Original subtitles

Excuse me, do you mind if I, uh...

Free country.

What's that?

Oh, nothing.

Sure it's not a one-minute time machine?

Huh?

Damn it.

Excuse me, do you mind if I, uh...

Free country.

What's that?

Oh, nothing.

Sure it's not a one-minute time machine?

Huh?

Damn it.

My lunchbox.

It's weird.

I like weird.

Cool.

I'm Lanez.

I'm James.

James.

Are you trying to pick me up?

No, come on.

Do I look that strong?

Are you trying to pick me up?

Yes.

I'm... I mean, trying to.

Try harder.

Um...

High.

Harder.

Coffee.

Harder.

Dinner.

Dinner.

We go back to my place.

Right now?

And make sweet love.

Oh.

And fuck our brains out.

Finally.

I'm so sick of men who can't just ask for what they want.

I want you to spank my bad little boy bottom.

Oh, um...

Come on.

I thought you'd...

No, no.

I want to spank you.

We're going.

Right now.

Oh.

Hey.

You like science.

Science.

My five-year-old niece likes science.

I have a doctorate in quantum mechanics.

Oh, you like theoretical quantum mechanics regarding both our perceptions of time

and how we deal with universal spatial geography.

Um...

Yeah.

What's your favorite part?

The butt.

We were still talking about science.

Time travel.

Me too.

Oh.

It's amazing.

Scary as shit, though, right?

I know.

Wait.

What?

Why?

Well, have you read the chapter on practical application?

Of course I read the chapter on practical application.

And?

And I am just going to hit this little red button here.

What?

Excuse me.

I'm sorry.

Who are you?

What are you doing with my book?

Shh.

I need to read this real fast.

Don't worry.

This one doesn't even count.

Let's see here, huh?

95 pages?

Fuck that.

No, I haven't actually read that.

I've been too busy doing instead of reading.

Doing like...

Doing actual practical time traveling?

Have...

Have you used that yet?

I don't know.

Maybe.

For me?

Does that creep you out?

No.

No, it's actually really beautiful.

You really think so?

Yeah, I've never had a man fight for me before,

let alone die for me.

I'm sorry, die?

No, I'm still here.

Yeah, not you, exactly.

But that's the point of the chapter, right?

Time travel's impossible.

It's not impossible.

I've done it.

No.

Every time you've pushed that button,

you've created a copy of yourself in a parallel world

that exists one minute in your past.

And your original body dies in the genuine,

or the earlier universe.

Oh.

How many times?

I don't know.

Maybe 16?

Ah!

Help!

Anybody?

Oh.

Nothing.

Gotta...

Are you...

Oh, my God!

Oh, God!

Shit!

Someone please help me!

Oh, God!

It's touching me!

Okay, okay, wake up now.

Ah!

I've killed myself 16 times.

You're the bright side.

You're the first successful multiple suicide.

That's pretty cool.

Hey, look.

Let's go back to my place

and just forget all about this stupid little murder box.

Murder box?

The suicide machine one.

Who cares?

That wasn't you.

It was them.

Hmm?

I can't.

Shit, really?

How am I ever gonna get a boner again,

knowing what I know?

I...

Damn it.

Regina 2, you better thank me for this.

What's your favorite part?

Time travel.

Me too.

It's amazing.

Scary is...

Scary?

What do you mean?

No, nothing.

I mean, it's not like this is some multidimensional murder box or anything, right?

Huh?

Damn it.

You