11:40,133 --> 00:11:43,136
- Such a precious little angel.
- Aw.
277
00:11:43,169 --> 00:11:44,938
- Cecilia.
- Mm-hmm.
278
00:11:44,971 --> 00:11:47,841
- And Philip.
- Yes. After my grandfather.
279
00:11:47,874 --> 00:11:48,942
Philip is wasted on you.
280
00:11:48,975 --> 00:11:51,978
Jim is never gonna take the time
to call him Philip!
281
00:11:52,012 --> 00:11:54,014
"He doesn't even take the time
to get a haircut.
282
00:11:54,047 --> 00:11:55,315
And Phil! Ugh!
283
00:11:55,348 --> 00:11:57,117
It's just something you do
to a hole.
284
00:11:57,150 --> 00:11:59,486
Well, I'm having my baby
first, so that's that.
285
00:11:59,519 --> 00:12:01,521
You know what?
It could go either way.
286
00:12:01,554 --> 00:12:03,456
My doctor said my hips
are so dainty
287
00:12:03,490 --> 00:12:05,325
that I'll almost definitely
have a C-section,
288
00:12:05,358 --> 00:12:06,926
so I could go early.
289
00:12:06,960 --> 00:12:08,228
You think your doctor's
gonna give you
290
00:12:08,261 --> 00:12:09,796
a C-section at six months?
291
00:12:09,829 --> 00:12:11,398
Yeah!
If I request it, he will.
292
00:12:11,431 --> 00:12:12,966
And that is that.
293
00:12:18,104 --> 00:12:25,078
* *
294
00:12:44,264 --> 00:12:48,468
"Chapter four, one of the
host's most important duties
295
00:12:48,501 --> 00:12:50,236
"is as dance master.
296
00:12:50,270 --> 00:12:53,306
"A proper courtly dancesets the tone
297
00:12:53,340 --> 00:12:55,308
for the entire afternoon."
298
00:12:55,342 --> 00:12:58,945
* *
299
00:13:08,421 --> 00:13:10,123
Ladies and gentlemen,
300
00:13:10,156 --> 00:13:11,891
may I present...
301
00:13:11,925 --> 00:13:16,463
R-R-Robert
Califor-r-r-rnia!
302
00:13:20,500 --> 00:13:21,634
Hello, Andy.
303
00:13:21,668 --> 00:13:22,802
- Welcome.
- Thank you.
304
00:13:22,836 --> 00:13:26,973
Hey, I want you to meet
my first bosses, Mom and Dad.
305
00:13:27,007 --> 00:13:28,475
Yes, hello.
Nice to meet you.
306
00:13:28,508 --> 00:13:29,876
- Nice to meet you too.
- Pleasure.
307
00:13:29,909 --> 00:13:32,345
Andy, where shall I put your
basil plant?
308
00:13:32,379 --> 00:13:35,015
Oh, I thought you were
going to bring the marmalade.
309
00:13:35,048 --> 00:13:37,917
No, I'm certain
you said, "basil."
310
00:13:39,185 --> 00:13:42,956
Andy's memory has always
been a little shaky.
311
00:13:42,989 --> 00:13:45,425
Which reminds me,
you did not send your brother
312
00:13:45,458 --> 00:13:47,160
a gift for his birthday.
313
00:13:47,193 --> 00:13:50,363
Yeah, I-I recorded
"Happy Birthday" in four parts
314
00:13:50,397 --> 00:13:51,564
and emailed it to him.
315
00:13:51,598 --> 00:13:53,233
Ooh, boy.
316
00:13:53,266 --> 00:13:55,335
How much did that set you back
there, big spender?
317
00:13:55,368 --> 00:13:57,170
For my brother's birthday,
318
00:13:57,203 --> 00:14:00,040
I took him to Cirque Du Soleil
cirque spectacular "Love,"
319
00:14:00,073 --> 00:14:03,176
which was great.
320
00:14:03,209 --> 00:14:07,480
Not for everyone.
You have to like the Beatles.
321
00:14:09,482 --> 00:14:12,218
- Are you headed to the bar?
- Always.
322
00:14:13,953 --> 00:14:17,624
Your brother--hint, hint--
is a Beatles fan.
323
00:14:17,657 --> 00:14:20,060
"So much depends upon
a red wheelbarrow
324
00:14:20,093 --> 00:14:24,130
glazed with rainwater
beside the white chickens."
325
00:14:24,164 --> 00:14:27,634
William Carlos Williams.
326
00:14:27,667 --> 00:14:30,603
This is not funny, man.
Let me down.
327
00:14:30,637 --> 00:14:32,238
I think this thing
is broken.
328
00:14:32,272 --> 00:14:33,306
It's not broken, Kevin.
329
00:14:33,340 --> 00:14:34,641
This is how it works.
330
00:14:45,719 --> 00:14:47,554
- My parents are used toa certain type of class.
331
00:14:47,587 --> 00:14:50,490
The people that I work with
are a different type of class.
332
00:14:50,523 --> 00:14:52,625
One is not better
than the other...
333
00:14:54,728 --> 00:14:58,298
Just maybe one is
a little higher than the other.
334
00:14:58,331 --> 00:15:00,600
It's so pretty today.
335
00:15:00,633 --> 00:15:03,036
It's getting chilly.
336
00:15:03,069 --> 00:15:05,005
We really should be leaving.
337
00:15:05,038 --> 00:15:07,173
Um, it'd be weird
if the boss man
338
00:15:07,207 --> 00:15:09,109
didn't make a toast,
so hang on.
339
00:15:09,142 --> 00:15:10,610
Everybody!
340
00:15:10,643 --> 00:15:11,711
I just want to take
this opportunity
341
00:15:11,745 --> 00:15:14,080
to thank you all
for coming,
342
00:15:14,114 --> 00:15:19,519
and to raise a glass
to my amazing staff.
343
00:15:19,552 --> 00:15:21,054
Toasts are great.
344
00:15:21,087 --> 00:15:22,655
I mean, you toast somebody,
they toast you back.
345
00:15:22,689 --> 00:15:23,990
It just goes
round and round.
346
00:15:24,024 --> 00:15:25,392
That's my favorite
part about toasts.
347
00:15:25,425 --> 00:15:27,027
The reciprocity.
348
00:15:27,060 --> 00:15:29,462
Let's hear from you guys.
Who do you want to toast?
349
00:15:29,496 --> 00:15:32,065
Yeah, I'll say something.
350
00:15:32,098 --> 00:15:34,200
I think we should be
acknowledging our boss
351
00:15:34,234 --> 00:15:36,636
because none of us would
be here without him.
352
00:15:36,670 --> 00:15:38,304
Robert California.
353
00:15:38,338 --> 00:15:40,140
all: To Robert!
354
00:15:40,173 --> 00:15:42,509
Yay, Robert!
355
00:15:42,542 --> 00:15:44,678
- I cannot believe I didn'tthink of toasting Robert.
356
00:15:44,711 --> 00:15:47,113
Get in the game, Gabriel.
357
00:15:47,147 --> 00:15:49,215
Why are you talking
to Stanley's mistress?
358
00:15:49,249 --> 00:15:52,052
I'd like to make a toast
to my deskmate,
359
00:15:52,085 --> 00:15:55,355
who makes every day
just a little bit brighter.
360
00:15:55,388 --> 00:15:57,724
To Devon. Stand up, Devon.
361
00:15:57,757 --> 00:15:59,292
Where are you, buddy?
362
00:15:59,325 --> 00:16:01,661
Creed, Devon hasn't
worked here in six years.
363
00:16:03,496 --> 00:16:06,299
I would like to toast
someone who isn't here,
364
00:16:06,332 --> 00:16:09,135
but who will be
in just four short months.
365
00:16:09,169 --> 00:16:12,706
Welcome to the world,
Philip Lipton!
366
00:16:16,209 --> 00:16:21,448
I also would like
to toast Philip Halpert...
367
00:16:21,481 --> 00:16:23,049
who's due even sooner.
368
00:16:23,083 --> 00:16:26,519
May he be a good namesake
to my grandfather,
369
00:16:26,553 --> 00:16:29,255
who I promised as a child,
370
00:16:29,289 --> 00:16:31,725
long before tonight,
371
00:16:31,758 --> 00:16:35,261
that I would one day
name my son after.
372
00:16:35,295 --> 00:16:36,663
To Philip Halpert.
373
00:16:36,696 --> 00:16:39,099
all: To Philip.
374
00:16:39,132 --> 00:16:43,069
She just always
has to copy anything I do!
375
00:16:43,103 --> 00:16:46,106
It's the Ford Taurus
situation all over again.
376
00:16:46,139 --> 00:16:47,607
Hey, I just wanna
give a toast
377
00:16:47,640 --> 00:16:49,309
to the non-pregnant women.
378
00:16:52,245 --> 00:16:54,114
Our personal issues, like,
everybody's issues.
379
00:16:54,147 --> 00:16:55,749
We just kinda keep it
to ourselves
380
00:16:55,782 --> 00:16:57,150
and don't bore people
with, like,
381
00:16:57,183 --> 00:16:59,085
what we're gonna name our baby.
382
00:16:59,119 --> 00:17:00,720
'Cause nobody cares.
383
00:17:00,754 --> 00:17:02,088
So to the non-pregnant women,
thanks a lot.
384
00:17:02,122 --> 00:17:03,023
- Whoo-hoo!
- Hear, hear.
385
00:17:03,056 --> 00:17:05,558
I'd like to make
a toast to the troops.
386
00:17:05,592 --> 00:17:06,793
- Hear, hear.
- Yes.
387
00:17:06,826 --> 00:17:08,628
All the troops.
388
00:17:08,661 --> 00:17:10,063
Both sides.
389
00:17:11,865 --> 00:17:13,667
I think we should toast--
390
00:17:13,700 --> 00:17:16,736
Ladies and gentlemen,
The Last Supper.
391
00:17:21,141 --> 00:17:25,145
"Chapter nine, the tableau
vivant is not only welcome,
392
00:17:25,178 --> 00:17:30,183
but expected entertainment
at any garden party."
393
00:17:30,216 --> 00:17:32,252
Stanley, I'm taking the car.
394
00:17:32,285 --> 00:17:34,688
And I'm gonna call your wife
and explain
395
00:17:34,721 --> 00:17:37,290
why she needs to pick you up.
396
00:17:37,323 --> 00:17:38,892
you.
397
00:17:38,925 --> 00:17:42,495
I told him it was a bad idea.
398
00:17:42,529 --> 00:17:46,433
Andy, I think that we should
acknowledge the man
399
00:17:46,466 --> 00:17:49,669
who has led us to such
a profitable quarter.
400
00:17:49,703 --> 00:17:51,604
To Robert California!
401
00:17:51,638 --> 00:17:53,406
all: To Robert.
402
00:17:53,440 --> 00:17:56,276
I would also like to toast
Robert California.
403
00:17:56,309 --> 00:17:57,043
Mr. California--
404
00:17:57,077 --> 00:18:00,380
You can't triple-toast
somebody!
405
00:18:00,413 --> 00:18:02,682
I mean, at least not until
we've hit everyone once.
406
00:18:02,716 --> 00:18:03,850
I'll say a few words,
407
00:18:03,883 --> 00:18:06,453
if that's all right
with you, Andy.
408
00:18:06,486 --> 00:18:07,454
Yeah, yeah.
409
00:18:09,589 --> 00:18:12,692
You people say I led you.
410
00:18:12,726 --> 00:18:15,295
But it wasn't me.
411
00:18:15,328 --> 00:18:19,165
You want to toast
the man who led you to success.
412
00:18:19,199 --> 00:18:22,268
But the boss is irrelevant.
413
00:18:22,302 --> 00:18:23,703
Andy and I produce nothing.
414
00:18:23,737 --> 00:18:25,438
We do nothing.
415
00:18:25,472 --> 00:18:28,308
We sit in our offices
and demand,
416
00:18:28,341 --> 00:18:31,211
"I want this and that,
right now,"
417
00:18:31,244 --> 00:18:32,479
like petulant children.
418
00:18:32,512 --> 00:18:36,883
You know the difference between
a crying baby and a manager?
419
00:18:36,916 --> 00:18:38,551
One day,
the baby will grow up.
420
00:18:42,222 --> 00:18:45,759
But without you, Andy and I
would be sitting in our
421
00:18:45,792 --> 00:18:50,463
dirty diapers, waiting for
someone to change us, wipe us.
422
00:18:50,497 --> 00:18:54,434
I should be toasting you,
thanking you for allowing me
423
00:18:54,467 --> 00:18:58,505
to have the easiest job
in the universe.
424
00:18:58,538 --> 00:19:00,774
Cheers.
all: Cheers.
425
00:19:00,807 --> 00:19:02,609
To Robert California.
426
00:19:02,642 --> 00:19:04,711
From the moment you entered our
building and our hearts--
427
00:19:04,744 --> 00:19:09,849
Some of you know that we have
an internet star in our midst.
428
00:19:09,883 --> 00:19:14,621
Mr. Walter Banes Bernard Sr.,
please report to the stage.
429
00:19:14,654 --> 00:19:15,822
I'm eating, Andy--
430
00:19:15,855 --> 00:19:18,191
Aw, come on!
431
00:19:21,661 --> 00:19:23,697
Okay.
432
00:19:23,730 --> 00:19:24,831
- Yes!
- What do you want to do?
433
00:19:24,864 --> 00:19:28,234
Well, how about one of our
classic father-son duets?
434
00:19:28,268 --> 00:19:31,438
Oh, whoa, you sure?
435
00:19:31,471 --> 00:19:32,939
Really?
That's--
436
00:19:32,972 --> 00:19:35,275
that's a little tricky.
Okay.
437
00:19:38,545 --> 00:19:43,016
* Saying I love you,
is not the words-- *
438
00:19:43,049 --> 00:19:44,551
- It's too high.
- Yeah? Right?
439
00:19:44,584 --> 00:19:45,919
It's high,
but it's not that high.
440
00:19:45,952 --> 00:19:47,454
Right, it feels strange.
441
00:19:47,487 --> 00:19:49,689
Just take it down.
442
00:19:49,723 --> 00:19:51,825
* Saying I love-- *
443
00:19:51,858 --> 00:19:54,260
- * Saying I love you-- *
- You know, just give it--
444
00:19:54,294 --> 00:19:55,562
- just give it to me.
- Yeah.
445
00:19:55,595 --> 00:19:57,797
Yeah.
Okay!
446
00:19:57,831 --> 00:20:02,002
Uh, something like...
447
00:20:02,035 --> 00:20:05,271
* Saying I love you *
448
00:20:05,305 --> 00:20:06,473
both: * Is not the words-- *
449
00:20:06,506 --> 00:20:07,407
You don't come in yet.
450
00:20:07,440 --> 00:20:10,377
* I want to hear from you *
451
00:20:10,410 --> 00:20:13,613
* It's not that I want you *
452
00:20:13,646 --> 00:20:18,618
both: * Not to say
but if you only knew *
453
00:20:18,651 --> 00:20:21,454
* More than words *
454
00:20:21,488 --> 00:20:26,026
* Is all you have to do
to make it real *
455
00:20:26,059 --> 00:20:28,862
Is anyone filming this?
Seriously?
456
00:20:28,895 --> 00:20:30,330
Erin!
457
00:20:30,363 --> 00:20:32,499
Yeah, it's either taping
or calling.
458
00:20:32,532 --> 00:20:35,935
both: * What would you do *
459
00:20:35,969 --> 00:20:40,040
* If my heart was
torn in two *
460
00:20:40,073 --> 00:20:42,575
You know what?
Walter Jr. Is here.
461
00:20:42,609 --> 00:20:43,943
Why don't you
come up and join us?
462
00:20:43,977 --> 00:20:45,478
Nah, come up and do
something with me.
463
00:20:45,512 --> 00:20:46,880
I don't know, pops.
I'm just having a good time
464
00:20:46,913 --> 00:20:47,947
getting to know
Andy's friends here.
465
00:20:47,981 --> 00:20:50,583
Get up there and sing
or I will cut your larynx
466
00:20:50,617 --> 00:20:52,052
and you'll never be able
to sing again.
467
00:20:52,085 --> 00:20:53,687
Whoo!
Come on!
468
00:20:55,488 --> 00:20:58,324
Come on.
469
00:20:58,358 --> 00:21:00,593
This old thing.
Man, I don't even--
470
00:21:00,627 --> 00:21:02,729
both: * May the good lord
be with you *
471
00:21:02,762 --> 00:21:07,567
* Down every road you roam *
472
00:21:07,600 --> 00:21:09,769
* And may sunshine
and happiness *
473
00:21:09,803 --> 00:21:14,474
* Surround you
when you're far from home *
474
00:21:14,507 --> 00:21:17,711
* And may you grow
to be proud *
475
00:21:17,744 --> 00:21:21,381
* Dignified and true *
476
00:21:21,414 --> 00:21:24,451
* And do unto others *
477
00:21:24,484 --> 00:21:27,387
* As you'd have done to you *
478
00:21:27,420 --> 00:21:29,522
Cheers!
All right!
479
00:21:29,556 --> 00:21:30,724
What are you doing there,
buddy?
480
00:21:30,757 --> 00:21:32,359
What's going on?
481
00:21:32,392 --> 00:21:34,327
Cheers, cheers, cheers.
Get your own guitar.
482
00:21:40,033 --> 00:21:41,501
- If you'd liketo make a call...
483
00:21:41,534 --> 00:21:43,470
- Sorry.
- Please hang up and try aga--
484
00:22:12,499 --> 00:22:14,100
I am so cold.
485
00:22:14,134 --> 00:22:16,036
That's because
you didn't bring a jacket.
486
00:22:16,069 --> 00:22:19,673
My first love is beet farming,
but it's a young man's game.
487
00:22:19,706 --> 00:22:21,408
Whoever heard
of an old beet farmer?
488
00:22:21,441 --> 00:22:23,443
Forget the beets.
489
00:22:23,476 --> 00:22:26,146
Concentrate on the hosting.
490
00:22:26,179 --> 00:22:29,015
I can spend
a considerable amount of money
491
00:22:29,049 --> 00:22:30,750
having my birthday party here.
492
00:22:30,784 --> 00:22:31,751
Oh, really?
493
00:22:31,785 --> 00:22:33,520
Well, we have a number
of birthday packages.
494
00:22:33,553 --> 00:22:35,922
The pewter package has
the least amount of goats.
495
00:22:35,955 --> 00:22:37,023
It's not no goats.
496
00:22:37,057 --> 00:22:38,591
Still 10 to 12 goats
497
00:22:38,625 --> 00:22:39,726
depending on
the availability of the goats.
498
00:22:39,759 --> 00:22:42,495
Now, the goat package
obviously has the most goats.
499
00:22:42,529 --> 00:22:43,630
What were you thinking?
500
00:22:45,565 --> 00:22:47,701
Of course I am not
interested in goats.
501
00:22:47,734 --> 00:22:49,035
Why would you spend
so much time
502
00:22:49,069 --> 00:22:52,505
going over the goats with me?
503
00:22:52,539 --> 00:22:55,108
I can
get you exotic meats.
504
00:22:55,141 --> 00:22:58,111
Hippo steaks,
giraffe burgers.
505
00:22:58,144 --> 00:23:00,113
We'll talk.
506
00:23:04,050 --> 00:23:06,519
It'll all be goat.
507
00:23:06,553 --> 00:23:08,188
Hello, Cece Halpert?
508
00:23:08,221 --> 00:23:09,756
This is Andrew Bernard.
509
00:23:09,789 --> 00:23:11,624
I'd very much like
to speak with you
510
00:23:11,658 --> 00:23:15,095
about your paper supply needs.
511
00:23:16,563 --> 00:23:18,732
That wasn't even
my worst sales call.
512
00:23:19,833 --> 00:23:21,468
Hi.
513
00:23:24,104 --> 00:23:27,240
What was that display?
514
00:23:27,273 --> 00:23:30,243
I don't know.
I just thought...
515
00:23:30,276 --> 00:23:32,212
if I could throw
this great garden party
516
00:23:32,245 --> 00:23:35,015
and show you how respected
I am,
517
00:23:35,048 --> 00:23:37,183
that you'd be proud of me.
518
00:23:37,217 --> 00:23:39,119
- Andrew.
- I know.
519
00:23:39,152 --> 00:23:41,221
I know that you're
proud of me.
520
00:23:41,254 --> 00:23:42,889
I'm not going to tell you
how impressed I am
521
00:23:42,922 --> 00:23:47,694
that you're a manager
of some rinky-dink branch
522
00:23:47,727 --> 00:23:50,697
of a paper company
in Scranton, Pennsylvania.
523
00:23:50,730 --> 00:23:54,100
How long are you going
to go on needing my approval?
524
00:23:54,134 --> 00:23:55,368
You're a grown man.
525
00:23:55,402 --> 00:23:57,537
Don't act like a little boy whoneeds--
526
00:23:59,039 --> 00:24:00,674
- I think if Ihad parents like that,
527
00:24:00,707 --> 00:24:02,242
I'd be trying to convince
everyone all the time
528
00:24:02,275 --> 00:24:03,677
how great I was too.
529
00:24:03,710 --> 00:24:05,111
Guess we found
Andy's Rosebud.
530
00:24:05,145 --> 00:24:06,579
Rosebud?
531
00:24:06,613 --> 00:24:07,580
It's a reference
to Citizen Kane.
532
00:24:07,614 --> 00:24:08,715
It's something that explains
533
00:24:08,748 --> 00:24:10,917
why a person
became the way they are.
534
00:24:10,950 --> 00:24:11,918
I know Citizen Kane.
535
00:24:11,951 --> 00:24:15,722
Rosebud didn't explain
why he was how he was.
536
00:24:15,755 --> 00:24:17,290
It just represented
what was important
537
00:24:17,323 --> 00:24:19,059
to him as a child
that he missed.
538
00:24:19,092 --> 00:24:21,061
That school of thought--
let's just agree to disagree.
539
00:24:21,094 --> 00:24:23,530
No.
You're wrong.
540
00:24:23,563 --> 00:24:25,131
- Are you sure?
- Yeah.
541
00:24:25,165 --> 00:24:26,866
I'm too hot anyway.
542
00:24:26,900 --> 00:24:29,736
My body has somehow become
acclimated to Southern Italy.
543
00:24:29,769 --> 00:24:30,937
Isn't that strange?
I've never been there.
544
00:24:32,972 --> 00:24:34,040
- Oh!
- Yeah.
545
00:24:34,074 --> 00:24:35,975
Ah, well...yes.
That's nice.
546
00:24:36,009 --> 00:24:39,245
Thank you.
547
00:24:39,279 --> 00:24:41,114
It was a nice party.
548
00:24:41,147 --> 00:24:43,016
Uh, setting was
a little strange.
549
00:24:43,049 --> 00:24:44,551
The food--
550
00:24:44,584 --> 00:24:46,052
Sandwiches were dry.
551
00:24:46,086 --> 00:24:48,288
Just awful sandwiches.
Uh...
552
00:24:48,321 --> 00:24:49,956
people were colorful.
553
00:24:49,989 --> 00:24:51,224
They're colorful people.
554
00:24:51,257 --> 00:24:52,892
Yeah, colorful is the word.
555
00:24:52,926 --> 00:24:56,062
It was very...Andy.
556
00:24:56,096 --> 00:24:58,565
Bye, Tuna!
Bye, Pam!
557
00:25:06,940 --> 00:25:09,843
Hey, everybody.
I'm going to leave.
558
00:25:09,876 --> 00:25:12,312
And I just wanted to say
I'm really sorry.
559
00:25:12,345 --> 00:25:14,280
Cheeseburger or hamburger?
560
00:25:16,683 --> 00:25:20,954
Um, cheeseburger?
561
00:25:20,987 --> 00:25:22,789
Nard-dog.
562
00:25:26,026 --> 00:25:26,960
Thanks, Oscar.
563
00:25:32,132 --> 00:25:39,239
* *
564
00:25:44,310 --> 00:25:46,246
What are they doing?
565
00:25:46,279 --> 00:25:48,848
Closing ceremonies.
566
00:25:48,882 --> 00:25:50,684
Nice touch.
567
00:26:08,768 --> 00:26:09,903
I think I left
my wallet in your house.
568
00:26:09,936 --> 00:26:11,304
Who cares?
569
00:26:11,338 --> 00:26:12,305
Right here.
570
00:26:12,339 --> 00:26:14,774
Mr. James Halpert!
571
00:26:14,808 --> 00:26:17,143
- Keys, forgot my keys.
- Stop forgetting things.
572
00:26:17,177 --> 00:26:18,311
I didn't forget them.
They're right here.
573
00:26:18,345 --> 00:26:19,646
That was stupid.
574
00:26:19,679 --> 00:26:23,883
Mr. James Halpert!
575
00:26:23,917 --> 00:26:26,886
So sorry.
I forgot that thing.
576
00:26:26,920 --> 00:26:28,988
Idiot.
577
00:26:29,022 --> 00:26:29,989
Whoo.
578
00:26:30,023 --> 00:26:31,124
Mis--
579
00:26:33,193 --> 00:26:34,761
Mi--
what are you doing?
580
00:26:34,794 --> 00:26:35,862
Hey, I have a question.
581
00:26:35,895 --> 00:26:37,297
Who do you think
is really
582
00:26:37,330 --> 00:26:38,431
the best salesman
in this office?
583
00:26:38,465 --> 00:26:39,866
That's a stupid question.
584
00:26:39,899 --> 00:26:43,636
Obviously m--
Mr. James Halpert!
42684
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